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naked

the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -2 ]

While attempting to share their SEPTA pass on the El, a grandmother and mother accidentally leave a baby in a stroller at 60th Street station. And end up saving a ton of cash long-term.

[ -1 ]

Comcast’s new ban on gun commercials apparently doesn’t apply to stores that sell guns, as long as the ads don’t mention guns. Bad news for Gun-o-Mat; great news for Shooty Town.

[ +5 ]

La Salle basketball player Tyrone Garland becomes a national sensation when he dubs his NCAA tournament game-winning shot “The Southwest Philly Floater.” Bell Curve is too excited to make a poop joke at this time. Please stay tuned.

[0]

A new book by Christopher Frankie, a former associate of Lenny Dykstra, paints the ex-Phillie as a racist, sexist jerk. Mr. Frankie is a painter in the hyper-realist tradition.

[ -2 ]

According to Frankie’s book, Dykstra liked to leave a hotel toilet unflushed, just to hear the maid shriek. “I call it ‘The Center Field Floater,’” says Dykstra. “Will you shut the fuck up,” says his cellmate.

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[ -2 ]

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Revel casino in Atlantic City files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. “Hello? 1-800-GAMBLER? Yes, I think I have a problem. I opened a massive, extravagant casino in the middle of the worst economy since the Great Depression.”

[0]

Millionaire Steve Wynn writes an open letter to the residents of Fishtown claiming that his proposed casino will including fine dining and an elegant hotel. “Speak ENGLISH,” says Fishtown.

[0]

A study by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation finds that Philadelphia is the least healthy county in the state. A study by the Richard Wood Johnson Foundation finds that dick jokes are funny.

[ +2 ]

This weekend at XFinity Live!, a bronze statue will be unveiled depicting Bobby Clarke and Bernie Parent holding up the Stanley Cup. “IT WILL BE ONLY THING LEFT STANDING WHEN I HAVE MY VENGEANCE,” says the ghost of the Spectrum.“STARTING WITH YOU, MECHANICAL BULL.”

This week’s total: 0 | Last week’s total: -7

THOMAS PITILLI

[ connections ]

CABLETOWN RULES Political power and consumer pain in Comcast’s Philadelphia. By Daniel Denvir

A

s City Councilman Bill Greenlee recently fought to pass a bill mandating that some companies offer employees paid sick leave, he got a lesson in how Philly’s largest businesses feel about such regulations. One lobbyist, says Greenlee, broke it down for him: The lobbyist “said to me, in a frustrated manner, ‘Dammit, we don’t want you to tell us what to do,’” Greenlee recalls. “I think that’s really what [the resistance to paid sick leave] is all about.” Leading the charge under that banner was Philly’s highest-grossing company, Comcast. Last year Comcast spent $108,429.36 on Philly lobbyists, primarily targeting paid sick leave. Since Comcast is believed to already provide paid sick leave to most of its employees, critics theorize that the company wants to make another point — that it can do what it pleases. And it often does, flexing its political might at all levels of government, from City Council to Pennsylvania’s General Assembly to the United States Congress. These tactics have won Comcast millions of dollars’ worth of government largesse and soft-touch regulation, and supplied supportive politicians with generous campaign contributions. But consumer advocates say we’re getting the short end of this deal. They point, in particular, to 2011, when the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) approved Comcast’s mammoth and

controversial merger with NBC-Universal. Critics argued that the combination of Comcast, the country’s largest cable and Internet-service provider, and NBCU, a major content producer, would allow the company to shut out rival content producers and distributors. “Telecommunications policy in this country is the story of monopoly, concentrating power and wealth in the hands of a few. Ultimately, consumers lose,” says Todd O’Boyle, of the good-government group Common Cause. “Comcast, as the nation’s largest cable provider, holds the cards. They name their own terms with consumers and, too often, with regulators.” Nowhere was merger support stronger than in Philadelphia, where then-Gov. Ed Rendell said it would bring “prestige” to the city and Mayor Michael Nutter gushed that “any announcement that shines a positive national spotlight on Philadelphia can only be good news for this city and for all Philadelphians.” U.S. Rep. Bob Brady led 15 of Pennsylvania’s 18 House members in signing a letter to the FCC, drafted by Comcast lobbyist (and former chief of staff to Sen. Arlen Specter) David Urban, promoting the deal. It would be, Brady’s chief of staff suggested to the Inquirer,“congressional malpractice to not help a major employer and taxpayer [in the state].” Rep. Allyson Schwartz signed, as did Rep. Chaka Fattah, who also joined a group of black and Hispanic lawmakers urging approval. But the company’s longstanding opposition to an open Internet made consumer advocates wary. In 2009, Brady, whom the Sunlight Foundation calls the “Congressman from Comcast,” circulated a

“Comcast names its own terms.”

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letter, also signed by Fattah and Schwartz, criticizing the FCC’s attempt to enforce net neutrality, the principle that Internet providers should treat all information passing through their pipes equally. In 2008, the FCC sanctioned Comcast for blocking access to applications like the file-sharing site BitTorrent, though its decision was overturned after Comcast sued. The political pressure to approve the merger was strong. Comcast spent $19.6 million on federal lobbying in 2011 and its employees and PACs made $5.1 million in contributions to PACs, parties, candidates and third-party groups during the 2011-2012 election cycle, according to the Center for Responsive Politics. In 2009, Comcast also made $400 million in politically savvy (and tax-deductible) charity donations to win the support of nonprofits and politicians, according to communications-law expert Susan Crawford’s new book Captive Audience, which chronicles the rise of telecommunications monopolies. In 2011, the FCC voted to approve the merger by a four-to-one vote. Comcast soon hired one of those “yes” votes — Republican Commissioner Meredith Attwell Baker — as senior vice president of government affairs. When Seattle-based Reel Grrls criticized the move on Twitter, Comcast terminated donations to their teen film camp. The company later apologized. Commissioner Michael Copps, who cast the sole dissenting vote, complained the deal would not only prompt the harmful “cableization of the open Internet” but further undermine American journalism. Copps failed to secure a condition to “beef up the news operation at NBC,” and argued that there is “nothing in this deal to address the fundamental damage that has been inflicted by years of outrageous consolidation and newsroom cuts. … Investigative journalism is not even a shell of its former self. All of this means it’s more

difficult for citizens to hold the powerful accountable.” Merger critics’ fears were soon realized. In 2012, Comcast was accused of privileging its own Xfinity video-streaming service over competitors like Netflix, by exempting Xfinity use on the Xbox console from Comcast customers’ 250-gigabyte monthly data cap. In February, Comcast’s profits and share price soared after the company announced it would pay $16.7 billion to buy the final 49 percent of NBC-Universal from General Electric. Comcast, which contended that the merger would give consumers greater access to content, asked City Paper to submit written questions and then declined to answer them. ³ THE COMCAST CENTER became the city’s tallest building when it opened in 2008, its 58 stories hailed by then-Gov. Ed Rendell as a “wonderful shot in the arm for Pennsylvania and for Philadelphia.” The benefit, he said, of “being home to one of the world’s leading technology, communications, entertainment and media companies” is “incalculable.” This boon wasn’t free. The state gave $42.75 million in grants and other assistance, while the city’s 10-year-property-tax-abatement program resulted in a tax break of $28.8 million from 2008 to 2013. In 2008, Rendell and Comcast Center owner Liberty Property Trust also (unsuccessfully) lobbied the Republican-controlled state legislature to make the Comcast Center a Keystone Opportunity Improvement Zone, which would have exempted the property from many state and city taxes. Comcast may also benefit from evading the corporate state income tax. More than 1,000 Comcast subsidiaries and holding companies are registered in Delaware, the United States’ most popular on-

It may be evading state taxes.

>>> continued on page 8

photostream ³ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

DAMON LANDRY FLICKR: DAMONABNORMAL

CAPSIZED VOTE ³ ON APRIL 1, thousands of Philadelphians will

wake up to find they are being served by a new district City Council member — no voting required. No, it’s not an April Fool’s joke; it’s Philly politics. Two weeks ago, amid the fracas around Mayor Nutter’s budget address, Council quietly adopted a resolution allowing Council members affected by decennial redistricting — previously set to take effect in 2016 — to begin serving new constituents three years early. Residents will now turn to a legislator they didn’t elect for “constituent services, assistance in zoning matters, recommendations concerning the expenditure of capital funds, recreation activities grants, and other decisions traditionally reserved for the District Councilmember.” Council sources say the resolution emerged from disputes over who was providing constituent services for the 56th Ward in the Northeast. That ward is currently diced into slivers represented by Brian O’Neill, Bobby Henon and María Quiñones-Sánchez, but will soon be folded into O’Neill’s service area. O’Neill, who introduced the resolution, had been vocal about not wanting the 56th Ward in his district, given its leadership by powerful Democratic ward leader John Sabatina Sr., whose vote-getting clout might threaten O’Neill’s position as Philly’s only Republican district Council member. The resolution, therefore, is a chance for O’Neill and others to get a jump on serving future constituents. O’Neill’s office did not provide comment by press time. Quiñones-Sánchez supported the resolution, but was taken aback by how quickly it was passed; it was introduced March 7 and approved March 14. “I can understand why people would want this to take effect sooner, because we made such a historical shift in geography and there’s such a large time lapse. But my concern is that there wasn’t a lot of conversation about it, so I don’t know if there will be unintended consequences.” Ellen Kaplan of the good-government group Committee of Seventy questioned whether it’s ethical to use legislation to switch representation between officials. “Our concern is that the residents of the areas that will change hands have adequate notice that another district Council person, who they did not elect, will be representing them.” So far, it seems, there’s been no notice at all. Sabatina, the ward leader, said he had not been notified about the resolution or its consequences for his ward. He said the move was clearly politically motivated, as it would help O’Neill entrench his position.“Obviously,” said Sabatina,“if a Democrat challenged [O’Neill], it wouldn’t bode well for them.” —Ryan Briggs

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â&#x153;&#x161; Cabletown Rules

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popular on-shore tax haven. Though Pennsylvania corporate-tax payments are not public, Comcast paid an average nationwide corporate-income-tax rate of just 3.4 percent from 2008 to 2010, according to a 2011 study by the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy. The average state corporateincome-tax rate is 6 percent, and Pennsylvaniaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rate is 9.99 percent. Though business leaders complain about Pennsylvaniaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s second-highest-in-the-nation corporate-income tax, 73 percent of corporations operating in the state paid no corporate-income tax in 2010, according to Department of Revenue data. Harrisburg Republicans have resisted efforts to close the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Delaware Loopholeâ&#x20AC;? like mandating combined reporting of subsidiaries. Comcast has opposed combined reporting legislation in Pennsylvania and Maryland, and has spent $455,635 lobbying in Harrisburg since 2007, including on matters related to â&#x20AC;&#x153;taxation.â&#x20AC;? According to the National Institute on Money in State Politics, Comcast hired 46 Harrisburg lobbyists during 2011-â&#x20AC;&#x2122;12 alone. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The fact that Comcast has been so prominent in seeking to prevent the state from enacting combined reporting is a strong indicator to me that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re engaging in some kind of tax-sheltering activity that would be nullified by combined reporting,â&#x20AC;? says Michael Mazerov of the left-leaning Center for Budget and Policy Priorities. Asked about the grants and tax credits the company received, a Comcast spokesperson referred CP to a June 2008 Econsult study, which found that the company and Comcast Center made more than $2 billion in total expenditures within Pennsylvania during construction, and paid $56 million in local and state taxes. The project created $1.6 billion in ongoing annual expenditures, and $70 million in state and local tax payments. The commonwealth, according to the study, reaped â&#x20AC;&#x153;more than six times its initial investmentâ&#x20AC;? in tax revenues. As a point of comparison: In 2011, chief executive Brian Roberts made $26.9 million. The majority of trips taken by one $40 million company jet over six months in 2010, according to a 2011 Wall Street Journal investigation, were to Marthaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Vineyard and Palm Beach, where Roberts has homes, and to other resorts. Âł COMCAST EXECUTIVE VICE president David

Cohen has parlayed local influence into national power. He began as the disciplined superego chief of staff to Mayor Rendellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dangerously free-spirited id in the 1990s, and now serves as self-described â&#x20AC;&#x153;consigliereâ&#x20AC;? to Brian Roberts and co-founder Ralph Roberts. Cohen, who according to the Washington Post makes $15 million per year (not including all stock holdings), makes the public case for leaving a benevolent Comcast unregulated and unaccountable â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a tough case to make. The company has long had a reputation for sharp elbows, and currently faces a class-action federal lawsuit accusing it of employing anti-competitive practices to force small competitors like cable company RCN out of the Philadelphia market, includ-

ing by denying access to lucrative Comcast-owned sports programs. RCN also accused then-Mayor Rendell and City Council of delaying approval of its plan. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You will have to search long and hard in this city to find anyone who will say anything bad about Comcast or the Robertses,â&#x20AC;? Rendell, who counted on the familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s support for his first mayoral campaign, told the Los Angeles Times in 2001. This is perhaps not true among its customers. Comcast and Time Warner Cable each have near-monopoly control over cable television and broadband Internet in their respective U.S. markets, and thus have little incentive to lower the price of Internet service or bundled cable television packages, or to expand the fast-but-expensiveto-build fiber-optics networks common in Europe. Low-income Americans on the losing edge of

Broadband is a â&#x20AC;&#x153;civilrights issue.â&#x20AC;? the digital divide get the rawest deal. In Philadelphia, four of every 10 people have no Internet access at home. Cohen, however, has called broadband access â&#x20AC;&#x153;the civil-rights issue of our time,â&#x20AC;? and touts Internet Essentials, a program initiated as a condition of the merger that provides reduced-price Internet and computers to the parents of low-income children, as a gesture of corporate goodwill. But in November, Cohen let it slip to the Washington Post that Comcast had come up with Internet Essentials prior to the merger and then held it back to preserve a bargaining chip with the FCC. Consumer advocates criticized Internet Essentialsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; slow rollout in Philadelphia, and some call it a ploy to abuse privileged access to schools and community groups as a way to lure in new customers. Though Comcast says staff and volunteers are separated from the companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s >>> continued on page 10


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✚ Cabletown Rules

main sales staff, applicants with past-due Comcast bills and even current or recent Comcast customers are not eligible. “For more than 80 percent of Americans, the only choice for quasi-world-class Internet access is their local cable monopoly. We’re getting second-class service at very high prices with no real oversight,” says author Susan Crawford, a former special assistant to President Obama on tech policy who consumer advocates want nominated to the FCC. “Within our borders we’re creating two Americas: a world in which some people can get access to worldclass educational resources and health care and new jobs, [while] … a third of Americans don’t even have a wired connection at home.” Verizon, which provides a FiOS fiber-optic Internet service in Philadelphia and a few other markets, is a paper tiger of a competitor. In 2011, the company announced that it would stop building out its fiber infrastructure just as it struck a deal whereby it and leading cable providers will market each other’s services: Verizon selling Comcast cable, Comcast selling Verizon’s wireless. By 2015, Comcast will even be able to sell its own branded mobile service as part of the deal.

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³ IN SEPTEMBER 2012, Philadelphia television

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viewers were treated to a half-million-dollar advertising campaign funded by the Republican State Leadership Committee accusing Democratic state attorney general candidate Kathleen Kane of being “soft” on rapists during her time as assistant district attorney in Lackawanna County. The cases cited, however, were not actually handled by Kane, and Republican candidate David Freed hurried to distance himself from what Factcheck.org called “one of the most blatantly false attack ads of the political season.” But Comcast, like other corporations that fund the RSLC, received less scrutiny. The company has donated $730,531 to the group since 2008, according to the Center for Responsive Politics. In July 2012, Gov. Tom Corbett headlined a fundraiser for the RSLC held at the Comcast Center, according to the Daily News.The RSLC had long since become a central cash nexus between state Republican politicians and interested corporations. Eight years earlier, the group donated $480,000 to Corbett’s campaign for attorney general, most of it from Aubrey McClendon, who was then chief executive of Chesapeake Energy Co. and would grow into a titan of natural-gas drilling in the state. Comcast is also active in American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC), a conservative alliance of legislators and corporations that advances legislation in state capitols nationwide. According to the liberal Center for Media and Democracy, the company sits on ALEC’s Communications and Technology Task Force, which has opposed federal broadband funding. Comcast has been accused of thwarting federal broadband investments in cities nationwide in order to stifle competition. In 2009, Philly’s grassroots Media Mobilizing Project protested Comcast’s filing of comments with the National Telecommunications and

Information Administration ragarding the city’s Digital Philadelphia bid for a stimulus-funded broadband grant. Comcast also filed comments with regard to other cities’ applications. Comcast denied charges that it was advocating against the applications, but Cohen had told Bloomberg News that they would oppose “applications to provide service in areas where there is already broadband service.” Ultimately, Rendell decided not to endorse the broadband infrastructure portion of the grant, drawing speculation that Cohen, one of Philadelphia’s most powerful Democrats, had carried the day. Earlier this year, Cohen endorsed Corbett for re-election and held a fundraiser for him at the same Mount Airy home

Politics is part of their business. where he had hosted Obama in 2011. Some wondered whether the surprise endorsement signaled a lack of Democratic donor enthusiasm. In reality, it simply made the raw political calculus that dictates corporate power unambiguous. Cohen, according to the Inquirer, raised $200,000 for Corbett, nearly half the sum he raised for the president. Cohen has extended his support to politicians on both sides of the aisle, donating to Republican state Senate Majority Leader Domenic Pileggi as early as 2007, and to Republican House Speaker Sam Smith since 2004. From 2003 to 2012, Comcast has given $11 million to state-level candidates nationwide, including $1.26 million in Pennsylvania, according to the National Institute on Money in State Politics. Comcast, of course, is a very successful business. And for Philadelphia’s most outsize corporate citizen, politics is just a continuation of business by other means. (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)


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Take the fate of the Philadelphia Theatre Alliance, which until about a year ago was a major provider of services for the theater community, the most visible being the annual Barrymore Awards. But on April 5, 2012, the board met, examined their charter and concluded that the best thing they could do for the theater community was commit organizational seppuku. “Competition was getting more and more fierce among the theater companies for grants, and the Theatre Alliance was applying to those very same foundations to support an administrative infrastructure” that wasn’t showing results equal to its salary and benefit costs, says Margie Salvante, who was executive director at the time. “There are more theater companies every year, which is great! But there’s the same amount or less contributed revenue available.” The board voted to dissolve. Responsibilities for services were divided up among member theaters and organizations and a new group, Theatre Philadelphia, that stepped up to help fill the void. “What’s important there is that that new organization is volunteer-based,” says Salvante. The past several years have been rougher on Philly’s arts sector than cheery headlines about the city’s culture boom would lead you to expect. A 2011 Cultural Alliance study of changes between 2007 and 2009 found a couple truly heartening statistics. True to Philadelphians’ rep as faithful theater patrons, arts ticket revenues went up 11 percent and individual donations by 20 percent during the recession. But it

THE BEST THING TO DO WAS COMMIT SEPPUKU. also found that, if you include investments, revenues fell a horrendous 43 percent, and half of the organizations polled were in the red by the study’s end. In 2007, the RAND Corporation put out a prescient study titled “Arts and Culture in the Metropolis: Strategies for Sustainability” focusing on Philadelphia as a case study. It ends with a list of threats. First: “The region’s art sector may outgrow its support base.” “The arts sector in the Philadelphia region depends upon earnings, especially admissions receipts, for about half its total revenues. The two most important drivers of total attendance — population growth and the growth in the number of well-educated residents — have remained stable over the past decade. The arts sector, however, has been growing much more rapidly than either of these two factors.” A massive survey of local arts organizations turned up the most frequent complaint: that “large major arts organizations … receive the vast majority of resources. Interviews revealed that many smaller arts organizations were struggling to obtain funding and, in some cases, to survive. ... Indeed, the growth of the arts sector raises

questions about its long-term financial sustainability.” “It’s basic math: With less to go around every year, many vital community cultural programs no longer make the cut,” wrote Greater Philadelphia Cultural Alliance president Tom Kaiden in a letter to the Inquirer this month about the grants budget of the city’s Cultural Fund being cut in half from $3.2 million in 2010 to the $1.6 million that was awarded in small chunks a couple weeks ago. “This status quo is not sustainable. ... Trimming budgets and adopting better management practices can only go so far.” American nonprofit-arts ecosystems have existed outside of the laws of straight capitalism since the Industrial Revolution; they’re not the zero-sum games of the free market, everyone competing for a fixed amount of money excreted by a city’s foundations, ticket buyers, government and rich people. “It’s different in every community, every place I’ve ever worked,” says Ewers. “In Minneapolis, where they have many, many Fortune 500 companies, there’s huge amounts of support from the corporate world. >>> continued on page 18


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In Boston, it was very private and anonymous, very large gifts from individuals.” Philly has historically been blessed with a glut of major arts-funding foundations — Pew, William Penn, Annenberg, Knight — and an arts-loving citizenry that actually responded to the recession by going out to the theater more. However, both appear to have time limits. Leonore Annenberg’s gift of $10 million for PIFA was her last before her death at age 91 in 2009; since then, the Annenberg Foundation has essentially moved to California. Pew does more research in D.C. than straight grant-making these days — plus, last week it announced it was switching to a project-based grant model, a move that in effect will force big established arts nonprofits like the Arden, Opera Philadelphia and the PMA to hustle for grants like everyone else. Then on Monday, the Lenfest Foundation announced it was drastically changing up its plans and would be focusing solely on disadvantaged youth. The William Penn Foundation is now the last big player in the area. Much more serious for the long term is the Philadelphia School District’s view of music and arts programs as disposable in times of trial. In 2006, only a third of District schools had both an art teacher and a music teacher, and things have only gotten worse. The biggest correlation with an adult supporting the arts is if that adult participated in the arts herself as a kid. If the Philadelphia Orchestra isn’t pleased with These Kids Today, just wait 20 years for

WHAT WILL THIS CITY’S ARTS LOOK LIKE IN 20 YEARS? These Kids Tomorrow, the ones who never learned “Twinkle, Twinkle” on the viola. And it’s in the context of those kids of tomorrow that the time machine wedged into the Kimmel Center lobby starts to make sense. Though some of its events can feel a little Pops-y and entry-level for a festival devoted to the arts (particularly if you’re coming off a Fringe in which you saw a gut-wrenching chamber opera and 15 different sets of genitalia), it’s because many are supposed to be just that: entry level. Things like the big street fair, the tons of advertising, the giant spiral thing in the Kimmel lobby and the many family-friendly and free events seem aimed less at pushing the edges of creative expression than at creating new supporters of the arts to match the growth of arts that need supporting. It’s thinking about the future. So what will this city’s arts ecosystem look like in 20 years? Anne Ewers hopes that people value the arts and their economic benefits enough that everyone currently in the funding game — business, government, individual and foundation — steps up their support:

“One area where I’ve been very pleased with our initial efforts — I’d say the area we all need to look at — is the number of large, large companies in the suburbs that are eager for a presence in Center City.” Thaddeus Squire of CultureWorks thinks arts organizations will be supported almost entirely by their audiences: “We’ll be less concerned with internationalism and all the insecurities Philadelphia has. We’ll create value on a highly local level, and support things on that scale.” Tom Kaiden of the Greater Philadelphia Cultural Alliance sees a shift toward both support and participation coming from a very broad base of everyday Philadelphians: “Increasingly, I think, culture will be woven into the activities in every neighborhood of a city — in fact, I think that’s already happening.” But, as that time machine in the Kimmel Center isn’t functional yet, we’ll all just have to wait and see. (emilyg@citypaper.net) ✚ What do you think the arts in Philly will look like in 20 years? Let us know online at citypaper.net/futurearts.


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Food & Drink

URBAN JUNGLE IS A UNIQUE GARDEN CENTER located in the heart of South Philadelphia.

BAKERY: Metropolitan Bakery, 262 S. 19th Street, 215-545-6655, www.metropolitanbakery.com

BARTENDER: Danny McCloskey - Nick’s Roast Beef, 16 S. 2nd Street, 215-928-9411

BEER CENTRIC BAR: Monk’s Café, 264 S. 16th Street, 215-545-7005, www.monkscafe.com

BREW PUB:

Specializing in Bgarden design Bgreen walls Birrigation systems Bgarden supplies

Btropical houseplants B green roof expertise Bgifts for home Bterrariums

Dock Street Brewery and Restaurant, 701 S. 50th Street, 215-726-2337, www.dockstreetbeer.com

BRUNCH: Sabrina’s Café, 910 Christian Street, 215-574-1599, www.sabrinascafe.com

BURGER: 5 Guys Burgers and Fries, 1527 Chestnut Street, 215-972-1375, www.fiveguys.com

CAFÉ: La Columbe Torrefaction,

DATE NIGHT RESTAURANT/ACTIVITY: The Philadelphia Orchestra, 215-893-1999, www.philorch.org

FESTIVAL/ FARMERS’ MARKET: Punk Rock Flea Market, 461 N. 9th Street, 267-765-5210, www.r5productions.com

INDIAN CUISINE: Ekta Indian Cuisine, 250 E. Girard Avenue, 215-426-2277, www.ektaindianrestaurant.com

MARGARITA: El Vez, 121 S. 13th Street, 215-928-9800, www.elvezrestaurant.com MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE: Dmitri’s, 795 S. 3rd Street, 215-625-0556, dmitrisrestaurant.com

1526 East Passyunk Ave. 215.952.0811

urbanjunglephila.com

MOBILE FOOD/FOOD TRUCK: Little Baby’s Ice Cream,

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We have a large variety of outdoor annuals and perennials as well as a full line of indoor and outdoor containers in all materials, shapes and sizes. Custom consultations and installations are available year round.

130 S. 19th Street, 215-563-0860, www.lacolombe.com


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2311 Frankford Avenue, 267-687-8567, www.littlebabysicecream.com

NEW BAR/RESTAURANT: Industry Bar, 1401 E. Moyamensing Avenue, 215-271-9500, www.theindustrybar.com

PHILLY CHEESESTEAK: Pat’s King of Steaks, 1237 E. Passyunk Avenue, www.patskingofsteaks.com

PIZZA: Nomad Pizza Company, 611 S. 7th Street, 215-238-0900, www.nomadpizzaco.com

QUICK BITES: Reading Terminal Market, 51 N. 12th Street, 215-922-2317, www.readingterminalmarket.org

RESTAURANT: McGillin’s Olde Ale House, 1310 Drury Street, 215-735-5562, www.mcgillins.com

ROAST BEEF/PORK: Nick’s Roast Beef, 16 S. 2nd Street, 215-928-9411, www.nicksroastbeefbarandgrille.com

SEAFOOD: Oyster House, 1516 Sansom Street, 215-567-7683, www.oysterhousephilly.com

THAI CUISINE: Pattaya Thai Cuisine, 4006 Chestnut Street, 215-387-8533, www.pattayarestaurant.com

Nightlife ADULT STORE: Kink, 126 Market Street, 267-908-KINK (5465), www.kinkshoppe.com

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CASINO: The Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa, One Borgata Way, Atlantic City, NJ, 609-317-1000, www.theborgata.com

CLUB/BAR W/DANCING: The Trestle Inn, 11th & Callowhill Street, 267-239-0290, www.thetrestleinn.com

CONCERT/LIVE MUSIC VENUE: Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden Street, 215-232-2100, www.utphilly.com

CULTURAL VENUE: The Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St, 215-893-1999, www.kimmelcenter.org

DIVE BAR: Mc Glinchey’s Bar and Grill, 259 S. 15th Street, 215-735-1259

EVENTS PROMOTER: Live Nation, www.livenation.com

HOOKAH BAR: Byblos Restaurant & Bar, 114 S 18th Street, 215-568-3050, www.byblosphilly.com


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INTIMATE LIVE MUSIC VENUE: World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut Street, 215-222-1400, www.worldcafelive.com

LATE NIGHT SPOT: Prohibition Taproom, 501 N. 13th Street, 215-238-1818, www.theprohibitiontaproom.com

THEATRE COMPANY: Ritz Theatre Company, 915 Whitehorse Pike, Haddon township, NJ, 856-858-5230, www.ritztheatreco.org

Fashion, Retail, Fitness & Culture ADRENALINE PUMPING THRILLS: FDR Skatepark, Pattison Avenue & S. Broad Street, www.phila.gov/parksandrecreation

ALTERNATIVE SPORTING EVENT: Philly Roller Girls, Philadelphia, PA, www.phillyrollerderby.com

ART GALLERY: 3rd Street Gallery, Inc., 58 N. 2nd Street, 215-625-0993, www.3rdstreetgallery.com

BIKE SHOP (BUY/SELL/REPAIR): Bicycle Therapy, 2211 S. Street, 215-735-7849, www.bicycletherapy.com

BLING: Henri David – Halloween,

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1329 Pine Street, 215-732-7711

CONSIGNMENT STORE/ VINTAGE: Philly AIDS Thrift, 710 S. 5th Street, 215-922-3186, www.phillyaidsthrift.com

CONTINUED LEARNING: Society Hill Dance Academy, 409 S. 2nd Street, 215-574-3574, www.societyhilldance.com

DAY TIME DATE SPOT/ ACTIVITY: Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Parkway, 215-763-8100, www.philamuseum.org

FAMILY FRIENDLY OUTING: The Philadelphia Zoo, 3400 W. Girard Avenue, 215-243-1100, www.philadelphiazoo.org

FERTILITY CLINIC: Society Hill Reproductive Medicine, 822 Pine Street #4b, 215-829-8110, www.societyhillrm.com

FLORIST/NURSERY: Old City Flowers, 31 S. 3rd Street, 215-925-2882, www.phillysbestflorist.com


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GO GREEN/ SUSTAINABILITY:

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PhillyCarShare, 1226 Chestnut Street, 215-730-0988, www.phillycarshare.com

HEALTHY LIVING: 12th Street Gym, 204 S. 12th Street, 215-985-4092, www.12streetgym.com

HOME DESIGN/ REMODELING: West Elm, 1330 Chestnut Street, 215-731-0184, www.westelm.com

HOTEL:

THE CITY PAPER WRITING CONTEST IS BACK! Send your short stories! Send your poetry! DEADLINE: 5 p.m., Tuesday, April 16. FICTION: $5 per story. Stories should be 3,000 words or less and unpublished. No more than three ction submissions per author. POETRY: $5 per ve poems. No more than 10 poems per poet. PRIZES: Winners get divided-up entry-fee money and have their work printed in City Paper.

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ELIGIBILITY: Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware residents are invited to participate. SUBMITTING: Make checks payable to City Paper Writing Contest at the address below or via PayPal to paypal@citypaper.net. Stories and poems should be e-mailed to gimmection@citypaper.net or mailed to:

City Paper Writing Contest, 123 Chestnut St., Third Floor, Philadelphia, PA 19106

Loews Philadelphia Hotel, 1200 Market Street, 215-627-1200, www. loewshotels.com/Philadelphia-Hotel

MUSEUM: Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Parkway, 215-763-8100, www.philamuseum.org

NEIGHBORHOOD: Old City, www.oldcitydistrict.org

NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION: PAWS, 100 N. 2nd Street, 215-238-9901, www.phillypaws.org

ODDITIES/ ALTERNATIVE STORE: Armed & Dangerous, 623 S. 4th Street, 215- 922-4525

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES: Rosenbaum and Associates, 1818 Market Street #3200, 215-569-0200, www.rosenbaumandassociates.com

SALON: Headhunters Hair Design, 1718 E. Passyunk Avenue, 215-334-4001, www.headhuntershairdesign.com

SERVICE WITH A SMILE: David Foley – Bundy Computer, 1809 Chestnut Street, 215-567-2500, www.bundycomputer.com

SPECIALTY STORE: Paper Moon, 520 S. 4th Street, 215-687-2780

SPORTING GOODS/ HARDWARE: Rittenhouse Hardware, 2001 Pine Street, 215-735-6311, www.rittenhousehardware.com

TELEVISION/PHONE PROVIDER: Verizon, www.verizon.com

UNIVERSITY: University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia PA, 215-898-5000, www.upenn.edu

MORE INFO AT

CITYPAPER.NET/WRITINGCONTEST

WEDDING VENUE/ SERVICES: Philadelphia Magic Gardens, 1020 South Street, 215-733-0390, www. philadelphiasmagicgardens.org


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artsmusicmoviesmayhem

icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ LOCAL NIGHTLIFE entrepreneur David

Carroll is about to turn 75. To paraphrase Bye Bye Birdie, that’s a lotta living to do and have done. Especially when you consider the hot spots Carroll has owned (Artemis,Hot Club,Bar Noir,a baker’s dozen, probably), the punk and new-wave legends he’s booked (everyone), the peeps he’s managed (Brian Setzer,John Eddie,the late Linda Cohen), the real-estate deals he’s brokered. Hell, he’s still brokering them.“It’s not over,” laughs Carroll, whose intimates are throwing a secret party for him this weekend, before he leaves for the West Coast for an extended vacay. “You got to hang in if you want to hang out,” says Carroll. ³ Fans of weird science won’t have to wait until April 6 when the Mütter Museum opens its doors for its Masquerade Ball to get their fill. The Absinthe Drinkers, their lyrics full of medical oddities, will return from a winter’s hibernation to play their first 2013 gig March 28 at Connie’s Ric Rac. ³You say you like Italian food and the Replacements but can’t figure how to blend your passions? Check out Internet cooking show Accademia dei Cento (ph.ly/stinson), hosted by Philly’s Lorraine Ranalli.She’s got Replacements (and occasional Guns N’ Roses) bassist Tommy Stinson and his uncle/chef Chip Roberts cooking up chicken thighs. Stinson lives around here, don’t ya know. On the non-foodie tip, Paul Westerberg and Stinson have been doing plenty for their old stroke-struck bandmate Slim Dunlap, including an EP for his bills found at songsforslim.com. ³ In December, the Zoning Board approved developer Leo Addimando’s plans to turn 12th and Wharton’s Annunciation B.V.M. School into the Wharton Street Lofts with its historic façade still standing, as well as more than 40 apartments, a roof deck and a first-floor commercial space. Yeah, but when? I’m hearing that by the first week of May, the jackhammers will start. ³ When Low Cut Connie join up with DRGN King at Johnny Brenda’s March 29, they come with some new inside-baseball cred. LCC hired Roger Holcombe,from Nashville, Tenn., a former member of Hans Condor and supposed relative of bluegrass pioneer Roscoe Holcomb. Tommy “Castro” Hughes from Birmingham’s Cedar House Band joined, too. “Jack White invited us to record a live EP at the grand reopening of his Third Man Records shop,” says LCC’s Adam Weiner.“We taped an incredible session for David Dye at World Café that will air soon. Rolling Stone asked us to be the band at their annual Christmas party as well as running videos we shot at Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar. Oh, and I got married and the Tune-Yards’ Merrill Garbus fronted Connie as the wedding band.” Phew. ³ The names keep dropping at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

BOYS IN THE HOOD: L-R, Ben Dibble, Mark Cairns, Jake Blouch and Matt Tallman in Lantern Theater Company’s Henry V. PAOLA NOGUERAS

curtaincall CP theater reviews

³ HENRY V Henry V is officially categorized as one of Shakespeare’s histories, though to me it’s more specific than that: It’s his Boy Play. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a fine play, at points a very great one, if not the equal of the two parts of Henry IV that precede it. But its central themes, almost unremittingly, are guts and glory, bonding and battle. In the Lantern Theater Company’s smart version, judicious script cuts have been made that emphasize this even more sharply. Ah, but even the author himself pondered the potential inadequacy of a stage to express the scope of war. “Can this cockpit hold the vasty fields of France?” wonders the Chorus in “O for a Muse of fire,” the opening speech that so famously begins Henry V. It feels like a rhetorical question, but perhaps the best news at Lantern is that the answer, against substantial odds, is yes. Director Charles McMahon and his cast give us a production that is pared down but vividly alive. Apart from Ben Dibble as Henry (more about him in a moment), seven actors are cast in multiple roles. The entire ensemble — Krista Apple-Hodge, David Bardeen, Jake Blouch, Mark Cairns, K. O. DelMarcelle, Matt Tallman and Mal Whyte — is excellent, with each actor having some especially felicitous assumptions. (My favorites include Bardeen as a pompous Archbishop of Canterbury and DelMarcelle making an astonishingly convincing and touching boy.) The production’s visual world is equally accomplished. Scenery

(by Meghan Jones) and lights (by Drew Billiau) create a beautifully dark, minimalist environment of distressed woods and metals that allows Mary Folino’s costumes to provide opulence and help define characters. Most importantly, the apt and elegantly stark style allows the story — a tale of England at war with France in the early 15th century — to unfold clearly. Most of all, this is Henry’s story: the tale a young king, recently ascended to the throne following the death of his father, Henry IV. At a time when civil unrest threatens England, the “new” Henry must quickly reach mature manhood and, through campaigns at home and abroad, unite his country. He does so with remarkable grace. Of all Shakespeare’s many kings, Henry V may be the most admirable and charismatic. And since Henry gets virtually all of the play’s most memorable and oft-quoted lines — and there are many of them — it’s also a plum role for a young star. Henry V has been played by some of the world’s most celebrated actors, who have offered fascinatingly different takes on the character. Two of the most famous are on film, and it’s worth comparing them to what we see here. In 1944 — tellingly, in the midst of World War II — Laurence Olivier was captured at his glamorous best. In the beloved St. Crispin’s Day speech, his voice pours over the words like molten gold. Olivier is the most regal of Henrys, at all times every inch the monarch. In 1989, Kenneth Branagh directed another movie version of Henry V in which he played the title role.

The stark style allows the story to unfold clearly.

>>> continued on page 32


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[ machine guns mounted on the handlebars ] “No One to Call,” the lead track from Caitlin Rose’s The Stand-In (ATO), is an early contender for Song of the Year. Sure, it’s tart twang-pop lamenting lousy radio options, but the soaring chorus could instill hope in even the biggest music snob. The daughter of a Nashville songwriter, Rose has a gift all her own for telling lyrical details and effortless melodic hooks. Songs like “Only a Clown” and “When I’m Gone” both exalt and subvert classic country songcraft. She plays MilkBoy Philly on Wednesday (April 3, milkboyphilly.com). —Michael Pelusi

³ electronic Hamburg’s Stefan Kozalla — aka DJ Koze — titled his 2004 mix album All People Is My Friends.With Amygdala, released on his own Pampa imprint, he strives to prove the point, inviting like-minded pals Caribou, Ada, Apparat, Matthew Dear and Milosh to join him for a leisurely joyride through kaleidoscopic post-Kompakt pop. The album is a hazy fantasia wending its way through warmly personable tech-house, daydreamy downtempo, deliciously improbable covers (Rodgers & Hart?) and Marvin Gaye samples, all of which should win him plenty more friends. —K. Ross Hoffman

Welcome to Mikrosector-50 (R&S), the first full-length transmission from Space Dimension Controller (Earthname: Jack Hamill), is just your basic retro-futuristic, time-traveling, electro-fried robofunk space opera. The album’s nutsoid narrative concept — unfolding on the titular planet in the year 2357 — is even more of a cheeseball sci-fi goof than, say, Janelle Monáe’s ArchAndroid. Somehow, the computerized voices and Hamill’s freaky/cheeky, easy/sleazy Egyptian Lover-style rhymes don’t detract one bit from his epic, electric, ’80s-indebted galactic grooves. —K. Ross Hoffman

AUSTRALIA! A Barbie Dream House that dripped blood. “Beer: Everybody drinks it. Why the hell do they need a commercial?” —Pete Gordon, pianist and philosopher

³ dvd/blu-ray In ethnographic filmmaker Jean Rouch’s original formulation, “cinéma vérité” was almost the opposite of what it’s come to mean: not an unmediated record of reality, but a record of its mediation — “not the cinema of truth, but the truth of cinema.” Chronicle of a Summer, the first of his many films to be released at an accessible price, uses the question “Are you happy?” as the instigation for a survey of Parisian youth circa 1960. It’s ingeniously simple and fiendishly complex, and more sophisticated about the form than most of the documentaries released in the half-century since. —Sam Adams

[ movie review ]

BEYOND THE HILLS [ A- ] CRISTIAN MUNGIU’S FOLLOW-UP to 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days again finds a

³ EVERYBODY — FROM DECENT hardworking Gothic/industrial types to lowly pond-scumsucking hipsters to model-railroad enthusiasts — owns at least one Nick Cave CD. Shit, Luther, there are tribes wandering about the rainforests of Borneo who have had no contact with Western civilization yet can, inexplicably, hum the melody to “The Ship Song.” The arrival of a new Nick Cave CD had, traditionally, been like waking up on Christmas Day to discover that you’d gotten a bicycle with machine guns mounted on the handlebars or a Barbie Dream House with walls that dripped blood. This is because Nick Cave albums only came in two flavors: Brilliant, or Extra-Brilliant with Sprinkles. The man had never released a “just OK” piece of work. Until now, that is. The mad mullahs who drank panther piss and murdered entire towns on past recordings have been exorcised from Push the Sky Awayand replaced with “mature, introspective, plaintive” tunes that totally lack the fire we’ve come to associate with Saint Nick. It’s almost as if Cave’s magnum opus, The Boatman’s Call,had been subjected to a focus group consisting of suburban mothers:“These songs would be so nice if he just wasn’t so angry.” It’s nearly impossible to believe this is the same guy who, just three short years ago, gave us the soul-crushing “Palaces of Montezuma” on the second Grinderman CD.

Verdict: The world doesn’t need a more “mature,introspective,and plaintive”Nick Cave.We need our merrily deranged Santa back. (r_anonymous@citypaper.net)

✚ Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Push the Sky Away

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(BAD SEED LTD.)

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pair of women trapped within the confines of a repressive system — then, a totalitarian government, now an Orthodox Christian convent. But where the system in 4 Weeks enforced its will through physical means, the oppressive agent in Beyond the Hills convinces people to imprison themselves. The Moldovan convent to which Voichita (Cosmina Stratan) has given herself is a place of quiet contemplation and soothing routine, but that holds only for those who obey its rules, laid down by a priest (Valeriu Andriuta) who insists on being called “Daddy.” When Voichita’s childhood friend, Alina (Cristina Flutur), shows up and attempts to persuade her to leave, the status quo asserts itself with terrifying force. As in 4 Weeks, Mungiu works in long takes and at a measured pace, burying the story’s true-crime origins for half the film’s two-and-a-half-hour length. It’s then that the volatile Alina is accused of being possessed by a demon, and the black-shrouded nuns descend on her in a thick cloud. Alina, of course, denies it, incredulously at first and more violently thereafter, but her hysterical protestations only convince the priest he is on the right track. Surely a true Christian would simply submit to God’s will. Although less overtly political than its predecessor, Beyond the Hills is easily read as a parable of a post-totalitarian state whose citizens willingly submit to new authorities because they’ve lost the habit of thinking for themselves. Given that the film suggests Alina and Voichita’s relationship was once sexual, it also touches on the tactics of “exgay” movements, whose adherents use the greater good as pretext for any number of immoral acts. Apparatuses of the modern world — trains, ambulances, hospitals — make their presence known at the film’s beginning and end, but what comes between suggests humanity has barely evolved since primitive times. —Sam Adams

A parable of a posttotalitarian state.

SPELLBOUND: Voichita (Cosmina Stratan) leads a peaceful existence at an Orthodox convent until a childhood friend comes to visit.

Rodney Anonymous vs. the world

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This Henry is less poetic, more plebian and deeply engaged with the righteous ardor of the fight. (Branagh should be ashamed, though, that he lets Patrick Doyle’s schmaltzy musical score engulf and overwhelm St. Crispin’s Day.) At Lantern, St. Crispin’s Day provides Dibble with one of his many moments to shine. McMahon has made the rather daring choice not to treat the speech as a stop-everything showpiece, but rather to make it a seamless part of a continuing narrative. Nonetheless, Dibble brings his best qualities to the scene: specificity, forthrightness, confidence and supreme likeability. These are signature elements of his Henry throughout, whether in friendship, in combat or unapologetically enjoying the spoils of war (including Katharine, the French princess, whom he woos and weds). Dibble’s performance still has room to grow — he could find more inner light and more gravity — but for the most part, he joins an illustrious group of Philadelphia actors whose Shakespeare performances at Lantern have made for evenings to treasure. Through April 14, $30-$38, Lantern Theater Company at St. Stephen’s Theater, 923 Ludlow St., 215-829-0395, lanterntheater.org. —David Anthony Fox

³ SEMINAR

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DOCTORED UP: Julie Czarnecki and Dan Olmstead in Good People. MARK GARVIN

Writers talking about writing sounds deadly dull, but not in Theresa Rebeck’s capable hands. Her play Seminar reveals writing — here, fiction, at which she excels, as well as playwriting and film and TV scriptwriting (she’s a Law & Order veteran and the creator of Smash) — to be an art, a craft, an obsession, a cutthroat business and an emotionally crippling vocation, but one that’s never dull. The Philadelphia Theatre Company’s production, smartly directed by Scott Schwartz, introduces four young writers who’ve each paid $5,000 for tutelage from “rock star” novelist Leonard (Rufus Collins). They’re a cross-section of aspiring fiction writers: sycophantic Douglas (Luigi Sottile), conniving seductress Izzy (Theresa Avia Lim), idealistic Martin (Matt Harrington) and selfdoubting Kate (Geneviève Perrier), who hosts the classes in her Upper West Side rent-controlled apartment (sharply realized by Kevin Rigdon, who also expertly lights the play). At first, Rebeck seems to target self-centered writers: For example, Douglas pontificates about what he calls “interiority and exteriority” several times, marking himself as an obnoxious twit. We soon find, however, that all four students are complex, grounded characters, desperate for validation. Despite their competitive instincts, they rally against Collins’ monstrously Machiavellian Leonard, who preaches that writers are “about as civilized as feral cats” and exhorts them to visit Somalia to experience real life. He’s a namedropping teller of tall tales whose teaching methods include crudeness, lewdness, browbeating and belittling to such an extent that even his rare kind comments sting. Seminar blooms into an involving discussion of success’s costs for artists in a business that depends so much on connections, ass-kissing and dumb luck. Martin — righteously idealistic, but also deluded — becomes our focus, as do his complicated relationships with opportunistic, sexually open Izzy and old pal Kate. Does Leonard’s extraordinarily abusive, albeit often hilarious, treatment actually help them write better? Is he perhaps not a bitter, washed-up hack? Seminar achieves an unexpected level of mystery and insight that makes it a soaring experience. Rebeck, who wrote a fascinatingly cynical memoir called Free Fire Zone about her “adventures on creative battlefields” that confirms Seminar’s accuracy, shows through deft writing and this ensemble’s sincere performances that creativity doesn’t exist in a vacuum, but is a messy business by, for and about real people. Through April 14, $46-$59, Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St., 215-985-0420, philadelphiatheatrecompany.org.

The Walnut Street Theatre fits one serious contemporary play into each season of musicals and crowd-pleasers, and David Lindsay-Abaire’s 2011 Broadway hit Good People fills that role this time around. While definitely a comedy, Good People explores class in America (defined somewhat by race and accent, but mainly by income) with discomforting insight. This co-production with Lancaster’s Fulton Theatre features Julie Czarnecki’s strong turn as Margie, a lifelong resident of Boston’s Southie neighborhood. Goodhearted and proud, she’s raised a disabled daughter alone by working low-level jobs, but loses her Dollar Store gig due to frequent lateness. Boss Stevie (Jared McLenigan) is an old classmate’s son. Everyone knows everybody in Southie. Desperate for work, pressured by landlord Dottie (Sharon Alexander) and egged on by bestie Jean (Denise Whelan), Margie approaches old boyfriend Mike (Dan Olmstead), a successful doctor living in posh Chestnut Hill, to hook her up. When Margie calls him “lace-curtain Irish,” a derogatory term for a roots-denying snob, Mike invites Margie to his home to prove her wrong. The inevitable clash of Mike and Margie’s Southie origins and his wealthy, cultured life amuses, but Bernard Havard’s astute production keeps Lindsay-Abaire’s serious themes foremost. Czarnecki fully realizes Margie’s complexity, revealing a woman smart enough to know that disparate fortunes stem more from luck than brains. She’s a fuming mixture of desperation and hope, and can’t contain her seething resentment. “How’s the wine?” Mike’s wife, deliciously played by Danielle Hebert, asks. Margie replies, “How the fuck should I know?” her sarcasm tinged with helplessness. “You gotta be a selfish prick to get anywhere,” Jean remarks. Mike certainly qualifies, but Olmstead’s nuanced performance shows that he doesn’t know how selfish, or how lucky, he’s been. Jacob Mishler’s song choices are the production’s only misstep, with tunes like “Fight the Power” and “Had a Bad Day” cutely echoing the obvious. Good People is better served by Robert Klingelhoefer’s slick set and Shon Causer’s sharp lighting, neatly showing the distance between Southie’s gloomy squalor and the light-infused luxury Margie may never know. Through April 28, $10-$85, 825 Walnut St., 215-574-3550, walnutstreettheatre.org.

—Mark Cofta

—Mark Cofta

³ GOOD PEOPLE


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Mike Brenner studies hard to take it easy in Calcutta. By A.D. Amorosi

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[ arts & entertainment ]

THE SLO ROAD

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[ slide guitar ]

o one could accuse Mike Brenner of making things easy on himself. After the Low Road broke up — though, truth be told, his sweet roots-rock ensemble still gets together for reunion shows — he could have been an in-demand session player. He’s got some very specific skills as a master player of the pedal steel, lap steel and Dobro. And he did do a little bit of session work for Magnolia Electric Co.’s frontman Jason Molina, who died March 16. “Jason was a very talented, troubled individual,” he says. “I loved his material and voice. Some shows were tremendous, some tragic. People have been posting older videos all over the Internet and I’m in a lot of them. It’s kind of eerie.” But no, the post-Low Road Brenner could most often be found in a white suit forging folk with funk and hip-hop under the name Slo-Mo. And that’s nothing compared to his latest trip, the album Tripti, which he recorded primarily in India at the feet of his teacher, Pandit Debashish Bhattacharya. A Grammy-nominated lap slide guitarist, Bhattacharya plays on lustrous cuts such as “Tut Tut,” “Chai Blues” and the title tune. Brenner had come across a video of the man in a music store 10 years ago. He had never heard of Hindustani slide guitar or chaturangui, the Indian slide guitar created by Bhattacharya, but he bought it anyway. “Obviously, after listening, I was totally hooked,” says Brenner. In contrast to the isolationist melancholy of Molina’s work, Tripti is pure passion and communion. “I’m trying to realize some kind of joy and beauty through the connection of the musicians from different worlds. Jason’s music is poetically sad missives from a solitary source, one heart sharing some serious pain.” Brenner’s joyful pursuit took him to Calcutta, a musical pilgrimage funded by a successful Kickstarter campaign in 2011. “Being alone on a new planet, it just added to the mystery of the experience. Everything was a thrill and a chal-

lenge, from the music on down to whether we were going to find the studio.” Bhattacharya’s first lesson called for Brenner to completely rethink his approach to Indian guitar playing, the chaturangui in particular. Years of performing in noisy bars and clubs — even on something as gentle as a Dobro — had turned Brenner into a steel-taloned monster. “I would dig into the strings, play hard,” he says. “Debashish told me straight up that if I didn’t lighten my touch, I would never approach the speed and dexterity needed to play at Indian fast tempos,” Brenner recalls. “The instant I backed off on my touch while practicing on the chaturangui, I could hear the difference: more tone, more sound, less stress on my hands.” Once you go chaturangui, you can’t go back to the hard stuff. Says Brenner, “I’m trying to

“I lose myself in the drone and hours melt away.” lighten my touch on lap steel and Dobro these days.” He marvels while recalling lone grooves that went on for hours and how, in some cases during his jams with his teacher, Brenner would keep his own playing very simple and open and “let Debashish’s guitar do the real nasty stuff.” Now that he’s home, Brenner’s still studying the chaturangui and following up on a new passion: the haunting drone that is essential in Indian music. “I lose myself in the drone and all the practice hours just kind of melt away,” says Brenner. “That’s really what I was after by going to India. I practiced 7 to 8 hours a day. By the end of the evening, you are levitating.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net) ✚ Thu., March 28, 7 p.m., free, Tashan,

777 S. Broad St., 267-687-2170, heyslomo.com, mytashan.com.


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“EXHILARATING & HEARTBREAKING.”

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

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A FILM BY

SALLY POTTER

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ONE OF THE SMARTEST AMERICAN MOVIES THIS YEAR.”

Ginger & Rosa

✚ NEW BEYOND THE HILLS See Sam Adams’ review on p. 31. (Ritz at the Bourse)

EVERYBODY HAS A PLAN

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION A haiku: Knowing is half the battle. The other half is cold-blooded killing. (Not reviewed) (Wide release)

GINGER & ROSA | B+ Almost disconcertingly straightforward after the formal inventions of Yes and Rage, Sally Potter’s Ginger & Rosa enlivens a pat coming-of-age tale with striking performances by Elle Fanning and Alice Englert. Setting the young women’s intellectual and sexual awakenings against the backdrop of the Cold War (and just before the Beatles) seems terribly on the nose, and Potter, never one to shy from blunt symbolism, draws her topical parallels with broad strokes. But within them lies a finer tracery of human interaction, especially when it involves Ginger’s father (Alessandro Nivola), a jailed conscientious objector who uses personal liberation as a catchall for selfish and reckless behavior. Liberation, Potter suggests, is not an unqualified good: Sometimes a thaw reveals jagged rocks beneath the ice. Fanning may not have the gelid perfection of elder sister Dakota, but she taps reservoirs of feeling far beyond her years (she’s younger than Ginger’s 17), making her character’s well-worn struggles seem as if they’ve never

happened to anyone before. Englert, whose mother is director Jane Campion, is more sullen and impetuous, a dark narcissist to Fanning’s rosy-haired idealist. Potter’s take on the ’60s occasionally slides into Big Chill cliché, but with her actors, she’s on virgin ground. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five)

THE HOST Read Dotun Akintoye’s review at citypaper.net/movies.

THE SAPPHIRES | B+ Nineteen-sixties Vietnam might not immediately come to mind as a place where dreams are made, but in Wayne Blair’s The Sapphires, it’s where an Australian girl group gets a shot at stardom. Inspired by a true story, the film opens at a talent competition where three Aboriginal sisters deliver a honeyed rendition of a Merle Haggard tune and, not to anyone’s surprise, lose to a weak-voiced, fair-skinned competitor. The sisters’ luck turns when the community center’s bleary-eyed piano player, Dave Lovelace (Chris O’Dowd), hollers in his whiskey-laced voice that the show was fixed and subsequently convinces the songstresses to drop the country-western act and opt for soul instead. At first, Gail (Deborah Mailman), the strong-willed eldest of the musical clan, resists the Irishman’s persuasions, but the sisters eventually agree to have him as their manager. Joined by their cousin Kay (Shari Sebbens), a Melburnian passing as white, the Sapphires are born. They book their first gig playing for American soldiers in Vietnam and when they step off the plane, garish colors replace the faded ones of Australia, making Saigon look more like a tropical playground than a war zone. The movie’s pace quickens once the shows begin, and the camera flits from budding romance to family drama to sappy reminiscence, leaving little time for character development. Despite the film’s flustered storyline, it’s kept afloat by toe-tapping performances, Lovelace’s

“AN ELECTRIFYING MASTERPIECE! NOTHING WILL PREPARE YOU FOR ‘SPRING BREAKERS’. HARMONY KORINE KNOCKS IT OUT.” AIN’T IT COOL NEWS -Harry Knowles,

“JAMES FRANCO HAS MADE THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME.” -Drew Grant,

SELENA VANESSA ASHLEY RACHEL JAMES GOMEZ HUDGENS BENSON KORINE FRANCO

Album featuring new score by Skrillex and Cliff Martinez available on Big Beat Records/Atlantic Records

NOW PLAYING AT THEATERS EVERYWHERE! CHECK DIRECTORIES FOR SHOWTIMES • NO PASSES ACCEPTED

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A haiku: Viggo Mortensen, sick of himself, starts anew in Argentina. (Not reviewed) (Ritz at the Bourse)

-Tom Carson,


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outlandish humor and a subtle exploration of race relations. In need of some polishing, The Sapphires still manages to dazzle. —Paulina Reso (Ritz Five)

THE SILENCE | BIn 1986 a young girl is raped and murdered in a wheat field alongside a dirt road in a small German town. The crime goes unsolved for more than two decades, but director Baran bo Odar isn’t interested in preserving the mystery. The Silence opens with the crime and reveals its perpetrators, a pair of pedophiles who’ve formed a bond over leering from park benches and watching kiddie porn. Twenty-three years later, another girl disappears from the same spot under identical circumstances. This time it’s unclear what’s happened, but as the investigation methodically proceeds, Odar focuses less on the evidence and more on how it affects everyone involved. The Silence is a film about those on the periphery of the tragedy: the recriminatory and guilt-ridden parents of the missing girl, the mother of the original victim who is constantly reminded of her loss, and the recently retired detective whose life was irrevocably altered by his inability to solve the crime. They all seem tuned into a mutual wavelength of grief and mourning that excludes those who haven’t suffered in the same way — only one of the investigating officers, who recently lost his wife to cancer and is still in the process of falling apart in the aftermath, can connect. Odar can’t resist a God’s-eye-view wheat field shot, and his often suffocating sense of style and elegiac tone make for a glacial pace. It’s arduous at times, but ultimately pays off in the unexpected resonance of the final moments. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

TYLER PERRY’S TEMPTATION A haiku: Kim Kardashian goes psycho for sex and wealth. In this movie, too. (Not reviewed) (Wide release)

✚ CONTINUING ADMISSION | C Both Tina Fey and Paul Rudd are

capable comedic commodities who alienate few and amuse many. So why does this rom-com’s rollout feel so lethargic? The action’s steered, in the most neurotic sense of the word, by Portia (Fey), a Princeton admissions officer with a stunted sense of selfworth. After John (Rudd), head of an alternative high school, lures Portia out for a recruiting visit, she finds herself drawn to the witty, flannel-wearing

headmaster himself and Jeremiah (Nat Wolff), an unconventional student who John claims is the son Portia gave up for adoption years before. Like always, Fey stumbles, Rudd bumbles and it’s as cutesy and inoffensive as ever. It’s the movie’s many out-of-character decisions that make it hard to buy. Too much about Admission rings lazy, and a guidance counselor would probably say the same. —Drew Lazor (Wide release)

THE CROODS | B DreamWorks was boldly formulaic in hammering together its latest sure-tobe-smash, but it’s amiable and imaginative enough to tickle animation fans of all ages. The Croods follows that clan, hunter-gatherers led by dad Grug (Nicolas Cage), and their ho-hum existence inside a boulder-doored cave. While family members Ugga (Catherine Keener), Gran (Cloris Leachman) and Thunk (Clark Duke) don’t seem disenchanted by their lot, young Eep (Emma Stone) longs to roam. After meeting Guy (Ryan Reynolds), Eep gets her wish, as the family flees lands crumbling from the rapid breakup of Pangaea. The Croods’ Disney-style believe-in-yourself sentiment is spread on quite thick, but co-writers/co-directors Chris Sanders and Kirk De Micco make the most of the prehistoric creative license. —DL (Wide release) THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE | CThe 40 Year Old Virgin and Little Miss Sunshine helped Steve Carell earn his status as America’s favorite heartbreaking project of a leading man, his unacted-upon seething and downtrodden diction endearing him to the put-upon. That’s why it’s strange to admit that his latest character — a past-his-prime illusionist — might be his least likable role yet. After a decade

on the Vegas Strip, Burt Wonderstone (Carell) and partner Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi) are told to adapt or die. Banished to performing at an oldfolks home, Burt later connects with former assistant/budding magician Jane (Olivia Wilde) and childhood idol Rance Holloway (Alan Arkin) en route to a splashy comeback. While it reads like lowbrow gold, there are simply not enough sincere belly laughs wedged into Wonderstone. —DL (Wide release)

LORE | C+ In 2004, Australian writer/director Cate Shortland made an auspicious feature debut with her film Somersault. Her follow-up, Lore, continues to demonstrate her expertise at depicting a teenage girl’s coming of age. However, Shortland’s approach here — impressionistic imagery and an elliptical narrative — fails to spellbind. Set in 1945 Germany, Lore centers on the title character, Hannalore (Saskia Rosendahl), as she guides her four siblings 500 miles across the Black Forest to their grandmother’s farm after they are abandoned by their Nazi parents. Rosendahl gives a strong performance, but neither it nor the outstanding cinematography by Adam Arkapaw can redeem the film’s slow, somber and uninvolving qualities. —Gary M. Kramer (Ritz at the Bourse)

the leader of the free world. Especially in the early scenes, director Antoine Fuqua walks a fine line between his usual grit and Stallone-style goofiness; yes, Butler deals out death via a bust of Lincoln, but no, he doesn’t make a presidentially-appropriate quip afterwards. The result is sometimes mindlessly entertaining, but often just mindless. —SB (Wide release)

ON THE ROAD | D+ Clutching Jack Kerouac’s peripatetic roman à clef like a besotted sophomore, Walter Salles trails Kerouac and Neal Cassady’s novelistic doppelgängers like an eager puppy. Salles doesn’t reshape or reinterpret the book so much as act it out, with the grace and intelligence of an ad hoc production staged in front of a blank bedsheet. Sam Riley’s Sal Paradise (the Kerouac figure) is appropriately moody and withdrawn, but Garrett Hedlund’s Dean Moriarty (Cassady) is less a Benzedrined philosopher than an antic loudmouth, his nervous twitching ex-

NO | A A canny comedy and cutting critique, Pablo Larraín’s No looks back at the 1980 vote to extend or end Chilean autocrat Augusto Pinochet’s rule through an adman’s eyes. René Saavedra (Gael García Bernal) is accustomed to using the language of liberation to sell soft drinks, but when he’s placed in charge of the nightly TV time devoted to the no-confidence vote, he’s marketing the genuine article. Instead of recalling secret torture chambers — a total downer — he crafts sunny jingles about a post-Pinochet future. Chilean critics have accused Larraín, whose father is a prominent right-wing politician, of playing fast and loose with history, but it’s clear his real target is the present day, when revolutionary rhetoric is inconceivable outside the commercial framework. René’s side may have won the battle, but No argues with blackened humor that they lost the war. —SA (Ritz Five)

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN | C+ Gerard Butler stars as a Secret Service agent pulled from President Aaron Eckhart’s detail after failing to save the First Lady during a car accident. Unfortunately, he was apparently the only agent trained not to run chest-first into oncoming bullets, so he’s forced into a rescue mission when the Koreans shoot up the White House and kidnap

acerbated by Salles’ incessantly handheld camera. Kristen Stewart does haunted melancholy — hush, haters — with aplomb. Poor Amy Adams, however, is stuck batting lizards out of trees with a wobbly rake, which aptly mirrors On the Road’s scatterbrained desperation. —SA (Ritz East)

STOKER | B+ The English-language debut of Park Chan-wook (Oldboy) is a fascinating if sometimes ungainly hybrid, a gory Gothic Frankenstein: It’s a cyborg, but that’s OK. The script, by Prison Break’s Wentworth Miller, is a trifle, but Park spins ornate variations on its clumsy themes. India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska) is an alabaster wisp, withdrawn but eerily self-possessed, like an eggshell waiting to be cracked. Enter charismatic Uncle Charles (Matthew Goode), a globe-trotting dandy whose dark side is almost comically apparent. As the mother who realizes too late what’s been happening in her house, Nicole Kidman has a bum part, but Park’s direction shows little of the tone-deaf quality common to directors making their first film in a foreign tongue. Stoker works mostly as a mood piece, but what a mood it is. —SA (Ritz East)

[ movie shorts ]

✚ REPERTORY FILM BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Ponyo (2008, Japan, 101 min.): An adorable reworking of A Little Mermaid. Sat., March 30, 11 a.m., $5. Alice Neel (2007, U.S., 81 min.): A doc on the iconic American portrait painter. Introduction by PAFA’s Robert Cozzolino. Thu., March 28, 7:30 p.m., $10.50. Pride and Prejudice (2005, U.K., 127 min.): “He’s so … he’s so rich.” Wed., April 3, 7:30 p.m., $10.50.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St. 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. The Horizon Glitters (1961, Japan, 89 min.): A jazz musician coaxes his fellow prisoners to escape with him. Thu., March 28, 7 p.m., $9. Ghost Story of Yotsuya (1959, Japan, 76 min.): A samurai poisons his wife only to be haunted by her vengeful ghost. Thu., March 28, 9 p.m., $9. Yellow Line (1960, Japan, 79 min.): An exotic dancer is kidnapped by a killer on the run. Fri., March 29, 7 p.m., $9. Vampire Bride (1960, Japan, 80 min.): The movie’s title says it all. Fri., March 29, 9 p.m., $9. Death Row Woman (1960, Japan, 76 min.): After being falsely accused of poisoning her husband, a woman makes an escape from prison. Sat., March 30, 5 p.m., $9. Flesh Pier (1958, Japan, 73 min.): An undercover cop busts a call girl ring at a nightclub. Sat., March 30, 7 p.m., $9. Ghost Cat of Otama Pond (1960, Japan, 75 min.): Fair warning: Ghost cats are considerably less snuggly than living cats. Sat., March 30, 9 p.m., $9. Am I Black Enough for You (2009, Sweden, 87 min.): A doc on Billy Paul’s follow-up single to “Me and Mrs. Jones,” which bombed and nearly cost him his career. Q&A with singer following the screening. Tue., April 2, 7 p.m., $10. Play Like a Lion: The Legacy of Maestro Ali Akbar Khan (2011, U.S./India, 75 min.): This doc is shown as an accompaniment to Raga Samay Festival, a 24-hour Indian music concert being held at Drexel on April 5. Wed., April 3, 7 p.m., $9.

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agenda LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | MARCH 28 - APRIL 3

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[ righteous anxiety run amok ]

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STARING CONTEST! GO!: Tensnake plays Voyeur tonight. TOBIAS SCHNEIDER

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings. IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

THURSDAY

3.28 [ theater ]

✚ THE CRUCIBLE

Through April 6, $20, Tomlinson Theater, Temple University, 1301 W. Norris St., 215-204-1122, templetheaters.ticketleap.com.

[ classical/experimental ]

✚ VALGEIR SIGURÐSSON/NADIA SIROTA A linchpin of the indie-clas-

among others, is out this week. —K. Ross Hoffman Thu., March 28, 8:30 p.m., $12, with We Have Heaven, First Unitarian Church Side Chapel, 2125 Chestnut St., 866-468-7619, r5productions.com.

[ reading ]

and marketing. They’re us, and we are what’s wrong with the world. America. Fuck yeah. —Patrick Rapa Thu., March 28, 7:30 p.m., free, with Jonathan Dee, Free Library, Central Branch, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org.

✚ GEORGE SAUNDERS

[ electronic/dance ]

The New York Times wasn’t making a mere proclamation with the headline “George Saunders Has Written the Best Book You’ll Read This Year.” It was also kind of a challenge. After all, it’s only true if you actually read the book. Tenth of December will show you what short-story nerds have been trying to tell you for years: that Saunders is the funniest and most scathing satirist of modern America. His subjects are living exhibits in busted-up theme parks, shallow suburban dream chasers living above their means, amoral capitalists hiding their awfulness behind bureaucracy

Things haven’t quite happened for Tensnake the way it looked like they would back in 2010, the year of his sun-soaked, vibraphone-enabled smash “Coma Cat,” not to mention his nearly-as-ubiquitous remix of Azari & III’s “Reckless With Your Love,” with its memorably cheeky C+C Music Factory interpolation. Despite a stage seemingly set for worldwide disco domination, the Hamburg DJ/producer, born Marco Niemerski, has kept things relatively quiet since then, averaging only one single per year (in 2012 it was the ’90s-jacking hip-house of “Mainline”). But his steady trickle of remixes

✚ TENSNAKE

(for Little Dragon, Hercules & Love Affair and Aloe Blacc among others) and a recent session for the BBC’s Essential Mix series — including some tasty unreleased originals possibly slated for a forthcoming LP — attest that he’s still got his finger on that mid-tempo good-times boogie pulse. —K. Ross Hoffman Thu., March 28, 10 p.m., $8, with Snacks DJs, Voyeur, 1221 St. James St., voyeurnightclub.com/snacks.php.

[ rock/pop ]

✚ CARSIE BLANTON Since leaving Philly for New Orleans last year — not too long after releasing Idiot Heart — Carsie Blanton has hardly been taking it easy. She’s kept touring like a madwoman and making sexy, playful music videos; the latest, for the jazzy “Backbone,” is a classy blackand-white burlesque number. May will see the release of her Rude Remarks and Dirty Jokes EP, which takes its title from

39

Before Arthur Miller’s 1953 dramatization of the Salem witch trials became a high school English-class staple, it was a Tony Award-winning sensation. This was, in part, because Miller’s portrayal of social manipulation through stoking paranoid fears

—Mark Cofta

sical crossover community, both within and beyond his native Iceland, Valgeir Sigurðsson has a noticeably divided resumé of arranging, engineering and production work: Björk, Bonnie “Prince” Billy, Feist and CocoRosie on one hand; Nico Muhly and the Kronos Quartet on the other. He also founded the pioneering label/collective Bedroom Community, home to Muhly, Ben Frost and Sam Amidon. His third outing under his own name, last year’s Architecture of Loss, began life as the score for a dance piece by Stephen Petronio, but it’s intriguing and evocative stuff in its own right, culling haunting, elegiac grace from an unpredictable range of orchestral and subtle electronic textures. A central presence on the album, and along for the ride to help recreate it tonight, is violist Nadia Sirota, whose own Bedroom Community debut, Baroque, featuring bespoke compositions by Muhly and My Brightest Diamond’s Shara Worden

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Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Caroline Russock or enter it yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

was a clear allegory for McCarthyism, with Colonial heretics stubbing in for Hollywood Communists. Today’s challenge, for director and Temple alum David Mackay and his audience, is to push the textbook aside and appreciate this gripping, all-too-real story of righteous anxiety run amok. At the center of this effort — Temple’s third staging of The Crucible, after productions in 1976 and 2000 — are M.F.A. candidates Tim Dugan as rebellious John Proctor and Leah Walton, a Barrymore Award-nominated comedy specialist on Philadelphia stages for years, as his loyal wife Elizabeth.


GREAT FOOD AND BEER AT SURPRISING PRICES HAPPY HOUR 5-7

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a line in the handclap-happy “Under Your Thumb,” a cheeky kiss-off that only makes us miss Blanton all the more. Good thing she hasn’t forgotten her old hometown. —M.J. Fine Thu., March 28, 8 p.m., $12-$15, with Alec Ounsworth and The Kernal, MilkBoy Philly, 1100 Chestnut St., 215-925-6455, milkboyphilly.com.

FRIDAY

3.29

Rumor has it that Dangerous Ponies puts on some seriously fun live shows, but now it’s on the record. Their new EP, Tenderheart, is a blast from start to finish, with Chrissy Tashjian’s tough-yet-vulnerable vocals driving the fuzzy power pop of “Tenderheart” and the sweet “Sparks,” and the whole band rising to the occasion for the instant-classic “California” and the surfy new-wave/modernrock hybrid “Dogfite.” They’re smack in the middle of a two-month tour that’s already taken them South and West (and, not incidentally, to several shows at South by Southwest), with dates yet to come from Kalamazoo to Miami. The perfect time, then, for a brief respite at home, capped by a show to celebrate the release of their crushworthy 7-inch.

[ jazz ]

—M.J. Fine

✚ ALEXIS CUADRADO

AV E C A R R I L L O

M A R C H 2 8 - A P R I L 3 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Poet Federico García Lorca likely died for his outspoken criticism of the right wing in his native country at the time of the Spanish Civil War. But in 1929, he trained his pen on the inequality he witnessed while traveling in New York City as Wall Street crashed. That work, published posthumously as Poeta en Nueva York, serves as the inspiration for his countryman, bassist/ composer Alexis Cuadrado.

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[ the agenda ]

[ rock/pop ]

Born in Barcelona, Cuadrado made his own journey to NYC during yet another financial meltdown. His new protest song cycle A Lorca Soundscape sets García Lorca’s all-too-relevant words to a seductively dark blend of modern jazz and flamenco, voiced by Chilean singer Claudia Acuña. —Shaun Brady Fri., March 29, 5:45 and 7:15 p.m., free with museum admission of $20, Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Ben Franklin Pkwy., 215-763-8100, philamuseum.org.

Fri., March 29, 9:30 p.m., $6-$8, with Starlight Girls, Desert Noises and Slutever, MilkBoy Philadelphia, 1100 Chestnut St., 215-925-6455, milkboyphilly.com.

SATURDAY

3.30 [ beardos ]

✚ EAST COAST BEARD AND MUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIP Brought to you by Philly’s own Beard and Mustache Club, this annual competition boasts some 17 categories, including Full Beard Natural (12 inches and longer, no styling aides), Styled Mustache (styling aides permitted) and Freestyle Beard (“anything goes”). Bald-faced outliers can also get in on the fun; a full six categories are devoted solely to women, prepubescents and the otherwise facial-hair challenged. This year’s festivities also include a performance by bewhiskered folk trio Mr. Fuzzy and the Barbarian, plus a panel of expert judges that includes celebrated icon of partying Andrew W.K. — that’s right, the artist formerly (and briefly)

askpapa By Ernest Hemingway

³ MEN WITHOUT SLEEP

E VA N M . L O P E Z

FROM 7-MIDNIGHT!

BOBBY BONSEY

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$2 TACOS EVERY SUNDAY

Dear Papa: My roommate keeps talking in his sleep. At first it wasn’t too much of a problem, just the occasional mumble, but now he starts screaming about crazy stuff in the middle of the night. It doesn’t just wake me up — it scares me! Earplugs don’t work (I have an old swimming injury). Should I talk to him or just move out? —Sleepless in Cedar Park Dear Sleepless: He is hurt, but there is nothing you can do for him. You can only try to sleep. Say a prayer for everyone you have ever met starting with the person you met most recently. Think of the face of every woman you have ever known. That will not last long. They will all be the same. Think of every river you have ever fished. Every river is different. It will soothe you. The sound of silkworms chewing leaves, or possibly of the merry and drunk young men celebrating victories, will also soothe you until you are at peace and are not frightened. If you do not fish then I don’t care. Dear Papa: Every time my mom comes to visit me, she ends up cleaning my house! I know that there could be worse problems, but she moves everything around and I think she’s even thrown some stuff away! —Mama Issues in Mayfair Dear Mama: I have a woman named Marie who comes and cleans for me and sometimes she moves my things. I tell her, “Marie, do not move my things.” She does not listen. Sometimes she moves my fishing rods. I am angry but I do not fire her. There are some things you can control and some things you cannot control. You cannot control a woman who cleans your home and you cannot control your mother. (askpapa@citypaper.net) Writer Alli Katz communicates with the late Mr. Hemingway via Ouija board. Email her your questions for him and you may find them answered in this monthly column.

known as cultural ambassador to Bahrain. —Jess Bergman Sat., March 30, 8 p.m., $16, TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011, phillybeardclub.com.

MONDAY

4.1 [ rock/pop ]

✚ BRONCHO You might know Ryan Lindsey from Starlight Mints, but where that band generally specializes in off-kilter chamberpop, the also-Oklahoma-based Broncho has decidedly different concerns. Their raggedly garage rock is clearly indebted to the Stooges, New York Dolls and Ramones. Yes, these are fairly obvious reference points.

But, thanks to lean performance and production values, Broncho’s songs make the most of their simple yet catchy melodies, breathless rhythms and gutbucket guitars. It doesn’t hurt that they have titles like “I Don’t Really Want to Be Social” and “Record Store” — knowing distillations of classic thrift-punk motifs. Their most recent album, Can’t Get Past the Lips (available at broncho. bandcamp.com), came out in 2011. But it’s still brisk and enjoyable, even now sounding like a breath of fresh air. —Michael Pelusi Mon., April 1, 9 p.m., $10, with Dong Johnson and Beach Day, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

[ rock/pop ]

✚ BROOKE WAGGONER If you didn’t know what Brooke Waggoner was up to


PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

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ME

T

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ADOP

6 MONTHS OLD, SHEPHERD MIX

DIAMOND!

I’m Diamond, a cute shepherd/pit bull mix who needs a home! I’m around six months old and was surrendered by my owners because they could not afford a pet. I’m a lively lady who’s full of puppy energy! I get along great with dogs my size and would be a good match for a home with kids over 10.

Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch.

All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

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pumping up the brass. Mon., April 1, 8 p.m., $20-$22, with Ron Sexsmith, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

4.3 [ rock ]

ings a sophisticated sheen. Waggoner made that record during her transition from single lady to married woman, and she explored that boundary from different angles, like a bride flexing her hand to catch her wedding band in different lights. She hasn’t had too much time for domesticity, though; she spent much of 2012 occupied with The Peacocks, Jack White’s fierce female band. So it’s not totally surprising that Originator (Swoon Moon) is both more experimental and showier than Waggoner’s previous work, ditching the strings and

[ the agenda ]

—M.J. Fine

WEDNESDAY

the agenda

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between her last album and her new one, the transformation could be startling. Her piano and voice took center stage on 2009’s Go Easy Little Doves, and strings and woodwinds gave the proceed-

✚ CHELSEA LIGHT MOVING Thurston Moore was never just a member of Sonic Youth — the guitarist’s litany of outside collaborations and solo projects stretches back to the early ’90s, right up through his well-received recent solo albums and last year’s self-explanatory Yokokimthurston — but with the dissolution of his nearly threedecade marriage to Kim Gordon and the uncertain future of their alt-rock-defining flagship band, Moore’s current affairs now seem like more than just extracurricular dabbling. In that light, Chelsea Light Moving (Matador) and the eponymous quartet it

introduces (bassist/violinist Samara Lubelski, guitarist Keith Wood of Hush Arbors, drummer John Moloney of Sunburned Hand of the Man) have the flavor of a carefree rebound relationship: loose, messy, playful. It may not be the weightiest thing in the world, but a whole lot of fun in the moment. Through fuzzed-out skronk-pop, blankeyed noise-sludge, hard-and-fast punk and smirking beat poetry, it feels like nothing more or less than an attempt to embrace the mantra of deceptively low-key album opener “Heavenmetal”: Be a warrior and love life. —K. Ross Hoffman Wed., April 3, 8:30 p.m., $15, with Marco Fusinato, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com.

More on:

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THURSDAY 3.28 STUNTLOCO

Sat, March 30th, 10pm Free RAUNCHY DJ PARTY

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FIRST FRIDAY, April 5th 7pm Free EARLEJOHNSONXGRIMGR IMGRIM Art Show

DJ SYLO & LUKE GOODMAN

DJ MANDIP & DJ M-SKI

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MAD DECENT MONDAYS

----------------------------------------TUESDAY 4.2 QUIDDITAS OUR ALARM CLOCK THE TEA CLUB RON TUBMAN ----------------------------------------WEDNESDAY 4.3 MINKA BOB & MARTHA TWISTER BABY

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www.silkcityphilly.com 5th & Spring Garden

GRO

Sat, April 13th 8:30pm Donations @ Door Air Is Human, Edison and Jamie Shemanski Sat, April 20th, 9pm Donations @ Door The Improbables, Blessed Muthas and The Stents

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ON THE CORNER OF

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INVITE YOU AND A GUEST TO AN ADVANCED SCREENING

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foodanddrink

amusebouche By Adam Erace

food

MELT WITH YOU

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MELTKRAFT | Reading Terminal Market, 51 N. 12th St., 267-639-3309, valleyshepherd.com/meltkraft. Hours: Mon.-Wed., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thu.-Fri., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sat., 9 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Sandwiches, $5.75-$8.75.

BAR NONE: Southwark’s Kip Waide mixing up a Martinez. JESSICA KOURKOUNIS

[ happy hour ]

COCKTAIL CLIMES While cocktail bars are popping up in virtually every major metropolis, Philly is bucking the trend. By Caroline Russock

U

nlike early-adopter cities like San Francisco and Portland, Philadelphia is usually not the first to jump on the bandwagon when it comes to trend-centric aspects of food and drink. Sure, we’ve got our new-wave Neapolitan-style pizzerias, haute hotdog joints and ramen shops, but they’re relative newcomers on the scene. Cocktail bars, those darkly lit dens of bitters, jiggers and shakers, are a phenomenon that has yet to take off around these parts. To be fair, we have four drinks destinations: Franklin Mortgage and Investment More on: Company, the Ranstead Room, Hop Sing Laundromat and the newly opened Emmanuelle. Those establishments’ offerings are top quality, but compared to the national cocktail climate, our numbers are paltry. Instead of password-protected speakeasies, tiki taverns and gin joints, however, we’ve got a number of restaurants with some very serious cocktail programs. Which raises the questions: Why have cocktail bars yet to take off in Philly, and why are patrons more apt to have a well-crafted drink at a restaurant? When it comes to Philadelphia cocktails, Southwark was a pioneer, mixing up classics since 2004. Barman and co-owner Kip Waide shies away from the term “cocktail program” and would rather think

citypaper.net

of his workspace as “a bar in front of a restaurant.” What does he feel is behind the lack of straight-up cocktail bars in town? “Well, personally, I think we’re kind of like a Johnny-come-lately. I mean, New York followed San Francisco, who followed L.A. 20 years ago. But, I mean, I think the main thing is that by the time you get a liquor license in this town, it behooves you to actually have a restaurant.” Speaking of finances, Waide doesn’t offer exact numbers, but the cost of a Pennsylvania liquor license is considerably pricier than in other states. Another hinderance for the Philly cocktail scene? The folks over at the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board who make bartender-bait ingredients like Maraschino and Crème de Violette difficult to come by and even more difficult to keep in house on a regular basis. Having recently returned from a research trip to San Francisco to check out several of that city’s cocktail parlors, Fork’s bar manager, Guy Smith, has a few ideas about the dearth of drinks-only spots. Echoing Waide’s observations on the MORE FOOD AND PLCB, Smith laments that there are no DRINK COVERAGE liquor reps to drop off supplies, as is the AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / case with most other cities. Indeed, after M E A LT I C K E T. offering his thoughts on the subject, Smith had to run to the state store around the corner to pick up a bottle of amaro before the evening’s service. He sees this relationship with the PLCB as a hindrance: “In San Francisco, you go to a dive bar and they have a cocktail list featuring Fernet Branca and all crazy different types of amaro and stuff. And so I think availability of spirits is huge.” But the cocktail menu at Fork certainly doesn’t suffer from lack of Fernet, with one particular drink featuring the not-for-every>>> continued on page 46

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³ ERAN WAJSWOL, real-estate-mogul-turnedJersey-shepherd, tells the story of a Hoboken mozzarella maker: “Fiore’s, I used to hang around there. Every week someone from Fiore’s would go to the Newark airport and ship fresh mozzarella to Frank Sinatra.” When his head cheese maker at Valley Shepherd had to learn to make mozzarella, “I sent her up to Fiore’s.” A visit to Valley Shepherd’s gleaming new atelier in Reading Terminal shows the lesson is paying dividends. Curd mistress Jamie Png braids milkwhite mozzarella so long and strong, Rapunzel would be jealous. Firm and supple, it’s one of three cheeses made onsite with raw milk pumped into Valley Shepherd’s pristine cheese room. “I don’t even count [mozzarella] as cheese,” Wajswol admits. “Cheese has to age.” Coming from a man who blasted a hole in a mountain to create an aging cave on his farm, I can understand that. What I understand less is Meltkraft, the artisanalgrilled-cheese bar with a name that evokes the decidedly not-artisanal Easy Mac. Meltkraft shares a register with Valley Shepherd’s cheese counter and nano-grocery selling salumi, sheep-milk butter and $100 lamb pelts that should come with a room at the Great Northern. Run by CIA grad Rebecca Foxman, the counter advertises eight sandwiches on a chalkboard menu. She and her crew stack thick-cut, butter-lathered slices of Le Bus country white and brioche with assorted cheeses (Valley Shepherd and non), cornichons, sopresatta, mac-’n’-cheese and other toppings, like duck and bacon fats, which you can add on for a nominal tax on your wallet and aorta. Pressed on a pair of griddles, both my grilled cheeses emerged gooey inside but greasy and flappy outside. Foxman’s flavors worked: pickled green tomatoes and barbecue chips added pep to the oozy Melter Skelter (both the name of the sandwich and the raclette-style cheese it stars), and spiced cranberry chutney and caramelized onions nicely adorned somebody else’s Brie. But you don’t need a Hyde Park degree to know a proper grilled cheese should be golden and crisp on the outside; Meltkraft’s sat in my gut like sack of stones. The mozzarella is not subject to that treatment. Foxman serves its sandwich with roasted tomatoes and respect. Frank, I think, would approve. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

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f&d


the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city

[ food & drink ]

â&#x153;&#x161; Cocktail Climes <<< continued from page 45

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one amaro mixed with bourbon, mint, grapefruit and Peychaudâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bitters. When talking about the future of Phillyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cocktail scene, Smith is hopeful: â&#x20AC;&#x153;You really have to be committed and be able to put in a little bit of extra work. I think once Philadelphians get introduced to these cocktails, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to want them. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to seek them out and ask for things. And itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll change, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll catch up. But I think right now, yeah, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re definitely behind the San Franciscos and the New Yorks.â&#x20AC;? Over at modern-Israeli destination Zahav, sommelier Brian Kane crafts his cocktail list not only to complement Mike Solomonovâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s menu but also to work in harmony with the kitchen, produce-wise. That means drinks such as the Israeli salad martini. This summertime â&#x20AC;&#x153;dirty martini on steroidsâ&#x20AC;? infuses gin with cult-status farmer Tom Cultonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heirloom tomatoes and cucumbers. With its beer-focused menu, Italo-gastropub Alla Spina could have very well done away with cocktail options. Asked why they chose to include an extensive list of creative mixed drinks, Vetri Family Restaurants beverage manager Steve Wildy points to their integral role in the Italian tradition of sharing food and drink with friends and family. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re really excited about the current craftbeer and pub scene in Italy, and beer is a huge part of what we do. But we never could have opened a casual Italian spot without a proper nod to the aperitivo,â&#x20AC;? Wildy says. Dave Garry, co-owner of Pennsportâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Industry, finds similarities in Philadelphiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and Chicagoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s restaurant cultures, two places where cocktails are recently catching up. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Over five years ago, craft beer was blowing up â&#x20AC;&#x201D; you couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sell wine in a bar. And nobody really tried,â&#x20AC;? says Garry. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But now the way the food scene is blowing up as well, there are a lot of people that are carrying beverages and food together. You up the ante on the food, you almost have to up the ante on everything, you know? The quality of all your product has to be above par. I think cocktails just kind of fell in line with that. Which everybodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s benefiting from. I know I am.â&#x20AC;? At The Industry, head bartender Mike Burleigh works closely with the kitchen when coming up with cocktails to go with chef Pat Szokeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s menu. When kumquats came into the kitchen, Burly crafted a tequila cocktail with a kumquat and long-hot syrup that is debuting on their new drinks menu. Ideas usually get generated at the end of a shift, when Szoke grabs a stool and Burleigh has a chance to experiment behind the bar. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pat and I talk all the time. He knows much more about food â&#x20AC;&#x201D; whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in, what he can get. Different ideas, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll play it off them. If I have an idea, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be, like, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Hey, what do you think about this?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; And heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll bring something in and, like, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Oh! Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s do this kind of syrup,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; or â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s play with this ingredient.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; We do a lot of back and forth.â&#x20AC;? And having a chef on hand for tasting is just one of added benefits when crafting drinks in a restaurant setting. (caroline@citypaper.net)


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5VFTEBZ 5IVSTEBZ QNQN 'SJEBZ 4BUVSEBZ UPQN 4VOEBZ QN 4UI4USFFU  /PNBEQJ[[BDPDPN

THIS SUNDAYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S (3/30) MOVIE

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Las Bugambilias A Traditional Mexican Restaurant 148 South Street, Philadelphia, PA 19147 215.922.3190, lasbugambiliasphilly.com Monday 4pm to 10 pm

Tuesday-Thursday & Sunday 11:30 am to 10 pm Friday and Saturday 11:30 am to 11 pm


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merchandise market BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers Crown Molding 25 Colors, Never Installed! Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033

Bed lthr Q$169 K$220 P-top matt set Q$175 K$275 exfurn.com 215-752-0911

2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, 30 jets, stone cabinet. Cover. Never installed. Cost $7K. Ask $2,850. Will deliver. 610-952-0033. Thermospas Manhattan 6 Person Luxury Hot Tub $7500.00. Perfect condition. Call 908-692-3377

Diabetic Test Strips Needed pay up to $25/box. Most brands. 610-453-2525 FILMS - 8mm, 16mm, projectors, screens, etc. Best Offer. Call 856-478-2461

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apartment marketplace

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563

Golden Retriever Pups - AKC, M & F , S/W, vet checked. Call 267-980-8027 GREAT DANE PUPS Registered, shots/wormed & vet checked. Parents on Prem, Sire is a Champion, $1,200 609364-4360 Greater Swiss Mountain Puppies. M & F. $750 firm. (856) 693-2819 Jack Russels Pups, look out, here they come! Ded Brdr. Call 610-682-4576 LAB PUPS READY NOW MUST COME SEE!!! 100% GAUR. 215-768-4344 LAB PUPS - Yellow & black, grandfather, BOB, Westminister. Call 570-589-1465 Pekingese 4M, 1F 8wks $375-$495. Adorable Babies! 215-579-1922 PIT BULL PUPS - Beautiful blues available, serious inquiries only. 267-320-5063 Rottweiler Puppies. Purebred, great temperments, born 11/6/12, 3 females, $500. Parents on site. Call 856-296-6578 Yorkie Pup - Male AKC 10 wks 1st shots, Vet checked, dewormed. 215-885-4270 Yorkie Puppies - A KC reg. vet checked home raised. Call 215-490-2243 Yorkie Pups - 9 wks old, AKC, vet chkd & cert., family raised, parents on premises. M $600, F $650. Call 610-308-2630 Yorkie/Terrier Pups 100% Pure bred, AKC, gorgeous, shots. 610-335-6123

1206 S. 60th St. 1st floor, 1br $650 utils. included. 267-593-4489 5430 Angora Terrace, 2BR/1BA $775 1st floor. 215-324-4424 67xx Chester Ave. 1BR $600+utils 1st flr., hdwd flrs., new kitch., pvt. entr., fncd. bckyd., easy parking, 2mi. from Airport, I-95, close to pub. trans. Call 540630-3716

2xx S. 50th 2BR $750 newly remod, 1st flr (267)243-3518 58th & Catherine St. 2BR $475 kitchen & bath, separate entrance & utils. 2nd floor. Call (215)817-2169 60xx Cedarhurst St. 1br $600+utils. Clean, fresh paint, hdwd flrs, close to transp. sec. dep. Call 215-880-0612 W. Phila 2, 3 & 4BR apts. Avail Now Move in Special! 215-386-4791 or 4792

50xx Baltimore Ave. 1 and 2BR’s $675$750. 1st mo. rent free. (215) 651-8973

19th & Erie $90/wk, private bath, W/D, SSI ok. Call 215-920-6394 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659

5853 N. Camac 1BR $660 + utils 267-271-6601 or 215-416-2757 60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ nr Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534

3331 N 16th St. 2BR/1BA $845 Sacious 2& 3 BR apts w/washer & dryer d/w, carpeted BRs, new flrs & wifi! CALL TODAY!! 267-312-6852

25xx Seltzer - Rooms for rent, SSI ok, utils. incl. Call 267-702-7927 37xx N. Gratz (18th & Erie) Large clean room. Share kit. & bth. Must have no prior evictions. 484-318-1359 after 5:30pm.

55/Thompson deluxe quiet furn $115$145wk priv ent $200 sec 215-572- 8833 61st & Chester Ave., newly renovated rm, $125/wk. $250/dep. 267.456.2808 880 N. 41st, room @ $425/month shared kitchen & bath, 215-713-7216 Allegheny $90/wk. $270 sec dep. Near EL train, furn, quiet. Call 609-703-4266

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $735-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 5211 Greene St. 1br $650+utils Great location. Call 610-287-9857 6317 Morton St 1BR $630 Newly renovated. Near bus stop. 2nd floor. Storage. Gar parking. 215-852-3968

13xx Mt. Pleasant Ave. 1 $695 1st Flr duplex. nr trans, 215-313-5132 66xx Blakemore St 1BR Euro style $525+utils, 1st/last/sec. 215.849.8581

1414 W. 71st Ave 1br $625, 2br $800 both incl utils. Close to trans & shopping. 215-574-2111 East Oaklane 1br $600 Discount for voucher/cert. 267-971-5981

8xx Wynnewood Rd 2br $695+ New reno, new w/w cpt 215.908.4613 Apartment Homes $625-$875 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

65xx Souder St. 3BR $895+ gar., w/w, w/d, avl imm. 215-459-6819 9926 Haldeman 2BR/1BA $785/mo + CA, w/w crpt, DW, 1st flr, (215) 317-3577 Mayfair Ditman St. 1BR/1BA $650+util 1st floor unit, no pets. Call 856-366-6871

18xx W. Venango 2br apt start $650 + utils. near Temple. Call 267-339-1662 1927 Middleton 1BR/1BA $600 plus utilities. 215-796-4108

UPPER DARBY AVAIL NOW! LARGE 3BR/1BR mod 2nd fl apt $795/mo pls utils Sec 8 OK! CALL NOW TO SEE!!! 267-872-4709

22nd & ALLEGHENY 2 BR $650/mo. newly renovated, must see! 610.718.6542 33RD ST. 1-2BR $625 & up newly renov, near Univ 215.227.0700, 9-5

13th/Erie furn rms $95 & up/week Priv. ent, single occupancy 215-514-7143 16xx Orthodox St., share bath, $125 and up per wk. Dep req’d. 215-743-9950

Broad/Olney furn refrig micro priv ent $115/$145wk sec $200 215.572.8833

450 Shurs Lane, MANAYUNK PA 3BR 2BA $1,750/month. 2,000 sq ft. Close to train station & Main St. 856-981-7390

15xx Taylor St. 3BR/1BA $850 Sec. 8 ok. Call 267-738-3329 1638 S Taney St. 3br house newly renovated, 267-455-3273

$700

24xx S. 57th St. 2br/1ba $675 + utils Sec. 8 ok. Call 215-688-3689 56xx Thomas Ave. 3BR $925 W/D incl. Call 267-600-9569

13xx N. Wanamaker St. 3BR/1BA $825 1st, last, 1mo. sec. req’d. 267-255-1895 2BR & 3BR Houses Sec. 8 Welcome

Beautifully renovated Call (267)981-2718

West Phila 1br- 6br $800+ Sec. 8 housing. w/w, h/w, w/d, Call 267-773-8265

Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $300 sec, $90/wk & up. 215-526-1455 Frankford rooms $90-$105/wk Everything incl. Sec dep req. 215-432-5637

Overbrook Park 3BR Call 610-642-5655

$1175

Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 Germantown, furn., good loc. clean, quiet reasonable, 12-8p. 215-849-8994 Mt Aires 61xx Chew Ave Univ 2xx Melville $85-$125/wk215-242-9124

N. Phila. - Large Room, private kitchen & bath, $150/wk. Call 267-992-2063

Olney and N Phila. $85 and up furn, kit privs, coin-op, crpt. 516-527-0186 Overbrook $450/mo, Must see, immediate move in 267-721-7345 Richmond room for one person Seniors welcome $400/mo 215-634-1139 S. 59th St. near El, furn. room, a/c, fridge, $95/wk., $95 sec. 215-472-8119 SOUTHWEST Newly renov’d, nicely furnished, A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764

SW Phila. - $95/week. Furnished w/ cable. Call 267-608-8408 West Phila, Fully furn, new luxury rooms Bedding, refrig, microwave, ceiling fans, recessed lighting, bath in rooms, $100-$200/weekly. Call (215) 778-2140

W. Phila beaut, new reno, $100-$125/ wk. internet ready, 267-258-8727

29th & Girard 3BR $990 LR, DR, spac kitch, no pets. 215-289-2973

53xx Marvine St. 3BR/1BA $795+utils. section 8 ok, no pets. Call 215-539-7866

7xx E Allegheney 3BR/1BA $795 section 8 ok, no pets. Call 215-539-7866

1xxxx Townsand. 3br/1.5ba $1295 granite, W/W, W/D. 215-964-5000 4654 James 2BR/1.5 BA $650 Twin, newly refurbished, quiet street, nice backyard. Available April 1st. Call 215- 624-7100 MAYFAIR 3BR/2.5BA $1250+utils Close to transp. / shops, full bsmt. Avail. April 1st. Call 215-694-4089

212 Powhattan St. 3BR/1.5BA Single home. New kitchen, flooring, Window, AC, bath. Finished basement. Fridge, Stove, Washer/dryer incl. Private driveway and Garage. Close to I95, 76, 495, Airport, Harrah’s, Septa 267-205-6933. Sharon Hill 2BR/1BA Newly remod. Sec. 8 ok. 610-864-6033

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AKC YORKSHIRE TERRIERS - Dep. being taken! 2 females. Very tiny! Parents on premises! Will be ready to go in 3 weeks. Call 609-425-2168 Ask for Dawn. AKITA Puppies AKC $1500 fem. ofa, health certs. Champ lines (215)946-3166 Bernese Mountain Puppies - Health guarantee. Call 717-768-7542 ext. 2 Bichon Poodle Mix Pups - Ready March 15th. Vet checked, shots. (717)278-0932 Boston Terrier Pups - ACA, beautiful, S&W, $595. 610-286-9076. BOXER PUPPIES - 3M, 3F, Shots, Dewormed, T Cropped. 302-655-5957 CANE CORSO PUPS - m & f, blue & fawn, regis., vet checked. Call 267-882-3021 Easter Pekes - White M & rare choc F, first shots, papers, $500 856-553-3158 German Shepherd - F. 9 wks. 100% Euro lines. AKC reg. Shots & dewormed. Parents on prem. $1,100. 856-745-3181 German Shepherd Puppies - V e t checked, health papers, $550 Ready now. Call (610) 273-9802

Caregiver Avail. To care for your loved one Reliable w/car. Call 484-636-7392

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000

homes for rent

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 8 - A P R I L 3 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

jobs

apartment marketplace

**Bob610-532-9408***

everything pets pets/livestock

Coins, MACHINIST TOOLS, Militaria, Swords, Watches Jewelry 215-742-6438 I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662


food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

Collegeville 3BR/3.5BA $1400 + utils. Fin. bsmnt. 610-587-0646

MT. LAUREL 3BR/2.5BA TH $1700 In Stonegate Dev. Newly renov., frsh paint, new appls., no pets/smoking, avail. April 15th. Call Days 856-234-0064 or Evenings 215-579-8868

321 Third Ave 3BR/1.5BA $1,500 per month plus utilities 516-974-8536

low cost cars & trucks Buick Park Avenue 1995 $1,550 all pwrs, nw insp, runs nw. 215-620-9383 Chevy Impala LS 2002 $3000/OBO Runs great. Call 267-441-4612 Chevy Trailblazer LTZ EXT 2002 $3,975 3 rows, leather, roof. 267-592-0448 Chrysler Concord LXI 2004 $2,800 3.5 V6, leather, roof. 267-592-0448 Chrysler Sebring Conv. 2004 $4000 44K miles. Call 215-850-0061

Marlton Condo 2BR/2BA $1200+utils. Lrg, W/D, clean, grt loca. 609-238-2355

Dodge Grand Caravan ES 2003 $3,850 auto doors, DVD, chrome. 267-592-0448

automotive

Dodge Ram 3500 Van 2003 $4500 Runs & looks like new, 96K mi . 609.234.7536

CHEVY Monte Carlo SS 1987 $4500/obo, New Paint, good for inspect, all original, 1990 Cadillac Fleetwood, exc cond, 93k mi, $4000, 1997 Ford F-250 Heavy Duty, 460 Gas Engine, short Bed, 4x4, New Tires, $4000/obo, 610-8531376

HONDA ACCORD EX-L 2010 $11,700 29K mi. good cond. Call 724-571-5650

Ford 2001 F-150 deluxe pickup, extended cab, $4985. A/C, lite commercial, corporate disposal. Call 215-922-5342

Ford Escort 1999 $3,950 58K mi., 1 owner. Call 267-939-5888 Ford Taurus SW 1993 $1,800 83k orig. miles, like new. 215-830-8881 Jeep Grand Cherkoee 4x4 2001 $3600/OBO. Loaded. 267-441-4612 Jeep Grand Cherokee 4x4 1994 $1,350 auto, insp, runs nw. 215-620-9383

Ford 2000 Handicapped Equipped Luxury Hightop Conv Van a/c, full pwr, few orig mi, $7950. 215.928.9632

Mercedes Benz E320 2000 $3,995 lthr, sunroof, gorgeous. 610-524-8835 NISSAN SENTRA GS 2002 $3400/obo Excellent condition, 140K miles. Call 610585-0510

Pontiac Montana 2003. $2500 obo. Cold air, runs exc, V6, 484-363-9311

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING, Call (215) 726-9053

kVolvo V90 SW 1998 $1,950 auto, nw insp, runs nw. 215-620-9383

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market place

ment selection, no minimum bids. Details: 1.410.287.4330 rbauction.com FILTERED CIGARS

Better Than Cigarettes. Only $12.99+ per carton. Large cigars. Pipe Tobacco. $5 off your first order. (800) 613-2447. Coupon code: “ATL” www. cigartiger.com SAWMILLS

Adoptions ADOPTION

ADOPT: Happily married couple wishes to adopt! We promise unconditional love, learning, laughter, wonderful neighborhood , extended family. Expenses paid. (Se habla espanol). www.DonaldEsther. com 1-800-965-5617. PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION?

Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID.Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-4136293 Void in Illinois

Public Notices AIRLINE CAREERS

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715. AUCTIONS

RITCHIE BROS. UNRESERVED PUBLIC EQUIPM E N T AU C T I O N 9 a m Thursday, April 11th. Frankfort Springs (Pittsburgh), PA. Open to public, large equip-

SAWMILLS from only $3997MAKE MONEY & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE info & DVD: www.NorwoodSawmills.com/ 300N 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N. WANTED TO PAY

CASH PAID-uo tio $27/box for sealed., unexpired DIABETIC TEST STRIPS! Top $, FREE shipping, 24hr payments! Call 1-877-396-6143 anytime or visit www.TestStipsBuyer. com now.

Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1888-420-3808 www.cash4car. com

Business Services ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from Home. *Medical *Business *Criminal Justice, Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472. HYPERLINK http.// www.CenturaOnline.com. www/CenturaOnline.com

REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.

Lessons & Workshops ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www. CenturaOnline.com

Home Services PERSONAL ASSISTANT

Needed for chauffering, setting appointments,cleaning, running errands, baking,personal shopping,laundry,walk dogs, banking.Access to car.Paid $450/wk, send your resume to: canly2@ymail.com 267348-4131

mount, Northern Liberties and areas of South Philly.Visit www. puptales.org or email lizatpuptales@gmail.com for more info on our rates and services. Mention this ad and receive 10% off your first week!

LIVE-IN OR HOURLY POSITIONS IN PHILA. AND SUBURBAN AREAS. $100 Bonus for hired live-ins. CALL HEATHER JENNINGS FOR INFORMATION AT 610896-6030

Health Services

Help Wanted – General

UP TO $1,375

in compensation for participation in clinical trials and FREE study-related care by LOCAL DOCTORS. Arthritis, Crohn’s Gout, COPD, Low Back Pain, and Pediatric Depression. 1-888-288-3755. ZUMBA® FITNESS CLASSES

BRAND NAME MAKEUP

Licensed Zumba® Instructor Shandra Staley is offering Classes on Tuesdays from 6:45 to 7:45pm. Calm Studio 1214 Moore Street, South Philadelphia. Classes are only $10 For more info. Contact Instructor at:800-8869897 Voicemail or call Calm Studio at 267-909-8007 You can visit shandra’s website at: sstaley.zumba.com

WE BUY VINTAGE FILM CAMERAS

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For Sale 50% off, Use code AVE, exp 09/30. DivineAndSexy.us

We Buy VINTAGE Film Camera Collections & Photography Equipment. We come to you & pay cash. Call us with details of what you have: 215 504 0101 We do NOT take Digital cameras or Point & Shoots

Pets

jobs

Help Wanted – Regional HOME CARE AIDES WANTED

DOG WALKING SERVICE

Serving all of Center City, Fair-

RELIANCE HOME CARE SEEKING C.N.A.’S FOR

HELP WANTED

Heavy Equipment Operator Career! 3 Weeks Hands On Training School. Bulldozers, Backhoes, Excavators. National Certifications. Lifetime Job Placement Assistance. VA Benefits Eligible! 1-866362-6497. HELP WANTED

Live like a rockstar. Now hiring 10 spontaneous individuals. Travel full time. Must be 18+. Transportation and hotel provided. Call Loraine 877-7772091. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Are you ready to take your career to the next level? Earn your CDL-A and start your driving career with RDTC! Call Kin: 800-535-8420. GoRoehl. com AA/EOE HELP WANTED DRIVER

AVERITT OFFERS CDL-A DRIVERS a Strong, Stable, Profitable Career. Experienced Drivers and Recent Grads-Excellent Benefits, Weekly Hometime. Paid training. 888-362-8608 AverittCareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Company Driver: Solo Regional and OTR Lanes. Com-

Applications accepted on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays at the times specified below. 1200 Market Street, Philadelphia, PA AA/EOE – M/F/D/V

50 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A R C H 2 8 - A P R I L 3 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Do you envision yourself making a career in hospitality? 1 PM Front Desk Agent Doorperson 2 PM Housekeeping Supervisor Housekeeping Dispatcher (Part Time) Room Attendant Housekeeping Houseperson 4PM Restaurant Server Cocktail Server Restaurant Cook III Banquet Cook II (Part Time) Shipping and Receiving Clerk TEAM MEMBER BENEFITS:

Medical, Dental and Vision Insurance, Company Paid Life Insurance, Retirement 401(k) Plan with Company Match, Te a m M e m b e r Tr a v e l D i s c o u n t , H o l i d a y s , Va c a t i o n a n d S i c k P a y, Referral Bonus and Many More!

Professional attire required/Bring your resume No Phone Calls please For detailed job descriptions and position specific requirements, visit:

www.loewshotels.com

Show us your Philly. Submit snapshots of the City of Brotherly Love, however you see it, at:

citypaper.net/photostream

petitive Pay. Great Hometime. CDL-A with 1 year OTR and Hazmat End. Sign-On Bonus. $2000 Solo & $5000 Teams. 888-705-3217 or apply online at www.driveenctrans.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Company Drivers: $2500 SignOn Bonus! Super Service is hiring solo and team drivers. Great hometime options. CDLA required. Call 888-471-7081 or apply online at www.superservicellc.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

CRST offers the Best Lease Purchase Program! SIGN ON BONUS. No Down Payment or Credit Check. Great Pay. Class-A CDL required. Owner Operators Welcome! Call: 866-403-7044. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Driver: Qualify for any portion of $.03/mile quarterly bonus: $.01 Safety, $.01 Production, $.01 MPG. Two raises in 1st year. 3-months OTR experience. 800-414-9569. www. driveknight.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-CDL-A $5,000 SIGNON BONUS For exp’d solo OTR drivers & O/O’s. Tuition reimbursement also available! New Student Pay & Lease Program. USA TRUCK 877521-5775 www.GoUSATruck. com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers: CDL-A TEAM WITH TOTAL. $.50/Mile for Hazmat Teams. Solo Drivers Also Needed! 1 yr. exp. req’d 800942-2104 Ext. 7308 or 7307 www.TotalMS.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT


HELP WANTED DRIVER

GORDON TRUCKING, INC.. CDL-A Drivers Needed! Up to $3,000 SIGN ON BONUS...Refrigerated Fleet & Great Miles! Up to .46 cpm w/10 years experience. Full Benefits, 401k, EOE. No N.E. Runs! TeamGTI.com EOE 866-554-7856. HELP WANTED DRIVER

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Owner Operators: $3,000 Sign-On Bonus. Excellent Rate & Paid FSC. Home Daily. 80% Drop & Hook. Great Fuel & Tire Discounts. L/P available. CDL-A with 1 year tractor-trailer experience required. 888-703-3889 or apply online at www.comtrak.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Pyle Transportation needs owner Operators!! Containerized Pier Operations! Jersey & Philadelphia. Average $1.85/Mile. Requires 2-Yrs. OTR Exp. Call Dan @ 888477-0020 Ext. 7 or apply: www.driveforpyle.com HELP WANTED!

Make extra money in our free ever popular homailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www.easyworkfromhome. com HELP WANTED/SALES

EARN $500 A DAY: Insurance Agents Needed; Leads, No Cold Calls; Commissions Paid Daily; Lifetime Renewa l s ; C o m p l e t e Tr a i n i n g ; Health & Dental Insurance; Life License Required. Call: 1-888-713-6020.

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com PAID IN ADVANCE

Paid in Advance! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Oppor tunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailingstation.com

Research DIABETES PATIENTS NEEDED

Paid marketing research focus groups for diabetes patients taking oral medication, taking place in Center City Phila week of 3/11. Call 1-800-220-3730 and ask for study #50047CP or go to http://bit.ly/50047CP to answer the screener questions. Participants will earn $75-$145 for 1 to 2.5 hrs of time.

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real estate

Homes for Sale TREE TOPS AT TERRACE LL

This New Construction Home is Gorgeous. Don’t miss your opportunity to live in one of the best pockets in Manayunk. With Beautiful stack stone front with copper bays. Great ROOF TOP DECK views of Manayunk’s bridge, city views of Ben Franklin bridge. Walk to Manayunk from the famous 100 steps across the street. Enter this home through a Gorgeous Mahogany Front Door or your private garage into the lower level. Offers a

bright open floor plan with an amazing wet bar, walk out to a private yard. 2nd floor offers beautiful Great room space with a fabulous high end kitchen. Spacious living area, dinning and half bath. Bright Master bedroom, closets and huge gorgeous marble bath. 2 additional bedrooms and a custom sleek full bath and a laundry area finish the upper level. Fabulous rooftop deck with awesome views to entertain & watch fireworks! This SS energy star appliances. High efficiency, passive home concept offers LOW monthly bills, tank-less hot water heater, high energy heater and AC, top quality low E windows. 10yr tax abatement. Walk to all that Manayunk offers, yoga studios, shopping, great dining. Close to trans, CC, 76. Make your appointment today. Ready for you to just move in and enjoy this Contemporary one of a kind home.home has many features that a PASSIVE Home has. Which means LOW COST utilities. Ask for details. Call Michele Cooley 267-688-0488 for more info Open House Every Sunday 12-2pm 209 & 211 Roxborough Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19128

Land/ Lots for Sale LAND FOR SALE

Lake Sale, NY: 5 acres Salmon River Lake $29,900. 7 acres 100’ on bass lake $39,900. 8 acres Waterfront Home $99,900. Local Financing Available. www.LandFirstNY. com 1-888-683-2626. LAND FOR SALE

NEW YORK STATE LAND SALE-Former Scout Camp Was: $69,900 NOW: $39,900. 7 Acres on River Was: $49,900 NOW: $39,900. Adirondacks8 Acres Was $21,900 NOW: $17,900. Direct Financing w/Low Payments. Call: 1800-229-7843 www.landandcamps.com

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND.

Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800-638-2102 Online reservations: www. holidayoc.com.

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rentals

jonesin’

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By Matt Jones

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“CLASSICAL REMIX” — RECOMPOSING COMPOSERS

Apartments for Rent SPACIOUS-BRIGHT 1 BEDROOM

classifieds

Owner Operator : Experienced CDL-A Owner Operators Wanted. $2,000 Solo Sign-On Incentive & $5,000 Team Sign-On Incentive. Long Haul Freight. Competitive Pay Package. Paid loaded and empty miles. Also hiring Company Teams. Call 866-938-7803 or apply online at www.drivectrans.com

$$$HELP WANTED$$$

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

PAY/Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com

1012 Spruce St. - Strickland Row - large (approx. 1000 sq. ft.) one bedroom unit; new granite/stainless high-end kitchen; hardwood floors; large, open living area with good wester n exposure; multiple, deep closets and storage space in bedroom. Washer/dryer in-unit. Condo amenities:heated outdoor pool, roof top deck, ample courtyard and patio space for grills/bikes/etc. Utilities included! $1650.00 a month. Avail. June 1 Call Tom at 215-219-6132 for showing today!

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! V i s i t : h t t p : / / w w w. R o o m mates.com.

Real Estate Marketplace AMERICA’S BEST BUY!

20 acres-only $99/month! $0 down, no credit checks, MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. Owner financing. West Texas beautiful Mountain View! Free color brochure. 1-800-755-8953 www.sunsettranches.com

By Emily Flake

1 6 11 14 15 16 17 19 20 21 23 25 26 29 30 32 34 36 39 41 43 44 46 47 49 51 52 54 56 59 63 64

Insult hurled at 30-across Mediterranean island nation Two for Juan? Block, as an Arctic ship Message sender SETI hopes to detect Hose problem Photography size, based on Elgar? Lance with a gavel Driver around Hollywood Spectator The Price Is Right game Ernie’s special friend Reverberate “Wowzers!” South Park protagonist Understand fully Dropped a line Longtime Harry Belafonte label Polite Shakespeare nickname Bizarre Tahrir Square’s country Disturbed “If it feels right, do it” Public regard Caustic substances Scotch mixer Chew out Game where you tug on your ear Smokin’ Rand of Atlas Shrugged 2013 dance all over YouTube, based on Mahler?

66 67 68 69 70 71

Was winning Went on the radio Toss option “Gangnam Style” rapper Times to eat cake, casually Dark-skinned wine grape

✚ DOWN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 18 22 24 26 27 28 30 31 33 35 37 38 40 42

Get on tape Berry in juices Sea bird Stake out by the road, perhaps Reporter April, friend of the Ninja Turtles Great Leap Forward name Jovial weatherman Pole dance? Loose-leaf selections Stud fee? Seriously irritate, based on Verdi? Like a rind Make pig noises Bridesmaids director Paul Diamond stat Word before created or elected Breakfast brand Street ___ Useful, based on Haydn? Numerical suffix Diver’s place Banana shell Weasel’s cousin Plains language Contributes Driving force Did some farm work

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

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✚ ©2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

45 “The Pelvis” 48 Rowboat mover 50 Chicken ___ (dish on The Sopranos) 52 Make some money off those tickets 53 “I just remembered ...” 54 Quotable Yogi 55 Tries out 57 Moby Dick captain 58 “Pore Jud Is ___” (Rodgers and Hammerstein song) 60 It’ll grow on you 61 Tulsa’s st. 62 New age musician/former TV host John 65 Alt-weekly workers, briefly

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 8 - A P R I L 3 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

lulueightball

✚ ACROSS


billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

MARCH 28 - APRIL 3, 2013 CALL 215-735-8444

Village Belle Restaurant and Bar

As the season changes,stop in to see our spring selections and menu. Let us handle your holiday needs as we celebrate with an Easter buffet thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sure to please 757 South Front St Corner of Fitzwater Street in Queens Village 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON TAP AT THE WATKINS DRINKERY?

NAKED GINGER SNAP WHEAT OSCAR BLUES GKNIGHT 21st AMMENDMENT BITTER AMERICAN DOGFISH HEAD CHICORY STOUDT All that and more at the Watkins Drinkery in South Philadelphia. Corner of 10th & Watkins 215-339-0175

FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

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PRIVATE PARTIES & GIFT CERTIFICATES 757 south front street, at ďŹ tzwater. 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com

LAS VEGAS LOUNGE

Serving 20 oz Drafts, NOT 16. SIZE DOES MATTER. 704 Chestnut Street 215-592-9533 www.LasVegasLounge.com

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU WILL FIND @ the BIZARRE BAZAAR!

Fashion Fetish?

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true! Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re here and delivered daily! 1356 North Front Street 215-634-6430

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE

I BUY RECORDS, CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

SUN BRUNCH 10:30-3:30

Now thru 4/7 @ Off-Broad Street Theater www.azukatheatre.org

LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S Vegan Burritos, Wraps and Salads Now Available at the EL BAR!

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

LUNCH SAT 11-4,

Azuka Theatre Presents Everyone and I

12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

DINNER TUES-THURS 5-10, FRI-SAT 5-11,

Cultural Cool-lectibles, Curios, Fun Junk! 720 South 5th St, Philly See our TATTOO history display!

Building Blocks to Total Fitness

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village belle

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

$2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

Vendor Space Available

Consignment Marketplace 4001 Main St., Manayunk 215-298-9534 Good traffic - Good parking Low rent Great opportunity for small creative retailers

ACHTUNG BABY, BGIERSTUBE B ERMAN IERGARTEN BURGERS, BRATS AND 200+ BEERS FO SHIZZLE MA SCHNITZEL! 206 Market St. 215-922-2958

A HOUSE OF LAGERS

Mon-Wed 5pm-2am, Thurs-Sun 11am-2am

Reser vations at www.mybierstube.com


Philadelphia City Paper, March 28th, 2013