The View from the “Other” Side
Real Men Clergy Spouses Unite By: Ray White Friend of MTSO, Spouse of Laura White
Support Women’s Rights!
I have to admit I borrowed the title for this article from a facebook group which I began following several months ago. The group was designed as a place where clergy spouses can ask for prayer, post on events, share concerns and ask for wisdom from people who have been through the same situations. I must confess though that I have not felt comfortable to post or respond to any of the comments. Comments on this page usually begin with statements such as, “Okay girls, I have problem…” or “Alright ladies…”. I would like to respond by saying that I am not a girl or woman but I have something valuable to contribute. I would like to say, “I have been through this or yes, I would like to pray for you” but I have not had the strength to respond. To be honest, it is probably the first time in which I have experienced this sort of thing. I have always acknowledged the reality of my white male privilege but I was never fully aware of what that meant. I am not naïve enough to think that this small amount of feeling like the “other” lets me know what it feels like to be oppressed or marginalized but it has allowed me to more fully be aware of the privileges which have been offered to me simply because I was born white and male in the U.S.A. Over the past several years I have seen my wife struggle with the stereotypes and prejudices that come with being a clergy woman in rural Ohio. I have watched Laura with God’s help and her unending determination continue to overcome each obstacle. She continues to do what God has called her to do, which is to bring God’s word and love to a broken world even when that world does not always acknowledge her right to do so. My hope is that God will grant me the strength that she has shown. I want to have the strength to stand up for change; change in the way in which the world and the church view women, men, race and sexual orientation. I pray to be more patient when I am introduced as the “pastor’s wife”, or invited to a clergy spouse tea and bake sale. I am, also, more determined than ever to use my white male privilege to give voice to those who have no voice and to stand for equality for all of God’s children. "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." Barack Obama
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