I July 2019 status of the marriage. At times, the future couple and start spreading blessed environment of the Masjid is rumors, which sometimes lead to the left out and the Nikah is solemnized breakup of the couple or delaying it in the hall. for several years. The Shaikh or the Imam is only The couple should separately there to legalize the contract, and attend marriage classes before their to make sure he turns a blind eye to wedding, and register for various all the wrong going on around him. workshops offered in this regard. The serious lecture on the rights of Authentic literature can also be husband and wife in the Masjid is studied so that the couple makes replaced by gags and giggles by a a mental adjustment of what is humorous MC in the hall, and the expected of them after the Nikah. sacred atmosphere is very soon For boys in particular, your ten turned to one of merry-making and fishing buddies will be replaced by fun. Sometimes, the Imam is even one killer mermaid, so prepare for used as a rubber stamp to sanction it. Also remember that the ring band all the evil that takes place at these given at the time of engagement gatherings; and after the white is no license to see each other or envelope is safely tucked away in go out together before the Nikah. his pocket, he will even pose for a There will be ample time for that photoshoot! afterwards. Yes, we have taken our religion Now comes the big day. Keep for granted. And this is why on the it simple. Our most noble Prophet day when we are supposed to be Muhammad (peace be upon him) pleasing the Almighty the most, we told us that the wedding in which anger Him the most. We pay the the least amount of expenditure price for this many years thereafter is incurred, will have the most without even knowing it. Some blessings. He (peace be upon him) marriages end in messy divorces a also told us that the function to which short while thereafter, some couples the poor is not invited, is cursed. have endless financial, in-laws, So, let us compete in earning the addiction, extra-marital or family pleasure of the Almighty, and not by issues, whilst others go through so competing with the Jone’s. Never much depression and anxiety in their take a loan for a wedding. marriage that they wish they could Islam doesn’t place such a turn the clock back and would’ve burden on one’s shoulder. There is never married. Let’s not be foolish simply no need to pitch up at the hall and destroy our future lives for one in a hot-air balloon or in your distant day of pleasure. Do it right so the cousin’s yellow Ferrari. No need rest of your life can go right. to walk down the aisle with a R40 There is no mehndi night, belly 000- gown which you will never wear dancing night, meethu mauru thereafter, to the accompaniment of (sweetmeat) night, or bachelor night. haraam music. There are no lavish meals a week There is no need for a fiveor two before the nikah ceremony, course meal, photoshoots and and late nights of gossiping and making elaborate videos of the day smoking. Yes, family and friends for which half the people don’t end are welcome to visit and create an up paying. The function can be atmosphere of joy, but there is no held in a humble tent or a Masjid or elaborate occasion for this. In fact, community hall – there is no need the custom of delaying the wedding to hire out halls for as much as R50 for many months after the proposal 000- per day when Muslims around is also un-Islamic as Islam teaches the world are starving or fleeing for us to marry as soon as a suitable their lives from war-torn areas. partner is found. But extravagance is not the About a month is a reasonable only issue at weddings. The show time to prepare, not ten to twenty of outfits, intermingling of men months! The more the marriage and women and the mountains is delayed, the more attention the of makeup is even worse. Many families will pay to shopping and guests dress up as if they are getting planning a lavish wedding. It will married on the day, and some also give more time for mischief women apply so much make-up that makers to dig up the past of the a skyscraper can be built on their
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FEATURED I 23 face! For them, scarves are meant for the shoulders, not the heads! Some brides and grooms tend to be religious in their daily lives, but on the wedding day they throw caution to the wind. It’s also observed that some functions do have a partition to separate the ladies and the men, but as soon as the biryani is served, the floor crossing starts. This is called yo-yo partition – up down, up down! The competition peaks when the designer gifts, or kunchas, are displayed for all to see in the hall or in the bride’s home. Some gifts will have money made in the shape of trees, some will have expensive watches and exotic jewelry, some fruity perfumes and the latest outfits, whilst others will have grape juice in wine-shaped bottles and Swiss chocolates. It’s such shows of ostentation that invites burglars to break into one’s home on the wedding day. The above are just a few of our crimes committed on the wedding day. Apart from these crimes, we have the bad habit of arriving late as per “Indian Time” (two hours late) or according to “Arab Time” (five hours late). Never mind the cook, the children and the elderly, as well as the sickly and diabetics are greatly inconvenienced by this. Those who need to travel a great distance to return home or those who do not want to miss their Fajr prayers are also pained. Let us take heed of these factors and change our ways. For those who had a wedding reception in which some or all the above crimes were committed, there is a way out. Repent sincerely to the Almighty; as expiation, make sure that the same mistakes are not committed when you get your children married one day. Take it upon yourself to advise family and friends to keep their weddings simple. Read the life story of the Queen of Paradise, Sayyidah Fatima az-Zahra and the Pure Wives of the Prophet, and try to emulate their example of simplicity and piety. Above all, break the cycle by setting a good example. Finally, remember that weddings last only a day, but a marriage lasts a lifetime. Let’s put the same effort daily in our marriages as we put on our wedding day, and our lives will become heaven on earth – Ameen.