So you’re sitting in class, wrestling with some legal concept of labyrinthine complexity, and some asshole interrupts the professor with a pointless question. And then, the next time you want to ask a question, you’re about to raise your hand—but then you stop. You wonder…if I were to ask, would I become that guy? Well your problems are over! From now on, when you have a question, use this simple worksheet, and follow its advice… 1. Have you done the reading? No Go to 4
Yes Go to 8
2. Well check already! It’s ThereGo to 4
Not There Go to 10
3. Could your question be answered by a quick, simple Google search? Yes Go to 12 No Go to 7 4. ***ASKING=DOUCHE BAG ALERT*** STFU!!! (If you really must ask, wait for office hours) 5. Are any of those tabs porn? Yes Go to 4. And stop watching porn in class!
No Go to 3
6. Is your question relevant to the topic currently being discussed and to other people in the class? I’m just curious, what if the tortfeasor is a drunken schizophrenic in the care of the state who owns a trained zebra in an open range state with no dram shop laws following the ALI rule of contributory negligence? Go to 4 Yes Go to 13 7. Are you actually confused about or not understanding something? a) I have to say something now so I don’t get cold called later… b) I’m not, but I bet my classmates are confused and too shy to ask themselves. c) This question will show how smart and prepared I am! A, B, and/or C Go to 4 None of the above Go to 11 8. Have you double checked that the answer is not in the book? NoGo to 2 Yes Go to 10 10. Have you been paying attention for at least the last 10 minutes? NoGo to 4 YesReally? How many tabs/gchats are open in your browser? More than 5 Go to 4 Less than 5 Go to 5 11. Will your question take more than thirty seconds to ask and/or require the professor to repeat everything he/she has said in the past 20 minutes? Yes Go to 4 No Go to 6 12. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=stfu 13. YOU MAY ASK!!!