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FEATURES

The Phillipian

May 24, 2014

Go Find Yourself a Pot, Features Is Holding a Roast! Sophia Lloyd-Thomas ’14 and Scott Diekema ’14: Remington Remmel ’14 and Camille Price ’15: Scott is digging his SLT (salmon-lettuce-tomato). Rem’s really excited to go to school near Durham, Grade-A hawties NC, and so is Camille. Grade: A+ Renée LaMarche ’14 and Rob Irvin ’15: Rob gets to wear a long dress, ‘cause if you didn’t Jamie Chen ’15 and Taylor Chin ’14: know, they’re dating. We now present you Ms. and Mr. Jamie Taylor Level: Committed Chen. Grade: first man Graham Johns ’14 and Caroline Sambuco ’14: The life of the party and the trophy wife are teamAndrew Yang ’14 and Emma Mehlman ’14: ing up to produce the life of the wife. Lady Melisandre meets the air bender... this night Grade: Blonde is dark and full of terror. Grade: Season 4 Katie Kreider ’14 and Kyle Moss ’15: This is the closest Moss’ll ever get to the NHL, but Zoe Gallagher ’14 and Oli Chernyk ’15: we’re really surprised Kreider didn’t take Carey Zoe loves hummus, and Oli lives in Taylor-MidPrice out instead. dle-East, so it’s pretty much perfect. Grade: #20 Grade: 5+ Meghana Jayam ’14 and Sina Golkari ’15: Hopefully Sina doesn’t have a pb and jay am allergy. Grade: 5 Stephanie Nekoroski ’14 and Zach Merchant ’13: One of the two couples returning for round two, let’s hope the change of venue doesn’t throw them off too much. Grade: Consisten-C Evie Elson ’15 and Michael Kim ’14: Pat on the back for Michael for finding himself a Prom date. Grade: #15

Austin Gaiss ’14 and Cat Haseman ’14: This couple of Blue Keys can open doors. Level: 10. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2... Peter Higgins ’14 and Allison Roth ’14: Fun fact: Allison and Asher Roth are actually related, but Higgie prefers Biggie. Grade: 3 Sierra Heneghan ’14 and Luke Stidham ’14: She may love tie die, but you’ll die at his tie! Grade: 6 Michael Camarda ’14 and Meera Patel ’15: She really flipturns him on. Grade: 400 sprint

Ellie Simon ’15 and Jake Marrus ’14: Phillipincest at its best. Grade: Top Ten Jason Canavan ’14 and Gina Soutendijk ’15: He’s not the only animal in her room. Grade: hedgehog. Marjorie Kozloff ’14 and Peter Bensen ’14: Is he going to live in her teaching fellow apartment? Level: TruLuv Junius Williams ’14 and Adèle Bernhard ’14: His first lady. Grade: Only a 6 Farris Peale ’14 and Kayla Thompson ’15: See you in the White House 2048. Grade: PowerCouple Clark Perkins ’14 and Annie Littlefield ’15: Junius actually wanted to ask her, but Clark put his cleat down. Level: the cuteness limit does not exist Alec D’Alelio ’14 and Lily Zildjian ’14: We always knew he loved music. Grade: A-sharp Hannah Sorkin ’14 and Zach Baum ’15: He wears the mittens in the relationship. Grade: 100 Celsius Bridget Higgins ’14 and Vincent Mocco ’15: Don’t Mocc us. Grade: Taco

Jake Howell ’14 and Jisoo Chung ’14: James Judelson ’14 and Madeleine Mayhew ’15: They’ve already warmed up in Korea, so they’ll be Hey, are you from New York? Yeah! Same! Alex Thomas ’15 and Matthew Rusk-Kosa ’14: rekindling the flame soon. Grade: 212 We heard talk of a blue tux. Who knew he cared Grade: TBT so much about the Big Blue! Sarah Cornelius ’14 and Jared Newman ’15: Grade: Whatever, bro. Stephen Moreland ’14 and Leah Shrestinian ’14: What’s the Greek root for “brilliant”? Wait! Are Stephen and Leah still on campus? It’s Grades: unreal Abigail Keller ’14 and Stephen Fehnel ’13: well after sports got out! Also known as AbKel and SteFehn, it doesn’t Grade: Day Students... Ew... Rob Rush ’14 and Emma Kahn ’14: seem fair this name is basically still the same. Emma, I hope you know Prom lasts like eight Grade: so 2013 Emmie Avvakumova ’14 and Grace Tully ’15: hours, ’cause there’s Noneed to Rush. The House of Tully: family, nudity, honor. Grade: 6 Doris Nyamwaya ’14 and Jack MacWilliams ’15: Grade: Season 5 Word is he’s moving in next year. David Belluche ’14 and Kinsey Yost ’15: Grade: T-Unit Anika Kim ’14 and Josh Murphy ’15: “Wow, do those legs go all the way up?” Unfortunately, Anika’s Seoul may not be making “No, Kinsey, my legs end at my waist.” Harshita Gaba ’14 and Paxton Hyde ’15: an appearance at this event. Grade: like octo-varsity Both hail from the North and bond over a love of Grade: 50 points to Slytherin Nordic... these two are a regular Olaf and Anna. JS Dackiw ’14 and Ashlie Rockwood ’14: Grade: Frozen Hannah Guzzi ’14 and Nick DiStefano ’14: I thought you couldn’t go to prom if you were They’re good at small talk. over 21? Sydney Adams ’14 and Khalil Blassingame ’12: Grade: 5’3” Grade: 21 Jump Street After two years, Khalil’s blassing back into the game! Matt Schwolsky ’14 and Alejandra Uria ’15: Nate Meehan ’14 and Amanda Krakauer ’15: Grade: 2012 She called his name, she called his name, but she Most IntimiDating 2015? spelled it wrong. Grade: 5 Clint Yoo ’14 and Paulina Munn ’15: Grade: 4 YOO know what’s up! Bryan Ackil ’14 and Eliza Quigley ’15: Grade: C sharp Will Thomasco ’14 and Mikaela Rabb ’14: Let’s hope they don’t move too quigley. She likes her thomasco sauce extra spicy. Level: Puck Katie Williams ’14 and David Gaetano ’14: Grade-A Southern Gem Trophy husband in the making. Thomas Bakken ’14 and Mads Engel ’14: Grade: 14 Carat Christian Vallis ’14 and Lauren Smith ’15: He’ll wear the heelies. “Who’s Vallis wrestling with?” Grade: weeeeee Katherine Tobeason ’14 and Juan Pablo “I don’t know if that’s wrestling... Oh, no it is!” Villereal ’15: Grade: 5’2” Alex Tamkin ’14 and Meera Bhan ’14: He crushes scarves. That is all. They’re gonna have a fun-damentally good time. Grade: A+ Drake Danner ’14 and Sarah Marcotte ’14: Grade: 6++++++ (back by popular demand) Frankly, we’re shocked they’re even going to Will Young ’14 and Nekele McCall ’14: Prom. Who needs the establishment? Charlie Talcott ’14 and Olivia Cabral ’14: Lax. Bro. Grade: they don’t suscribe to labels. Her fresh legs more than overcompensate for the Level: D1 freshness he lost when he broke his. Harry Wright ’14 and Janine Ko ’14: Grade: 2legz Henry Kalb ’14 and Liana Brooks ’15: Janine always gets things wright. No, seriously, Henry always did enjoy Brooks Brothers. she’s never been wrong. Alec Tolentino ’14 and Emma Crowe ’15: Grade: 6 Grade: 6.0 This Crow got lucky with a “Hawk-a”. Grade: Sky High Heson Oh ’14 and Claire Frankel ’14: Kai Kornegay ’14 and Michael Huang ’15: Ohhhhh, that’s where she’s been! Kai’s just trying to make sure her Prom photos are James Robertson ’14 and Corinne Singer ’15: Grade: MIA korny. They’ve been in love since they met on the Grade: not too tall swingset.... last week. Rome Arnold ’14 and Sophia Hartman, MillGrade: pre-K brook ’16: Kate Wincek ’14 and Billy Casagrande ’15: Unbelievable! She’s real! Livin’ Prom without the fast Lane. Grant Bitler ’14 and Alec Kingston ’14: Grade: square root of negative one Grade: crewtons They’re going to be the best chaperones! Grade: 10,000 years With love,

Jake, Rem, Ellie and Jack

Features Prom Roast  

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