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One Pattaya

Fun Town’s most vibrant

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1 - 15 January 2011 Issue 7

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inside this issue % A Soi full of losers,

or the next big thing? % Alcohol is your friend % Proud to be an Onanist % Thailand’s Korean disaster

Keep your hands on your family jewels

Foreign Gold Snatcher in pattaya Urban Myth No More By Staff Writers

Gary Albert, a British resident in Pattaya on holiday. He told Pattaya One: “I had just crossed Second Road near Central at 9:00pm one evening, and passed a group of Russian men and women standing on the road looking like they were waiting for a break in the traffic to cross, in the opposite direction to me, or maybe they were waiting for a taxi.” Albert continued, “Suddenly I heard a shout. I turned round and saw one of the women holding her neck, and a motorbike speeding away, with a white foreigner as the passenger. He had a helmet on, but his arms were white. He had jeans and a white T shirt on, and looked smart, not like a junkie. I didn’t get a look at the rider, but he wore dark clothing. They almost lost control of the bike as they sped off up Second Road, and by the time everyone had reacted to it, they were out of sight. I was really shocked.”

“The Russian guys were going crazy, shouting and running up the road a little way, but the robbers had disappeared. The women in the group were very upset, and nobody could believe it,” he added. “I hung around for a few minutes to see if anything would happen, but nothing seemed to be, so I went on my way.” Mr Albert asked, “I just wonder has anyone else reported a foreigner gold snatcher in Pattaya or is this a one-off?” It does not appear to be a one-off.

Second Incident Pattaya One interviewed another witness to a brazen gold snatch incident where the perpetrators were claimed to be white foreigners.


In recent times the blogosphere has been home to reports of a twist in the usual tale of Thais snatching gold necklaces from unwitting persons on the Pattaya streets. These reports claimed there are a couple of foreigners stealing gold necklaces by way of the usual Thai-style snatch and grab from a motorbike. Initially dismissed as urban myths, some witnesses have now come forward to give veracity to these reports. Pattaya One has been in contact with two people who were present when separate robberies occurred at the hands of these mystery foreign thieves. Based on these witness accounts it is possible there is more than one couple engaged in the snatch and grab caper. In both cases, except for the colour of the robber’s skin, it cannot be conclusively determined they were the same people. A robbery was witnessed in early December by

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John, a longtime Pattaya resident, told us: “I was sitting on a baht bus with my wife recently, travelling up Naklua Road, in the middle of the afternoon. The bus had foreigners and Thais on it, including a German man, who I hadn’t even noticed was wearing a gold chain. As we stopped to pickup passengers, a motorbike pulled up alongside the baht bus, with two men on it, both wearing helmets. The man riding pillion reached inside and grabbed the gold chain from around the German’s neck,

and sped off. The shocked German started shouting that he’d been robbed.” “The guy’s girlfriend was sitting opposite him with two other Thais, who must have had a very clear view of the men.” John continued. “They were convinced the robber, who was riding pillion, and the rider were both white foreigners.” John said, “The girlfriend at first thought the robber knew her boyfriend, and had stopped to tap him on the shoulder to say ‘hello’. She was so shocked because it was such

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a brazen theft in broad daylight on a busy road. None of the Thais on the baht bus could believe it either. The guy’s holiday was ruined, and he lost his gold. How many times does this have to happen before people learn that you shouldn’t wear gold in Pattaya?” The answer John seems to be ‘a lot more’. Many people seem to have the feeling of ‘it won’t happen to me’ yet these incidents occur almost daily. Mind you, the locals tend to stick to the script and it’s Thais doing the robbing and snatching and not foreigners, as this is not something for which a foreign person can obtain a work permit.

Too much temptation Flippancy aside, Pattaya One reporters have noticed this high season many male tourists, particularly men from the Persian Gulf and Middle Eastern countries, are wearing large gold necklaces, even at night as they sit on Beach Road chatting to the girls. Given the ease with which gold jewelry can be pawned, and the very good price it brings for even small chains, our advice to readers is not to wear gold in Pattaya this high season. If you do, be extra vigilant because it isn’t just Thai teens on motorbikes who will have

1 - 15 January 2011 Issue 7 it away. There won’t be much fun in Fun Town after that. It was only a decade or so ago that Thai females stopped openly displaying their gold on the streets of Pattaya. Girls would wear chunks of the shiny metal to show off their ‘wealth’, but as the value of the ore rose so too did the chances of them being robbed. Nowadays, you never see a Thai female wandering about the streets with enough gold to keep Fort Knox busy for a week. Tourists and others should take heed of the example of the locals and keep their valuables under lock and key at home, where professional burglars, rather than itinerant locals or foreigners, can at least avail themselves of the goodies. If you are the victim of any sort of street crime in Pattaya, we would suggest you call the Tourist Police emergency number (1155), although the chances of them being able to find your gold or stolen property is fairly limited without clearer descriptions of the thief or thieves. The best advice in terms of a robbery by a person or persons on a motorbike is to try and at least get the number plate. Forget the Thai script, but at least get the numerals and colour of the bike.

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Fun Town’s most vibrant

Mother surprised to find daughter used as apprentice prostitute

What is the world coming to when you cannot trust a Beach Road prostitute A 32-year-old mother of a 12-yearold daughter was shocked and surprised to find that her friend, a 33-year-old prostitute named Khun Oorai, had managed to lure her child into the sex trade. According to a complaint made by the surprised mother at Pattaya police station, the 12-year-old had started coming into money. When questioned about her financial windfall she explained to her startled mother that Khun Oorai had suggested she take her future very much in hand by offering to assist excited foreign men to masturbate. Although she apparently didn’t jump at the chance, she

was gradually persuaded to help herself, in a financial sense, by using her delicate wrists to toss more than the teddy. Her mother, who worked just along Beach Road as a vendor while Khun Oorai plied her trade as an illegal horizontal folk dancer, allowed her daughter free association with Khun Oorai. The daughter confirmed the salient points of her mother’s complaint and so police went to Khun Oorai’s room and arrested her and her Thai husband. He was given a couple of blows to the head by the suitably outraged family of the 12-year-old. Police charged Khun Oorai with a number of sex offences. The daughter has now been taken in hand and removed from the street of temptation, for now.

Do you think I look like Mother Teresa I have to keep this layabout next to me in booze

German tourist snares six pickpockets Six suspected pickpockets, one aged just 14, were arrested after police were called to the South Pattaya Road intersection with Second Road. Mr Manfred Bieber, a 63-yearold German tourist, had stopped the Baht Bus he was aboard but when he came to pay the driver he found his wallet wasn’t where he had put it that morning. He realised he’d been pickpocketed and had a pretty good idea of who the light-fingered thieves happened to be. When police arrived they soon arrested six females, who had already transferred to another Baht Bus and were no doubt waiting for their next unsuspecting victim to climb aboard. Mr Bieber identified the six and the women were remanded in custody and charged with theft and being stupid enough to hang around long enough to get caught.

The German told officers he had been aboard the Baht Bus when the six pickpockets hailed the vehicle in front of the VC Hotel on Pratumnak Road. By the time the Baht Bus had reached South Pattaya Road, which, given the traffic woes at this time of year, could have been anywhere from two minutes to a couple of days, his wallet was gone. All the suspects are related and they conduct the family business from a residence in Naklua. They are allegedly part of an even larger gang who not only keep some Baht Bus drivers in business by getting on and off plenty of times each day, but make their living by relieving unwary tourists and even some expats of their valuables. These gangs have been operating for many years and appear to have the knack of avoiding custodial sentences despite occasionally being caught red-handed.

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Compulsory helmet zones announced (again) In mid-December the Public Health Ministry announced that all government office areas across the country, including those in Pattaya, would become compulsory helmet zones for people driving or riding as pillion passengers on motorbikes. It’s not sure if it was pointed out to the Deputy Minister Pannasiri Kullanartsiri that, apart from his first name and surname ending with the same four letters in English, there was already a law that stated all riders of motorbikes and passengers have to wear a helmet for their own safety and that of others. Instead, the announcement merely stated the Public Health Ministry was shocked that 11,000 people, an average of 30 a day, were dying in road accidents across Thailand. Some 6,000 of these deaths were motorcycle riders not wearing safety helmets. Another 700,000 people were injured in motorbike accidents and required hospitalisation, and this cost the government about two billion baht

a year. Therefore the years from 2011 to 2020 have now been designated the Decade of Action for Road Safety. This will give great impetus to the sign making industry and no doubt a decent-sized budget will be blown on producing pamphlets that hardly anyone will read, but it will keep the much needed wheels of the printing industry turning. The Deputy Minister said the aim of the Decade of Action -which might well be defined as the Year of Living Dangerously multiplied by 10- would hopefully see accident rates reduced by 50 percent. He said the government needed to encourage people to wear helmets, so, all government office areas are now magically transformed into compulsory helmet-wearing zones. It’s not sure if the paint industry will see an economic surge with government departments buying tins of yellow and red paint to demarcate the zones. After all, it would be a real travesty if a government employee was caught helmetless just metres inside the zone because he hadn’t spotted the sign while he was chatting to a supervisor on his mobile phone.

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Pete’s Peregrinations By Peter Lloyd

Koh Chang v Hua Hin As usual I spent Christmas on Koh Chang with my wife. We used to always spend Christmas in Hua Hin but after a while, great seafood aside, we became bored. We never swam in the sea at Hua Hin in many years of visiting, and nor did we want to spend time on the beach, as it was always too packed, although we did enjoy walking along, counting the huge jellyfish which always wash up. I’d rather swim and laze on Jomtien beach (or Bang Saray) than go all the way to Hua Hin, but we liked staying in the town, using it as a base to visit the national parks, and eating superb seafood. I just think we went there too many times. Then, a couple of years ago, we discovered Koh Chang, and I can’t recommend it highly enough to visitors to Thailand, as a high quality, easy-access beach resort, compared to the trip down to the southern islands, and I take any opportunity I can get to escape here

from Pattaya. So again, this year, we drove the car down to Koh Chang, a pleasant trip as always, and boarded the ferry, anxiously wondering if my car would fall off the back of it, as it seemed heavily overweight, the bow door was open and water lapped around the car deck every time we hit big waves. We tried to book into our usual hotel, but even when we had called them in November they were fully booked, which told me that this high season on Koh Chang was going to be VERY high. So we decided to drive over on spec. and found somewhere just outside White Sands Beach. This year, compared to last year, there are many more Russians and

Scandinavian tourists around. The boat over was packed with boozing middle-aged Russians, and on Christmas Eve all the hotels on White Sands Beach had tables laid out for the Scandinavians to

celebrate Christmas. The packed beach and sea also told us that high season numbers on Koh Chang have increased from last year, no matter what the dodgy TAT airport arrivals statistics say. When we want to find a quieter beach, it’s very easy to do here. Earlier we lay in the sea bathed in late-afternoon sun, watching huge black and white eagles soaring around the green, tree-covered mountains, before lazily dropping to sea level where they skimmed the water hunting for fish, just offshore. The only downside to Koh Chang, which strikes me every time I come here, being a Cheap Charlie Pattayan, is the outrageous tourist season prices they charge for anything in the shops, and for taxis, trips, hotels, you name it. All exorbitantly priced compared to Pattaya. But that’s high season or you.

Another room with a view

All View, No Odour

Travelling again through Isaan recently, we made another service station stop in an out-of-the way location. I love our wanderings through Isaan, as I have said before, yet for some reason the toilets at the service stations fascinate me almost as much as the wonderful countryside scenery. As my wife glowered at the teenager filling up the petrol tank, I used the time to empty my own, and I was glad I did, as I walked in to see this wonderful panoramic vista. At first I felt it was a bit too alfresco and public for comfort (although maybe that’s why it was called a “public” convenience), but I had magnificent views over the Isaan countryside as I made use of these facilities.

Note how dangerously close the electrical wires were however. It was definitely a time for precision targeting.

Mosquito Larvae We are growing some cuttings in a glass of water in our condo in Jomtien. We were in Bangkok for a couple of nights and came back to see the glass crawling with mosquito larvae, some of which you can see in the photo. In the past we used to have maybe five mosquitoes a year in our room, which is on the 20th floor.

Squat-squito Larvae This year there seems to be an epidemic of them, and we’ve been getting five mozzies a week buzzing around. We soon evicted these larvae squatters, but I suspect the bailiffs will be busy this high season.

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Letters to the Editor If you would like to voice your opinion in print, please send us your thoughts and ideas by email to: Letters may be edited to improve clarity and spelling.

Plenty of Bite in the Paper Sir, I work in a cold Luxembourg financial institution and wanted to tell you my colleagues and I have taken great delight in having discovered your Thai Visa downloaded paper. The link was sent to me by a friend who lives there and keeps trying to convince me to come on over for a visit. The Norwegian snake story was great, some of the headlines and your style of writing the news is

often hilarious. The tourist trade update was good along with the letter, “will I catch a disease” in the most recent edition. The writing is spot on. It’s a great read, the articles, letters and dietary tips. Stories that are literally a million miles away from this place. Thank you for producing it online. [Name withheld by request] by email

Plenty of Bite in Africa as well Sir, I am writing this from Africa where I work in a remote town in Zambia. A friend in Pattaya sent me the link to your paper, including the cobra front page story, which was a coincidence because that day I had my own snake drama, African style. Here’s how mine went. One of our workers had gone out without the correct footwear, and been bitten by a snake in the bush and collapsed. He said it was a Common Boomslang, a highly venomous, aggressive snake, which strikes without warning, and which out here, is usually fatal within 3 days, as there are no good medical facilities nearby. Toxic snake bite venom tends to cause internal bleeding and attacks the vital organs /nervous system (quickly or slowly) like battery acid

(it liquidises organs). So once it is in the system there is not a lot that can be done, and we feared the worst as the man slipped in and out of consciousness. The poor man was in great pain, and we took him to a dusty local hospital which is no more than a room with a bed and a stock of penicillin in it. The hospital said they couldn’t help and recommended he was taken to a local WITCH DOCTOR. So, as directed, we took him to a nearby village, up a dirt track, where we met an old man who was the witch doctor. The patient was carried from the truck and put under a tree in a field, as the witch doctor slashed the wound with a razor blade, applied some leaves to the gashed foot and gave him some smelly concoction


consulate closure The British Consulate in Pattaya will be closed due to staff leave between 10 - 14 January 2011. During this time, the Consular Section of the British Embassy in Bangkok will handle consular enquiries (tel: 02 305 8333 ) and requests for notarial services (tel: 02 305 8351). For notarial services, our Bangkok staff will be able to advise you on the best way to submit your documents, based on your circumstances. The Consulate in Pattaya will reopen for normal business on Monday 17th January 2011.

from local bushes to drink, while mumbling spells of some kind. Incredibly, the man survived and is recuperating well. We couldn’t believe it. Maybe you need a witch doctor in Pattaya? Yours sincerely, Paul Gerrard By email It seems our Internet presence is even more expansive than we had imagined. Two letters, by email, in about 10 days from two completely different continents no less. Pattaya One is hoping we also have a few people who live within a 10,000 kilometres of Pattaya who read the paper as well! Common Boomslang’s are quite thick on the ground here as well, usually around the Beach

Road promenade area and parts of Walking Street late at night. When filled with alcoholic beverages, or if it’s the wrong time of the month, they can become extremely aggressive. When they do strike, the organ that goes first is usually the wallet and its attendant cash, although sometimes victims have claimed they’ve also lost their hearts. This is probably due to some congenital weakness associated with having left their thinking and reasoning capacity at left luggage when they came off the aircraft from overseas. We don’t have witch doctors as such in Pattaya but there are plenty of persons who dabble in the arcane arts or can supply all kinds of potions; usually they’ve just been released from a period of detention at the pleasure of the authorities.

‘A’ for effort Sir, I’m surprised but pleased to see you guys had the guts to run a story about the jetski thieves and crooks. We who live here know it’s been going on for years and the BiB couldn’t give a toss because they make a bit out of it all. At what point will the people who run things in Pattaya work out that all this negative publicity and scamming and thieving is going to have an affect on the economy and businesses. Maybe it already has but we haven’t really noticed the full impact yet. Thanks again for at least trying and keep up the good work, JD by email

The jet ski piece was a genuine news story that could not be ignored. The more people like this are able to escape any kind of retribution for their illegal actions the more they will be emboldened. If there are no consequences, only positive outcomes, then it surely won’t be long before we are reporting a truly horrible and deadly incident. Perhaps then the authorities will act but, being Thailand, it will all blow over in a few weeks and back to business as usual. The best way to have this practice stamped out is to cause the scam artists financial distress. No customers, no chance of a scam, and eventually they may be put out of business.

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THE ENJOYING FRENCH CUISINE DOESN’T HAVE TO BUST THE BUDGET This column will feature great dining options that are easy on the wallet. In most of the spots mentioned, you can have a great meal for less than 500 baht (sometimes including a glass of wine). For our first culinary journey, let’s focus on some of Fun City’s French restaurants. L’Olivier (038 251 689), in Jomtien Complex, off Thappraya Road, offers a complete dinner, including soup, salad, main course and dessert for 299 baht. Main courses offered on the set menu change daily, but typically include such items as beef bourguignon, sea bass and bouillabaisse. A very reasonable a la carte menu is offered, as well as Thai dishes. L’Arc French Restaurant (038 251 1921), also in Jomtien

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Complex, has been open for a little over a year. You’ll probably go slightly over the 500 baht budget, but it is well worth it. The attractively decorated venue features modern furnishings and impressionistic art. The carrot soup (110 baht) was thick and creamy. My dining companion loved his Quiche Lorraine (120 baht). I tried the bavette cranolais of beef (390 baht), which was tender, juicy and succulent. My friend raved that his Marget De Canard Sauce Miel (grilled duck breast with honey sauce) (230 baht) was unlike any he had ever had. There’s an assortment of dessert choices, but as a chocoholic, I went with the sinful Mousse Au Chocolat Maison. You could easily spend a week trying the various, sensibly priced French restaurants in the Day and Night area of South Pattaya without repetition. At Monte Cristo (087 380 7148) on the site of the old Renoir’s, adjacent to the now closed Flamingo Hotel, you can definitely stay within budget and eat like an epicure in this elegant and stylish brasserie. Their 390 baht set menu includes starter,

main course, dessert and coffee. A glass of wine is 110 baht. The a la carte choices include a variety of starters, such as quiche, fish soup and smoked salmon. Special a la carte main courses include paella with sea bass and fresh tagliatelle with sea food. Day and Night Soi 2, across and down from features a plethora of French offerings. La Cuisine Au Beurre ( 087 133 5471), an attractive open air bistro offers a set menu for 290 baht. A starter, main course dessert and coffee or tea is included. (Mains featuring duck, pork or fish were on offer recently.) One evening, I tried the filet steak, which for the price was excellent: juicy and flavorful. Two hundred fifty baht gets you a mouth watering, complete meal at Le Petite Planet (038 723 755), a cozy and attractive French restaurant, just a few steps from La Cuisine Au Beurre. The set menu (255 baht) includes starter, main course and dessert. On a recent visit, a friend said the beef stew was the best he’s had. The dory fish Hollandaise was tasty, indeed. When they get crowded, though,

service suffers. Continuing down the same soi, you’ll come to the campy Chez Vicky (089 012 3633), which is decorated with posters from various musicals, as well as, mannequins dressed to the nines. Add 100 baht to their reasonably priced mains and you get soup, cold buffet and dessert. Some nights, they have a cabaret show. Across from Chez Vicky is Bordeaux Restaurant (038 721 524), a warm, modern restaurant with an air conditioned room, as well as, a fan cooled room for smokers. You can choose from two and three course set menus at 290 and 390 baht, respectively. Examples of some of their delicious a la carte entrees were pan fried scallops with flambéed cognac (280 baht) (unforgettable) and chateaubriand (540 baht). There are also a variety of sinful desserts to top off your meal. Don’t miss this one.

engineered” Western technology to bid on contracts—an accusation Chinese officials deny. The bullet-train rail line will be completed around 2014. While the exact route isn’t clear, the rail line is expected to connect the southwest Chinese city of Kunming with Singapore, passing through Laos, Thailand and Malaysia. Zhang Dejiang, a vice premier of China, told the conference that China is “encouraging” its train producers and other concerns to “go global.” He said China is ready to “share its technological achievements” with other countries. Japan’s Kawasaki Heavy Industries Ltd. has said that it and other high-speed train producers disagree with China’s claim that it has created its own technology. Most of its trains in operation today,

some Kawasaki executives said, are almost exactly the same as its foreign partners’ trains, save for a few tweaks to the exterior paint scheme and interior trims and a beefedup propulsion system for faster speeds.

If you have a favourite restaurant you’d like reviewed, or want to have your place mentioned, email me at: TheFrugalGourmandPattaya

Topical Thailand Thailand in the World’s Press New Thai Budget Airline

Self-Catering Breaks News reported that Asia will soon have two new low-cost flight carriers to choose from, as Malaysia Airways and Thai Airways confirmed their intention to compete with other budget airlines such as AirAsia. Thai Airways confirmed that it would be launching a new low-cost carrier called Thai Tiger Airways in 2011. Experts say that they are not shocked to hear that major carriers are making budget chains. Ever since the economic downturn, the way that people travel has changed for good. People are no longer willing to pay top dollar to fly. Most people are looking to

save money, and the best way to do that is to fly with a budget carrier. To avoid losing these customers, major airlines are starting to offer budget flights.

China-Laos Rail Link Hopes to Extend into Thailand Wall Street Journal Online reported that China and Laos will begin construction in early 2011 of the first high-speed rail link between the two countries. A top Chinese official said China was ready to export and share its train technology, though he didn’t offer details. The comments follow concern by train makers in other countries that Chinese companies are using tweaked or “re-

Palisadian Saves Elephant in Thailand The Palisandian-Post reported from the Surin annual Elephant Roundup, the largest elephant event in Southeast Asia, where they followed some elephant activists, who bought an unhappy, mistreated elephant and transported it to an elephant sanctuary. Sadly this didn’t work out well for the elephant, which died a few months later.

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Kris & Noi’s

is smart. And better than some expats, who prefer relying on shouted English.


Age Aggro

Do you have a question about customs or culture, or perhaps just a general comment on life in Thailand? Email Kris & Noi at: Anti-Whinger Thailand is the worst place I’ve been in for moaning expats. Wherever they congregate you will hear them griping, saying how lazy and stupid the Thais are. Seeing as, for most of them, a round of golf followed by a visit to the bar is the most work they will do, they have no right to point a lethargic finger at Thais who generally work 12-hour days. Expats are better educated for sure, but the way some of them act in Pattaya, you wouldn’t think so. Where do farangs get the gall to question the brainpower of a village girl who has been in Pattaya six months and can already converse in several languages,

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while veteran expats who’ve been here 5 or 10 years still can’t form a sentence in Thai? Groucho Expats, particularly— but not exclusively—those living in Third World or developing countries, do have a tendency to complain about the shortcomings of the locals. It’s in the expat genes; rumour has it the first letters home from the Mayflower complained about the quality of the local beer. The most whining seems to come from the laziest examples of Western man. While they are sitting at their restaurant tables, or boozing in the bars, they cannot see the irony in complaining

about lazy Thais, when the Thais serving them are probably working six or seven days per week just to maintain a very basic lifestyle. Thais are poorly educated in comparison to most expats, but stupid they certainly are not, being far more self-sufficient than pampered Westerners. Many Thais speak one, sometimes two, regional languages, as well as Thai, but to claim that service girls can converse in several languages is stretching it a bit, or a lot actually. Being able to say “another blow is 500 more” in six languages doesn’t make her a linguist [might make her a cunning linguist though, Ed]; however, by increasing her customer appeal she

I am fed up with Thais forever wanting to know my age. I get complete strangers like shop assistants or stall holders, even people sitting on the beach, asking me. I don’t care about a person’s age, especially a complete stranger who I’ll never see again. If I don’t answer my girlfriend tells them anyway, she says they are just being polite. Why is knowing someone’s age so important? Harpo Thais are rather prone to prising a five-minute life history out of anyone they come into contact with, but it’s perfectly harmless, and they will tell you their life story in return. You consider it an intrusion, Thais think it’s being friendly. There is a logical reason; the Thai language has different words for younger and older brothers and sisters, and they use these classifiers as a polite way of addressing strangers, so, by knowing your age, they can use the correct word. There is another, more simple reason—Thais are nosey buggers! It’s just the Thai way—better to accept it rather than get agitated.

Living Healthy in Pattaya By Khun Dee

Get into a food fight... against cancer Begin the New Year with a bang. Get into a fight. A foodfight against cancer. In fact, if you haven’t yet decided on a New Year resolution for 2011, why not commit to a year-long-even life-long--chomping battle against cancer? Graze into a healthier future without being restricted to such mundane fare as kelp, tofu and flax seeds. Instead, enjoy more of the foods you like that also protect you against cancer, and eat less of those unhealthy alternatives--saturated fat, sugar, salt, processed foods. As a bonus, you’ll lose weight and gain energy. So what are cancer-fighting

Start the New Year Right

foods? Victuals you probably eat already but just not enough—like broccoli, tomatoes, blueberries, salmon. You can still enjoy lean meat, too, but to ward off cancer, focus predominantly on fruits and vegetables. A plate consisting of two-thirds plant food will do that. Just remember to avoid excessive saturated fat; a high-fat diet has been linked to cancer of the colon, prostate, uterus and breast. If a heavy dose of greens is new to you, take baby steps. Resolve to add one new vegetable a month to your menu. Do the same with fruit. Your goal is to eat at least five servings of vegetables and five servings of fruit daily, the most important of which are broccoli, cooked tomatoes, berries (all varieties), pomegranates, prunes, plums, carrots, pumpkin, pineapple, oranges, spinach, avocado, red grapes, papaya, red apples, olive oil, nuts and beans--particularly soybeans. As you organize your menu, do your best to include the some of the above and consider following: *Folate. This B-complex vitamin

is found in orange juice, spinach, romaine lettuce, dried beans, peas, peanuts, asparagus and Brussels sprouts. Load up. *Vitamin D. Curbs the growth of cancerous cells and may improve survival rates among lung cancer patients. D is in fatty fish, mushrooms, eggs, and meat. In Pattaya you can get ample doses year round just spending 10 minutes a day in the sun. *Tea/Coffee. Polyphenols in green and black tea have antioxidant effects that help prevent skin, esophageal, stomach, colon, pancreas, lung, bladder, prostate and breast cancers. Drink four cups a day, hot or cold. And a recent Japanese study indicates that coffee may cut your chance of contracting cancer of the mouth, pharynx and esophagus by 50%. *Cruciferous vegetables. Recent studies show that kale, cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, and Brussel sprouts help ward off prostate and colon cancers. *Carrots/pumpkin. High doses of beta-carotene in these foods help

protect against lung, throat, stomach, intestine, prostate and breast cancers. *Avocado. Rich in the antioxidant glutathione, which attacks free radicals in the body, avocados are also an excellent source of potassium and beta-carotene. *Herbs and spices. Common in Thai and Indian cooking are such gems as *curcumin--which may have antitumor, antioxidant, anti-amyloidal and anti-inflammatory properties (studies have yet to find a cancer not affected by curcumin); *garlic--boosts the immune system and breaks down cancercausing substances; *chili peppers--contain capsaicin that helps keep certain cancercausing elements (nitrosamines) at bay, and *rosemary, thought to inhibit the development of both breast and skin tumors. * Yogurt. Opt for low-fat yogurt with bacteria lactobacilli; it stops enzymes that turn healthy cells into cancer. Finally, as you advance into the New Year healthier and wiser, the new you may be tempted to surreptitiously snack on some kelp, tofu and flaxseed. Do it without guilt.

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Talking Real Estate

Alcohol is good for you Condo Developments

Pattaya is not called Fun Town for nothing. The amount of alcoholic beverages consumed by locals, expats and visitors alike on any given day of the week would likely exceed almost any comparable city anywhere in the world. According to the results of a 20-year study, published in a United States-based journal, people who drink moderately are two-thirds less likely to die than those who never let the demon drink pass their sainted lips. Most commentators on this study found the major drawback in this finding was that of the 1,824 people aged between 55 and 65 years old who participated in the survey, 63 percent were men. Since Fun Town is an unabashed male dominated city fuelled by booze, and where the average age of its expats is probably over 50, the American survey actually fits very neatly into the Pattaya paradigm. The biggest issue is what constitutes ‘moderate drinking’ and here the news is not so good. It is classed as one to three drinks per day. So, those residents who like to tipple to the point where they topple, the news is not so good. Nonetheless, the American study still noted that heavy boozers consistently outlived their teetotal peers. So, even if you are a person who likes to get legless, you are probably still capable of outliving most of your nonboozing mates. The researchers did point out that even if heavy drinking could lead to a longer life it can be dangerous. Too much of the giggle juice could lead to memory loss and a propensity to fall over a lot more. The researchers, led by a psychologist from the University of Texas, were unable to explain just why being on the wagon was a far less healthy option than consistently engaging in booze benders or sipping a tipple or three every day. Over the 20-year study period the research team said 69 percent of abstainers died compared to 60 percent of the heavy drinkers and just 41 percent of the moderate boozers. The researchers said they factored in all the variables (economic situation, level of physical activity, number of family and friends) and admitted some surprise at the results. Whatever the reasons behind boozing leading to a longer life, it’s good news for those who like a drink or two, and that probably means 99 percent of the people reading this item. Hic!

A Plethora of Pattaya Possibilities

By Tim Gladwin, Managing Director of Sallmanns The greater Pattaya area, ranging from Naklua down to Bang Saray, has numerous condominium developments. The range is huge, some are enormous while others are boutique, some luxurious and some run-down, some are in prime, prominent locations while others are hidden away, some offer a tranquil lifestyle while some are in the heart of the busy nightlife. I could go on, but I think you get the idea. One might say that there is something for everyone, which is the very reason why it is impossible to say with absolute certainty which is the best of Pattaya’s condos. Any such assessment is, by its very nature, a subjective assessment, albeit one that can undoubtedly be based on certain objective criteria. Thus, one can say which are the most convenient, the most luxurious, the most tranquil, which have the best views, so on and so forth. And you might well argue that the condo with the most positive attributes is the best, but then what about the value for money it offers. If you have to pay a disproportionate premium to get the condo with the most positive attributes does that prevent it from being as good as it might otherwise have been? With any assessment of real estate, be it land, a house, a condo, etc, it is often said, and with very good reason, that location is the most important consideration. In terms of which location is best for a condo in Pattaya, there is more than just one good area and which is best for any given individual depends upon what is most important to that person. For example, for those who want to be close to everything and everywhere, condos like Northshore and View Talay 6, both on or extremely close to Pattaya Beach Road, provide a combination of outstanding convenience, very good sea-views and proximity to the beach (although Pattaya Beach is not everyone’s cup of tea). For those who don’t want to be right in the centre of town, but also don’t want to be too far away, Wongamat Beach and more particularly

the condos built adjacent to it tend to offer a very good option. Accordingly, they are very popular and, for Pattaya, generally very expensive. My own personal favourite is probably Baan Rimpha, which is located very close to the Dusit hotel in an absolutely prime location. It is a relatively small development with only big units only affordable for a select few. Nevertheless, it is still very hard to get a place in there. They only rarely come on the market and there is usually a waiting list to get one. Further down the beach, Saranchol has an outstanding reputation and for good reason, with nice units in a lovely setting, although in local terms the apartments are expensive. Not far away, Raimon Land has just completed the twin tower Northpoint development, which has sold very well, with prices typically in the 100,000 Baht to 150,000 Baht per square metre range. It is a quality development of luxury units on a beautiful 12 rai beachfront site with good communal facilities. A slight negative, albeit a temporary one, might be that Raimon Land have announced they will launch another two-tower development to be called Zire right next door in January 2011. It appears likely the owners of Northpoint will have a large and potentially noisy building site next door for the next few years. Typically I think it is fair to say many of the better value units, and certainly the newer projects that fall into that category, tend to be found in Jomtien and the Pratumnak Hill area. A number of Israeli developers, such as Iguana and Heights Holdings, have focused on building value for money, budget and middle market developments which have proven to be very successful over the past couple of years. Many of these projects focus on using space as efficiently as possible, such that lots of onebedroom units of only around 30 to 40 square metres have cropped up. While these are very small they have undoubtedly hit the right note with lots of buyers. It means purchasers have been able to buy onebedroom units, however small, for between one and two million Baht. The appeal is relatively obvious. If your choice is between a studio

and a one bedroom of roughly the same size and thus the same price, in a one-bedroom you have the additional privacy afforded by a separate room. In very large developments like Park Lane, and now Paradise Park, the size of the project enables the developer to provide lots of good communal amenities, such as huge pools, gyms and restaurants, notwithstanding the cheap price of the individual units. It is hard to argue against these units being very good value for money, although you might well say the very number of the units may limit capital appreciation and may keep rental values relatively low. Although Pratumnak Hill is the site of a number of recent good value developments, it is a sought after location, and has a lot more to offer than just competitively priced condos. In terms of older developments, right on the beach you have Baan Hadd U Thong, a lovely place in a great setting. The units are 250 square metres with good layouts and nice, large balconies. Close by, Sugar Beach is a much smaller development and low rise, but also right on the beach and similarly attractive if you can find a unit that is available. A number of new, high rise developments are now springing up in the Cosy Beach area of Pratumnak, a nice quiet setting close to the lovely Royal Varuna Yacht club. These developments appear to be selling well, in large part due to their location. As a fan of Najomtien and Bang Saray, I particularly like some of the out of town, beachfront developments. In particular, Kristada condo and one or two others in Najomtien are both convenient, fronting onto Sukhumvit Road and extremely nice with very good communal facilities. My favourite is probably the elderly Bang Saray condo. In recent times the communal areas have been brought up to a very good standard by the management committee that is now largely run by farang owners. If you have any questions or queries in relation to the above, or if you would like to discuss any other matters related to the local real estate market, please call me on 087 137 0392 or email me at

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What’s the Big Deal with Soi Bukhao? (Part 1) I have to admit I like Soi Bukhao. It used to be a white elephant but it’s an increasingly important area of Pattaya, with a rosy future ahead of it. Often I find myself strolling down there of a daytime wondering why so many people hate it, admittedly as I leap out of the way of speeding baht buses, with no pavement to offer me sanctuary. However I do notice on market days the bars fill up with people who look like they know how to handle a bottle of Chang, from a lifetime of experience, but hey, this is Pattaya. Whenever I have been down the Soi at night I haven’t seen anything particularly lewd, offensive or objectionable either (this being Pattaya), so I really needed an answer to what Pattaya’s internet posters’ big problem is with the place, cruelly dubbed “The English Patient” on account of the number of British welfare benefit claimants who allegedly hang out there. Forum posters frequently get worked up about Soi Bukhao, how it’s spelt (I’m using my own spelling here) and whether it actually exists at all (?), so I endeavoured to find out what all the fuss was about by reviewing Thai Visa’s threads: “Soi Bukhao Likes and Dislikes?” “And Does Soi Bukhao Actually Exist?” About spelling, I am always surprised by the variations on the name. Buakhaow, Buakao, Buakow, Bukhao, BuaKhao, Bua Khao, Bukhaow, Buckaow, and many others are used by posters, so it was perhaps reasonable for andyww to comment: The street seems to be a virtual soi which only exists on internet forums. Musongman believes not only did it exist, but it is the dirtiest, noisiest, most undesirable, trafficcongested address in all of Pattaya. Not so, Charlie1968 countered: good soi, everything you need; nice hotels, plenty of choice for food and drink, all for a reasonable price, and not too far to walk to the beach. And there we could probably leave it, as many posts, for and against, are a variation of the above. But where would be the fun be in that? Usually the disagreements about Soi Bukhao become quickly,

Pattaya One 09

Fun Town’s most vibrant



By JOHN THOMAS our Internet Forum Snoop

Sponsored by

Soi Bukhao: All soi, no pavement irrationally and enjoyably heated, so I decided to plough on through the absorbing “likes and dislikes” thread. In answer to Jingthing’s question: Take away the whores and the punters, and what would you have? LennyW pithily answered: A midden! More aesthetically, craig3365 replied: One of the ugliest places on earth... AndyPooots pulled no punches with his contribution: I like the soi, hate the kind of expat/sexpat tourists it attracts. The worse of British can be found there, Jonny come lately, sun-reading idiots who know everything about Thailand without going anywhere other than Pattaya. To which JimmyChoons replied: WOW! What an incredibly sweeping statement. Would you like some more tar for your brush? Syd Barrett stoutly defended the place: As I expected, lots of cheap and nasty comments from people who either don’t live near Soi Buakow or who have never visited Pattaya…There is a mixture of cafes, cheap restaurants, friendly bars, massage shops, apartment blocks, the twice weekly market,,,,and lots of very cheap eateries (30-40 baht) for Cheap Charlies like myself. Unimpressed, RabC observed: The 40 baht meals only add to the reasons I do not go there, it’s not the food that I dislike it’s the balloon

chasing tight-fists that frequent the place. TCW commented that: I sometimes have lunch up there when I’m in Pattaya. Many of the foreigners on the street, wherever they are from, look like they have just finished a long stretch inside. And I think it has got worse, not better, in the past year or two. Some good places however. More comprehensively and much more damagingly, rgs2001uk opined: It’s not exactly catering to the new high quality tourists we keep hearing about. For many it’s the last chance saloon, next stop Cambodia. Certainly it has the cheapest beer in Pattaya, served in some hole in the wall beer bars by maidens well past their sell by date. The balloon chasers can be spotted carrying their Big C bags with plastic tupperware inside as they search for their evening meal, usually pitch-

Next stop Cambodia

ing up in some bar they have never set foot in before, spotted straight away by regulars, about the same time as they order a soda water or sprite, next descend on the free buffet and head for the toilet to fill up their plastic boxes to keep them going for the next 3 days. All in all a cheap charlies hangout, the thought of a night out in Jamesons would horrify them, or leave them skint for a week. BaronCasey demurred (and at this stage, there was so much vitriol flying about that I couldn’t tell what was a wind-up and what were genuinely-held opinions): It’s a terrific Soi. I think it has a little village feel about it. The girls at the Pook Bar are delightful and always very hospitable when I turn up in the early hours of pre-dawn, half-cut and pinch a few bottoms. However I’ve noticed recently that as I ride past on my motorbike in any afternoon, one or two of the girls now scowl at me. One of them usually shakes her fist too. I think she likes me. As the debate became increasingly polarized and angry, and the delights of Soi Bukhao were being impugned left, right and centre, a furious Somtampet, a big fan of the soi, queried the credentials of the ‘anti” brigade in refreshingly forthright terms: I think they are Bangkok knobheads, total pathetic excuses for human beings, before dealing with the above poster AndyPooots, and making him an offer he could easily refuse: “come join some of these guys you disrespect and tell them to their faces. I know what I would do if you dissed me face to face…. It wasn’t just fisticuffs that were flying around either. Even more dangerously, for an internet forum, some posters began picking up on small typographical errors in others’ posts. Jiu-Jitsu had popular poster Britmaveric on the canvas (and I ‘aint talking art) for a minor typo, following it up in the same post with a major swipe at the Soi, calling it a kind of ghetto for working girls and a certain kind of tourist/expat. And at that point I think we’ll leave it, the thread hanging on the verge of closure for intemperate remarks, threats of physical violence, poster-baiting, and collapsing under a welter of nitpicking typos, grammatical treatises, and with much scurrilous personal abuse flying around. Yes indeed, an excellent thread, although I’m still none the wiser as to why harmless Soi Bukhao is such an inflammatory topic on the boards. Maybe I will find the answer to that question in Part 2, in the next edition of Above Bawd in Pattaya. All comments or Web Board tipoffs gratefully received at

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Pattaya Focus on ...... Art Attack on Beach Road

By Street Stoller

For this edition I have just focused on the traditional Thai images.

Fountain Near The Dusit

It is easy to stroll down Pattaya Beach Road (PBR), glowering at the jet ski scammers, avoiding the cross-eyed gaze of the blowsy harlots, being accosted by dodgy tattooed drug dealers and sneering at some of the flotsam of Pattaya’s lowest end tourists of all nationalities, as they shamefully try to haggle down the price of an already cheap bunk-up with some nasty old crone. Most people think PBR is a horrible place, ugly, dirty and dangerous.

Can you hear the sea in your shell? No I’m on my mobile.

Well, it is. But it is also something else. It is a walkway full of public art, much of it, surprisingly in this overscammed town, of decent quality, and most of it certainly deserves to be looked at more by passing tourists, although it is often easy to overlook it with everything else on a human level going on there. In an attempt to put this right, I thought we should focus on some of the public art on display on the beachside of PBR, flippantly captioned, of course.

Gambling’s illegal!

PBR contains many traditional Thai sculptures and statues, as well as more modern art, using a whole range of materials, including plastic, metal, ceramics, coral, stone, plaster of Paris, and shitty nasty concrete, in the form of that appalling disgrace of a fountain at the PBR/Central Road junction, which we shall certainly be focusing on in a future edition. The next couple of columns will feature a selection of photos of what I consider to be the best pieces of PBR Art. Not just what I think is good, because each to his own on that, but objects that made me stop and either admire or hate them, wonder who commissioned them, and why, or wonder who made them, how and where.

All those in favour of starting a jet ski scam business when we get older raise their hands

There is good art on PBR (most of it, relatively speaking) and bad (eg, that concrete fountain). A lot of things caught my attention once I started looking closely. You will see it on lamp posts, on the grass verges, in fountains, and elsewhere on a walk down the beach

side of PBR. Someone in City Hall deserves applause for conceiving and commissioning a lot of this art. Much of it is easily overlooked but it’s well worth looking out for. Well, the bits that haven’t been stolen or broken at any rate.

Lamp post: Girl Riding a Fish

Lamp post: Girl on a Chicken

Quick. Scarper. Here Come the Police – Art Inspired by Walking Street Beggars

Next Edition: More (Modern) Art on PBR

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THAI Lite In Defense of the Manly Art By Sodom N. Gomorrah

(Note: S. Tsow is on vacation. Our guest columnist during his absence is Sodom N. Gomorrah.) Recently there was a brief kerfuffle in the media about fledgling U.S. politician Christine O’Donnell, who opposes masturbation. “The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. You can’t masturbate without lust!” she declared in 1996. She’s right on both points. Personal experience reveals that lust is essential to masturbation, and in Matthew 5:28 Jesus tells us, “Everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” I’ve always been a big fan of Jesus, but on this issue I’m afraid he was a bit harsh. His dictum makes every man an adulterer, because we have all lusted after women at one time or another, and often with great enthusiasm, especially in gogo bars. I prefer the more liberal viewpoint of a 19th-century Hindu saint who declared, “Mental sin is no sin in the Kali Yuga.” (That’s the era we’re currently stuck in.) Back in the days of when Bill Clinton was President of the United States, a top official was forced to resign when she advocated teaching masturbation in the public schools.

She thought it would alleviate the problem of teenage pregnancies. Boy, was she stupid. You don’t have to TEACH masturbation, lady. Every young man will find out about it soon enough on his own. It’s one of those instinctive skills that emerge spontaneously during puberty. It’s like picking your zits. Nobody has to teach you how to pick your zits. Nobody has to teach you how to masturbate, either. What somebody does have to do is to reassure guilt-ridden young men that there’s nothing wrong with it. In this regard Christine O’Donnell was not being helpful. Indeed, masturbation has received a very bad press throughout history. It used to be called Onanism, after a gentleman named Onan. Genesis 38:8-10 tells us that Onan spilled his semen on the ground rather than produce offspring on behalf of his dead brother (a charming custom of the time). This upset God, who promptly killed him. Generations of clergymen have seized upon this incident to condemn masturbation and threaten young men with damnation. But

they miss the point. It wasn’t masturbation that upset the Lord. It was Onan’s dereliction of duty in failing to provide offspring for his brother. (His brother’s widow was expected to participate in this endeavour, and I’ve always suspected that she may have been superlatively ugly.) Victorian divines used to terrify young men by describing in lurid detail the horrors that would befall them if they practiced the art first pioneered by Onan. They were told that their health would deteriorate, their schoolwork would suffer, they would grow hair on the palms of their hands, and they would eventually go insane. Masturbation has received such a bad press that it is never discussed in public. It’s a forbidden topic. It is a tribute to the courage of the editors of Pattaya One that they have dared to print this. In fact, I’m surprised that the word is even allowed to be uttered. You’d think they’d call it the M-word, like the F-word and the N-word. Thanks to the tyranny of political correctness nowadays, soon every word the censors frown on will be represented by a letter of the alphabet, and we’ll all go crazy trying to figure out which word they’re talking about. It’s time for the bluenoses to face reality and acknowledge that masturbation is a physical necessity. It has saved generations of teenage boys from going insane. When urine builds up in the bladder, we have to urinate. When excrement builds up in the bowels, we have to defecate. When semen builds up in the vesicle, we have to ejaculate. Anything that blocks these processes causes physical and emotional agony. Anything that facilitates them brings instant relief. There’s another thing Christine O’Donnell should have thought about. Lust is part of the human condition. If we didn’t lust, we wouldn’t reproduce. If we didn’t reproduce, our species would soon become extinct. It’s true that lust makes men masturbate, but the very act puts an end to it. Nobody feels lustful after masturbating. Tired, yes. Lustful, no. If you want to get rid of lust, masturbating will do the trick every time.

Pattaya One 15 Masturbation has never received credit for its beneficial social effects. Women in the company of a man who has just masturbated are perfectly safe from being raped; teenage girls who hang out with boys who have just masturbated are unlikely to get pregnant. In fact, girls will be safer if boys masturbate more. Masturbation curbs aggressiveness and puts men in a mellow mood. Men who have just masturbated never start wars. In the interests of world peace, diplomats should be encouraged to masturbate immediately before entering into any kind of international negotiations. I envision a special room set aside in every embassy, government office, and UN conference hall specifically for this purpose. They could call it the Peace Room. Benjamin Netanyahu, Mahmoud Abbas, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would quickly reach an amiable consensus on the Palestinian problem as they masturbated quietly in the Peace Room. Finally, masturbation has a profoundly moral dimension. It’s the ultimate self-help therapy. Unlike sexual intercourse, it is a solitary act that fosters noble character traits like individualism, independence, and self-reliance. It also strengthens the hand. Unfortunately, the word “masturbation” sounds ugly, so we need a better name. There are many vulgar slang terms which I will spare the gently bred reader. “Selfabuse” is inaccurate; “self-gratification” implies hedonism; “Onanism” merely reminds us of that unhappy widow. I favor a splendid Latinate term with elegant connotations: “autoeroticism.” Let us therefore encourage autoeroticism as a palliative for all our personal and social ills. By boldly speaking out to defend it, those of us who are devoted to this ancient art may yet rescue it from the ignominy in which it has long languished. Sodom N. Gomorrah can be castigated for his deviant views at, except when he’s monitoring negotiations in the Peace Room.

Sign in North Pattaya. Fresh milk, toast and draft beer: the perfect antidote for a hangover

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Pattaya: One Rainbow A Bright New Gay Dawn

Pattaya One Exclusive

It’s a brand new year and a bright new dawn for gay publishing here in Thailand. The inaugural issue of OUT in Thailand magazine will appear on 2 January in Pattaya, Bangkok, Hua Hin, Chiang Mai, Koh Samui and Phuket. OUT iT has already generated interest in Singapore and Hong Kong and will be free to readers in all these locations. Despite the global economic meltdown, all the depression of recession and the political turbulence the Kingdom has endured, Thailand remains the world’s most popular gay destination. More and more, hotels and even restaurants are declaring that they are ‘gay friendly’, honing in on the ‘pink

baht’. Pattaya and Bangkok continually vie for the title, Gay Capital, Planet Earth. OUT in Thailand will be the only English language magazine to serve this community of gay Thais, expats and tourists. OUT iT’s publisher/editor Rewat Kadmai is well aware of the responsibility the magazine must bear. “We have to be informative, intelligent, inspiring and gay!” he told Pattaya One in an exclusive interview. “Of course it is a ‘lifestyle’ publication but we aim to be more than just a guide. We have an internationally renowned designer who will give us the style expected of a 21st century magazine and an editorial team dedicated to promote gay businesses here in Thailand as


That’s a Lot of Hunks: The Pattaya heat for The Mr. Gay Thailand contest was recently held at The Bondi on Jomtien Beach. The festivities commenced about an hour after the scheduled 10 pm start time (TIT). There were eleven hunky and sexy contestants who first paraded in their street clothes. During the second round, the boys strutted around their baskets in sexy bikinis. There was a five thousand baht prize for the winner, two thousand for the runner up and one thousand for the other contestants. The Pattaya final will be held on 15 January. The ultimate winner will go on to Manila to represent Thailand in the Mr. Gay World competition. First place went to Number 1, Mr. Kay, who was quite deserving of the accolades. The TAKE CARE!! fundraiser at Café Royale in Boyz Town (Pattayaland Soi 3) was a success and raised about 40,000 baht for the volunteer group which distributes free safer sex packs to gay and gay friendly venues throughout Pattaya. Dr. Philippe Seur, of Heart 2000, was the honoree. After dinner, punters were treated to an underwear fashion show and auction, B-Boyz break dancers and

the ever popular singers, El Duo. There were almost thirty lucky draw prizes and an art auction as well. Check out TAKE CARE!! at By the way, you can often catch the B-Boyz doing their routines on the street in front of Panorama, in Boyz Town, most nights after 10:30 pm. It’s Showtime: I stopped into X-Boys pole dancing palace (Pattayaland Soi 1) recently and caught their ten o’clock show. (They have three shows a night.) Following the obligatory ‘big organ’ show, two guys were making love under a sheet. Several boys held the sheet over them and raised and lowered it so audience members could sneak peeks at the action. There was also an interesting and entertaining act involving a katoey and some minimally attired young men. In addition, they had a hula hoop show; but alas, the performer wasn’t naked as in the past. There was also, among the other shenanigans, the B-Boys dancers, who were probably the most entertaining act. Upstairs, at Dynamite, the usual mischief was going on during the 10:30 show, which climaxed with a love making performance. Two couples started out, but, unfortunately, one of them couldn’t

By James Barnes

well as giving full support to Thailand’s burgeoning gay rights movement.” Sexual politics feature highly on Khun Rewat’s agenda. This handsome 28 year old executive is a ‘new generation’ Thai, modest and mild mannered but determined to have OUT iT reflect his social conscience. “Safer sex is a vital issue.” he says, “The rates of new HIV infection are horrifying and we have a special free gift for every reader of our first issue- there’s a condom inside every copy!” With an initial print run of 10,000 copies, that’s 10,000 condoms. “They were all kindly donated by those lovely people at Bodyguard Condoms, so our readers can see in the New Year with a bang- a safe bang!” “We all know that the gay community comprises some extraordinarily talented and creative

‘keep up,’ so he and his partner had to exit the stage. Just what the world needed, another karaoke bar has opened up. It looks like the owners of Jet Set have invested some big baht in furnishing and fixing the place up. Jet Set is located on Pattayaland Sol 1 above Lucky Seven. Lots of cute hosts are available to make a duet with you. GET LUCKY: Try your luck at the Panorma (Boyz Town) Lucky Draw at midnight. Every Wednesday is Bingo night, starting at 9 pm, at The Bondi on Jomtien Beach. Last game is in Thai. So, bring along your Thai friend or find one there. For trivia fans, The Bondi Quiz Night, usually held on the last Sun-

people,” he smiles. “And we hope to encourage and nurture budding writers and photographers who we urge to submit their work for consideration.” The magazine already has several Thai correspondents, including the international bestselling author, Prawit Suma. “These gay Thai writers will allow foreigners to see gay life in Thailand from an indigenous perspective.” he confides. “Something which has never been done before.” In these digital days, an online presence is prerequisite and www. is already getting a high hit rate. “People who register on the website will get regular free e-newsletters keeping them up-to-date with all the special events on the gay scene in Thailand and they can also see the online version of the magazine as well as special videos- we currently have a hilarious one of the Pope with a handful of handsome hunks in the Vatican!” James Barnes is editor-in-chief of OUT in Thailand and extends a sincere wish that you have the happiest, healthiest and gayest 2011.

day of the month, benefitting TAKE CARE!!, will resume in January. Duc’s Bar, in Sunee Plaza, holds two, monthly quiz nights on the 1st and 15th. On the 1st, it’s a visual motif featuring movie clips, photos to identify, etc. The quiz on the 15th is a general knowledge quiz. In Sunee Plaza, the former den of sin, known as Villa Rouge and before that, Kaos, will soon be reincarnated as a beer bar. According to the owner, who also owns Treetz, across the street, the new bar will open when it opens. I asked him what his new establishment will be called and he replied, beer bar for now. Will Treetz remain open? Over to you; Wikileaks.

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Pattaya One 17

Classifieds One Pattaya

Send us your classified advertisement by the 23rd of the previous month for the 1st of the next month edition or by the 6th for the 16th of the month edition. Maximum 75 words. All Classifieds are taken subject to available space. Send your Classified adverts to:

0364/GW – Bar with rooms Ground floor bar with 3 rental rooms above. Located on busy road in South Pattaya. Rent 25,000 baht per month with annual key money of 100,000 baht. Sale Price: 750,000 baht 0365/GW – Bar with rooms Ground floor bar with 5 rental rooms above. Located in South Pattaya. Rent 25,000 baht per month + key money. Sale Price: 950,000 baht 0343/GW – Bar/Restaurant Located in busy night life Soi in Central Pattaya. Rent 25,000 baht per month, with annual Key Money of 200,000 baht per year. Sale Price: 1.2 million baht 0371/SLN – Mini Mart Located on ground floor of apartment block in South Pattaya. Rent only 10,000 baht per month. Profitable business. Ideal for girlfriend or wife. Included in sale price is 200,000 bahts worth of stock. Sale Price: 1.25 million baht 0330/SLN – Laundry with Rooms – 3 storey single shop house, located in Central Pattaya. Totally refurbished to a very high standard. Three rental rooms on the upper floors. Rent paid till Jan. 2010.Sale Price: 1.5 million baht 0219/SLN – Open Beer Bar Located in busy night life area of South Pattaya. Extremely profitable. Key Money has been paid in full till Jan. 2011. Sale Price: 1.8 million baht 0313/SLN – Bar with Rooms 4 storey single shop house located in busy soi just off Beach Road, Central Pattaya. Ground floor bar with 5 rental rooms on the upper floors. Rent only 9,000 baht per month. Key Money has been paid till March 2012. Sale Price: 1.85 million baht 0319/SLN – Bar with Rooms 4 storey single shop house located in Jomtien. Ground floor bar, with 4 rental rooms & large apartment on upper floors. Long lease available. Currently being operated as a Gay Bar, but could easily be changed. Key Money paid till January 2013. Rent 25,000 baht per month.

Sale Price: 1.65 million baht. Freehold also available for an additional 5.5million baht 0357/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 3 storey double shop house located in South Pattaya. Large ground floor bar with 6 rental rooms on the upper floors. Rent 20,000 baht per month paid one year in advance. No Key Money. Sale Price: 2.3 million baht 0357/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 3 storey, double shop house located in South Pattaya. Ground floor bar with kitchen facilities. 6 rental rooms on upper floors. Rent 20,000 baht per month. Sale Price: 2.5 million baht 0367/GW – Bar & Guesthouse Large ground floor bar with 8 rental rooms, located in busy nightlife area of Central Pattaya. Rent 44,000 baht per month and Key Money has been paid till 2012. Sale Price: 2.5 million baht 0320/SLN – Bar with Rooms and large kitchen 4 storey single shop house located in Jomtien. Ground floor bar with pool table. On the upper floors is 4 rental rooms a modern kitchen and a small dining area. Rent only 27,500 baht per month .Sale Price: 2.65 million 0331/SLN – Bar with Rooms 4 storey single – end unit located on Thappraya Road between Pattaya and Jomtien Beach. Ground floor bar with 2 rooms & 2 large apartments on upper floors. Profitable business. Sale Price: 2.75 million baht 0311/SLN – Guesthouse 4 storey, single shop house, located in Central Pattaya. Ground floor bar/ dining area with kitchen. On the upper floors are 12 rental rooms and one large apartment. Rent 45,000 baht per month and no Key Money. 6 year lease. Sale Price: 2.8 million baht 0360/SLN – Beer Bar Located just off Walking Street in the heart of the ‘night life’ action. 3 + 3 lease. Rent 50,000 baht per month with Key Money payable every 3 years. Sale Price: 2.75 million baht

0363/SLN – Bar Recently refurbished bar located in Central Pattaya. Rent 25,000 baht per month and No Key Money. Sale Price: 3 million baht 0366/SLN – A Go Go Bar Located in busy nightlife area. Busy bar with excellent reputation earning good profits Key Money is paid with a good long lease. Rent is only 44,000 baht per month. Sale Price: 3.5 million baht 0359/SLN – Restaurant/Bar Double, single storey shop house located in South Pattaya opposite a large hotel. Caters for both western and Thai food. Extremely cheap rent, which has been fully paid till September 2012.Sale Price: 3.5 million baht 0284/SLN – Bar with Rooms 3 storey double shop house located in the heart of the ‘night life’ action on Soi 6 Beach Road. Ground floor bar which was totally refurbished in January 2010. 6 rooms and one large apartment on the upper floors. Rent 30,000 baht per month. Key Money has been paid till December 2011. Sale Price: 3.65 million baht 0312/SLN – Restaurant. Located on busy road in ‘high foot traffic’ area. Seating capacity for 75+ diners with external bar and terrace area. Double shop house with 8 rooms on the upper floors. Rent 60,000 baht per month. Sale Price: 4.2 million baht 0269/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 3 storey double shop house, located in busy ‘night life’ area of North Pattaya. Large ground floor bar with external seating area and 7 rental rooms above. Very profitable. Sale Price: 4.9 million baht 0356/SLN – Lounge Bar with Rooms, Office Suite & large apartment – double, 4 storey shop house – located on 3rd Road in Central Pattaya. Tastefully decorated and furnished ground floor Lounge Bar with Jacuzzi suite. 2nd floor – 3 large ensuite bedrooms all with air con. 3rd Floor offices with meeting room. Top floor 120sqm 1 bedroom apartment with en suite & air con. Good lease available – No Key Money. 60,000 baht per month

rent. Sale Price: 5.2 million baht Owner finance available 0374/SLN – Bakery Located in Central Pattaya. Ground floor shop and bakery. Second floor air-con store room. 3rd and 4th floor offices and living accommodation. 50% partnership 3 million baht Sale Price: 5.2 million 0283/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 4 – storey double shop house with large ground floor bar and 10 rental rooms. Located between South and Central Pattaya close to night life area. Profitable business ready for immediate transfer. Rent is 45,000 baht per month payable 6 months in advance. Sale Price: 6.25 million baht 0358/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 3 – storey triple shop house – located in Jomtien. Ground floor bar with kitchen facilities. 9 en suite bedrooms and 4 staff rooms on upper floors. Rent only 35,000 baht per month and No Key Money. Good profitable business. Sale Price: 6.5 million baht 0324/SLN – Bar with Rooms 4 interconnected shop houses located in Jomtien. Large ground floor bar with 16 bedrooms & staff dormitory, Sale Price: 6.5 million 0372/SLN – Massage Shops. Two massage shops both located in Central Pattaya earning good profits. The business was established 5 years ago and has gone from strength to strength increasing profits every year. Foot and traditional Thai massage are offered along with Jacuzzi and sauna facilities. Included in the sale is a Thai registered Limited Company enabling any potential buyer to apply for a work permit. Sale Price: 6.9 million baht 0377/SLN – Bar & Guesthouse 4 storey, triple shop house located on in a ‘high foot traffic’ area of Central Pattaya. Ground floor bar and shop with 16 rental rooms on the upper floors. The rooms have enjoyed 90% occupancy over the last 12 months. Rent is 125,000 baht per month and No Key Money. This is a very sound business opportunity. Sale Price: 7.95 million baht

18 Pattaya One LAND FOR SALE Land for Sale. 11 Rai in Jomtien Area, only 10 million per rai. For viewing please call us at: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Land for Sale. 20 Rai in Soi Hua-Yai, only 8 Kilometers from Sukhumvit Road and 70 meters from the main road, perfect for small housing project. For quick sale, grab our cheapest offer, only 500,000 baht per rai. Nothing cheaper than this! To view please call: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Land for Sale. 4 Rai in Soi Hua-Yai, 7.5 Kilometers from Sukhumvit Road, next to the main road in soi, perfect idea for a big house suitable not only for a big family, but for small family as well. For quick sale, we’re selling it for only 1.5 Million Baht per rai. For viewing please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Land for Sale. 50 Rai in Boput Area at Samui Island. Best idea for investment. For quick sale, only 8 Million Baht. Please call us at 081 334 5291 for viewing. Land for Sale. Beach front, in Baan Chang area, 3-4 Rai per plot, price started from 5 Million Baht only. For viewing please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Land for Sale. 2 Rai in soi Wat Yan ( Budha Mountain ), 8 Kilometers from Sukhumvit Road, we’re selling it for only 2 Million Baht. For viewing please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. HOUSE FOR SALE The Best Low Price Ever. A 3-storey Spectacular Designer Townhouse located near the Royal Cliff Hotel. Have 2 big bedrooms, 3 luxury bathrooms (master with jacuzzi). Top of the line European Kitchen. Fitted with amazing wardrobes and other built-in furniture. Furnished including T.V, expensive sofa, dining table. Equipped with alarm system. Only 6 Million Baht. Great Offer! This townhouse + a nicely decorated studio unit in Khieng Talay, both for only 6.5 Million Baht. Call us at: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. For Quick Sale! Only 11 Million Baht. A spacious and well furnished 90 sq. wah house. Have 3 bedrooms, living room. European kitchen, private pool. Located in Soi Kao Talo, only 10 minutes drive from Lotus South Pattaya. For viewing, please call us at 081 334 5291 pr 081 357 7491. Gorgeous Houses for Sale and Investment. Absolutely all brand new houses, in a modern high quality and extremely nice tropical villa project. With underground cables, private pool, furnished. Located in Naklua Area. Only a few minutes away from Pattaya, very convenient, no hassle on driving around the city. Accessible to public transportations. Ready to move in. Price starts from 12 Million

1 - 15 January 2011 Issue 7

Fun Town’s most vibrant Baht. To view, please call: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Truly 25% discount OFF the original price. Magnificent and Fabulous Beach Side Living at a very low price. You can design and build your own house on the remaining plots. Hurry there are only 10 remaining plots left. Plots range from 520 sqm to 680 sqm. Price starts at 7 Million Baht. Call now at: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Beautiful Family House Very spacious house in Soi Siam Country Club, with big swimming pool in well kept garden. 3 Beds,3 baths and large lounge. Quality furnished throughout, European kitchen, high security alarm system and electric gate (only 800 meters from Sukhumvit Road) Don’t miss this one!! CONDO FOR RENT Two Captivating Condos for Rent. Private Beach on North Pattaya, 64 sqm, 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1 living room, with balcony, 24 hr security, swimming pool, furnished. For only 25,000 Baht per month. For viewing, please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Stylish Condo for Rent at Khieng talay (near Cozy Beach) 40 sqm on 5th flr (have mountain view). Good size kitchen and bathroom. Totally renovated with all brand new equipment and furniture. Price is 10,000 Baht per month. Tel: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Best Quality beachfront Condo for Rent. Stunning sea view and private beach in North Pattaya, 105 sqm, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, living room, with large balcony, 24hr security, swimming pool, furnished. Price at 30,000 Baht per month. For viewing, please call: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. CONDO FOR SALE Stylish Condo for Rent at Khieng talay (near Cozy Beach) 40 sqm on 5th flr (have Mountain View). Good size kitchen and bathroom. Totally renovated with all brand new equipment and furniture. For only 1.3 Million Baht. Tel: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. For Quick Sale! Condo for only 3 Million Baht. Located at Wong Amart Beach. Luxurious Studio, 53 sqm at high floor, fully furnished with builtin furniture. For viewing please call at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. An Amazing Panoramic view in Baan-Am-Pur, only 10 minutes drive and 8 kilometers from Big C in South Pattaya. Located on the 14th flr, 105 sqm, 1 bedroom, living room, furnished with European designs, 2 balconies, 24hr security, big swimming pool. Price for quick sale, only 7 Million Baht. Tel: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. FOR SERIOUS BUYERS ONLY.

Fascinating Penthouse at Wong Amart Beach in a Low Rise Condominium for Quick Sale!!! For only 18 Million Baht, 260 sqm, two levels, with great interior designs, a spacious living area, executively decorated, breath taking sea view, just 1 minute walk to Wong Amart Beach and accessible to everywhere, good facilities are available. For viewing please call at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Top Quality Condominium! In Foreign Name started from only 4.2 Million Baht. We have several units from 64 sqm-120 sqm Have studio,1 bedroom,2 bedrooms, and also penthouse with sea view, fully furnished and un furnished, Nakual location, Owner financing can arrange (will consider payment terms of up to 8 months). To view, please call at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. The Perfect Destination. Absolutely brand new project with high standard quality. Feel the cool breeze in the modern tropical villas with only 49 units. There are 3 lovely designs of family home to choose from, with 3 bedrooms, 3 restrooms, underground cabling and with private pool. Being located off Sukhumvit Road, driving to and from Bangkok is so convenient and also without the hassle of driving through the city of Pattaya which is only few minutes away, getting in and out Pattaya is easy with several kinds of public transportation available. Price starts from 12 Million Baht. For

viewing please call: 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Great Opportunity for Low Season! Only 5 Units Left!!! For Quick Sale only 3.8 Million Baht. New 5 Star Condominium at Jomtien Area, 96 sqm. Have 1 bedroom, 1 living room, 2 air-cons, kitchen, 1 bathroom and 1 toilet. Slightly furnished, accessible to everywhere. To view, please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Majestic Sea View and Private beach in North Pattaya, Laem-Chabang view, 137 sqm, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, unfurnished, big living room, with a large balcony, 24hr security, swimming pool, unfurnished. Only 12 Million Baht. Please call us at 081 334 5291 or 081 357 7491. Condo on Wongamat Beach Great unobstructed sea views to Koh Larn, Spaciously set out in 163 sqm. 1 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, big living room, European kitchen and decorated and furnished throughout Very quiet location with all condo facilities. For quick sale @ 12.9 Million Baht. Condo on Wongamat Beach Sea views face to Laem Chabang Spaciously set out in 125 sqm. 2 bedrooms, 2bathrooms, big living room, European kitchen and decorated and furnished throughout Very quiet location with all condo facilities. For quick sale @ 8.5 Million Baht.

Where do you find us? FOODLAND SUPERMARKET, Central Pattaya Rd CARREFOUR SUPERMARKET, Central Pattaya Rd TOPS SUPERMARKET, Central Pattaya Rd FOODMART SUPERMARKET, Thappraya Road, Jomtien In front of KASIKORN BANK, Soi 3 Beach Rd, Jomtien All 17 SE-ED BOOKSTORES (eg, Carrefour, Central Pattaya Rd; Tukcom, South Pattaya Rd; Tesco-Lotus, North Pattaya Rd) TESCO-LOTUS convenience store, Soi Khao Talo NORTH PATTAYA BUS STATION newsagent Bookazine, Bangkok Hospital Pattaya, North Pattaya Most outdoor news vendors from Naklua to Jomtien Selected 7-Eleven and Family Mart convenience stores Free on-line at: (as a free download in PDF format)

1 - 15 January 2011 Issue 7

Fun Town’s most vibrant

advertisers Be a part of our success

Since Pattaya One’s first edition, only three months ago, we have had well over 700,000 individual page reads and over 250,000 individual readers on the Pattaya One News site and about 24,000 downloads on the Thai Visa website, as well as tens of thousands of reads of the individual Pattaya One columns. These figures are verifiable. Our readership is truly local, national and global and we – and our advertisers - are delighted with

the reaction to our paper, its internet readership and the positive feedback we have received so far to both online and hard copies. All the internet copies hosted on Pattaya One News and the Thai Visa sites site carry our advertising, so our internet readers are also viewing our advertiser’s copy as well. We are constantly trying to improve the paper, but our print copies are disappearing fast

wherever we put them, and we circulate all 5,000 copies in Pattaya. Advertisers, if you want to make your advertising budget go further, and to reach a huge local, national and international readership with Pattaya One, please contact Howard on 087 747 8555 or email to find out more about what we know to be the most competitive rates in town. Be a part of our success.

Pattaya One 19

20 Pattaya One

MONDAY QUIZ LEAGUE 1 BOWling green 2 PalMerS 3 CHeerS 4 OFFSHOre Bar 5 tHe lOnDOner 6 riSing SUn 7 nOM'S Bar 8 nerVOUS WreCk 9 W. tankie 10 legenDS

1 - 15 January 2011 Issue 7

Fun Town’s most vibrant

6 December 2010 email: 25 Oct 01 nov 08 nov 15 nov 22 nov 29 nov 06 Dec 13 Dec 20 Dec total total Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Sc. Pts Score Points 94 84 92 86 92 88 82 80 82 78

12 5 10 6 10 7 4 2 4 1

76 80 77 80 67 66 74 74 60 64

7 12 8 12 4 3 6 6 1 2

77 86 70 70 67 76 74 70 59 63

10 12 6 6 3 8 7 6 1 2

92 92 78 76 78 70 70 54 56 53

12 12 8 6 8 5 5 2 3 1

86 90 80 78 73 78 81 82 70 49

10 12 6 5 3 5 7 8 2 1

86 72 76 66 68 64 58 66 56 44

12 8 10 6 7 4 3 6 2 1

76 72 72 74 72 72 68 64 54 50

12 8 8 10 8 8 4 3 2 1

88 92 88 77 78 85 70 73 85 43

10 12 10 4 5 7 2 3 7 1

675 668 633 607 595 599 577 563 522 444

85 81 66 55 48 47 38 36 22 10

Percentage correct by round geog. Sport History Movies Science reading general all Average Team this week. 69.3% 61.4% 77.9% 87.1% 80.7% 90.0% 78.8% 77.9% Total: 77.9

R1Q4: Q: Which two stations on the London Underground are the closest together? A: Leicester Square & Covent Garden. Cheers appealed for Embankment and Charing Cross. From Wikipedia: The shortest distance between adjacent stations - by rail - is the 260 metres (280 yd) between the Leicester Square and Covent Garden stations on the Piccadilly Line. The shortest distance between two stations is between Charing Cross and Embankment, a distance of 100m (109 yards), which is stated on many tube maps. Presumably the distance between Charing Cross and Embankment is longer by rail. As the question did not state "by rail" or "as the crow flies", I will accept both answers - 2 points to Cheers. R1Q6: Q: The Arafura Sea lies between which two land masses? A: Australia and New Guinea. Nom's and The Rising Sun appealed for Australia and Indonesia, and Legends for Australia and East Timor. The Arafura Sea lies off Australia's northern coast, between Kakadu and West Papua. It is to the east of East Timor, so that is wrong, and as the question asked for "land masses", Indonesia is incorrect, as it is a group of islands. Appeals denied. R2Q5: Q: Who was the only female to win the BBC sports personality of the year in the 1990s? A: Liz McColgan. Palmers appealed for Sally Gunnell. According to Wikipedia, McColgan won the award in 1991. Gunnell came third in 1992, and was runner-up in 1993 and 1994, but never won the title. Appeal denied. R3Q3: Q: Why was the city of Kokura fortunate to have inclement weather on August 11th 1945? NB Be specific. A: Original target for Nagasaki or 2nd A-Bomb (must mention which bomb). Nom's appealed for "Alternative A-Bomb dropped". As this doesn't mention either Nagasaki or 2nd bomb, I cannot allow it. R5Q5: Q: How many centimetres are the equivalent of one hand, the measurement used on horses? A: 10. Cheers, Rising Sun and Nom's all appealed for 10.16. From Wikipedia: A hand (or handbreadth) is a unit of measurement of length equal to 101.6 millimetres (4 in). They are quite correct, 2 points to those teams mentioned.

sudoku answers

No matches next week because of Christmas/New Year. Next matches 3rd January 2011: Legends vs. Londoner, Nom's vs. Bowling Green, Palmers vs. Offshore, Rising Sun vs. Nervous Wreck, W. Tankie vs. Cheers.


5 January 2011 Cheers Offshore The Londoner Bowling Green Nervous Wreck The Bunker Rising Sun Palmers W. Tankie Queen Victoria Bye Shagwell Mans.

12 January 2011 Bowling Green Bye The Bunker The Londoner Cheers Nervous Wreck Offshore W. Tankie Rising Sun Queen Victoria Shagwell Mans. Palmers

19 January 2011 The Londoner Cheers Nervous Wreck Offshore Palmers Bowling Green Queen Victoria Shagwell Mans. W. Tankie Rising Sun Bye The Bunker

26 January 2011 Bowling Green Queen Victoria The Bunker Palmers Cheers Bye Nervous Wreck W. Tankie Offshore The Londoner Shagwell Mans. Rising Sun

2 February 2011 The Londoner Nervous Wreck Palmers Cheers Queen Victoria The Bunker Rising Sun Bowling Green W. Tankie Shagwell Mans. Bye Offshore

9 February 2011 Bowling Green Shagwell Mans. The Bunker Rising Sun Cheers Queen Victoria The Londoner W. Tankie Nervous Wreck Bye Offshore Palmers

16 February 2011 Bowling Green W. Tankie Palmers Nervous Wreck Queen Victoria Offshore Rising Sun Cheers Shagwell Mans. The Bunker Bye The Londoner

23 February 2011 The Bunker Bowling Green Nervous Wreck Queen Victoria Offshore Rising Sun Palmers The Londoner Shagwell Mans. Cheers W. Tankie Bye

2 March 2011 Bowling Green Nervous Wreck The Bunker Offshore Cheers W. Tankie The Londoner Shagwell Mans. Palmers Queen Victoria Rising Sun Bye

9 March 2011 Cheers Bowling Green Nervous Wreck Rising Sun Offshore Shagwell Mans. Queen Victoria The Londoner W. Tankie The Bunker Bye Palmers

16 March 2011 The Bunker Cheers Offshore Bowling Green Queen Victoria Bye Rising Sun The Londoner Shagwell Mans. Nervous Wreck W Tankie W. Palmers

23 March 2011 Bowling Green The Londoner The Bunker Nervous Wreck Offshore Cheers Palmers Rising Sun Queen Victoria W. Tankie Shagwell Mans. Mans Bye

30 March 2011 The Londoner The Bunker Nervous Wreck Cheers Palmers Shagwell Mans. Queen Victoria Rising Sun W. Tankie Offshore Bye Bowling Green

6 April 2011 Bowling Green Palmers The Bunker Bye Cheers The Londoner Offshore Nervous Wreck Rising Sun W. Tankie Shagwell Mans. Queen Victoria

20 April 2011 The Londoner Offshore Palmers The Bunker Queen Victoria Bowling Green Rising Sun Shagwell Mans. W. Tankie Nervous Wreck Bye Cheers

27 April 2011 Bowling Green Rising Sun The Bunker Queen Victoria Cheers Palmers Nervous Wreck The Londoner Offshore Bye Shagwell Mans. W. Tankie

4 May 2011 Palmers Offshore Queen Victoria Cheers Rising Sun The Bunker Shagwell Mans. Bowling Green W. Tankie The Londoner Bye Nervous Wreck

11 May 2011 The Bunker Shagwell Mans. Cheers Rising Sun The Londoner Bye Nervous Wreck Palmers Offshore Queen Victoria W. Tankie Bowling Green

18 May 2011 Bowling Green The Bunker Cheers Shagwell Mans. The Londoner Palmers Queen Victoria Nervous Wreck Rising Sun Offshore Bye W. Tankie

25 May 2011 Nervous Wreck Bowling Green Offshore The Bunker Queen Victoria Palmers Shagwell Mans. The Londoner W. Tankie Cheers Bye Rising Sun

1 June 2011 Bowling Green Cheers The Bunker W. Tankie The Londoner Queen Victoria Palmers Bye Rising Sun Nervous Wreck Shagwell Mans. Offshore

8 June 2011 Bowling Green Offshore Cheers The Bunker The Londoner Rising Sun Nervous Wreck Shagwell Mans. Palmers W. Tankie Bye Queen Victoria

No quiz on 13th April because of Songkran Any other cancellations will be played at the end of the season If another team joins in they will replace the 'Bye'

Fixture list pprinted: 23 December 2010

1 - 15 January 2011 Issue 7

Fun Town’s most vibrant

That’s Not What I Meant! Now that there are thousands of unattached, lonely men in town and I have a wider audience, it is the opportune time to pass on some valuable advice. I can offer guidance on a whole range of subjects but this advice is for those men looking for more permanency in the Land of Smiles; those who, for whatever insane reason, seek to build a lasting monument to their stupidity in Thai bricks and mortar. Yes folks, there are many foreign men longing to build a house or buy a condo in Thailand. I admit, there are a few success stories, but in most cases, success came at a price. That price is diligence, patience and perseverance. Let me explain with three examples. Tony decided to build a house on his girlfriend’s land up in Korat. It was not going to be an extravagant house and it was well within his budget. He did the right thing and made sure he had a legal, irrevocable 30-year lease in his name on the property so, if they ever split up, her family could not throw him

out of his home or sell it from under him. So far so good. Tony and Lek agreed to the house plan with Tony having one stipulation; it had to have a farang toilet, not a squat Thai facility. Just as the house was ready for the plumbing to go in, Tony drove to the city and purchased a very nice porcelain pedestal to be installed in his almost completed bathroom. Then he made a BIG mistake. He had to leave the country on business for a couple of weeks so left everything in the hands of the builders who assured him the house would be finished by the time he returned. And it was. And it was beautiful. As Lek proudly showed him through their new home and the furnishings she had bought, he made his way to

the bathroom to see how his farang toilet looked. It was installed and in perfect working order … except for one thing. It has been recessed into the ground and the seat was at floor level. His beautiful pedestal was now a farang squat toilet! Max thought the ceiling in his condo was too high and decided to have a cosy false ceiling installed with new lighting to match. He also wanted the room repainted and organised a contractor for both jobs. To explain to the contractor exactly what he required, he drew a design in pencil on the wall which was going to be painted anyway. Drawing lines and pointing to the ceiling he felt sure the nodding Thai man knew what he wanted. It would take a full day, Max was told. Then he made a BIG mistake. Not wanting to be around while the work was going on and not wanting to stay in the condo overnight with the smell of fresh paint permeating the room, he arranged to stay with a friend for the night. Next day, around noon, he went back to his condo to see how it all looked. He opened the door and almost fainted. The false ceiling was so low only a Hobbit could live there! He could not stand upright in his living room. Furious, he called the puzzled contractor who came right over. It seemed that, when he was explaining about the false ceiling he drew one horizontal line too many on the wall, and the contractor took that as the required level for the ceiling. When he shouted, “What the hell have you done!” the contractor gave him one of those ‘well you’re the stupid farang’ looks.

Pattaya One 21 Peter built a nice house not far from Pattaya for what seemed a very reasonable price quoted by the builder. He checked the progress every two or three days over a period of about three months. Finally, the day arrived when he could move in so he packed up all his meagre possessions from his rented apartment and drove to his new home. Checking the outside, all looked perfect. He checked inside and once again, the finish was immaculate. He smiled, took his electric jug out of a box, filled it with bottled water and plugged it in to make himself a nice cup of coffee. It didn’t work. After several attempts at several power points he made a note to call the builder up and get him to fix them. Then he went into the lounge and turned on his state-of-the-art airconditioning unit. It didn’t work either. Peter concluded that the power had not been connected. He called the builder. The builder’s phone was also not connected. He decided to have a shower then go out to confront the builder in person. He undressed, got into the shower and turned the tap. No water. That was the last straw and he angrily drove to the builder’s office. The guy wasn’t there and the office was locked. He asked around and was told the guy had returned to Korat leaving unpaid rent, unpaid workers and no forwarding address. With no other option, Peter went to another building contractor and explained his emergency. The guy accompanied him to the house and made a thorough inspection before giving Peter the bad news. No, the power was not connected because there was no electrical wiring in the house whatsoever. All the power points and lights were not connected to anything. There was no water because there was no plumbing; no water pipes or drainage pipes of any size or length and the taps were just fastened to the walls. Peter then understood why the house had been so cheap. A builder can save a lot of money when he doesn’t pay for electricians and plumbers. I have plenty of other true examples but do you get the point? As a foreigner in Thailand, if you build or renovate anything you have to do due diligence before the work starts and be on hand every day to oversee the progress. It is far cheaper than just turning up one day screaming, “That’s not what I meant!”

22 Pattaya One

Fun Town’s most vibrant

Obituary Nicky Falconer 1949-2010

A few years ago I met a couple of wonderful guys from Carlisle here on the Darkside of Pattaya. Nicky Falconer and Stuart Alexander had been friends from their school days in England and had been pretty much inseparable ever since. Their adventures took them all over the world and many a yarn was shared, in many a bar, over many a glass on many a night. Not always remembered the morning after, but usually recounted again at some later stage. Their customary greeting was a slap on the back and a warm, “Hello Son.” In their working lives they differed hugely. Stuart taught in Carlisle all his life while Nicky made his fortune in many different fields from hotels and nightclubs, with Stuart moonlighting as a bouncer, to beds -selling them that is- in a number of countries, but mainly in Spain where he lived for a number of years before settling in Thailand. Like many double acts they were also quite different characters. Nicky was the tall, handsome, somewhat reserved one, while Stuart was the larger than life, jolly raconteur, but they were great company. Then, about two years ago in a bar in Pattaya, Stuart suffered a massive heart attack and died in Nicky’s arms. Nicky was overcome with grief but, as his only close friend in Thailand, he was left to attend to Stuart’s affairs. Stuart’s passing left a huge chasm in Nicky’s life. Not only had he lost his best friend but also the other half of the act. He literally had to start again. Over the next year, although he was still a very private person, we all got closer to him, and I believe he found a new confidence. As well as opening up personally he also opened a golf bar with his girlfriend Panita. Nicky was never one to sit still for long as could be seen by the way he created the bar; no detail was too small to get his full attention and it was clear that this energy and enthusiasm was key to his success in business. It is a reflection of his hard work and popularity that has made Panita’s the success it is today.

Nicky Falconer 1949-2010 Nicky was also a brave man and when cancer was tragically diagnosed nine months ago he fought it hard. So determined was he that only four weeks after losing a lung he was out on the golf course at his favorite Siam Country Club. Sadly courage was not enough and Nicky Falconer lost his battle at home in England with his family around him on Friday 17th December. He was only sixty-one. Our sympathies go out to all his many friends and family and particularly to his mum and daughter, who it was my pleasure to meet on their visit here just prior to his return home, and to Jayn who I know loved him dearly. We shall miss him too, particularly his Siam members golfing group from the bar, his many friends from the bars around the lake, the staff and caddies at Siam, the pool team, Geoff Couch who has known him longest out here, Claude Heuza, who was an original member of the Friday Moules Club at Jean-Claude’s, dear Cathy Doody who helped him so much in his last days in Thailand and selflessly accompanied him on his final flight home, his lovely Panita who misses him more than we can know, and of course myself. If Nicky has made it to another place there’s one large person who surely will be there to greet him with glass in hand, a smile a mile wide, and a welcoming “Hello Son.” God bless you Nicky. Mickey Leighton On Friday 7th January we are gathering to celebrate Nicky’s life at Panita’s Bar from 6.30pm. All will be most welcome.


music for the hot city

1 - 15 January 2011 Issue 7

1 - 15 January 2011 Issue 7 Ode to a Haggis: As I noted in the last issue, the popular Offshore beer boozer in Soi X-zyte (off Third Road) will be holding its annual Robbie Burns night on 25 January with the official program starting at 8:30pm. By the time you read this, the 120 tickets for this unique event should have been snapped up by people of Scottish heritage and those who like to dress in fetching tartan outfits. The 2011 event celebrates the 252nd birthday of Scotland’s most famous poet and the man who brought the world the New Year’s Eve anthem Auld Lang Syne. The main part of the supper will consist of Haggis, neeps and chappit tatties, which, in English, is Haggis, turnips and potatoes. The turnips are being flown in from Scotland. The evening is open to all Offshores’ usual customers and anyone else who would like to observe the cultural aspects of a country which has given the world William Wallace, Adam Smith, Mary Queen of Scots and the Bay City Rollers. For more information please call mine host, the genial Bob Lawrence, on 089 4011131 or drop in to the Offshore Bar in Soi X-zyte. A real watering hole: The Club Oasis go-go (corner of Soi Buakhow and Soi Chaiyapoon) will be celebrating its fourth anniversary with a party on Thursday night 30 December. Although the den is always busy this party is more of a thank you for their many regulars and will feature a spitting pig and other goodies for patrons who wander by the chrome pole palace around 8:00pm onwards. The usual happy hour deals will apply: the two for the price of one house liver wasters at 100 baht has to be one of the best in Fun Town. I know a couple of people who spend an evening or two every week reducing their liver function by way of the happy hour deal while ogling the 40 or so dancing damsels scattered about the den. If only they knew: There is an assumption among many bums on bar stools that the owners of the bars, be they foreigners or Thais, are in the business of obtaining as many bar fines for their working ladies as possible, as this leads to greater profits. There are even a few bar owners who believe this. The reality is completely the opposite. Bar owners live off the earnings of alcohol consumption not (illegal) prostitution. The best result in financial terms for any bar owner is to have a plethora of good quality mattress actresses working in their establishment, with the majority of these remaining un-barfined until as late as possible on any given evening. That way, when prospective punters come to the bar they are likely to stay for a drink or sixty because of the tunnel vision on show. These

Pattaya One 23

Fun Town’s most vibrant

N ghtmarch By Duncan Stearn

damsels will, in turn, make some money because of the commission they receive on over-priced lady drinks. So, when a bar has the numbers of its primary attraction depleted rapidly because of bar fines, the chances of keeping the joint full with imbibers is severely reduced. This is one of the reasons why so many bars have what appear to be outrageously expensive bar fines during the Christmas-New Year period. The aim is to discourage punters from bar fining the staff. Whether the damsels who work in the dens and beer boozers are aware of this I don’t know. Nowadays, they are increasingly encouraged to opt for operating in a short-time environment and many seem to have embraced this idea with a passion, realizing they can make more money. Prisoners of more than Zenda: After much hype and fanfare the Alcatraz go-go opened on Walking Street in early December. The joint is huge in terms of size, which is going to cause problems after high season I would think. The owners have created a theme and stuck with it all the way, although I suspect the whole faux prison concept brings back a few too many memories for many punters. Not the kind of nostalgia many would be looking for, especially since the serving wenches, dressed in drab brown, are equipped with real handcuffs; I know, because one of them decided I looked dodgy enough to be locked in the bracelets. The place is arrestingly clean, bright, and fresh, unlike its namesake. The dancing damsels are broken into three groups. There are coyote gyrators in short orange shorts and wrap shirts with the word ‘guilty’ stenciled on the back. The ‘guilty’ might well be right as a number were a little bit too much on the ‘healthy’ side and need to experience a prison diet for a few weeks. The downstairs dancers are way overdressed for a go-go bar, in black and white striped tops and black bikinis. The chains on their wrists keep with the theme, which is good, as are the large numbers of their tunics (007 for example), but the outfits need some serious ‘sexing up’. Upstairs is what might be termed the solitary confinement room where a cage is in the centre and inside are dancers whose clothing has slipped to reveal the ravages of prison life. This section of the den is nicely appointed and more comfortable than the ground floor.


Between dancers, coyote girls, serving staff and hostesses (dressed in serious black) there must have been 70 or more people on the payroll. Given the investment in the joint and the huge staff required to make it look busy, it’s no surprise the drinks prices are over the top. Liver wasters at 150 baht are designed for tourists, not expats and regulars, and come May this year they may find life getting a bit tough on the financial bottom line. Especially if the dancers remain almost fully clothed. Just around the corner, Angelwitch (Soi 15), charges 125 baht for a liver waster and yet they have professionally choreographed shows and damsels with assets on show; Alcatraz has no shows and not much on display. Basically, well worth a look to experience the theme, but I doubt it will garner a sufficiently large crew of regular visitors. A yawning gap: Wandered into the Cavern go-go (Walking Street) at about 9:45pm on a Saturday night in December and was surprised to see there was more staff than customers. This is another themed joint (formerly Honey and then Sisterz) with about 20-25 dancers in various stages of attire, or lack thereof, and of varying ages, shapes, sizes and attractiveness. Nothing really wrong with the place except it lacks ambience and looks to be a one-drink den to be visited on irregular occasions. Didn’t last the distance: A number of go-go’s on Walking Street as well as other bars have closed their doors, right at the beginning of high season. A few more may well follow. Perhaps the most prominent of these is Club Boesche (Soi 16). It has been struggling

for the past year or so but in the second week of December staff turned up for work only to find the doors locked and bolted. One former employee claimed the dancers had not been paid. So, after five years, and at one point being acknowledged as one of the best chrome pole palaces in Fun Town, it looks all over. On Walking Street proper both the Powers and Cosy’s go-go’s have shut their doors. The pair is opposite each other, although this has nothing to do with their demise. Neither set the nightlife scene alight with Powers lasting nine months and Cosy’s just under 13 months. How long before the chop? The Relaxxx go-go in Soi 16 opened in late November as yet another in what is becoming an increasingly long line of failed places on the same benighted site. Formerly Babewatch, Taboo, Black and White, and Sin City, Relaxxx managed to take on some of the Club Boesche dancers who were left without a place of employment when that den suddenly shut up shop. If they hadn’t snared them I hate to think how few they would have had to caress the chrome poles. The only change to the place that I could see from its most recent incarnation is the removal of the entrance bridge. The forlorn Jacuzzi remains in a side corner and the joint looks in need of repair. Mind you, some of the dancing damsels were friendly in that ‘buy me dlink’ and empty your wallet way, a couple being just on legal age. Draft amber froth at 50 baht is the discounted libation of choice. Piece of Pith: Never wrestle with get dirty and the pigs love it.

" Voted Pattaya's

# 1 GoGo

2008 & 2009 "

SOI 15 Walking Street

24 Pattaya One

Fun Town’s most vibrant

1 - 15 January 2011 Issue 7

Atrocious weather led to the grounding and eventual destruction of a Thai warship during the Korean War On 7 January 1951 the Thai corvette HTMS Prasae was caught in a blinding snowstorm just over 100 kilometres behind the front lines of her United Nations (UN) allies on the east coast of the Korean peninsula. In freezing conditions the Prasae was hurled onto the shoreline near the village of Yang-yang and became stranded, leading to a frantic attempt at salvaging her before the practically defenceless vessel could fall into North Korean hands. At this point UN forces were in retreat after an estimated 400,000 Chinese ‘volunteers’ had joined the North Koreans in launching a counter-attack. In an effort to delay the advance, UN commanders had ordered naval vessels to operate as far inshore as possible to provide inland bombardment, despite the dreadful weather conditions. These orders had contributed to the grounding of the Prasae, one of four Thai warships sent to aid the UN war effort. The Prasae had been commissioned in April 1943 as the British warship HMS Betony, serving until March 1945 when she was loaned to the Indian Navy and recommissioned as HMIS Sind. She returned to the British in May 1946 but in 1947 was sold to the Thai navy and renamed Prasae.

Crash By the time supporting US naval units- including USS Endicott, Bolster, Comstock and Manchester began arriving- the Prasae had been subjected to severe damage from the pounding surf. Heavy swells had washed away on-deck equipment. The first US helicopter at the scene, flown by a man named John Thornton, was unable to raise any other vessel by radio contact. He put down near the stranded ship and his radio officer made contact with the US liaison officer aboard the Prasae who instructed the helicopter to go out to the Bolster and bring in a salvage officer named Lieutenant Dudley. A landing craft from the Bolster had earlier attempted to reach Prasae but had been shattered by the seas and the

Historical Feature By Duncan Stearn

Prasae grounded off Yang-yang

Thai crew ashore in freezing conditions

crew drowned. Thornton told the liaison officer North Korean troops were about one and a half kilometres away, entrenched behind a series of lowlying ridges. The biggest concern was how to keep the North Koreans away and salvage the Prasae in such treacherous weather conditions. Trying to put Dudley aboard the stranded Thai warship in 30-knot winds proved impossible. Two attempts were made and the second ended in disaster. A sudden wave struck the ship, which bucked and the helicopter, operating with the barest minimum of space, was sucked into the superstructure and crashed. The disintegration of the helicopter caused explosions of onboard ammunition and led to fires aboard the corvette. Amazingly Dudley escaped with only broken ribs while Thornton and his crewman also survived. Crewmen attempted to put out the fires with hoses, but the water pressure was limited. Other sailors valiantly took anti-submarine depth charges aft to prevent them blowing up. Trapped sailors jumped over-

board into the swirling and icy sea and struggled ashore, shivering in the sub-zero temperatures. By the afternoon the fires had dimmed and more rescue ships arrived. The Comstock, a Landing Ship Dock with heavy landing craft, sent a volunteer group of three crewmen, two doctors and a salvage officer who were fortunate to avoid being capsized as they reached the Prasae. They took off the injured who were transferred to the beach to be taken off by helicopter. Two Thais who had jumped into the water were injured and in shock. They were to die later. Of the other 34 Thais and Americans on the beach, 18 needed to be airlifted away as quickly as possible. Then the North Koreans began to move forward. Thai and US spotters on the Prasae relayed co-ordinates to the warships offshore who shelled the attackers. Despite heavy losses the North Korean kept advancing, knowing the fleet would have to cease fire soon or risk hitting their own men. A smart gunnery officer aboard a destroyer used his rapidfire anti-aircraft guns at the lead

Glendale (left) and Gallup handed over to Thailand in Yokosuka Harbour in Japan (courtesy US Navy All Hands collection)

Prasae in situ at Prasae River

North Korean elements, literally blowing them to pieces and forcing them to retreat. During the night the warships offshore kept firing bursts every 15 to 20 minutes. On the second day the Bolster tried to move closer but the weather became even worse. A blizzard made visibility zero. Prasae had been hurled further up on the sand and the landing craft was also severely damaged and rendered unusable. On the third day the boilers died and with it the heat. Fresh water ran out and supplies of everything were running low. The cold sapped the morale of the Thais. The weather finally broke on the fourth day and for 14 hours an attempt was made to drag the Prasae off the beach. The men were exhausted. That night the temperature dipped even further. By 12 January, the fifth day, many Thai sailors were suffering pneumonia and there was no choice but to abandon ship. Detonating charges were placed, the crew stepped onto the snow and sand and flown out to the Manchester. After the charges went off Prasae was then raked with gunfire from the warships offshore.

Replacements In October 1951 the United States transferred two frigates, the USS Glendale and USS Gallup to the Thai navy, the latter being renamed as HTMS Prasae, in honour of the vessel lost in the Korean conflict. The Glendale was renamed HTMS Tachin. The Gallup had been launched in September 1943 and served in the Pacific around New Caledonia, New Guinea and the Philippines before being de-commissioned in August 1945. The Gallup was transferred under a lend lease agreement to the Soviet Union but returned to US control in 1949, laying at the Yokosuka naval yard in Japan until brought back into service in October 1950 to serve in the Korean War. This second HTMS Prasae was decommissioned in June 2000 and in December 2003 placed on public display as a memorial at the mouth of the Prasae River in Rayong province.

Published and Edited by Singhanart Rullapak for Napasingh 108 Co. Ltd., 353/62 M.9, Nongprue, Banglamung, Chonburi 20150. Printed by Pattaya Printing Solutions, Jomtien, Nongprue, Banglamung.

Pattaya One Issue 7  

Issue 7 of Pattaya One, a new publication full of original content and fun articles.

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