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c typaper [ P H I L A D E L P H I A ]


May 31 - June 6, 2012 #1409 |

NEWS | Goose down and dirty

MUSIC | The Rhetts of Spring  FOOD | All good things must end

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Egg Donors Needed

cpstaff We made this

Looking for healthy young women

Make a dream come true! Become an egg donor College students and recent graduates Non-smoking Ages 21-28


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Earn $7,000 for donating your eggs



Please contact Terri, our Egg Donor Coordinator


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Superior Care Every Step Of The Way 123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright Š 2012, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.



Donors are seen at our Bryn Mawr ofďŹ ce located 12 miles from Center City - within walking distance of the Bryn Mawr SEPTA station or Norristown High Speed Line.

Main Line Fertility

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Food Editor Drew Lazor Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Associate Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Bernard Brown, Chris Brown, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Ryan Carey, Jane Cassady, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair “Dev 79� Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Cassie Owens, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Courtney Sexton, Lee Stabert, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Madeline Bates, Michael Blancato, Sabrina Golphin, Katie Linton, Brittany Thomas, Alexandra Weiss, Nina Willbach, Andrew Wimer Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Sales Intern Chelsee Lebowitz Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

Let’s cross the Delaware!


Naked City ...................................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................18 Movies.........................................................................................23


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The Agenda ..............................................................................27 Food & Drink ...........................................................................35 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY EVAN M. LOPEZ

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the thebellcurve


CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -1 ]

The Barnes Museum accidentally issues too many free preview tickets, leading to long delays for some visitors. Atmosphere of inaccessibility: preserved!

[ + 1 ] Former editor-in-chief of the Daily News

Michael Days returns to that post, replacing Larry Platt. And as his parachute unfolds into the night sky, Platt is heard to wonder aloud: “I was editor-in-chief?”

[ + 1 ] Former Philadelphian walks around New York City topless to raise awareness of her right to do so there. Awareness raised.

[ -1 ]

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg defends his aggressive stop-and-frisk program by linking Philly’s rising crime and murder rate with the 2011 ACLU classaction lawsuit that decreased stop-andfrisks here. Sounds like somebody wants to frisk a certain former Philadelphian.

[ -1 ]

The Philly Department of Public Health is looking for other victims after one patron of Fishtown’s Barcade is diagnosed with measles. God, that place is retro.

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[ -1 ]

A rabid raccoon is spotted in Wissahickon Park. “Settle down. It’s just measles,” says raccoon, riding home on his penny-farthing bicycle. “I hope nobody beats my Golden Axe score while I’m home sick.”

[ 3]

The state Fish and Boat Commission says factors like algae and hand sanitizer are making fish sick in the Susquehanna River. “What we need is fin sanitizer,” says fish. “But seriously, it’s the fracking. The fracking is killing us.”


Authorities say they won’t press charges against the babysitter whose boyfriend put a child in a washing machine in a Camden laundromat. They will, however, press “spin cycle,” because that shit is funny.


[ + 1 ] Members of the Philadelphia Orchestra head to China for a 10-day residency. Assuming they don’t defect.

[ + 1 ] A Miami news anchor accidentally refers

to the Sixers as “the Philadelphia 69ers.” “Accident? I’ve seen them play,” she says. “They suck at both ends.”

This week’s total: -3 | Last week’s total: 1


[ up … stuff creek ]

GONE A-FOWL A reporter visits a forgotten island in the Schuylkill — and finds himself outnumbered. By Isaiah Thompson


or years, it had beckoned: The tiny island, sitting smack dab in the middle of the Schuylkill River — just daring this reporter to get there. What was it? More importantly, what was on it? (My best guess: treasure.) On a recent Sunday afternoon, I pulled up to the Schuylkill’s western bank with the cheapo inflatable kayak I had purchased on eBay in a delirious moment — and slipped into the murky waters to find out. The island is little more than 100 feet from the shore (fortunate, since said kayak currently leaks just a little less quickly than you can pump it back up). I aimed for the island’s only notable characteristic, a set of grandiose stone steps on its northern side, leading up from the water like the stairs of an ancient temple. A few minutes later, I scrambled onto them, and discovered not gold, but goose feces. Lots and lots of goose feces. Peter’s Island, as the little mound turns out to be named (even on Google Maps), has left a surprisingly faint trail in Philly history, considering how long it’s been there. Illustrations of it date back at least to the early 1800s (in them, it looks considerably less ominous than it does now). By the mid-20th century, the island had actually ceased to be an island at all, according to Adam Levine, a historical consul-

tant for the Philadelphia Water Department who runs the website A mountain of sludge — the remnants, Levine says, of a century of coal mining that had washed its way to Philly — had simply extended the river’s western bank all the way to the island. It remained a peninsula until some time in the 1950s, when the western channel was dredged back into existence, and the sludge pumped 11 miles southwest to create land in Eastwick, near the airport. Aside from that, Peter’s Island seems to have been relatively overlooked by mankind. Which is probably why another species went ahead and took it over. The place is littered, it turns out, with goose nests, enough that it’s hard not to step on one by accident. And doing that would be unpleasant indeed, because in the nests are goose eggs — and sitting on some of those goose eggs are geese. I discovered this by almost walking into one. The goose didn’t budge from its squat, but craned its neck menacingly. As I fumbled with a camera (see photos on the Naked City blog), I was ambushed by another, nonnest-squatting goose, who’d been hiding in the brush and then came at me, hissing. I feinted sideways, not wanting to cede ground on my southward march, until another goose appeared from the opposite direction, also hissing. I retreated. That’s just as well, says Chris Crockett, Deputy Commissioner for Planning and Environmental Services at the Philadelphia Water Department, who pointed out to me over the phone that geese are federally protected animals. Crockett first visited the island himself about 13 years ago, during

It came at me, hissing.

>>> continued on page 10

the naked city

[ a million stories ]

✚ CUTTING BACK “Look at what PECO is doing to the trees! It’s terrible.” When CP stopped by the Kensington headquarters of Finanta recently to discuss challenges facing one of its clients, the nonprofit’s president, Luis Mora, was just as concerned about the scene of destruction outside his office window. The trees had been denuded of upward-reaching branches, stripped into gnarled Yshaped or T-shaped or (saddest) lowercase-r-shaped skeletons — a horticultural freak show.

The not-so-shady situation on Thompson Street is being replicated around the city: PECO Energy recently announced a $1.4 million, 300-mile pruning campaign in Passyunk Square, Cedar Park, Pennsport, Eastwick and elsewhere. And that’s just a fraction of the $28 million the utility will spend this year on “vegetation management,” as spokeswoman Liz Williamson terms it. She says PECO’s pruning technique, while it ain’t pretty, is approved by the American National Standards Institute. Trained arborists undertake what’s called “directional pruning,” returning to trees on a five-year cycle. Aesthetics are not considered. “Our primary concern is to … avoid power outages,” she says. However, “The health of the tree is taken into account.” Yet this approach does compromise the health of trees, according to Mindy Maslin, of the Philadelphia Horticultural Society’s Tree Tenders program. “I can’t say across the board that where they prune trees they’re going to die, but it does have an impact.” Jacelyn Blank of Philly Tree People is philosophical about overvigorous pruners. “The Asplundh truck is not a friend of tree lovers, but the crews out pruning in Philadelphia neighborhoods are only doing what they are contracted to do,” she says. The good

news: Trees now being planted — the mayor wants to boost Philly’s tree cover to 30 percent, even as utilities hack away at it — are of lower-growing stock, more appropriate for city streets. And her group is offering pruning lessons, to keep branches in check early on. In the meantime, there is a simple alternative to arboreal mutilation: Shorten the five-year pruning cycle. As it is, Maslin says, “They make larger cuts and cut many more branches than they would if they cut more frequently. If they could come back every few years, they wouldn’t need to do as much damage.” Of course, that would cost more — which makes it an unlikely fix. “Their approach to tree-pruning is just different,” Maslin says. “It’s not that they’re bad people.Their bottom line is different.” —Samantha Melamed

✚ PAVING THE WAY The first bike trips this reporter ever took as a kid began with a very simple idea: Pick a road and follow it as far as humanly possible (which, at age 7, was on the scale of magnitude of a mile or so; but still). On Thursday (the day this paper goes to print), a remarkable news conference is supposed to be taking place in which Mayor Michael Nutter, Camden Mayor Dana L. Redd and the Bicycle Coalition of Greater Philadelphia will be announcing the inauguration not just of a bike lane or a bike trail, but of a veritable velocepedic vision that revolves around that primordial desire to go and go and go. They call it “The Circuit.” For a long time now, the BCGP has emphasized the idea of “connectivity” when it comes to bike lanes, bike paths, “sharrows” (they’re just painted arrows that remind cars to share the lanes they’re legally obligated to share, regardless of what Stu >>> continued on page 8

photostream ³ submit to


By Isaiah Thompson

REBELLION! ³ THERE EXISTS, in Philly, something called “The Machine.” It is not, in the technical sense, a machine. It doesn’t have springs or print receipts or open cans. It does, however, dominate political power, and that’s what it was built to do. Yet the cracks may be starting to show. There was the election last November of City Commissioners Al Schmidt and Stephanie Singer, a Republican and a Democrat, respectively, who ran against machinebacked incumbents. There was the vote just last week to oust longtime Philadelphia Republican City Committee chairman Vito Canuso by a group of insurgent Philly Republicans. And then there’s the peculiar case of Tracey Gordon v. the Democratic City Committee — about as literal a challenge to The Machine as it gets. The story goes back to 2010, when Gordon, a community activist who ran an unsuccessful campaign last May for City Council’s 2nd District, ran for committeeperson without party backing. She won — but was ousted by party bosses, who cited an obscure bylaw allowing them to throw out “disloyal” members. Gordon sued the Democratic City Committee (DCC), supported by a group called the Philadelphia Democratic Progressive Caucus (PDPC), whose mission is, essentially, to open up the city’s murky political process (including, in some cases, to themselves — Singer was a founding member). The suit, filed by attorney and PDPC member Irv Acklesberg, argues that the DCC had no right to oust a duly elected committeeperson. Last week, the story took a turn when Gordon received an invitation, via her attorney, to a ward meeting where she’d be re-elected to her position. Now a Deputy City Commissioner in Singer’s office, Gordon cannot engage in political activity; being a sitting committeeperson would violate that rule. DCC attorney Dan McCaffery says the reasoning was simple. “The relief she was requesting was to be reinstated,” he says. “So we reinstated her.” Acklesberg disagrees. “It was a trap,” he says, a ruse to get Gordon caught politicking. On her behalf, he declined the invitation. When, on May 18, Gordon was re-elected anyway, in absentia, Acklesberg immediately submitted Gordon’s resignation. The lawsuit, however, continues. “The case was never just about [Gordon],” Acklesberg says. The DCC’s bosses “want to retain the power to nullify elections, and the purpose of this lawsuit is to make sure that there is no such legal power.” PDCP wants more Democrats to “stand up for office and stand up to this dictatorial party.” ✚ Send feedback to

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[ is a veritable velocepedic vision ]


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✚ a million stories <<< continued from page 7

Bykofsky has to say about it) and other bike




JUNE 5 • 7PM

Christ Church Neighborhood House, 20 North American Street (19106 Phila)


Equality PA, GALEI, Old Pine Street Presbyterian, William Way, Yes! Coalition and the Episcopal Church’s Southwark Deanery

More info:

accommodations. It’s a logical enough idea: A bike lane or trail is a lot more useful when it connects to another one and, you know, goes somewhere. It’s the reasoning behind the bike lanes on Spruce and Pine, which connect the two rivers; it’s the reasoning behind the bike-friendly ramp being built for the South Street Bridge, extending the Schuylkill River Trail down to Bartram’s Garden. And it’s the impetus for Thursday’s announcement, which unveils a new plan to create a bicycle “circuit” that will extend throughout the region. The idea, says Bicycle Coalition executive director Alex Doty, is: “Wherever you live in Greater Philadelphia, the Delaware Valley, Camden … if you walk out your door, you could look north, south, east or west, and know you can ride all day on trails.” To do that, a coalition of groups is working to create, complete and — most important — connect bike trails. They’ve already published an online map (still in development) showcasing the vision under the moniker “Connect the Circuit,” which you can see for yourself at It’s an ambitious project, not least because it involves the cooperation of biking and other groups across the whole region. The circuit may take a decade to complete, Doty acknowledges. But he also points out that a decade is not, in bike-trail years, that long. The Schuylkill River Trail, which begins (or ends, depending) in Philly’s Fairmount Park and hopes to extend, unbroken, past the Appalachian Trail near Pottsville, has been in the works for longer than that. “It’s still not finished now,” Doty points out, “and it still gets a million riders a year.” —Isaiah Thompson

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✚ VICIOUS CYCLE The manifest destiny of cycling advocates doesn’t always jibe with the outlook in neighborhoods run through with freshly painted bike lanes. Which is why Councilman William Greenlee has revived a bill he had introduced a year ago to steer new bike lanes straight through City Council. He says it’s a move toward transparency!

And community input! And Council participation! Except, all of those things kind of already exist. For four years now, the Mayor’s Office of Transportation and Utilities (MOTU) has been adding bike lanes by piloting them first, installing temporary lanes and then doing traffic studies, according to Andrew Stober, chief of staff at MOTU. (The office is big on piloting: everything from changing bus stops to adding pedestrian plazas to installing garbage disposals. Stober calls it a “philosophy of government” that involves responding to needs, trying things out and keeping what works.) Community meetings and discussions with district Council members are already part of the process. For lanes on 10th and 13th streets in Chinatown, MOTU went door to door, provided bilingual information and collected more than 100 letters from

residents and businesspeople. Greenlee’s bill, which has been amended to apply only to lanes that replace a lane of traffic or parking, would formalize that process, which many agree is a good idea. But Council involvement will also slow things down, Stober says. “I’m not sure that, if Council had had to preapprove the bike lanes on Spruce and Pine, if that would have gotten through. What everyone saw afterward was there weren’t significant impacts on traffic, there were a lot of cyclists using it and the chaos people thought would happen never materialized.” Accidents on Spruce and Pine declined by 44 percent. At a Council hearing Tuesday, Greenlee expressed skepticism about previous pilots: He said he’d heard in Chinatown the lanes were a “fait accompli.”

“The chaos never materialized.” (Part of the 10th Street lane was, in fact, recently removed following its pilot run.) But he agreed to amend his bill to add an eight-month pilot process, thereby neutralizing much of the opposition on the spot. “As far as I’m concerned,” he said, “this is just being consistent” with governance of other changes to roadways. Still, Sarah Clark Stuart, policy director at the Bicycle Coalition, has reservations. The best time to install a lane is when streets are being repaved, she says, on an (ever-lengthening) cycle of 15 or 20 years. “The repaving process requires a lot of planning, and then contracts, then coordination with other agencies. … To overlay an ordinance on top of that process could hamper the ability of the city to include a bike lane in the repaving plan,” Stuart says. “If that opportunity is missed, you’ve lost that opportunity to paint the bike lane in for

another 15 to 20 years.” —S.M.

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[ the naked city ]

 Gone A-Fowl

<<< continued from page 6

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“You couldn’t set foot on the island. It was in an uproar.” a time when the little island had its last, brief fling with public attention, thanks to a goose population that had gotten, Crockett says, out of control. “Back in the day,” he says, “once you got out there you couldn’t set foot on the island; before you even got onto it they started hissing and honking. and if you did get off on the island, the whole place was in an uproar! It was a very intense kind of experience.” using Peter’s Island as a base, the geese would swim to the Schuylkill’s banks in Fairmount Park and gorge themselves on its grassy lawns. They destroyed vegetation, laid bare fields and, of course, pooped. a lot. “you ever hear the term, ‘Slippery as goose … stuff ’?” Crockett asks. “That [bike] trail was pretty slippery.” They still do all of these things, of course — but it was worse, Crockett says. much worse. “Hundreds. We’re talking about hundreds and hundreds of geese. maybe 125 or more in a single parking lot,” he says. “It became tons of poop per year.” Peter’s Island — and the stream of goose poop that flows from it — happens to be situated a short ways upstream of the city’s main water intake for

the Schuylkill River. and stuff, as it were, flows downstream. The Water Department began reviewing ways to cut down on the pollution and, in 1999, the Daily News and local TV news stations flocked to the story, helping prompt a brief goose frenzy. “People were sending me goose recipes,” Crockett recalls, laughing. In the years since, the Water Department and the Department of Parks & Recreation have pursued a plan of goose discouragement, planting vegetation that geese don’t like at the edge of the water and putting up signs to discourage people from feeding them. according to recent goose surveys the Water Department has conducted, the numbers have gone down dramatically, Crockett says. When I described being chased by just two geese, he seemed genuinely pleased: “The numbers are down,” he remarked, “and the geese still have their little island. So everybody got something they needed.” (

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ HOW EASY IS it for frequent collaborators to

get sick of each other? Artistic partners are like marrieds, right, ready to fight or fuck at a moment’s notice? In the case of expatriate Philadelphia playwright/composer Michael Ogborn and Arden Theater co-founder and artistic director Terrence J. Nolen, all is truly ducky — especially when you consider that the Ogborn-written, Nolen-directed Tulipomania: The Musical, which premieres at the Arden this week, is the pair’s third collaboration. Ogborn, currently readying Baby Case for the New York Musical Festival in July, recalls his first meeting with Nolen as a sing-song-y one: “Sitting next to him on the piano bench, playing any song for him. … He was as excited as I am about musicals and could instantly see what I was: a kindred spirit and a smart one.” Audiences have grown with Ogborn — he’s been producing original work in Philly since 1982 — and are willing to follow. That’s why he premieres new pieces here: “I know who I am here.” The first time playwright and Arden associate Michael Hollinger mentioned the title Tulipomania, Ogborn says, “I saw the play in my head — not fully formed, but the mood and tone were immediate. It was a topic I could spend years exploring and still discover new things.” That topic is Holland’s tulip craze of the 1630s, the world’s first recorded economic bubble — it tracks strangely well onto Wall Street speculation of the modern era. As for getting sick of Nolen or the Arden as his Philly-theater wife, Ogborn laughs, “I think your question should be: Is Terry sick of me? So far we’ve got three kids — Baby Case, Café Puttanesca and now Tulipomania. ... It’s like childbirth, I hear: The pain is forgotten once the baby arrives.” ³ While biking hipsters with a yen for BBQ and craft brews converge on Morgan’s Pier, Four Corners Management’s now-ancient acquisition of six weeks ago, Ortlieb’s Lounge,is undergoing major changes. Gone are the comedy nights and most DJ events: It’ll be live-and-local with bookings courtesy Jimbo from R5 Productions to go with Tuesday’s jazz jam, Wednesday’s funk and Slo-n-Shakey’s Thursday blues bash. “Hopefully, those nights will stay scheduled forever,” says FCM’s Mark Fichera. ³Blondell Reynolds Brown— Twitter enthusiast, ex-dancer, proponent of all-night bars — hosts her Old School Dance Party June 1 at the African American Museum. Bet she’ll have a fresher rap than Nutter. ³ Newly minted Philadelphian John Wesley Harding just got an NPR slot for his monthly live mix of comics, musicians and novelists, Cabinet of Wonders.The six-episode show will air on WXPN starting this Tuesday at 8 p.m. More info at ³ On other sites, other wonders: More ice at (

SPRINGBOARD: (L-R) James Smith, James Cleare and Heather Robb of The Spring Standards have been making music together since they were kids. SHERVIN LAINEZ

[ rock/folk ]

PICTURE THIS How an Old 97 breathed new life into some local kids’ lost song. By M.J. Fine


hett Miller’s songs have always been full of ladies, women and girls, but aside from Rachael Yamagata’s cameo on the bittersweet “Fireflies,” from 2006’s The Believer, and — going all the way back to 1997 — Exene Cervenka’s scary-sexy turn on the Old 97’s blistering “Four Leaf Clover,” the female voice has largely been absent from his records. The Dreamer, out Tuesday on Miller’s own Maximum Sunshine label, rectifies that. Yamagata returns for three songs, including the dark standout “Out of Love,” and Rosanne Cash appears on three others, including the twangy duet “As Close As I Came to Being Right.” Heather Robb of area expats The Spring Standards sits in for six more. “Rosanne Cash was part of the inspiration for it. She and I were writing the duet that’s on the record together, and we went in and demoed it,” Miller says. “I’d been thinking for a long time about singing more with women, and hearing her voice with my voice on the tape made me realize that now was the time and that this record needed to have female vocalists all over it.” A few extra voices aren’t the only difference on Miller’s sixth solo record. It features more slide and steel guitars than any Old 97’s album, several songwriting collaborations, and relatively little studio time. Now that Miller’s producing and releasing his

own work, he has to keep an eye on the bottom line. That meant cutting most of the album live and adding the background vocals in a few hours. Robb says Miller trusted her to do her thing. “He gave me a lot of creative freedom and there didn’t need to be a long writing process,” she says. “I just did my homework, got to the studio and made the most of the one day that I had available.” At the heart of The Dreamer is “Picture This,” a reverie of domestic life befitting a married father of two. It paints a blissful scene of sweethearts whose love only grows stronger amid the demands of kids and chores. “I’m tired, but I’m not too tired for you,” Miller and Robb coo. “There’s only a handful of songs that when I sing them, I occasionally get choked up. And that’s one of those songs,” Miller says. “It feels so specifically personal to me.” But Miller didn’t write “Picture This,” Robb’s band did — when they were 15. Although Robb, James Smith and James Cleare are now in their late 20s and three releases into a career as The Spring Standards, they’ve been trading harmonies and instruments under various band names since they were kids. Smith and Cleare grew up in Kennett Square, not far from Longwood Gardens, while Robb lived across the state line in Delaware. “Picture This” dates to their days as The Urban Wombats. “I remember writing it on my front porch in my parents’ house,”

“It feels so specifically personal to me,” says Rhett Miller.

>>> continued on page 20

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[ patient, placid, far from static ] ³ jazz/rock/noise

Having perfected his brand of ambient-inclined techno back on 2007’s This Bliss, with only minor modifications since, Henrik Weber, aka Pantha du Prince, has found a fresh way forward in illuminative, symbiotic collaboration with producer and experimentalist Stephan Abry. The duo’s self-titled LP, Ursprung (Dial), is a textural odyssey: patient, even placid, but far from static — and an intimate, intricate examination of the possibilities of guitar-derived sound, billowing expansively within and beyond Weber’s ringing, broad-vista’d beatscapes. Ideal cloud-watching music. —K. Ross Hoffman

The long-awaited follow-up to their 2007 debut finds a much different Normal Love.The lineup has gone through several changes, members are now scattered between Philly and NYC, and the sound has evolved from a chamber-prog-metal onslaught into an uncanny no wave-industrial-new music cyborg. Still recognizable on Survival Tricks is the combination of complexity and chaos, brutality and wicked humor, reconstructed into a post-human sonic organism. —Shaun Brady

³ jazz After a series of releases paying tribute to his mentors, keyboard player Orrin Evans reasserts his own bold identity on Flip the Script (Posi-Tone). His new trio features bassist Ben Wolfe and drummer Donald Edwards, both matches for Evans in sensitivity and strength. The disc features a half-dozen originals, from the strident blues of “Big Small” to the tender melancholy of “When,” alongside four covers. Evans gives his regular nod to his hometown, as well as the late Don Cornelius, on Gamble & Huff’s Soul Train theme, and gets downright celebratory on Luther Vandross’ “A Brand New Day” from The Wiz. —Shaun Brady


GRAND FINALE Capanna’s music tends to be taut and chiseled. ³ THE NEW-MUSIC community in Philadelphia

³ dance/hip-hop After an absurd three-year-plus delay, Rye Rye’s debut could’ve been a confused mess, watering down her Baltimore club roots with faceless club-pop bloat. Go! Pop! Bang! (Interscope/N.E.E.T.) has some of that — generic electro-house RedOne hook here, asinine Akon collab there — but the pint-sized Charm City charmer hasn’t exactly pulled a Nicki. Even the most brazen pandering just feels like more ammo for her gutter-ready dance arsenal, and Ryeisha more than holds her own alongside M.I.A., Robyn or the frickin’ Vengaboys. —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

WHERE DO WE GO NOW? [ B- ] THE IMAGES THAT open Where Do We Go Now? are familiar from countless


is as collegial as ever, so you’d think there would be better communication about concert planning. This weekend is packed with three major events that will roll out five world premieres, and all feature superb, world-class performers. Two of them will be repeated in New York, but if you want to attend them all here in Philly, you’ll need a time machine, because Saturday is double-booked. The fun begins Friday night, at Curtis (8 p.m., $20, 1726 Locust St.,, where pianists Mikhail Yanovitsky and Michal Schmidt and violinist Diane Monroe will give life to four sonatas by Robert Capanna and Philip Maneval. The esteemed local composers make for an intriguing contrast: Capanna’s music tends to be taut, chiseled and introspective; Maneval is also a fine craftsman, but exhibits a more extroverted style. The two have been paired in concert before, and the mix is highly stimulating. If their names sound familiar outside of the context of new-music composition, it is because Maneval is the longtime executive director of the Philadelphia Chamber Music Society and Capanna was the executive director of the sprawling Settlement Music School system for 27 years. Saturday night features an unusual tribute to American minimalism, the transformational movement that had its roots in Asian and pop music and turned academic classical music on its pointy head. The terrific Prism Saxophone Quartet will present music by four of the big boys of that world — Terry Riley, Philip Glass, John Adams and Michael Torke — and a premiere by an emerging young composer, Samuel Phillips-Corwin (7 p.m., $20, First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., And up in Chestnut Hill, also on Saturday (8 p.m., $30, Presbyterian Church of Chestnut Hill, 8855 Germantown Ave., networkfornewmusic. org), there’s the final concert of the Network for New Music season, which has focused on music and words. The remarkable Pulitzer Prize-winning Lewis Spratlan will have his Hesperus Is Phosphorus performed for the first time, courtesy of chamber chorus The Crossing. Spratlan is considered a kind of musical philosopher; this is a rather lofty way to step into the sweet balm of the summer months. (

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solemn Middle Eastern-set dramas: bombed-out concrete ruins, arid landscapes, a group of mourning women, all set to the strains of a soaring, elegiac Arabic song. But the steps of those mourning women as they trudge, weeping together under the blazing sun, start to sync up with each other and with the score; soon, their march takes on a distinct beat and their lament becomes a full-fledged dance number. Nadine Labaki maintains that shifting, unpredictable approach throughout her second directorial effort, a refreshingly offbeat take on the subject matter even if it’s not entirely successful. Labaki, whose previous film was the charming salon-set comedy Caramel, has crafted a frothy fable on a bleak subject. The film is set in an unnamed country (assumed to be Labaki’s native Lebanon), in a tiny village all but isolated from the outside world by a barrier of land mines and a single dilapidated bridge. The village consists of two communities, Christian and Muslim, living in close proximity with an uneasy peace, constantly upset by the slightest misunderstanding. The men are trapped in an unending cycle of violence, so the women take it upon themselves to manipulate their sons and husbands into coexistence. A television, lugged into the only spot with any reception, proves a nightly distraction until a newscast brings unsettling stories of religious clashes on a wider scale, necessitating sabotage. As tensions mount, the ladies engineer a reverse Lysistrata scheme, importing a busload of Ukrainian strippers to counteract spiritual enmity with more earthly distractions. Labaki never settles on a single direction for the tale, however, and the tone remains as restive and unsure as life in the village. Labaki’s own character, a Christian café owner, seems destined for a Romeo-and-Juliet liaison with the Muslim handyman renovating the place. That plot provides the excuse for a pair of musical numbers, but ultimately dissipates, like most of the other story threads picked up along the way. —Shaun Brady

Soaring, elegiac songs.

ROLL WITH IT: In her second directorial effort, Nadine Labaki also takes on the role of a Christian café owner who has a hush-hush fling with her Muslim handyman.

suitespot Peter Burwasser on classical

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³ electronic


[ disc-o-scope ]

<<< continued from page 18 MARK SELIGER

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â&#x153;&#x161; Picture This


Rhett Miller

Smith says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;and then bringing it over to the other James and saying, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Hey, I wrote a song!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Cleare added a guitar part, Robb chimed in on harmonies, and the song surfaced on their very first release, which Smith says is â&#x20AC;&#x153;virtually impossibleâ&#x20AC;? to track down. Fast-forward a decade. Miller was getting ready to produce the first Spring Standards EP, 2008â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s No One Will Know, and after running through the contenders, the trio dug out an oldie. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They played it for me, and it was such a sweet song, I fell in love with it,â&#x20AC;? Miller recalls. After determining that The Spring Standards really


(888) 344-9043 THE BEATLES

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)257,&.(76 ,1)250$7,213/($6(9,6,7:::,+286(3+,//<25* ,17(51$7,21$/+286(3+,/$'(/3+,$÷&+(67187675((7 ÷:::,+286(3+,//<25*

[ arts & entertainment ]

werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t going to do anything with it, he asked if he could rework a verse, tweak a few lines and add it to his repertoire. â&#x20AC;&#x153;To hear someone like Rhett Miller singing a song that we all wrote when we were so young is such a strange feeling,â&#x20AC;? says Smith. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s weird to watch Robb duet with another man on a song she used to sing with him, he adds, but not in a bad way. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It brings new meaning to it,â&#x20AC;? Smith says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the exciting thing.â&#x20AC;? After their bicoastal tour with Miller, the New York-based trio will return to the area in August for a belated CD-release show at World CafĂŠ Live at The Queen to celebrate their self-released double EP, yellow//gold. ( â&#x153;&#x161; Rhett Miller & The Serial Lady Kil-

lers and The Spring Standards play Tue., June 5, 8 p.m., $22-$38, World CafĂŠ Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-2221400,

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Win a chance to attend an Advance Screening of To enter for a chance to win two tickets text SCOUT with your ZIP CODE to 43549 (Example: SCOUT 19103)

No purchase necessary. While supplies last. There is no charge to text 43KIX. Message and data rates from your wireless carrier may apply. Text HELP for info, STOP to opt-out. One entry per cell phone number. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be considered. Winners will be notiďŹ ed by phone. This ďŹ lm is rated PG-13 for sexual content and smoking. Must be 13 years of age to enter contest and attend screening. Sponsors are not responsible for lost or redirected entries, phone failures, or tampering. Employees of Focus Features and the Philadelphia City Paper are not eligible. Deadline for entries is Thursday,May 30 at 5:00 PM ET.

Opening in Philadelphia on June 8th at the Ritz East and in Voorhees at the Ritz Center 16

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Jake Henry is nervous.

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³ SPACE 1026

firstfridayfocus By Holly Otterbein


The Philadelphia-based artist is exhibiting at Space 1026, where the modus operandi is maximalist, graphic art that sometimes borders on grotesque. “This pastoral stuff I’m doing is a bit of a departure from that,” Henry says. “It’s unnerving. I think people are going to expect something a little more graphic-oriented.” It’s true that in “It’s a Trap!” his serene paintings of blue skies and prairie grasses stray from the comic-inspired style of the gallery. The works aren’t neon-colored. They aren’t in-your-face. Instead, they are subtle — maybe even guileless. His pieces likely look different because they are rooted in a place hundreds of miles away, the small farming community in Tipton, Ind., where he grew up and learned to love the horizon line. “I know it so well,” he says. He paints it well, too. Yet Henry isn’t a complete outsider. He was a Space 1026 member for about a decade, before he recently got married and decided it was “time to do something else.” You can spot Henry’s background in his metal works, which resemble the frightening, giant teeth of a Transformer. His day job is welding. “I guess I still enjoy the gnarlier side of things,” he says. Through June 30, opening Fri., June 1, 7 p.m., 1026 Arch St., 215-574-7630,


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When the Chinese-born artist LiQin Tan held a show at Dalet

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[ arts & entertainment ]

Allen Bentlye, Swept Away

Gallery last year, curator Irena Gobernik says viewers were visibly shocked. She implored me to look at photographs from the show, which reveal more than a few wide-eyed looks. “You will see astonished faces of the visitors,” she says. “You will feel the spirit of the exhibit.” They were likely dumbfounded because they couldn’t pinpoint how Tan, an art professor at Rutgers University-Camden, crafted his work. He uses computers to make folk-art sculptures and, conversely, creates digital imagery through ancient materials. To further confuse, he projects animations onto the work. “The technique I use is very technological,” says Tan. “Not many people use it for artwork so far. In Philadelphia, they still use the paper printer for fine arts.” But Tan’s installations, prints and animated pieces are not overwhelmingly highbrow or aloof, like some digital art. Instead, the works are earthy and scary, depicting the female figure, brains and other natural imagery. Through June 23, opening Fri., June 1, 5 p.m., 141 N. Second St., 215-923-2424,

At Third Street Gallery, photographer Keith Sharp will make you do a double take. He prints images of outdoor scenery onto cotton and silk fabrics, which he then hangs in various settings to photograph. In the digital print Suspended, it takes a second to locate where the print of a tree begins and where the actual tree ends. It’s surreal and a little unsettling. But it’s a good reminder, that, as Sharp says in a statement, “There will always be two worlds — the natural and the man-made.” Jean Burdick will also exhibit works depicting plant life and complex patterns. Through July 1, opening Fri., June 1, 5-9 p.m., free, 58 N. Second St., 215-625-0993, … Contemporary artist Allen Bentley creates dreamy, fluid paintings of couples embracing each other under water. Bentley usually examines dance and human affection in his works, so this exhibit for Bridgette Mayer Gallery is a new direction, but not too new. Through June 30, opening Fri., June 1, 6 p.m., 709 Walnut St., first floor, 215-4138893, (

Did you catch it during your morning commute? Arts&Culture. It’s How We GROW.® Last Month, the Black Pearl Chamber Orchestra held a special pop-up concert at Suburban Station. PECO and the Cultural Alliance are proud to support the Black Pearl Chamber Orchestra’s iConduct concert series, which puts the power of the baton in the hands of the people. And, after starting off with lead conductor Dan O’Connell, Supervisor in Customer Response at PECO, it was morning commuters who got to do the conducting. Find out how you too can feel the thrill of conducting a full orchestra at For more information about how Arts&Culture is making our communities and our lives better, visit



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Shawn Edwards / FOX-TV

The Fairy


FOR GREATER GLORY|CThe Cristero War, a three-year battle over religious freedom in post-revolutionary 1920s Mexico, is a little-known chapter in history. For Greater Glory may remedy that fact, but Dean Wright’s film has little interest in creating a factual record of the war itself. Its sympathies are cartoonishly simple: As the anti-clerical laws of President Plutarco Elias Calles become more onerous on the Catholic community, snarling soldiers

HIGH SCHOOL Read Drew Lazor’s review at

HYSTERIA Read Michael Gold’s review at

THE INTOUCHABLES|B In The Intouchables, an unlikely bromance blooms between a blue-blooded quadriplegic and an ex-convict who becomes his caretaker. The latter is of Senegalese descent, but can race or class lines deter their improbable bond? Of course not. The film did sensationally at the box office in its native France this past winter, which begs the question: Do the French have a thing for romanticizing the black help, too? The Intouchables doesn’t rely on the kindness of the obsequious to justify the friendship — the leads vibe as men who have lived life on the edge and still enjoy taking chances. This connection morphs into a shared penchant for med-





, 3D AND 2D

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Lanky Belgian comedy duo Dominique Abel and Fiona Gordon reteam with director Bruno Romy for their third goofball romp, this time set in the industrial seaport town of Le Havre, France. Abel is Dom, a mopey chap who lives a life of no real significance. Every evening he pedals his beat-up bike to a lousy hotel job, where he chomps on drippy ketchup sandwiches and slugs through his few duties as the outfit’s only late-night employee. His world gets rosier, however, when Fiona (Gordon), who basically looks like Abel in a ginger wig, shuffles in claiming to be his special fairy. The two fall helplessly in love, setting off on a series of whimsical hijinks like rocking an energetic funky chicken on the ledge of a high-rise and copulating in a giant clam shell at the bottom of the sea. That final act produces a baby (her belly inflates in a matter of seconds, if that gives you an idea of the flick’s surreal vibe), who gets flung around like a rag doll for the remainder of the film. There is some conflict here — Fiona and babe turn up missing for a brief moment — but for the most part, any semblance of a plot is danced around by one drawn-out slapstick routine after another. It’s hard to hate on these knuckleheads, but one does start to wish for an ounce of get-to-the-point a little over halfway in. —Josh Middleton

are shown callously lynching priests in their churches, firing bullets into icons of the Virgin Mary and reveling next to a crucifix-fueled campfire. The heroic Cristeros’ worst atrocity, the burning of a trainload of civilians, is depicted as an honest mistake. Wright, a longtime visual-effects producer, aims for the epic with a hefty cast of characters, multiple storylines and guns-blazing battles. The end result is more cluttered than grand, however, with types in search of characters and enough slow-motion horseback bullet hits to make Sam Peckinpah roll his eyes. Andy Garcia is the reluctant hero, an atheist general whose conversion to the faith is brought about less by events than by the inevitability of plot; he fights alongside a ragtag band of archetypes, the most egregious being a devoted young boy put through Passion of the Christlevel tortures in the film’s lust for martyrdom. —Shaun Brady

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dling; they push each other’s buttons but all is made well with a little boogie time to Earth, Wind and Fire. Yes, the black caretaker jams to funk throughout the film. I guess the French have adopted that trope, too. —Cassie Owens


Hirokazu Kore-eda’s winsome I Wish is a film of small and fleeting pleasures passing like a high-speed train. It follows two brothers, separated by divorce, who scheme to reunite, eventually settling on a superstition that any wish will be granted if made at the precise moment that two bullet trains pass each other. As they live at opposite ends of the line, both set out for its geographical midpoint, trying to fix a fleeting instant in time. They know, at least, that their childhood is running out, ending as slowly as their parents’ marriage ended abruptly, and they don’t want their lives to run on separate tracks. I Wish provides a provisional happy ending to the brothers’ quest, but not far under its surface is a sense that life’s flavors, the keen as well as the faint, must always be savored quickly, lest they pass away for good. —Sam Adams

Shot by first-timer Bradley Parker in that sterile, observational style popularized by Peli’s Paranormal Activity franchise, the movie follows Americans Chris (singer Jesse McCartney), Natalie (Olivia Taylor Dudley) and Amanda (Devin Kelley) as they travel to Kiev, where they embark on an “extreme” tour of Prypiat, the creeped-out atomgrad evacuated after the Chernobyl meltdown in 1986. By nightfall, ex-Special Forces tour guide Uri (Dimitri Diatchenko) realizes his van is inoperable, placing the group in grave radioactive danger. Atmospherics is Diaries’ strongest suit. And while it’s not worthy of a full complimentary smooch, the movie does an adequate job avoiding insensitive chatter about body counts. It’s the wound-up characters, uneven scares and lazy bones conclusion that end up holding this unorthodox creature feature back. —Drew Lazor

MEN IN BLACK 3|CIt’s been 10 years since the last Men in Black film hit screens, just about enough time in the summer popcorn environment for audiences to forget just how wretched the last sequel was. This second sequel feels like a regrouping on Will Smith’s part, a return to a popular role after a four-year absence following the audacious suicide-by-jellyfish misfire Seven Pounds. He apparently hasn’t shaken his loftier dramatic ambitions, however, as the series takes an unexpected and ill-advised turn towards pathos. Instead of simply repeating the mixture of sci-fi and comedy that made the first film a success, Smith’s Agent J sets off in search of a backstory for his partner, the tragic event that turned Tommy Lee Jones’ Agent K into a taciturn grouch. The plot turns convoluted but shallow, jettisoning alien jokes for a tearjerker finale

A haiku: This time they only Want to bite giant boobs and David Hasselhoff. (Not reviewed)

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN Read Drew Lazor’s review at

WHERE DO WE GO NOW?|BRead Shaun Brady’s review on p. 19.

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that contradicts what we know from the first film — but you’ve forgotten that by now, right? —S.B.

com. Labyrinth (1986, U.S., 101 min.): David Bowie plays a glam goblin king. Mon., June 4, 8 p.m., $3.



French director Maïwenn’s unusual drama about the members of a Child Protection Unit of the French police force is wildly compelling. The film is deliberately episodic: storylines depict everything from cops worrying over the fate of a homeless woman and her son to making jokes about a teenager who gives blowjobs to recover her cell phone. The cops’ camaraderie is palpable whether the team is celebrating in a nightclub or trying to catch a runaway junkie mother abducting/abusing her kid. But too much of Polisse insists that the cops aren’t shocked when discussing personal matters — only to show them jaded by what they’ve experienced, or using it to justify blowing off steam. Still, this absorbing film’s curious finale packs a wallop. —Gary M. Kramer

Macy’s, 13th and Market streets, Speedy (1928, U.S., 85 min.): In his last silent film, Harold Lloyd tries to save horse-drawn streetcars from the onslaught of technology. With live organ accompaniment, of course. Sat., June 2, 2 p.m., $10.

✚ REPERTORY FILM THE AWESOME FEST PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., 267-5199651, Wonder Women!: The Untold Story of American Superheroines (2012,

U.S., 79 min.): Kristy Guevara-Flanagan wraps her lasso of truth around the lack of heroic female role models. Burlesque show will follow. Fri., June 1, 7 p.m., $7-$15. With Great Power: The Stan Lee Story (2010, U.S., 80 min.): A look at the man behind comics’ most famous masks. Stick around for a Q&A with the director and live surf-rock and chiptune sets. Sat., June 2, 7 p.m., $7-$10.

THE BALCONY 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.

[ movie shorts ]

PHILAMOCA 531 N. 12th St., 267-519-9651, Tuesday Tune-Out: Cloudrapper Lushlife kicks off this new screening series, where local musicians play a set before introducing a film of their choice. Tue., June 5, 8 p.m., $5.


INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 215-895-6555, The Devil Probably (1977, France, 95 min.): Robert Bresson opens with a suicide and works backward to show the intellectual ills of the ’70s. Fri., June 1, 8 p.m., $7-$9. Au Hasard Balthazar (1966, France, 95 min.): By tracing the noble life of an abused donkey, Bresson reveals the importance of human empathy. Sat., June 2, 5 p.m., $7-$9. Diary of a Country Priest (1951, France, 115 min.): A devout young priest confronts his faith when faced with terminal illness. Sat., June 2, 8 p.m., $7-$9.

MEGA-BAD MOVIE NIGHT Academy of Natural Sciences, 1900 Benjamin Franklin Parkway, 215299-1000, Sharktopus (2010, U.S., 89 min.): One part shark, one part octopus, the titular sea creature of this amazingly atrocious B-movie means business. Thu., May 31, 8 p.m., $15.

PHILADELPHIA FORCE Translational Research Center, 3400 Civic Center Blvd., Five (2011, U.S., 87 min.): A Lifetime TV anthology of five short films depicting the impact of breast cancer. Thu., May 31, 6:30 p.m., free.

Various venues, Shooting Beauty (2009, U.S., 62 min.): Wannabe fashion photog Courtney Bent’s path deviates when she visits a center for people living with disabilities. Sun., June 3, 3 p.m., $36 and Mon., June 4, noon, $10. Wretches & Jabberers (2011, U.S., 90 min.): Two men with autism tour the world to counteract notions about disability and intelligence. Mon., June 4, 7 p.m., $10. Aphasia (2010, U.S., 40 min.): Actor Carl McIntyre lost his ability to speak after a massive stroke. Preceded by Among the Giants (2009, U.S., 23 min.), a look at the Adaptive Design Association. Tue., June 5, 1:30 p.m., $10. OC87 (2010, U.S., 100 min.): Local director Bud Clayman documents his attempts to manage his OCD and Asperger’s syndrome. Tue., June 5, 6:30 p.m., $18.

More on: ✚ CHECK OUT MORE R E P E R T O R Y F I L M L I S T I N G S AT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / R E P F I L M .




Featuring a Q&A with the stars

Rated PG-13 for “sexual content, suggestive dancing, some heavy drinking, and language.” Please note: No purchase necessary. Deadline for entries is Saturday, June 2, 2012 at 5PM ET. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. Arrive early. Tickets received through this promotion do not guarantee admission. There is no charge to text 43KIX. Message and data rates from your wireless carrier may apply. Text HELP for info, STOP to opt-out. One entry per cell phone number. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be considered. Winners will be notified electronically. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. No one will be admitted without a ticket or after the screening begins. Must be at least 13 years of age to enter contest and attend screening. Anti-piracy security will be in place at this screening. By attending, you agree to comply with all security requirements. All federal, state, and local regulations apply. Warner Bros. Pictures, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred, or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible for lost, delayed, or misdirected entries, phone failures, or tampering. Void where prohibited by law.


Jordana Brewster and Julie Gonzalo immediately after the screening

To enter to win a pair of passes to attend this special preview of TNT’S All-New Series DALLAS, log on to WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN. Must be 17 or older to win. Tickets are available on a first-come, first-served basis, while supplies last. Each pass admits two (2). No purchase necessary. Employees of all promotional partners and their agencies are not eligible. Seating is first-come, first-served. The theater is over-booked to ensure its capacity is filled.



the agenda

[ a smart, solid, faker-free lineup ]

the naked city | feature | a&e



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DO YOU WANT MORE?!!!??!: The two-day Roots Picnic is this Saturday and Sunday at the Festival Pier at Penn’s Landing.

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:


5.31 [ theater ]


Through June 3, $15-$28, Playground at the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St., 215704-0033,

[ rock/pop ]

✚ PORCELAIN RAFT Mauro Remiddi’s got one of those soft, lost-soul kinds of voices that floats nicely over quavering synths, slow-motion folk and ethereal affectations. You know, somewhere between Nick Drake and the little girl in Poltergeist. Porcelain Raft’s latest, Strange Weekend (Secretly

—Patrick Rapa Thu., May 31, 8:30 p.m., $10-$12, with The Sea Around Us and The Homophones, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919,

[ books ]

✚ STIEG LARSSON + ME For all the diabolical dismay and psyche-twisting in his Millennium trilogy, the late Stieg Larsson is now just as famous for being a tender-hearted activist and feminist. That’s in part because the Swedish journalist had a longtime partner and occasional editor in Eva Gabrielsson, a woman touched by Larsson’s political passions. In her book “There Are Things I Want You to Know” About Stieg Larsson and Me (Seven Stories

Press), Gabrielsson claims that Larsson, well-known for his anti-right-wing stance, became an ardent feminist after witnessing a gang rape as a child. The incident clearly affected him and led to the creation of his tatted-up protagonist Lisbeth Salander, an active avenger of violence against women in works such as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Gabrielsson’s own book is a bravely naked and provocative work. —A.D. Amorosi Thu., May 31, 7:30 p.m., free, Free Library of Philadelphia, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341,

[ dance ]

✚ US. The Live Arts/Fringe Festival isn’t till September; however, if you’ve got a jones for Fringestyle dance, you can get your fix from us. There’s no danceydance here, but rather “performance installations” by local experimental-movement artists who tend to go site-specific and

high concept. Kate-Watson Wallace and Jaamil Olawale Kosoko celebrate recently joining forces as co-directors of the company anonymous bodies, with a duet of the same name. <fidget> takes its show on the road, heading out from its Kensington headquarters to restage Subject in Two Parts. Created in 2008, the piece is updated with new costumes, new lighting, new video and one new dancer. The cast includes two Philly fave dancers we don’t see much anymore, Lorin Lyle and Rebecca, and that alone is reason to see this show.

channeled their inner punks, trading in the puckish jam-jazz of previous releases for a ragged garage-jazz-rock rave-up, even including a cover of their punnamesakes’ “Kill the Poor.” Gorelick (the actual last name of the smooth-jazz pariah) is still full of Skerik’s sax honking, but Mike Dillon sticks more with thudding drumbeats than vibraphone licks and adds his raw-throated, no-finesse vocals into the mix. The rotating third chair is filled by New Bohemians bassist Brad Houser, also a bandmate in the long-running Critters Buggin.

—Deni Kasrel

—Shaun Brady

May 31-June 2, 8 p.m.; June 3, 3p.m.; $12-$16, Christ Church Neighborhood House, 20 N. American St., 215-9221695,

Thu., May 31, 8 p.m., $10, with Philadelphia Funk Hustle and Novelectro, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-787-0488,

[ jazz ]

[ festivals/ink ]

✚ DEAD KENNY GS As you might guess from the name, the Dead Kenny Gs have embraced both jazz provocation and punk-rock attitude since their inception. On their new EP, though, the trio have fully

✚ MIGHTY WARSHIP OLYMPIA TATTOO FESTIVAL To mark the close of “Past to Present,” the tattoo-painting retrospective that debuted at the


Ten-minute plays have been a theater staple for a generation, great for modern short attention spans, showcasing new talents and, this weekend, celebrating Luna Theater Company’s 10th season. Its first festival of original one-acts all complement

—Mark Cofta

Canadian), is both blissful and overserious, a pretty elegance you can get into without getting too deep. For something a little more playful, check out Porcelain Raft’s sparkly take on Nirvana’s “Come As You Are.”

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Submit information by email ( to Josh Middleton or enter them yourself at with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

Luna’s season theme, “identity crisis.” Ten were chosen from 125 international submissions, including four by Philadelphia playwrights Kate Brennan, Joy Cutler, Alex Dremann and Quinn D. Eli. This event also promotes collaboration with other small companies: Directors include Luna founder Gregory Scott Campbell, Renegade’s Michael Durkin, Bright Light’s Samantha Tower and Tina Brock from Idiopathic Ridiculopathy Consortium.

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Independence Seaport Museum in February, curator Troy Timpel has rounded up a fleet of local artists to climb aboard the Mighty Olympia warship for a full-fledged ink expo. The main man behind the Philadelphia Tattoo Arts Convention, Timpel and his team will be equipped with the old-school acetate stencils used by tattooists from yesteryear and will set up a gallery and stations to, as he explains, give folks “the chance to not only see the history but take a piece home with you on your skin.”

[ the agenda ]

campus was abuzz with curiosity. In Through the Door of Life (University of Wisconsin Press), Ladin reflects on her journey between genders, using faith as both a barrier and navigational tool throughout. She was

—Chris Brown Through June 3, noon, $20, Independence Seaport Museum, 211 S. Columbus Blvd., 800-541-8239,

[ readings/lgbtq ]

✚ JOY LADIN A longtime professor of literature at Yeshiva University, Jay Ladin embodied all the characteristics of a good Jewish scholar. Dedicated to his work and faith, he inspired students to live out their full potential in their pursuit of academia. When he returned to school after one transformative summer as Joy Ladin, a woman with beautiful curly hair, the Orthodox Jewish

forced to confront the fact that her religion advocates for a strict separation of the genders, further highlighting the gulf between man and woman. After more than 40 years of living as a man, Ladin’s story is proof that identities are multifaceted and often conflicting, making personal growth a lifelong affair. —Nina Willbach Thu., May 31, 5:30 p.m., free, Giovanni’s Room, 345 S. 12th St., 215923-2960,


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ANNUAL 12THState Street

lues BStroll THE

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une , 2012 J 9 Media, PA 6:OOpm–1:OO am

Rain or shine ~ 19 indoor venues

WXPN Welcomes

Alvin Youngblood Hart’s Muscle Theory Danielle Miraglia – Lonnie Shields Leroy Hawkes – Georgie Bonds – Steve Guyger Mikey Jr. & Stone Cold Blues – Dave Coppa The Teletones – Wanamaker Lewis Blues Brothers & A Sister – Sister Blue Carol Moog & Garry Cogdell - Norman Taylor Johnny Never - Special Brew’d – Obsoleets 300 Lbs. of Joy – Andrea Carlson Stevie & BluesCasters – Bruce Anthony Dani Mari – Beth Goldwater Adults: $15 / $20 thru 6/8 – $20 / $25 on 6/9 WXPN Members: $12 / $17 – 610-566-5039

6.1 [ burlesque ]

—Michael Blancato Fri., June 1, 7:30 and 10 p.m., $15, Ruba Club, 414 Green St., 215-6279831,

[ theater ]

✚ THE MARVELOUS WONDERETTES The 11th Hour Theatre Company, Philadelphia’s best small-cast musical producers, close their

—Mark Cofta June 1-24, $30, Skybox at the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St., third floor, 267-9879865,

[ rock/pop ]

✚ HOP ALONG There’s an engrossing universality in Hop Along’s muchanticipated full-length Get Disowned. In it, songwriter-guitarist Frances Quinlan plays the everywoman; she’s singing for the art-school dreamers as

much as the nine-to-five cynics, the romantics and the divorcées, the stable and the distraught. Whether it’s the twists and turns of the dense rocker “Diamond Mine” or the seemingly cheery (but actually kind of sad) country-twang of “Sally II,” there’s something new to discover from each pass through the album. And the music — wow, it’s the kitchen-sink folk of the Philly band’s 2005 debut Freshman Year melted into the Bigmuff punk of its 2009 EP Wretches. It’s an adventurous, Daniel Johnston-style “everything goes” creative mind, backed by an aggressive Throwing Muses power trio, filtered through an emerging production visionary (Joe Reinhart of Head Room Studios). In short, the best release of 2012 you probably haven’t yet heard. Get to the show. Get Get Disowned. Get on it.

food | classifieds

Vaudeville vixen Annie A-Bomb presents “The Pussy Show,” a kitty-themed evening of burlesque starring local cabaret A-listers like Lelu Lenore, Randi Warhol and Dina Colada embodying the most tantalizing pack of “French pussy, funny pussy, hot pussy” you’ve ever seen. And lest you think dogs are getting an unfair shake, the backup band will be performing in canine costumes. You bring the woofs.

[ the agenda ]

the agenda


first three-show season with Roger Bean’s nostalgic jukebox musical The Marvelous Wonderettes. In the 1958 first act, four school chums sing pop songs like “Mr. Sandman,” “Lollipop” and “Dream Lover.” A decade later, at their school reunion, we find out what happened to them through ’60s hits like “Heat Wave,” “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss)” and “You Don’t Own Me.” The Marvelous Wonderettes isn’t a musical revue, but a comedy about women surviving a tumultuous time, featuring recent University of the Arts grads Kat Borrelli and Janet Rowley as well as Arden and Walnut veteran Colleen Hazlett and 11th Hour standout Laura Catlaw.

the naked city | feature | a&e


—John Vettese Fri., June 1, 8 p.m., $10, with Little Big League, Mary Lattimore and Band Name, First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 877-435-9849,

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thechecklist Let’s do this

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With vampires, Trekkies and Thor converging for the Wizard World Comic Con, expect the fiercely polemic “Kirk or Picard?” debate to echo through the streets of Market East this weekend. If that’s your sort of thing, by all means, strap on the spandex and let your geek flag fly. But if dropping ducats to watch gawky cosplayers nerd-fight doesn’t satisfy your highbrow tastes, jet past the hordes and head north for PhilaMOCA’s two comics-themed after-parties. A screening of Wonder Women!: The Untold Story of American Superheroines gets the artsy geekfest rolling on Friday night, and it’s the perfect antidote to the Convention Center’s sausage fest. True to its title, Kristy Guevara-Flanagan’s doc traces the history of Amazonian vixen Wonder Woman, from her humble ink-stained origins to her spin-heavy television glory. More than a flat biography, though, Wonder Women! explores how the superhero’s long history parallels society’s gender anxieties. In doing so, Guevara-Flanagan argues the need to seat more crime-fighting ladies at the Justice League table and erode representational barriers. To help push down those walls once the screening ends, stick around for the Comic Strip! burlesque show. Philly faves Miss Rose and Oscar Wildchilde join New York performers Stella Chuu and Magdalena Fox in a page-and-panel riff on striptease. Saturday night’s fête will run a little more demure, opening with a cinematic homage to comics god Stan Lee. Director Will Hess will be on hand as With Great Power: The Stan Lee Story screens, demystifying the creative persona responsible for Spider-Man, the Hulk and the Fantastic Four. Afterward, cast the pocket protector aside and dance the night off with costumed surf rockers Drunk Monk and local chiptune mixers an0va and Chipocrite. Fri.-Sat., June 1-2, 7 p.m., $7-$25, PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., 267-519-9651, —Michael Gold

the agenda


the naked city | feature | a&e

[ the agenda ]

Have an upcoming event? Give it here. E-mail


[ rock/pop ]


—Michael Pelusi Sat., June 2, 8 p.m., $10, with Adam and Dave’s Bloodline and Blayer Pointdujour & The Rockers Galore, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684,

[ wrestling ]

✚ CHIKASAURUS REX For 11 years, Chikara has been putting its earnest mark on the professional-wrestling circuit. The 34 wrestlers on the homegrown company’s roster still pull off half nelsons and acrobatic assaults on their paths to victory,


Is there a band in Philly right now more aptly named than Weird Hot? Local music vet Shawn Kilroy’s latest project combines eerie goth with slinky R&B, along with a few other mystery elements. Their second album WH II (Ghost Imprint) is filled with sultry male-female vocals, sly synths and rhythms, squalling guitars and sax and general noir ambience on tracks like “Making Dreams Come True” and “Bikers V Rockers.” Weird Hot creates songs equally capable of droll

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humor and epic space-rock, like the band has mined the cool, previously unplumbed corners of Roxy Music albums. Their live shows turn all this into raucous party music, complete with the occasional off-the-wall yet brilliant cover song, like Gerry Rafferty’s “Right Down the Line.”

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THURSDAY 5.31 MO $$ NO PROBLEMS ----------------------------------------FRIDAY 6.1 HOT MESS DJ APT ONE & SKINNY FRIEDMAN

----------------------------------------SATURDAY 6.2 DJ DEEJAY ----------------------------------------SUNDAY 6.3 SUNDAE PM WITH QUESTLOVE ----------------------------------------MONDAY 6.4




----------------------------------------TUESDAY 6.5 DRAW STRAWS


----------------------------------------WEDNESDAY 6.6 CULTUREAL SONNI SHINE &

THE UNDERWATER GANG 5th & Spring Garden

just without the vulgar gruffness and half-nude women of WWE Raw. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We provide something for everyone,â&#x20AC;? explains Wink Vavasseur, the circuitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;director of fun,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;whether youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a little kid looking for colorful cartoon characters â&#x20AC;Ś or youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been watching wrestling for decades.â&#x20AC;? Chikaraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ball-busting theatrics channel the camp of Mexican lucha libre while adopting the physicality of traditional American wrestling. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Michael Gold Sat., June 2, 7 p.m., $25, all ages, The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-9226888,,

[ hip-hop/rock/pop ]

â&#x153;&#x161; ROOTS PICNIC Skip this and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have two other chances to catch The Roots at a huge outdoor show in

their hometown this summer, but, really, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t skip it. Sure, July 4 on the Parkway is always good olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; rated-PG fun, and Jay-Zâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thing will be ridiculous, but the Roots Picnic is where ?uestlove rules. When heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not behind the kit, Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Drummer is strolling the asphalt like a conquering hero, shaking hands, nodding, soaking in the love and giving it right back. Damn right, he should be proud. Where big-name â&#x20AC;&#x153;curatorsâ&#x20AC;? of other fests somehow come up with the same YouTube-tested/ blog-approved lineups of bigname acts with little in common (except, you know, they happen to be available that day), ?uesto and co. always deliver a smart, solid, faker-free lineup. St. Vincent, Diplo, Wale, Major Lazer, tUnE-yArDs â&#x20AC;&#x201D; these are people testing boundaries, pushing pop into new and, usually, exciting directions. And of course some old heads will get their due, with Rakim doing all of Paid in Full and De La Soul backed by the Roots. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sleep on the side stage, either, because (A) thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s where the air conditioning is and (B) itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the place to catch the next big thing. Kid Cudi rocked the tent a few Picnics ago. This

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=>3<3D3@G2/G#> / 97B163<=>3</::<756B 6/>>G6=C@ 3D3@G2/G#>%>

F R I D AY 6W^6]^]\bVS;OW\4Z]]` 6]caS;caWQ]\BVS@]]T S AT U R D AY 6]caS;caWQ ]\bVS;OW\4Z]]` 6W^6]^]\bVS@]]T S U N D AY 6]caS;caWQ ]\bVS;OW\4Z]]` AOZaO;caWQ]\bVS@]]T eWbVT`SSRO\QW\UZSaa]\ =\SV]c`Q][^ZW[S\bO`g =^S\0O` M O N D AY :ObW\<WUVb4`SS:Saa]\a =\bVS;OW\4Z]]` ;WfSR;caWQ]\BVS@]]T T U E S D AY 6W^6]^]\bVS;OW\4Z]]` eAb`S\UbV2O\QS 1][^SbWbW]\>]ZS2O\QW\U =ZRWSa;caWQ]\BVS@]]T 116 S.18 th Street 215-568-1020

year heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a headliner.

[ the agenda ]

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Patrick Rapa Sat., June 2, noon; Sun., June 3, 5 p.m., $63-$96, Festival Pier at Pennâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Landing, 121 N. Columbus Blvd.,



Stuckeyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new arrangements of Mozart arias for baritone, flute, cello and piano. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Peter Burwasser Sun., June 3, 3 p.m., $20, Trinity Center for Urban Life, 2212 Spruce St. 267-252-1803,

[ jazz ]

[ classical ]

â&#x153;&#x161; YAPP

â&#x153;&#x161; DOLCE SUONO ENSEMBLE

Unlike the propulsive aggression of his trio Inzinzac, Frenchborn, Philly-based guitarist Alban Baillyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new quartet Yapp focuses on intricate, labyrinthine melodies, inspiring exploration rather than combustion. The band features tenor saxophonist Bryan Rogers and bassist Matt Engle, longtime collaborators in the bands Shot x Shot, Feeler Gauge and the Scriptors, and drummer Dave Flaherty. Baillyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s compositions rely on the play between his slippery guitar and Rogersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; supple tenor, supported by a dexterous rhythmic spine. This performance inaugurates a new bi-monthly series, Rip Rig (wisely downplaying the ex-

Under the bracing leadership of flutist Mimi Stillman, Dolce Suono Ensemble has emerged as a leading benefactor to composers both fledgling and established, with stellar musicianship that attracts new-music creators like bears to honey. The gang seems to be taking a breather for the season closer, with beloved old music of Mozart, Schubert and Beethoven, including songs performed by baritone Brian Ming Chu. Of course, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a little twist: The concert will include the premieres of the celebrated composer Steven

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OPEN MON-THURS at 4PM | FRI-SUN at NOON         




Seven Days a Week. ½ OFF ALL DRAFTS! Kitchen open till 1am every night. Open 5pm-2am 7days a week. CHECK OUT OUR UPSTAIRS: Pool Table, Darts, Video Games!

Corner of 10th and Watkins . 1712 South 10th 215-339-0175 .


portioncontrol By Adam Erace



the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda



NOMAD PIZZA CO. | 611 S. Seventh St., 215-2380900, Open Tue.-Thu., 6-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., noon-11 p.m.; Sun., noon-9 p.m. Appetizers, $6-$12; pizzas, $11-$19; desserts, $5-$6.50. ³ A CLOCKWORK ORANGE is squirming

CAVITY CLUB: Lazor in his natural habitat, the candy aisle at Hung Vuong Supermarket. NEAL SANTOS

[ cheers ]

CHECK, PLEASE A brief toast from CP’s departing food editor. By Drew Lazor


n 2005, when I began writing about restaurants for City Paper as a college intern, I didn’t know shit about food. Almost seven years later, I still don’t. That’s not meant to be facetious or faux-humble. It’s true. And it’s true because no matter how many menus you mangle, chefs you chat up, roasts you ruin or cookbooks you crush, there is always something new to learn on this beat, among the most exciting, strange and challengMore on: ing thickets of the modern editorial jungle. I’m stepping down as CP’s food editor after this issue, but not before taking selfish advantage of this copy hole to share what I’ve picked up along the way. I wish I had some sun-soaked tale about rolling gnocchi with grandma or filleting bass with my Portuguese mariner neighbor to cite as my formative “food moment,” but the truth is that I’m simply a born overeater. My nickname as a baby was “Porker,” which has branded me as a total chunk — if not physically then figuratively — for life. And Philly is exactly where a Porker like me belongs. This is one of the best and most underrated food cities in the country. Here, in no particular order, is a small selection of lessons I’ve learned while eating my way through it. It’s OK to ask questions at a restaurant if you’re genuinely curi-

ous. It’s not OK to ask questions with the sole purpose of “foodie” peacocking. (“My personal forager tells me morels are remarkable this year … but when you say ‘local,’ just how ‘local’ are we talking?”) If you’re at a wine tasting and are forced to share, say you’re getting “notes of currant.” Most people will just nod. Bartenders always say their favorite customers are ones who know what they want. Know what you want and you’ll get it faster. Unless you’re under his or her command, there’s no real need to address a chef as “Chef.” I’ve found that most prefer Steve or Jen. Restaurants notorious for being good and restaurants notorious for being bad are usually not that good and not that bad. Instead of splitting a $60 check seven ways on seven cards, be an adult and pick up the tab for your friends. If they really are your friends, they’ll pick up the next one. MORE FOOD AND When talking to chefs, there’s a differDRINK COVERAGE ence between a sincere compliment and AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / abject ass-kissery. You can spot the latter M E A LT I C K E T. practice from 100 yards out. The telltale sign is the chef shuffling uncomfortably in clogs. Burgers are really good, but they’re just burgers. Never place faith in anyone who drinks dessert-flavored vodka. Anyone who drinks straight bourbon, meanwhile, can be trusted with a newborn. The difference between a crap tip and a great tip is often $5 or less. Life’s short. Tip well. Sometimes, you just gotta go to Chinatown. ( ✚ Let’s be friends on Twitter (@drewlazor) and Tumblr (

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across the projection screen on the second floor of Nomad Pizza. It’s Friday, a movie night, and diners — fans of Kubrick and artisanal Neapolitan pizza alike — are crowded along a communal table built from salvaged floor beams. I like my pies without a side of masochistic violence — food-friendlier viewing fare includes Superbad and Austin Powers — but Nomad’s might just be worth the indigestion. Tucked in the space formerly home to Horizons, this three-month-old pizzeria is the third for Tom Grim and Stalin Bedon. The original is on wheels, cruising Jersey since 2007. The second is a brickand-mortar establishment in Hopewell, just outside Princeton, whose famous university supplied the beams from which the Philly shop’s communal table is built. “There’s a [Philly] pizza renaissance happening,” says Grim, “and it’s great to be a part of that.” Join me in offering him and Bedon a wholehearted welcome. With pies as winning as their mozzarella and spicy sopressata, bright with oregano and sticky with honey, you’ll want to get in their good graces. I love the dynamic texture and yeasty, subtly sour flavor of their pizzas, a credit to the dough, which ages four to six days before seeing 800 to 850 degrees inside the copper-plated wood-burning oven. The clam pizza, which I ordered “Roman style” (a less fermented dough stretched thin as matzo), wasn’t as transcendent as the sopressata, but Nomad recovered with a dessert pie slathered in Nutella and garnished with strawberry hearts and toasted hazelnuts. Chef Charles Menasion does a smattering of salads, too, like slender asparagus in a warm dandelion salad with confit tomatoes. If the meatballs are on special, get them; it’s hard to find ones more tender than his marinara-simmered spheres of beef, pork and veal. The pizzas are the stars, but the starters, desserts — wow, vivid raspberry sorbet from Princeton’s acclaimed The Bent Spoon — and tidy beer and wine lists turn this breezy pizzeria into a legit dining destination. Sure, you can still pop in for takeout, but it’s hard to resist Nomad’s convenient combo. Dinner and a movie 2012, no popcorn required. (

feedingfrenzy By Drew Lazor



the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city food classifieds

[ food & drink ]

JOIN US FOR BEER WEEK 2012… Friday, June 1st Happy hour w/ Coronado Sunday, June 3rd Local draft wine (Galen Glen) vs. local draft beer (Weyerbacher) Tuesday, June 5th 3rd Annual DUNK TANK for PAWS

³ NOW SEATING Morgan’s Pier | The past weekend saw the debut of

Wednesday, June 6th A history of cider w/ Lew Bryson Thursday, June 7th WHITE WHISKEY & white beer






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restaurant bar

this waterfront destination, Four Corners nightlife capo Avram Hornik’s takeover of the old Rock Lobster/Octo. The revamped dockside spot will host live open-air shows/DJs weekly, but the food’s a lure, too: David Katz of Mémé has developed a menu around the idea of a weekend cookout at a chef’s house. Offered till 11 p.m. nightly, Katz has the fried market cornered (S&P squid, popcorn shrimp), but also runs lighter with choices like Baja fish tacos and grilled local corn. Sirloin and tuna burgers and Carolina pulled pork round out the sandwich selection, with a Little Baby’s trike peddling ice cream for dessert. To drink: 20plus drafts, 20-plus craft cans, summer-friendly wines and a full bar. (See our cover story on p. 12 for more.) Open Mon.-Thu., 4 p.m.-2 a.m.; Fri.-Sat., 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 221 N. Columbus Blvd., 215-279-7134, Zen-Nor | Lauren Aukett, a first-time owner, has taken

over the Queen Village space that’s been Gayle and Hoof + Fin for Zen-Nor, a “Zen-themed” restaurant in terms of the décor (they’ve installed an idyllic pond in the space’s back patio area) and the food, from chef Michael O’Mara, late of South Jersey’s M/O Global Bistro. O’Mara has both Asian and French elements (edamame ravioli with Sauternes broth, braised short rib with teriyaki demiglace) on his menu for the BYO, which serves brunch as well. 617 S. Third St., 215-278-2650. ³ LITTLE VITTLES

FEELS BETTER THAN IT SOUNDS Tuesdays 10pm-2am on 19th Between Chestnut and Market


Philly’s location of Shake Shack, the burger-and-fryslinging baby of NYC mega-restaurateur Danny Meyer, will open at 2000 Sansom Street on Wednesday, June 6. ³ Philly’s first mobile frozen-yogurt truck — cutely named Gozen Yogurt, aw! — is vending at Love Park Mondays and Thursdays from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and at 33rd and Arch Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 10:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. ³ The owners of West Philly’s Manakeesh (4420 Walnut St.) are opening Bliss Juices and Ice Cream, a Lebanese-style smoothie and ice cream shop, adjacent to the West Philly café/restaurant. Should be ready in July. ³ Popular Laotian BYO Vientiane Café (4728 Baltimore Ave.) is in the process of doubling in size, expanding into the old Mariposa space next door. Got A Tip? Please send restaurant news to

or call 215-735-8444, ext. 218.


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the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

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P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 3 1 - J U N E 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 37

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

[ i love you, i hate you ] A MOTHER’S LOVE You showered me with all the love that any person can ask for...I love the fact that you raised me and gave me guidance...I mean real guidance...I wish that you were here so that I can learn more about you and I know already that you know the wonderful news that I am pregnant about to get married. I can’t wait to see you again, then you are going to find out if you have a grandson or a grandaughter! I love you forever!

CLOSE YOUR MOUTH You talk entirely too much! I am tired of hearing everything that comes out of your mouth because it is a bunch of garbage! Thank God the time flies, then I don’t have to hear your mouth. I know that you hate your life but you are making everyone else hate your life also! Nobody cares that you make minimum wage, nobody cares that your girlfriend left you...Nobody definitely cares that your dick is small, who gives a shit...They have pumps out there for that now...Why don’t you try investing in that? Sounds like a fucking plan right?

Dynamite-looking ass bitch!!! And another thing.. why don’t you eat your own shit, you look like you already do.. you get on my fucking nerves and that’s why my friend fucking screamed at you and you almost peed your pants! On that note, eat cock and die, plus get ass fucked by your dad, if he still loves you. Bye BITCH!

GLAD NOT TO SEE YOU I don’t want to see your fucking ass because if I see you, I know that I am going to end up cursing at you! You stupid bitch how long and how fucking often do you think that you are going to keep

new edition! I love you and I can’t wait to see you on top of me again.

When are you going to realize how really pathetic you are, especially your little click!



I am not understanding why you are still writing me from fucking prison...It doesn’t make any sense if you ask me...when I came in the house the other day and I saw your letter sitting on the floor I thought to myself, what the fuck does he want now...I haven’t heard from you in a long time... I forgot about you because I wanted to move on with my life. Why are you not moving on with your own? Things have changed...I am in a new

I love the fact that I have so much love surrounding me! I thank you so much for all the blessings that you have laid upon me and around me! Blessing me with good people and good company...I feel very fortunate I wanted to share the love...then to my extra cute boyfriend! I love you so much! I can’t wait to see you and be with you! I think about you so much on my train ride home always thinking about riding that sexy dick!

THE FINE LINE BETWEEN LOVE & HATE I didn’t believe in love at first sight until I saw you at work (I swear I wasn’t shaking my ass at you! but I’m glad you noticed it anyways). I knew from that second that we had to be together, like you were the missing piece in some spiritual puzzle that I had been trying to complete. that was seven months ago and I only love you more as each day goes by. but when we fight...Boy, do we fucking FIGHT! We’ve worked through so much and I believe that we are finally moving past it all, but of course we are going to still have our tiffs. I just wish you would think about your actions and your words more before you display them to me. You’re an amazing man, but you really know how to make me hate you sometimes. it’s funny, though, how much it only makes me love you more in the end. You’re my main man, Joey.

DO YOU HAVE BALLS? You complain to me over and over about how miserable you are! What the fuck is stopping you from moving on with you life? I am tired of hearing it...Don’t you think that everyone has their own issues to contend and deal with? I know I have my own fair share of bullshit...but by listening to your mouth makes the shit worse because I have to sit there and listen and shake my head like I understand...I can understand the whole point of the matter is I just don’t care! Do me a favor...find your balls and when you find them tell them how much you missed them...And if they have gone for good get deep inside yourself and grow some new ones!

UGLY LADY You stupid bitch you fucking kicked me on the side of my leg...I looked at you then you decided after the fact to say sorry or some shit like that... you dumb bitch you know that your 10 1/2 size sneaker was too big to sit in that small space. You know that you kicked me and you still had a ugly look on your face! I still don’t understand what your situation is plus you reeked of some type of stale cigarette! I hope I don’t see your ass the rest of the week we might go to blows!

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DUDE IN YELLOW This goes to the guy standing at the door on the EL stupid ass why the fuck were you wearing yellow pants and a yellow shirt looking all stupid with these big-ass fucking headphones on your really looked like a asshole and the girl that was with you looked more pathetic than anything that one could imagine! People take your time to coordinate your shit before you come outside because if I have anything to do with it...I will clown the shit out of you on this! LOL

YOU ARE NOT FAIR I think about all the bullshit that you do and I believe it is bullshit...I want to slap the taste out of your mouth but for some reason I already know of, if I hit you, you’ll call the police and I will be hauled off to fucking jail! I hate the fact that it is so fucking one-sided at this place...I want out! I believe half of the people want out...You need to let people do their job and learn your place! Stay away from me bitches!

DUMB QUESTIONS If you ask me a question and I give you an answer but the answer is not good enough for you to comprehend what the fuck do you want me to do to furthermore explain the shit! I hate your face so fucking much...Yes, honestly, I want to slap the shit out of you! I think you ask too many dumb-ass fucking questions then when the answer is told to sit there like a asshole and ask the same question all over again! Who fucking does that shit...Stay are super annoying!

FUCKING DICKHEAD GUY Hey piece of shit,why are you so fucking dumb? I see you walking down the hallway and you’re never doing work. Let me tell you something,the next time you talk shit about me or my friend to some dude I don’t even know I swear I’ll push you down a flight of stairs,you fucking Napolean

screwing the neighbors around! You throw things on their porches and you just do what the fuck you want to do! I am tired of the whole fucking thing! If I catch your silly ass throwing shit on my porch I will fuck you up! Don’t think I will not because I will.

GUY OF MY DREAMS I dream of you...I always dream of you..I love the way your eyes light up at night...I think about you inside of me and I drift off to another place feeling so fucking happy and relieved. I love it when I first saw you...I kept my eyes on you the entire time, hoping that you would come back to me and make love to me instantly. You did that now I am in love with you and we are going to be a family with our

committed relationship...he loves me and I love him nothing will ever change that ever — move on with your life!

SKINNY DUDE You know long as I worked with you... I hated you..This is supposed to be a secret but the shit is real...I think you are phony, you never brush your teeth, you have no fashion and you jump into situations that you are just deemed to fuck up more that what you are now! I love the fact that when you see me you don’t speak because I don’t like you...I heard you like getting your dick sucked by your fucked-up spouse...she is a piece of shit also...If that is the only thing that drew you to her both of you losers deserve each other...P.S.

YOUR ASS OWES ME! I can’t stand the fact that you think that you were really the fucking chosen one! Who the fuck really do you think that you aren’t shit to me! I can’t stand anything about you! Had any pussy lately...I guess not...I say that because I can tell the way that you were acting..Stop being a dummy and go for what you know...if you want me come and get it!

✚ To place your FREE ad (100-word limit), go to and click on the LOVE/HATE tab near the top of the page. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

Adoptions ADOPTION

Are you pregnant? A childless married couple seeks to ADOPT. Financial security. Expenses paid. Call Christine & Norbert. Ask for Michelle/Adam 1-800-790-5260.


begin here-Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715. EARN COLLEGE DEGREE ONLINE

*Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV Certified. Call 888-220-3984. SAWMILLS

SAWMILLS from only $3,997M A K E M O N E Y & S AV E MONEY with your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE info & DVD: www.norwoodsawmills. com/300N 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N. WANTED TO BUY

WANTED UNEXPIRED DIABETIC TEST STRIPS: Up to $26.00/Box. PRE-PAID SHIPPING LABELS. Hablamo Espanol. 1-800-266-0702 www.

Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1888-420-3808 www.cash4car. com REMOVE JUNK CARS



Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293


Adopt: “Our life will be complete when we adopt a new born to share our home, security, and endless love. Expenses Paid. Call Jill and Irv at 1-866-2012874” AMFIRE MINING COMPANY, LLC

looking to fill a SURFACE MINE MECHANIC for its Cambria and Somerset Operations. *Seeking experienced mechanic to troubleshoot/perform all routine, scheduled /unscheduled, and preventative maintenance and repairs on heavy surface mine equipment. *The ability to operate surface mining equipment to diagnose problems, position it for repairs to be made and test operate after making repairs. *Current CDL Class-B license with air brake is preferred or willingness to obtain. * Conduct all work activities in compliance with Federal and State Coal mining laws and Company policies, safety procedures, rules, and regulations. * Service truck and some tools provided. *Day shift schedule with some Saturday work required. *Competitive wage based on experience and bonus opportunity. *Full benefits package with no employee contribution. Interested candidates are encouraged to apply to: AMFIRE Mining, One Energy Place, Latrobe, PA 15650 Attn: Human Resources or fax your resume to (724) – 532 – 2070. EOE/AA/Drug Free Workplace ATTN FLATBED DRIVERS -

- $1000 SIGN ON BONUS. *Great Hometime *Excellent benefits + bonuses *Up to 47 CPM *2500 miles weekly *$50 tarp pay (888) 691-5705 CLASS A DRIVERS

Regional up to 42 CPM. Weekly Pay, Benefits, Home Time, Sign ON BONUS. Home Weekly, Consistent Miles/Freight. Day one medical. 866-331-3335. COMPANY DRIVERS

Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.

$2500 Sign-on Bonus! Super Service is hiring solo and team drivers. Great Benefits Package. CDL-A required. Students Welcome. Call 888-441-9358 or apply online at

Garage Sales




Sat., June 2, 9am-4pm, 828B

: HIRING EXPERIENCED/ INEXPERIENCED TANKER DRIVERS! Great Benefits and Pay! New Fleet Volvo Tractors! 1 Year OTR Exp. Req. – Tanker Training Available. Call Today: 877-882-6537 INTERNET

Bundle & Save on your CABLE, INTERNET PHONE & MORE. High Speed Internet starting at less than $20/mo. CALL NOW! 1-800-314-9361 LAND FOR SALE

WATERFRONT PROPERTY SALE, NY: 8 acres waterfront home $99,900. 5 acres West Bass Pond $19,900. 5 Acres Deer Creek Forest $14,900. Financing available. www. 1-888-6832626 OVER 18?

Seeking 1st phenomenal opportunity to earn Big $$$? Travel with young successful business group. No experience Necessary. Paid Training. Transportation /Lodging Provided. 1-877646-5050.



Drivers-CDL-A DRIVERS NEEDED! Up to $3,000 SignOn Bonus for Qualified Drivers! 6 mo OTR exp. req’d. CALL OR APPLY ONLINE 877-521-5775 HELP WANTED DRIVER

NEW TO TRUCKING? Your new career starts now! *$0 Tuition Cost *No Credit Check *Great Pay & Benefits. Short employment commitment required. Call: (866) 447-0377 HELP WANTED!!!

Make money Mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping HomeWorkers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www.


LIVE-WORK-PARTY-PLAY! Play in Vegas, Hang in LA, Jet to New York! Hiring 18-24 girls/guys. $400-$800 wkly. Paid expenses. Signing Bonus. Call 1-866-251-0768. HELP WANTED DRIVER

AVERITT has Great Opportunity for CDL-A Drivers! 42.5 cpm w/1+ Year’s Experience (Depends on Location).Weekly Hometime/Full Benefits! Paid Refresher Course Available. 888-362-8608 EOE HELP WANTED DRIVER

Class-A Team Drivers-Dedicated runs to Mor ton, IL. $1,000/week. $500 Sign On Bonus. Home Weekly. Consistent Miles/Freight. Day one medical. 866-331-3335. www. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Class-A Team Drivers-Dedicated runs to Mor ton, IL. $1,000/week. $500 Sign On Bonus. Home Weekly. Consistent Miles/Freight. Day one medical. 866-331-3335. www.

ATTENTION DIABETICS with Medicare. Get a FREE talking meter and diabetic testing supplies at NO COST, plus FREE home delivery! Best of all, this meter eliminates painful finger pricking! Call 888-856-1106.

Situations Wanted I am looking for work...I am a General Helper that can do anything. You name it.... reliable dependable morning person. Frank 267-9180516.


real estate

Land/ Lots for Sale LAND FOR SALE

Upstate NY Land Sale “Sportman Bargain” 3 acres w/cozy cabin, Close access to Oneida Lake -$75,995. “Large River” over 900 ft. 18 acres along fishing/swimming river -$49,995. “Timberland Investment” -90 acres deer sanctuary, beautiful timber studs, small creaek -$99,995. Over 100 new properties. Call 800-229-7843 Or visit LAND FOR SALE

Virginia Seaside Lots: Spec-

Full or Part-Time. Modern Trucks. Local Orientation. Quarterly Safety Bonus. Single

Torchia & Associates




Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale



OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800638-2102 Online reservations:



Large 1BD in sought after location. Beautiful art-deco details, Front Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Onsite Laundry, New Kitchens Avail, Wonderful City Views. From $1130/mo. 215735-8030. Lic #219789. 15TH/SPRUCE: BEAUTIFUL ART DECO HIGH-RISE

Studio Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitchen, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! From $990/Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789. ?? GOT BED BUGS ??

All areas - Best rates! 267994-4815


Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://


I am currently looking in Center City a one or two bedroom 1st floor front or Rent vacant unit rented. 2 months down. Older male. Ask for Frank 267-918-0516.

Apartments for Rent

Vacation/ Seasonal Rental



15th/Spruce: Large/Bright Studio in Charming Brownstone, HW Flrs, Lrg Closets, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry. $915/Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic # 220402

Pets OK. Available 6/3-6/17 $1400; 6/3-6/10 $850; 6/106/17 $975; 6/17-6/24 $1150; July/August $1350/week. 856-2170025

')!.4 3/54( 0(),,9 &,%! -!2+%4 More Than 100 Vendors!

This Sat, June 2nd (Rain Date - Sunday)



9AM TIL 5PM Vendor Space:

215 - 625 - FLEA (3532)

You’ll never print all those photos on your hard drive. Let us do it for you. Submit snapshots of the City of Brotherly Love, however you see it, at:






Help Wanted – General

tacular 3+ acre estate lots in exclusive development on the seaside (the mainland) overlooking Chincoteague Bay and islands and ocean beyond. Gated entrance, paved roads, caretaker, community dock, pool and club house including owners guest suites. Build the house of your dreams! Unique bank foreclosure situation makes these lots available at 1/3 or original cost. Great climate, low taxes and National Seashore beaches nearby. Only $49,000 to $65,000. For info call (757) 824-5284 email:, pictures on website: www.

1420 Walnut Street, Suite 1216 215-546-1950;

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 3 1 - J U N E 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 45

We buy junk cars/trucks. $350 cash paid, guaranteed. Free towing, same day pick up. 215809-3855




Public Notices

Source Dispatch. Requires 3 months recent experience. 800-414-9569

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market place


Lombard St. Furniture, tools, toys, kitchenware, electronics, books & more.

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Ragdoll Kittens: Beautiful, guaranteed, home raised. Call 610-731-0907 Scottish Fold Kittens for sale. Males / females, very cute, 8 wks. 267-246-9705

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AKC Yorkie F pups Vet chks/shots $695 717-336-4398 Akita: AKC puppies, Born 3/7/12 health guar. Show quality. (856)368-9123 Bernese Mountain dogs, 10 wks, Male. $450. F. $650. Cash only. 717-371-9555 BOXER PUPPIES - AKC, parents on premises. Ready now. $800/ea. 267-912-8540

Cavailer King Charles, AKC, 3 beautiful pups, vet checked, shots, ready to go end of May, can deliver. Call (315)687-0518 Cavalier King Charles M/F, 5 year guar $900. 610-485-4020 or 610-800-1970 Cocker Spaniel M/F, Ready 6/6, shots/ vet, taking deposits $350. 267-242-3408 COCKER SPANIEL Pups, Home Raised, Champion bloodlines. 856-299-0451 COLLIES PUPS 4 whites! Sable F, 4 yrs, normal eyes, Ch. stock. (856)825-4856 English Bulldog pups 1 female 2 males ACA reg 8 weeks old. CALL/TEXT 856-716-0135

English Bulldog Pups - ACA, health cert., gorgeous, 2 fem., $2250. (717)629-8137

English Springer pups, AKC, 2M & 2F, home raised, health guar. (610)323-9170 German Shepherd Dog Pups 1st shots Male Health guar $700 609-858-1807 German Shepherd pups, 3M, 4F, blk/ beige, s/w, papers, $750. 267-736-0502 German Shepherd pups, ACA, 7 M & 2 F, shots, wormed, family raised, cute, $700 F, $800 M, 1 blk, M $900. (717)529-5560

Golden Doodle Pups, home raised by exp. breeder, 610.322.0576, 610.544.2719

Golden Retriever Pups AKC, male & fem, home raised, ready 6/7. (610)286-5502 Great Dane Puppies: AKC Fawn and Brindle colored Parents on premises. $1200. 302-764-3184 /302-379-3423 Great Dane pups AKC, fawn, blk masks, parents on site $650. 302-266-0934 LAB PUPS 100% GUAR. READY NOW, MUST COME SEE!!! 215-768-4344 LAB pups, AKC, English & chmp lines, choc & yllow, ex. pets, broad hds, parents on prem, hlth guar $500. 717-354-2674 Lab Pups, AKC, s/w, home raised, health guar. 610-944-3609 or 610-506-7109 Labradoodle Pups - Chocolate, cream, light brown, playful/cute. 610.636.5090

Maltese Pups - 2M, 2F, parents on premises, ready June 11th. Call 267-992-4252 MALTESE PUPS - Ready to Go! Call 856-875-6707 Old English Bulldogs , registered, 3 Fem, 2 Males, $1600/obo (856)383-6687 PITBULL Pups, M/F, 11 weeks & older, ADBA, S/W, $400 & up. 215-834-1247 PITBULL PUPS UKC: 3 Males, $600 13 weeks old, Call 215-301-8874 POODLE Puppies, miniature, shots, dewormed, males, $259. 267-388-6403 Standard Poodle AKC Champion Bloodline Black, Apricot, Red Standards 610621-2894 WESTIES: Registered, home raised, M’s & F’s shots, wormed, 484-868-8452 Yorkie male pups: home raised, pure bred, starting at $650. Call 215-490-2243 Yorkie Mix Pups, also Hairless shots, wormed vet, $350-$475. 856-563-0351 YORKIPOO Pups 3F Vet chks/shots $495 717-336-4398

Free Kittens, 8 weeks, 6 mos., sweet, silky fur, vet references. 215-985-0567

LOST GERMAN Shepherd male pup, Tacony area REWARD 267.325.6074

Get better matches to your job opportunities with unprecedented efficiency.

merchandise market Pre-1970 comic books, toys, movie TV/ sci-fi wanted. In person. $$ 937.219.5228

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS SOLID MAPLE Brand new soft close/dovetail. Fits 10’x10’ kitchen. More cabinets if needed. Cost $6,400. Sell $1,595. 610-952-0033 Diabetic Test Strips needed pay up to $15/box. Most brands. Call 610-453-2525 LAPTOPS & Desktops FOR SALE $189 and Up. All Must Go!! 610-637-7657. Pinball machines, shuffle bowling alleys Will barter for landscape clean up 215.783.0823 SCUBA EQUIPMENT Tanks, regulators, wetsuits, and much more! Call Sil for more details 856-627-7206

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/BoxsprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033 Bd a Queen Pillow top matt set $175; King $250 mem foam $295. 215-752-0911 BED: New Queen Pillow Top Set $150 . twin, full, king avail. Del avl 215-355-3878 Bedroom Set 5 pc. brand new $399 All sizes, Del. Avail. 215-355-3878 Bedroom set 6 pc. Cherry Brand new, in box $499. 215-752-0911

Dining Room Set, (Traditional, Mahogany) exc cond., $1200/obo (856)589-9807 Gas Range and Microwave: $175. Coffee Table & End Table $100. 267-246-6148 MOVING: Total house furnishings, Especially (high-end) furniture, By appointment (610)543-1666

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $300 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903 SAXOPHONES, WWII, SWORDS, related items, Lenny3619@aol 609.581.8290


CALL 215-669-1924

EAGLES 2 Season Tickets Section 121, Row 4, (42 yard line) Best Offer. 941-751-0478

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000

1700 S. 21st St. 2BR $650/mo. $1,900 move-in. Month to month lease. Fixxed income preferred. 215-910-3529 South Phila. 2 BR $675 Nice Home, very clean. 215-582-8686

11th & Wyoming 1BR $575+utils newly renovated, front porch, back yard, nice basement, (215)276-1097 49xx N 13th St 2br $650 1st/last/sec. 2nd floor. 215-391-9667 5xxx N 15th St. 1br $600+utils renov, 1st, 2nd & 3rd flr, great location & transp. (267)474-2003 or 215-345-0956 Lindley Ave. (nr Belfield) 1BR $550+ Near transp. 2mo. move-in. 267.793.0401

Housekeeper, errands, PT-FT, 5 yrs exp, refs,car,bkgd chk,Overbrook,215.290.2100

Inside Technical Sales / Administrative Support

17xx N 42nd 2br $500+utils newly renov, w/w carpet, 267-235-2879 1xx 56th & Spruce 3BR Must see! Sec. 8 ok. 215-885-1700 40th & Cambridge 2br $645/mo. free utils, Call or text Scott 215-222-2435

Swedesboro, NJ

Reports To: USA Sales Manager. Scientific Instrument Company requires Inside Technical Sales and support person. Min. 3 - 4 years experience in Technical Sales and/or support. College with chemistry / spectroscopy background helpful but will consider individual with laboratory experience in other disciplines. Must be able to work independently in professional environment. Email:

apartment marketplace 10th & Snyder 1br $975 Brownstone Penthouse, ultra modern, C/A, W/D, hdwd flrs, deck. 215-463-7374

42xx Otter St 1BR $525+ gas & elec $1575 move in. 267-402-8836 53xx Walnut St. 2BR $750+electric 2nd flr, carpeted, nr SEPTA 215-432-7722 55th & Baltimore 2BR $650 carpet, Near trans/college. 215-474-3536 58th & Lansdowne 2BR $600+utils Fresh paint. Avail Immed. 610-864-6315 60th & Callowhill 1br $600+utils newly remodeled, Call (267)235-1499 902 N 41st St. 1br $600/mo. lrg, 2nd flr, 1st mo rent+ sec 215.292.4145

West Philadelphia 1br 1st floor, Please Call 215-219-9552 W. Phila 4 & 5 br Bi-Levels Avail Now Move in Special! 215-386-4791 or 4792

60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ near Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534 Einstein Hosp. area 2Br $775 Duplex, Call 215-643-4376

Front & Olney clean 2BR newly renov., must see! 267-254-8446

55th & Wyalusing Ave 2br/1ba $550+ut newly renovated, Call (215)828-1101

102 Manheim small & lrg 1Br units $575-$700. great transp 610-287-9857 5201 Wayne Ave. Studio & 1BR On site Lndry 215.744.9077 Lic# 311890 607 E. Church Lane 2BR nr LaSalle Univ,215.744.9077 lic# 494336 W. Seymour St. nice 2 BR $750+ utils 1 mo rent + 1 mo sec. 215-548-2259

16xx Roumfort Rd. 1br $800+utils air, w/d, garb disp, Call 267-872-2472

HOPKINSON HOUSE Studio with balcony, 625 sq ft, Overlooks Washington Square Park, $1255/mo. available July 1st. (215)627-2339

Brynmawr & Wynnefield small 1BR $700 heat incl., w/w carpets. Call 215.877.1097

1xx W. Sharpnack 1BR $700+utils 2nd flr, great location, newly renov., heat incl., no pets. Call 215-549-9181 3xx E Upsal St. 2 BR $740+ utils new renov, $1600 move-in 610.675.7586 83xx Temple Rd. 2Br $700 1st floor. Call Mr. Green (215)247-2144 GREENE & HARVEY - SPRING SPECIAL! Lux. Garden type 1BR’s Newly dec, w/w, g/d, a/c, cable ready, Laundry/off st prkg. Nr trans 215-275-1457 215-233-3322

Locust at Broad Lux studio Condo $975 incl util, gym, C/A, wifi, d/w 856.234.6491

1641 W Lehigh Ave. studio All Util Incld Newly renov. 215-744-9077, Lic #374062 25xx N 18th St. 2BR $400+ utils Call Gene for appointment, 215-525-6315 36xx Old York Rd. 2BR $675/mo new renov., 1st/last/sec. 215-650-7378 5th & Allegheny 2br $600 Newly renovated. Call 215-209-9091

42xx Frankford Efficiency $500/mo. 2nd Flr, near transp. Call 215-289-2973 4657 Penn St. 1br $565+elec $1130 move-in. 1st floor 267-255-6322 4840 Oxford Ave Studio & 1Br Ldry, 24/7 cam lic# 214340 215.744.9077 50xx Penn St. 3BR-4BR Renovated, 2 bath. 267-230-2600

926 Race St. 2Br/1Ba $1,450/mo 850sf, spac., close to trans 856.630.5317


** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

7xx N. 4th St. 1BR $640+utils W/D, hdwd flrs, new renov. 302.584.6485

1100 S 58th St. Studio & 1BR Apts newly renov, lic #362013 215-744-9077 20xx S. Salford 1Br $550 renov, W/D hkup, Sec 8 OK 267.230.2600

2012 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, Cover. Factory warranty. Never installed! Beautiful. Cost $6,000. Ask $2,500. Will deliver. 610-952-0033


apartment marketplace

S Broad St/Avenue of the Arts 1br $895 Ultra modern, marble BA, jacuzzi, hwd flr, c/a, deck, w/d. 215-463-7374

74xx Brocton: Haverford & City Line 2br $800+gas & elec., nice block, fresh paint, new carpet, 2nd floor, $2400 move in. 215-659-5348. Various 1 & 2 BR Apts $750-$895 215.740.4900

27xx Albert St 4br/1ba $1100/mo Rehab. Call Greg 215-668-3990

211 Lockhart Lane 2BR $750 1st floor, garage, basement, laundry, back yard, driveway, all new appliances, ready now, no pets or smoking. 215-464-0759 60xx Torresdale Ave 1br $650+utils storage, section 8 ok. Call 267-992-3233

Academy & Grant 2BR $795+ 1st flr,w/w, c/a,off st prkg 856.346.0747

Germantown fully furn, newly built rms use of house, laundry. 267-600-1584 Hse, rms, apts for rent, SSI welcome. No Drugs or Alcohol. reasonable 267.242.3311 Hunting Park Area $110/wk. Large room, share kitchen & bath. 215-668-6826 Logan/WP/NP private entry, furnished, $85-$115/wk. also effic’y. 609-526-5411

Blvd/Tyson Vic. 2BR $725+utils 2nd floor duplex, wall/wall carpet, fridge, a/c, no pets. Please Call (215) 605-9736.

North 57th St. $125/wk. Very lrg, newly renov., furn. 267-721-5813 Bridesburg 2br $800 N. Phila. close to transportation $90/wk newly renovated apts, 2nd flr, C/A, wood $225 mv-in 215-765-5578 flooring, garbage disposal, stackable Olney & N. Phila. Furn rms cpt, nr trans, washer/dryer, Call 215-399-6251 kit, coin W/D, $55+. Call 516-527-0186 Bridge & Pratt Efficiency $425+elec,gas Temple Area: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free 215-613-8989 or 267-746-8696 utils, cable, internet. Call 267-331-5382 Grant & Bustleton 2br Condo $895 W Phila & G-town: newly ren lg, lux rms prvt balcony w/garden view 215.943.0370 /apts. ALL utils incl, SSI ok, 215-833-4065

TACONY 1BR $450 + utils Close to Center City train. 215-355-3548

WARMINSTER Lg 1-2-3 BR Sect. 8 OK 1 MONTHS FREE RENT!!! HURRY!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for Details: 215-443-9500

Pottstown 2BR/ 1BA $750 new cpt,W/D in unit,Caitlan 917.406.2868

DREXEL HILL: Cozy furn. room includes bed, TV, A/C, utilities. $450/mo. + $225 Sec. Dep. Call John (610)259-7039.

1338 W. Toronto St., newly renov. rms, $100/wk & up. utils incl. (302)373-0751 19xx Erie Ave, luxury rm, xtra clean, ideal for seniors, $90/wk SSI ok. 215-920-6394 24xx N 10th rooms $300 to move in $100/wk Call Greg 215-668-3990 2718 N. 28th St. pvt kit, bath, entry. $135 wk, $405 move in 267.250.0761

53xx Girard Ave: Large clean rooms $100-$110/week. Call (215)917-1091

56xx Morton St: Quiet victorian Row house, newly renovated, near Lasalle & trans., students welcome, $125/wk, $300 sec., 1st week rent req. 267-351-5547 59th St S., near El, cozy, furn, a/c, $90/wk, $90 sec, references 215.472.8119

26xx Parrish 3BR/2.5BA $1,900+utils Townhouse, garage, rear yard, C/A, W/D, near transportation. Call 267-939-4959

14xx S. Etting 3 BR $675+utils. 28th & Reed. Avail. June 1st. $675 dep. + $1,250 move-in. Call 215-365-4567 18xx Sigel 3br Row $495+ Please Call 215-701-7076 2117 Pierce St. All new rehab-3Bdms/1Ba. PHA voucher accepted. Call 267-701-7845 21xx Manton St 3br/1ba $825+utils newly remod., hwd flrs, new kit w/granite countertops, new bathroom (215)917.1091 Grays Ferry 2br/1ba $750 13xx S. Stanley St., yard, porch, close to everything, avail immed. (267)574-4163

1350 S. Paxon St. All new rehab-3Bdms/1Ba. PHA voucher accepted. Call 267-701-7845 25xx Bonaffon (67th & Elmwood) 3BR Enclosed porch, $800+ utils "The Landlord That Cares" Tasha 267.584.5964, Mark 610.764.9739 65xx Regent St. 3BR $700/mo. Freshly painted. Call 215-868-2032

65xx Saybrook Ave. 3Br newly renovated, Sec 8 ok 267-467-0140 8xx S. Alden St. 3br/1ba sec 8 ok., Call Ms. Green 215-520-9800 SW (Elmwood Area) modern 3br house new crpts, sect. 8 welcome 215.726.8817

652 Brooklyn, $125 week. $375 to move in. Furn w/refrige, no kitch 215-781-8049

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N. & W. Phila. Starting @ $125/wk 610.667.9675

ALLEGHENY $90/wk. $270 sec dep Nr L train, furn, quiet. 609-703-4266 Darby area. N/S, $450/mo, furn., cable & utils incl, use of house 484-469-0753 E. Mt Airy, large room with private bath, $160/week, utils included. 215-630-7639 Fairmont Park area $110/week use of entire house, central air Call 215-715-4215 ask for Kevin

Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $250 sec, $85/wk & up. 215-526-1455

59th & Spring St 4br/2ba $1195+ Section 8 OK. Call 267-753-5403 707 N. 42nd St. 6 BR/2 BA open Saturday, sect. 8 ok, (718)679-7753 W. Phila 1br-3br Apts & Houses, $600$800. 1st/last/sec. 215-878-2857

Cash paid on the spot for unwanted vehicles, 24/7 pick up, 215-288-9500

27xx W Seltzer St. 2BR/1BA $650 utils Porch, newly decor, large Basement 215-429-9649

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

30xx N. Bonsall St. 2BR $725/mo. plus util. Need $2,175. 215-519-5995 46xx Palethorp St. 2BR $650 plus deposit. Call Tan 267-287-3175

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

Lawncrest: 5xx Anchor St. 3Br/1Ba Section 8 ok. 215-407-2559

48xx Clapiers 5BR $1200 1st/last/sec, Sec 8 OK. 718-882-2173 53xx Wingohocking Terrace 4br/1ba newly renovated, sec 8 ok 267.467.0140 Germantown & Duval 4br/1.5ba $1100+ new renov,backyd,fin bsmnt 215.901.7420

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

CHEVY S-10 4WD 2003 $6300 ac,auto,bedliner, X-cnd,40k 610-279-8110

BMW 325I Convertible 1990 $4,000 Classic, 130K. Call Sil 856-627-7206 BUICK LESABRE 1997 $2,850 79k, mint, inspec., 610-667-4829 Cadillac Catera Sport 2001 $2575 lthr, moonrf, 17" rims, wing 267.592.0448 CHEVY IMPALA 2004 178k $2495 VOLVO V70 2000 155k $2695 BUICK LESABRE 1999 130k $2195 DODGE CARAVAN 2000 140k $2195 CHEVY BLAZER 4x4 1999 170k $2695 BMW 525i 1997 200k $3995 Call Sam, 215-495-9336 Chrysler Sebring 2006 $3999/obo 83k, 4cyl. great cond. 610-348-3228 DODGE RAM CARGO VAN 2000 $2975 6cyl, auto, AC, 1 own, 69k 215-601-6665 Ford Explorer Sport 2001 asking $1,750 2 door, 4x4, loaded, clean 215-847-7346 Ford Focus 2002 $2,450 4 door, moonroof, cold AC 609.221.7427 Ford Focus 2002 $2,850 4 door, moonroof, cold AC 609.221.7427

Ford Mustang 1988 $2,000 Convertible, automatic. 215.272.2686 Ford Windstar GL 1996 $1,550 Auto, A/C, 97K, clean. 215-620-9383 Honda Accord SE 1997 $3,000 Low miles, great shape. (215) 219-0797 Honda Civic LX 1996 $2700 115k, auto, 4 dr, insp, green 215.900.6299 Hyundai Sonata 2003 $1699/bo 4 cyl, auto, all power, (267)825-2315 Olds Achieva (Grand AM) 2001 $2150 4 dr, 6 cyl, loaded, clean, 215-280-4825 Pontiac Grand PrixLE 1992 $1,150 all pwr, insp. runs exc. 215-620-9383 SUZUKI MOTORCYLE GSX 1100G 1991 $3500/bo orig,x-cln, 8K, fast215.601.6665 Toyota Camry LE 1993 $1150 auto, a/c, 4 cyl., new insp. (215)620-9383

VOLKSWAGEN Jetta 2002 $4700 4 door, automatic, clean, excellent condition, gray, Please Call 215-927-9722

70xx Louise St. 4br/2ba beautiful, renov., sec 8 ok, 215-609-5207 Oaklane: 2467 79th Ave. 2br OPEN HOUSE, May 27th 3-5p. Any questions call 215-324-1365

31xx Janney St. 2BR/1BA $750/mo. Freshly renov., sec. 8 ok, rear yard. Call Tony (215) 953-1255 leave message.

19xx Somerset 2BR $585+utils fenced backyd, 3 mo mvn 215-514-0653 32xx N Philip 3br/1ba $690+utils wall/wall carpets, porch. 215-836-1960

Olney Area 2br sec 8 ok, remodeled, 267-939-6965

11*** Bustleton Ave 3BR/1BA $1,500 UTL INC, Central, Laundry, 1250SF, Hard & Carpet Fl, Liv, Din, Kit, Closets, Yards. 215-888-2717

13xx E. Luzerne St 2br duplex newly reno, Sec 8 approved 267.467.0140

MAYFAIR 3BR $1,150+ utils St. Matthew’s Parish. Call 215-421-9606

Darby 3br/1ba $950+utils prch,yd,close shop & transp 610.696.2022

automotive A4 2009 $21,900 prem pckg, 44K, 4 cyl turbo 302.584.0631

1993 40th Anniversary Edition $19,200 Convertible, 6 speed, 38k. (609)217-8519

F350 XLT Crew Cab 1999 $9700/obo 4WD, SuperDuty, new tires 610-585-0510 Ford 2000 Luxury Conv Van (new body style) a/c, full pwr, orig mi, running boards, prem tires, mag whls, like new quick private sale, $3,985. 215-922-5342

NJ shore, 40ft Breckenridge park model, screen rm, slps 6 $16K/obo 484.574.9445


Frankford: $450/mo incl. utils & mini fridge, single occupant. 215-259-8666

2Br, 3Br & 4Br Houses Sec. 8 welcome beautifully renovated, (267)981-2718 2xx S Cecil 3br/1ba $800+utils section 8 ok, Call (215)385-0762 52xx Walton 4BR, 2BA $925+ Fenced yard. Call 215-768-0926 55xx Walpon 3BR $750 nice block, hardwood floors, completely renov., gorgeous, Sec. 8 ok 267-249-6645 58xx Cedar 4BR/1BA beautiful, Newly renov., W/D, D/W, C/A, fridge, section 8 ok. 215-605-8747

22xx N Cleveland St 2br $750+utils section 8 approved, newly renovated, available immediately, 215-680-2538

low cost cars & trucks

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29th & Cecil B Moore, More locations. Shared kit/bath, $75-$110.267-816-3058

homes for rent

$250 & UP FOR JUNK CARS Call 215-722-2111


Academy & Grant 2br $750 utils incl. 1st flr, updated, w/d incl. 267-266-1671

Germantown $100-$110/wk Newly renov. 2 rooms available. 215-205-2452 Germantown: Apsley St. Rms $125/wk Share kitchen & bath. 267-338-9870 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890

56xx Haddington Ln. 3Br/1.5Ba $900 modern, fin bmnt, backyard 215.879.1962

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Philadelphia City Paper, May 31st, 2012  

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