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PENINSULA PROFILE
SUNDAY, JUNE 17, 2012
PENINSULA DAILY NEWS
Husband considers cheating on his wife DEAR JOHN: I’VE been married for 18 years to a wonderful, loving, caring woman. Recently, I have been flirting more heavily with my best friend’s wife. The two of us have decided that we want to involve ourselves in a sexual relationship, but all I can think about is ruining the lives of my wife and my friend. What should I do? My feelings for this woman are almost that of being in love. Please shed some light on my situation. — Bad Husband in Denver Dear Bad Husband:
you’ve allowed to get out of hand. But the fact that you feel this attraction for each other does not make your behavior OK. My advice is that you both understand this attraction, accept that it John Gray exists and walk away from it. You won’t be the first happily married people to Mature adults know that resist an attraction that every impulse they feel in you feel for a partner other life is not one that they than your spouse. necessarily must act upon. Then again, if you follow For example, if the bank up on it, just think of the teller turns his back on a consequences: You’ll lose pile of dollar bills, you your wife’s trust and permight feel the impulse to haps her love. Three friendtake a few off the top, but ships will be broken: the that does not make it right. one between you with your Both of you have been friend, the one between enjoying a flirtation that your wives and the one
Mars vs.
Venus
between you and his wife, because believe me, both of you will blame each other and yourselves for what you’ve lost. Rejoice in the blessings of a good marriage, and don’t turn away from the happiness you have known.
screen, and sometimes he gives me replies unrelated to our conversation. Is it polite to carry on other conversations when I have asked specifically for him not to do so? — Chat Brat in Jacksonville, Fla.
Chat etiquette
Dear Chat Brat: Online chats lend themDear John: A guy I selves to “multi-tasking� — met online and I have had doing more than one thing a love/hate relationship at a time. That includes whenever we chat online, chatting online simultanebut we enjoy each other’s ously with two or more company and can chat for people. hours at a time. However, if he’s made a However, sometimes he promise not to chat with carries on other conversaothers then broken that tions while we are online. This irritates me! It’s as if I promise, you, of course, am talking to a blank don’t have to take his chat
request when he comes online. He’ll quickly learn to respect your request in the future or lose you as a chat partner altogether. If the real issue is that you’re looking for him to give you his undivided attention, try making a phone date — or better yet, a real date. Despite the wonders of technology, the best conversations will always happen face-to-face.
_______ John Gray is the author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com.
6-year-old niece seems Arnold: Students show obsessed with make-up change in their attitudes MY BROTHER’S 6-YEAR-OLD daughter is allowed to wear make-up, including eye shadow, liner and mascara, almost every day. She does not wear it to school but as soon as she gets home, she puts it on. Since he and his wife currently are separated and not living in the same house, he thinks the topic is off limits. She desperately wants to be a teenager and is already talking about falling in love. Her mom thinks it’s cute. Isn’t this setting up major challenges in the near future for all of them? Is it appropriate to comment on the situation? If so, what should I say?
where, like the store, outside or other activities, to enhance her outwardly beauty. For example, if she is visiting her dad or other family members and insists on applying make-up before doing anything or Jodie Lynn going anywhere else, it may become a learned habit that might not be easily kept under control create a challenge later. — Juanita P. as she gets older. However, instead of lecin San Francisco turing her on something that relatively is harmless From Jodie at the current time, think Girls as young as 2 and about purchasing a couple 3 years old become curious of books that tell a story about the wonderful world about how real beauty is of colors, smells, textures truly on the inside. and even tastes of things It will be better received that their mom, older sibif it features a girl around lings and others put on her age. their skin. Playing with make-up is Can you help? San Francisco mom one of the ways children I am having my first If your niece is only get an opportunity to baby soon and was wonderwearing make-up when she explore some of these senis not in school, maybe you sations and emulate people ing if there are any guideare the one that has a per- that they admire. It sounds lines to choosing the right pediatrician? sonal problem with it. as if she is trying to perMy friends seem to be Most little girls like to haps mimic a teenage babfull of advice, but they also play with make-up. My ysitter or some other indido not agree on what is 8-year-old twins love to try vidual that she watches important. out various products I apply make-up and playThis is the first grandbring home. Of course, they fully shares some with her. don’t spend much time On the other hand, one of child in the family on both sides so both set of our parwith it, and they do not do the potential challenges it everyday. might be if she is groomed to ents are letting us handle choosing the doctor. As long as it does not believe that make-up is a become an obsession, it is necessity that she has to _______ probably not really going to have on before going someJodie Lynn shares parenting
Parent to Parent
May we help? arrive 10 days before publication. Q Hand-deliver it to any of our news offices at 305 W. First St., Port Angeles; 1939 E. Sims Way, Port Townsend; or 147-B W. Washington St., Sequim, by 10 days before publication. Photos are always welcome. If you’re e-mailing a photo, be sure it is at least 150 dots per inch resolution. Questions? Features Editor Diane Urbani de la Paz, who is editor of Peninsula Profile, can be reached at 360452-2345, ext. 5062, weekdays or at diane.urbani@peninsula dailynews.com.
JUNE SPECIAL %
50OFF
CUT & COLOR
Steppin’Out Salon
Weddings, anniversaries
Details of the wedding, engagement or anniversary can be listed on a form available in person at any of the Peninsula Daily News offices (see above), or by phoning 360-452-2345, ext. 5252 or ext. 5250.
71285884
Anniversaries: Peninsula Profile publishes articles about couples celebrating their 25th or 50th wedding anniversary. For anniversaries of 50
‘
years or longer, then-and-now photographs of the couple are accepted along with information. The photos will be returned.
5th Annual Spring Recital
Seasons of Dance
ing in 2010. Then, in the 2011-2012 school year, Renker and her school won an inaugural grant from the Washington Science, Technology Engineering and Mathematics — STEM — Foundation. This caught the attention of People magazine. The magazine sent a team of journalists out to Neah Bay to highlight Arnold and his students — and there they all are in the April 23 issue of People, alongside the cover story about “Dancing with the Stars� heartthrob William Levy and a spread on Ricki Lake’s wedding. The magazine hails Arnold’s energetic teaching style, as well as his other tactics. This past spring, Arnold made a promise to cut off his shoulder-length, Justin Bieber-like hair — make that shave his head — if 60 percent of his students passed the state science test.
64 percent Sixty-four percent passed, and Arnold shed his shiny black locks. They grew back in time, fortunately, for the People photos and story, which served as a cornerstone for the magazine’s Teacher of the Year contest. Nominations are being accepted through July 2 at People. com/teacherofyear; the magazine is looking for “the country’s most dedicated, successful teachers� and will award $5,000 to the educator and his or her school. As for Arnold, he’s inclined to put the emphasis back on Neah Bay’s teenagers and their progress. “The best thing to watch is the growth,� he says, “to watch them come in unfocused, and then leave as focused, responsible students.� This year was a triumphant one for the school on another level: the Red Devils football team won the state championship. TURN
TO
ARNOLD/3
featuring the music of Vivaldi
-XQH ‡ S P
TONNI PETTY
Weddings and engagements: Nuptial announcements about North Olympic Peninsula residents appear Sundays in Peninsula Profile. Please submit wedding information within two months following the wedding ceremony. Photos will be returned.
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Peninsula Profile, which appears Sundays in the Peninsula Daily News, welcomes items about coming North Olympic Peninsula events of general interest. Sending information is easy: Q E-mail it to news@ peninsuladailynews.com in time to arrive 10 days before Friday publication. Q Fax it to 360-417-3521 no later than 10 days before publication. Q Mail it to Peninsula Profile, P.O. Box 1330, Port Angeles, WA 98362 in time to
CONTINUED FROM 1 see he’s the real deal: a man who brings to his proThompson, 18, is getting fession an effective mix of resolve, humor and humilready to move to Seattle, ity. where she’ll major in preBut he doesn’t take dentistry at UW. Her classmates also are preparing to credit for the successes of 2012. depart: Titus Pascua and “I just work here,� Holly Lucas for Pacific Arnold says with a straight Lutheran University in face. Tacoma; Mike Dulik for It’s Neah Bay High Washington State UniverSchool as a whole, he says, sity, Bonnie Alonzo for that has turned students Eastern Washington Uniaround. Principal Ann Renversity, Shantelle Kallapa ker and Cape Flattery for Northwest University School District Superintenand class valedictorian dent Kandy Ritter, with Crysandra Sones for the their faculty and staff, University of Oregon. share one vision. It’s about But these seniors high expectations and weren’t always so exemplary. Back when they were about doing whatever it takes to inspire one stufreshmen, Arnold rememdent at a time. bers, they seemed so apathetic, so disorganized, that Daily work he felt like throwing up his hands. Together, they work Arnold let his students from the growth mind set, know exactly how he was an approach that praises feeling. You’re not living up students not only for talent to your potential, he told but also for effort and perthem. Keep this up, and severance. Instead of tellyou might just squander ing a youngster, “Come on, the future. you’re smart,� these educaThe following year, the tors highlight hard work — students began to change. and they get in there and As sophomores, Arnold do it, day after day. recalls, they brought a new “We are very, very energy to their work. That lucky,� says Renker, “to has been building, year by have a lot of superstar year, he says, until the teachers who spend countclass of 2012 emerged with less hours off the clock� a fierce focus. tips through her weekly column. helping with homework Write her at Parent to Parent, This may sound a bit and taking students on 2464 Taylor Road, Suite 131, Wild- like a fairy tale, like one of trips to college campuses. wood, MO 63040 or direct2contact those Hollywood movies “Our staff comes @parenttoparent.com via e-mail. together,� she adds, “and Tips and questions can also be about the heroic high school teacher. But watch sent through the contact form at has a common philosophy ParentToParent.com. Arnold in action, and you about high expectations.� The results are coming in. Neah Bay’s state test “So don’t be afraid to let them show, scores have climbed your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow� steadily. In 2005, the year Renker became principal, just 21.7 percent of sophomores passed the writing assessments. In 2010, 100 percent passed. On the reading test, Stylist chairs open Jennifer 60.9 percent passed in Kyle Nail tech position also 2005; in 2010, 95 percent passed. In science, the percentage rose from zero in 125 W. First St. Port Angeles 417-8828 2005 to 55.6 percent pass-
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