Page 1









PAGE 6 – “BE YOURSELF” So why are you judging me?

Page 10 – AT & T

Page 12 – “The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow”

Page 18 – LGBT

Page 20 – Dear Editor

I want to do my substantial revision on my ethnography. I've selected this assignment because it is the assignment I did most poorly on. The thesis of the paper “Can the LGBT unify the homosexual community on campus as a whole and mark a stepping stone in achieving equal rights?� However, my paper was more of a summary of my day at the LGBT meeting. I intend to change my thesis entirely for my substantial revision, because I don't believe it's clear or specific enough for me to write an ethnographic analysis. I think my new thesis will be something about the LGBT being a safe haven for the students at UB, as opposed to the school and society as a whole. It will reveal if the reason they join the club is because they

don’t feel as safe in the outside world

My Safe Haven

I plan on doing by collecting more evidence based on the opinions of people that are members. I would do this by attending a few more LGBT meetings and by asking to interview more people on this matter and hearing what they have to say. Whether they agree or disagree with my thesis, or whether they believe the LGBT isn't seen a safe haven to them at all. I was told in peer review that the introduction and conclusion of my essay were the best parts of it. Therefore, I will focus more on changing the body and the content of the essay itself. I believe that this way, I will be able to support my thesis a lot better. I also believe it will be easier to achieve based on the fact that I have a more specified thesis to focus on. I believe that with a new thesis, I can make observations and write an ethnographic paper rather than a personal narrative, the way I originally did.


I've decided to do my ad on Breast Cancer Awareness month, which is the month of October. I chose to do this because my mother is a breast cancer survivor and there are so many women and families being affected by this horrible disease, every day. In 2013, there have been almost 40,000 deaths due to breast cancer. I believe that raising awareness is very important in the ultimate goal of finding a cure for breast cancer.


This ad is promoting Breast Cancer Awareness specifically through the Avon Walk. The ad shows the thousands of men and women that participate in the walk every year and encourages the viewer to want to be one of them. This is done through the positive tone of the narrator speaking about the walk, and by the statistics stated. For example, the statistic that by 1

person participating in the walk, 12 women can get mammograms. It also has an effect on the viewers to want to make a

change by its trademark, "The more of us walk, the more of us survive." The use of the word "us" also makes the viewer feel a part of it just by watching the commercial.

“BE YOURSELF” …So why are you judging me? Ever since I was a little girl, my father always said “As

long as someone is a good, genuine person, nothing else matters. Not their shape, size, color; nothing but who they are and how they treat you.”

This is something I live by and keep in mind every day, especially since I began college at the University at Buffalo. I’ve met so many new people, and everyone is different in their own way. The amount of diversity on our campus is immaculate. But one of the people that made a big impression on me since day one of orientation, is now one of my best friends. When Oliver and I met, we clicked right away. I knew from the beginning he was different than most guys, and rest assured I was right. One night, on the first week of school, Oliver was upset and I began to ask him why. He told me that he was gay, which made him extremely insecure in a new environment like Buffalo, to a point where he felt as if he didn’t belong. So, the next day, Oliver and I went to the first LGBT meeting on campus.

As we walked into Room 145D at the Student Union, I could tell Oliver was nervous. “If I give you the look, it means I want to leave. Okay?” he said. I said okay, but I had a feeling that “the look” wasn’t going to be necessary. Everyone deserves a community of some sort in which they can feel they truly belong. However, in the world we live in today, where things such as

sexism, racism and stereotypes exist, it isn’t always easy. Especially when you’re “different.”

The LGBT club at the University at Buffalo is one of those safe places where Oliver, and other members of the homosexual community, can feel as if they belong. I absorbed that feeling and positive energy the moment I walked into that room for our first meeting, and knew that this was the group I wanted to observe for my ethnography. Specifically, I wanted to observe why room 145D a safe haven for the members of the LGBT community, as oppose to the rest of the university and society as a whole?

In order to define the word “community”, words such as group, body, brotherhood, sisterhood and togetherness are always used

But I wanted to know more than just the clubs purpose. I wanted to know why these members felt that this room specifically was their safe place, and if and why they didn’t feel as safe outside of it, so I asked. John, a bisexual junior, said “Well, I’ve had a boyfriend for 2 years now in Buffalo, and we love each other very much. But whenever we walk to class together and I hold his hand, I can’t help but notice the stares and they really do bother me. Like, what are you looking at? Why is that so wrong? He’s my boyfriend!” I realized through that statement that there must be a lot of people that are homophobic, and that everyone isn’t as pro-gay as I am. Even in a “democratic” and “liberal” environment like a university. John then called his boyfriend, Alex, over to where we were talking, grabbed his hand, and kissed him. When I saw that, I smiled, and John exclaimed

“You see! If everyone smiled like you just did, we wouldn’t need gay clubs or gay bars or gay anything. But instead, we get death stares, and it’s a shame really.” Alex This also defines what the LGBT club is, according to its members. When I asked the president of the club, Paris (senior), why he views the club as a community, he responded “Because not only am I a part of LGBT due to my sexual orientation, I’m a part of this club because everyone here is my family. These are my brothers and sisters. We accept each other unconditionally of who we love and that’s known, just by being a member. However, by just being a member of the university or society, that isn’t known. Out there, you never know who will judge you, regardless if you go to the same school or live in the same town. Here, there is nothing to judge. Were all in the same boat.” .” Through this response, I

discovered the clubs main purpose, and that is to bond a group of people that are constantly discriminated against, in an environment in which they can feel love and security.

then added, “So I guess we’re stuck here babe, until the world starts smiling at us too.” What they were saying was so legitimate, it made me put my own life into their perspective. What if I couldn’t hold my boyfriend’s hand without being scolded by society? What if I couldn’t kiss him without the glares and prejudice? I would be just as afraid and insecure as they are, and if there was a specific place where I knew I wouldn’t have to feel that way, I’d run there. I asked another freshman boy named Tyler, sitting next to me, why he joined, and I expected the typical answer of “Because I’m gay, duh” but that wasn’t the response I got. He looked at me and said “Because this is who I am, this is me and I’ve accepted that. And this club, this environment, helps me love who I am. Unlike a lot of society, that promotes the fact that I should hate myself. And I did that for a long time, and I don’t want to do that anymore.”

I thought about all the different aspects of society that could make Tyler hate himself. The views of some republican conservatives, the views of the Catholic Church… Maybe even the views of some of his very own friends and family. I came to the realization that I couldn’t even fathom how difficult it must be to go about everyday life with the idea in the back of my mind that people think the way I live and who I am, is unnatural and wrong. After getting the picture as to why they were here, I wanted to know what kind of activities and events they participated in the club to help each other in learning to love and accept themselves, despite all the discrimination they face. The leaders spoke to me about different hotlines and sessions they have individually with each member throughout the year. The hotline is called “Need a Friend?”, and that’s exactly what it provides. Members of the club can contact the leaders anonymously and gain a friend that shares their perspective, to talk to about anything. “A lot of the sessions and phone calls are revolved around promoting self-love, because everyone needs that at some point, you know? Someone to tell you that you matter and that people care about you”, leader Claudia explained. They also have multiple self-love promoting activities such as the Rainbow Color Run, dinners, dances, fund raisers, drag shows, performances, etc. I asked a sophomore member, Danielle, what she thought about the activities. She said, enthusiastically, “I love them, especially the Rainbow Color Run! I met all my best friends through these activities! They showed me that not only can I feel safe being here, but I can have so much fun while doing so!” I was so impressed by all the ways it was possible to get involved, and how friendly and open each of the members were to someone who was not even part of the community. Even in the first meeting itself, everyone was happy to be there and excited for the fun to start.

They were very friendly and open, which made me, an outsider, feel so comfortable. So I could only imagine the comfort and love they felt just by being among each other. Above all, I noticed that they were not afraid to show and be who they are within those walls, and that was enough for me. Through my observations, I’ve concluded that the LGBT club is a safe haven for many members of the homosexual community at the University at Buffalo. It allows this community as a whole to stand together, support each other and love freely through its various activities, programs and meetings. It’s a club free of society’s typical discrimination that gives its members a place to belong and truly be themselves. The members of the LGBT are people just like everyone else and deserve to have the equal rights that every human being on this earth should have. That includes being able to hold hands, kiss and profess affection to someone you love openly, regardless of their sex, and without feeling shame for it. The LGBT club is their safe place by giving them these rights that society indirectly, through glares and prejudgment, and directly, through politics and religion, takes away from them. Equality has always been an issue in history, whether it be through racism pre-civil war or woman’s inability to vote before the 19th amendment was passed. And for the past 50 years, the homosexual community has been at war for their rights as well. I truly believe that this club is a stepping stone in a major movement towards the elimination of sexism and equality for all. LGBT is something I am so proud to be a part of as a heterosexual female. And I will continue to

play my part in this club throughout my college life, in the hopes that one day, the world itself will be a safe haven for my best friend and all the member of its community to be who they are.

This ad is for the cellphone network, AT&T. It is one of my favorite commercials because of its light hearted humor. I like the style of the ad because of its use of questions that have "obvious answers" and the fact that the questions are being asked to and then answered and explained by little kids. For example, is it better to be fast or to be slow? The "obvious answer" people would think in their heads would be fast, subliminally relating the question back to the mobile network. Would you rather have fast or slow phone service is what the question is really asking. I also like how the little girl explains why fast is better. It's very funny and cute and definitely attracts the audience’s attention.

“Is it better to be fast or slow?” “It’s better to be fast to not get bitten by a werewolf”

I can use this idea for my ad, personally, by taking the light mood and atmosphere the ad gives off and trying replicate that for my own. I think I should do this because breast cancer is a very serious subject that can make people want to just change the channel or look away. So, I think the best way to promote breast cancer awareness, is by looking through all the ways being aware can help save lives and shining that aspect in a positive light. Maybe, by showing a mom with her family on a bright summer day, and then stating that it was "because of you" (the fact that you walked, donated, etc.) that this mom is able to be happy, alive and with her family.

“The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow” Ever since I was a kid, I knew I was different. I could feel it, like a 6th sense, really. And I was reminded of it everywhere I went. Especially at school. “Hey slow poke, you’re making us lose!” the 3rd grade jock, David Shapaw, yelled at the end of the finish line of our recess “races” as I “ran”. Only I didn’t run. I knew I wasn’t fast. Or strong. Nor did I want to play any stupid sports. Sports were basic testosterone fights, regardless of how much it’s even fathomable to have at 8 years old, that’s what they were and continued to be. And frankly, I didn’t really care for any sort of fighting.

I always liked a more chill setting. I was always a pretty chill kid. Like, the highlight of most 8 year old boy’s lives are Saturday morning soccer practices with dad or getting the new Grand Theft Auto on Christmas morning. Well, not mine. My highlights were around 7 pm, every night, when I’d help my mom cook dinner as we sang along to the cd of the Broadway musical “Annie”. It was our definitely our favorite musical because we literally watched it a million times. We sang “THEEEE SUN’LL COME OUTTT, TOOOMORRROW” at the top of our lungs, as we danced

around the kitchen without a care in the freaking world. It was the best. And you know how some stuff just sticks to you as a k id? Like even if you were to ba sh your head super hard against a wall to a point where you basically forgot your own name, there’s some stuff that would still just stick? Well “the sun’ll come out tomorrow” was just one of those things that always stuck. They stuck when David Shapaw and the other kids made fun of me. They stuck when I sucked at sports. They stuck through at all, reminded me of my mother’s beautiful smile, and led me to believe that shit actually gets better. Eventually . Time went on, and middle school flew by, and my taste in music began to chang e due to a slight obsession with MTV. I discovered my one true role model, the queen of pop, Lady Gaga. S he wasn’t just the most talented vocalist and performer in the entire world, she was also a major advocate for just being yourself. And tha t’s how she won me over. So, I went into high school with that exact mentality. I was gonna be myself, and I was gonna find out the details of what that meant along the way, and the sun would shine brighter than ever. That wa s the plan. I put my right foot forward into the halls of Archbishop Molloy Hig h School, day one of freshman year, a nd realized my plan was a complete shit show. Archbishop Molloy was an all-boys, private, Catholic school that my mother insisted on sending me to. She was Catholic, which made me Catholic, I guess? I never really knew if that was a hereditary thing, but it seemed to be. So I went along with it, a nd it made her happy. And it’s not like Molloy was cheap, 10 grand a year times 4 years wa s like an infinite amount of Broadway tickets. But she said “cost was secondary when it came to my education, blah blah” so once I was accepted, that’s where I went.

High school wasn’t anything like I expected it to be though. Everything seemed so obnoxiously big. The lockers, the people… even the books, which guaranteed me scoliosis in a matter of months. And by the second week of school, all the guys had their cliques; Jocks, braniacs… even druggies. And I wasn’t even in the slightest bit athletic, or Einstein by any means, and I wasn’t about to start doing drugs at 14. I didn’t seem to fit in anywhere. So, I laid low, ate lunch alone in the bathroom stalls like a total loser and went straight home when the bell rang at 2 o’clock, every day. I’d do my homework, listen to Lady Gaga and blog. Blogging was my hobby, past time and talent.

I made a Tumblr in middle school, but never really used it until I got to Molloy. But it became my outlet. I would write for hours and hours, post endless amounts of pictures and follow anyone that even remotely interested me. Tumblr was the one place I felt I could truly be myself. I wrote about the kids at school, the ways I felt like I didn’t belong, and little did I know there were so many other people feeling the exact same way as I did. And so, that’s how I made friends. Friends from all over the world, with different backgrounds and situations who would write to me on a daily basis. It was weird when I thought about it. I had all these friends on a social network, and none in “real life”. But whatever, I didn’t mind, I loved my Tumblr.

Until one day, I got a follow from a guy that looked incredibly familiar. So, I clicked on his blog, obviously, and it turned out to be someone from my English class at school. His name was Julian Varis, and he was so so SO cute. Not that typical kind of cute either. The kind that was almost sweet, without him even ever saying a word to me. But I wanted him to talk to me. I wanted to know him. So, I thought to myself, why not make a friend on Tumblr that can also be my friend at school, you know? Someone I could eat lunch with, and hang out with during free period. It sounded like a good idea. So, feeling super ballsy, I messaged him “Hey! I think you’re in my English class? I’m Evan, what’s up?” and that’s where it all began. He responded seconds later as my heart raced, and we began to talk on a daily basis. Then an hourly basis. Then a “PUT THE LAPTOP DOWN AND COME EAT DINNER” basis. We talked all the time, about anything and everything. And after just a few weeks, Julian became the first person I came out to. I told him that I was gay, and that I liked him so so much, and I must’ve been the happiest person on the planet when he told me he felt the same way. So, our blogging continued, but we hadn’t really spoken in person. And I thought that was kinda weird.

So, one day, after English, I decided I would confront Julian and say “hey” and just “hey”, and so I did. I mean, if I could do it through a computer screen, how hard would it be in person? I came up behind him and poked his shoulder, as he was talking to his friends. “Hey Julian”, I said. I added his name to make it more personal. We were definitely on that level. He looked at me, then looked left, then looked right, and simply responded “Uh do I know you?” as his friends laughed. I couldn’t believe it. He pretended like he didn’t even know who I was. That’s such bullshit. You know who I am! We talk every day! Who are you trying to fool right now? So many thoughts rushed into my head. I was heartbroken. But, like always, I said to myself that “the sun will come out tomorrow” and turned over a new leaf when I walked into English class the next day.

Aka, I didn’t even look at him. Hmph. Take that, Julian. But for some reason, everyone was looking at me. Looking, pointing, whispering… some were even laughing. And I was confused, until I walked out of class and saw them. The pink pieces of paper, hung up everywhere of a conversation that never even existed. Julian printed out our messages, conveniently, those where I told him I was gay and liked him, and changed all of his responses to “you’re a faggot, stop messaging me, you’re harassing me, I don’t want to talk to you, leave me alone”, and hung them up in every hallway of our school. I guess our 15 second encounter the day before made his “friends” question his sexuality? I mean, obviously if another guy says “hey” to you, you’re gay, right? What the hell. Tears poured down my face as I felt everyone stare at me and judge. I had come out to my entire school without even trying. Yay me.

I was called into the principal’s office soon after. I soon found out that the principal was a brother and that the vice principal was a nun... I was on a roll today, clearly. Brother Shady and Sister Demona sat me down as I wiped the tears from my eyes. I kinda just expected them to be like “Don’t worry hun, everything’s going to be fine. Julian will be expelled and you will live happily ever after.

The end. Here’s a cookie for your troubles.” Or something along those lines. However, that day, I was given a full lecture as to what it means to be “gay” in the Catholic Church. They told me that if it was in fact true that I was gay, it was a sin in God’s eyes and that it was against the bible’s teachings indefinitely. They also told me that, luckily, I could be saved if I got some treatment and spoke to a psychologist, along with praying on a daily basis and going to church while begging God to save me. I was clearly blessed, look at all the options I had to save myself for being born gay!

I sat there and thought about everything my mother had told me growing up. “God loves all his children” was the main thing. Yeah. Okay. If that was true, why the hell was I being condemned for who I am if God made me this way and supposedly loves me oh so much? Nothing made sense and I hated everyone. I went home that day, and every day that month, and locked myself in my room. I cried for endless hours. The sun was 100% not going to be coming up tomorrow, or any other day. All I could feel was darkness and the pain that asshole Julian had caused me. I started thinking about death, and how much easier things would be if I weren’t around. I thought about suicide, over and over. How, when… That’s when I had so many options. But I wanted quick, and with as little pain as possible since my 0 pain tolerance and pussy-ness would literally follow me to my grave. I was excited for it actually. Not dying exactly. Just for the pain, judgment, and hurt to stop. Just so I wouldn’t have to see Julian’s backstabbing ugly face every day. I would be better off dead.

So I wrote the typical letter to my mother, explaining and apologizing for what I was about to do. I told her I loved her, and that she was not at fault. I told her I couldn’t do it anymore. I also wrote a final goodbye to my Tumblr followers, and said if there was a heaven, I would blog from above. But I didn’t wait for any of them to respond. I didn’t wait for anything. I wrote it, closed my laptop, and took my final steps to the bathroom. My hands shook as I reached into the medicine cabinet, and took 23 pain killers out of the container. I had them palmed, with tears rushing down my face and the letter to my mother next to me. I managed to fit them all in my mouth, when I heard the bathroom door creep open. It was my mother. Her eyes widened when she saw me, and so did my mouth, allowing 23 pills to fall onto the bathroom floor. She ran to me as I collapsed into her arms, and she held me so tightly.

The sun finally came.


The LGBT community has always been a topic of discussion that has fascinated me. Mainly because I find it mind boggling how people can judge someone so crudely solely based on their sexual orientation, rather than based on who they are as an individual. By attending the LGBT club meeting today, I came to the realization that people judge too quickly and base their judgment on the wrong things. If people were to keep an open mind, they'd realize that homosexuals are people, just like everyone else.

Although, being a heterosexual female, I am not a part of the LGBT community, the members still welcomed me into the club with open arms. When I told them I was only there to observe and support my friend, they smiled. All the members and leaders went around in a circle and introduced themselves. We stated who we are, our names, our majors and a TV show we love. Everyone was full of enthusiasm and the room emanated positive energy.

All of the members were all so friendly, constantly complimenting one another and laughing with people they had just met in the past hour. Their positivity is something that I felt rub off on me today, and something I wanted to share with the rest of the world when I walked out. How can a group of people that has faced so much discrimination still manage to remain so welcoming and positive? Do they still face discrimination at the University at Buffalo? Is that why they join the LGBT club, to connect with others who feel the same way?

Dear Reader,

I’m a freshman at the University changing my thesis from “Can at Buffalo and I am currently the LGBT club actually allow the taking English 101. During this people of this community as a semester we have had three whole to stand together and major writing assignments which fight for a mutual right of are: an ethnography essay, a equality?” to “Why is the LGBT rhetorical analysis essay and an club a safe haven for the op-ed essay. For my portfolio, I members of its community, as have chosen to substantially oppose to the rest of the revise my ethnography university and society as a “Rainbow” and do a genre whole?”. I think this thesis will change on my rhetorical analysis be easier to work with because “Love Is Love.” it is more specific than the My original ethnography titled original and it will help narrow “Rainbow” was about the LGBT down my observations. I believe club at the University at Buffalo. that now I have a better I chose to substantially revise understanding of what an this essay because it was my ethnography is and what I need lowest grade on an assignment. I to do, therefore making this felt that since it was our first assignment easier than the first. assignment, I have grown I also believe I have grown as a tremendously as a writer since writer and have improved at then and I could significantly analyzing texts throughout this improve this essay the most out course, since my grades have of all the essays I have written. I progressively gotten better. began my substantial revision by reading over my final draft of my ethnography and reviewing my professor’s comments. I realized that I had written more of a summary about my experience at the LGBT club, rather than analyzing the evidence I had gathered and writing an ethnography. I also realized that my thesis was not clear nor specific enough to analyze and eventually prove. So, I began by

Aside from changing my thesis, I also changed my title from “Rainbow” to “BE YOURSELF: So why are you judging me?” because I thought “Rainbow” was too typical and I wanted to be more original. To start off substantially revising the context of my essay, I went back to the LGBT club and interviewed some of the same members and some new members as well. I asked more questions based on my new thesis that revolved around the club being a safe haven as oppose to the outside world. I asked things such as why they see the club as a community, why it’s their safe haven, why the outside world isn’t seen as a safe haven to them and if the activities incorporate into why they view the club as safe. As my professor suggested, I will back up my claims with more evidence this time, focus more on the implications that the club is a safe haven and that the university as a whole is not, despite how it boasts about its cultural diversity. When I went back and re-read my original,

I found that I liked my introduction and my conclusion, so I will keep them for the most part in my substantial revision paper. I liked how my conclusion brought my paper as a whole back to a bigger picture of gay rights and the fight for equality. However, I will change my body completely and also the context of the entire essay. My ethnography was originally a personal narrative about my day at the LGBT club, but I now believe that with my new thesis and skills I will be able to create an actual ethnographic study on the safe haven that is the LGBT club.

The second assignment I picked was my rhetorical analysis of Macklemore’s hit song “Same Love” that was recorded for Washington Referendum 74 which legalized same sex marriage in Washington State. I chose to do a genre change for this because I felt I could easily transform the essay into a short story due to having taken a prior creative writing class in high school. I began by googling LGBT short stories and reading through a few of them to get ideas of what my story could be about. I then went back to Macklemore’s original lyrics in “Same Love” and realized that through his verses, he is also

He raps about a boy in the 3rd grade thinking that he could possibly be gay and that’s what I started my short story off with. Unlike Macklemore, however, I continued to tell the story of this little boy’s life and how he dealt with his homosexuality. Macklemore also raps about bigger issues that relate to homosexuality, such as people throwing around terms like “gay” or “faggot” to describe something stupid. He also raps about how homosexuals are viewed from a religious perspective, and how the fight for equality lives on to this day. I incorporated these bigger pictures within my story by having the boy go to a catholic high school and having religious people condemn him for who he is. I also used the lyrics in how the boy was bullied throughout his life and how words like “faggot” were used against him. I also wrote my story from a teenager’s perspective, so it’d be as if the boy was telling his life story after reaching age 15 or 16. I did this by using language an everyday teenager would use, such as sarcastic comments or humorous tones. My rhetorical analysis was me talking a song and analyzing its lyrics for meanings, and now, in transforming it into a short story for my genre change, I have incorporated the meanings of the lyrics into a creative writing assignment.

I truly believe that, with the help of my professor, I have almost perfected my skills in writing, analysis, grammar and closed reading. I think I have come a long way since my first assignment, and I believe that these 2 essays will show that completely. Changing a whole paper was not easy, but I believe I accomplished my goals in my substantial revision of my ethnography and, as a result, made the paper significantly better. I believe I transformed it from a summary to an ethnographic analysis with the skills I developed throughout this course. I also believe through my improved analyzing skills, I managed to take simple song lyrics and create a person’s world in a short story by including them directly, and also indirectly through their meanings of larger world issues. My writing technique and time management skills have gotten a lot better since the beginning of English 101 and I believe I will be able to use both of these improved skills I now have throughout my entire college career.


Editor in Chief Of Rainbow


Lgbt Magazine

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