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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Digital Media Editor/Movies Editor Paulina Reso Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Staff Writers Ryan Briggs, Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Associate Web Producer Carly Szkaradnik Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Naveed Ahsan, Dotun Akintoye, Jessica Bergman, Michael Buozis, Lalita Clozel, Joseph Poteracki, Sameer Rao, Marc Snitzer, Lara Witt Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Staff Photographer Neal Santos Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Jonathan Morein (ext. 249) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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contents Summer is ready when you are.

The Naked City .........................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................54 Movies.........................................................................................59 The Agenda ..............................................................................61 Food & Drink ...........................................................................69 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY BRENNA ADAMS AND RESECA PESKIN

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the thebellcurve


CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -1 ]

A high school student in Warminster is suspended for wearing a T-shirt with a picture of an M16 rifle and the words “Peace Through Superior Firepower.” If it’s any consolation, kid, society has no problem with you buying an actual M16.


At a Villanova Law School commencement ceremony, Gov. Tom Corbett encourages graduates to model themselves after Abraham Lincoln and Sir Thomas More. “Though I personally went the Daniel Plainview route.”

[ + 3 ] Montgomery County police rescue nine

ducklings that had fallen into a storm drain. “Gwate for them but I’m stawving,” says poor wittle Grimbly, the sewer gator.

[ + 4 ] Penn veterinarians perform a kidney trans-

plant on 1-year-old kitten Elvis, who was poisoned by eating a lily and subsequently suffered through renal failure and four weeks of dialysis. “Hey, uh, if you folks don’t need that old kidney no more …” says Grimbly.

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[ -2 ]

[ 4] -

The Pennsylvania Horticultural Society blames the Flower Show’s poor attendance this year on local media hyping a winter storm that never arrived. Well, that or whatever beast was sneaking in at night to devour the lilies. The Pennsylvania Convention Center, expanded in 2011 at a cost to taxpayers of $780 million, is in financial trouble due to labor troubles and reduced bookings. “ME NEVER WANTED TO BE BURDEN,” says Convention Center.“PERHAPS EVERYTHING BE FIXED IF ME EXPAND AGAIN?”

[ -2 ]

Mayor Nutter and City Council are considering increasing the “liquor-by-the-drink” tax from 10 percent to 15 percent to help close the school district’s budget shortfall .That’s right, little ones, you can drink your problems away.

[ -2 ]

Around 3,700 people show up when the city holds a job fair for ex-offenders, forcing officials to postpone the event until they can find a bigger location. Say, isn’t there an abandoned convention center just down the street?

This week’s total: -4 | Last week’s total: -2


[ education ]

STATE OF EMERGENCY Who’s (still) killing Philly schools? The status quo is now state control and permanent crisis. By Daniel Denvir


ur young people will suffer under a devastating bare-bones budget,” Mayor Michael Nutter warned at a press conference last week. “The quality of education in Philadelphia will plummet and we will all suffer as a result: poverty, unemployment, crime, lost wages and lack of personal opportunity.” Philadelphia, of course, already suffers from all of these maladies. But the School District of Philadelphia’s $304 million deficit, the most recent financial crisis in a district that has eliminated thousands of staff and teacher positions in recent years, threatens to make them all worse. Only “shared sacrifice,” according to Superintendent William Hite, can avert the complete elimination of librarians, extracurricular activities, arts and counselors. The form of that sacrifice: $60 million in new revenue from the city, $120 million from the state and $133 million in labor concessions, mostly from the Philadelphia Federation of Teachers. The mayor, who has been facing criticism for inaction, now proposes a hike in the liquor-by-the-drink tax from 10 percent to 15 percent and a $2 levy on packs of cigarettes; combined with improved tax collections, he says those measures could bring in an extra $95 million next fiscal year. But public-school activists remain unimpressed: The two sin taxes are considered long shots because they

require approval from recalcitrant Harrisburg Republicans, and Nutter has joined the Greater Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce in opposing legislation that would effectively raise the city’s Use and Occupancy tax on larger businesses. “Nutter values his alliance with the business community pretty much above all else,” says Ron Whitehorne, a retired teacher and activist with the Philadelphia Coalition Advocating for Public Schools (PCAPS). But the current debate over how to balance the district’s books is only the latest skirmish in a complicated, long and often opaque political war over city schools, fought against a backdrop of permanent fiscal crisis — crisis that offers frequent opportunities for leadership with a vision for drastic change. This time around, Hite cites the current deficit as cause to demand not only the $133 million giveback from school staff but also a new contract that ends senioritybased raises and school-placement privileges, and requires longer work days. (He explained to the Inquirer that state politicians view city schools “as a cesspool,” and eliminating seniority can help win their support.) For over a decade now, Philly schools have been warning of increasingly yawning operating deficits — and used that red ink as cover to transfer more control into private hands, which has further compounded the schools’ budgetary woes. “A school cannot function on the district’s proposal,” says Anissa Weinraub, a teacher at Bartram High School and a member of Teacher Action Group. “And if what they’re doing is just politicking

“A school cannot function that way.”

>>> continued on page 8

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[ a million election-day stories ]

✚ PHILLY SHRUGGED It was a hard-fought campaign, with heated debates, mudslinging and even occasional talk of reform. In the end, Philly Democrats just didn’t care about the race for controller, between incumbent Alan Butkovitz and challengers Brett Mandel and Mark Zecca. The turnout for Tuesday’s primary appeared among the lowest in recent history. And Mandel wound up with even fewer votes than Omar Sabir, otherwise known as the Traffic Court judge candidate who once had his driver’s license suspended.

Mandel had hoped for a swell of reform voters. “The juxtaposition of the fact we are raising taxes and closing our schools is particularly galling to Philadelphians,” he told CP outside a polling place in Center City — what should’ve been safe territory. But his supporters weren’t showing up. State Sen. Larry Farnese, who broke with the Democratic City Committee (DCC) to help Mandel carry Farnese’s 8th Ward, said Mandel “out-campaigned Butkovitz. He out-fundraised him. And his message just didn’t resonate.” Some DCC members did, as Mandel put it, “either quietly or loudly” back him. CP met one 2nd Ward committeeeperson wearing a Mandel sticker. “I chose the candidates I think are right,” she said, but didn’t want to give her name. But Councilman Bobby Henon, also a ward leader, noted, “Those who deviate from the party endorsements — there can be party fallout.” Some speculated that the DCC preferred to keep turnout low, though Henon said there was aggressive “microtargeting” going on to reach “super voters” and union members, with thousands of labor supporters getting out the vote (aka GOTV). But those efforts apparently didn’t reach Farnese’s ’hood. “I didn’t see any GOTV stuff.”The only unsolicited contact CP had from

the party was a copy of an injunction issued against Mandel for electioneering. (Mandel said he had stepped into a polling place to say hello, and when he saw a man who was “inked up” he half-jokingly offered him a Mandel-for-Controller temporary tattoo.) Mark Zecca had hoped to capitalize on that type of negative politics, reminding voters that he was the only candidate not present in a now-infamous backroom meeting regarding a potential job for Mandel at the controller’s office. He came in a distant third. Mandel took 30 percent of the vote, and conceded well before 10 p.m. — calling Butkovitz, he joked, on “the same phone” used to arrange their scandalous meeting. “This is a tough town, sometimes, to get people to do anything but the Philly shrug,” Mandel told supporters. “Everybody in this room has responded. Everyone across the city, not so much.” —Samantha Melamed and Ryan Briggs

✚ NUMBERS GAME After an Election Day colored by low voter turnout, it’s natural to wonder exactly who did show up at the polls. Analysis of past voting data and anecdotal accounts indicate that this primary was, unsurprisingly, mostly an affair for party insiders. But despite the victory of Democratic City Committee backed Alan Butkovitz in the marquee city controller race, those same indicators hint at a DCC that is failing to attract new voters beyond its historical base of labor unions, committeepeople and their dwindling sphere of influence. Past off-season primaries drew more voters, though the city had fewer Democrats and a smaller population overall. Over the last several elections, the number of registered Democrats in Philly has increased by 8 percent, from 740,868 in 2005 to 805,468 today, now encompassing 78.3 percent of voters. Yet, the number of Democrats >>> continued on page 12

hitandrun ³ news in brief

³ THE TERM FOR people who vote in elections like Tuesday’s primary for controller,

district attorney (DA) and various judgeships is “super voter.” It’s a term that appears to reference enthusiasm rather than, say, actual knowledge of the candidates, or even the offices they seek. Take, for example, John Taylor, who voted in the Northeast’s 64th Ward, 15th Division. “I came out to vote for Seth Williams for [DA],” he explained. Williams ran unopposed. Though Taylor had stepped out of the voting booth only moments earlier, he could not recall any of the other candidates he voted for. “I think I voted for [Controller Alan] Butkovitz. Probably.” Yet Denise Mallon, the Democratic committeeperson there, says some voters won’t take the sample ballots she gives out: “No one knows who is running, yet they still don’t want you to tell them who to vote for.” At the Northeast Church of Christ, where the 54th Ward’s 2nd Division votes, one voter remarked, “I didn’t even know there was an election today until I saw it this morning on Fox news.” Republican poll worker Rosemary Kirst blamed the media for the lack of information. “I looked at the Inquirer last weekend and there’s almost nothing of substance,” Kirst said. “You turn on ABC news and … they can’t even tell you one thing about the elections in their own city,” agreed Democratic committeeperson Kathy Westberry. At the squat brick American Legion Post 810, a Democratic committeeperson recommended Ryan Mulvey for Traffic Court judge because “Mulvey worked in the courts. Not as a lawyer, mind you.” It’s not a ringing endorsement, but it passes for enthusiasm on this sleepy Election Day. —Michael Buozis

By Daniel Denvir

WAR REPORTERS ³ A MAY 13 Inquirer business column by Diane

Mastrull was posted online with a curious editor’s note: “The opinions and analysis expressed here reflect the views of the authors alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of TD Bank, N.A. or its affiliates.” The article was about the socially conscious Untours Foundation supporting a local pickle company. The note, according to an email from deputy managing editor Sandra Clark obtained by City Paper, is “part of an advertising campaign negotiated between the company and TD Bank.” Inquirer editors scrambled to remove the note from the new paywalled It would remain on the free version posted to “The fact that TD Bank would think the copy they sponsor should be consistent with their views — unless otherwise stated! — reflects a curious relationship between and their corporate sponsors,” says one newsroom source, who like others, requested anonymity. Also worth noting: TD Bank has a happy business history with Interstate General Media co-owner, insurance magnate and South Jersey political boss George Norcross. He received $7.6 million from the 2007 sale of Commerce Bank to TD, according to — and then $28.2 million and TD stock valued at $69 million after the sale went through. Reporters worry that is devouring the papers it was created to promote. The site is run by Norcross’ twentysomething daughter Lexie. “It’s basically outright warfare going on,” says one source. “None of us wanted to be part of the ship of entertainment and sex.” But the site remains in “power because they still control our main portal to the world. Nobody knows about” The tension is longstanding. In March, the creation of the and sites gave both papers handsome websites and the online editorial control they had long been denied. But conspicuously fails to advertise either site, and their peculiar structure suggests that they may have been built to benefit to the papers’ detriment: Newspaper content is on for free, while the papers’ sites guard the same content with a hard paywall. It’s possible the papers’ online independence will be a Pyrrhic victory, leaving with the massive audience their content created in the first place. Columnist/social-media director Daniel Rubin says will “find an audience, but it may be a smaller audience than … Until that happens, I can understand the frustration.” ✚ Send feedback to

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✚ State of Emergency

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to get concessions — so I can get paid even less for doing even more in a more difficult environment — would that pass in any other profession?” ³ THE CONVENTIONAL IMAGE of officials from

inept Philadelphia going hat-in-hand to weary accountants in Harrisburg ignores a basic reality: The state has run the school district since 2002, when Gov. Mark Schweiker promised funding in exchange for direct control of Philly schools. That year, the district projected a $115 million two-year deficit. The state takeover established the School Reform Commission (SRC) to oversee the district and turned 45 schools over to private managers, including for-profit educational management organizations, in what the Rand Corporation called “the nation’s largest experiment in the private management of public schools.” But state control and privatization failed to produce achievement, Rand found. In fact, it exacerbated budget woes, with each new crisis since prompting a fresh effort to reshape schools under pro-charter, anti-union policies. The next crisis came in October 2006, when Superintendent Paul Vallas, who embraced charterschool expansion, new construction, outsourcing and high-stakes standardized tests during his five-year tenure, announced a new $73.3 million deficit. Vallas was criticized for spending money the district didn’t have, and he spent $107 million on charters. But Philadelphia superintendents work on a razor’s edge: The district, except for a few years of increased financial support under Gov. Ed Rendell, simply lacks the permanent, stable funding necessary to educate city students. Instead, the perpetual crisis forces the district to borrow money on the bond market, driving it further into long-term debt. The district will pay $28 million in debt service this fiscal year. Gov. Tom Corbett’s $860 million cut to basic education statewide, alongside the end of federal stimulus dollars, kicked off the new round of crises in 2011. Philadelphia raised taxes to fund city schools for two consecutive years, but failed to plug a shortfall that is more structural than circumstantial. “Our fundamental problem is that we have a terrible way of funding public education in Pennsylvania,” says Ron Cowell, a former state legislator and head of the Education Policy and Leadership Center. “It … is excessively dependent on local wealth, and state government has been very stingy about supporting public education. The state’s share ranks us 42nd in the country.” The crisis simmered, and the district announced a radical restructuring plan to plug a $1.1 billion cumulative five-year deficit in April 2012. It featured the closure of 64 schools and the organization of those that remained open into “achievement networks,” which could be privately managed. The so-called Blueprint for Transforming Philadelphia’s Public Schools, created by the Boston Consulting Group with funding controversially sourced from the William Penn Foundation and other sometimes-secret entities, drew large protests. And though the achievement network

proposal was shelved, major concessions were exacted from bluecollar unions and, in March, the SRC voted to close 23 city schools. Mark Gleason, who heads the Philadelphia School Partnership (PSP), singles out “the use of stimulus funds to cover recurring operating expenses” in explaining the budget crunch. PSP, which includes pro-voucher conservatives on its board and supported this year’s school closures, has become a lightning rod for critics since its founding in 2010. The private group is an increasingly powerful decision maker on education policy in the city. Nutter is a supporter, and has accused PSP’s critics of engaging in “esoteric debates that ultimately don’t mean anything to these young people.” This year, Hite revealed the $304 million gap just weeks

Each new crisis brings “reform.” after the school closings became official. For the first time, however, the district announced a moratorium on the expansion of charters, which cost an estimated $7,000 for each child who enrolls. The additional 15,000 seats charters sought would have cost $500 million over five years. Charter advocates, who have sued the district over enrollment caps in the past, reacted with notable calm, perhaps because Deputy Superintendent Paul Kihn noted they do not “anticipate being in this situation forever.” At last week’s press conference, state Sen. Anthony Williams, a lead charter and school voucher supporter, praised Hite for his commitment to “supporting highachieving seats,” using a phrase popular in pro-charter circles. It is also popular in the Nutter administration, which sits on the Great Schools Compact, an entity facilitated by PSP and funded by the Gates Foundation with a mission to expand “high-quality options and to dramatically reduce the >>> continued on page 10

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number of chronically underperforming schools.” ³ LAST FRIDAY, THOUSANDS of students walked out of city schools to demand fair funding, shutting down Broad Street in the largest student protest since the state takeover. But for Williams, also a frontrunner in the 2015 mayoral race, the school’s problems are the city’s own. “We’re not asking for a tax increase from the state,” Williams said. “We’re actually asking, frankly, to solve our own problems a lot more aggressively than we have in the past.” Philly’s problem is a big one: It is, in short, having to educate a vast share of the state’s poor and highneeds children without sufficient assistance. “Philadelphia, like most big urban school districts, has long depended on state and federal funding, both of which are subject to the vagaries of partisan politics, anti-urban sentiment and austerity,” says Penn urban historian Tom Sugrue, who traces the roots of the schools’ crisis to the federally subsidized flight of businesses and the well-to-do to the suburbs. “Essentially, our education policy amounts to segregating minority and high-poverty students in struggling school districts, starving school budgets, experimenting in various untested forms of school governance and then blaming teachers and students when the schools fail.” Each year, local politicians respond to the ongoing crisis by proposing short-term measures that fail to deal with long-term problems. “The reality is, without a significant contribution from the state, whatever we can do on the local level is not going to fix the problem,” says City Council President Darrell Clarke. Pennsylvania Education Department spokesperson Tim Eller contends that “the school district has lost money … at the federal level, something Gov. Corbett has no control over.” He highlights Corbett’s proposal to restore statewide funding by $90 million this year, or 10 percent of what disappeared in 2011. He called it “a significant investment.” But schools are struggling statewide, including nearby suburban districts. Philadelphia suburbs have received $37 million less this year than they did before the budget cuts, according to a report from Public Citizens for Children and Youth (PCCY). Most districts in Delaware, Chester, Montgomery and Bucks counties have raised taxes for two years straight as a result. “We are going out to school board meetings, and we are hearing dire complaints like we’re hearing in Philadelphia,” says PCCY executive director Donna Cooper, formerly Secretary of Policy and Planning under Rendell and the founder of Good Schools Pennsylvania. “The more the state moves away from carrying its appropriate share of school funding, the more it rolls the tax burden down the hill to the poorest communities.” Yet there’s been no statewide movement to demand that funding. “You have a governor with the lowest rating ever,” says Councilwoman Maria Quiñones-Sánchez. “And we can’t figure out how we capitalize on that? That’s a strategy problem.” Activists criticize Nutter, who controls two of

five SRC seats, for not speaking out loudly enough for state funding. That may be pragmatic: Corbett and Republicans in the legislature have little interest in raising taxes to fund education — and particularly, the argument goes, in Philadelphia. And it doesn’t help that the Philadelphia delegation’s power in Harrisburg is at a historic low, thanks to Republican Party electoral success and criminal convictions of influential Philly politicians. But the failure to build statewide coalitions may have ultimately closed the door on the political opportunity to pressure a historically unpopular governor who is up for reelection in 2014. Nutter has also caught flak for supporting controversial restructuring efforts. In 2012, he called the district Blueprint

“We can’t fix it without state help.” “stark but realistic,” and told critics to “grow up and deal with” it — though he said little else after major protests erupted. And Nutter has, as president of the U.S. Conference of Mayors, supported Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s hard line against striking teachers and has endorsed so-called “parent trigger” laws that allow parents to convert schools to charters. The SRC’s confusing delegation of authority has obscured accountability, leaving the state government in charge but unaccountable. Clarke tells CP that he was surprised when SRC Chairman Pedro Ramos and Hite told him that “there was no concerted effort from various school districts across the state to go in as a collective body, to go in and ask for additional funding.” “While it’s supposed to be a state-controlled entity,” he says, “I don’t see a sense of urgency from the state to make sure this district remains whole.” (

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✚ a million election-day stories

[ the naked city ]

<<< continued from page 7

“The power of many gets smashed up by lack of information.” voting declined by about 16 percent. Those numbers had implications in the race: Though Butkovitz had the backing of nearly all ward leaders, he brought in only about as many votes as he had in 2009, when many AfricanAmerican wards broke in favor of John L. Braxton. Some say the DCC likes to keep primary turnout low. But by lunchtime at Famous Fourth Street Deli, the tumbleweeds rolling through polling places were giving some of the party faithful Election-Day jitters. Labor mouthpiece and “political consultant” Frank Keel said the controller contest was a toss-up. “Honest to God … I don’t have a good sense about this one.” Though Butkovitz did win handily, such uncertainty for a well-funded, party-backed incumbent would have been unthinkable in decades past. So why haven’t these numbers translated into fewer victories for DCC-anointed candidates? One answer: The party’s stagnation has been matched by a lack of engagement from new Democrats — statistically mostly immigrants, well-to-do transplants and hitherto apolitical citizens who registered to support Obama. Or, as candidate Mark Zecca put it, “The power of many gets smashed up with an uninformed

public.” His too-late, too-quiet campaign sought to mobilize young people and reform-seekers, but lacked momentum. But the current trend presents a vulnerability for the future, as the political machine

can generate tens of thousands of votes, not hundreds of thousands. Today’s DCC bears a striking resemblance to the mid-20th-century Republican machine, whose rule was overturned by a slate of charismatic reform Democrats who appealed to voters outside the power structure. Perhaps this crop of new voters is simply waiting for the right campaign. —R.B. and S.M.

✚ CLARIFICATION Our story on Do One Thing [“Help on Wheels,” May 16, 2013] should have noted that Dr. Stacey Trooskin heads its Hepatitis-C testing program.

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Style never felt so good

Rittenhouse / South Street / Manayunk / Chadds Ford / Haddonfield

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Are you Tired of Wrestling with Cigarettes?

If you are ready to quit you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to do it alone. The Center for Studies of Addiction at the University of Pennsylvania may be able to help. We are conducting a research study for healthy 18-60 year old men and women who have been smokers for at least 6 months. Participants in this study may receive a medication to help them quit. There is no cost to you, and you will be compensated for your time and travel. Call today to see if you qualify 215-222-3200 ext. 199 or 204 Ask for Josh or Barbara

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THE CLOSER YOU LOOK, THE LESS YOU WILL SEE. LOG ON TO WWW.GOFOBO.COM/RSVP AND ENTER THE RSVP CODE CITY8XAW TO DOWNLOAD TWO â&#x20AC;&#x153;ADMIT-ONEâ&#x20AC;? PASSES. WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. No purchase necessary. Limit two passes per person while supplies last. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. Arrive early. Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee admission. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. This film is rated PG-13 for language, some action and sexual content. Must be 13 years of age or older to download passes and attend screening. Anti-piracy security will be in place at this screening. By attending, you agree to comply with all security requirements. All federal, state, and local regulations apply. Summit, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Passes cannot be exchanged, transferred, or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible for lost, delayed, or misdirected entries, phone failures, or tampering. Void where prohibited by law.


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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ IT MAY NOT always be sunny in Philadelphia,

but things are certainly getting heated where Mac’s Tavern is concerned. Looking to create a second Mac’s after the first opened in Old City, co-owner Ben Haney found his spot at 1904 Chestnut St., the IndustryXIX complex. That address has held several clubs (Pearl,Kokopelli) under various owners since Little Pete’s 2 closed, but who wouldn’t welcome a high-profile saloon like Mac’s? Trouble is, DJ-turned-interior designer Brendan Bring’Em says his first-floor Emmaline discothèque — which just opened in January — isn’t going anywhere. Independent of Haney and Bring’Em, I’ve heard rumors about legal wrangling between the landlords and previous club owners regarding this alleged license and that supposed lien. And the orange liquor-license sticker did mysteriously disappear from the building the other night. But Haney says his deal to put in a Mac’s Tavern at 1904 Chestnut is still on, just coming along slowly. I love a good he-said/he-said. Bring’Em, meanwhile, just got a another club space at Front and Girard for a second disco. ³ The Jose Garces Restaurant Group is on a roll, with reported changes to Chifa’s menu and a spot in the newly foodie-focused Moorestown (N.J.) Mall. Now there’s the word that Distrito in the University of Pennsylvania area is getting a big revamp of its menu to reflect something more modern-Mex than usual. Their spiffy new website says Taco Tuesdays start May 21. ³ Just because I couldn’t pin Avery Rosewater down for a chat doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t fall in love with Philly’s dozy art-pop ensemble. The band features one-time Arches guy Julien Rossow-Greenberg (who has another lo-fi band with Avery drummer Kevin Comly named Gold Julius) singing and playing guitar. Catch them at Kung Fu Necktie on May 24. It’s a long weekend. Stay a while. ³The Turner Classic Moviescable channel is highlighting/hawking Inky film scribe Steven Rea’s Hollywood Rides a Bike: Cycling With the Stars throughout its daily schedule. The kid’s a schtar. ³ Alan Jaffe from the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society tells me the fenced gardens and swank furniture currently arranged for Morgan’s Pier chefGeorge Sabatino’s University of the Arts popup next to Broad Street Ministry is but a soft launch. “We’re just swinging the gate open,” says Jaffe about their current 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. weekday window. Evening hours get going in earnest at May 29’s garden kickoff party. “The popularity of previous Pop Up Gardens attracted Four Corners Management,” explains Jaffe. “For the first time, our garden has a foodand-drink service, with part of the proceeds going to PHS programs.” ³ Icepack gets illustrated every Thursday at (

NO BONE MOVIES: Members of Serpent Throne — (clockwise from top left) Don Argott, Colin Smith, Demian Fenton and Sean-Paul Fenton — are also filmmakers who’ve worked on local hits The Art of the Steal and Resurrect Dead. DANTE TORRIERI

[ rock ]

SERIOUS RIFFS Serpent Throne’s adventures in metal and celluloid. By Elliott Sharp


emian Fenton and Don Argott met one of their heroes a few years ago. The two local filmmakers were hired to shoot a promotional video for a music-industry client’s new album. The client? Ozzy freaking Osbourne. “We rolled up and there were all these fancy New York photographers there,” recalls Fenton. “And we looked like two dirtbags. When Ozzy saw us, he came over — he gravitated toward us — and told us stories about recording the first Sabbath album. It was totally rad.” Fenton and Argott didn’t tell Ozzy about their own Sabbathinspired, instrumental metal band, Serpent Throne, or that they had just released an album titled Ride Satan Ride, or that track seven was called “Back Stabbeth.” “We didn’t need to tell him,” says Fenton. “He could tell we were huge fans — he knew just by looking at us.” Serpent Throne formed in 2005, right after Fenton (editor) and Argott (director) finished making Rock School, a documentary about the Paul Green School of Rock Music. It was their first doc, and it was stressful, so they needed to blow off steam. “We rented a small practice space to set some amps up and riff, loudly,” says Fenton. “Slowly, but surely, everyone showed up, and we became Serpent Throne. There was no intention to start a band — we were just staying sane while making films.”

Fenton and Argott, both guitarists, have wrapped several documentaries since that first practice, including The Art of the Steal, about the Barnes Foundation’s controversial move to Philly, and Last Days Here, about the lead singer of Pentagram. Serpent Throne’s bassist, Colin Smith, has also picked up a film credit since then, namely as the producer, writer and co-star of Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles. Serpent Thone’s drummer, (Demian’s brother) Sean-Paul Fenton, is the only band member not involved in film. But he’s a web programmer, and when he was hired to make a web site for some Vietnam veterans who flew helicopters during the war, the idea for the band’s fourth album was born. Released on April 30, Brother Lucifer is about soldiers who worship the devil and drop acid during the Vietnam War. There are no lyrics — just savage shredding and scowling grooves. But you can feel the soldiers struggle as reality and morality disappear, and they ultimately embrace the dark lord. It’s heavy. “We normally bullshit about a goofy concept — usually the plot from a crappy B-movie — and take it from there,” Demian says. “We just start jamming, and we never take ourselves too seriously.” He pauses, and then corrects himself. “Well, actually, we do take the riffing very seriously.” (

Just savage shredding and scowling grooves.

✚ Tue., May 28, 8 p.m., $12-$14, with Weedeater, Fight Amp and Old Wounds, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919,

the naked city | feature

[ harvesting wild charm ] ³ folk

In retrospect, Liberace’s greatest performance was convincing the public that a rhinestone-encrusted showbiz pianist was heterosexual, but Sincerely Yours, newly out from Warner Archive, finds him playing a more explicit, if less fascinating, role as a piano virtuoso who discovers he’s going deaf. It’s mostly a curiosity, but the piano performances are, unsurprisingly, engrossing, and it’s a fascinating counterpart to the upcoming Beyond the Candelabra, which airs on HBO this weekend. —Sam Adams

Bright Sunny South (Nonesuch) is Sam Amidon’s fourth album of artful folk revisionism, full of starkly evocative recastings of mostly traditional, public-domain material — shape-note hymns, British and American folk songs — plus smuggled-in Tim McGraw and Mariah Carey covers. Despite the title, it’s generally bleak stuff, time-worn meditations on a “short life of trouble” given new breath through Amidon’s captivatingly plain, unaffected singing and sparse, thoughtful, occasionally —K. Ross Hoffman volatile arrangements.

³ rock/pop Since The National’s Matt Berninger sees melancholy as high romanticism, he’s as likely to buoy you up as bum you out. And when he doesn’t write banalities like “Fireproof,” he can leave you in wonder: “I am secretly in love with/ Everyone that I grew up with.” On Trouble Will Find Me (4AD), Bryan Devendorf’s drums reprise their role as dexterous counterpoise and the Dessners meld horns, strings, keys and guitars as tunefully as ever. But what’s the downside to finding a good groove? Stay long enough and it’s a rut. —Dotun Akintoye



³ experimental Baltimore-based delay-pedal virtuoso Dustin Wong and Tokyo’s quirk-pop kewpie-doll Takako Minekawa are a couple of lonesome, loopy dreamers, and it’s little surprise that their on-record rendezvous, Tropical Circle (Plancha), is a delightfully fantastical sound world unto itself. Those who’ve missed Minekawa’s breathy, girlish coo — this is her first music since circa 2000 — know to expect some nurseryrhyme-grade cutesiness, but any whiff of pennywhistle preciousness is counterbalanced by a more inviting aura of gentleness, curiosity and wonder that pervades the duo’s wispy ambient daydreams and exquisitely odd noise-baubles. —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

FRANCES HA [ B+ ] AN INTENTIONALLY DIRECTIONLESS exploration of post-collegiate ennui, espec-

³ PEEDI CRAKK HAS BEEN quiet the last

couple years. The once-everywhere Philly MC was in State Property, a guest on Roots albums and a signed artist with Def Jam back when Jay-Z was the label’s boss. “But the hip-hop business changed and changed quickly, so I went on hiatus,” he says. Peedi (aka Pedro Zayas) alludes to troubles with Hova that put him at odds with Def Jam, and says he needed a breather to plot his next move. “All the work that I put in, all that time in the limelight, I wanted to keep my credibility without tarnishing it due to bad decisions,” he says, on the phone in the bathroom (“best sound in the house”) of Sigma Sound Studios, where he’s recording new tracks. “Plus, I got spoiled being treated like a rock star. When that was no longer available, the vibe wasn’t there. Suddenly, things were low budget.” Peedi took a break to study hip-hop’s new game of independent production, promotions and releases. Starting with this weekend’s show and the upcoming release of Crakk Files 5: The Cocaine Edition, Peedi promises to be loud as hell. “The changes I’ve made musically come from personal growth,” he says. “I’m not the kid who got signed after winning rap battles in high school or wilding out with State Property.” The main thing that’s changed in his newest material is his attitude. New songs such as “Go Pedro” and “This That Shit” (with Redman) are aggressive, precise and about craft above all else. With that, this weekend’s TLA show isn’t just his biggest solo gig, it’s his homecoming. “It is a welcome back kickoff show,” says Peedi. “You’re going to hear the classics like ‘Gotta Have It’ and my Ne-Yo joint ‘Stay with Me,’ but I’ll sneak in some of the new stuff too.” (


✚ Sat., May 25, 9 p.m., $12-$16, with Black Deniro, Chase Allen, Teff and Mz Lynx, TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011,

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ially one set in New York City and shot in soaked-thru Manhattan black-and-white, sounds like the worst environment for harvesting wild charm. And yet that’s the strongest suit of Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig’s Frances Ha. Marrying the tics of a mumblecore pocket sketch with a mislaid hope for fulfillment, Frances (Gerwig), whiling away her feckless late 20s in Brooklyn, lives less for the day than for the hour. In between sipping tea, breezing through parties and drunkenly snuggling with roommate Sophie (Mickey Sumner), she’s an apprentice at a dance company. Unwilling to abandon her bubble, she dumps boyfriend Dan (Michael Esper) after he asks her to move in with him — not counting on Sophie surprising her with news that she’s leaving their roost for bigger, better digs in Tribeca. Aside from the immediate strain on the relationship, the change kicks off a feature-length poke-around for Frances as she tries to figure out what, and who, the hell she’s supposed to be. The nonexistent “plight” of the overeducated and underemployed, especially in the hands of a director as self-contained as Baumbach, is an insufferable-on-paper topic with the potential to increase post-screening violence against pedestrians in skinny jeans. That’s why Gerwig deserves so much credit for making Frances relatable to anyone who suddenly realizes they’re being forced to grow up. She’s witty but naive, comfortable in her own skin but flummoxed by the prospect of living in it. She congratulates herself on asking her boss for more hours, even though her request is denied; when her debit card is rejected at a restaurant, she sheepishly admits “I’m not a real person yet” to her date. The aimless rush to become one, and all the accidental discoveries that happen along the way, is at the heart of Frances Ha, and it’s the most hopeful Baumbach has seemed in years. —Drew Lazor

She lives less for the day than for the hour.

GROWING PAINS: In Noah Baumbach’s latest film, whimsical and rudderless dancer Frances (Greta Gerwig) is forced to confront adulthood.

By A.D. Amorosi

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shelflife Under the covers with Justin Bauer

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LOG ON TO WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN FOR ENTRY DETAILS. THIS FILM IS RATED R. RESTRICTED. Under 17 Requires Accompanying Parent Or Adult Guardian. Please note: Passes are limited and will be distributed on a first come, first served basis while supplies last. No phone calls, please. Limit one pass per person. Each pass admits two. Seating is not guaranteed. Arrive early. This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio or video recording device into the theater. Any attempted use of recording devices will result in immediate removal from the theater, forfeiture, and may subject you to criminal and civil liability.

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[ arts & entertainment ]

³ YOU CAN GET a lot of mileage out of breaking established rules. And the more rigid the rules, the bigger the impact. Think about, say, the glittering, sensitive, vegetarian vampires of the Pacific Northwest, or the first shot of the fast-moving zombies in 28 Days Later — monsters that are just as surprising for how little they stick to stereotype as for their actions. But making up a fast zombie is just a matter of mechanics, and mechanics are easy enough to master. Genre fiction — horror especially — has gone through a little renaissance, with supernatural stories driving YA fiction on one hand and attracting highbrow literary-fiction types on the other. Which should make Benjamin Percy’s foray into the supernatural unremarkable, but his Red Moon (May 7, Grand Central) does more than tinker with werewolf mechanics. It displays a willingness to embellish, disregard and even invert genre rules: a baroque approach to the monster story. Percy does this by building an armature of political commentary around the star-crossed teenaged lovers — one a werewolf, one not — at the center of his plot. Percy, for the most part, is able to sidestep the usual red-in-tooth-and-claw clichés that dog these stories; instead, his concerns range to discrimination, xenophobia and domestic terrorism in an America where infected “lycans” are treated as second-class citizens, ghettoized and drugged. He throws off funhouse-mirror reflections of recent history, like the protest “in New York, in Central Park, near the zoo, [where] one hundred people have set up a tent city,” most of them “twentysomethings with ratty beards and wool caps and army surplus backpacks.” There are flashes of the civil-rights struggle, of domestic terrorism, of environmental catastrophe — all things that beg to be called allegory, even if they’re flattened into a single, simplified dichotomy by the supernatural plot. Perhaps a better example of this baroque monster story is Bennett Sims’ A Questionable Shape (May 21, Two Dollar Radio). It’s a zombie novel, but one where the undead are only glimpsed from a distance, and usually alone; Sims is similarly unconcerned with the critiques of consumerism coded into

his genre. Instead, his characters tell us things about art history, or how footnotes are “the typographic mark most emblematic of undeath,” digging a grave and creating an underworld in the text, repressing into the unconscious only to return as infection. Sims’ footnotes and speculations occur in the aftermath of a viral outbreak, in an isolated but slowly recovering Baton Rouge, over the final week of best friends Vermaelen and Mazoch’s search for Mazoch’s infected father. Measured against the ambitious, apocalyptic scope of Red Moon, A Questionable Shape is weirdly realistic, with its semi-functional bureaucracy, yearning for normalcy and containment of the unimaginable. Both Percy’s and Sims’ characters have glimpsed the end of the world. Percy’s wolves see the catastrophe as absolute: “You know what I look for now?” asks one wolf. “Movement. My eyes are always hunting for movement. For

Protests for werewolf rights. animal life. All those things I used to care about no longer matter. What matters is hunger. Appetite. In this way I have become what I behold. Don’t call me human.” Vermaelen’s anxieties are different: “I haven’t read Kant, or anyone else for that matter, since that first week of panicked news reports,” he complains. His fear is not starvation, but hopelessness: he is worried about becoming Mr. Bemis, the guy with the shattered glasses at the end of a Twilight Zone episode. And the result of that different pitch of anxiety is a curiously inert zombie novel — but one that is relatable and familiar, especially as we weather all the successive shocks and promises of apocalypse, from 9/11 to Katrina to Fukushima, and respond by becoming ever more numbed and complacent in the face of catastrophe. (

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The Hangover Part III


FAST & FURIOUS 6 | B The rare blockbuster franchise to actually pay attention to what interests its audience, the Fast & Furious movies have sustained their popularity with an easy-breezy mix of simple, familiar characters, gleefully over-the-top action and a crowd-pleasing team dynamic that places the respon-


FRANCES HA Read Drew Lazor’s review on p. 55. (Ritz Five)

THE HANGOVER PART III | D Most sequels repeat their predecessors with diminishing returns, but The Hangover 3 tries a different tack, dumping the fill-in-the-blanks structure for straightforward comic action. Unfortunately, the impetus behind the change has less to do with a push for novelty than simple franchise fatigue. The onscreen disaffection of Bradley Cooper and





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A proud throwback to the days when a vaudeville magician could earn a living with a few superlatively crafted minutes, Ricky Jay is the master of a discipline he created: trickster, archivist, showman and raconteur rolled into one. If he did not exist, David Mamet would have had to invent him. Mamet, who cast Jay in movies like the card-centric House of Games, also directed Jay’s stage show Ricky Jay and His 52 Assistants, whose astonishing sleights of hand form a thread running through Deceptive Practice’s mixture of professional autobiography and living history. The grandson of an accomplished amateur magician, Jay was doing tricks at 4, performing in public by 7, on national TV by 15, thriving as a practitioner of an art that rarely enters the culture except as the butt of a joke. Jay waxes eloquent on his chosen role models, all-but-forgotten legends with names like Cardini and Slydini and Al Flosso; he’s a joy to listen to as well as watch, as if a screenwriter just off-camera is perpetually feeding him tasty lines on the fly. Directors Molly Bernstein and Alan Edelstein respect Jay’s circumspection on such touchy subjects as his relationship with his parents — he has none by choice — but then they doubtless had little choice. Part of the magician’s art, and there is none finer at it, is getting you to look where he wants, and not where he doesn’t. —Sam Adams (Ritz at the Bourse)

sibility in the hands of humans in lieu of CGI-addicted superheroes. For the series’ sixth installment, Justin Lin has successfully taken the brand from its import-tuner roots to the realm of light international espionage, resulting in two hours of good, clean, kernel-crunching fun. Retired to a extradition-free seaside villa and living off the spoils of Fast Five’s Brazilian job, Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) have become reluctant family men — Brian’s just had a kid with Dom’s sister, Mia (Jordana Brewster), but neither racer feels quite right about the quiet life. Soon, scenery-gnawing DSS agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) shows up with a proposition — full pardons for the entire group if they assist in taking down Owen Shaw (Luke Evans), a mercenary who’s knocking off military convoys to build (what else?) a powerful doomsday device. The tough-talking carrot on a stick: Shaw’s employing Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), Dom’s former lover, long believed to be dead. Plenty of high-end rubber’s burned across Europe en route to the showdown with Shaw, but it’s the corny-but-enjoyable interplay of the crew, particularly the chops-busting between Roman (Tyrese Gibson) and Tej (Ludacris), that makes this summertime junk food go down easy. —Drew Lazor (Wide release)

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Ed Helms reeks of paychecks already spent, leaving Zack Galifianakis to fill the void with schtick that works better around the margins. Ken Jeong reprises his role as a lunatic criminal with the bare minimum of effort; even his accent seems halfhearted. Director Todd Philips would plainly rather be making a straight-up action movie, shooting the wolf pack’s foray into Tijuana as if he’s William Friedkin and going long stretches without so much as attempting a joke — which, given how flatly the ones he tries land, is just as well. On the one hand, it’s sad to see erstwhile ’packer Justin Bartha taken out of the mix (and, presumably, profit participation) early in the film, held hostage by John Goodman’s gangster to force the movie’s stars to do his dirty work. But Bartha turns out to have a pretty sweet deal: At least he gets to skip most of this joyless, pointless movie. —SA (Wide release)


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Whether in her native Denmark or in America, Susanne Bier has a tendency to strike an uneasy balance between pungent melodrama, intimate character study and pedantic oneworld preachiness. What makes her films both impossible to embrace and impossible to dismiss is the fact that it’s so hard to predict from one film or even one moment to the next which of these tendencies will be positives and which will be negatives. Love Is All You Need marks her deepest plunge into the middlebrow, an unashamedly predictable variation on the hoary trope of a middle-aged woman find-

tion, Bier and longtime co-screenwriter Anders Thomas Jensen take numerous detours, diverted by the cloud of mortality hanging over Ida’s breast cancer diagnosis or the messy complications of family relations. The film’s darker tendencies never manage to conceal its contrivances, but they do add an interestingly bitter tinge to the saccharine flavor. —Shaun Brady (Ritz Five)

✚ CONTINUING AT ANY PRICE | C+ As bold an attempt at rewriting American myth as The Place Beyond the Pines, Ramin Bahrani’s broadly drawn fable is also a substantially more foolhardy one. Bahrani’s departure from the neorealist style of Man Push Cart, Chop Shop and Goodbye Solo is emphatic, even audacious, replacing his customary nonactors with Dennis Quaid and Zac Efron, whose father-son conflict plays out against the shifting landscape of the Plains states. Henry Whipple (Quaid) is a farmer and seed salesman struggling to get ahead in agribusiness and Dean (Efron) is his prodigal son, intent on abandoning the family business for a shot at NASCAR. They’re cocky and ruthless, willing to do anything for their piece of the dream, but their ambition isn’t matched by their cunning, and the odds are against them. As sketched by Bahrani and co-writer Hallie Elizabeth Newton, this is a world where striving is not enough; everyone takes shortcuts, but only some are clever enough not to get caught, or have the power to avoid the consequences when they do. Bahrani manages the story’s epic sweep and primary colors reasonably well, but his inexperience with professional actors shows in the scattershot performances. —SA (Ritz at the Bourse)


ing love in the sun-drenched Italian countryside. The basic arc is set in stone from the introduction of the two leads: Ida (Trine Dyrholm) blithely dismisses her doctor’s suggestion that her husband may be conflicted by her recent mastectomy, while Philip (Pierce Brosnan) eats breakfast alone in his sterile, severely modern condo. Revealing that he’ll expose her to life’s possibilities while she unfreezes his cold heart is hardly worthy of a spoiler alert; the couple meet-cute in a fender-bender before flying off to see their children marry each other in a Mediterranean villa as “That’s Amore” plays incessantly and unironically in the background. Still, while the story heads directly to its obvious destina-

If you’re one to chide Baz Luhrmann for overkill, then you probably also finger-wag frogs for being amphibious. Excess is simply hard-coded into the remarkably unsubtle Aussie’s DNA. The Great Gatsby is not his best, but it’s difficult to imagine a contemporary director better suited to take on such a volatile challenge. Tobey Maguire, as F. Scott Fitzgerald stand-in Nick Carraway, brings a clean-shaven calm to his narrator role.Then there’s Mr. Jay Gatsby himself (Leonardo DiCaprio), introduced at one of his famous blowouts with fireworks bursting on every side of his gleaming, tuxedoframed grin. The more Nick gets to know Gatsby, the more he realizes his limitless West Egg neighbor is stuck on one thing his new money can’t buy: the unhappily married Daisy (Carey Mulligan).The movie’s long and sometimes long-winded, and its glitz has obvious

effects on the novel’s allegorical value. But anyone upset with Gatsby over its lavish come-ons should remember that Gatsby himself relates to the world the same way. —DL (Wide release)

IRON MAN 3 | C An action-flick outlier with a knack for smartassery, Shane Black seems like an ideal successor to Iron Man constant Jon Favreau, but the proceedings are excessive. Sure, it’s a little shortsighted to chide an Iron Man movie for bombast, but Black, working off a script he also co-wrote, detonates so many unbelieva-bombs that any semblance of decorum is shredded. While most of our heroes suffer from some form of PTSD, Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) might be the only one who gets legit panic attacks — he’s knotted up from The Avengers, of course, and it’s affecting his relationship with the exasperated Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow). Things take a crappier turn once cunning Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), Stark’s greatest nemesis in the comics, begins broadcasting terroristic messages on national TV. There are some striking SFX at work here, and Black does well keeping Stark’s motives congruous with past installments. It’s just that this is the super-sequel equivalent of ordering a single shot and receiving a quintuple. —DL (Wide release)

dutifully hawks copies of Communist newspapers as his classmates file out for the day, Gilles (Clement Metayer) is only a few years too young to have been part of the student revolts of 1968, which were so world-shaking they became known as simply “the Events.” But the knowledge that he just missed the defining act of a generation hangs over him always. Director Olivier Assayas is plainly drawing on his own experience, dwelling on redolent details like the contents of his protagonist’s

[ movie shorts ]

215-440-1181, landmarktheatres. com. V/H/S/2 (2013, U.S., 96 min.): The sequel to last year’s found-footage horror anthology. Unassuming folks just can’t stop stumbling across these tapes. Thu., May 23, 8 p.m., $12. For all Awesome Fest screenings, check


record collection; the camera peers over his shoulder as he flips through his LPs like a nosy younger sibling. In a sense, little happens to him, but you can feel the novel experiences being filed away for future reference: his first heartbreak, courtesy of girlfriend Lola Créton, or his recurring encounters with a free-spirited American (India Salvor Menuez) who schools him in protest songs. The film likewise works with a light touch, but it leaves a surprisingly lasting mark. —SA (Ritz at the Bourse)

KON-TIKI | C+ Thor Heyerdahl’s 1947 expedition across the Pacific on a balsa-wood raft never quite settled the point he set out to make — that South American voyagers settled the Polynesian islands — but it did motivate a generation of young dreamers to embark on improbable adventures. Having already told the story of WWII resistance fighter Max Manus, directors Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg turn their attention to this most famous of Norwegian heroes. Pål Sverre Hagen plays Heyerdahl with blond, hands-on-hips determination, but the filmmakers are as impatient to get to sea as any young boy with a toy raft..The logs of the handmade craft threaten to pull apart, sharks circle, fear causes the crew to make some risky errors. But none of it ever carries any real feeling of danger. The filmmakers seem as calmed by the lapping waves as Heyerdahl himself, and even they appear unconvinced by the obligatory presence of the clumsy coward or the reckless cameraman. That these stock caricatures apparently bear little relation to the real-life characters is hardly as troubling as the fact that the actors’ less-than-exhilarating actions lend nothing to the leisurely pace. —SB (Ritz Five)

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS | BStar Trek Into Darkness is a disappointment but not an unwatchable one. The movie contains a few shout-outs to longtime fans — look, a Tribble! — and the requisite quantity of witty banter, which Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto do an admirable job of batting back and forth as Captain Kirk and Commander Spock. The film’s supporting cast are good for a few laughs too, although Dr. McCoy (Karl Urban) descends into cringe-worthy cheesiness more often than not. But Into Darkness relies too heavily on slick action sequences and not enough on its excellent actors, including Benedict Cumberbatch, who just glowers his way through the film.As the lead bad guy, he simply isn’t given enough to do, or any space to demonstrate his considerable charisma. And because Cumberbatch’s few lines have largely been included in the trailers, they feel stale. Cumberbatch’s Khan could have been a great villain, but the film wastes the actor’s talent. —Jake Blumgart (Wide release)



A suburban high school student who

Ritz at the Bourse, 400 Ranstead St.,

824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, Le Grand Amour (1969, France, 87 min.): Factory worker Pierre starts dreaming big when a young secretary catches his eye. Oscar-winning short Happy Anniversary will screen prior. Tue., May 28, 7 p.m., $10.50.

PHILAMOCA 531 N. 12th St., 267-519-9651, Adjust Your Tracking (2013, U.S., 84 min.): This doc examines today’s VHS-collecting subculture, with interviews from collectors, video store owners and filmmakers. The screening includes a prize raffle, a Q&A with the directors and doubles as a release party for VHS mag Lunchmeat. Sat., May 25, 8 p.m., $10.

RITZ AT THE BOURSE 400 Ranstead St., 215-440-1181, Drag Me to Hell (2009, U.S., 99 min.): Spider-Man 3 should have borrowed the title of Sam Raimi’s horror flick. Fri., May 24, midnight, $10.

SCRIBE VIDEO CENTER 4212 Chestnut St., third floor, 215-2224201, Pariah (2011, U.S., 87 min.): A Brooklyn teenager struggles to reconcile her sexual identity in this Sundance Award winner. Fri., May 24, 7 p.m., $5.

TROCADERO THEATRE 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. The Big Lebowski (1998, U.S., 117 min.): The dude still abides. Tue., May 28, 8 p.m., $3.

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[ stare at your navel like some kind of monk ]

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TOUCH ME I’M SLICK: Beacon plays Kung Fu Necktie tonight. PHILLISTINE DSGN

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:


5.23 [ comedy ]


Thu., May 23, 8 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., May 2425, 7:30 and 10 p.m., $16-$33, Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St., 215496-9001,

[ pop/electronic ]

✚ BEACON The Ways We Separate (Ghostly International), the eminently elegant debut full-length

sters like Rhye and Inc. —K. Ross Hoffman Thu., May 23, 8 p.m., $8-$10, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-2914919,


5.24 [ rock/pop ]

✚ PACIFICUV During pacificUV’s extended sojourn in the Pacific Northwest, albums were sporadic and women were spectral presences who’d coo for a song or two and then vanish into the night. But things have changed since frontman Clay Jordan steered the shape-shifting space-rockers back to Athens, Ga., where the band was born 15 years and who-knows-how-many lineups ago. With the addition of singer-lyricist Laura Solomon

for After the Dream You Are Awake (Mazarine), pacificUV’s second full-length in 16 months, Jordan and co. seem newly invigorated by decipherable lyrics and traditional pop structures. Solomon takes (or shares) the lead on four of the album’s nine tracks, including “Wolves Again,” a bracing take on street harassment, and “Russians,” a half-whispered paranoid fantasy. But her influence is just as clear on “Christine,” which finds the even-keeled Jordan trying on a persona for once — and sounding delectably creepy. —M.J. Fine Fri., May 24, 9 p.m., $5, Ortlieb’s Lounge, 847 N. Third St., 267-3243348,

[ rock/pop ]

✚ ARRAH & THE FERNS If a record release is cause for celebration and a farewell show is by definition bittersweet, get ready for a wave of mixed emotions as Arrah & the

Ferns put Make Your Mind out into the world and then split. Given that this isn’t the band’s first breakup — frontwoman Arrah Fisher didn’t even move to Philly until after the Ferns’ original lineup called it quits — it’s unlikely we’ve heard the last of them. A headlining gig earlier this month at the Art Star Craft Bazaar showed their chemistry and chops remain solid, and the new tunes sounded great. But with guitarist Ryan Belski bound for Montana and Fisher headed for parts unknown, it may be a while before we’re all together again. Dance, cry, hug, repeat. —M.J. Fine Fri., May 24, 8 p.m., $7-$10, with Pretty & Nice, Andrew Cedermark and Jackie Paper, PhilaMOCA, 541 N. 12th St., 267-519-9651,

[ rock/metal ]

✚ BARONESS “The storyline … can very quickly get into ‘that band that was in a bus crash,’” admits


If you don’t recognize Pete Holmes from his appearances on the late-night television circuit or VH1’s Best Week Ever, you certainly know his voice from those creepy E*Trade commercials. (Nope, that’s not the baby’s

—Sameer Rao

from Brooklyn electro-pop duo Beacon, is available on vinyl, CD, digital download, blah blah blah. Or, if you prefer, you can buy it in the form of a 10-pound, 13-inch-square box made entirely out of sugar. (It’s allegedly 100 percent archival, which has gotta involve some seriously potent epoxy action.) There are probably some deep, heady metaphors to be gleaned there regarding the interrelationship of substance and superficiality, beauty and artifice, decadent sweetness and icy inaccessibility — all of which are certainly salient aspects of the group’s music. Mostly though (and also very much like the music) it’s just really damn cool. The moody, enveloping warmth of the synthesizers, the flickering Timbaland-via-Junior Boys rhythms and the blurry soft edges of Thomas Mullarney III’s vocals all code as R&B, but there’s also an immaculate, bloodless perfectionism here that separates these guys from fleshier neo-indie-soul-

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Submit information by email ( to Caroline Russock or enter it yourself at with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

real voice.) Somehow, this doesn’t keep him busy enough; Holmes has also lent his voice to Comedy Central’s Ugly Americans and written for NBC’s Outsourced and FOX’s I Hate My Teenage Daughter. An accomplished performer on the highbrow-lowbrow comedy tightrope, Holmes also draws cartoons for The New Yorker. And is currently prepping for his own late-night talk show to debut on TBS this fall. Come to Helium this weekend for a standup show as eclectic and strange as you’d expect from a guy who voices an implicitly drunk stock-trading baby.



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Seven Days a Week. ½ OFF ALL DRAFTS! Kitchen open till 1am every night. Open 5pm-2am 7days a week. CHECK OUT OUR UPSTAIRS: Pool Table, Darts, Video Games! Corner of 10th and Watkins . 1712 South 10th 215-339-0175 .

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Eat or drink anything good this weekend? We want to hear about it!


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Baroness frontman John Baizley in a video announcing their summer tour, adding “and that can be our stigma.” Unfortunately, he’s right. Few people who have seen pictures of the band’s recovery process or read Baizley’s horrific account of their bus careening 30 feet off a viaduct in the U.K. will forget that association. Lines off the epic Yellow and Green (Relapse) like “When my bones begin to break/ and my head begins to shake/ it’s my own blood” take on strange new

[ the agenda ]

snark on “A Bitter Divorce” (“I made a list of everything that I despise/ And wrote your name down/ Several times”). The whole record is a total bummer, but in a good way, and the hooks are contagious. —Marc Snitzer Fri., May 24, 8 p.m., $13, with The Menzingers, Fake Problems and Restorations, First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 215-563-3980,



meaning. Plus, it’s not hard to think of that other metal band whose bus crashed on tour — Baroness, like Metallica in 1986, was touring behind their third and best-received album. But just as Hetfield and co. bounced back aggressively in the Jason Newsted era, so shall Baroness with new members Nick Jost and Sebastian Thomson. With its first full show since the crash, this band is ready to write its comeback story. —Sameer Rao Fri., May 24, 8:30 p.m., $17.50-$20, with Pallbearer and Tombs, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100,

[ rock/pop ]

✚ THE THERMALS After stretching out a bit, relatively, on their last couple records, The Thermals have racheted back to the tightly wound, frill-free immediacy of their blistering early work on their sixth full-length in a decade. Desperate Ground continues the band’s survey of oldguard indie-rock labels — Sub Pop, Kill Rock Stars — with a new home at Saddle Creek. Its scrappy hooks, grit-caked production, breathless tempos and pithy track times (even if half of the numbers nudge closer to three minutes than 2:30, which

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[ punk ]

✚ CAPTAIN, WE’RE SINKING The Future Is Cancelled (Run for Cover), the new album by Scranton’s Captain, We’re Sinking, lives up to its doomed title. The tone is desperate and restless, a trait we’ve come to expect from a certain kind of punk band known to emerge from the weirder pockets of Pennsylvania. (See: their Scranton contemporaries Tigers Jaw, a decade’s worth of Pittsburgh-area Vocal Youth-associated groups, etc.) Vocalist Bobby Barnett peppers Future’s 12 tracks with self-effacing humor, rhyming “drinking steadily” with “drinking heavily” on the stop-and-start “Brother,” and alluding to early Brand New’s

with these guys practically qualifies as bloat) all signal a triumphant resurgence and/or comfort-zone retreat for the Portland indie-punk fixtures — either way, a move worthy of some fervent fist-pumping. The album’s loosely conceptual lyrical approach, meanwhile, takes a less comfortable, nontriumphant tack on familiarly psycho-political themes: It’s a song cycle sung from the perspective of a nightmare-wracked but unrepentant bloodthirsty killer. The details are sketchy

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askpapa By Ernest Hemingway

E VA N M . L O P E Z

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³ WORK CURES ALL Dear Papa: I’m standing on the precipice of my 30s and I’m about to embark on a career change. I know in my heart that I’m doing the right thing, but there are moments when I worry that I’ve waited too long and that I’m about to open up a huge chasm between my friends and myself. Should I stay with the herd, or should I blaze my own trail?—Out in the Field in Olney Dear Olney: My God! What sort of man could you possibly be? At 30 you are afraid to cast off? At 17 I was driving an ambulance through a war zone and you, nearly twice that age, need help deciding between an accounting job and barista work? Or — I see. Scott, you old dog. The movie! Of course it’s trash. The book was good enough, but could you rest on your laurels any longer? Or on my laurels, for that matter? Yes, please, become an accountant. At least then you will be giving something back to those rich bastards you’ve bled dry for so long. Dear Papa: How do I reconcile my youthful post-grad enthusiasm to the banalities and disappointments of adult life? —Malaise in Malvern Dear Malaise: The joy of youth is supposed to transform into the passion of life, not be shot down into nothingness. Is someone trying to put you down? There is a thing that follows youth — though you are still young, most definitely — but it is not “adult life.” It is just life with the power to make your own decisions, move to new places, not stare at your navel like some kind of monk. And the sadnesses you cannot avoid must turn into triumphs. Go talk to Stein. I’m sure she’ll have something to say on the matter. (

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Writer Alli Katz communicates with the late Mr. Hemingway via Ouija board. Email her your questions for him and you may find them answered in this monthly column.

(is he psychotic? Ex-military? Both?) but the passion and pain are unmistakable, particularly as punctuated by the urgency of Hutch Harris’ terse, adenoidal yelp.

recently opened for the season and they’ve got an impressive lineup of DJs this summer, with this night definitely being one of the early highlights. —Gair “Dev79” Marking

—K. Ross Hoffman Sat., May 25, 8:30 p.m., $15, with Hop Along and Cayetana, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-2322100,

[ dj nights ]

✚ SINDEN Brit bass bastion Graeme Sinden hops the pond and lands riverside. The world-renowned DJ, remixer and producer has dropped numerous releases on labels like Dubsided, Ministry of Sound and Mad Decent (not to mention his own imprint, Grizzly). Sinden weaves between bassline house and club rap, always keeping things bouncy and edgy at the same time. Morgan’s Pier

Sat., May 25, 10 p.m., $5, Morgan’s Pier, 221 N. Columbus Blvd., 215-2797134,


5.29 [ folk/hip-hop ]

✚ THE UNCLUDED The Uncluded is the long-inthe-works superhero teamup of Aesop Rock and Kimya Dawson, two artists who seem like weirdos even within their respective established genres (hip-hop and indie-

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NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Supplies limited. One pass per person. Each pass admits two. Must be 18 to enter. Seating is available on a first-come, first-served basis and not guaranteed. Employees of promotional partners are ineligible. All decisions are final. This film is rated PG-13.


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the forbiddingly cryptic Aesop would supply the titular “fright” while cutesy, chummy Kimya brings all the “hokey,” but it’s not such a straightforward equation: Her squeaky sing-song can be deceptively simplistic, and the geekily oblique verbosity often obscures its considerable playfulness. If they only rarely sync up in any conventional sense, they illuminate and play off one another beautifully, making each one’s idiosyncrasies all the more compelling.

the agenda


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folk), making the collaborative Hokey Fright (Rhymesayers) a thoroughly improbable, head-scratching proposition. On paper, at least. Once you hear it, the pair’s underlying commonalities are obvious: both are writers, first and foremost (and musicians only secondarily), who use a mixture of wit, absurdist humor and kid-like logic — including gleefully unflinching riffs

—K. Ross Hoffman

on fleshly and grotesque (or just plain old gross) concerns — along with a penchant for refreshingly specific topicality (subjects explored here include laundromats, organ donation, fear of flying, sandwiches, aquarium ecosystems and pubescent sexual confusion) to get at unexpectedly universal, if sometimes uncomfortable, truths. You might imagine

Wed., May 29, 8 p.m., $18-$20, with Hamell On Trial, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400,


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Sat, May 25th 10pm Raunchy DJ Party - Free Mon, May 27th 8:30pm PBR Rock Paper Scissors Tournament Tues, May 28th 10pm Family Spin - Free Sat, June 1st 9pm donations @ door The Binary Sea, The Delaware Riviera, 2blk2wht




LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHE’S Vegan Burritos, Wraps and Salads Delivered Fresh Daily! Happy Hour Mon-Fri 5-7pm Open Mic Every Wednesday @ 8:30pm Beer of the Month Abita Purple Haze booking: contact jasper

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OPEN EVERY DAY – 11 AM 1356 NORTH FRONT ST. 215-634-6430

THURSDAY 5.23 STUNTLOCO DJ SYLO & COOL HAND LUKE ----------------------------------------FRIDAY 5.24 MIGHTY#BOOM BOOM BAP DJS

----------------------------------------SATURDAY 5.25 DJ DEEJAY ----------------------------------------SUNDAY 5.26 STUNTLOCO MEMORIAL DAY COOKOUT!

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DJ UNIQUE ----------------------------------------TUESDAY 5.28 THE GRIND DJ SEXY CINNAMON GABE GUERRERO

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HOSTED BY BEANO 5th & Spring Garden






Show Us Your Philly. Submit snapshots of the City of Brotherly Love, however you see it, at: photostream


portioncontrol By Carolyn Wyman




Nostalgic for the school-cafeteria staple.

HOLLOWED GROUND: Bar hits and kitchen misses at Mount Airy’s Goat Hollow. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

HOLLOW CHEST Beneath a handsome renovation, Goat Hollow is dead inside. By Adam Erace GOAT HOLLOW | 300 W. Mount Pleasant Ave., 267-428-5672, goat- Hours: Mon.-Fri., 11:30 a.m.-2 a.m., Sat.-Sun., 10:30 a.m.2 a.m; brunch, Sat.-Sun., 10:30 a.m.-3 p.m. Appetizers, $6-$12; entrees $10-$21; desserts $6.


ot “dead” in the empty-dining-room sense. Visit this recently revived brasserie on the weekend, and you’ll learn why a shelf beneath the host stand is stacked with Scrabble and Scattergories. You’ll need the board games to entertain yourself if you More on: didn’t have the foresight to make a reservation before pulling up to Goat Hollow’s handsome Mount Airy address, on a street lined with mature trees and enviable front porches. In the four months since Goat Hollow has opened, it appears the local crowd has planted its flag and claimed it as the neighborhood’s cool new clubhouse. Or reclaimed. This isn’t Mount Airy’s first affair with Goat Hollow; the original ran nearly 20 years at this location before abdicating in 2004 to a series of forgettable successors. The current resurrection comes from Neil Campbell, who owns Race Street Cafe in Old City, and Andy Shahan, both locals who might consider moonlighting as interior designers. Wired with exposed-filament

bulbs, the Hollow glows like a Gold Rush saloon, flattering amber light diffused through sheer drum shades and antlery wood clusters dangling from the rafters. Tables tuck into quirky bays. Firewood smolders in a coal-black Victorian oven so convincing you expect Mrs. Patmore to toddle up from the basement to slide in a steak-and-kidney pie. Behind the bar, wood shadow boxes display cult vermouths, trendy amaros and other postmodern speakeasy props on a wall of whitewashed exposed brick; a bartender plucked a bottle of XXX Shine white whiskey for my mellow Allen’s Sour; it’s shaken with egg white and house sour mix finessed with orange-blossom water. Many of the cocktails had attention-grabbing components — like the herbed syrup in the summery Meadowsweet or the sage liqueur in the Sage Wisdom — that made me long for more time at the bar. Tinted purple with a float of creme de vioMORE FOOD AND lette, the Stratosphere Over Spain sounds DRINK COVERAGE like the best thing to happen to sparkling AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / wine since the Bellini. Meanwhile, nearby M E A LT I C K E T. blackboards entice beer geeks with imperial pilsners from Heavy Seas, cherry-blossom lagers from Old Dominion and Russian stouts from Weyerbacher. You could dock Goat Hollow’s booze program some points for drinks like the Germantown Juice, a confection of flavored vodkas, orange liqueur and lime juice that sounds like something served in a fishbowl at TGI Friday’s. But despite this (and with apologies to nearby Earth, Bread + Brewery), their bar may be the best place to drink in Northwest Philly. But to eat … That’s where “dead inside” comes home. Adam >>> continued on page 70

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³ “OUR FACULTY... are recognized as some of the most esteemed thought-leaders in their industries,” boasts the slogan above Julie Crist’s listing on Temple’s Fox School of Business web site. And as the owner of one of only two tater-tot food trucks in America, Crist is indisputably a thoughtleader on tater tots. Among her thoughts: ShopRite’s house tots are better than tot-inventor Ore-Ida’s, and every other brand available in Greater Philly. “When you deepfry Ore-Ida, the middle kind of disappears, where ShopRite’s are really potato-y,” says the Drexel LeBow business-school grad. Crist also thinks Cris P. Tater is a great name for her Tot Cart’s cartoon “mas-tot,” while her flavor experiments into cinnamon-sugar and pickle tots are best forgotten. Though launched mid-March on the Temple campus as a Saturday-only sideline to Crist’s day job as associate director of Fox’s M.B.A. programs for business professionals, her Tot Cart has been so successful that Crist recently took on a partner to expand venues and hours (including to the new PHAIR market this Saturday). Crist, 32, of Port Richmond loves tater tots the way most people love ice cream. About six years ago, she bought a deep fryer and began tossing hot tots in seasonings (Old Bay, garlic, taco) and covering them in sauces (cheese, sour cream, hot) for her friends — and they still liked her! In fact, she says, “People would ask me to make them,” thus giving her the idea that she was not the only person nostalgic for the school-cafeteria staple. The food-cart model was cheaper but not necessarily easier than her original idea for a college-town tater-tots restaurant. Two-and-a-half years of modifications and approvals for the old cheesesteak truck she bought turned some ardent supporters into doubters. Others questioned her all-tots concept. Even she admits to thinking, “If people didn’t like tater tots, I was gonna be screwed.” The thrill of finally opening to more media coverage than Prince Harry got for Sandy-ravaged boardwalk French-fry stands was tempered by a week-three cart flipover accident and fryer oil spill that closed a Betsy Ross Bridge exit and demolished her cart’s soda cooler box. But like a tater tot thrown in hot oil, the Tot Cart quickly popped back up. (

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<<< continued from page 69



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Glickman, formerly of Mount Airy and Jose Pistolaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, has authored a rote menu of mussels, fried chicken, burgers, bread pudding and other usual pub suspects. My choices from his collection inspired neither love nor hate, but an altogether worse kind of resigned apathy that made my well-meaning serverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s proclamations â&#x20AC;&#x201D; â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to eat good tonight!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; seem comically deluded in retrospect. Dumplings plumped with pickled pork belly sounded promising, and Glickman indeed pickles the meat before braising it in the pickling liquid to underscore the sour note that rockets through the stuffing of pork, daikon, cabbage and shiitake. But theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re made in big batches and frozen ahead of time, seared on each side to order then steamed, a process thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s torture on the pot stickersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; texture. They arrived so thoroughly caramelized it appeared theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d actually stuck to the pot, and yet instead of the tooth-breaker crunch I expected, I got dumplings limp and gummy as members of a nursing-home bridge club. Not helping was the soy-based dipping sauce, so salty I might as well have driven down the Shore to dunk the dumplings in the Atlantic. Surely the mussels would be better, considering Glickman spent nine years steaming moules at Monkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, and the bowl of fat bivalves basking in coconut milk dyed jade by mild house-ground â&#x20AC;&#x153;Greeneâ&#x20AC;? curry paste was better. However, the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Durhamâ&#x20AC;? mussels â&#x20AC;&#x201D; each of the five styles is named for a different Mount Airy street â&#x20AC;&#x201D; drew little flavor from their broth: a Caprese-salad soup of white wine, chopped tomatoes, basil and diced mozzarella. Either the cheese had melted into the hot liquid, or a line cook had forgotten to add it. Skinny, crisp frites accompany, as does a roll, redundantly. You couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t taste the smoke in the cold-smoked ribeye, perhaps because it spends a scant 10 minutes in the smoker that also produces the aromatic turkey bits that flavor the beefâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s side of legit braised collards. Not that a stronger smoking would have necessarily aided the cut I received, so thin it should have been breaded, fried and topped with marinara and cheese. Splashed with shiny veal demi, the beef was dry, as was the breast in a grilled chicken sandwich whose saving graces came via its â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wissahickonâ&#x20AC;? toppings of truffled sottocenere cheese and duck-liver pate. Laced with honey and cognac, the pate is a favorite of Glickmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 12-year-old daughter, Olivia. Someone of her sophisticated tastes might advise her dad to slip a few leaves of quenching lettuce or sliced ripe tomato between the sandwichâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s semisweet Baker Street brioche bun. Desserts? A clunky apple crisp with a sandy oatmeal crumb. An airy chocolate mousse with a crown of chocolate chips. Housemade but phoned-in. Meanwhile, Sly Fox Black Raspberry Reserve, Lindemans PĂŞche and milk-chocolatey Great Lakes Edmund Fitzgerald porter are on standby, representing artisanship in a way the desserts do not â&#x20AC;&#x201D; just another example of why Goat Hollow, despite its attractive renovation, is a better place to drink than eat. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t call it a comeback. Really. (

whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;scooking By Carly Szkaradnik



My choices from his collection inspired neither love nor hate.


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[ food & drink ]

â&#x153;&#x161; Hollow Chest

Âł THE WEEK IN EATS Mural Arts Young Friends Collective Off-the-Wall Ball Thu., May 23, 8:30 p.m., $40, Alla Spina Âł This

yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wall Ball â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the annual gala and fundraiser for the Mural Arts Program â&#x20AC;&#x201D; is going down tonight at Vie in Fairmount, but the after-party is taking place around the corner at Alla Spina. Nosh on mortadella hot dogs, pretzels with beer cheese, oyster, mushroom trifolati and doughnut bread pudding to a soundtrack provided by DJ SnKpaK. Price of admission also includes two drinks, with all proceeds going to Mural Arts. (Tickets are limited; call the number listed to check on availability before heading over.) 1410 Mt. Vernon St., 215-685-0759, Greensgrow Farms Summer CSA $435 for 13 weeks or $775 for 24 weeks, Greensgrow Farms Âł Today marks the kickoff of Greensgrowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s summer CSA season, but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still time to sign up â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the farm will prorate your share. (With installment plans for payment, the option to split a share with a friend or neighbor, multiple pickup days and locations and both full- and half-shares available, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of the most flexible CSA arrangements weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen.) Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be signing on to keep yourself in local produce from now through November, with each share including a number of seasonal vegetables and fruit, a protein or dairy choice like yogurt or eggs and plenty of other goodies. Local cheeses make an appearance eight times per season, and past shares have included occasional goodies like local pasta or beers like PBCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Harvest from the Hood). 2501 E. Cumberland St., 215-380-4355, March Against Monsanto Sat., May 25, 2 p.m. Âł

As organizers in 36 countries plan concurrent marches on Saturday at 11 a.m. PDT to protest Monsanto and genetically modified organisms in food, the timing is particularly apt. This week, the U.S. Senate takes up the 2013 Farm Bill and will consider an amendment offered by Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-Oregon) that would repeal the Farmer Assurance Provision â&#x20AC;&#x201D; nicknamed the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Monsanto Protection Actâ&#x20AC;? by opponents. March organizers are calling for mandatory GMO labeling, increased transparency and accountability for GMO corporations and repeal of the Farmer Assurance Provision. Gather on Independence Mall around 2 p.m. (

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Make your reservation today. Groups of 6 or more only.


Home of the most exceptional Indian cuisine in Philadelphia.



Dine-in • Take-out • Delivery

Lunch buffet 7 days a week 11:30am - 3:30pm A la carte menu Sun.-Thurs.11:30am to 10:00pm and Fri. & Sat. 11:30am to 11:00pm Full bar • Catering available for all events $20 Early Bird Dinner Special Sun.-Thurs. 3:30-6:30pm appetizer • entrée • glass of wine

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[ food & drink ]

HOW WE DO IT: The restaurants, bars and markets listed in this section rotate every week and are compiled by City Paper editorial staff. If you have suggestions or corrections,email


This Fishtown spot is the follow-up to NoLibs’ A Full Plate Café, which closed late last year. The menu has an unmistakable Southern-comfort motif and seeks to welcome all comers — there’s chicken and waffles and a healthy dose of pork, sure, but with a strong complement of veggie-friendly dishes. The burger menu includes patties of grass-fed beef or kale and white beans, and options only get more inventive from there. Barbecuepulled-portobello stems make an ingenious filling for roasted onions; a cheese plate is composed entirely of housemade vegan selections. The cocktail program offers a kale martini that’s as delicious as it is buzzworthy. 2370 E. Norris St., 215-423-5400,


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If there’s one thing Philly loves, it’s a bar with character. The Dolphin had it in spades, so when it shut down last year, it was rightly and intensely mourned. Now it’s reopened under new management (Four Corners, which counts Union Transfer and Morgan’s Pier among its properties) and, thankfully, the new guys realized they shouldn’t fix what wasn’t broken. Inside, the space is largely the same, with major overhauls only where they really count (i.e., the draft list and the bathrooms). The dancers who made the place what it is are back, and with some help from R5 Productions and Making Time’s Dave P., the DJ nights have become a serious draw in their own right. 1539 S. Broad St., 215-278-7950,


The ownership team behind City Tap House and the Field House has gone in a decidedly different direction for their new Midtown Village spot. The space has been given a luxe makeover with an old-Hollywood feel, courtesy of red banquettes, marble and portraits of the likes of Sophia Loren. The menu, from chef Marc Plessis (XIX), is heavy on seafood and luxury — expect an extensive raw bar and (because, why not?) bone marrow with a bourbon add-on for the lugeinclined. 114 S. 12th St., 267-6395606,


Lansdowne’s newest resident seeks to merge Italian and Jewish deli cultures into one cohesive whole — not always in one dish, though chef Laura Frangiosa’s menu does include Reuben arancini and Jewish wedding soup (that’s meatballs

and matzoh balls). The menu is a bit shorter and healthier than at most delis, but you’ll still find standbys like meatball and chicken-cutlet sandwiches and house-cured pastrami and corned beef. Becca O’Brien (Green Aisle Grocery, Creperie Beau Monde) is in charge of the in-house pickle-and-preserve program. 27 N. Lansdowne Ave., 610-622-3354,


Pre-opening buzz around Noord ran at fever pitch, and not only because its East Passyunk address guaranteed insta-intrigue. Chef-owner Joncarl Lachman was coming home, and bringing with him a cuisine that Philly’s been more or less starved for — Northern European, loosely interpreted but heavily on Scandinavian. Look for the nutmeg-spiked meatballs known as bitterballen, a rotation of smørrebrød (Danish open-faced sandwiches) featuring housesmoked fish and plenty of vinegarsteeped delights. 1046 Tasker St., 267-909-9704,


After a couple of years of wildly buzzy pop ups and plenty of speculation, chef Ben Puchowitz (Matyson) and business partner Shawn Darragh have finally set up shop — and they’ve been playing to a full house pretty much every night. The opening menu covered bases no one could’ve dreamed of (want a side of housemade scrapple with your ramen, or brisket and matzoh balls in chile broth?), and they’ve been busily adding even more surprises. New tastes include fish ribs and barbecue pig tails; keep an eye out for more noodle options being crafted in-house (including gluten-free rice). BYOB pending liquor-license approval. 255 S. 10th St., 267-6394136,


No one’s going to accuse Joe Beddia of rushing to market. He’s been making careful study of pizza for years, and early responses to the American-style pies coming out of his new Fishtown spot suggest that all that homework’s paying off. His thin-crust pies are fired on a gas deck and the concept is the picture of simplicity. The menu is limited to pies with a small handful of optional toppings. You can’t get it by the slice, and there’s not much in the way of seating — but good pizza doesn’t require much adornment. NB: The official closing time is cited as “10:30ish,” so plan accordingly. 115 E. Girard Ave., no phone,

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merchandise market Laptops Net Ready, Wireless From $129 Tablets from $149. Call 610.453.2525

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers, Full Overlay, Incl. Crown, Never Installed! Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 Diabetic Test Strips Needed pay up to $25/box. Most brands. 610-453-2525 Golf club set, left handed $100 Custom made, Call 610.565.6859 MOVING SALE: Furniture, Exercise equip, Crib, Mower, Snowblower 610.459.0609

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Bx spring Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399 610-952-0033 BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Set $145; 5pc Bedrm Set $325 215-355-3878 Bed Pillow top mattress Q$175 K$250 215-752-0911 Can deliver


$99 AND UP WASHERS • DRYERS REFRIGERATORS • FREEZERS STOVES (Gas & Electric) Fast C.O.D. Delivery Available 4325 Frankford Ave. 6347 Woodland Ave. 215-743-4429 215-729-9984 (credit cards accepted)

Warranty on Items Sold

HEALTH & MEDICAL PRODUCTS/SERVICES Handicap Scooter - 4 wheeled golden avenger. 400lb. wait cap. 215-757-1747

B engal cats to GOOD Homes email 619-787-0844 Main Coon Kittens vet checked, 1st shots, papers. $550/ea. 610-574-6874 Siamese Kittens m/f applehead, purebred, Health Guar. $400 610-692-6408

LOST CAT Gray White paws name Titi Bells Corner Reward 215-722-1353

GERMAN SHEPHERD PUPS 8 wks, 5 M, AKC reg, OFA & DNA cert., exc disposition and nerves, temperament tested, 7 generation champs, german blood lines, superior quality, health cert/shots/wormed. Call 609-351-3205 German Shorthaired Pointer Pups 8 wks M500/F550 610-430-7577 lve message Havanese Pups AKC, home raised. 262.993.0460, LAB PUPS m/f, black/yellow Reg kennel close out $400, 570.996.3261

153 W Girard Ave 2Br/1Ba $1275 + Elec New reno, No Pets 267.229.4267

2300 S. 11th St. 1BR $750 + utils 2nd floor, rear, 1st, last & sec. dep., W/D, no pets. Call 215-739-6634

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $


33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ Really Paid


Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

I Buy Anything Old...Except People! Military, toys, dolls etc Al 215.698.0787 I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662


52xx Greenway Ave. 1BR $800 close to shopping & transp.215-758-5435 Philadelphia 2br/1ba $750 + util. Newly Renovated. 215-432-3144

51st & Hazel/51st &Race 1br mod kit, ac 565+utl 1st/last/sec 215.474.7332

12xx W. Westmoreland Effic $475 2nd flr, incl utils. Call 215.327.2292 33xx N Park Ave Studio Apt $525/mo. water & heat included, 610.277.9191

48xx Broad St. 2 & 3 BR $700 + Utils Sec 8 OK, 2nd Flr, 2+1, 610.623.0497

45xx Walnut St. 1BR $850 + utils Large apt, hwd flrs, LR, DR 215.820.0342

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $735-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 239 W. Seymour 1BR/1BA $700 Efficiency $460. Call 610-287-9857 621 E. Chelten 1br/1ba $525+utils $1,350 move-in. Call 215-849-6205

Apartment Homes $650-$995 215.740.4900

West Falls Schoolhouse Ln. Extra lg. 2Br, 1.5Ba, deck, $1,150 + elec. Lg. 1Br w/ deck, $850. Call 215-848-0682

W. Phila. Apts for 62 & older, brand new eff,1 & 2BR units. Call 215.386.4791

CNA - 25 years Exp looking for weekend position, Refs available, 610.803.8027

Balwynne Park 2BR $860+utils W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 215-219-6409

1740 Georges Lane 2BR $725+ utils pvt entry, Deck, credit chk. 610.659.7177 18xx N. 52nd St. 2BR $820 + utils 1mo sec, 1mo rent, sec 8 ok. 856.979.4681

To learn more or to find the right person for your job, visit your local partner at

19xx N. 32nd St. 2br $725+elec. brand new, c/a, $2175 req., 215-322-2375 30th & Dauphin vic 2Br 1st Floor new reno, 215.888.4907 Or 267.975.4602 3500 block of 21st St. 2BR $600+utils. Call 267-975-8521

Cheltenham Township, Studio $675/Mo LaMott Section 1st/Last/Sec Dep. Available June 1st. Call 215.540.9183

2764 N Hemberger Room for rent $350+/Mo, No sec, Call 267-257-3610

2xx N. 52nd St 1Br & Rms Near Trans, Reasonable, 484.358.0761

9xx Belmont Ave 1br $650 extra lg apt, eat in kit, 215.275.2736 Parkside Ave 1Br $650 + Utils Bi Level Luxrury 1BR W/Den 215.219.1715

Clifton Heights beautiful 1 & 2 BR Spring Special, 215-681-1723 YEADON Area Beaut/Upgraded 1 & 2 BR W/D, Spring Special 215-681-1723

60XX Warnock 1 BR $625+ nr Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534

City Line Area 2br Apts beautiful, Spring Special 215.681.1723

PUG PUPS - Wonderful pets, born on 3/5, fawn colored, 1st shots, males $550, females $600. Call 717-354-6582

ROTTWEILER PUPS - ACA, farm family raised, S/W, ready 4/26, $750, Lebanon County. 717-949-3093 or 717-821-0659 SHIH TZU pups ACA, 10 Wks, $950 Solid/Tan/white. Call 215.752.1393 SHIH TZU PUPS - Shots, wormed, health guarantee. $500. Call 302-897-9779 Yorkie Puppies - A KC reg. vet checked home raised. $650. Call 215-490-2243

Strawberry Mansion 1BR Apt. Newly remodeled. Call 215-430-0737 Tmpl Hsp. 2br, $800 lrg sny rms, new kit and rugs. 484-716-9330

37XX Morrell Ave 2br/1.5ba $900 2nd Flr, total remod, c/a, 3 walk in closets, W/D Hookup, Lrg Rms 215.432.7908

1XX Sharpnack 1Br/$650 2Br/$750 +Utils, W/D, New Reno 267.918.4145 7500 GTN AVE Garden type 1BR! Spring Special ! Newly dec, d/w, g/d w/w, a/c, laundry/cable, off st prkg. Pets OK! 215-275-1457/233-3322

1414 W. 71st Ave 1br $625 incl utils. Close to trans & shopping. 215-574-2111 Broad Oaks 1BR & 2BR Lndry rm. Special Discount! 215-681-1723

17XX Bridge St. 1/1 $600 and 2/1, $700. 267-476-0224 42xx Penn 1BR & 3BR sec 8 ok, newly renov. 267-467-4322 4500 Frankford Ave. Effic. $490 2nd floor, no pets. Call 386-410-0014

11xx N. 55TH ST. BRAND NEW BLDG Single rms $400, double rooms $600. Rms w/ba $500, Rms w/ba & kit $600. Fully furn w/ full size beds, fridge, & dresser. Couples welcome! SSI/SSD/VA, Payee services, Public assistance ok. Also SW, S., W., N. 267.707.6129 1252 N. 56th ST $500/mo. Clean, furn rooms. 267-241-6583 16xx Orthodox St, share ba, $130 per wk. Dep req’d. Nr trans 215.743.9950 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 29th & Lehigh $115/week Room for rent. 215-549-2111 30th and Lehigh $125/week $375 to Move in, 215-531-4852 3430 N 22nd St priv ent paint use of kit ww $120wk $290move in 267-997-5212 38xx N. 15th - Lg furn room, $105/wk, $300 sec. Call 267-809-7866 53xx N. Broad St. Rm & Apt. Full fridge, 27" TV, AC. Call 267-496-6448 55/Thompson deluxe quiet furn $115$145wk priv ent $200 sec 215-572- 8833 57xx Balt. Ave. $125/week West 55+ community, 484-250-3259 Allegheny $90/wk. $270 sec dep. Near EL train, furn, quiet. Call 609-703-4266 Broad/Olney furn refrig micro priv ent $115/$145wk sec $200 215.572.8833 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890


BULL TERRIER PUPS - for sale shots & Papers 215.518.0045 or 215.820.6974 Dachshund Pups 3 mos, m/f, blk & brown, 1st shots, $400 & $450. 267-238-7327 English Bulldog Pups pedigree, reg, dewormed. Vet Chked. 215-696-5832 English Labrador Yellow Pups $1,000 OFA/AKC Cert Ready 5/22 717.587.3990 GERMAN SHEPHERD PUPPIES Parents on premises with papers 267-977-3491 GERMAN SHEPHERD PUPPIES Registered Starting at $450

3 Phila Eagles SBL lower level seats Sec 116, Row 24, Seats 1,2,3 10 yrd line, $6,950 Ea, Great Seats, 570.954.1257 US Open golf tickets wanted for all dates paying $150 & Up 818.262.3947

apartment marketplace

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 2 3 - M A Y 2 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, waterfall, Cover, 110V or 220V, Never installed. Cost $7K Ask $2990. Can deliver 610-952-0033

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563

everything pets pets/livestock

Yamaha Grand Player Piano w/ Disklavier sys. C2, 2003, 5’ 8 ", $15K 609-714-3370

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

apartment marketplace Germantown, furn rms, renovated, share kitch & ba. $125+/wk. 215-514-3960 Germantown Vic Med & Lg furn room, near trans, 1 week Free, No Drugs, Smoke or Pets, 215.848.0108, 215.848.0391 LaSalle Univ area $125/week Renov furn rooms 215-843-4481 NE Phila clean, safe, secure, newly reno furn, A/C, cable, W/D. 215-645-4962 N. Phila - $75 & up, SSI & Vets+ok, drug free, Avl Immed. 215-763-5565 NT/Wp/Logan pvt entry, also effic avail $110 - $135/Wk, 609.526.5411 Olney & N Phila. $85 & up furn, kit privs, coin-op, crpt. 516.527.0186 SOUTHWEST Newly renov’d, nicely furnished, A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764 SW, N, W Movein Special! $90-$125/wk Clean furn rms SSI ok 215.220.8877 SW Philadelphia $250 to move in. Share kitchen & bath. 267-251-2749 University City Rooms & Apts for Rent Mrs Savage. 267.581.5870 W Phila. 42xx Girard Ave. $110/wk utils incl, $440 move in, SSI ok. 267.784.5534

homes for rent

74 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A Y 2 3 - M A Y 2 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

1638 S Taney St. 3br house $700 newly renovated. Call 267-455-3273 16xx S. Ringgold 3Br/1Ba $850 totally refinished, Sec 8 OK 610.368.7778 28xx Snyder Ave. 2BR $750+utils. Avail. 7/1. $2160 move-in. 215-365-4567 3XX Cantrell 3Br/1.5 Ba $850 + Utils 25XX Mildred 3Br/1Ba $795 + Utils Sec 8 Ok, No pets, 215.539.7866

20xx 60th Lg. 1BR apt. $600+utils 16xx Frazer Lg. 2BR home $750+utils 25xx Hobson 3BR/1BA $850+utils "The landlord that cares" Brandy 609-598-2299 Mark 610-764-9739 24XX S. 57th St. 2br House. Sec 8 OK. $725 +utils. 215-688-3689 53xx Grays Ave. 3BR/1BA $775 No pets. Sec dep. Call 610-202-7221 55xx Regent 3BR new rehab, Sec 8 ok, 215-432-3040 65xx Allman St. 3BR/1BA Newly updated, hdwd throughout, ceramic tile, ceiling fans, sec. 8 ok. Call 1-877371-7368

5641 Arch St. 3BR/1BA $750+utils. Newly renov., hdwd flrs. (215) 459-1699 56xx Lansdowne 4BR/1BA $1,000 C/A, New Reno, Sec 8 ok, 267.597.9085 5xx Preston St 6BR/2.5Ba $995 + Utils newly Reno, HDWD Flrs, 215.409.8383 xx63rd St. rooms $450/$500/mo furn. clean, quiet, 267-467-7667

29xx W. Norris St. 3br/1ba $725 Rehabbed, free HDTV. 215.354.0404 30xx Clifford St. 3BR/1BA $700 + utils LR, DR, yard. Sec 8/SSI ok 877.868.7605

Temple Univ. area 3BR $1,100+utils. Beautiful, completely renovated, new appliances. Call 215-820-2219

4xx W Fisher 3Br/1Ba $895+Utils $2685 move in, Reno, 610.350.9616 CHEW ST. 3BR Sec. 8 ok. Avail. immed. 267-467-4322

65th & Stiles 2BR $800+utils Avail. now. Call (215) 237-4737

4XX Clapier St 5br/1ba $1150 Beautiful lrg house looking for family. Sec 8 OK. ref req 407-221-8010

Ashmead St. & Germantown Ave. 3BR VA and Section 8 ok. Call 215-475-0413

Near Cheltenham Mall 2br $850+utils Newly remod, garage. Call 267-218-1543

71xx N 18th St 2Br/1Ba $900 + Utils Sec 8 Ok, 215.740.4629

30xx Joyce St. 3BR/1BA $750 New paint, large house. 215-327-2292

5038 Glenloch St. 2BR/1BA $895 Section 8 Welcome! 215-479-5508

Oaklyn NJ 2br 1B row 5 mins Ferry Av Speedln. Sec8ok $950+. 609-417-4650

automotive Acura 2004 Luxury 4 dr, 3.2 TL, w/sunroof, Like new $6,975. 215.922.5342

low cost cars & trucks Buick LaCrosse CXL 2005 $2995/obo 73K MI, V6, Auto, R - Title 267.825.2315 Cadillac DeVille Concours 1999 $2100 mint, 111k, runs like new. 215.620.9383 Cadillac Seville 1978 $4,900 44K mi, original. Call (302) 333-3677 Chevy Astro 2004 Mini cargo van. Fully equip, AC, light commercial $3985 TODAY. Corporate Disposal. 215-922-2165 CHEVY LUMINA 1997 $1650 all pwr, 80K, insp, 215-620-9383 Dodge Dynasty 1992 $750 Auto, A/C, Inspected, 215.620.9383 Dodge Grand Caravan 1997 $1550 4Dr, All pwrs, Runs new, 215.620.9383 Ford 2002 F-150 deluxe pickup truck, extended cab w/ fiberglass cover $5,985. A/C, light commercial. Call 215-922-5342 Ford F-150 XL 4x4 1993 $2250 5 Spd, 98k, Needs Nothing, 215.620.9383 Ford Taurus SE 2006 $2750 4 door, loaded, clean, CD, 215-518-8808 Ford Taurus SEL 2005 $4,700 Gorgeous, 73K miles. Call 215-850-0061 GMC Safari EXT 2004 $2000/obo May Trade, Utility van, 126K MI 267.975.4483 Jeep Cherokee 1992 $1350 4wd, Auto, A/C, Insp, 215.620.9383 Saturn Sport coupe 2 2001 $1100/Obo 3 Dr, 153k MI, No Reverse, 267.975.4483 SUZUKI ESTEEM 2001 $2,800 4 Dr, 57K, new tires/insp. 215-830-8881


Mercedes Benz S-500 4Matic 2005 $16,800. Blue ext, Black int, 76k mi, Navigation/6 disk CD. 302-494-3309 Nissan Pathfinder 2003 $5000/Obo 4dr, loaded, sun roof, leather int, 102k mi, As is, Serious Inquires only 215.828.6338

Volkswagen Passat GLS 2003 $6,500 Auto., sunroof, new insp. 610.506.5759

Sell your appliances – and most anything

Overbrook Park Spacious 2 bed, 2nd floor condo. Wall to wall carpet, Gas Heat, Off street parking, Tile floor kitchen w/modern appliances including dishwasher, Central Air, Washer and Dryer. Available May 15th. First, last and security deposit $850 util. Call 610-585-3294

22nd/Sedgley. 2br/1ba House $800. c/a, Temple students welc 215-833-3698 25xx N. 34th St. 5BR/2BA $1,000 Sec. 8 ok, no pets. Call 215-559-9289 2827 N Opal 2Br/1Ba $700 + Utils pvt yard, w/w carpt, W/D, 516.527.0186

else – for cash with a Daily News A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

Classified ad.

Harley Davidson Softtail 2010 $14,000 Lots of extras, 1500 Mi, 215.518.0045



By Matt Jones



✚ ACROSS 1 5 8 14 15 16 17 19 20 21 23 24 25 30 32 33 34 35 36 37 42 43 44 45 46 47 50 53 55 56 57

HARLEY 07 sport 1200, 4800 mi. $7,500 full chrome 215-947-6129 HARLEY DAVIDSON 1200 Custom Sportster ’01 Black 5741 mi. $4,500 267-496-2272

27 31


Ford Fusion SEL 2008 $13,500 Low Miles 14K, leather, power sunroof, alloy wheels, rear spoiler. 610-246-6063

4 New (1500 Mi) 19in Cadillac 2013 XTS Chrome wheels w mounted goodyear eagle tires 856-227-5880 $1200/obo


22 26


Ozone layer destroyers Rear admiral’s rear Family Guy town Tissue additive “Excusez-___!” Dethrone Xbalanque, for instance? Kind of sale or tax Fragrant bouquet Catty remark? West end? “Are we having fun ___?” The Dalai Lama? Outscore Hall-of-Fame QB Dawson Dexter network, for short Port type In the style of Shoe brand ___ McAn Talks that may ask “What’s it like having a palace in Tatooine”? Neutral hue President pro ___ Reznor band, for short Season in Bordeaux “Whatevs” grunt “Relax!” Creature that fire-roasts its own pies? “Was ___ das?” “Like that’ll ever happen!” Fair ___ laws Affliction star Nick

59 1975 “Thrilla” city 62 End of a deep sleep? 64 “___ always money in the banana stand!” (George Bluth) 65 “Bravo!” relative 66 Yacht spot 67 Bank patrons 68 6-pt. scores 69 A portion

✚ DOWN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 18 22 26 27 28 29 31 35 36

Beauty bar brand Got redder Clifftop howler Fashion line? “I love,” to Caesar Easy Listening or Classic Rock They come in and out “Huh?” from Jose Sight ___ “Ad ___ per Aspera” (Kansas motto) They, sometimes Granola piece Bell competitor, back in the day Peace Nobelist from Poland 2008 Pixar robot Like those dressed as nuns Instructional video title start Self-help site CD- ___ Clothing company founded in 1992 Cash source Alec’s sitcom co-star

✚ ©2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords (

37 Versatile army vehicle 38 Dramatic introduction? 39 USSR head known for his bushy eyebrows 40 ‘60s jacket style 41 Boys’ Choir home 46 Composer Gustav 47 Eternal 48 The Sopranos consigliere 49 Admiration 51 Name on African maps (at least up to 1997) 52 Neckwear for a Mystery Machine passenger 54 ___ Haute, Ind. 58 “Clumsy me!” 59 Everest, K2, et al. 60 “A clue!” 61 Beast of burden 63 My, in Marseilles


ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1888-420-3808 www.cash4car. com

Business Services Adoptions ADOPTION


Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715. DISCOVER THE “SUCCESS AND MONEYMAKING SECRETS”

THEY don’t want you to know about.To get your FREE “Money Making Secrets” CD, please call 1(800) 790-5752. EDUCATION

HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA FROM HOME. 6-8 weeks. ACCREDITED. Get a Diploma. Get a Job! FREE Brochure. 1-800264-8330 Benjamin Franklin High School SAWMILLS

SAWMILLS from only $3997MAKE MONEY & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE Info & DVD: www.NorwoodSawmills. com/300N 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N.

Fast flexible funding solutions. Purchase/Refi commercial R/E. $250k min. Call MCG 1-888-258-0658. Visit www. REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.


from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www.


CDL-A Drivers: Hiring experienced company drivers and owner operators. Solo and teams. Competitive pay package. Sign-on incentives. Call 888-705-3217 or apply online at www.drivectrans. com HELP WANTED DRIVER

CRST offers the Best Lease Purchase Program! SIGN ON BONUS. No Down Payment or Credit Check. Great Pay. Class-A CDL required. Owner Operators Welcome! Call: 866-403-7044. HELP WANTED DRIVER


24/7 or daily needs/administer meds/worked with trac’s; peg tubes/lifts;including hospice. Excellent references including doctors that I have cared for including their families. Certified in first aid/CPR/ non smoker/drug free/drive. Phone 267-257-9528.




NATIONAL BUYER in PHILADELPHIA-Paying cash for your PRE-1975 Collectibles. We want your old sports cards, toys, and comic books. CASH PAID!!! Call TODAY: 716-472-6450.

AVERITT OFFERS CDLA DRIVERS a STRONG, STABLE, PROFITABLE, CAREER. Experienced Drivers and Recent Grads-Excellent Benefits, Weekly Hometime. Paid training. 888-362-8608 Equal Opportunity Employer.

Help Wanted – General ACTIVISM/ SUMMER JOBS

Work with Grassroots Cam-

Driver-Two raises in first year. Qualify for any portion of $.03/mile quarterly bonus: $.01 Safety, $.01 Production, $.01 MPG. 3 months OTR experience. 800-414-9569

Make extra money in our free ever popular homailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www.easyworkfromhome. com $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 PAID IN ADVANCE

Paid in Advance! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Oppor tunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately!



Drivers-CDL-A $5,000 SIGNON BONUS For exp’d solo OTR drivers & O/O’s. Tuition reimbursement also available! New Student Pay & Lease Program. USA TRUCK 877-521-5775 HELP WANTED DRIVER

Exp. Reefer Drivers; GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-277-0212 or HELP WANTED DRIVER


GORDON TRUCKING, INC.. CDL-A Drivers Needed! Up to $3,000 SIGN ON BO-


UP STATE NY COUNTRYSIDE SPRING LAND SALE. $5,000 Off Each Lot. 6 AC w/Trout Stream $29,995. 3 AC/ So. Tier: $15,995. 5.7 AC On the River: $39,995. Beautiful & All Guaranteed Buildable. Financing Available...Offers End 5/31/13... Call Now: 1-800-229-7843 LOTS/ ACREAGE

Waterfront Lots-Virginia’s Eastern Shore. Was $300k, Now From $55K. Large Lots, Community Pool, Pier and

Recreational Center. Great for boating, fishing & kayaking. 757-824-0808.

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800-638-2102 Online reservations: www.



Three+ Bedrooms 9TH & MOORE VICINITY

3 bdrm.Tree-lined street, Close CC trans. No pets. Serious inquiries. 215-3365282.

Real Estate Marketplace




20 ACRES FREE. Buy 40-get 60 acres. $0 down, $198/month. Money Back guarantee, No Credit checks. Beautiful views. Roads/Surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800-843-7537.

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.


UNPLANNED PREGNANCY? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Open or closed adoption.YOU choose the family. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. Call 24/7. 866-413-6293.



NUS...Refrigerated Fleet & Great Miles! Up to .46 cpm w/10 years experience. Full Benefits, 401k, EOE. No N.E. Runs! EOE 866-554-7856.



paigns on behalf of the nation’s leading organization on monitoring and fighting Hate groups. Fight Hate Groups. Teach Tolerance. Seek Justice. Earn $5,280-$8,800 for the summer. Full time/Career. Call Chris at 215-564-0361

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

market place


Automotive Marketplace

real estate

Land/ Lots for Sale




Lake Sale, NY; 5 acres Bass Lake $29,900. 7 acres 400’ waterfront $29,900. 6 lake proper ties. Were $39,900 now $29,900. Ends May 31st. 1-888-683-2626.


By Emily Flake


I’m Charles, an outgoing 2-year-old lap cat who was found as a stray in Southwest Philly. I enjoy the company of other cats but would also be happy as your only pet. I love to interact and snuggle with people, but I’m also content to hang out on my own. I’m the perfect mix of playful and calm. Come meet me at 2nd and Arch! Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch.

All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 2 3 - M A Y 2 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 75


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Philadelphia City Paper, May 23rd, 2013  

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