after deployments end, new stresses begin. Things do not go back to the way they were before. People change from deployment. “We see a lot of adjustment disorders caused from a stressor. Some kids might not have a behavioral disorder, but their behavioral problems are a result of these difficulties adjusting. Even infants and toddlers can have difficulties adjusting to a new move and a deployment.” - Dr. Delano, clinical director, school behavioral health, Child and Family Assistance Center, Evans Army Community Hospital
Reintegration to Family Life
When my husband returned home from his most recent deployment, I saw the adjustment that he went through. His was brief and mostly without note, but he is much older than the families with whom I consult and he has been in for a while and has been through a number of deployments (although that is no guarantee that service members are good at handling them). But many younger military families may not yet have learned how to safely and healthily manage it all. Further, they may be dealing with emotional and physical traumas caused from previous service overseas. This is another factor that we need to be aware of if we are consulting a family who has a service member recently returned from deployment. „The first day back is just a fairy tale, of course. And then you have to start trying to put yourself back into the life of your family.‰ -1st Lt. Jeremiah Lynch
Bonds That Change
Dad or mom comes home, once again. He or she has had four deployments. The kids and pets are growing and changing while their parents are away. Now they are older and they may have lost touch with their mom or dad. A lot military homes struggle with this aspect. Essentially, they are all getting to know a stranger who has been in and out of their lives. Even infants can be fearful when they are first introduced to the redeployed parent, especially if it is for the first time. The family dog can also have a tough time “meeting” mom or dad again after not seeing them for a year or more. Pets and children need help reconnecting after deployments too.
„Even infants and toddlers can have difficulties adjusting to a new move and a deployment.‰ - Dr. Delano, clinical director, Child and Family Assistance Center
Transitions in life come with setbacks. These can create stress that quickly overwhelm the parents, children and animals in the home. When one (or more) family members become overwhelmed, the perfect storm is brewing. Being overwhelmed can lead to inattention in certain aspects of the family’s lives – and it often is manifested in how the relationship between pets and children is managed. As consultants, we see the lack of fully
CONSULTING
awake adult supervision in its dangerous effects all too often. And sadly, unless we are able to calm the storm, everyone ends up suffering in the long run. Being aware of the many conditions that create stress in the home is imperative. Once Military families face a host we are aware of of stressors - departing for deployment being just them, we can one of them better recognize the multitude of “stress currents” below the surface. Becoming aware of these unique challenges allows us to provide professional support and compassionate guidance in home consultations with our military families. n This is Part One of a two-part feature
References
Military Child Education Coalition: Military-Connected Students and Public School Attendance Policies. Retrieved from www .militarychild.org/public/upload/files/SchoolAttendancePoliciesFINAL.pdf Amy Martin owns and solely operates Conscious Companion®, www.consciouscompanion.com/my-background.html, serves on the board of directors of the Cape Fear Parrot Sanctuary, www.capefearparrotsanctuary.org and is a member of the advisory team for Family Paws Parent Education, www.familypaws.com. When she is not consulting, writing, or educating the public through workshops, she teaches Wetland Ecology (B-WET) in the field for Prince William County Middle Schools, and is a Make-A-Wish granter for the Mid- Atlantic Chapter.
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