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Oct. 28 - Nov. 4, 2010 #1327 |

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pat

TOOMEY will eat your

BRAINS

and 666 other reasons not to vote for him *

BY JEFFREY C. BILLMAN

* GIVE

OR TAKE 600


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#13 of 360 reasons why

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contents Toomey’s a douchebag

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Nursing the last vestiges of hope

Y

ou know what this week is? election week! Which, for us, is like christmas morning and that time we discovered our older brother’s Juggs collection all rolled into one. And so, we thought it right and proper to dedicate this column to tuesday’s elections, which will either usher in the republican revolution 2.0, or expose the punditocracy as the mindless regurgitators of conventional wisdom we assume them to be — or neither, or both! See? Anything can happen. oh, the fun. Well, oK, maybe “fun” isn’t the right word, seeing as how much is at stake: health care reform, Wall Street reform, climate change, civil liberties, a woman’s right to choose, tax cuts for bajillionaires, the popular sanctioning of the blithering idiot mob known as the tea Party. And, indeed, there’s a very good chance that nov. 2 will drive us into a deep depression that will worsen every time we hear the words “Senator Sharron Angle.” but hey, that’s next week; for now, let’s nurse those very last vestiges of hope, and perhaps allow ourselves to believe, for one fleeting second, that this country hasn’t been overridden by backwater illiterates who believe barack obama is the Antichrist and Sarah Palin is a voice of reason. A few pages hence you’ll find our detailed treatise against Pat toomey — short version for the ADHD crowd: toomey is a whore for Wall Street, and a virulent puss to everyone else — which is guaranteed to be the best listicle you’ll find in a Philadelphia alter-

native newsweekly this week. but that doesn’t give Joe Sestak’s allies at the Democratic Senatorial campaign committee (DScc) a pass for their despicable anti-chinese ads. Yes, toomey is a fan of outsourcing, and yes, he supports unfettered trade with china. those facts are fair game. However, in what universe does toomey’s remark, “It’s great that china is modernizing and growing,” mean, as the DScc posits in a television ad, “He’s not for you”? As blogger Adam ozimek of modeledbehavior.com recently noted, china’s modernization has “lifted literally hundreds of millions of people out of poverty.” And yet, this is being portrayed — by the allegedly inclusive Democratic Party — as, like, a bad thing. to make matters worse, the DScc’s ad uses a gong and fortune cookie to drive the point home — toomey equals china, and China equals bad. Just a thought here, but maybe the Democrats should aim a little higher than blatant xenophobia.

Ahead: a blithering idiot mob!

: EVIL We really wish this was the final installment of the how evil is tom Corbett? Barometer™, your guide to the gubernatorial

candidate’s villainy. but judging by corbett’s consistent (if shrinking) lead over dan Onorato (that’s On-o-rat-o) and the fact that you bum liberals never muster the .0005 kilowatts of energy it takes to vote in midterm elections, we’re guessing corbett’s got this. In which case you’ll have elected a true-blue woman hater, Pennsylvania. not only does he want control of your womb, ladies, but

back in 1996, corbett — in his first stint as the state’s attorney general — filed a brief in support of the Virginia Military institute’s (vmI) policy banning women from its student body. vmI, you’ll recall, lost; the U.S. Supreme court, on a 7-1 vote, found that its policy violated the 14th amendment, since vmI was publicly funded. corbett told the Inquirer this week that he merely wanted to protect Pennsylvania’s same-sex colleges from losing their tax-exempt status, an explanation the Inky accepted and moved on. In reality, however, corbett’s 22-page brief was not nearly that narrow: It argued in support of what the court called a “substantially different and significantly unequal” arrangement, wherein would-be female vmI students would be shuffled off to a markedly inferior institution. It also begged the court not to impose what’s called “strict scrutiny” — the standard applied to race-discrimination cases — on gender-related cases. At the time, corbett’s spokesman said he was worried such a ruling would “make it easier to prove gender discrimination” (apparently, a bad thing). In the brief, corbett argued that such a ruling might force the male-female >>> continued on adjacent page


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<<< continued from previous page

desegregation of prisons and end the male-only military draft.

Ultimately, the court created a new standard for gender cases, so, corbett says, he won. And yes, the court ruled that same-sex schools were oK, but that wasn’t the point: vmI’s discrimination was problematic because it was a unique opportunity denied to women, on account of nothing but their lady parts. And it’s worth reiterating that corbett specifically asked the court to uphold vmI’s male-only policy, no matter what he says now. For that, he gets a 20 on the 23point heitC?B™, at least until he owns up to his chauvinistic past.

: NUGGETS Finally this week, some odds and ends: We listened in last week on an Organizing for america-Pennsylvania conference call with U.S. rep. chaka Fattah and michael blake, the Democratic national committee (Dnc) aide tasked with getting AfricanAmericans to the polls — which is, indeed, the Democrats’ best bet to stave off disaster. In fact, the polls predicting a Dem slaughter assume that minority (and younger) voter turnout will be down significantly from 2008. So, blake informed us, the Dnc will spend $3 million in advertising targeting black voters, compared to $260,000 in 2006. that’s great and all, but here’s the part that grabbed us. Fattah, in noting that President Obama will come back to Philly before the election: “more importantly, the first lady is coming in.” next: If you’re like us, you’ve stayed up late at night wondering where Karl rove will be the day after the election. (besides being

e vA n m . L o P e z

 A Million Stories

fellated by Sean hannity, of course.) Wonder no more: turd Blossom will spend that afternoon in Pittsburgh as the “special lunch speaker” for the developing

thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[0]

Gubernatorial candidate Tom Corbett calls his opponent Dan Onorato’s recent ad “despicable and unforgiveable.” “Which reminds me, I’ve got a new campaign web­ site, danonoratobangedyourdeadgrandpa. com. Check it out, cool Flash intro.”

[0]

“Tom Corbett’s hometown near Pittsburgh seems a time capsule of the suburban 1960s, when the handsome lawyer’s son was mascot for Shaler High’s football Hus­ kies and starred in the senior play Our Hearts Were Young and Gay,” writes The Inquirer. New Onorato ad: “Corbett was young and gay!”

[ - 4]

South Philly prepares to celebrate the re­ stored mural of former Mayor Frank Rizzo. By beating black people with nightsticks.

Unconventional Gas east

conference for marceullus Shale drillers, where he’ll be speaking on the “midterm elections and its impact on the gas industry.” We hate those people a little more every day. Last: We weren’t going to issue endorsements this election, but last week, we had coffee with Manan trivedi, the Iraq vet and physician running for congress against republican mushball Jim Gerlach in the 6th District, which spans montgomery, chester, berks and Lehigh counties, and the conversation reminded us that we totally have a school-girl crush on him [election Issue, cover Story, “vote for manan trivedi,” may 13, 2010; cP choice, “Government & Politics,” oct. 21, 2010]. So we’ll make an exception: Vote for trivedi. If you don’t live in his district, find some other way to help out (ahem, trivediforcongress. com). congress desperately needs more pragmatic, intelligent and fiercely independent members. In other words, it needs manan.  This week’s report by Jeffrey C. Billman and Holly Otterbein. E-mail us at

amillionstories@citypaper.net. And get your daily fix of news and commentary on The Clog, citypaper.net/clog.

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[ is the love shack in an orgy of political activities ]

[ + 1] Frankford­based State Rep. Tony J. Payton

Jr. helps a teenage girl high on PCP. Now that girl is valedictorian at CCP.

[ - 5]

Gov. Ed Rendell declares the Marcellus Shale gas tax dead. Come on, we’ve seen all those stupid Scream movies, Eddie.

[ + 5] After calling the Marcellus Shale gas tax

theotherwhitemeat ➤ clowncrack.com

[ - 2]

The new vice chairman of the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission has an employee drive his wife around on the state’s tab. And his mistress has an E­ZPass.

[ + 3] Elementary students in North Philly cel­ ebrate the opening of a new library. Mayor Nutter shuts it down.

[ + 2] Mayor Nutter and City Council give an

award to Frank Bender, a sculptor who makes busts of the dead that help inves­ tigators identify bodies. His work has in­ spired a new CBS spin­off, CSI: Insanely Inefficient Ways to Solve Crime.

[ + 1] Andrew W.K. prepares to host the “Most Interesting Show” at World Café Live. And yes, air quotes are part of the title.

[0] Mr. fiSh

Drinker’s Tavern will turn into Moe’s, aka Homer Simpson’s favorite bar, for Hallo­ ween. BYO purple cough syrup.

This week’s total: 1 | Last week’s total: 2

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“dead,” Gov. Rendell says he’ll begin talks again if the state Senate is willing. OH SHIT! Did NOT see that coming! Just spilled Sno­ Caps everywhere!




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The Good FiGhT Round two of gay rights champion vs. defender of marriage in Chester County. By Holly Otterbein

Amazing Race meets Philadelphia

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erhaps in any another year or district, Fern Kaufman’s political weaknesses would be easily recast as selling points. After all, the fortysomething, who’s running for state representative in chester county, is a rational, buoyant, realistic and scrappy woman. She has close-cropped brown hair and a cadence that hearkens back to her childhood home in the northeast, right across from roosevelt mall. She’s been in the pharmacy industry for most of her career, and currently works as a corporate pharmacy director in north Philly. the problem is, her opponent is the 26th District’s 18-year incumbent. She’s also apodictically a political newbie — she’s never been so much as a class vice president — save for her almost successful run in ’08 for the same position. She is a true-blue liberal in the deep-red countryside. And, of course, she’s gay. the latter may not seem like such an electoral handicap when barack obama and Hillary clinton are posting “It Gets better” messages on Youtube, but Harrisburg is an anachronistic place: If elected, Kaufman would be the first openly homosexual legislator in Pennsylvania. It’s hard not to see her campaign as a challenge to homophobia itself — which is perhaps why you should pay closer attention to this state race than the mostly preordained ones throughout Philly. Her opponent, State rep. tim Hennessey, voted for an anti-gay-marriage amendment to the state constitution in 2006; in a 2008 political ad, he called Kaufman a “left-wing extremist” for writing for the online newspaper QUEERtimes. conversely, Kaufman is as pro-homo as they get: chief among her goals is passing legislation that would make it illegal to fire someone because they’re gay. In much of Pennsylvania, employers can do this with impunity, and Kaufman says she’s suffered through it firsthand. In 2009, she lost her management position at catholic Health east on the main Line. “[It was] more of a conservative organization and I was running as a social progressive,” she says, “and I don’t think they were happy having me there.” However, because of state law, “I couldn’t even file a complaint with the Human relations commission, which is not fair. that’s not a gay issue; that’s a civil rights issue.” to compound matters, she’s a woman, which is almost as much of a fetter; only 27 — or 13 percent — of the commonwealth’s 203 representatives are female, which makes ours the sixth most maledominated state legislature in the country. this homogeneity is, in part, why councilman Frank Dicicco is endorsing Kaufman — and maybe why she came close to winning in 2008. “the real world is made of men and women, and when you don’t have that balance in politics, big issues are left out,” he says. Kaufman adds, “It’s about getting a seat at the table. If you don’t, you’re on the menu, and that’s where the LGbtQ community has been for way too long. this way, they have to look me in the eye on the House floor if they want to ban gay marriage. that’s extraordinarily powerful.” What’s striking is that, despite these drawbacks, Kaufman still garnered 48 percent of the vote in 2008 — leading some to believe that she’s a bellwether of state politics. two years later, Kaufman’s gained name recognition, but at the same time, she won’t be able to coast on an obama-boosted Democratic ticket. Does she — and Pennsylvania’s gay community — have a chance at that coveted table? G. terry madonna, a Pennsylvania politics scholar at Franklin & marshall college, is torn. though he can’t recall an openly gay candidate ever running for the state legislature before, he says, “that’s not her biggest problem. Her problem is that she’s running against an incumbent, and it’s an extremely good year for republicans.”

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Fern Kaufman wants to be Pennsylvania’s first openly gay state legislator. In her way? Eighteen-year incumbent and ardent anti-gay-marriage zealot Tim Hennessey. neal santos

However, he points out that Kaufman could capitalize on the fact that “there are relatively few institutions less popular than Harrisburg.” With a 25 percent approval rating and bonusgate lingering in voters’ minds, incumbent state legislators are in a similar boat as republicans in ’08. Fundraising bears that out: Kaufman has collected $31,800 since 2009; Hennessey brought in $32,400 during the same time period. but Kaufman has another hurdle: her unripened politics. though she’ll talk endlessly and articulately about the topics she’s familiar with in her real life — gay and civil rights, health care, business and finance — she’s green on much else. She supports a severance tax on the marcellus Shale, but she isn’t sure how much it should be, exactly. She’s all for campaign finance limits, but again, she doesn’t have precise numbers. She wants to rid Harrisburg of wastefulness, and is crystal clear about her desire for an independent office to study the state’s fiscal condition; however, she won’t say for certain if she’d eliminate walking-around money or lower prison costs or tackle any of those other thousands of issues that’ve long been criticized as unthrifty. Several times throughout a recent interview, Kaufman said things like, “I have to be honest, I don’t have a solid position on that yet,” and, “there’s no way of knowing that as a political outsider.” but what’s worse: Inexperience, or a homophobic, longtime incumbent who supported Attorney General tom corbett’s lawsuit against the federal government over health care reform, and sponsored only 12 pieces of legislation since 2009? chester county, which is made up of everything from the mostly black city of coatesville to the tepid suburbia of West chester, will make that call. As for the rest of us watching from across the interstate, perhaps what’s most important is not just that Kaufman is running again — but that she seems to have a puncher’s chance of winning. (holly.otterbein@citypaper.net)

“It’s about getting a seat at the table. If you don’t, you’re on the menu.”


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[ rants ]

BOUGHT AND PAID FOR Who needs elections? Let’s have auctions. By Isaiah Thompson

M

aybe instead of getting candidates together on stage for tiresome policy debates, forcing them to answer endless questions about their positions and plans, then holding those pesky elections, we in Pennsylvania ought to just go ahead and hold a public auction — highest bidder gets to choose the governor, senator, whatever, winner take all. Pennsylvania (as we note election after election) is one of just 11 states that place no limits on individual campaign contributions. While other states enforce individual contribution limits ranging from $500 per candidate to tens of thousands of dollars, Pennsylvania allows — welcomes, you might say — donations of mind-boggling proportions. Among the top donations collected by our gubernatorial candidates, for example, are these sparkling rubies, unearthed in a report by common cause Pennsylvania and the conservation voters of Pennsylvania: corbett has received more than $856,000 from the natural gas industry, as it busily sets up shop in Pennsylvania. For some reason, the natural gas industry just likes to heap money upon corbett. And for some reason, corbett just refuses to support a tax on natural gas production, despite potential costs in infrastructure damage and environmental degradation, and despite the clear-asdaylight absurdity of industry claims that even a small tax would deter them from tapping one of the richest supplies of natural gas in the United States. In fact, the only people in Pennsylvania who actually seem to believe that could happen are the gas drillers themselves — and the politicians they heap money upon.

not that Dan onorato has exactly been turning over tables at the temple of democracy: He, too, has received substantial money from the gas industry — though only about $124,000. He favors a tax on gas production. And that’s just one powerful special-interest group here. the gambling industry is another cash cow for state pols: Since 2001, the gaming industry has donated at least $4.4 million. ten casinos later, things seem to have turned out well for them. overall, corbett has raised more than $6 million, and onorato has trailed with an oh-so-humble $3.5 million. meanwhile, in federal elections, the Supreme court’s recent citizens United v. Federal elections commission ruling allowing corporations to spend unlimited amounts on election ads was an invitation to a giant orgy of untraceable political activities, and Pennsylvania seems to be this year’s love shack: According to The Washington Post, interest groups and political parties have spent more than $17 million on the Pennsylvania Senate race — $9.8 million supporting republican Pat toomey, and $7.9 million supporting Democrat Joe Sestak. backing toomey are such opaque sources as the U.S. chamber of commerce ($1.7 million) and club for Growth ($2.1 million). not a member? Well, toomey was its president from 2005 to 2009, and reorganized the club as a 501(c)(4) corporation so it could donate huge sums culled from anonymous donors to politicians — like, for example, him. Sestak has received less aid from third-party groups, but plenty nonetheless. the national education Association has chipped in $500,000; votevets.org has spent $462,000. What does this mean for you, dear readers, who (we’ll assume) don’t have $10,000 checks at your disposal? It means that whatever

Whatever donation you can afford is worth less all the time.

[ the naked city ]

political donation you can afford is worth less and less all the time. And while the citizens United decision means that federal elections will probably remains a free-for-all for the foreseeable future, Pennsylvania could limit the pernicious influence of special interests, powerful PAcs and anonymous money factories on state races with the simple stroke of a pen. “If you get people off the record, they’ll tell you that money plays a role in everything that happens in Harrisburg. What it certainly does is get you on the agenda,” says barry Kauffman, executive director of common cause Pennsylvania, which has supported efforts to limit statewide donations. “thirtynine other states have figured it out.” And indeed, Senate bill 1269, which would limit contributions, has some bipartisan support. However, it’s been stalled in the State Government committee since march, and that committee’s chair, Sen. charles t. mcIlhinney (r-10th District), doesn’t seem in a hurry to move it along. In the meantime, while giant corporations and private slush funds can spend, they can’t vote. You can. (isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net)

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www.PhillyYoungPlaywrights.org


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DA98>IN=6AADL::C'%&% HjcYVn!DXidWZg(&!&%Vb"&eb Trick or Treat through Old City

Visit TRUST with your children to experience Halloween with activities, atmosphere, CANDY and costumes (pets are welcome, too!). Admission $20/Child, Adults Free Free Trick or Treat throughout Old City at more than a dozen locations! Participating Business (will have Orange balloons outside)

J Karma, Plough in the Stars, More than Old, Panorama, Three Sirens Boutique, Optique, Triumph Brewery, Franklin Fountain, Scarlett Alley, Old City TShirts, Betsy Ross House, Hudson Beach Glass, Q BBQ & Tequila, Dinardos, Melanie’s Place, Old City Ironworks, Bonejour

HVijgYVn!DXidWZg(%!.eb"'VbHaunting of the Corn ExchangeOld City Halloween Party At TRUST. Tickets: $40. Includes 4 hour Open Bar, Food, DJ, Scary Movies, Living Bars, and more...

Purchase Tickets at lll#daYX^in]VaadlZZc#Xdb or through the TRUST facebook page. Support the Old City Business Collective by having friends vote on the nights best halloween costume. Top 3 will win free admission. For details visit www.Heroween.com.

hedchdgZYWn/ Old City Business Collective, MVPR, Event FX, Creative Juice, B.Smtih Catering, Party Rental Ltd., Creative Juice Skinny Water, MyDunkTank.com & HEROWEEN.com, American Furniture Rental, Popchips, And more…

For more information visit lll#daYX^in]VaadlZZc#Xdb or visit the TRUST facebook page 249 Arch Street | Philadelphia, PA 19106 | 215.592.8400 | www.TheTRUSTVenue.com

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;g^YVn!DXidWZg'.Haunted Halloween Exhibit at TRUST

Featuring: Shawn Dubin’s The Darques and Other Fine Sundry Items & Harry Boardman’s 365 Monsters Join TRUST and the featured artists for an opening reception on October 29; 6-9pm. Exhibit will be on display Oct. 26-Nov. 2, 2010. Gallery Hours: Tuesday-Saturday 10am-6pm Admission is Free.

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reasons not to vote for pat toomey

By Jeffrey c. Billman

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Additional research by Stephanie Johnson, Joel Mason-Gaines and Juliana Reyes.

In any other

year, it wouldn’t be working. In any other year, Pat Toomey — former derivatives trader, congressman and president of the anti-tax group Club for Growth — wouldn’t be getting away with it. In any other year, his long-standing efforts to privatize Social Security, his radical approach to taxes and spending, his courting of fringe politicians, the millions of dollars he spent purging moderates from the Republican Party, his unabashed corporatism and his voting record — which is, statistically speaking, to the right of the late Jesse Helms — would render him unelectable in a state like Pennsylvania.

Last year, in fact, many Republicans thought that the case. In April 2009, William Parker, founder of the Pennsylvania Club for Growth, begged him to bow out of his challenge to Sen. Arlen Specter: “Pat can’t win the general election,” he wrote in a letter to Republicans. But Toomey pressed on, and not long after Parker wrote that letter, Specter switched parties. Without a serious primary challenge, Toomey was free to reinvent himself: No longer was he a rigid ideologue; instead, he morphed into a “mainstream,” “center-right” businessman who simply wants more jobs and less government. That this rebranding might succeed is a testament to the times in which we live: 2010 is, after all, the year of the Tea Party, of Christine O’Donnell, of Sharron Angle, of Rand Paul. The year in which Glenn Beck’s paranoia can draw tens of thousands to the National Mall, and revanchist politicians speak openly of repealing the sacraments of the New Deal. This is the year in which anxiety over the economy has poisoned our relationship with rationality. In so many words, this year was made for Pat Toomey: In light of his compatriots’ more bizarre tendencies — O’Donnell’s witchcraft-dabbling; Paul’s tenuous approval of the Civil Rights Act; Angle’s “Second Amendment remedies” for legislation she doesn’t like — the

The GOP Senate candidate isn’t as bad as you think. He’s much, much worse. amiable Toomey doesn’t look so crazy. As David Bossie, president of the rightwing Citizens United, told the website The Daily Beast earlier this month, “When Pat Toomey is a guy who’s considered pretty mainstream in that crew [of Tea Party candidates], that’s an amazing statement because he’s a phenomenal conservative leader. When we have this entire conversation and don’t even mention him, that’s unbelievable.” Unbelievable, indeed. But given this current environment, Democrats have been unable to saddle Toomey with the descriptor that truly fits: extremist. But he is. Quantifiably, empirically, definitionally, undeniably so. No matter who you are (assuming you’re not a Wall Street tycoon) or what you believe (assuming you don’t have a “Palin 2012” sign on your front porch), the prospect of a Senator Toomey should frighten you: If you’re concerned with balanced budgets or Social Security; if you believe multinational corporations shouldn’t have carte blanche to do as they please; if you care a whit about the environment or civil liberties; even if you’re a Republican who doesn’t want to see your party co-opted by reactionaries — then Pat Toomey isn’t your guy. Below, you’ll find 66 reasons not to vote for him — though we could have listed many, many more — drawn from Toomey’s voting records, news accounts and press releases of his campaigns and four-year Club for Growth presidency, and his book, 2009’s The Road to Prosperity. When you’re done reading, think about whether this is the kind of person you want representing you in the U.S. Senate. (Spoiler alert: Probably not.)


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In the late 1980s and early ’90s, Toomey helped pioneer and made his fortune on interest rate- and currency-related derivative swaps — essentially, bets on whether interest rates and currencies went up or down. Toomey has claimed that these products were non-risky and completely unlike the mortgage-backed derivatives that wreaked havoc on the global economy. According to Michael Greenberger, a professor at the University of Maryland and former Commodity Futures Trading Commission official: “That’s not true. It just so happens that the 2008 meltdown involved credit default swaps, but interest rate swaps and currency swaps can be as risky as anything else. These swaps are very, very risky.” (Mother Jones, Oct. 5, 2010.)

1

After Toomey was elected to Congress in 1999, Derivatives Strategy, a trade magazine, proclaimed, “Now the derivatives industry can claim representation by one of its own.” Upon his election, Toomey “parlayed his trading experience into a spot on the House banking committee, where he crusaded against regulation of financial markets — especially derivatives.” As a Congressional freshman, Toomey said, “I would like to see us continue to deregulate on many fronts, including the financial services industry.” (Derivatives Strategy, May 1999; Mother Jones, Oct. 5, 2010.)

2

Toomey believes that corporations can be trusted to look out for the public good without government regulation: “[W]hen left alone, markets will allocate resources and facilitate the exchanges needed to elevate the general level of prosperity.” (The Road to Prosperity, p. 12.)

3

According to Toomey, “American corporate income taxes are far too high.” He told CNBC in 2007, “Let’s not tax corporations. I think the solution is to eliminate corporate taxes altogether.” (The Road to Prosperity, p. 58; Lancaster Intelligencer Journal, Sept. 15, 2010.)

4

Toomey defended the executives at bailed-out banks who awarded themselves million-dollar bonuses, arguing in a letter posted on Facebook last year that it was “horrible” to tax these bonuses. The 90 percent tax on these bonuses passed the House 328-93. (Letter by Toomey

5

Earlier this month, Toomey opposed House legislation — which passed 348-79 — to sanction China and other countries that manipulate currencies to gain trade advantages. China’s intentionally devalued currency makes Chinese goods cheaper to buy and contributes to the trade imbalance that, according to the Economic Policy Institute, cost America 2.4 million jobs between 2001 and 2008. The bill’s opponents included Wall Street banks and multinationals with large Chinese productions plants. (Associated Press, Oct. 7, 2010; The New York Times, Sept. 28, 2010; Economic Policy Institute, March 23, 2010.)

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toomey &every­ one elSe

Toomey opposes “excessively high minimum wages.” In 2007, the Club for Growth called the federal minimum wage a “market-distorting price control on labor,” and opposed its increase from $5.15 an hour to $7.25 an hour. In 2000, Toomey voted against raising the minimum wage $1 an hour, to $6.15. (The Road to Prosperity, p. 12; seiu. org, July 15, 2009; Club for Growth 2007 Congressional Scorecard; Americans for Democratic Action 2000 Scorecard.)

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Toomey supports allowing health insurance companies to deny coverage based on pre-existing conditions — or anything else — because regulations “drive up the

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Toomey opposed a bill that would ban housing insurance companies from “redlining,” or denying policies in certain (usually minority) neighborhoods. (Americans for Democratic Action 1999 Scorecard.)

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Toomey opposed legislation that would block credit card companies from raising rates arbitrarily, because, he said, it “is a fundamental infringement on the free market reality.” (House Financial Services Committee Hearing, July 24, 2003.)

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Toomey opposed a law passed this summer that sent $26 billion in emergency aid to states coping with the recession, including $600 million to Pennsylvania. Without that money, Pennsylvania would have had to lay off 12,000 state workers. A Toomey spokeswoman blamed the states’ “spending binge” for their financial troubles. (Philly.com, Aug. 4, 2010.)

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Toomey opposed a bill to make eligible for food stamps recently arrived immigrant children, the disabled, refugees

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In 2007 and 2008, Toomey and Club for Growth vehemently argued against the reauthorization of the State Children’s Health Insurance Program (SCHIP), which guarantees health coverage for low-income children not eligible for Medicaid. In 2008, the Club ran $200,000 in advertising targeting Republican New Mexico Rep. Heather Wilson, who supported SCHIP legislation, because the proposal would “increase government spending by $35 billion, and massively expand government-run health care.” After President George W. Bush twice vetoed the SCHIP expansion, President Barack Obama signed it into law in 2009. The program’s costs are offset by $32 billion in tobacco taxes; the program insures nearly 8 million children. (Club for Growth press release, May 9, 2008; The New York Times, Feb. 4, 2009; CHIP Statistical Enrollment Data System, Feb. 1, 2010.)

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Alhough the rich have gotten richer over the last three decades while others have stagnated, Toomey doesn’t think it’s a problem: “It is true that the differences in income between top earners and the lowest earners have widened in recent decades. But the importance of this statistic has been wildly exaggerated.” (The Road to Prosperity, p. 63.)

8

In 1999, Toomey voted against “Patients’ Bill of Rights” legislation that would require insurance companies to cover emergency care, and allow people and their estates to sue insurance companies that wrongly denied coverage. This legislation passed a GOPcontrolled House 275-151. (Americans for Democratic Action 1999 Scorecard.)

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Toomey supports Steve Forbes’ 17 percent flat tax plan, which would eliminate the progressive tax system and dramatically cut taxes for the wealthiest Americans, as well as eliminate inheritance, capital gains and dividend taxes — again, overwhelmingly benefiting the rich. (The Road to Prosperity, p. 71; The New Yorker, Sept. 6, 2004.)

feature

toomey& Wall Street

cost of [health] insurance.” (The Road to Prosperity, p. 11.)

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posted on Facebook, March 21, 2009; Pennsylvania Democratic Party, Dec. 8, 2009. National Journal Almanac 2009.)


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and legal permanent residents who had lived in the U.S. for five years or had worked here for four years. (Americans for Democratic Action 2002 Scorecard.) Toomey opposed a bill that would extend overtime protections to certain low-income workers, and forbid any government regulations that would strip workers of their overtime rights. (Americans for Democratic Action 2004 Scorecard.)

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In 2003, Toomey, who voted for the war in Iraq, voted against awarding the troops serving there a $1,500 bonus; during this year’s campaign, Toomey said he did so because of other spending in that legislation. He called the bonuses “an excuse to undermine the fiscal stability of this country.” In any event, Toomey has a mere 25 percent rating from the group Disabled American Veterans. (Pa2010.com, June 29, 2010.)

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On MSNBC in April, Toomey agreed with the statement, “It was right for the steel industry in Pennsylvania to go away,” primarily due to outsourcing. “There was a rationalization that had to occur,” he explained. (Morning Joe, MSNBC, April 1, 2010.)

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Toomey&Fiscal ResponsibiliTy Though Toomey now claims to be a deficit hawk, in 2006, when the deficit was hovering around $300 billion a year, he told MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, “I don’t think the deficits are the biggest problem right now.” In 2007, as Club for Growth president, he testified in a House budget hearing against pay-as-you-go (PAYGO) rules that force Congress to offset revenue lost to tax cuts or new spending: “While PAYGO is a well-intentioned rule, its implementation should not come at the cost of preventing economy-stimulating tax cuts.” (Hardball, MSNBC, July 10, 2006; Statement of Pat Toomey to the House Budget Committee, July 25, 2007.)

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Although Toomey’s proposal to allow younger workers to divert their payroll taxes into private accounts would force the government to borrow billions to pay its existing liabilities, Toomey isn’t concerned:

According to the Scranton TimesTribune, “Mr. Toomey said massive new borrowing will be required anyway to keep current benefits the same once the trust fund is exhausted.” The Social Security trust fund will be solvent until 2037 even if no other action is taken. (Scranton Times-Tribune, Oct. 8, 2010; Social Security Administration.) Toomey claims that he stood up to the Bush administration’s spending while in Congress. While Toomey did vote for less spendthrift alternative budgets, he also ultimately supported all of President Bush’s budgets, which took the government’s $236 billion surplus in 2000 and turned it into a deficit of $318 billion by 2005, the year Toomey left Congress. (Associated Press, Sept. 28, 2010; Office of Management of Budget; toomeyforsenate.com.)

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Toomey &TRans­ paRency Toomey has been the beneficiary of third-party groups that, after the Supreme Court’s Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission ruling, can spend unlimited amounts of money on advertising against Democratic opponent Joe Sestak without disclosing where their money comes from. In August, Karl Rove’s Crossroads Grassroots Policies Strategies launched a $531,005 ad campaign against Sestak. In August and September, Toomey’s former group, Club for Growth, purchased nearly $800,000 in anti-Sestak ads. The Chamber of Commerce has also targeted Sestak as part of its $75 million blitz against Democrats nationally. The website ThinkProgress reported earlier this month that the Chamber may be funding this campaign, in part, from foreign sources; the Chamber has denied these claims. (Philly.com, Aug. 25, 2010; Club for Growth press release, Sept. 16, 2010; washingtonexaminer.com, Sept. 22, 2010; philly. com, Oct. 12, 2010; thinkprogress.org, Oct. 5, 2010; politico.com, Oct. 5, 2010.)

Toomey supports the Citizens United decision, which, according to polling, 80 percent of the American public opposes: “I’ve advocated for a long time that the best way to approach campaign finance is to allow unlimited contributions and require immediate disclosure.” (Philly.com, Oct. 14, 2010; blogs.abcnews.com, Feb. 17, 2009.)

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As recently as 2007, however, Toomey wasn’t such an advocate of “immediate disclosure”: After the FEC fined the Club for Growth for violating its prohibitions against organizations known as 527s — which the Club was — endorsing candidates, Toomey reorganized it as a 501(c)4. One advantage of this move, he told members, is that “your donations to the Club will not be disclosed to the public.” (The Wall Street Journal, Dec. 19, 2007.)

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This summer, Toomey opposed the DISCLOSE Act, which would have required groups and corporations financing campaign ads to disclose their funding sources, and banned bailout recipients, foreign corporations and large government contractors from financing independent politi-

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Evan M. Lopez

cal ad campaigns. Toomey opposed the bill because he thought it was too lenient on unions. In fact, the bill would have forced unions to disclose their funding sources, as would nonprofits, advocacy groups, corporations and trade associations. (The Allentown Morning Call, July 28, 2010; opensecrets.org, April 29, 2010; opensecrets.org, Sept. 23, 2010; The Washington Post, June 15, 2010.)

Toomey &RealiTy In 2004, Toomey was “thrilled” by Bush’s proposal to allow private Social Security accounts: “I have been arguing for many years in favor of Social Security personal retirement accounts.” He also praised this idea repeatedly in his book. On the campaign trail, however, Toomey said, “I never said I favor privatizing Social Security.” (Politicspa.com, Aug. 13, 2010; The Road to Prosperity, pp. 140-145; thinkprogress.org, Aug. 24, 2010.)

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Toomey argues that future retirees with private accounts “really don’t have to worry about a fluctuation in the stock market” because, in the long run, they’ll end up in the black. In fact, according to an analysis by the Center for American Progress Action Fund, an individual who retired after 35 years of work in 2008 “would have seen a slight negative return on their

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portfolio.” Moreover, research looking at stock markets in the world’s 15 largest economies indicates that “an all-stock portfolio and typical stock market returns … would have negative returns 33 percent of the time.” (Scranton Times-Tribune, Oct. 8, 2010; Center for American Progress Action Fund, October 2008.) Toomey claims that there is an “inextricable connection between tax cuts and economic growth.” He’s incorrect, particularly when it comes to tax cuts for the richest Americans: The post-recession booms of the mid-1980s and ’90s both followed increases in the top marginal tax rates in 1982 and 1993. Between 1951 and 1980, the economy averaged annual growth of 3.7 percent, though top marginal tax rates were between 70 percent and 92 percent. Between 1980 and 2008, when top rates were between 35 percent and about 39 percent, the economy averaged only 3 percent annual growth. (Statement of Pat Toomey to the House Budget Committee, July 25, 2007; salon.com, Aug. 2, 2010.)

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At a recent campaign event, Toomey was asked about the fact that, after the Bush tax cuts, real income for most Americans dropped. Toomey “[said] he did not believe the data.” According to tax expert David Cay Johnston, “Even if we limit the analysis by starting in 2003, when the dividend and capital gains tax cuts began, through the peak year of 2007, the result is still less income than at the 2000 level. Total income was down $951 billion during those four years. … Average taxpayer income was down $3,512, or 5.7 percent, in 2008 compared with 2000.” (The New York Times, Oct. 10, 2010; tax.com, Sept. 24, 2010.)

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Toomey contends that the New Deal amounted to a “war on job-creating businesses” in which President Roosevelt “imposed countless exorbitant regulations, launched massive new spending programs that deprived the private sector of resources, and foisted his own tax hike on productive Americans.” Between 1933 and 1937, the GDP grew by more than 50 percent. During this same time period, unemployment peaked in 1933 at 24.9 percent, but by 1937 had fallen to 14.3 percent. (After a wave of austerity-driven spending cuts in 1937, the economy shrank and unemployment grew in 1938, back up to 19 percent.) (The Road to Prosperity, p. 36; measuringworth.com/usgdp; cnn.com, Sept. 7, 2010; The New York Times, Nov. 10, 2008; hyperhistory.com.)

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A week before Barack Obama’s election, Toomey blamed him for the collapsing stock market, because Obama “may not only win the presidency but may also gain sufficient Democratic majorities in both houses of Congress to hammer through his radical economic agenda.

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This agenda includes tax increases, protectionism, massive new spending programs, empowered labor unions, and crippling government regulations.” These things, in Toomey’s view, prolonged the Great Depression, and “the stock market has learned a thing or two from history’s mistakes.” As of this writing, the Dow is over 11,100 points; the day Obama was sworn in, it was at 7,949.09. (National Review Online, Oct. 30, 2008; cnn.com, Nov. 4, 2008; Huffington Post, March 26, 2009.) Toomey thinks “we’d have been better off” if the government had let the banking and automobile industries collapse and gone without the stimulus: “Sometimes you need that cleansing to really recover.” The Congressional Budget Office estimates that, in the second quarter of 2010, the stimulus increased the GDP by as much as 4.5 percent and added as many as 4.8 million full-time jobs. Last December, the Troubled Asset Relief Fund’s Congressional Oversight Panel issued its evaluation of the banking bailout: “There is broad consensus that the TARP was an important part of a broader government strategy that stabilized the U.S. financial system ….” (Morning Joe, MSNBC, April 1, 2010; Congressional Budget Office Director’s Blog, Aug. 24, 2010; Congressional Oversight Panel, Dec. 9, 2009.)

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Toomey, a born-again antiearmark crusader, won at least $12 million in pork during his first term in Congress before disavowing earmarks, including $3 million for Air Products & Chemicals Inc., an Allentown company that became his largest source of campaign funds. (The Philadelphia Inquirer, Sept. 8, 2010; The Allentown Morning Call, Sept. 11, 2010.)

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Throughout this year’s campaign, Toomey has highlighted the fact that he owned a small chain of restaurants in the 1990s, in contrast to Sestak, who, as Toomey communications director Nachama Soloveichik has said, “never spent a day in the private sector.” (Sestak served in the U.S. Navy for 31 years.) “I was very actively involved in this business,” Toomey said in a recent debate. In 2004, however, Toomey sang a different tune: After Arlen Specter’s campaign made note of a series of incidents related to Toomey’s restaurants, including a fatal car crash by a patron in 1993, Toomey claimed he had little to do with the restaurants’ day-to-day operations. In fact, in a deposition in 2000, Toomey said that it would be “fair” to call him a “hands-off owner.” (Post-gazette.com,

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Evan M. Lopez

July 6, 2010; blogs.abcnews.com, Oct. 20, 2010; Deposition of Patrick J. Toomey, Michael Serbia v. Rockin’ Robin’s Inc., p. 24, Aug. 22, 2000.) Toomey is an anthropogenic climate-change denier, and an opponent of steps to curb greenhouse gas emissions: “There is much debate in the scientific community as to the precise sources of global warming.” The American Chemistry Society — and every other reputable scientific organization — begs to differ: “Careful and comprehensive scientific assessments have clearly demonstrated that the Earth’s climate system is changing rapidly in response to growing atmospheric burdens of greenhouse gases and absorbing aerosol particles.” It’s perhaps unsurprising, then, that Toomey’s top contributors include oil and gas giants Koch Industries and Murray Energy, which have given him $15,000 and $16,655, respectively. (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, June 14, 2010; American Chemistry Society position statement; Huffington Post, Oct. 14, 2010.)

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tooMeY &tHe enViRon­ Ment In 2001, Toomey voted against both increased fuel-efficiency standards for cars and trucks and incentives for the development of alternative fuel vehicles. In 2003, he voted for the Dick Cheney-designed energy bill, which included more than $14 billion in tax breaks for oil, gas and coal companies. (Ontheissues.org.)

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Toomey is “skeptical” of the expansion of federal oversight of natural gas drilling in the Marcellus Shale; he’s not skeptical of oil and gas drilling, however: He not only supports increased drilling both in the ocean and in sensitive wildlife areas, but also wants to open up Lake Erie to oil and gas drilling. (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, June 14, 2010; yourerie.com.)

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The day after the Deepwater Horizon explosion,

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Halliburton, a company involved in that oil rig, cut Toomey a check for $2,500. He accepted it. (Kdka.com, June 10, 2010.) In August, the League of Conservation Voters named Toomey to its 2010 Dirty Dozen list, citing his “extreme views on energy policy” and his “abysmal” 11 percent lifetime LCV environmental score. (League of Conservation Voters press release, Aug. 23, 2010.)

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TOOMEY&CIVIL LIBERTIES Though he has downplayed social issues during this campaign, Toomey — who has insisted that Club for Growth’s campaigns against moderates were motivated by economics — told a Lancaster Christian group in 2007, “It’s all about protecting our Christian heritage. And, a culture that is under assault.” (Rightwingwatch.org, July 17, 2007; The Providence Journal, Sept. 5, 2006.)

41

Toomey wants to funnel tax dollars to religious schools. Toomey voted in favor of vouchers, including those for parochial schools, while in Congress. (The Road to Prosperity, p. 166; Americans for Democratic Action 2001 Scorecard.)

42

Toomey has a perfect lifetime rating from the Christian Coalition, meaning he always votes the way the Pat Robertson-founded group thinks he should. He also received perfect and near-perfect scores from the rabidly anti-gay Family Research Council — a group co-founded by evangelist James Dobson (see No. 57) and George Rekers, the psychiatrist who recently took a European vacation with a gay prostitute he found on the website rentboy. com — which is, in fundraising letters, warning supporters that the “homosexual left” is waging a “war on your faith and on marriage.” (Ontheissues.org; towerlroad.com, May 5, 2010; Miami New-Times, May 6, 2010; Fundraising letter from the Family Research Council, November 2009.)

43

Toomey voted for a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, and even to ban Washington, D.C., from allowing gays and lesbians to adopt children. (Ontheissues.org.)

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44

Toomey opposes the federal hate crime law that Congress passed last year to more severely punish crimes motivated by bigotry; in 2004, at a press conference with Judge Robert Bork (see No. 61), Bork called hate crimes laws “a discriminatory law enforcement device,” and Toomey agreed. Toomey also voted against hate crimes legislation in Congress. (Citypaper.net, Sept. 13, 2010; Americans for Democratic Action 2000 Scorecard.)

45

Toomey supported a bill that would have prohibited the use of local or federal funds to extend city employees’ health insurance to unmarried domestic partners. (Americans for Democratic Action 2001 Scorecard.)

46

Toomey voted to allow individuals to use their religion to legally justify discrimination in housing, public accommodations and employment. (Americans for Democratic Action 1999 Scorecard.)

47

Toomey opposed even allowing residents of Washington, D.C., to vote on allowing medical marijuana use. (Ontheissues.org.)

48

Toomey, who consistently received low marks from abortion rights groups, wants to not only ban abortion, but also prosecute doctors who perform them: “I think that Roe v. Wade was wrongly defined, wrongly decided and I think states should be free to restrict abortion and I would support legislation in Pennsylvania that would ban abortion and I would suggest that we have penalties for doctors who perform them if we were able to pass that law.” (Crooksandliars.com, Aug. 5, 2009; ontheissues.org.)

49

Toomey voted against allowing an adult sibling, grandparent or spiritual leader from transporting a minor across state lines to avert abortion-related parental consent laws, even in cases in which girls might be subject to physical abuse because of their pregnancy or they were the victims of incest. (Americans for Democratic Action Scorecard 1999.)

50

In 1999, Toomey, who earned an A rating from the National Rifle Association, voted against requiring background checks at large gun shows, and for reducing the waiting period for guns purchased at gun shows from three days to one.

51

Evan M. Lopez

(Americans for Democratic Action 1999 Scorecard; ontheissues.org.)

TOOMEY &REpuB­ LICanS After the GOP lost the Senate in 2006, Sen. John McCain blamed Club for Growth’s quest for ideological purity: “The reason why we don’t have a majority in the Senate today is because of the attacks Club for Growth made on Lincoln Chafee, the senator for Rhode Island. … They have continuously attacked Republicans they don’t agree with.” (Redstate.com, March 19, 2007.)

52

According to Roll Call, after Toomey’s insurgency forced Arlen Specter from the GOP, many of Specter’s colleagues argued that Club for Growth’s tactics “are increasingly corrosive to the party’s overall health and well being.” Said Republican Congressman Steve LaTourette: “They are disgusting.” (Townhall.com, April 30, 2009.)

53

As Toomey stepped down from Club for Growth to run for Senate, David Jenkins, vice president for government and political affairs for Republicans for Environmental Protection, wrote: “While the media often refers to the Club for Growth as a ‘taxpayer advocacy organization,’ its agenda extends far beyond fiscal discipline and lower taxes. … [T]he Club will attack Republicans as [Republicans in name only] for a myriad of supposed ‘offenses,’ including efforts to protect the environment and reduce our nation’s risky dependence on fossil fuels.” (Frumforum.com, April 21, 2009.)

54

After Toomey’s Club for Growth attacked GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee because, as governor of Arkansas, he raised some taxes, Huckabee told The New Yorker, “The Club for Greed, I call them. … I think they’re a despicable political hit organization that takes people’s money and anonymously attacks candidates …. I just think it’s cowardly.” (The New Yorker, Dec. 3, 2007.)

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TOOMEY&­FELLOW TRAVELERS Toomey is a close ally of Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann, whom Club for Growth honored in 2009 with its Defender of Economic Freedom award. This year, Toomey is a member of the “Bachmann 5,” a group of “constitutional conservatives” Bachmann’s PAC is supporting; the others are Sharron Angle, Christine O’Donnell, Rand Paul and Marco Rubio. In recent years, Bachmann has postulated that Obama is seeking “re-education camps for young people,” said that greenhouse gases aren’t dangerous because carbon dioxide is “a natural byproduct of nature” and sought an investigation to determine if members of Congress are “pro-American or anti-American.” A recent hometown editorial lambasted her “rash, ridiculous, unsubstantiated, misleading and fearmongering statements about national issues.” (Michele Bachmann press release, May 16, 2008; Huffington Post, April 6, 2009; scienceblogs.com, April 25, 2009; Huffington Post, Oct. 17, 2008; michelepac.com; St. Cloud Times, Oct. 17, 2010.)

56

In 2004, Toomey proudly touted the endorsement of Focus on the Family founder James Dobson, who spoke at rallies on Toomey’s behalf. Dobson, a fundamentalist anti-gay and anti-abortion rights activist who, in the 1960s, opposed the Civil Rights Act and supported segregationists, believes government should be run according to Christian principles — including, it seems, corporal punishment for pets. In one of his books, Dobson recounts the occasion he beat his family’s 12-pound dog with a belt: “I had seen this defiant mood before, and knew there was only one way to deal with it. The ONLY [sic] way to make Siggie obey is to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else works. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me ‘reason’ with [Siggie]. … That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling and swinging the belt.” (Lancaster Intelligencer Journal, April 11, 2004; Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington complaint against Focus on the Family, Nov. 28, 2005; Southern Poverty Law Center, Spring 2005; Huffington Post, Oct. 12, 2005.)

57

In 2008, Toomey threatened that his Club for Growth “might sit out” the presidential election unless McCain picked an acceptably conservative running mate. Among his suggestions: former Sen. Phil Gramm, who weeks later would dismiss the economic crisis as a “mental recession” and

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call us a “nation of whiners,” billionaire flat-tax enthusiast Steve Forbes and South Carolina Tea Party favorite Sen. Jim DeMint, whom a Charleston Post and Courier columnist has labeled “the mayor of Crazyville.” (The Hotline, June 18, 2008; Huffington Post, July 10, 2008; Char­ leston Post and Courier, Sept. 22, 2010.) In 2008, Toomey also called DeMint “exactly the kind of leader the GOP could use at this low point in its history.” DeMint has a history of staking out radical positions: He famously declared that health care reform would be Obama’s “Waterloo,” and proclaimed that, if Republicans could stop his legislation, “It will break him.” In 2004 and again earlier this month, DeMint has argued that “someone who is openly homosexual” and “an unmarried woman who’s sleeping with her boyfriend … shouldn’t be in a classroom,” as he told a church group. Toomey did not respond to City Paper’s query about whether he agrees with DeMint’s stance on gay and unwed teachers. (Nationalreview.com, Nov. 24, 2008; politico.com, July 17, 2009; Huffington Post, Oct. 2, 2010; citypaper.net, Oct. 5, 2010.)

59

The day McCain selected Sarah Palin as his VP nominee, Toomey gushed that she was a “principled reformer.” In 2007, Toomey called her “a spectacular governor,” and touted her as a potential challenger to then-Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska. Palin’s PAC has given Toomey’s campaign $5,000. Toomey is one of only a handful of Senate candidates she’s financially supporting this year; the others include O’Donnell, Paul and Joe Miller, an Alaskan who believes that Medicare and Social Security are unconstitutional. Despite that support, at a recent debate, Toomey dodged the question of whether he thought Palin was qualified to be president. (Club for Growth press release, Aug. 29, 2008; msnbc.com, Sept. 27, 2007; thehill.com, Oct. 12, 2010; Hardball, MSNBC, Oct. 21, 2010.)

60

In his 2004 Senate bid, Toomey touted the endorsement of Judge Robert Bork, who was denied a seat on the Supreme Court in 1987 because of his far-right positions: In the 1960s, he inveighed against the “unsurpassed ugliness” of civil rights laws forcing property owners to not discriminate (a position he later renounced). Bork has also opposed Court intervention to block Southern states from enacting poll taxes to keep blacks from voting, rulings that created the right to privacy that led to legal contraceptives and abortion and the Court-mandated principle of “one person, one vote.” (Chicago Reader, Aug. 13, 1987; voices.washingtonpost. com, May 21, 2010.)

61

Evan M. Lopez

TOOMEY &­THE FRINGE According to an analysis of Toomey’s DW-Nominate scores in Congress — DW-Nominate scores assess a lawmaker’s liberalism or conservatism — Toomey is further right than 98 percent of all House or Senate members since 1995. Were he to win, he’d be the second-most right-wing senator, after Tom Coburn. His lifetime score, .718 (DW-Nominate scores run between -1 and 1, from liberal to conservative), is considerably more conservative than former Sen. Rick Santorum’s (.349). He’s also to the right of South Carolina Sen. (and Tea Party favorite) Jim DeMint (.670) and Jesse Helms (.692). (Pollster.com, May 11, 2010.)

62

According to Pennsylvania political guru G. Terry Madonna and strategist Michael L. Young: “If [Toomey] is elected, he will arguably be the most conservative U.S. senator Pennsylvania has elected since before the New Deal days.” (Scranton Times­Tribune, Sept. 19, 2010.)

63

In April 2009, William Parker, founder and former president of the Pennsylvania Club for Growth, wrote a letter to Republicans on Specter’s behalf, arguing, “Pat can’t win the general election — here’s why. His lifetime American Conservative Union record of 97 [percent] puts him farther to the right than Rick Santorum’s 88 percent lifetime rating.” (Letter from William Parker, April 21, 2009.)

64

In 2004, Santorum — who famously compared gay sex to “man on child, man on dog” relations — said Toomey is “too conservative for Pennsylvania.” (American Spectator, April 21, 2004; Associated Press, April 23, 2003.)

65

After Specter’s defection, even conservatives believed Toomey too extreme to win: “I don’t think there is anybody in the world who believes he can get elected senator there,” said Sen. Orrin Hatch of Utah. At press time, polls showed the race between Toomey and Sestak too close to call, and indeed, Pennsylvania may yet prove Hatch wrong. To borrow from David Bossie, the leader of Citizens United, that’s “unbelievable.” (Politico.com, April 29, 2009.)

66

(jeffrey.billman@citypaper.net)


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➤ There’s True bloody good effort put into

Halloween’s parties. Lee Jones’ “Fangbanger” with Silk City masquerading as Merlotte’s looks gory, and TJ Kong’s 12-hour, 12-band “Murder Show” at the Ukie is spooky. But the day belongs to Henri David and his eponymous Ball at Sheraton Center City, which is de rigueur and dressed-to-the-nines.“For a minute, peoples’ costumes were getting stale,” says David.“Some even store-bought.”THE HORROR.Yet David noticed last year that new art school students were coming, making the ball a zestfully happy youth-quake.“I judged a costume designing contest at Philadelphia University weeks ago and felt like the pope when I walked through the door. Kids love me. So did the dean, who allowed me and his students to give him a drag makeover.” Oh, Henri. ➤ My news from Power 99’s Powerhouse 2010: 1) Local spinner Diamond Kuts is now pink sensation Nicki Minaj’s new DJ (nice seeing Minaj bring Drake his b-day cake and a kiss at Wells Fargo). 2) Recently ex-P 99 late-night host Golden Girl (Lisa Natson), notorious from her days with Lil’ Kim, is supposedly leaving Philly for L.A. next week to film a (hopefully) syndicated talk show with her husband as co-producer. It’ll be half Jerry Springer, half Wendy Williams, the latter GG once replaced on-air when Wendy returned to NYC’s WBLS-FM. ➤ Mistress of the open mic (National Mechanics, Triumph) Dani Mari does a gig where she doesn’t have to listen to everyone perform first. It’s the release of her passionate debut CD, Impulsive, at Connie’s Ric Rac, Oct. 29. ➤ Stephen Starr’s new project won’t involve vintage chandeliers, wurst or food trucks. Starr and wife January Bartle had a baaaybee, Julian, last week. Congrats, parents. One of Starr’s exes, Rat’s runaway chef Kevin Sbraga, previews his baby (a still unnamed or located restaurant) Dec. 9 at Azalea in the Omni Independence Park. ➤ Philly Latino music mouthpiece El Malito and slamming MC Alien Architect unleash new pareddown ensembles (pretty much solo) at Fire, Oct. 28. ➤ Chef Jim Coleman lost his place at WHYY’s A Chef’s Table, but word hazzit he’s gained a big post as executive chef at World Café Live Philly and the due-soon Wilmington WCL. ➤ At last week’s Philly Film Fest (see citypaper.net/criticalmass, Oct. 22) producer J. Andrew Greenblatt and director Mark Erlbaum celebrated their new Café. Still, Erlbaum was happy to talk about a next collaboration he hopes to lens soon. “It’ll have a desert,” he said when asked if the unnamed script will film locally. Greenblatt, who notes this spring might be cutting it close to start a new film, says the ready-to-go script is more surreal than Café. “As for the desert, it’s like Sharon Pinkenson says, Philly has plenty of soundstages. We can make a desert.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

PUMPKIN POP: Conversations with Enemies, clockwise from top left: Seth ShefflerCollins, Josh Craft, Paul Montgomery, Monika Julien, Jessica McKay and Jen Sperling. neal SantOS

[ rock/pop/braaaaiiiiins ]

Collision Corpse For zombie lovers Conversations with Enemies, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. By John Vettese

T

he first rule of being a zombie-themed indie-pop band: A huge Halloween weekend is a must. Fishtown sextet Conversations with Enemies deliver with a weekend most undead. Friday they headline at Millcreek Tavern in West Philadelphia, performing songs and skits in festive attire. And Sunday they’re part of the massive Murder Show festival at the Ukie Club in Northern Liberties, with a dozen other local groups. But band leaders Josh Craft (vocals/guitar) and Jessica McKay (drums) want to be clear: Their act isn’t seasonal. Nowhere, OK, the band’s narrative album/comic book telling a love story of the damned, came out in August. A regional tour is planned for January. They first emerged in spring of 2009. Conversations with Enemies is a zombie band the whole year ’round. “I like zombie movies,” Craft explains. “We both like horror films, all genres, good ones as well as bad.” McKay offers the relentless Saw series as one of their fixations, before detailing how their movie tastes met with music. “We were messing around in our basement and came up with this really terrible song,” she recalls. It was a three-chord pattern and lyrics to the effect of “I’m a zombie and you look good to eat/ Why don’t you come over and I’ll have myself a treat.”

“It was really bad,” McKay says. But it was also lighthearted and fun to play, Craft says. The duo decided to recruit some friends and see what might happen if they took this zombie idea more, um, seriously. A year and some later, Conversations with Enemies released the completed Nowhere, OK, a 10-track romp echoing the sprawling shout-along pop of collectives like Architecture in Helsinki and Los Campesinos! It just as easily recalls the campy theatrics of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Craft says the latter parallel is no accident. “Both of my parents were in traveling theatrical productions,” he says. “It’s how they met.” In elementary school, Craft even had a bit part in the Broadway revival of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. “I grew up surrounded by theater, it’s something I would eventually like to do,” he says. Nowhere, OK’s tragicomic through-story would certainly lend itself to a lively low-rent production, something akin to what their Philly peers The Extraordinaires did with Ribbons of War in 2005. A cowboy named Billy and his girlfriend, Desiree, look to escape their tumbleweed Old West surroundings, but she’s killed in a shootout. Billy makes a deal with the devil to bring Desiree back, but she returns as a zombie — and will not be made human again until our hero does the dark lord’s bidding. If it seems like Craft took a bunch of B-movie tropes and puréed them in a blender, well, he kind of did. If that’s not your thing, most the songs stand well outside the concept. Sure, the standout “Night

“Both my parents were in traveling theater.”

>>> continued on page 29


the naked city | feature

[ i’m a zombie and you look good to eat ] ➤ live radio

The Philadelphia Photo Arts Center (PPAC) has one simple firstbirthday wish: Take a picture. For its inaugural Philly Photo day, PPAC is asking City of Brotherly Lovers to snap a pic somewhere within city limits, sometime today, Oct. 28. Photos can be submitted to philaphotoarts.org; in November, they’ll be compiled for an exhibit at Crane Arts. Says PPAC founder Sarah Stolfa, you needn’t be a pro to participate: “We don’t care if the pictures come from a cell phone or a high-end digital camera.” So grab that iPhone and get snapping, y’hear?

For those old enough to remember (or young enough to Wiki), Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me! ’s TV forebear, To Tell the Truth, asked celebs questions about which they knew absolutely nothing. NPR’s Wait Wait has taken that vibe across the country, landing live in Philly for the first time tonight. Jersey playwright Peter Sagal hosts the sold-out Kimmel show, with ex-Morning Edition man Carl Kasell as scorekeeper; NPR’s keeping mum on the “Not My Job” contestant, so you’ll have to tune in the old-school way — to WHYY 91 FM, Saturday at 4 p.m. — to find out which Philebrity got duped. —a.d. amorosi

➤ jazz master If there’s one thing dave liebman learned from his early-’70s stint with Miles Davis, it’s an open-mindedness to jazz’s range of possibilities. The 2011 NEA Jazz Master revisits compositions from his long career with a new 18-piece big band, Saturday at Chris’ Jazz Café (Oct. 30, chrisjazzcafe.com). Typical of the saxophonistflautist’s strategic restraint, the ensemble is a beefed-up version of his smaller groups, enhancing the contributions of long-running —Shaun Brady collaborators without overwhelming them.

flickpick

Peter Burwasser on classical

—daniella Wexler

➤ children’s book Want your kid to be the next Jackson Pollock (minus the alcoholism)? Start him early with Katy Friedland and Marla K. Shoemaker’s Art Museum Opposites (Temple, Nov. 2), a perceptual picture book in which “sunny” and “rainy” are variously muddied late-19th-century oil paintings; and a “hard” piece of armor juxtaposes a “soft” Balenciaga hat. Sure, the difference between “realistic” and “abstract” may be too much for your tot to take in, but little van Goghs gotta start somewhere. —Carolyn huckabay

[ movie review ]

Douchebag

There’s not much to Douchebag beyond the internecine sniping.

HAIR, THERE AND EVERYWHERE: Andrew Dickler plays Sam, a smarmy hippie with a moral super­ iority complex, in Drake Doremus’ Douchebag.

➤ Yo-Yo Ma’S performance of the Rachmaninoff

Cello Sonata at the Kimmel Center last week was dreamy. That is to say, it sounded like he was playing it in his sleep. It was only the fine, imaginative work of his piano accompanist, Kathryn Stott, that held the music together. But what do I know? Verizon Hall was packed to the rafters with Ma’s fans, with extra seats overflowing onto the stage. He received a rapturous standing ovation. In these days when we constantly hear about the death of classical music, here was somebody getting it right. Ma has charisma to burn, makes a gorgeous sound on his instrument, and programs music that includes plenty of crowdpleasers. He even managed to slip in a contemporary work. Nobody ran screaming out of the hall. He gets it. He knows he’s in show business. We can only hope that some similar formula will rescue our beloved Philadelphia Orchestra. An awful lot of weight will be resting on the slender shoulders of incoming music director Yannick Nézet-Séguin, but the marketing of the maestro so far seems on the right track, and the buzz for his first appearance with the orchestra since his selection has been palpable. (A big billboard on I-95 shows the musician as exuberant and youthful, setting up the expectation for joyful music-making.) Too bad we have to wait a full season for his tenure to begin in earnest. A few days after the Ma recital, Austrian pianist Till Fellner played the last three piano sonatas of Beethoven for the Philadelphia Chamber Music Society. In a way, this was a very effete program, presented in the kind of aura of hushed seriousness and solemnity that puts classical music in a cocoon. Indeed, the primary appeal of the music is intellectual, on the highest level. And yet in the last pages of the master’s last piano sonata, there was much to admire. He finished the work in a sensuous, velvety whisper. Amid the vigorous acclaim for Fellner’s brilliant playing, an acquaintance turned to me and asked, with the same happy awe one might describe a great fielding play by Chase Utley, if I had ever heard such beautiful, even trills. To me, that’s entertainment. (p_burwasser@citypaper.net)

25

discomfiting road movie at least makes good on its promise. Sam (Andrew Dickler) is a d-bag indeed, a smarmy, self-righteous hippie who only acts like an idealist so he can run down others for not living up to his standards. Steph (Marguerite Moreau), his soon-to-be bride, has bought into the act, as have we, at first. But when Steph grows curious about his estranged brother, his true douchiness starts to emerge. Tom (Ben York Jones) is planning to skip the wedding altogether, claiming he’s too strapped to travel, but Steph innocently hops in her car and picks him up, fostering an unhappy reunion. “I’m not psyched you’re here,” Sam tells him as soon as Steph’s out of earshot. At first blush, Tom seems like the fuck-up of the pair, a single, unemployed artist who’s still sponging off his parents. But as Sam concocts a harebrained (and none-too-credible) scheme to reunite Tom with his long-lost fifth-grade love, it becomes clear that Tom isn’t the only one with thoughts of skipping the wedding. Doremus ably sketches the outlines of long-simmering fraternal strife, and Dickler and Jones fill in their characters where the script leaves them blank. But there’s not much to Douchebag beyond the internecine sniping, and Doremus’ haphazard shooting style adds nothing. The movie observes the brothers from a distance, occasionally pushing them into situations that feel forced no matter how small. It’s a canard of drama that action reveals character, but in Douchebag all it does is kill time. Not much of it, either — the movie runs barely an hour and 10 minutes. That’s all the material requires, but they could have used a lot more material. —Sam Adams

Nobody ran screaming out of the hall. He gets it. He knows he’s in show biz.

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[ B- ] Saddled with the least appealing title this side of Hope Floats, Drake Doremus’

Take a bow

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[ arts & entertainment ]

[ film ]

Believe it or Not Secret Cinema hosts a holy night of mad science from the Moody Institute. By Shaun Brady

F

or nearly 12 minutes, the 1954 film The Electric Eel is indistinguishable from any other educational short of the era. A lab coat-clad, Brylcreemed “scientist” offers basic facts about our friend the eel in a dry but avuncular tone (“Here at the lab, we just call him Joe”). Even the offbeat moment where he has five volunteers hold hands to be shocked by the eel’s charge is typical of the camp humor of the form. It’s not until the film’s closing moments that something seems off, as our heretofore facts-and-figures host suddenly thanks Joe the Eel for “giving us a new understanding of the God who made us all.” This was the M.O. for the Moody Institute of Science, which produced hundreds of classroom films offering an intelligent design slant on science decades before that term came into vogue. An offshoot of the Moody Bible Institute, the MIS typically featured the Rev. Erwin Moon (the “scientist” of Electric Eel), who preached “Sermons from Science” before packed audiences at state and world fairs beginning in the late ’30s. Part evangelist and part snake-oil salesman (if such a distinction can be drawn), Moon was a holy huckster who preached the gospel with a healthy dose of cornball spectacle. As a unique Halloween offering, the Secret Cinema will host a program of Moody Institute of Science shorts, “Secret Science and Bizarre Beliefs,” curated by Stephen Parr of San Francisco-based archival footage company Oddball Film + Video. “The Moody Institute of Science was basically a religious institu-

Erwin Moon

tion with a science bent,” Parr explains. “They made these really way-out crackpot films using surplus military equipment and stock footage to create a ‘God-in-science’ model of the world. It’s campy, it’s hokey, it shows enough science to have a certain level of validity and somehow make it into the classroom, but God’s hand is always somewhere in the picture.” Parr’s program is scheduled to include The Electric Eel, the relativity-themed Mystery of Time, Facts of Faith (in which Moon takes the voltage himself, via Tesla coil), Freedom in Flight (contrasting man’s law with God’s via the downed WWII bomber Lady Be Good) and Blind As a Bat, which explores bats’ “radar” through a series of bizarre experiments. (“Obviously a part of an intelligent plan. But, uh … whose intelligence was involved? The bat’s?”) “They blindfold the bat, they tie its wings,” Parr laughs. “They do all this mammal abuse in the guise of science, but in a really naïve, almost dumb way.” Parr is a filmmaker and collector who got his start in the 1970s,

creating visual backdrops at nightclubs and shooting footage of musicians from The Ramones to John Cage. Oddball has provided footage from its 50,000-film archive for movies like Sean Penn’s Milk and the documentary The Weather Underground, and worked with the likes of Kiss and Iggy Pop. He also hosts a regular screening series from his unique collection in San Francisco. “When most people think of a film,” Parr says, “they think of a feature film, something that has a beginning, a middle and an end. Most people don’t see the other uses of footage: educational films, medical films, home movies, technical films, adult films, blue movies, nudies, burlesque films. And I think those films are like a cement that holds the rest of the culture together. There’s a place for popular films — maybe not in my collection, but in everybody else’s. But these are things that people just don’t ordinarily have an opportunity to look at.” (s_brady@citypaper.net)  Fri., Oct. 29, 8 p.m., $7, Moore College of Art &

Design, 1916 Race St., 215-965-4099, thesecretcinema.com.


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27

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<<< continued from page 24

“A lot of people think ‘Brains’ is about having sex.”

Fri., Oct. 29, 9 p.m., $8, with Eat Your

Birthday Cake and The Josh and Pete Band, Millcreek Tavern, 4200 Chester Ave., 215-222-9194; Murder Show festival, Sun. Oct. 31, 2 p.m., $10-$15, with TJ Kong and the Atomic Bomb, The Ukie Club, 847 N. Franklin St., 215-6278790, tjkonghalloween.eventbrite.com.

get a life ... citypaper.net/djnights

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the stage antics became less skit-based. But restraint naturally goes out the window when Halloween rolls around. For this weekend’s shows, the band is asking folks who picked up their album to bring along its companion comic book. They’ll be able to follow along with the stylized illustrations by local artists Kit Layfield, Kristyn Fayewicz, Jessica Lowe and Eric Remer. Meanwhile the six people on stage will be belting the story out in full spectacle mode. “I guess it doesn’t bother me being known as a zombie band,” McKay shrugs. “But we want to be taken seriously also.” (j_vettese@citypaper.net)

hopworldtrancer&bhouse electrobreakstechnop unksould&bindierockelec troreggaegoth/industrial hiphopworldtrancer&b houserockelectrobreak stechnopunksould&bindie rockelectroreggaegoth/industrialhiphoprockworld trancer&bhouseelectro breakstechnopunksould& bindierockelectroreggae kgoth/industriald&bhip reggaegoth/industrialhip hopworldtrancer&bhouse electrobreakstechnop unksould&bindierockelec troreggaegoth/industrial hiphopworldtrancer&b hopworldtrancer&bhouse electrobreakstechnop unksould&bindierockelec troreggaegoth/industrial hiphopworldtrancer&b houserockelectrobreak stechnopunksould&bindie rockelectroreggaegoth/industrialhiphoprockworld trancer&bhouseelectro breakstechnopunksould& bindierockelectroreggae kgoth/industriald&bhip reggaegoth/industrialhip hopworldtrancer&bhouse electrobreakstechnop unksould&bindierockelec troreggaegoth/industrial hiphopworldtrancer&b hopworldtrancer&bhouse electrobreakstechnop unksould&bindierockelec troreggaegoth/industrial hiphopworldtrancer&b houserockelectrobreak stechnopunksould&bindie rockelectroreggaegoth/industrialhiphoprockworld trancer&bhouseelectro breakstechnopunksould& bindierockelectroreggae kgoth/industriald&bhip reggaegoth/industrialhip hopworldtrancer&bhouse electrobreakstechnop unksould&bindierockelec troreggaegoth/industrial

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of the Living Dead” is indisputably horror pop, but it’s a blast to dance to. There’s not much question what album closer “Reanimated” is about, but its arrangements and melody are killer. And were it not included in this song cycle, the mariachi-rocker “Road to Nowhere” could be a song about any couple, living or undead, looking to escape their busted one-horse town. “You can interpret the songs in different ways,” Craft says. “A lot of people think ‘Brains’ is about having sex. You listen to the lyrics about feeding off of each other … ” “ … but you don’t enjoy the taste,” chimes in McKay. “Exactly,” continues Craft. “If the song wasn’t called ‘Brains,’ people might think it was about something else.” Retaining some degree of ambiguity (however minimal) lets Conversations with Enemies stretch its zombie act into the off-season. “When we first started, we were like, we’re a zombie band, we’re dressing up for all our shows,” McKay says. “And then a couple people said to us, you’re not a gimmick, you guys are good enough that you don’t need to be doing this.” So the costumes gave way to casual clothes and

[ arts & entertainment ]

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 Collision Corpse

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Films are graded by City PaPer critics a-F.

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The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest

 new 4192: The Crowning of The hiT King

DouChebag|BRead Sam Adams’ review on p. 25. (Ritz at the Bourse)

The girl who KiCKeD The horneT’s nesT|Cthe millennium trilogy finale begins with a recap. Lisbeth (noomi rapace) is headed to the hospital, as is Zalachenko (Georgi Staykov), the ultra-evil father she tried to kill with an ax. the surgery to remove a bullet from her skull is rendered with Saw-like detail, and from then on, she seems a little comatose, then watching others more or less decide her fate. the series winds up in a courtroom (where it began), with Lisbeth seething at the defense table, wearing a fierce mohawk while the very, very bad psychiatrist teleborian (Anders Ahlbom rosendahl) insists anything she says is delusional. Luckily, the tech-savvy victim-cum-avenger produces a DvD of the abuse she’s described, which, along with blurrily disturbing flashbacks to her abuse as a 12-year-old, indicates that teleborian and his buddies deserve every bit of punishment so inevitably coming their way. As much as the series has railed against these powerful villains for producing the damaged, angry girl who will be their undoing, it has also repeatedly sensationalized their multiple abuses of her. the strategy has been increasingly exploitative and tedious. Who knows? maybe the series is producing more angry girls as they endure it. —Cindy Fuchs (Ritz Five)

reflecting on the fate of his native Iceland, whose economy was ravaged when banks collapsed in 2008, filmmaker Andri magnason introduces an essential concern of Inside Job: “nothing comes without consequence.” but which consequences affect whom? In posing this question, charles Ferguson’s new documentary provides a remarkably coherent, bracing and frequently galling analysis of the recent world financial crisis, one that focuses on the (current) lack of consequences for those who caused it. It brings to this complicated, often confounding saga the same sort of intellectual and moral rigor that the director’s No End in Sight brought to the bush administration’s management of the Iraq war. As interviewees respond to Ferguson’s off-screen queries, the drama comes in watching subjects think through their answers, using their expertise to explain or obfuscate — sometimes both at once. tracing the intertwined histories of deregulation, credit default swaps, subprime mortgages and ideological Kool-aid drinking from the reagan era through today, the film includes some speakers (like eliot Spitzer and Gillian tett) looking shrewd and thoughtful, while others plainly spin themselves into deep holes. the spinning can be entertaining (if disconcerting), as when Financial Services roundtable lobbyist Scott talbott suggests he sees no problem with his clients buying off lawmakers. but even if a cumbersome financial system rewards bad behavior, the film insists on the culpability of individuals, whether they were ignorant or even true believers, or willfully deceptive. that they are not suffering consequences is a problem Ferguson refuses to let alone. Inside Job argues for accountability, beyond the word’s use during the current midterm elections. As it allows the culprits to perform themselves, and so to look contemptible and small, it holds out hope that exposure — ongoing and aggressive — might make a difference. —C.F. (Ritz Five)

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A haiku: Pete edward rose hit 3,000 singles — call this Punch and Judy porn. (Not reviewed) (Ritz at the Bourse)

insiDe Job|A

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does allow of the other side are brief flashes of figures silhouetted against a white light. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Shaun Brady (Ritz Five, UA 69th St., UA Grant)

itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kinD of a funny story|D+ saw 3D

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EXPERIENCE THE EXTRAORDINARY JOURNEY OF ONE WOMANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S 18-YEAR STRUGGLE TO SET HER BROTHER FREE

A haiku: Finally the Saw franchise is over, so stop torturing yourself. (Not reviewed) (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Main St., UA Riverview)

 Continuing ConviCtion|B Sure, betty Anne Waters (Hilary Swank), single mother of two who got her GeD and put herself through law school to exonerate her wrongly incarcerated brother Kenny (Sam rockwell), is yet another plucky heroine for the two-time Academy Award-winner Swank to sink her big teeth into. And itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy to dismiss this true story as maudlin, but under the sure hand of actor-turned-director tony Goldwyn, Conviction actually overcomes its disadvantages. Goldwyn makes the bond between these siblings palpable, coaxing stirring performances from Swank and, especially, rockwell. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Gary M. Kramer (Ritz East)

Hereafter|C+ Written by Peter morgan with a soggy sobriety in place of his usual glib acidity, clint eastwoodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hereafter interweaves three stories of lives touched by an intimacy with death. the strands inevitably meet up, under circumstances so lazily contrived that the climactic sequence feels like off-brand Iùårritu. Hereafter posits a definite afterlife, but a decidedly agnostic one, and the glimpses eastwood

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Anna boden and ryan Fleckâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s feeble attempt at following in the footsteps of Juno and (500) Days of Summer is a catastrophic botch. the tragedy is that thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a decent movie hidden among the jokey cutaways, one in which a suicidal teen (Keir Gilchrist) checks himself in to the hospital for observation and finds heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s less crazy than heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to think. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Sam Adams (Ritz at the Bourse)

JaCkass 3D|BJohnny Knoxville and his band of dumb-ass daredevils have cooked up another round of numbskullery thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s at turns inventive (cavorting in the engine exhaust of a parked fighter plane) and disgusting (Sweatsuit cocktail). but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something missing in the post-coital banter â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the o-face reaction shots, such a touchstone of the seriesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; appeal, seem lackluster, and even Knoxville has a touch of weariness in his face. Which isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t to say that Jackass 3D isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worth your time, or that it is. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more that it feels like a swan song. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Brian Howard (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

ParanormaL aCtivity 2|Cconnected, in a lazy sort of way, to oren Peliâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s low-budget/high-profit cult smash, Paranormal Activity 2 tries to capture the roughshod appeal of its source material, but canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but come off comparatively dull. Shifting the first-person home-vid paranoia from original haunted couple Katie and micah to the family home of Ka-

[ movie shorts ]

 aLso PLaying Devil UA Riverview legenD of the guarDian UA Riverview life as We KnoW it UA 69th, UA Grant, UA Riverview My soul to taKe 3D Pearl n-secure Pearl, UA 69th, UA Riverview stone Ritz at the Bourse taKers Pearl Wall street UA Riverview For showtimes, visit citypaper.net/movies.

tieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sister, this Paranormal employs many of the same tricks as the 2009 hit, which makes for plenty of bland jump scares. but a demon-bait newborn child and a glib teenage daughter are inadequate replacements for the trembling verity that powered the original. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Drew Lazor (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

reD|AWhen old Joe (morgan Freeman), an ex-cIA desk-jobber, smiles and says

invites you to an advance screening on Tuesday, November 2 at a Philadelphia area theater To enter for a chance to win two tickets text ROADTRIP with your ZIP CODE to 43549 (Example: ROADTRIP 19103)

No purchase necessary. Deadline for entries is Friday, October 29, 2010 at NOON ET. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. Arrive early. Tickets received through this promotion do not guarantee admission. Texting services provided by 43KIX/43549 are free. Standard text message rates from your wireless provider may apply. Check your plan. One entry per cell phone number. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be considered. Winners will be notified electronically. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. No one will be admitted without a ticket or after the screening begins. This film is rated R for language, drug use and sexual content. Must be 17 years or older to enter contest and attend screening. Anti-piracy security will be in place at this screening. By attending, you agree to comply with all security requirements. All federal, state, and local regulations apply. Warner Bros. Pictures, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred, or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible for lost, delayed, or misdirected entries, phone failures, or tampering. Void where prohibited by law.

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IN THEATERS NOVEMBER 5


Davis Guggenheim offers an impassioned argument against the neglect of the U.S. education system in his latest film, and while it inevitably recycles W’s famous “childrens do learn” gaffe, Waiting for “Superman” is hardly partisan. He not only lodges complaints about the status quo, but actually offers a number of solutions. —S.B. (Ritz East)

You will meet a tall Dark StraNger|B

Allen sex farce. Allen’s lost his former snap, but the movie’s uncharacteristically long takes add a degree of intimacy and excitement that he rarely musters nowadays. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

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A haiku: they used to whip me to make me run. So I ran. now I’m ghost horse glue. (Not reviewed) (UA Riverview)

waitiNg for “SupermaN”|B+

[ movie shorts ]

a&e

Secretariat

behind his team’s heists. He keeps the momentum taut, but the story lacks the depth of his directorial debut. —S.B. (UA Grant, UA Riverview)

the naked city | feature

“we’re getting the band back together,” that’s a good time to take stock of your team. besides himself there’s elegant assassin victoria (Helen mirren), LSD-ravaged nutball assassin marvin (John malkovich) and relative youngster Frank moses (bruce Willis); all are retired, extremely Dangerous black ops with no signs of bone loss or back problems; and all are armed to the teeth. RED is as much a comedy as it is a smart shoot-’em-up, with quips sometimes spraying as wildly as the bullets. Give some props to the kids — mary-Louise Parker and Karl Urban — but this one’s a salute to the old-heads. —Patrick Rapa (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

More on:

citypaper.net  CheCk out

two married couples, destabilized by their inability to live in the present, quickly become four in this Woody

r e p e r t o r y f i l m l i s t i n g s at C i t y pa p e r . n e t / r e p f i l m .

the Social Network|AThe Social Network watches the growth of Facebook from the inside, but ends up being less about one specific phenomenon than the minor tremors that ripple outward into world-altering quakes. mark Zuckerberg (Jesse eisenberg) envisions Facebook as replicating “the entire social experience of college” online, and The Social Network posits that the Digital Age has become Revenge of the Nerds, writ large. —S.B. (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Riverview)

“Surprisingly hilarious! Terrific lead performances.”

the towN|B

“As just about anyone in this engaging movie might say, it’s awesome!”

Owen Gleiberman, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

NEW YORK MAGAZINE

“Smart, surprising and funny!” Leonard Maltin, MALTIN ON MOVIES, REELZCHANNEL

“Surprisingly sophisticated!” Joe Neumaier, NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

Ella Taylor, NPR

www.DOUCHEBAGMOVIE.com

Exclusive Engagement Starts Friday, October 29

LANDMARK THEATRES

RITZ AT THE BOURSE Center City 215-925-7900

SEE IT IN SELECT THEATRES THURSDAY, OCTOBER 28! EVERYWHERE FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29!

ARE YOU READY FOR ALL THE MEGA FUN? invites you to enter for a chance to win a family four-pack of tickets to an advance screening. Log on to www.gofobo.com/RSVP and enter RSVP code CITY6RS8 to download four "admit-one" tickets. While supplies last. No purchase necessary. Limit four tickets per person while supplies last. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. Arrive early. Tickets received through this promotion do not guarantee admission. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. This film is rated PG. Anti-piracy security will be in place at this screening. By attending, you agree to comply with all security requirements. All federal, state, and local regulations apply. A recipient of ticket assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Paramount Pictures, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred, or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible for lost, delayed, or misdirected entries, computer failures, or tampering.

P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r | o c t o b e r 2 8 - n o v e m b e r 4 , 2 0 1 0 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t |

ben Affleck hands himself the thankless challenge of finding life in another criminal with a heart of gold, agreeing to one last job before turning his life around. Affleck plays a second-generation thief, the sensitive mastermind

a film by Drake Doremus

“Sharp, fresh and winning!”

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a&e | feature | the naked city

agenda

the

liSTingS@ciTYpApeR.neT | OCt. 28 - nOv. 4

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the agenda

[ The holy racket of the newly radicalized ]

TUBTHUMPER: Sharon Van Etten plays World Café Live Monday. KrIStIAnnA SMIth

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.

34 | P h I L A D E L P h I A C I t Y PA P E r |

o C T o B E R 2 8 - n o v E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 0 | C I t Y PA P E r . n E t

IF YOU WAnt tO BE LIStED:

Submit information by mail (City Paper Listings, 123 Chestnut St., Third Floor, Philadelphia, PA 19106) or e-mail (listings@ citypaper.net) to Josh Middleton. Details of the event — date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price — should be included. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

THURSDAY

10.28 [ rock/pop ]

Corin TuCker If Heavens to Betsy was the holy racket of newly radicalized college students, and Sleater-Kinney the articulated rage of socially conscious twentysomethings confronted

with the injustice of the world outside their scene, the Corin Tucker Band is the tensionfilled long-distance call to a husband who’s away on a business trip for the millionth time. Like most 37-year-old moms, Tucker’s been focusing on family and work, and music’s been on the back burner. But most 37-year-old moms don’t have that iconic vibrato, and with 1,000 Years (Kill Rock Stars), Tucker puts it to good use. The recession rocker “Thrift Store Coats” shows she’s kept an eye on the world, but more personal tracks, like “Doubt” and “Handed Love,” prove she hasn’t lost her fire or her spark. —M.J. Fine Thu., Oct. 28, 8 p.m., $13, with The Hungry Ghost, First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 877-4359849, r5productions.com.

[ dance ]

koresh DanCe Co. In the last few years, Roni Ko-

resh has scored several sizable awards for his namesake dance troupe, including an $81,650 grant from Dance Advance and a nearly $400,000 three-year grant from the William Penn Foundation. So the guy should be über-happy, right? Well, glee ain’t his thing. At least not when it comes to his work, where Roni prefers ruminative reflection. Sure, his pieces include high-energy dance and even humor. But in the end, as evidenced by his two world premières on for this weekend, Somewhere in Between and Benchtime Stories, the guy’s a born brooder.

leader date in more than a decade, there’s hardly any threat of rust on his bass strings. The quartet-mates he’s assembled — saxophonist Tim Berne, pianist Craig Taborn and drummer Gerald Cleaver — have played together extensively in a variety of configurations. While most of those have been under Berne’s leadership, Formanek’s compositions are more structured, less knotty and aggressive than the altoist’s famously dense, sprawling work. Hence the quartet is the best of both worlds — a fresh approach taken by musicians utterly at ease with one another.

Greg (Kurt Zischke) treats his midlife crisis not with fast cars or fast blondes, but by adopting a pooch, Sylvia (Maggie Lakis), despite Shakespeare-quoting wife Kate’s (Hollis McCarthy) objections. Sylvia converses in English but, in Lakis’ dynamic performance, is all canine: wild, instinctive, manipulative, hungry and always, always adorable. You’ll want to live on Adam Riggar’s stylish apartment set with all its anti-dog white furniture, and professional play-stealer Dave Jadico — in three roles — puts the icing on this inter-species lovestory cake.

whole lives, but they’ve really hit their stride with Two (Lake Bottom), their second album and first as a duo. (Stepsister Jessica Craven contributes vocals on the disc, but she’s scaled back her involvement since having a baby). Dark, spare songs like “Digging a Hole” and “Birds in My Garden” are hypnotic in their simplicity; the piano-driven “Boo Hoo” wraps you in its warm cocoon. Chiming guitars and ambling banjos augment the sisters’ yearning harmonies; absent lovers and empty hearts fill their lyrics. You don’t want to miss them now.

—Deni Kasrel

—Shaun Brady

—Mark Cofta

—M.J. Fine

Oct. 28-31, $20-$40, Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St., 215-9850420, koreshdance.org.

Thu., Oct. 28, 8 p.m., $12, Philadelphia Art Alliance, 251 S. 18th St., arsnovaworkshop.com.

[ jazz ]

[ theater ]

MiChael ForManek QuarTeT

sylvia

Though his new CD, The Rub and Spare Change (EMC), is Michael Formanek’s first

Delaware Theatre Co. lets the dogs out with its smart revival of Sylvia, A.R. Gurney’s popular 1995 comedy. Manhattanite

Through Nov. 7, $35-$49, Delaware Theatre Co., 200 Water St., Wilmington, Del., 302-584-1100, delawaretheatre.org.

Thu., Oct. 28, 8:30 p.m., $10, with Rebecca Loebe, Raina Rose and NEeMA, Tin Angel, 20 S. Second St., 215-928-0978, tinangel.com.

[ folk/pop ]

[ dance ]

The Chapin sisTers

Fly: Five FirsT laDies oF DanCe

Abigail and Lily Chapin have been singing together their

Bebe Miller, Jawole Willa Jo Zollar, Germaine Acogny,


[ the agenda ]

the naked city | feature | a&e

Dianne McIntyre, Carmen de Lavallade â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the opportunity to see just one of them perform is reason for excitement,

Center, 230 Vine St., 215-925-9914, fly. atthebride.com.

FRIDAY

Discussion Thu., Oct. 28, 7 p.m., $10; performances Fri.-Sat., Oct. 29-30, 8 p.m. $25 (sold out); Painted Bride Art

[ worldbeat/pop/funk ]

with Suzanne Woods November 13th

RUBBLEBUCKET

Craft Beer Express

This eight-(or so)-member Brooklyn/Boston/Burlington troupe of boundary-defiers present some pretty substantial classification issues. They operate equally well as a full-service, full-throttle Afrobeat/worldfunk orchestra (horns blaring, polyrhythms percolating) and (especially when Kalmia Traverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clarion, brassy vocal stylings are in full force) as a slicker, jazzy lounge-pop outfit. The latter side is foregrounded on their candy-sweet new EP, Triangular Daisies, which plays like a more metrically convo-

food | classifieds

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Deni Kasrel

November 1st

Sly Fox Beer Dinner

the agenda

but catching all in the same show? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cause for serious celebration. Each dancer/choreographer blazed her own trail, creating work rooted in African and African-American culture that is both personal and universal. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let their ages, which range from fiftysomething through seventysomething, fool you â&#x20AC;&#x201D; these artists continue to command the stage. The weekend shows are sold out, but you can catch the quintet in a revealing conversation tonight, led by dance critic Brenda Dixon-Gottschild.

10.29

Specializing in all things German; food, service, music and, of course, beer.

11am â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9pm

November 18th

Aecht Schlenkerla Beer Dinner with Matthias Trum â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Head Brewer

Join us every Thursday for Flight Night Check website for details 718 South Street . 267-909-8814 www.brauhausschmitz.com Voted â&#x20AC;&#x153;Best New Barâ&#x20AC;? by Philly Beer Scene Magazine

  

Join us for

NFL Sundays

Specials include our gourmet hot dog menu, the return of the scrapple cheesesteak â&#x20AC;&#x153;Buddy Styleâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;˘ $3 Sly Fox cans, Ithaca Apricot Wheat and one rotating craft draft special. $15 pitchers of margaritas. $4.50 Bloody Marys

November 13th

The Craft Beer Express featuring flights of barley wines and the Don Evans Blues Band November 12th

Adamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Birthday Lunch November 15th

2nd Annual 10 Yards w/ Tom Kehoe 10 very special offerings from Yards Brewery

          

   



              

           



Eagles vs. Donovan

Every Monday Night

Darts with Joe Gunn Happy Hour 5-7pm

$15 pitchers of margaritas â&#x20AC;˘ $3 Sly Fox cans â&#x20AC;˘ $2 Crapland bottles For Holiday Party info email casey@josepistolas.com

                     

35

215.545.4101 â&#x20AC;˘ 263 S. 15th Street www.josepistolas.com

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B E E R B A R TA Q U E R I A


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C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / M O V I E S

luted cousin to the bird and the bee’s sticky retro-pop. throw in some swampy, n’awlins-style organ, some decidedly arty psych-rock song structures, and a sublime tidbit of West African n’goni (gourd lute), and it’s clear the answer is to stop worrying about categories and just enjoy the party.

Sat., Oct. 30, 9 a.m.-8 p.m. and Sun., Oct. 31, 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m., $5-$25, 23rd St. Armory, 22 S. 23rd St., and First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 215-329-4744, phillybikeexpo.com.

classifieds | food

Fri., Oct. 29, 9 p.m., $9-$15, with Illinois, Blockley Pourhouse, 3801 Chestnut St., 215-222-1234, theblockley.com.

saturDaY

10.30

bike rides, bmX demos, a steel steed fashion show, bike sales, yoga for cyclists, a seminar on the country’s bike boom and a whole lot more. oh, would you look at that? We just psychically doored Stu bykofsky. —holly Otterbein

—K. ross hoffman

be on hand, ready to send you home with a crotch-sniffer of your very own. —laura Weber Sat., Oct. 30, 11 a.m., $25, FDR Park, 1900 Pattison Ave., 215-298-9680, pawsmuttstrut.org.

sunDaY

10.31 [ bass/electronic ]

[ dog walk/adoption fest ]

[ festival ]

Mutt Strut

Philly Bike exPo

the Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society (PAWS), the area’s only no-kill animal shelter, is throwing its fourth annual mutt Strut to raise funds for operational costs in Grays Ferry. besides prancing in the 1.5-mile walk through FDr Park, you and your pooch can

Like a craiglist Huffy whose parts you wholly replace, this past year started off as shabby for bikers, but got better. Winter may have stuck us with councilman Frank Dicicco’s reactionary anti-fixie legislation, but as the year went on, we pedaled through the bigger, nuder Philly naked bike ride, welcomed pedicabs to the city for the first time, and cut the ribbon for neighborhood bike Works’ new South Philly locale. Add to that list the Philadelphia bike exposition, two days of costumed

o c t o b e r 2 8 - n o v e m b e r 4 , 2 0 1 0 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

36 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

revel in pet-friendly festival activities like a photo booth, doggy obstacle course and costume contest. If you come unleashed, animal shelters will

l-ViS 1990 Apart from his own patently absurd moniker, James connolly doesn’t fuss too much about nomenclature. though his production/remix tentacles have found their way to acts from pretty much any corner of the U.K.’s multifarious electronic/ dance world you’d care to mention — dubstep, funky, wonky, grime, fidget-house, electro-pop, even garage/two-step semilegend mJ cole — the fliers for night Slugs, the London club night he co-operates with producer bok bok, promise simply “House/bass.” An earlier party he ran was named So Loud,

[ the agenda ]

which kind of says it all. —K. ross hoffman Sun., Oct. 31, 9 p.m., with Flufftronix and Buddy Leezle, The M Room, 15 W. Girard Ave., 215-739-5577, flufftronix.com.

[ walks/tours ]

JewiSh iMMigrant tour Stroll through just about any part of center city and you’ll be soaking in a wealth of history — whether you know it or not. Let the Preservation Alliance tell you what’s what: each tour, usually focusing on a particular neighborhood, examines a specific part of Philly’s past. this weekend’s Jewish Immigrant tour traces the path of eastern european newcomers when they arrived in Philadelphia in the late 19th century. beginning at the Society Hill Synagogue, the tour will make its way to South Street, winding through what was once home to a thriving Jewish community. —eric Schuman Sun., Oct. 31, 2 p.m., $10, Society Hill Synagogue, 418 Spruce St., 215-5461146, preservationalliance.com.

monDaY

11.01 [ multimedia ]

Sound and ViSion

JUKEBOX THE GHOST WXPN’S ARTIST TO WATCH

“There are at least three certainties in life: death, taxes, and Jukebox The Ghost winning your heart.” – PASTE www.yeproc.com | www.jukeboxtheghost.com

New Album “Everything Under The Sun” Available Now on Yep Roc Records

When we sift through blackand-whites of Grandma and Pop-Pop, we’re not looking for our ancestors so much as ourselves, in their hook noses and freckled dimples and pierogi bellies. Same goes for temple’s Urban Archives, a collection of 300 manuscripts, 5 million prints and negatives, and tv clips all about our shared relative: Philadelphia. You should Facebook the Urban Archives ASAP; after you’re hooked, fill up at “Sound and vision,” an I-House screening of the temple affiliate’s unaired broadcasts, local documentaries and photographs of the city — providing an eye into everything from the original electric Factory to bowie prancing about the


—Holly Otterbein Mon., Nov. 1, 7-9 p.m., free, Ibrahim Theater, International House, 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org.

[ rock/pop/folk ]

—M.J. Fine Mon., Nov. 1, 8 p.m., $17-$28, with Junip, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

[ classical ]

SCOTTISH CHAMBER ORCHESTRA Polish pianist Piotr Andersze-

—John Vettese Mon., Nov. 1, 8 p.m., $20, with David E. Williams, The M Room, 15 W. Girard Ave., 215-739-5577, themanhattanroom.com.

—Peter Burwasser Mon., Nov. 1, 8 p.m., $23, Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St., 215-569-8080, pcmsconcerts.org.

[ rock/pop ]

THE LEGENDARY PINK DOTS When the band formed some 30 years ago, the “Legendary” preceding “Pink Dots” might have seemed like cheeky sarcasm or foolhardy hubris. Today, it’s apt. Their moods and means have shifted across a prolific discography, but the Dots’ core duo of singer Edward Ka-Spel and keyboardist Phil Knight remain committed to bending your mind by way of music in a way that few can match. Early works pulled from the likes of Pearls Before Swine and Neu!; their current Seconds Late for the Brighton Line (Roir Records) has an otherworldly pulse not unlike Scott Walker’s last couple

WEDNESDAY

11.03 [ arabic ]

OMAR SOULEYMAN A bona-fide Syrian superstar, 41-year-old former construction worker Omar Souleyman plays some of the most astonishingly visceral party music out there,

[ the agenda ]

and Kurdish folk, but primarily dabke, a pan-Arabian line dance typically heard at weddings — combined with breakneck electronic beats. Prodigious sidemen, meanwhile, furnish frantic, shrilly buzzing keyboard and oud solos in furious, microtonal bursts around his melismatic wailing. Thanks to Seattle’s ethnographic Sublime Frequencies label, who’ve culled from Souleyman’s hundreds upon hundreds of cassette releases for a series of domestic compilations — most recently this year’s Jazeera Nights — he’s attracted a growing international audience, and this first-ever U.S. tour should be an occasion for some seriously next-level world partying.

GREAT FOOD AND BEER AT SURPRISING PRICES HAPPY HOUR 5-7 Seven Days a Week. ½ OFF ALL DRAFTS! Kitchen open till 1am every night. Open 5pm-2am 7days a week. Corner of 10th and Watkins . 1712 South 10th 215-339-0175 . Facebook.com/watkinsdrinkery

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in y M o To an ur b uc y P es h, ri t " G ze co ift s! st  0= um H Ce e! 6A rti  40 fic  C at 14 ?A es  8

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—K. Ross Hoffman Wed., Nov. 3, 8 p.m., $20, with Electric Simcha, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 877-435-9849, johnnybrendas.com.

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citypaper.net

food | classifieds

She may call Brooklyn home, but singer-songwriter Sharon Van Etten’s got a soft spot for Philly. Here was where she recorded her full-length debut, Because I Was in Love, with Greg Weeks, and where she recorded her latest release, the seven-song Epic (Ba Da Bing! Records), with Brian McTear. But while Van Etten fits snuggly within the context those collaborators suggest — think rich sonic textures and bittersweet relationship songs — her husky soprano and reserved demeanor are timeless enough to have bewitched a folk-club crowd a generation ago or to win over resigned romantics yet to be. Lucky us that she’s playing here and now.

of records. And Ka-Spel, in particular, has the most distinctive voice in the avant/darkwave underground, hands down. Stretch your weekly allowance, since this rare appearance by cosmic rock legends — yep, that’s what they’re called — will be worth every penny.

the agenda

SHARON VAN ETTEN

wski is something of a throwback, with his lush, pearly tone and expansive interpretations of Chopin and Bach. But he can also muster the discipline to deliver buoyant and colorful Mozart, as will be demonstrated in his appearance with the excellent Scottish Chamber Orchestra in not one, but two Mozart piano concertos, including the sublime No. 27, Mozart’s last. The Scots will also play Beethoven and Mendelssohn.

the naked city | feature | a&e

Vet. Hey, maybe you’ll scout an ancestor or two in the crowd.

ier scar even with DJ Bob

Soco

Lime - $4 sho

ts

a magpie fusion of regional styles — Iraqi choubi, Turkish

FOR COMPREHENSIVE EVENT LISTINGS, VISIT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / L I S T I N G S .

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wiTh DJ Def Janiels anD hulk hoagie weD 11/03

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Corner of frankford & Girard. fishtown. www.johnnybrendas.Com

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upcoming: 11.5 lanD of Talk 11.6 giRls Rock philly’s cD Release paRTy! 11.8 Roky eRickson (solD ouT) 11.9 BonoBo

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Thu 10/28 R5 pResenTs


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Open everyday 5p-2a Kitchen Open All Night Happy Hour Everyday 5p-7p

~MONDAY~ WING NIGHT... $0.35 Wings $2 Yuenglings ALL DAY! $3 Smithwicks and $2 Wells

THURSDAY

Wired 96.5 on the Main Floor House Music on The Roof Thursday Birthday - bottle of champagne and cake on the house!

FRiDAY

Hip Hop on the Main Floor House Music on The Roof

~TUESDAY~ $5 Burgers $3 Victory Pints ALL DAY! $2 Well Drinks 9-11pm, $5 Layered Pints 9pm-11pm Manayunk’s Best Pub Quiz Starts @ 10pm

House Music on the Main Floor Hip Hop on The Roof

SUNDAY

DJ DEEJAY COSTUME PARTY!

TUESDAY

~FRIDAY~ $3 Coors Lights ALL DAY! $3 Captain & Cokes 9pm-11pm DJ Dance Party @ 10pm Slamm performing live upstairs!

WEDNESDAY

~SATURDAY~ Skillet Brunch until 3 p.m. $3 Bud Lights Live Bands and DJ from 10 p.m-2 a.m Costume Contest: $2000 Cash Prize for Best Costume!

Continuation of Center City Sips 5p-7p Hip Hop on the Roof & Main Floor 116 S.18 th Street 215-568-1020 www.vangoloungeandskybar.com

m

7p

SUNDAY 10/31

FANG BANGERS BALL COSTUME PARTY! DJs LEE JONES & DIRTY MONDAY 11/1

~SUNDAY~ Skillet Brunch until 3 pm. $3 Stella Pints - $3 Bud Light $4 Guinness Pints 9-11 p.m Costume Contest! $1000 Cash Prize for Best Costume!

DJ MIXOLOGY TUESDAY 11/2

CULTUREAL

JUMPIN’ SALTY BLUES BAND

WEDNESDAY 11/3 SESSIONS W/ SOLOMONIC SOUND ITAL SOUND RASCUL INT’L

Thursday October 28th, 9pm $5 with Costume $10 without Wreckhouse Promotions Presents HALLOWEEN EXTRAVAGANZA Full Blown Cherry, Mr. Unloved, Rigor Mortis Revue, Bombshell Brats Saturday October 30th, 9pm $5 Dave Simons Presents: Holcomb Family and The Greg Sover Band Halloween Sunday October 31st Mohawk-Off! Best and or Biggest Wins a Prize or Prizes… Come see what you can win, bring your hair! Monday Night Jazz Every First Monday NO COVER WedNiteOpenMic‘OriginalMusic’9pm w/ Dave Robins or Abe the Rockstarr Happy Hour Mondays-Fridays 5-7pm $2.50 Kenzinger Pints & More! SIMPSONS PINBALL PARTY IS HERE! October Beer of the Month MAGIC HAT HEX OURTOBERFEST

28

THUR O C T O B E R 2 8 - N O V E M B E R 4 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

SATURDAY 10/30

MONDAY

Hip Hop on the Main Floor w/Strength Dance Competition/ Pole Dancing Oldies Music on The Roof

FRIDAY 10/29 D24K PRESENTS: MIGHTY! (SCARY) COSMO BAKER AND DJ AYRES BRIAN BARKER & FREDDY FIGGS

~THURSDAY~ ½ Price Nachos, $2 Miller Lites ALL DAY! $5 Bombs 9pm-11pm, $3 Three Olives 9pm-11pm DJ Kev

Latin Night/Free Lessons On the Main Floor Mixed Music on The Roof

THURSDAY 10/28 MO $$ NO PROBLEMS

WITH THE RUB

~WEDNESDAY~ ½ Price Appetizer Sampler $2 Blue Moons 10-12 pm $2 U-Call its and $3 Rotating Pints (all day) College Wednesdays – Pong Tournaments and a DJ!

SATURDAY

House Music on the Main Floor Q102 on The Roof

38 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

SILKCITYPHILLY.COM 5TH & SPRING GARDEN

Dark Sounds Dave Ghoul & DJ Kiltboy, No Cover

29

FRI

Gro

up Therapy Bar

Saturday October 30th, 9pm

Halloween Weekend! Michael Madonna Prince . $5 SAT

30

SUN

31

HALLOWEEN PARTY! Costume Contest, Music, Candy…

Kevin C & “Steady” Eddie Austin Dollar Drinks Till 11. NO COVER

1

MON

TIGERBEATS Indie Dance Party. NO COVER

2

TUE

Yacht Rock Jams! NO COVER

3

WED

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ON The CORNeR Of

9Th & ChRISTIAN

50’S/60’S Dance Party NO COVER

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$3 Heineken 20 oz. drafts

Friday 10/29 20 oz. drafts

saTurday 10/30

$2 Bud & Bud Light Karaoke w/ DJ Bob 9pm-2am

sunday 10/31

20 oz drafts & bottles

Watch NFL Football

THE CITY’S BEST HAPPY HOUR!! Mon-Fri 5-7pm $3 Yuengling $4 Domestic Bottles $4 House Wines $4 Well Cocktails $4 Selected Appetizers

Monday 11/1

$2 Miller Lite bottles Tuesday 11/2

$3 Victory

Wednesday 11/3

$3 Sam Adams

20 oz. drafts & bottles

Halloween Party October 30th

Watch NFL & college football on our 18 flat screen TVs! 1116 Walnut St., Philadelphia www.moriartyspub.com

215.627.7676

Saturday, 10/30 Traditional Irish Music Session 4pm Freddy Said What? And Joshua Larson 10pm Wednesday, 11/3 Dexter’s Poker Night Starts at 7, Cards fly at 8 – FREE!

$2 Coors Light

20 oz. drafts & bottles

Friday, 10/29 John Train 6pm New Pony 10pm

food | classifieds

16 oz. aluminum bottles

PRICES SO LOW IT’S SCARY

the agenda

$3 Sierra Nevada

Thursday, 10/28 Bronson Tennis Live from Argentina, Featuring Ryan Tennis 11pm

the naked city | feature | a&e

Thursday 10/28

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Monday Nights Best Open Mic in Town 9:30pm Tuesdays & Thursdays Quizo: Pub Quiz 9:00pm

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portioncontrol By Carolyn Wyman

fifty years, on fresh rolls

40 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

o c t o b e r 2 8 - n o v e m b e r 4 , 2 0 1 0 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

➤ “It’s worth the waIt,” says 35-year regu-

lar William Phillips, while on the typically long lunch line at steak purveyor Dalessandro’s, this month celebrating its 50th anniversary. The tiny former grocery store at Wendover and Henry in Roxborough is said to be an improvement on the Ridge/Manayunk location where the late William Dalessandro — the kind of guy who would leave a fancy Palumbo’s restaurant wedding to grab a tripe sandwich at a stand in the Italian Market — first decided to perfect the cheesesteak. So what’s the secret to a 50-year-old business? William’s niece, Karen Gaffney, cites hard work and her uncle’s devotion to fresh, quality ingredients. “I remember seeing him lay down on the floor to sleep, he was that tired and worked that many hours,” says Gaffney, who worked at Dalessandro’s as a teenager. “And he would not serve a day-old roll,” to the consternation of his frugal mother, who would bag the leftovers for neighbors. William’s daughter, Fran Dalessandro Sack, shares Gaffney’s pride in the shop’s signature long hots, slow-roasted onions and house-sliced rib-eye, but did not feel up to running the business solo after her co-owner brother, Tom, died in 2007. So in 2008, she sold to someone who made some unpopular changes (including to the meat). “We lost more than half our customers,” recalls Carol Glodek, a waitress there for 32 years. But within a matter of months, that owner flipped the business to longtime customers Stefanos (“Steve”) and Margie Kotridis and now, a smiling Glodek says, “It’s back to the way it was, only better.” “They always had the most amazing sandwich,” says Steve, who ran a food cart at 17th and Ludlow for almost 30 years.“And to buy a store with this kind of following and reputation, it was like a dream come true.” To stem the late-2000s “downhill” slide Steve the customer had noticed, Steve the owner installed new countertops and floors, a flat-screen TV, outdoor umbrella-table seating, and added Sunday hours and new Cheez Whiz and microbrew beer options — changes that even former owner Sack calls “needed” and “cool.” “We were scared for a while,” admits Suzi Dooley of Long Beach Island, as she and her husband, Peter, a regular since his late ’60s Philadelphia University college days, down steaks. “But now it’s just fine.” (cwyman@citypaper.net) Dalessandro’s, 600 Wendover St., 215-482-5407,

dalessandros.com.

M-BELLISHMENTS: Though his creative streak sometimes runs too wild, M chef Michael Caspi has an intricate style that pleases eyes and taste buds alike. Standouts include his roast chicken (right) and gazpacho. neal santos

[ review ]

M, M, Good The Morris House Hotel’s restaurant gets a new chef, and new spirit. By Adam Erace M restaurant | Morris House Hotel, 231 S. Eighth St., 215-625-

6666, mrestaurantatthemorrishousehotel.com. Dinner Tue.-Sat., 5-10 p.m.; brunch Sun., 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Appetizers, $4-$15; entrées, $20-$28; desserts, $7; cheese, $5 each or four for $17. Reservations recommended.

Y

ou know, I’ve never tried marijuana.” three glasses of Grenache in, the sixtysomething wasn’t holding back. She wobbled on her stool and dropped her bag. “Am I missing out?” She turned to her friends. “We should try More on: it some time.” She was sitting next to me at the oddly proportioned bar at m restaurant in the morris House Hotel. the stools are too short, the counter is too tall and it’s next to impossible to eat here comfortably unless you’re Pau Gasol. but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Why? two words: michael caspi. You probably don’t know the name, but here’s a list of the people who do: Daniel boulud, Alain Ducasse, thomas Keller. caspi has worked for all of them. the 29-year-old Jerusalem native’s last stop before coming to Philly this year was Per Se, and the new York destination restaurant’s cerebral playfulness is evi-

citypaper.net

dent in his cooking at m. the velvety “polenta” is actually a slow reduction of sweet heirloom corn juice thickened with Parmesan. (A newer version uses red kuri squash.) Instead of shrimp cocktail, there’s “Shrimp and a cocktail,” crustaceans roasted with kaffir lime and paired with a lemongrass vodka fizz. most of what I tried was good enough that even if you’ve never gotten high, like my friend at the bar, you’ll leave m feeling all tingly. And maybe a little paranoid. behind 18th-century wroughtiron gates, the enchanted garden area has always been m’s main attraction. but with outdoor dining on its way out for the season, what will happen to the already-thin crowds? Here’s hoping they’ll retreat inside, where, during my visits, white cloths and ivory walls gave the narrow space a sense of drab elegance, the kind of place Dr. Faye miller would come after being dumped by Don Draper. Fortunately, renomore food and vations are under way that have colored drink coverage the accent walls crimson, and replaced the at c i t y p a p e r . n e t / faux-vintage French movie posters with m e a lt i c k e t. mirrors. this, plus the planned windows on the eighth Street side should give the dining room the fresh air caspi’s presence has given the kitchen. I could be marooned on the Siberian tundra and I still wouldn’t turn down a bowl of his gazpacho. the experience is almost mystical, moving through layers of apple and celery root and quince. After marinating the first two ingredients in champagne vinegar, caspi purées them with cooked quince and olive oil, portions the mix into bowls and freezes them. once set, a hot apple gelatin is poured over the frozen gazpacho, forming a thin veil of gelée >>> continued on page 42


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 M, M Good <<< continued from page 40

Each plate is a composition, and I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but admire the work. under which the soup re-liquefies in the fridge. You might wonder how the sprigs of peppy micro cilantro and quenelle of apple-celery marmalade seem to float on the gazpachoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s surface, since visually, you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a gelĂŠe on top. The first spoonful delivers a textural surprise of solid and liquid. I could see this starter costing $12 elsewhere. Caspi charges $7. You know on Project Runway, when they talk about making clothes look expensive? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what Caspi does with food. Each plate is a composition, and though they can get a little busy, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but admire the intricate work each represents. The tamarind-lacquered short ribs could have done without one component, but which? Keep the stiletto carrots that added a bit of crunch to the plate. And definitely keep the plank of smoky bacon â&#x20AC;&#x153;melbaâ&#x20AC;? propped up on the rib like a see-saw. It would have to be the stripe of celeriac cream, its cold temperature more distracting than delicious. The sweetbreads faced the same issue. It takes Caspi and his crew a week to transform the glands into crispy, creamy wonders, and mere seconds to bury their glory under lots of stuff, including (but not limited to) three preparations of parsnip (tuille, panna cotta and powder), arugula cream and Romanesco broccoli, the cauliflower cousin whose spiraling pyramid heads, in baby form, dotted the dish like scale-model ziggurats. But Caspi is also capable of keeping things simple. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also a show-stopping salad that features more than 25 greens (and purples) from three local farms. Dewy with peach vinaigrette, the leaves came piled one by one, then showered with bacon and brioche crumbs for texture. The juicy, well-seasoned roast chicken shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be missed, either. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s served with a slice of sausage made from thigh meat and chicken mousse. Rich, funky and dripping with mustard jus, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no wonder Caspi seems really proud of it. Outsourced desserts, on the other hand, he does not seem proud of. He shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be. Tiered white-anddark-chocolate mousse was a serviceable bore, and the currant tart might have been tasty were it not ice-cold. Caspi is looking for a pastry chef, but for a guy who worked (albeit briefly) at New York bread mecca Sullivan Street Bakery, he should be able to put out something acceptable in the interim. In the meantime, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cheese. Vivacious manager Hannah Howard (Caspiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s better half) curates the selection, showcased in a handsome wood-and-glass cabinet at the far end of the dining room. The cheeses are lit like movie stars, and Howard removes and unwraps each with the care of a maternity nurse. Glass vessels on the shelf above the cheeses cradle condiments: musky lavender honey, pickled apricots, peach mostarda, sticky dates. Howard knows which goes with what, an intuition that extends to the rest of the smart, polished staff. I drizzled the spoonful of lavender honey over a nutty tomme from the French Pyrenees and dug in. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a different kind of high at M, but one thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no less addicting. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)


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[ food & drink ]

feedingfrenzy By Drew Lazor

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Newtown Square, runs three Baby Blues locations in Cali, and brother Stephen has just debuted the first East Coast outpost. Replacing Bubble House, Baby Blues features a clever reclaimed/salvaged interior, the focal point of which is an island kitchen cranking out dishes from multiple â&#x20AC;&#x2122;cue traditions â&#x20AC;&#x201D; look for beer-braised brisket, baby-back and Memphis-style ribs (above), slow-smoked chicken, seafood and sides aplenty. Full bar, too. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re open daily for lunch and dinner. 3402 Sansom St., 215222-4444, babybluesphilly.com.

Let the feeding frenzy begin. Food news, recipes, menu exclusives citypaper.net/mealticket

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Independents, Couples, Models, Photographers, Videographers and other interested parties may rent studio space for fetish shoots or personal play. No alcohol, drugs, or prostitution or smoking permitted on premises. Information: 215-569-4333.

jonesin’

22 26

27 31

34

32

By Matt Jones

35

if Deer took over the u.s., not even heADlights coulD stop them

!!! STrAP IT ON !!!

BEG FOR MY ATTENTION, POLITE, SINCERE, SUBMISSIVE GENTLEMEN! CALL MISTRESS CLAUDINE 856-858-6589 OR 732-6422418. SOUTH JERSEY LOCATION.

Sensual adult Massage BAcKAchES ANd FOOT PAIN 100% FEMALE

Enjoy a Fantastic Rub-down by a sexy Dominican/Black/ American Indian Mixed Female $40 for an hour. No Intimacy. Broad St. Allegheny. 215-900-7183. GuILT FrEE ruBdOWN! 100% FEMALE

I am Nude. No F.S. 5’1, 160lbs., Dominican Black/Native American female! $40hr. Broad St. Allegheny. 215-900-7183. PrOSTATE MASSAGE

blk goddess 2156689517 “WhAT IS yOur PLEASurE SIr?”

Everyone has a secret fantasy or fetish that they would love to explore; stern teacher, naughty student, a submissive little girl waiting to be drawn out, no matter what your dark desire is, the Royal Women of Philadelphia are well feed that need...come and find out: 215-569-4629. Royalwomenofphiladelphia.com.

 Across 1 8 11 14 15 16 17 19 20 21 23 26 27 28 30 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 47 48 49 51 52 55 57 58 63

Henri Matisse’s art movement Former “Tonight Show” announcer Hall Constricting snake Prefix before sclerosis Penn & Teller, e.g. Sound from a kennel Thai cuisine feature Gnarls Barkley’s ___ Lo Like the god Apocatequil “Weeds” or “Scrubs” Gift wrapping supplies Chart topper “Betty La ___” Constellation with a belt It’s drawn to explain differences Damfool Directional ending Alternative to a gallop It takes up time when taken up Word after sports or training Elevator selection “That’s ___ and you know it!” Actor Penn Deaf “Sesame Street” character Unit of electrical capacity “It’ll be ___ day in hell...” Mercury or Saturn, but not Jupiter “It Was Written” rapper Place for a brace Old school “Rubbish!” Late rapper Shakur Bart’s grandpa “Hey wait, that just might work” Tierra ___ Fuego

64 65 66 67 68

Presidential nickname after Harry Print (or reprint) of a book It usually starts with www. Signed, in a way Saying it’s not so

 Down 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 18 22 23 24 25 29 31 32

“Very sexy!” (hidden in HALF A POUND) “___ you nuts?” Stage actress Hagen California bodybuilding area, after the deer took over? “___ To You” (Lady Antebellum song) “Jersey Shore” guy, slangily Artwork made of tiles University e-mail address suffix Mover in some central air conditioning Delaware’s capital, after the deer take over? Composer in a “Switched-On” record series Cookie in some pie crusts Some Georgia metropolis, after the deer took over? Utah metropolis, after the deer take over? Led Zeppelin drummer John Blackbird relative Lottery come-on Yankees, on the scoreboard Pitcher’s stat Like some T-shirt decals

©2010 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

33 Lasagna divider 34 Financial company with an asterisk in its name 39 Word after sports or wet 40 Tampa’s st. 42 Pastime with a mike 45 Arizona’s capital, after being taken over by deer? 46 Did some finger painting 50 “SNL” alum David 52 Singer Erykah 53 Prefix for geek or mensch 54 It’s yelled on Wall Street 56 Score after deuce, in tennis 59 Newsman Koppel 60 Half of MIV 61 Long time 62 “Brokeback Mountain” director Lee

lAst week’s solution


C A l l 2 1 5 - 7 3 5 - 8 4 4 4 F O r A D v E r t I S I N G I N F O r M At I O N | place your free online classified ad atcitypaper.net/classifieds C l A S S I F I E D S D E A D l I N E S Billboard friday, 5 pM | Adult friday, 12 pM | All Other Classified Categories Monday, 4 pM

Adoptions Adoption

A childless, loving woman wishes to adopt newborn. Financially secure and close extended family. Legal and Confidential. Expenses paid. Please call Lisa at 1-866-8552166. Adoption

A committed, financially secure couple seeks to adopt. Warm, caring home, Love to travel. Ready to provide a bright and happy future. Expenses paid. Neil and Doak, 888-492-6273.

Public Notices gAin nAtionAL EXpoSURE

Reach over 5 million young, active, educated readers for only $995 by advertising in 110 weekly newspapers like this one. Call Jason at 202289-8484.

Automotive Marketplace AUtoS WAntEd

AAAA+ Donation. Donate Your Car, Boat, or Real Estate. IRS Tax Deductible. Free Pick-Up/ Tow. Any Model/Condition. Help Under Privileged Children. Outreachcenter.com. 1-800-597-8311.

Entertainers

Home Services

MALE VoCALiSt WAntEd

HiV +?

ESTABLISHED UPSCALE PARTY BAND SEEKING MALE GUITARIST/VOCALIST FOR ROCK AND POP. MUST HAVE OWN TRANSPORTATION. CALL 267-259-7570.

Business Opportunity BUSinESS oppoRtUnitiES

Do you earn $800 in a day? Your own local Candy Route! 25 Machines and Candy All for $9995. 877-915-8222 All Major Credit Cards Accepted! BUSinESS oppoRtUnitiES

Frac Sand Haulers-Tons of Runs in Texas! Come to where the weather is warm, pay is great and the land is flat. 817769-7621, 817-769-7713.

ADOPTION: Loving couple wants to share our life and love with your newborn. Call Liz & Geoff Toll-Free: 1-866-7627821; Email: Liz_and_Geoff@ comcast.net Adoption

A truly happy couple with so much love to share hopes to give your precious newborn a lifetime of happiness. Michael and Eileen 1-877-955-8355. babyformichaelandeileen@ gmail.com. Adoption

Adoption

Happily married couple, with a personal connection to adoption, dreams of being parents. We will provide a loving, forever home for your baby. Exp. pd. Please call Bernadette and Eddie anytime. 1(800) 734-7143. Looking to Adopt

A lifetime commitment. Will provide endless love. Financial security & education. Orna & Jay 888-617-3330 www.Adopt2010.com pREgnAnt? ConSidERing Adoption?

Talk with caring agency specializing in matching

Business Services AttEnd CoLLEgE onLinE

from Home. *Medical *Business *Paralegal *Computers *Criminal Justice. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. Call 888-220-3984 www. CenturaOnline.com. HigH SCHooL dipLoMA!

Graduate in just 4 weeks! FREE Brochure. Call NOW! 1-800-532-6546 Ext. 97 http://www.continentalacademy.com. REgULAR tRAdition MASSAgE

S w e d i s h , D e e p - T i s s u e, Tuina, Accupressure, Relief Pain, Reflexology, make appt. (215)-873-4835. 12th and Chestnut St.

Corporate to Casual. Portrait to Sports. I’ve been a professional for almost thirty years. With hundreds of wedding and Mitzvah’s I can offer a quality package at a fair and reasonable price. Living in Bala Cynwyd I am centrally located to Philadelphia and the suburbs. Call me and lets discuss your photography needs. 610-6689376 Call me.

itZY BitZY pUppiES

YORKIE PUPPIES FOR SALE PARENTS ON PREMISES. ABSOLUTE BEAUTIES! 856691-7502.

Health Services pERSonAL Skin ConSULtAnt

Contact Rita for common skin concerns, natural remedies, call for free consultation (215) - 424-3270.

Investments/ Financial Planning FinAnCiAL

CASH NOW! Get cash for your structured settlement or annuity payments. High payouts. Call J.G. Wentworth. 1-866SETTLEMENT. (1-866-7388536). Rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau. FinAnCiAL SERViCES

Tired of being in debt? Decrease your Debt-Increase Your Income! $10K+ in Credit Card or IRS Debt. New Lawa have passed to Protect you! Free Consultation 888-4564551. got A JoB BUt nEEd MoRE MonEY?

Struggling with $10,000+ in credit card debt? Settle Your Debt NOW! Increase your income! Free Consultation & Info. 888-458-7488.

If you have been diagnosed with HIV, you may be eligible for a confidential research study. If you qualify and complete the 15 min online survey, you will receive $75 in cash at a facility nearby. Call 877 737 5732 x5

Business & Professional Directory pRoFESSionAL pRooFREAdER

Professional Writer in need of a professional proofreader to edit my book that I am currently writing. The book is will be completed early November. You must show credentials, valid references and resume because I will check them all! I need someone that is serious and knows what to look for! I prefer a journalism major. I take my writing very serious and so should you. Please e-

jobs

Help Wanted – General AiRLinES ARE HiRing:

Train for high paying Aviation Maintenance Career. FAA approved program. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance (888) 8349715. EMpLoYEES nEEdEd!

Employees sought-part time account representatives, sales payment representatives, and bookkeepers. Computer literacy, 1-2 hours of internet access weekly, efficiency, and dedication required. If you are interested or would like further

information, please contact kylebck@gmail.com. HELp WAntEd

**ABLE TO TRAVEL** Hiring 6 people, Free to travel all states, resort areas. No experience necessary. Paid Training/Transpor tation. OVER 18. Start ASAP. 1-866734-5216. HELp WAntEd

Heat & Air JOBS-Ready to work? 3 week accelerated program. Hands on environment. Nationwide certifications and Local Job Placement Assistance! 1-877-994-9904.

$$$ HELp WAntEd $$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com.

OTR Freight Increase, Great Pay and Benefits! Class A CDL and 1 year experience required 800-677-5627 www. westsidetransport.com. HELp WAntEd dRiVER

ASAP! New Pay Increase! 37-43 cpm. Excellent Benefits. Need CDL-A & 3 mos. recent OTR. 877-258-8782 www. meltontruck.com.

Experienced Reefer, Tanker, Flatbed Drivers Needed! Prime’s Incredible Freight network offers you: * Great Pay & Benefits *Steady Freight. Call Prime today! 1-800-249-9591. www.primeinc.com.

HELp WAntEd dRiVER

HELp WAntEd dRiVER

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Need Extra Money? Start by Reducing Your Credit Card Debt! NO Upfront Fees. Settle Your Debt & Increase Your Income! Free Consultation & Info 888-449-7424.

CDL-A Drivers: Driver In Style! New 2011 Freightliner Cascadias Plus The Best Miles, Pay & Performance Bonus. $500 Sign-On for Flatbed. CDL-A, 6 mo. OTR. Western Express. 888-801-5295.

TRUCK DRIVERS WANTED! SALARY POSITION! $950+ WEEKLY! HOME WEEKENDS! EXCELLENT BENEFITS! NEW EQUIPMENT! HEARTLAND EXPRESS 1800-441-4953. www.heartlandexpress.com.

HELp WAntEd

HELp WAntEd dRiVER

MoViE EXtRAS

HELp WAntEd

Sales Professionals Wanted: Recession-Proof Medicare Industry, pre-qualified leads helping Seniors. Positive attitude and communication skills required. Excellent Incentives, Growth Potential. $80,000 plus. Call Julie tollfree 1-877-864-9317. HELp WAntEd

1000 ENVELOPES=$5000, Receive $3-$7 for every envelope processed with our sales material. GUARANTEED! FREE Information, 24 HR recording: 1-800-471-9524. HELp WAntEd

Looking for experienced service technician. Must have experience with washer, dryers, stoves, etc. Reliable transportation and tools.Pay will be based on experience. If interested please contact 267-687-8520 or e-mail resume to jonathonfitzgerald40@gmail.com

CLASS A CDL DRIVERS: * Excellent Equipment! *Consistent home time *Great pay/benefits. SMITH TRANSPORT, INC. Call 877-432-0048 www.smithdrivers.com. HELp WAntEd dRiVER

Drivers-$1,000 Sign On Bonus!!! NE REGIONAL and

earn up to $150/day to stand in backgrounds of major film. Experience not required. CALL NOW! 1-888-664-0062. pAid in AdVAnCE!

Make a $1000! a Week mailing brochures from home! Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Star t immediately! www.

FICTITIOUS NAME NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN, pursuant to the provisions of Act of Assembly No. 295, approved December 16, 1982, effective March 16, 1983, of intention to file in the Office of the Secretary of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, Department of State, Bureau of Corporations at Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, a Certificate for the conduct of a business in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, under the assumed or fictitious name, style or designation of:

Musician’s Services MALE VoCALiSt WAntEd

Established private party band seeking male vocalist/front man who can sing Rock,and Pop. Must have your own transportation.

TRAN LAW ASSOCIATES

with its principal place of business at 834 Chestnut Street, Suite 206, Philadelphia, PA 19107. The name and address of the person owning or interested in said business is:

Dung Hanh Tran (“Djung Tran”), P.O. Box 551, Bensalem PA 19020.

gently moving your earthly possessions

53

215.670.9535

www.mambomovers.com

The certificate will be filed on or after October 19, 2010.

P H I l A D E l P H I A C I t y PA P E r | o c t o b e r 2 8 - n o v e m b e r 4 , 2 0 1 0 | C I t y PA P E r . N E t |

ADOPT: A happily married couple have room in our loving hearts and home for your newborn. Expenses paid. Please call Debra & George at (877) 732-0291.

Breast Cancer Research foundation! Most Highly rated breast cancer charity in America! Tax Deductible/Fast Free Pick Up. 1-800-379-5124. www.cardonatonsforbreastcancer.org.

pHotogRApHY dAVid A. iCkES

For Sale

HiV +?

donAtE YoUR CAR!

Adoption

If you have been diagnosed with HIV, you may be eligible for a confidential research study. If you qualify and complete the 15 min online survey, you will receive $75 in cash at a facility nearby. Call 877 737 5732 x5

mail me: writerchikita@ymail. com. (When you email me, I will give you details about the compensation)This should only take at least a weeks process of editing.

ad the first time it runs. This newspaper can assume no responsibility for errors beyond the first printing of the incorrect ad. City Paper will not be responsible for failure to insert an advertisement. City Paper reserves the right to edit advertising copy, graphics and photos.

classifieds

m arket place

Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

POlICIES: It is the responsibility of the Advertiser to check his or her

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

classifieds

the


food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

homemailerprogram.net SALSA DANCER NEEDED!

Beginner Salsa Dancer looking for a practice partner, location flexible, contact Roy (215)-353-2273 for details! WoRk foR CommoN CoNCERNS

Help elect Joe Sestak to the U.S. Senate! Job runs through November 2nd Locations in Springfield and Ardmore Call Tory: 484-478-0137 Paid for by Progressive Future at www.progressivefuture.org Not authorized by any candidate or candidate committee.

r eal estate

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homes for Sale SPhiLLy RoW homE - 26k

We are looking for a investor/buyer for this row home in South Philly. This home needs a total renovation. We are asking 26K, but we are open to negotiations for a good solid offer. The house is located on Manton Street near Grays Ferry. If you are interested please call (202) 544-5599 for more information. Thank you.

land/ lots for Sale LAND foR SALE

54 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

o c t o b e r 2 8 - n o v e m b e r 4 , 2 0 1 0 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HERE!!! NTS FALL LAND SALE: Oneida, Oswego, Madison, Chenango, & Lewis Counties. Over 150 Properties! 7 Acres Riverfront-$29,995. NOW: $139,995. Aditondack River-16 Acres on Water.WAS: $129,995. NOW: $79,995. Tug Hill- Montague-Hunting Land 25 Acres w/Timber: $34,995. Free Closing Costs. Call NOW! 800-229-7843 www.LandandCamps.com.

LAND foR SALE

Potter County-4 acres, Pine Creek frontage, RT 6 frontage west of Galeton, standard perc, utilities, near hunting land and ski area. $59,900. 800-668-8679. REAL EStAtE

Lake Pennock NY; 6 acres Lakefront $29,900. 7 acres 1000â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Waterfront $39,900. 5 acres Lakeside Log Cabin $99,900. Borders 3,000 acre NYS Forest. Owners-Broker 1-888-683-2626.

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rentals

Move in Specials!

15th/SPRuCE

hEightS of CoLLiNgSWooD

Newly Renovated One & Two Bedroom Apartments within 7 Minutes of Center City Philadelphia! One Bedrooms starting at $890 Two Bedrooms starting at $1100 Community Features: 24 Hour Fitness Center Resort Style Swimming Pool Fireside Lounge One Site Market & Dry Cleaner Free Shuttle to Patco Train Station Underground Garage Parking Available Select Units have Stainless Steel Appliances and Great City and Lake Views! Call Alyssa at the Leasing Center 856-854-4112!! houSE APARtmENt!

apartments for rent 2bR W/ NEgotiAbLE LEASE

South Philadelphia No credit check 2 bedroom apartment Negotiable Lease patio $500â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400 ExP bRiCk, utiLitiES PAiD!

Queen Village No credit check Utilities paid exposed brick hardwood floors $700â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400 fiRSt moNth fREEbALA AREA

BRITH SHOLOM HOUSE 62+ Bldg. Studio & 1BR Units Avail. UtiLs Incld. Daily Meal Avail. Rent Starts at $455. Call us 215-877-3445

hEightS of CoLLiNgSWooD

Newly Renovated Apartments in Collingswood, NJ just 10 minutes to Downtown Philadelphia! Community Features 24 Hour Fitness Center, On Site Market & Dry Cleaner, Resor t Style Swimming Pool, Free Shuttle to Patco Train Station & Clubhouse. ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED IN RENT! One Bedrooms start at $890 Two Bedrooms start at $1100 Call Our Leasing Center to Hear about our Great

Fairmount Park 3 bedroom 2 bath house apar tment new kitchen & bath dining room $800â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400

1St fLooR DuPLEx

Southwest Philadelphia No credit check 1 bedroom D u p l ex 1 s t f l o o r p r i va t e entrance $500â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400 APARtmENt oN gREAt StREEt!

Manayunk 1 bedroom apartment Great Street hardwood floors bring pets! $600â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400 APARtmENt W/ APPLiANCES

Castor Gardens Have pets 1 bedroom apartment patio parking appliances $600â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400 LARgE APt NEAR SugARhouSE!

No CREDit ChECk 1 bEDRoom

Por t Richmond No credit check 1 bedroom renovated parking dining room $400 Locators 215.922.3400 utiLitiES PAiD ARt muSEum

Art Museum Renovated apartment utilities paid high ceilings Locators 215.922.3400

One Bedroom 1 bEDRoom W/ PARkiNg!

Brewer ytown 1 bedroom apartment Near Campus parking hardwood floors $500â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400 1 bEDRoom With PARkiNg!

Juniata Park 1 bedroom apartment parking yard pets ok utilities paid $600â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400 15th/SPRuCE

HUGE 1bdrm in Beautiful Brownstone, Great Location, Hi Ceilings, 2 Deco FP, HW Flrs, Updated Kitchen, Onsite Laundry, AC, Intercom Entry, Pet Friendly. $1340/Mo. 215735-8030. Lic # 380139

Beautiful Art Deco High-rise 1Bdrm Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitch, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! From $1080/Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789.

Port Richmond, minutes walk to Sugarhouse Casino!, large kitchen, 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 2nd fl deck, asking $675. contact Joe (215) - 755-0431.

two Bedrooms 2 bEDRoom With DECk

Cedar Park 2 bedroom Duplex off street parking deck big kitchen negotiable lease! Locators 215.922.3400 itALiAN mARkEt NEAR tRANS!

Italian Market Renovated 2 bedroom Near transportation appliances big kitchen $700â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400

215.922.3400

fRANkfoRD LEASE PuRChASE!

three+ Bedrooms

Least to purchase 3 bedroom 2 story house patio & garage in Frankford $850 Locators 215.922.3400

Newly Remodeled Kitchen w/ Granite Countertop, Separate Dining Rm, Living Rm, & Family Rm, A/C, Spacious Rooms, Terrific Location! $2799/Mo. 215-735-8030. #216850

homE W/ off StREEt PARkiNg

SiNgLE homE iN bREWERytoWN

15th & SPRuCE/AvENuE of thE ARtS

PENTHOUSE Avail! One of a kind spacious bi-level penthouse in historic Ar t Deco High-Rise, 3bdrms/ 3 Full Baths/ 2 half baths, 4 Lrg Terraces w/Amazing City Views, Entertainment Rm w/ Wet Bar, New Kitch w/ Granite Countertops, W/D, CA, Vaulted Ceilings, HW Flrs. $3999/Mo. 215-735-8030 . Lic #219789. Drexel/Penn 6 bedroom 2 story house basement patio yard hardwood floors! Locators 215.922.3400 2 StoRy ovERbRook houSE

No CREDit ChECk 3 bEDRoom

2 StoRy 6 bEDRoom

Overbrook No credit check 2 story 3 bedroom house fenced yard & patio! $800 Locators 215.922.3400

Ger mantown No credit check 3 bedroom brick home washer/dryer $700â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400

3 bED W/ yARD foR PEtS!

NoRth PhiLA SEC 8 3 bEDRoom

Roxborough 3 bedroom 2 bath 2 story yard patio basement dining room Bring pets! Locators 215.922.3400

North Philadelphia Renovated 3 bedroom 2 story house Section 8 ok yard for pets $800â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400

3bED houSE W/ gARAgE!

oLNEy RENt to oWN!

Oxford Circle 3 bedroom 2 story house patio basement yard hardwood floors garage! Locators 215.922.3400

Olney No credit check required 3 bedroom Rent to Own yard pets ok $700â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400

bRiNg PEtS to fiShtoWN!

RittENhouSE SquARE

F i s h t o w n H ave p e t s ? 2 story 3 bedroom house yard granite kitchen! Locators 215.922.3400

Enormous 3bdrm w/ 2 Full Baths in Beautiful Historic Brownstone, Full Size Washer/ Dryer in Apt, HW Flrs, 2 Decorative Fireplaces, Hi Ceilings,

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lulueightball By Emily Flake

Brewerytown 3 bedroom 2 bath Single home fenced yard for pets $700â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400 SW RENt to oWN SiNgLE homE!

Southwest Philadelphia Rent to Own 3 bedroom Single home yard pets ok! $700 Locators 215.922.3400

homes 2bED/offiCE iN E. PASSyuNk

M a ke t h i s b r i g h t , n ew l y r e n ova t e d , s p a c i o u s 2 story, 2-bed, 1 bath house your home. Located at 921 Dudley Street, 19148. It also includes a bonus room that is perfect for a den or office. Rent is $1000 per month. On a clean, quiet street and features gorgeous, restored original floors throughout, freshly painted walls, extralarge eat-in kitchen with new gas cooktop, refrigerator and butcher block countertops, lots of closet space and a full, newly painted basement with washer and dryer. The house also has a yard thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perfect for bbqs and outdoor dining. Just a few blocks from the shops and restaurants on Passyunk Ave. Close to the Broad Street Line and the 23 and 47 bus routes. Call or e-mail to schedule an appointment. Available

3+bR W/ fiNiShED bASEmENt

East Mount Airy 3+ bedroom 2 story house patio washer & dr yer finished basement appliances! Locators 215.922.3400 4 bED NEAR ChiNAtoWN!

Chinatown Area 4 bedroom 2 story fenced yard basement large kitchen $1200 Locators 215.922.3400 4 bEDRoom With DEN!

Northern Liberties 4 bedroom Twin pets ok den yard air No credit check! Locators 215.922.3400 7RoomS iN CENtER City

Center City 7 room home 2 stor y hardwood floors basement $900â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215.922.3400 ChRiStiAN St LEASE PuRChASE

Christian Street 4 bedroom Single house No credit check Lease purchase! Locators 215.922.3400 goRgEouS homE W/ fiREPLACE

Queen Village Area Gorgeous 3 story 4 bedroom home with fireplace $1250 Locators 215.922.3400

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O x fo r d C i r c l e N o c r e d i t check 2 bedroom near park big kitchen $600 Locators 215.922.3400

Chestnut Hill Area No credit c h e ck 2 b e d r o o m p a r k ing pets ok $750 Locators

NEWLy RENovAtED

3 Bedroom Beautiful Bedroom- Full Sliding Mirror Beautiful Newly Painted Exterior $750 a Month 1929 Pierce St Philadelphia PA, 19145 Please Call 215-908-6115

No CREDit ChECk 2 bEDRoom

No CREDit ChECk 2 bEDRoom!

Pennsport No credit check 3 bedroom home yard patio parking! Locators 215.922.3400

to show most evenings and weekends. Available Nov. 1 or before. First and last monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rent and one monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s security deposit required ($3000) plus credit and employment check. Application fee is $50, unless you bring a credit report (then itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s free). Tenants pays all utilities. One-year lease, with the option to renew. Sorry no pets. No section 8 or rent vouchers. Call Susan at 267-240-5874 to schedule an appointment.

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OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 4, 2010 CALL 215-735-8444

GET $150

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TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

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Make your own Bloody Mary Brunch every Sat & Sun www.londongrill.com 215.978.4545

BLUEBOND MUSIC SCHOOL

NOW ACCEPTING STUDENTS Guitar, Bass, Drums,Vocals 511 S.4th St. 215.829.1690 www.bluebondguitars.com

HOUSE OF TEA

OVER 300 TEAS FROM 30 COUNTRIES 720 SOUTH 4TH ST WWW.HOUSEOFTEA.COM

DANCERS WANTED

Flexible hours, will train, no experience necessary, excellent pay, safe/secure environment. Call (609) 707-6075

$5 WINE SNOB CELEBRATION

up to $16 per 100 unused strips. Pickup call 215 525-5022

SILK CITY

DINER â&#x20AC;˘ LOUNGE HALLOWEEN WEEKEND 10.29-10.31.10 COSTUME PARTY EVERY NIGHT!

FRIDAY: D4K PRESENTS:

THE RUB COSMO BAKER & DJ AYRES

OPENING SET BY BRIAN BARKER & FREDDY FIGGS

SATURDAY:

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CORSETS & CLUBWEAR

12 designers - 200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s leather - kilts - costumes PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM 7 days www.passionalboutique.com

ROXY GUITAR presents

World reknown guitar shredder MICHAEL ANGELO BATIO for free clinic Oct. 16th 2pm to 4pm 7026 Ridge Ave 19128 215-483-1889

IS YOUR PET MISBEHAVING?

More often than you may realize, this behavior is caused by past life events intruding on the present day subconscious. Get your pet the help he or she needs. Call CORKY the Pet Psychic. (215) 555-1490

RECLAIMED TIMBER BENCHES ON STEEL LEGS Designed by local architect. Hand made with an elegant emphasis on detail to connections & materiality. Great for dining rooms, kitchens, the foot of the bed or your garden. For inquires & literature, call 215.923.1115

HIDDEN CAFE 328 SOUTH STREET (215) 413-2486

FAST FORWARD

Jamie Moffett Media Design & Production Motion picture, promotionals, music videos http://jamiemoffett.com

136 Chestnut St. Philadelphia, PA 215.413.1918

JUST $5 TOTAL. 5 until 7pm Tuesday til Sunday Cash only at bar while supplies last in November 2010 33 S. 3rd Street, Cellar Level. Philadelphia 267-318-7269 www.beneluxx.com Reservations at website

CASH Paid for DIABETIC TEST STRIPS

Private Yoga Sessions

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TROPHY BIKES

FANTASTIC FALL SALE Oct 31 to Nov 7 U. CITY N. LIBERTIES Save On Everything www.trophybikes.com

â&#x20AC;&#x153;The 300 Greatest Beers Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Never Hadâ&#x20AC;?

Nobilo Sauvignon Blanc or Don Miguel Gascon Malbec or Stella, Hoegaarden or Leffe with our cheese or chocolate sample

beneluxx

Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Not A Tech Head....

but youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to make life easier with the help of technology. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know where to start? Whether you own a small business, or just need some advice for home, Guidewire can help. Let Guidewire assist you in finding the perfect technology oriented solution you need today. wayne@guidewireservices.com

2740 S Front St . Philadelphia    215-467-1980

Philadelphia City Paper, October 28th, 2010  

Philadelphia's Trusted News and Entertainment Source.