Street Hype-pages-24_street hype-front page 9/14/12 12:38 AM Page 18
18• STREET HYPE • SEPTEMBER 1-18, 2012
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his is a new feature that will help readers seeking to connect with others. We cater to people seeking a serious and committed relationship or singles looking for fun, nostrings-attached dating.
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A few things about relationships
LIFE STYLE
Dear Divine Diva: our response to "Not Ungrateful in Brooklyn (December 20) missed the mark. Her boyfriend of eleven months is flying first class to Jamaica, but he's only paying for a coach ticket for her? I was a divorce lawyer for 31 years (now retired), so I know a few things about relationships. While Enton had no obligation to pay her way to Jamaica, once he invited her, he displayed a troubling character flaw. If he was going to pay her way, he should have paid for her to sit with him in first class. Her seat in coach is a warning sign: She'll always be in the back of the plane, the bus or his life. Of course buying a first class seat for the two of them is expensive, but if he's going to take her to his family's chateau, he should treat her as an equal -- or not do it at all. –Representing Brooklyn.
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Dear Representing Brooklyn: appreciate your viewpoint, one which is shared by many other readers. The
ADVICE COLUMN BY DIVINE DIVA
divinestreethype@gmail.com responses to that letter were an interesting mix. My newspaper readers comment:
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Dear Divine Diva: ot Ungrateful" is unbelievable! My husband cannot sit in coach unless he is at an exit row, and those seats aren't always easy to get. Because I'm short, I don't need the extra space and, if I am assigned an exit seat, I gladly give it up to a tall person. That woman will be in Jamaica (paid for!) by her boyfriend. I
would go in the baggage compartment for such an opportunity. -Happy To Trade Places
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Dear Happy To Trade Places: less-expensive option for long-legged fliers is to buy an extra coach seat , HOWEVER I’m only flying the same class as my man if we are traveling together. -Always Divine Diva
Basic Relationship Problems B uilding relationships is essential for having a fulfilling life, but – as we all know – it’s not without its problems. Even close friendships could have problems every now and then. That’s why it’s important to learn about relationship problems and how to overcome them. While there are many relationship problems that could happen, we can scale it down to just two. These are the basic problems that cause other problems in relationships.
1. Misunderstanding Misunderstanding is perhaps the most common problem in relationships. Sometimes your friends misinterpret what you do or say. Or it’s you who misinterpret them. Depending on the maturity of the people involved, such misunderstanding could be solved quickly or it could open the way to more serious problems. Misunderstanding is caused either by lack of quality or quantity in communication. You could spend a lot of time to communicate with your friends (for example, with your roommate), but if the quality of the communication is low then there is a good chance that misunderstanding will happen. The problem could also happen because you and your friend don’t communicate often enough. If both parties are busy, they may not have the chance to communicate what they need or want which may eventually lead to misunderstanding.
2. Selfishness Another common problem in relationships is selfishness. Perhaps both parties understand what the other party needs, but one or both of them are not willing to give it. They prefer to just keep it for themselves.
In this case, the problem is lack of action instead of lack of understanding. It takes time to build relationships but we may be too busy to provide time for others. While we can’t generalize the case, being busy could be a form of selfishness. Just wanting to be understood without trying to
understand is also a form of selfishness. These two basic problems cause many other relationship problems. Being judgmental, for instance, is often caused by selfishness. We want others to meet our expectations and we blame them when they don’t. Anger could be caused my misunderstanding. You may think that your friend does something bad to you while she actually doesn’t intent to. Perhaps she does you good but you misinterpret it. Misunderstanding causes us to misinterpret positive as negative. These two relationship problems may seem simple, but solving them requires serious effort. It may take years or even lifetime to learn how to solve them. But being aware of them is a good first step because we can’t win a war if we don’t even know the enemy. Source: www.ivillage.com
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