Private Posts
Pattaya Today 21
Vol. 9 No. 08 1 - 15 January 2010
by Kris & Noi Do you have a question about customs, culture or life in Thailand? Send it to Kris & Noi at: PTPrivatePosts@yahoo.com
Dear Kris & Noi, I am a relative newcomer to Thailand and, since moving to Pattaya, I have learned a great deal from your column about Thai people and customs. Thank you for that important service. Now for my question; I have a Thai girlfriend who has been living with me for about a month. We met while I was here on vacation a year ago. Anyway, her mother (who I’d never met previously), came to stay with us last weekend and as she was preparing to return to Buriram, we all said our goodbyes, then she spoke in Thai to her daughter. My girlfriend then asked me if I could give her mother 5,000 baht,
with no explanation as to why or what for. Taken aback, I instinctively withdrew the money from my wallet. My girlfriend handed it to her mother, who proceeded to walk out without a word. That is, no smile of appreciation, no words of thanks or gratitude, nothing. Is that common? Personally, I felt slighted (not to mention used). Her actions endorsed the reputation of farang being seen as nothing more than walking ATMs. Marvin It could have been a genuine request, made at the last moment out of shyness with a foreign stranger, but most likely it was a blatant handout demand. Certainly some Thai families do look upon a girl’s farang boyfriend as an easy take, grabbing as much as possible before he disappears, and you appear to have met a prime example with Buriram Mum. As she stayed for
the weekend, the matter could have been raised earlier, with your girlfriend explaining it, instead of being sprung upon you at the last moment. Until you get to know your girlfriend better, you should be careful about your spending, don’t just give freely to any demand, especially regarding her family. This is not to denigrate the girl at all— until you are better acquainted just treat your relationship as you surely would with a girl from your home country. Most expats, once they have settled into a Thai family and they have all got to know each other better, lose the money machine tag. Regarding the lack of gratitude shown, try not to feel offended, as you will come across this a lot, especially with rural people. For some reason or other, they find it hard to show appreciation; we feel that it is often down to being shy in showing feelings,
particularly to a foreigner, and not knowing whether they should or not, or even what is proper. You will find that, as you become closer to a family, they will show their feelings more openly to you. Dear Kris & Noi, I have seen more tattoos on large western men and small foxy Thai chicks than I have ever seen. I have seen more silicone implants on feisty young bar girls and quite a few Thai “blokes” than ever before; this place really does work hard at bombarding the senses! Apocalypse Tattoos do seem to be more popular than ever amongst expats—possibly because they are accepted here whereas they would be frowned upon back home— and service girls. Knockers are swelling like never before amongst normally small-breasted Thais, not only due to implants, but
also with lifelike boobboosting bras; but Thai bodies are becoming fleshier too. Dear Kris & Noi, There may not be so many tourists coming this season, but there are plenty of two-week millionaires out and about already, spoiling the scene for everyone else again. Already I’ve seen idiots throwing money around on dancers and bar girls, buying drinks for whole groups of them and giving huge tips. They are also paying hugely inflated prices for short and long times. If only these people would read about Pattaya before they come, they would know the correct prices to pay for the girls, and wouldn’t be buying lady drinks for any girl who hangs around or even just smiles at them. Now, when they have left, we regulars will be facing greedy girls who expect crazy high prices. They don’t deserve any more than the regular fee, as it isn’t exactly hard work, or too demanding on their brains. Bodger
High-spending tourists have been coming here for many years and rates for service girls haven’t really increased much, so your argument, like most whinges about girly fees, doesn’t hold water. Despite the usual claims about the stupidity of the girls, they obviously have a far better grasp of the market than many expats. They, quite rightly, want to earn as much as possible when renting out their bodies, so they enjoy meeting big spenders and making the most of their time with them. They also accept that, once the tourists have left, they will have to settle for the regular fees, as well as the cheapos who like to boast on web sites about how they got a girl for the cheapest price, as if it’s something to be proud of. If a man is spending his own money it isn’t any business whatsoever of other expats as to how much of it he lavishes on booze and birds. What next—are you going to tell people not to buy expensive drinks, or only stay at cheap hotels?