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NAUGHT Y GEO RGE


NAUGHT Y GEO RGE

A Po p J u s t i c e B o o k I l l u s t ra te d by P e a r s e O’S h e a

POP JUSTICE


F i r s t p u b l i s h e d i n g r e a t B r i t a i n i n 2 0 0 9 by R u b b e r B o o t s A n i m p r i n t o f T h e To o t y B o o t y p r o j e c t 3 4 O a k p a r k , L o n d o n , S W1H - 078 w w w. r u b b e r b o o t s .c o m w w w.t o o t y b o o t y.o r g Tex t c o py r i g h t P e a r s e O ’S h e a 2 0 0 9 I l l u s t r a t i o n s c o py r i g h t P e a r s e O ’S h e a 2 0 0 9 I S B N - 10 1 9 8 8 8 8 3 3 477 8 I S B N - 13 2 37373 94 8 3 8 8 All rights reser ved. No par t of this publication may be reproduced or transmit ted in any form or by any m e a n s , e l e c t r o n i c a l l y o r m e c h a n i c a l l y, i n c l u d i n g photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system, without either prior permission in writing from the publisher or a license permitting restricted copying. Smoke signals and semaphore, h oweve r, a r e p e r f e c t l y a c c e pta b l e m e d i a by w h i c h you may copy this book. In the United Kingdom such licenses are issued by the Copyright Licensing A g e n c y, 9 0 T o t t e n h a m C o u r t R o a d , L o n d o n , W 1T 4 L P British Librar y Cataloguing in Publication Data A c a t a l o g u e r e c o r d f o r t h i s b o o k i s a va i l a b l e from the British Librar y D e s i g n e d a n d p r o d u c e d by P e a r s e O ’S h e a w w w. p e a r s e.c o m T h e P u b l i s h e r ’s p o l i c y i s t o u s e p a p e r f r o m t h e m o s t v u l n e r a b l e a n d s a c r e d t r e e s k n ow n t o m a n


rs __ yea _ m a I

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H ere i s G e org e. G e org e m akes lot s of m on ey from all th e mu s ic h e m akes. S om e p e op l e even th ink thi s mu s ic i s g ood! Loa d s of p e op l e re ally res p e ct G e org e. Th ey th ink h e i s re ally intelli g ent.


B ut th i s d o es n’t s top G e org e from b eing ver y nau g ht y! H ere are ju s t som e of th e nau g ht y th ing s h e ha s d on e.


POST O


O n e tim e G e org e wa s in C ali forn i a p er form ing h i s mu s ic for h i s Am erican fans. D u ring on e of h i s even ing walks G e org e n e e d e d to u se a pub lic to il et. A m an fo llowe d G e org e into th e to il et. H e a ske d G e org e to show h im h i s willy. George thought this was a really great idea and showed the man his penis.


But it wasn’t a good idea because the man was actually a police of ficer! The police officer had the job of catching men showing eachother their willies in toilets. H e arres te d G e org e. Th e C ali forn i an p o lic e fin e d G e org e a m a s s ive $810 and to l d h im not to do it a g ain. People were shocked when they heard what George had done. But it was ok because George made a funny video that showed police men dancing and kissing in a toilet a few weeks later.


LARD


Naught y George wasn’t finished yet though. A few years later, British police caught George smoking cannabis in his car. The Police didn’t like that George was smoking cannabis in his car but they didn’t want to arrest him like the Californian Police did. Af ter all, he might make a video of them dancing and kissing in a toilet!


DO NOT CROSS

DO NOT CROSS

DO NOT CROSS

DO NOT CROSS


George said it was “his own stupid fault... As usual” but people generally agreed it was because he was massively stoned. A few months later, a member of the public found George sleeping in a jeep. George was ver y sweat y and was pulling ver y strange faces. This was because George was smoking cra ck! Lot s and lot s of lovely cra ck! S oon enou gh a p hoto “jou rnali s t ” from th e D aily M ail and took lot s of fu n ny p hotog rap hs of G e org e. George got scared and drove away quickly.


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Into a traffic bollard! NICE!


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When he finally got home George crashed into three cars on the road outside his house. Luckily George and his enormous SUV escaped unharmed. Some people got very angry with George. Others thought that people were being too hard on him. Former WHAM! bandmate Andrew Ridgley said, “If you think that’s bad you should see him when he’s drunk!”


X XX


But George is a creature of habit and just after the newspapers were getting over his car crash escapade the police caught him in his jeep with his two favourite things. Hash and crack! Naughty!


The police took George’s car away from him. Now George had to find somewhere else to smoke his Class A drugs. But where in the world could a multi millionaire pop star go to do that?


George went to a public toilet in Harlesden! Of course! Where else!? Af ter all a public toilet has eve r y t h i n g yo u n e e d - d r i n k i n g w a t e r, p a p e r t o d r a w o n , a n air conditioner and a machine that sells mints and balloons! But the Police were too smar t for George and just when he was really star ting to enjoy his drugs they burst in and arrested him! Wh en p e op l e h e ard ab out what G e org e ha d b e en d o ing in th e to il et s th ey sai d h e wa s ju st taking th e p i s s. O th er s thou ght h e wa s fu ll of s h it.


POLICE


George has probably done other ver y bad things (not including his latest music recordings) but until cour t proceedings come to a close we can’t legally discuss the dissappearance of t wo male escor ts in the Cricklewood area or the hit and run of an Australian couple in the Yorkshire Dales.


And there it is! The stor y of Naught y George, the naughtiest pop star in all of England. (who is not currently ser ving a sentence for kidnapping or b eing p ros e cute d by th e nation of Vietnam)


Naughty George  

George is a very naughty boy. Here are just some of the naughty things he has done!

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