Page 11

June 2011

11

AN ENGLISH LESSON

LARRY And DALE

No English dictionary has been able to

Two roofers, Larry and Dale were on the

explain the difference between the two words

roof laying tile, when a sudden wind gust

COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that’s

came and knocked down their ladder. “I

easy to understand.

have an idea” said Larry. “We’ll throw you

Some people say there is no difference

down, and then you can pick up the ladder.”

between COMPLETE and FINISHED. I beg to

What, do you think, I’m stupid? “I have an

differ because, there is. When you marry the

idea” said Dale. “I’ll shine my flashlight, and

right woman, you are “COMPLETE.” And when

you can climb down on the beam of light.”

you marry the wrong one, you are “FINISHED”!

“What, do you think I’m stupid,” asked

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are… “COMPLETELY

Larry. “You’ll just turn off the flashlight when I’m

FINISHED!”

halfway there.”

SWEETHEART

Hollywood Squares

A guy was invited to an old friends’ home for

These great questions and answers are

dinner. His buddy preceded every request to

from the days when the Hollywood Squares

his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey,

game show responses were spontaneous, not

My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

scripted, as they are now.

The guy was impressed since he knew the couple had been married almost 70 years, and

Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

while the wife was off in the kitchen he said to his buddy, “I think it’s wonderful that after all the years you’ve been married, you still call your wife those pet names.” His buddy hung his head. “To tell you the

Piffle’s MATH MADNESS

truth, I forgot her name about ten years ago.”

MAN’S BEST FRIENDS Friendship between women: A woman doesn’t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend’s house. The husband calls his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it. Friendship between men: A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife calls her husband’s 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.

Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction. Solution on page 18.

Submit your joke at piffle.ca

Piffle Magazine 2011-06  

In this issue: Citizens' Coalition supporting Honour House, Modern Home Furnishings tells their local story, Paddlewheels on the Fraser in P...

Piffle Magazine 2011-06  

In this issue: Citizens' Coalition supporting Honour House, Modern Home Furnishings tells their local story, Paddlewheels on the Fraser in P...

Advertisement