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SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS

DECEMBER 2019 – JANUARY 2020

The younger the better How to hike with a baby

Your time

The best gift for tamariki is time

On the road to nappy freedom Toilet training 101

Love and limits

Children need to feel they are loved

Cooking for a cause

Recipes that support women with breast cancer

The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc

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CALLING ALL MIDWIVES!! Pregnancy, Childbirth & Parent Education career opportunities

Due to our growing numbers, Parents Centre NZ Inc. have opportunities for midwives interested in facilitating our parenting programmes, including Antenatal, Baby & You and others. 46 Centres across NZ Contracted positions with flexible facilitation hours Support from the national support centre Career paths and professional development opportunities History and integrity Established and highly respected programme Opportunities to work at a national level on projects advocating for parents, families & midwifery services.

www.parentscentre.org.nz

Contact Liz Pearce to find out more: e.pearce@parentscentre.org.nz

www.parentscentre.org.nz


Subscribe & win

Subscribe or renew your subscription to Kiwiparent and go in the draw to WIN a Philips AVENT 4-in-1 Healthy Baby Food Maker valued at RRP $329.99! 1 years subscription to Kiwiparent (6 issues) is only $45 delivered to your door.

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Effortlessly steam, blend and serve healthy homemade baby meals with the Philips Avent 4-in-1 Healthy Baby Food Maker. Terms & conditions Subscribers must be New Zealand Residents. Offer ends midnight 29 January 2020. Only one entry to prize draw per subscriber. Gift not redeemable for cash. Random winner drawn and contacted by Parents The magazine of Parents Centre Centre1NZ Inc. Kiwiparent is the magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc.


Photo: Unsplash, Gift habeshaw

Features

In this issue

The younger, the better

Letters to the Editor...................................................4–5

Sonia Barrish.................................................................... 8–12

Baby on board – destination Peru Loren O’Sullivan............................................................14–18

If breastfeeding is natural, why can’t I do it?

Measles: What you need to know

Denise Ives.....................................................................34–38

Dr Nikki Turner..............................................................20–23

The best gift for tamariki is time

Parents Centre Pages............................................39–43

Amy de Vries.................................................................24–27

Find a Centre...................................................................44

Toilet training 101

Find out about Parents Centre..............................45

Diane Hurford................................................................28–32

Ask a CBE: Get your head in the game Hilary Jane Thorne........................................................46–49

Love and limits Keryn O’Neill..................................................................50–55

Onboard family fun Bluebridge......................................................................56–59

Go potty! Resene creative team.................................................62–63

Birth story: Two very different births Helen Pierce...................................................................64–67

Cooking for a cause Sweet Louise.................................................................68–73

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Product pages................................................................6–7

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Distinctly New Zealand books Upstart Press.................................................................60–61

Winners from the last issue.....................................75 Our funders...............................................................76–77 Our partners..............................................................78–79 Giveaways..........................................................................80


SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS

DECEMBER 2019 – JANUARY 2020

293

Ethical giving

The best gift for tamariki is time | pages 24–27 At this time of year, it can be easy to focus too much on the gift giving and push the basics to the side. We can set ourselves up with the expectation that we must purchase all the new, top-ofthe-line, whizz-pop items for our tamariki – but is that really what they want or need? Parents have a gift for their tamariki that does not cost anything, and that is their time.

Toilet Learning | pages 28–32 The words ‘toilet training’ can strike fear into the most intrepid parent, but summer is a great time to start that transition to freedom. Read some tried-and-true tips that will make life a little bit easier for mums, dads and carers, and can really help take the hassle out of wee accidents.

Love and limits | pages 50–55 How can we best nurture our children to help them realise their potential? While there is no one ‘right’ way to parent children, there are key things that babies and children of all ages need from their parents. One of the most important of these is feeling that they are loved.

Kiwiparent. Since 1954. The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc Editor

Publisher

Leigh Bredenkamp Ph (04) 472 1193 Mobile (0274) 572 821 leighb@e–borne.co.nz PO Box 28 115, Kelburn, 6150

Parents Centres New Zealand Inc Ph (04) 233 2022

Editorial Enquiries Ph (04) 233 2022 or (04) 472 1193 info@e–borne.co.nz

Advertising Sales Catherine Short Ph (04) 233 2022 x8805 c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

Design Hannah Faulke edendesign.nz

Proofing Megan Kelly

Subscriptions info@parentscentre.org.nz

Opinions expressed in the magazine do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centres. Generally material in this publication may be reproduced provided it is used for non-commercial purposes and the source is acknowledged. However, written permission must be sought from the editor. Kiwiparent is proud to support the WHO/UNICEF International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes adopted by the World Health Assembly in 1981.

ISSN 1173–7638

Printer

www.kiwiparent.co.nz

Caxton Design and Print

Particularly at this time of year, I am reminded of the impact that a kind gesture, word, action or caring connection can have. Simple acts of altruism can be life changing for those who serve throughout the year – teachers, midwives, police officers, firefighters, city council workers, the list is endless. A single loving action towards another person reminds us of who we are, what we believe and the importance of kindness. Those who are more altruistic produce higher levels of dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins – the trio of feel-good hormones – which are fantastic for mental wellbeing. This year, wonderful young people around the world have challenged us all to be more aware of the impact of climate change, so sustainable giving is something I am taking seriously. You may have heard about the ethical hierarchy of gifting. This is a fancy term for looking at ways of reducing the rush to spend into debt at this time of year and instead find ways to give altruistically without harming the environment. The internationally promoted hierarchy of gift giving suggests the following: „„ Give memories – first on the list, plan outings and experiences that will live in your child’s memory as well as in the moment. „„ G ive your time – nothing is more important to your child than your attention, so let them know that you are dedicating special time just to spend with them doing something they enjoy. „„ Upcycle – if you don’t have the time (or skill!) to make gifts from scratch, turn your hand to taking an unloved or worn out item and turning it into something wonderful. „„ Buy secondhand – it’s more sustainable, it’s cheaper and it’s a recycling system that directly helps everyone in your community. „„ Make – there is something magical about receiving homemade gifts that are an expression of your care. „„ Buy ethically – this is all about favouring ethical products like fair trade, organic or cruelty-free. This directly supports progressive companies and communities. „„ Buy new – there will always be a place for buying a sparkly new gift, but this is the last option on the list as it carries the biggest impact financially and in other ways, including impact on the environment. I wish you and your wha-nau all the peace of this festive season – and that you have plenty of time to spend with the people that matter most to you.

Kia tau te rangimarie As Salaam Alaikum Leigh Bredenkamp

The magazine of Parents Centre

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Letters

to the editor

The winning letter receives the complete Natural Instinct face care range, truly natural skincare products with active anti-ageing plant-based ingredients and 100% free from over 400 potentially harmful ingredients to you and the environment. Available from leading pharmacies. RRP $102.

Top Letter

Congratulations to the Top Letter winner Jenner Ballinger-Judd from Tauranga who will win a prize pack from Natural Instinct.

Top letter prize

Sell-out shows in Tauranga In September Tauranga Parents Centre hosted two sold-out events, with over 1,200 people coming to listen to the wonderful Nathan Wallis speak. Nathan's team was overwhelmed with the response and told me that we set a record with the fastest selling tickets Nathan has ever had, both within New Zealand and around the world! Our first event sold out within five days, causing us to schedule in an additional afternoon session, which sold out almost as fast! The feedback was overwhelmingly positive, with parents, caregivers and other attendees loving the relaxed and interactive nature of Nathan's presentation. We were all able to relate to the information and apply it to our own wha-nau situations, essentially helping us understand how critical the first 1,000 days of life are, as well as the importance of family dynamics, early childcare education and the role that plays in

Conscious parenting – want to know more? Check out upcoming programmes at your local Parents Centre: www.parentscentre.org.nz Browse through the resources here: www.skip.org.nz Join ‘Conscious Parenting’ pages and groups on Facebook online and read, read, read! 4Research kiwiparent

our children's future. As well as the parents, grandparents and families we also had a significant number of education professionals, and other childrelated industry workers. Because these events were so popular, Tauranga Parents Centre have teamed up with Nathan again, to hold another event in November, this time featuring all new information, covering the topic of brains and behaviour. This is another great opportunity for parents, wha-nau and professionals to better understand our children's brains and how to work most successfully with them while we navigate the many changes and challenges they face. Jenner Ballinger-Judd President, Tauranga Parents Centre


Bid to win a return family trip and your car on Bluebridge. Prize is valued at over $600.

all

Free

John Deere ride on from Baby On The Move

join us &

Woolbabe Sleeping Bag from The Sleep Store’

share Bid for a bargain this Christmas! This Christmas season Parents Centre New Zealand is holding their fourth annual online fundraising auction. Bidding starts from Thursday 28th November on Trade Me and closes on the evening of #GivingTuesday on 3rd December. #GivingTuesday is a global movement where businesses and individuals come together to give back and lend their support to charitable causes. Our pregnancy, childbirth and parent education programmes reach thousands of new and expectant families every year. However, we know that only 30% of new parents access antenatal education. When you consider that the first 1,000 days from conception are the most important in determining a child’s future outcomes, it is clear there is a need to reach many more parents at this critical time in their child’s life. We know that cost is a barrier for many people, so we want to significantly increase our reach with free classes in more communities around New Zealand. Funds raised in this year’s auction will support us with this goal.

a wealth of benefits with others Free stuff

Regular prize draws, free product samples, competitions to win, and tailored info emails for your stage.

Know how

Access a wealth of resources— all in one place! There’s useful information, links, contacts & more.

Connect

Find and interact with others at your stage. Ask questions. Give answers. Share your story or knowledge on our Facebook page!

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WIN! over

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Our annual auction also raises awareness of the vital work Parents Centre does supporting new parents around Aotearoa. Using Trade Me as our auction platform enables us to make this a nationwide event. People from all communities can support us this Christmas.

LY PRIZE D TH

$1500

As usual, we’ll have a mix of auction items from essentials for a new baby to items that make great Christmas gifts. With many items starting at a $1 reserve you might pick up a bargain! Bid for yourself or find a unique Christmas gift for a loved one. You can be confident your purchase is making a difference for Kiwi families this Christmas.

How can I bid? From 28th November to 3rd December

Every bid helps, so please support us by spreading the word, tell all your friends and family to check out the Parents Centres online auctions on Trade Me and share our posts on social media. Happy Bidding! 

simply join & enter at: bounty.co.nz RATING EB

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Visit www.trademe.co.nz and search parentscentrenz to find our listings and bid. Keep an eye on our social media throughout November for more details of the auction listings.

Y EAR S!

/bountypacksnz The magazine of Parents Centre

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Product

information

The Beco 8 baby carrier Designed for you to wear your baby any way you want, this ergonomic baby carrier is a combination of all the features your heart could desire. From infancy to toddlerhood, wear your little one facing in, out, on your hip or on your back. The Beco 8 is similar to the super popular Beco Gemini but is bigger and has a 20kg weight limit. www.thesleepstore.co.nz

When you most need TLC At a time when you most need some TLC, U by Kotex® Maternity Pads are cotton-like, soft, flexible, longer and a fraction wider – they also provide added protection when you're lying down. U by Kotex® are proud to continue the journey with you. Look out for a free sample of U by Kotex® Maternity Pads as part of your childbirth education course. www.ubykotex.co.nz

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The Shrunks Inflatable Toddler Bed is the perfect portable bed Little children often roll off traditional style airbeds, waking up cold and uncomfortable. But with the fantastic design and patented side rails on The Shrunks inflatable beds, it is nearly impossible to roll off. These beds have the patented Tuckaire™ design feature that allows standard fitted American cot size sheets to be tucked snugly in and around the inner air mattress of the bed, keeping the sheets off the floor. Constructed with the safest materials, The Shrunks Travel Beds are phthalates-safe, BPA-safe and lead-safe. A great addition to your camping equipment too! www.thesleepstore.co.nz

Help save our country’s carbon footprint… by hiring from Baby On The Move Not only do we hire car seats, we hire bassinets, wooden cots, portacots, strollers, buggies, highchairs, breast pumps, safety gates and so much more! We’ve been hiring for over 20 years, always using well-known quality brands. www.babyonthemove.co.nz

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Our best for swimming Just add water for worry-free water play. Huggies® Little Swimmers® Disposable Swimpants have easy-open sides to make poolside changes a breeze, so you can get back to having fun in the sun. www.huggies.co.nz

The magazine of Parents Centre

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The younger

the better

How to hike with a baby

“Just wait till the baby is born!” “As soon as the baby arrives you won’t be able to do that anymore.” “You’ll realise once you have kids for yourself why it’s not possible.” These were some of the comments we heard before our daughter was born – about lots of things, but mainly about tramping. Which is why I’ve decided to write about how it IS possible to go hiking and share some of our adventures as well! Bethany’s first peak bagged was at nine weeks old. She bagged Ben Lomond, and had her first nappy change over 1,700m ASL, as well as a feed and a nap. Her first night in a Department of Conservation (DOC) hut was Christmas Eve, when she was just two months old. Kids thrive outdoors. There’s so much to see, smell, hear, taste and touch. And the sooner you nurture this love and take your kids outside to explore, the more comfortable they will be outside, and the more they will want to be outside. So, here are some of the lessons we learnt, as well as what we did that worked well for us.

How do you choose your hikes? We did have to tone it down. It took till Bethany was closer to twelve months of age before we took

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her out on a multi-night tramp, as the arrival of winter did make us a bit more hesitant. But with more knowledge and experience now, I definitely think we could have taken her out on multi-nighters in winter earlier! We were used to picking huts with about a dozen visitors a year – but now we were picking the more popular trails, as we knew these would be better maintained. There are so many places to explore that return visits aren’t high on the priority list yet! The younger Bethany was, the easier distance was to cover. When she was little she just slept. And she loves sleeping in the carrier! So, we didn’t have to stop as much or for as long as when she got older and just wanted to explore for herself. When we reached this stage in her development, we started having longer breaks so that she could enjoy the scenery and feel it through her own toes! The hardest bit was definitely when she was getting quite big to be in the front pack but was still not big enough to go in the tramping carrier. When you’ve got a baby on your front, it’s quite hard to see your toes – even worse than when you’re pregnant! So, we had to hike on flat, well-trodden walks till Bethany was big enough to go in the backpack. Toning it down is something I am still working on though. There have been days which have been longer than expected – 13 hours from hut to hut – but taking it at Bethany’s pace has meant she’s been happy, even if I’m exhausted. That’s the challenge lover inside of me!


You may have great plans to hike to the top of an amazing peak – but kids see things differently. Kids see the little branches, and the shape the leaves make. They see the puddles and the mud on the way. To be honest they probably won’t care much for the view, but they’ll notice all the little things along the way that you don’t even see anymore. Don’t rush them, and instead slow down to their pace too. Who cares if you don’t end up with time to make it up to the top of the peak? What matters to them is the time you spend with them, so enjoy it, and rediscover what it’s like to be amazed by all the little things.

How did the baby sleep? Better than at home! Bethany loves the carrier and sleeping in it. During the day, we didn’t have any issues. And at night, sure, Bethany spent about the first ten months of her life waking up every two hours or less, but boob is magic. She would stir, and before anyone even noticed anything, she would be boobin’ back to sleep! One morning, after waking up at the hut, a fellow tramper said to Bethany, “I’d take you as a flatmate any day. No snoring, and not a peep all night! Much better than most flatmates.”

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Where did the baby sleep? In my sleeping bag. We squeeze up. She’s warm too – win-win! Usually if at a DOC hut, we’ll take a bottom bunk, and I try to keep her on the wall side, but being squeezed into my sleeping bag with me, it’s not too much of an issue if she wants to feed on the other side.

What about nappies? Ah, the magical most important question that everyone always asks. Well – what do people in developing nations do? And what did our ancestors do? The answer for us is Elimination Communication – except our ancestors didn’t have a fancy name for it, as for them, it was just what they did. Pretty much, from about seven months old, Bethany has slept without a nappy on – and she has been doing at least the occasional pee in the potty from 5 months old – but this requires a whole separate article as there is just so much to write! For the first 12 months, we always took a backup – I just didn’t want to get stuck in any messy situations. I like to live on the edge, but not quite that much! At home we use cloth nappies as a backup, and because everything you carry into the bush has

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to be carried back out again, we figured we may as well be carrying cloth out rather than carrying disposables out! And besides, with cloth, if the weather is nice, you can always hang it up to dry – even on the outside of your pack.

What does the baby eat? This was an actual question we were asked by a real lady at a hut. “The same as us,” was my confused response. But really, the first six months of hiking was pretty straightforward – as my husband said, “You’ve got baby's hydration pack on you!” Once solids were introduced, we just had to make sure some of our snacks were more baby friendly – I’m not sure I want to see my daughter on a sugar high after eating gummy lollies. I would sometimes chew up nuts for her, and then give them to Bethany. She loves sultanas. We always took fresh apples and capsicums. For meals, she just shared off my plate, the same as she does at home. Although now she’s developed the habit of doing the rounds to see whose plate looks the best!


What do you dress the baby in? Again, similar to what we would wear ourselves. Merino, and lots of it. We also have a few fleece and polyprop layers for her – mainly from the op shop or handmade. Bethany pretty much has mini tramping clothes – and gosh does she look cute in them! We were given a pair of soft-shell pants too, and those are perfect for if it starts bucketing down, as the tramping pack has a great rain cover but it just doesn’t cover the ends of her feet.

What about mozzie bites?! And this is where Bethany is lucky that I make natural alternatives. But we won’t mention that time when I forget the insect repellent – ARGH!! Make sure you source sunscreen and insect repellent that suit babies’ delicate skin.

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How do you entertain the baby?! Another question which surprised me the first time someone asked me as this has never been an issue for us. Think about how much there is to see, take in, and explore from a baby’s perspective! All the trees, birds, clouds – everything is amazing to them. Bethany has entertained herself singing (well, trying to hum) songs, pointing out objects, trying to name colours, just watching peacefully, chasing birds at huts, trying to climb over tree stumps, splashing in puddles, watching other people at huts… seriously, if you don’t know how to entertain a baby, then go hiking. It’s so much easier! We took her one favourite toy for the first few months, but then just gave up on the extra weight, as she wasn’t even that interested in playing with it – there was so much else to see and do.

Is your pack really heavy? Well, yes. But it’s a small price to pay to be able to head out into nature with our little family. Currently, mine and my hubby’s packs are around 25kg each. But one day, Bethany will grow up and be walking on her own, and we will miss the days of everything being so new and exciting to her. In the meantime, we are having such a great time showing her this whole amazing backyard we have to play in!

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Sonia Barrish Sonia is the crafter and driving force behind Back to the Wild. Her passion is to help all families return to a more natural way of living through natural skincare, home care and remedies that are safe for the whole family, as well as through enjoying the outdoors. Visit Sonia at: www.backtothewild.co.nz

This article is part of FMC’s Outdoor Community campaign, celebrating and encouraging Family Tramping. Sonia is one of the 22,000 members of the Federated Mountain Clubs of New Zealand. FMC is a non-profit organisation which advocates on behalf of its members for wise management of our public lands, and the recreational opportunities they provide. Find out more at the FMC website: www.wilderlife.nz 


RESEARCH SHOWS

2 OUT OF 3 DRIVERS USED MEDICATION THAT MAY IMPAIR DRIVING

It’s illegal to drive if you’re impaired

ARE YOU SAFE TO DRIVE? Did you know the medication you take can impact your driving? One in four prescribed medications can make you an unsafe driver. These include common medications like strong painkillers, those used to treat hay fever and colds, heart conditions, depression and sleeping tablets.

Some medications that you buy over the counter can also impair your ability to drive. Talk to your doctor, nurse or pharmacist to make sure you’re safe to drive. You can also call Healthline on 0800 611 116. If you’re not fully alert you could be putting yourself, your children and others using the road in danger.

For more information, please visit www.nzta.govt.nz/are-you-safe-to-drive

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Baby on board –

destination Peru! Loren O’Sullivan, Director of children’s charity NPH New Zealand, recently travelled to Peru with her young baby… and found the true meaning of Christmas. There are plenty of crazy things I’ve done in my life – bungy jumping, moving to Honduras (one of the most dangerous countries in the world), and now travelling with a baby is also on the list! Don’t get me wrong, travelling with a baby can be a lot of fun, but it was definitely very different to my carefree backpacking days. In 2013 and '14 I volunteered in Honduras, teaching English to disadvantaged children at a not-for-profit facility called NPH – Nuestros Pequeños Hermanos (Our Little Brothers and Sisters). This was an incredible experience, opening up my world view and teaching me so much about what’s really important in life.

and said to my husband Leo, “I don’t know if I can do this!” Leo was calm and reassuring and I soon tried to move past the incident. I didn’t sleep a wink during the flight, constantly watching Cristiano to make sure he was okay. By the time we arrived at Leo’s family’s home and Cristiano refused to sleep in this new and strange environment, I was a bit of a wreck. The first week was a battle with jetlag and trying to get Cristiano used to the time difference.

A million kisses to welcome us to Peru Flying was difficult, as expected, but of course it was worth it. Leo’s family were thrilled to meet Cristiano for the first time. It was great to see Cristiano feel comfortable with being passed around the room and kissed a million times. These things you just can’t get online!

Five years later I’m living in New Zealand with a fivemonth-old baby, ready to travel to Peru to meet my husband’s side of the family. I was incredibly nervous about travelling with a baby but at the same time I couldn’t wait to show off our gorgeous little boy.

Overcoming my anxiety My anxiety overcame me as we boarded the flight. The days leading up to this moment were very busy, trying to pack and finish off some work. I was very anxious and nervous, already exhausted at the beginning of a long-haul flight. As I walked down the aisle of the plane, baby Cristiano in the front-pack, a bag on my back and a small wheelie suitcase behind, I tripped and fell…. The passengers gasped as I grabbed my baby. Fortunately, I fell to my knees and Cristiano was fine. Emotionally I felt destroyed. I had a good cry

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When we visited the home for under five-year-olds my heartstrings were pulled. Now that I have my own child, it breaks my heart to meet children who are not able to be with their families.

Leo’s family’s home wasn’t very big, and more family were about to arrive from overseas. We decided to move out to give us a bit more space, freedom and stability for Cristiano. I loved the apartment we moved into – it was close to parks, and an easy walk to the shops. My days were not action-packed nor filled with tourist destinations. Leo was busy helping out a family member, so I was left to fill my days with plenty of walks and trips to the local market. Our trip to Peru was never intended to be a holiday. We were there to meet family and to help a sick relative. Machu Pichu was crossed off the list early on. I was worried about altitude sickness, but I’m sure Cristiano would have been fine. An eight-hour car journey to the north to meet Leo’s dad was also crossed off the list. Fortunately, Leo’s dad came to Lima to visit us for a week which we really enjoyed.

Tugging at the heartstrings We only did one trip outside the capital Lima. We took a two-hour Uber ride to the Cañete to visit NPH Peru, a children’s home which helps disadvantaged children (the same organisation that I volunteered with in Honduras). We arrived with many gifts from Kiwi sponsors. Cristiano enjoyed meeting the children and you can imagine that he was a bit of a star! One particular little girl followed us around all day, wanting to carry and hold Cristiano. She was very persistent and very much enamoured by our little one. The comments the children made were quite funny at times. One boy asked Leo if he’s a millionaire because he bought all the children cake! When we visited the home for under five-year-olds my heartstrings were pulled. Now that I have my own child, it breaks my heart to meet children who are not able to be with their families. I just wanted to pick them all up and give them

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big hugs. One four-year-old looked up at us and said, “I used to have a mum and a dad.” It was hard to know what to say to her. She was soon onto the next thing, grabbing Cristiano’s little shoes and asking about them. The director of the home, Rosario Chirinos, told me that many of the children come to NPH Peru because they have suffered from abuse or neglect within their families. The court has made the decision that they are safer growing up at NPH Peru. The children’s home certainly was a beautiful environment for the kids. Set on 15 hectares, with plenty of space to play and grow, it is a good place to provide opportunities for the children to reach their potential. It was certainly a pleasure to meet some of the university students at the home and hear how they are enjoying their studies. The great thing about NPH is that the children do not have to leave once they turn 18. NPH supports them through a trade or even tertiary education. This is a true blessing in Peru, a country where many people struggle below the poverty line.

Planepal-200x65mm 2.0.pdf

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A new, empathetic me In my former backpacking days, I viewed the poverty I saw in a different light. I felt empathy for the people I met living in very basic conditions, but I also viewed the experience as a bit of an adventure. Now with a baby and perhaps a bit more maturity, I imagined myself in their situation and I knew that I would suffer a lot. On our last day in Lima, we finally built up the courage to take the baby to the centre of the city for the day. Nearing a traffic light, a young child came up to our car, trying to sell us some chocolates. While I’ve seen children in this situation in different places around the world, this time, with Cristiano in his car seat next to me, I just couldn’t handle it. I broke down in tears. It’s not fair that this child is not at school on such a cold day. Why is he selling this? Is he being exploited? Is he being abused? Does he live on the streets? What is his family situation? I had many questions and few answers.

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I told my husband about my feelings and he simply nodded. “This is Peru. This is the way it is. Many of us have grown up like this. When there’s no food, this is just what you have to do to survive.”

I’m so glad we went Travelling with a baby was a huge challenge, especially to a developing country. In spite of this it was a worthwhile experience and I’m glad that we went. It was so special seeing my baby meet his Peruvian relatives for the first time. It was also good for my anxiety to learn to let go and go with the flow ‘Latin American style’. While we didn’t see many tourist attractions, we were able to spend quality time with family and learn more about everyday life in Peru. My family has a wonderful tradition of spending Christmas Day at the beach and opening the invitation to friends who don’t have family nearby. I love this because it reminds me that we are one big family and we need to look out for each other. Another Christmas tradition we do is Secret Santa. It’s easy to get caught up in the sales, but how many of us end up giving or receiving unwanted presents? This year I’ve decided to give my ‘Secret Santa’ an NPH Christmas Gift www.nph-nz.org because I want to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas – helping those who are less fortunate than ourselves. Christmas is not an easy time for many people, and we can all do something small to change this. 

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Loren O’Sullivan Loren, double AIMES Award winner for Community Service, spent two years volunteering at NPH Honduras, helping vulnerable children and families. Loren is now the Director of NPH New Zealand and continues to support the children she worked with, as well as more than 6,000 children who benefit from the services NPH provides in nine different Latin American countries.


ANTENATAL CLASSES HAMILTON AT NO CHARGE Parents Centre is a not-for-profit organisation providing parents with information and skills for their transition to parenthood. As well as our English speaking classes we are also offering classes in Mandarin & Cantonese. - Pregnancy comfort - Labour journey - Understanding your rights - Feeding and meeting your baby’s needs - Transition to parenthood - Practical parenting

Parents Centre’s expertly facilitated programmes are informative, fun, interactive and engaging! Two locations available: - Hamilton CBD - Huntly Birthing Centre

s clas ge” e v i a t a angu orm l f n n i w y “ver in our o to lly ent a i m c n ro espe envi ey were e f a s th o as a tions & w ed t t d I s “ n e o u q sp ask ys re tfully” a w l a ec resp

Mandarin-Cantonese-English Speaking Classes Contact: gailantenatalclass@gmail.com and/or amanda_liu31@hotmail.com English Speaking Classes Contact: md.chellz@gmail.com

www.parentscentre.org.nz

The magazine of Parents Centre

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Measles What you need to know

Why is there an outbreak? The current outbreak of measles spread quickly, especially in South Auckland. Parents of infants and toddlers are understandably concerned, as this is an extremely contagious disease. If you don’t have immunity to measles, contact with someone who is infectious almost guarantees you’ll catch it. As of 20 September, there were more than 1,400 confirmed measles cases. So why are measles so prolific this year? Firstly, measles is more likely to come into New Zealand as there has been a resurgence in measles across the world. This is due to several reasons – war and conflict, weak health services and displaced people, increased international travelling, and in some countries an increase in fear and mistrust of health services. When immunisation rates drop, measles returns. In New Zealand, over half of the cases were young people aged between 10 and 29 years. This is because back 20 to 30 years ago, New Zealand was not so good at offering immunisation to our children and so many missed out. This age group is now at high risk of not only becoming infected, but also passing measles on to others. Many of this age group are unaware they missed out on vaccination when they were young. They also have busy lives with lots of other issues going on, and prioritising preventative measures such as vaccination are not always top of mind in their lives. Once measles arrives, sadly it is a bit too late. One-third of the cases have been in children four years of age or younger. Younger children are at much higher risk of severe disease, with more than 50% ending up in hospital. Fortunately to date, despite some extremely sick infants and thanks to our excellent intensive care services, none have died.

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When to immunise? Immunisation with the MMR vaccine provides a very high level of protection, but because the first dose isn’t usually given until 15 months of age, young babies are particularly at risk. All parents can request to have the 15-month immunisation early, from 12 months onwards. Particularly if you’re in Auckland, babies are strongly recommended to have these at 12 months. The other 15-month vaccinations can also be given at the same time. Some parents are considering the benefit of MMR immunisation earlier than 12 months of age. New Zealand doesn't usually offer MMR to infants under a year of age because the vaccine is less effective. However, it is likely to still have some protection, so if an infant is in a high-risk area such as living in South Auckland or travelling overseas to an area of high measles cases, having a single MMR


can be protective. If an infant under 12 months of age has been in contact with someone with measles, having an MMR within 72 hours of contact is also recommended, as it may help protect them against becoming very ill. This is a decision made in consultation with your family doctor. Any infant who receives a vaccine under a year of age will still need their regular two vaccines at the usual times (12–15 months and 4 years) to be sure of effectiveness.

Vaccine shortage Unfortunately, the spike in demand led to a national shortage of MMR vaccine. While new supplies are expected, temporarily not everyone who wants the vaccine can obtain it. The country is prioritising those at highest risk, which is young children due their 12–15 months and four-year-old vaccinations.

Recognising the signs of measles Measles is very infectious. The symptoms include: „„ fever „„ cough „„ runny nose „„ sore and watery ‘pink eyes’ „„ rash. If you or your baby have got any of these symptoms, or someone you know has, please ring Healthline on freephone 0800 611 116 or call your midwife or doctor. It’s really important you stay home, but if you do go to the doctor, please phone before visiting, as they can help you avoid the waiting room, so you don’t infect other patients.

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This is very frustrating for many who understandably want protection. We can only hope this shortage does not last for long. If you cannot currently obtain a vaccine, ask your general practice to keep you on the list and to inform you when they have supply in stock.

How can I protect myself and my children? Children under a year of age can have an extra vaccination from six months if they are in a high-risk area. While babies under six months can still catch measles, it is less common. Infants do get some protection in the womb from their mother, but this wanes pretty quickly within the first few months of life. Breastfeeding is important and does offer some extra protection (if the mother was vaccinated or had measles in the past) but cannot totally protect against measles.

fearful the health authorities have got it wrong – in a world of increasing mistrust, trusting the best health advice is sometimes a hard thing to do. It is reassuring though that every single country in the world recommends the measles vaccine as part of their vaccination programmes, and the vaccines are well tested and monitored for more than 50 years. In fact, since the year 2000, 21 million deaths have been prevented by the measles vaccine. ď Ž

Find out more www.health.govt.nz Healthline on 0800 611 116

The other important protection for young infants is ensuring those around them are vaccinated so they do not spread the virus to them. Pregnant women, if they have been vaccinated, are highly likely to be protected. However, if you are unsure of your vaccination history or know you are not immune, the safest protection in pregnancy is to ensure people around you are vaccinated. You cannot be vaccinated in pregnancy as it is a live vaccine and is not recommended.

Why do some people not want to have the vaccine? As parents we all want to do what is right for our child. A small percentage of people are fearful about giving their children vaccines. There are a range of reasons for this. The decision can be particularly difficult because many of us do not have personal, direct experience with the very severe side effects of measles and focus on the very rare but known side effects of the vaccine. Some people have had previous bad experiences with their healthcare service or heard scary stories from social media, family or friends. For some, vaccination does not feel natural or they do not believe measles will affect their own child badly. If you’re feeling unsure, the best approach is to find a doctor or nurse who you feel you can genuinely trust to talk through your fears and concerns. Some people are

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Dr Nikki Turner Nikki is director of the Immunisation Advisory Centre at the University of Auckland and a member of the World Health Organisation Strategic Advisory Group of Experts on Immunisations


Protecting your baby starts before birth When you’re pregnant, free vaccines can help protect you and your new baby before they are fully immunised.

IMMUNISATION DURING PREGNANCY

Influenza and whooping cough (pertussis) immunisations are recommended and free for all pregnant women in New Zealand. These types of vaccines are used internationally during pregnancy and are a very safe way to protect both mother and baby. Immunisation during pregnancy causes the mother’s immune system to make antibodies. The antibodies circulate in her blood stream to help protect her from getting sick. They also travel across the placenta into her baby’s blood stream and help protect the baby after birth, before baby has completed their first three immunisations.

WHOOPING COUGH

Babies, particularly those younger than 6 months of age, can get very sick or even die from whooping cough. Immunisation between 16 and 38 weeks of pregnancy can help protect your baby for up to 3 months after they are born. Babies then develop their own protection through immunisations at 6 weeks, 3 months and 5 months of age.

INFLUENZA (FLU) Pregnant women who get influenza have a much higher risk of developing complications like pneumonia, being admitted to intensive care, experiencing premature labour, and/or delivery problems. They also have a higher risk of dying from influenza than women who are not pregnant. Their unborn baby is more likely to be born small for age, become distressed in labour, and/or be delivered by caesarean. You can be immunised anytime during pregnancy, which will help protect your baby for up to 6 months after birth. Influenza immunisation is free from April to December each year.

IMMUNISATION AND BREASTFEEDING Mothers pass some antibodies to baby in their breast milk these don’t interfere with baby’s own immunisations and in fact may help them work better. You can continue your usual breastfeeding after baby receives immunisations, including the rotavirus vaccine. Mothers can be immunised themselves while still breastfeeding.

visit immune.org.nz

or speak to your doctor or practice nurse for more advice.

TAPS approval number: NA 8613

The magazine of Parents Centre

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The best gift for

tamariki is time

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Kirihimete is a time of celebration; the sharing of kai, the giving of gifts, laughter, and remembering wha-nau members who have passed. As parents, do we sometimes focus too much on the gift giving and push the basics to the side? We seem to set ourselves up with the expectation that we have to purchase all the new, top-of-the-line, whizz-pop items for our tamariki. But is that really what our tamariki want or need? Parents have a gift for their tamariki that does not cost anything, and that is their time. I sat alongside my colleagues at Awarua Wha-nau Services in Invercargill to see what their most treasured childhood memories of Kirihimete were.

“We didn’t get presents at Christmas. We went home (Tai Tokerau, Northland). It was important for us to know who our cousins were, and them us. We were the wha-nau from the south.” (Jamie Roberts, Nga- Puhi) “I remember hanging our Christmas stockings, which were Dad’s work

socks. We used to fight over which colour we got. On Christmas morning, we were excited to see what was in our stocking. Usually we got an orange or cherries and a couple of small toys that would keep us entertained all morning.” (Mata Cherrington, Nga-ti Hine)

In Aotearoa, we are so incredibly lucky to be able to enjoy the gifts of our Atua, which for many are right on our back doorstep and are a part of our ko wai au – our identity; a swim in the moana, a hı-koi in the ngahere or up a maunga, gathering kai in the awa or from Papatu-a-nuku.

These words remind us that the wrapped gifts under the tree are not necessarily the most important memories kept by our tamariki.

Most of all, these are activities that can be enjoyed by wha-nau, creating lasting memories that will be shared through the generations.

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It is never too late to start filling the wha- nau kete with traditions that will last a lifetime and beyond. Te Ao Ma-ori reminds us of key messages that are often misplaced. Wha-nau – which is not just you as parents and your tamariki, but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the next-door neighbour or the kuia three doors down – coming together to enjoy fun, laughter and the sharing of kai. Manaaki is the concept of giving without the expectation of receiving. Being receptive to the warm fuzzy feeling in knowing that you have made someone’s day and didn’t need to receive a tangible item in return. Kirihimete is the perfect time to instil in your tamariki the values that will

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set them in good stead when they are raising their own tamariki – your mokopuna.

Create your own traditions Kirihimete is a time to create traditions that can be shared through the generations to come. Here are some free or low-cost ideas. „„ D itch the old chocolate advent calendar and create your own with personalised wha-nau activities, such as ‘donate an item to the food bank’. „„ Attend a carols event in the park. „„ Visit the Kirihimete lights. „„ Attend a Kirihimete parade.

Learn Ma-ori at home this raumati Kirihimete

Christmas

Kai

Food

Wha-nau

Family

Tamariki

Children

Atua

God

Ngahere

Bush

Maunga

Mountain

Awa

River

Moana

Sea

Papatu-a-nuku

The land

Mokopuna

Grandchildren

Kete

Basket

Raumati

Summer

„„ W atch a movie together and read a Kirihimete story. „„ C reate tree decorations that can be passed on through the generations. „„ Have Kirihimete at the beach. „„ Enjoy a day of wha-nau games.

Perhaps it’s time that we go back to basics and remember that the best gift we can give our tamariki this festive season is our time… and it doesn’t cost a cent. 


www.kathyfray.com

Get empowered peace-of-mind with your own copy of NZ’s No.1 best-selling Birth & Babies book since 2005!

Feel Childbirth confidence with your own copy of my FREE download guide to Labour and Birth

My mihi Ko Hokonui te Maunga

Hokonui is my mountain

Ko Mataura te Awa

Mataura is my river

Ko Pakeha te Iwi

My people are European

Tokorua nga Tamariki kei roto I toku whanau

There are two children in my family

Ko Royden taku tau

Royden is my partner

He tauwhiro taku mahi

I am a social worker

Ko Amy de Vries toku ingoa

My name is Amy de Vries

Bit unsure of the difference between correctly dressing a 1-Day-Old versus a 1-Month-Old? Own the perfect award-winning organic merino outfit for your precious brand new Baby

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On the road to

nappy freedom The words ‘toilet training’ can strike fear into the most intrepid parent, but summer is a great time to start that transition to nappy freedom. Here are some tips for mums, dads and carers that really help take the hassle out of wee accidents and support your little one on their toilet learning journey.

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Daytime tips When should we start? For daytime learning, around two years is a good time for girls, although boys are quite often later. Every child is different. Choose a time when you can stay closer to home for a few days. Ask someone else to pick up older kids from school or preschool, go to the supermarket at night after your partner is home etc. You need a few days clear of distractions if possible.

How do I know they are ready? There are a few things you can ask yourself that will help you identify the right time to encourage your child to use the toilet. „„ Can they pull their own pants up and down? „„ A re they staying dry for at least two hours at a time? „„ Do they show an interest in the potty or toilet?

How about rewards and praise? Keep it simple and reward effort rather than result. Make it consistent and affordable – stickers and games rather than expensive toys. Check out the free reward downloads on brollysheets.co.nz. Make sure you celebrate even the small successes. Do the “potty dance” – everyone claps and dances around. Ring close relatives to share the exciting news.

Set the clock Remind your child to go every half hour to an hour. Don’t ask if they need to go, simply say, “Come on – let’s go to the potty/toilet.”

Number twos It’s more common than you think – wees are fine but your child just won’t do a poo on the potty or in the toilet. The fact their child is out of nappies, except for when they need to do number twos, frustrates many parents. These things might help:

„„ Can they follow simple instructions?

„„ Make sure your child isn't constipated.

„„ I s the time right for you and your family? Spoiler alert – there will be accidents and extra washing.

„„ When they have done number twos, either in a nappy or in pants, go together to the toilet and flush it away. „„ Tie a “special toy” to the toilet roll holder to play with whilst on the toilet.

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Don't stress Try your best to relax and not to stress – if toilet learning isn’t working, just leave it for a few months. Your little one will eventually get there, all children are different.

„„ Have a special book just to read whilst sitting on the toilet. „„ Get a seat insert so they don’t fear falling in. „„ Try putting food colouring in the water to make the toilet more interesting. „„ It may be that poos “splash” and make a noise, so they will go in a potty but not the toilet. Put some toilet paper in the toilet first so there isn’t a splash. „„ Explain where the “hole” in the toilet goes and how the toilet works. „„ Put the potty by the toilet (if it will fit) and then they will have the choice where they want to go and get used to the idea that the toilet is the place to go. „„ Offer a "poo party", not just after the first poo, but if they go four times in the toilet. „„ It could be that they just need the time to relax on the toilet. Let them know that it is alright to take your time. „„ It may be they are uncomfortable with their feet in the air, so get a stool for them to put their feet on. „„ Try not to focus on it, as it can build anxiety. „„ Explain how food goes down a slide in their tummy (a long one with lots of turns) and all the things their body doesn't need come out at the end of the slide and into the toilet.

Get practical Training pants are a great transition between nappies and undies to give you some peace of mind. They won’t hold a full wee like a nappy, but will give your child extra time to get to the toilet. It’s also handy to take a waterproof bag, some wipes and a change of undies/ pants when you go out. Being prepared makes those wee accidents easier to deal with.

It’s not a competition Don’t compete with others about your child being dry. It is nothing to do with your skills as a parent or your child’s IQ. It happens when it happens. There will always be the child who has never had an accident – but the majority of us have to go through the accidents, extra washing and always knowing where the public loos are.

Nighttime tips Complete daytime learning first – don’t try to do them both at once. The average age to start night-time toilet training is around four to five years, but boys can be a bit slower than girls. They are either physically capable of holding on till the morning or they aren’t. If your child is still waking up wet every morning, they are not ready to go without a nappy. It's just the way they are made and every child is different. Most children under the age of five still wet in their sleep and one in ten younger primary school children do too. There are definite signs of readiness you should look for before you start. Don’t rely exclusively on these – they are just an indication the time may be right. „„ Dry nappy in the morning. „„ If they are waking up wet, check to see if they are weeing just before they wake (look for a soaked warm nappy). „„ Not wanting the nappy on at night – child-led. „„ Waking up to go at night – either dry or wet. If your child is showing signs of readiness, don’t hold them back. It will be easier for you if your child is ready, so go for it now.

Get the timing right Don’t start toilet learning just before you go on holiday or just before you come home with a new baby. You may be lucky and have a very quick training time frame. Or you are much more likely to be like the majority of us where it will take weeks/months to get completely dry. You will have broken sleep changing a wet bed and child. Start when the time is good for you and your child. Set a routine bedtime for your child. Overtired children fall deeply asleep and have a harder time waking up to go to the bathroom. You may have a relapse over the holidays as days tend to be fuller and the routine changes. Give your child plenty of fluid during the day. They shouldn’t need extra drinks after dinner.

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Time To Toilet Train? We have everything you need. Advice, support, products and more. TM

BrollySheets.co.nz 0800 276 559

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Praise and reward your child for staying dry or getting up to toilet. A reward chart may be handy to tick off going to the toilet before bed or stopping drinks at dinner time. Have a think about what to reward, as bed-wetting isn’t something in their control.

Light up their lives A nightlight can make a huge difference. Your child needs to feel safe getting up in the middle of the night if they need to. You can also leave the toilet light on to make the house not so scary in the dark.

Accidents are going to happen – be prepared Don’t use disposable night-time pants. Your child needs to feel wet for their brain to get the message they don’t like being cold and wet. Prepare the bed and your child. Get something like a Brolly Sheet with tuck-in wings that makes it easy to change a wet bed at 2 a.m. Explain to your child that these special sheets are made to be weed on. It is no big deal if they have an accident.

Have realistic expectations Have realistic expectations. Expect just the occasional dry night at the first few attempts. In some cases it may take months. If your child is becoming anxious or frustrated, take the pressure off. Forget about nighttime toilet training for a while. You can restart in a few months’ time. 

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Diane Hurford Diane is the founder and director of Brolly Sheets, an award-winning multinational business which grew from her need to find an easy way to change her infant daughter’s sheets in the middle of the night. There is much more information on the Brolly Sheets website, at brollysheets.co.nz. ‘Like’ the Brolly Sheets Facebook page to take advantage of regular tips and promotions.


Research shows that going to sleep on your side from 28 weeks of pregnancy halve your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back. Why should I go to sleep on my side? Lying on your back in the last three months of pregnancy (from 28 weeks) presses on major blood vessels which can reduce blood flow to your womb and oxygen supply to your baby.

Is it best to go to sleep on my left or right side? You can settle to sleep on either the left or the right side – any side is good from 28 weeks of pregnancy.

SLEEP ON SIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE

FROM 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY Research shows that going to sleep on www.sleeponside.org.nz your side from 28 weeks of pregnancy halve your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back. Why should I go to sleep on my side? Lying on your back in the last three months of pregnancy (from 28 weeks) presses on major blood vessels which can reduce blood flow to your womb and oxygen supply to your baby.

Is it best to go to sleep on my left or right side? You can settle to sleep on either the left or the right side – any side is good from 28 weeks of pregnancy.

But what if I feel more comfortable going to sleep on my back? Going to sleep on your back is not best for baby after 28 weeks of pregnancy. Most women find side sleeping is more comfortable in pregnancy, especially in the last three months.

What if I wake up on my back?

But what if I feel more comfortable going to sleep on my back? Going to sleep on your back is not best for baby after 28 weeks of pregnancy. Most women find side sleeping is more comfortable in pregnancy, especially in the last three months.

What if I wake up on my back? It’s normal to change position during sleep and many pregnant women wake up on their back. The important thing is to start every sleep (daytime naps and going to bed at night) lying on your side and settle back to sleep on your side if you wake up.

What is the risk of stillbirth if I go to sleep on my back? Stillbirth in the last three months of pregnancy affects about one in every 500 babies. However, research has confirmed that going to sleep on your side halves your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back.

SLEEP ONON SIDE SLEEP SIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE SLEEP ON SIDE FROMFROM 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY WHEN BABY’S For more information please INSIDE contact your midwife, nurse or28 doctor. www.sleeponside.org.nz www.sleeponside.org.nz FROM WEEKS OF PREGNANCY

www.sleeponside.org.nz www.sleeponside.org.nz The magazine of Parents Centre

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If breastfeeding is natural

why can't I do it?

The World Health Organization recommends exclusively breastfeeding your baby for the first six months of life, and then continuing to breastfeed alongside other foods for two years or beyond. The Ministry of Health also recommends exclusively breastfeeding your baby for the first six months of life, and then continuing to breastfeed alongside other foods until your baby is at least one year old. Breastfeeding is undoubtedly the biologically normal way to feed a human baby. Human milk contains exactly the right combination of nutrients to ensure your baby’s brain grows and develops as it needs to – this is a priority for human mammals. The babies of other mammals have other more critical needs – for example, growing large, strong bones may be most important,

or being able to go very long periods without feeds while the mother is hunting – and therefore the milk of other mammals contains the nutrients required for those mammal-specific needs.

So, if breastfeeding is natural, why can’t I do it?! This is something that is often heard from mothers who want

to breastfeed but are finding things more difficult than they expected. There are many things that humans seem to do "naturally" – for example, sitting, walking and talking, but all these things are only successful after lots of practice AND seeing other people do them too. And that's the key – seeing people do something is part of the way we learn. Personally, I think it's a BIG part of how we learn and

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More comfort, more milk When you are comfortable and relaxed your milk flows more easily. Our breast pumps are designed so you can sit comfortably, with no need to lean forward. Our silky, soft massage cushion stimulates your milk flow mimicking baby’s suckling.

www.philips.co.nz/avent www.facebook.com/Philips.Avent.NewZealand

The magazine of Parents Centre

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So yes, breastfeeding might be ‘natural’ in that human breastmilk is designed for human babies, but it's not necessarily a process that is natural for us to follow – we have to learn first.

that's one of the reasons I believe some women feel nervous about breastfeeding and find it tricky to get breastfeeding off to a good start. Most of us aren't lucky enough to grow up seeing other women breastfeed. This is partly due to the way our family groups are widely dispersed – we don't tend to live in small communities where we see our aunts, cousins and family friends, breastfeeding. Many families are smaller these days and therefore we don't have younger siblings that are still breastfeeding by the time we are old enough to really remember what's happening around us. Stories in the news and media about women being asked to stop breastfeeding also mean that many women who are out with their babies tend to hide away when it comes to time to feed their baby, so we don't always see mothers feeding their babies so much in public either.

Learning how to do this ‘natural thing’ Given that many women don't grow up seeing women breastfeed, it's no wonder it's difficult for some of us to work out how to do this "natural" thing. Not all babies are born knowing what to do, and sometimes the process and medication of labour and birth can affect a baby's ability to successfully breastfeed in the first few days too. It's critical that women

have the support and information they need, when they need it, in order to successfully breastfeed their baby – and by successful, I mean a breastfeeding relationship that the mother is happy with. Parents will get comprehensive information on feeding baby in Parents Centre childbirth education classes. These classes will help new parents have a better idea of what to expect from breastfeeding, how to get off to the best possible start with breastfeeding, and how to cope with the most common "problems" new mothers experience with breastfeeding. They will also give parents information about how and where to get further breastfeeding information and support once their baby is born.

Community support Support in the community from other mothers who have been, or are going, through similar situations with breastfeeding can be very reassuring. Going to classes antenatally gives parents the chance to meet other women having babies around the same time and it can be useful to keep in touch to help each other through the first few months. You might also like to make contact with your local La Leche League group during your pregnancy. Many people don’t realise that La Leche League groups are for pregnant women too, not just for after you’ve had your baby. It’s a great way to

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start building your community of support, and you will undoubtedly see babies breastfeeding and be able to chat to mothers about their experiences. Many of the groups meet up twice a month, and often have a free library of books you can borrow too. There are many organisations and groups set up to help with breastfeeding, some more formal than others. Having a range of ideas and information to draw on can be empowering, and if a piece of information or suggestion doesn't feel right for you, there is usually an alternative to try. It's crucial to keep asking until you find the right person to help you, with the information that works for you – and sometimes it takes a few goes to get that right. So yes, breastfeeding might be “natural” in that human breastmilk is designed for human babies, but it's not necessarily a process that is natural for us to follow – we have to learn first. 

Denise Ives Denise is a La Leche League leader based in Dunedin, where she has lived for 10 years since leaving England. She is also a qualifed Breastfeeding Counsellor, having completed a

Find out more

Diploma in England with the University of Bedfordshire and

www.who.int/topics/ breastfeeding/en/

National Childbirth Trust. Denise founded The Breast Room in Dunedin, a drop-in breastfeeding support clinic, where parents can go for free one-to-one breastfeeding support. Denise has two children aged nearly 26 years and 16 years, and a nearly 5-year-old granddaughter. Aside from being passionate about making sure parents get the support they need to feed their babies, Denise enjoys walking her dogs, playing clarinet, reading and knitting.

www.health.govt.nz/ your-health/pregnancyand-kids/first-year/helpfuladvice-during-first-year/ breastfeeding-perfect-youand-your-baby lalecheleague.org.nz

All pumps feature 2-Phase Expression Technology, which mimics babies’ natural sucking rhythms, allowing mums to express more breast milk in less time.

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In this section Advocating for families in the Hutt Valley Family fun in Tauranga Spotlight on Moving and Munching Classes Find a Centre near you

Educating and supporting parents through the early years Antenatal – pregnancy and childbirth – education. Whilst these are certainly not all the things we do, we are justifiably proud of delivering fantastic classes around the country! Did you know that advocacy is at the heart of all we do? Parents Centres New Zealand was founded back in 1952 largely through the critical need to improve antenatal education and birthing practices in this country. We have achieved plenty since then, including: „„ S uccessfully advocating for fathers to be allowed to be present during labour and birth „„ E stablishing the practice of babies “rooming in” with their mothers and not being banished to a nursery „„ P romoting breastfeeding as being normal and the best form of feeding for babies and supporting the World Health Organisation (WHO) code for this „„ I nitiating unlimited hospital visits for parents of sick children „„ E stablishing a diploma-level course specialising in antenatal education in the country. Read about the fantastic job that Meg Waghorn and the team at Upper Hutt Parents Centre are doing to advocate for improved maternity services in their community – supporting midwives, lobbying MPs and holding their District Health Board to account. We also have an awesome team of expert Childbirth Educators (CBEs), all trained to diploma level and passionate about the importance of quality childbirth education. We’ve been educating parents for over 60 years, and believe that, with the right information, birthing choices sit firmly with you, the parents. Knowledge is empowerment, enabling you to have control over what is the start of the most incredible journey of your life – becoming a parent. Photo: Tauranga Parents Centre

www.parentscentre.org.nz 

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Advocating for families in the Hutt Valley Having witnessed first-hand the impact of ongoing midwife shortages within Hutt Hospital's maternity ward, Meg Waghorn decided she couldn’t simply stand by. With the full support of Lower Hutt Parents Centre, Meg has called on local MPs and the Hutt Valley District Health Board (HVDHB) to take action to make the Hutt Valley a safe place for midwives, mums and babies. Meg gave birth to a healthy baby boy in July and was able to see first-hand just how stretched the staff were. "There was one emergency while I was there, and it was definitely all hands on deck ... there was visible stress. I had very good care, especially from my midwife, but when I was in the hospital it was evident the staff were under a lot of pressure. It's disturbing to think this isn't even the worst it's going to get as the festive season looms and it is even harder to roster on staff. We're concerned about access to care for women in the Hutt Valley and so we've started a bit of advocacy." The situation, described as being at a crisis point by Hutt South MP Chris Bishop, means by the end of the year there may be as few as 20 LMCs in the area. While midwifery shortages have been flagged in several parts of the country, issues in the Hutt Valley have been in the spotlight following the release earlier this year of a wide-ranging external review into Hutt Valley District Health Board's women's health services which outlined "a chronic workforce deficiency". Meg was one of the lucky ones able to secure an LMC – but only because she was quick off the mark. "As soon as I got a positive pregnancy test, I reached out to my previous midwife and asked for a recommendation ... I asked if I should wait a week

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or so and she said, 'Definitely not, you need to contact someone now.'" Meg wrote to the DHB to register her concerns. “I have had an acknowledgement from them and will continue to try and get more concrete information about the progress they are making, which I will share with our local Centre members.” “The other thing I did was survey all the local DHB candidates about the external review and maternity care in the lead-up to the local body elections,” says Meg. “We published the results of the survey and we intend to get in contact with newly elected DHB members to keep maternity issues at the top of their priority lists.” Following a letter from Meg in her role as Lower Hutt Parents Centre Secretary, expressing concern about the current situation, Labour MP Ginny Andersen organised a meeting with Associate Health Minister Julie Anne Genter. Ginny said it was important to get the Centre's concerns in front of the minister as soon as possible and begin working out a plan to address the problems facing maternity services. “We took along the birth stories of 15 local women for Julie Anne Genter to read,” says Meg. “It was a positive meeting where our concerns were acknowledged and validated. We also received advice on the best course


Below photo, from left: Ren Wanden (Lower Hutt Parents Centre President), Meg Waghorn (Lower Hutt Parents Centre Secretary), Julie Anne Genter (Minister for Women, Associate Minister for Health and Associate Minister for Transport), Ginny Andersen (local Labour MP), Tracey Royer (Lower Hutt Parents Centre committee member).

of action going forward. Julie Anne emphasised that local advocacy is often effective in influencing health priorities so I would encourage others Centres to contact their MPs and DHBs if their local maternity services are under pressure.” HVDHB chief executive Fionnagh Dougan said the DHB had managed to recruit several staff to its Women's Health Service, including a new director of midwifery. Like other DHBs, it was considering hiring from overseas to help fill the shortage. But Chair of the Wellington Region of the College of Midwives, Siobhan Connor disagrees with this approach. “Recruiting midwives from overseas tells us the DHB just doesn’t get it. We have more midwives than ever before with practising certificates in New Zealand,” she says. “However, this skilled and educated workforce is choosing not to practise for reasons that we have been asking to be addressed for more than a decade.” “Better staffing levels, improved working conditions and effective retention strategies for hospital employed midwives, a sustainable locum service, better coordination and support for community-based midwives across the country – these are some of the things that would help,” said College of Midwives, Chief Executive Alison Eddy.

The joy of finding out you're pregnant is quickly replaced with panic planning as expectant mums scramble to secure a midwife amid a national shortage. – Meg Waghorn

A Midwifery Accord with the Ministry of Health, the midwifery union, DHBs and other stakeholders is underway and is expected to identify and develop strategies to recruit, retain and re-employ midwives within DHBs. College of Midwives CE Alison Eddy says this is a positive step. “Retention is the key, as we know there are midwives out there. We hope the Accord will help to build a sustainable midwifery workforce and support the continued growth in the number of midwives employed in our hospitals. This will ensure our maternity service will strengthen once more, and the positive outcomes midwives deliver when the sector is valued and resourced properly will continue for our women and babies.” 

Siobhan says a significant number of midwives are deciding to work part time, intermittently or not at all because the maternity workplace is increasingly unattractive, under-resourced and stressful for midwives and mothers.

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Family fun in Tauranga In September we held a free family fun day at our Centre. This was a great way to introduce our new committee to the community and give local families a chance to explore our building and find out what we do here at Tauranga Parents Centre. We were blown away by the number of families who joined us on the day! Over 300 families came through our doors and we were happy to meet them all. You sure kept us busy! Our committee had some terrific sponsorship on the day from local businesses and organisations who support our Centre. Rob and Jo from SBS Bank ran the barbecue for us, giving out free sausages from New World Gate Pa. Michelle from True Colours Postnatal Depression Support Group was here to chat with families, along with Linda from PORSE who helped

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on our rock painting station. Plus Rhiannon performed her Wondercraft magic on everyone with super fun face painting! We had some awesome prizes to give away too, so lots of families went home with some extra goodies, including a term of swimming lessons from Liz Van Welie Aquatics, a range of nappy cakes made by Wondercraft with nappies supplied by Huggies, plus vouchers from Something and Social at Tauranga Crossing, The Baby Factory, Baby on the Move and Tauranga Entertainment Centre (formerly Flip Out), along with other little goodies from Clever Kids, Olivea Anstis Hair Studio, Resene, Wondercraft and Farmer Auto Village. A huge thank you to these businesses for supporting Tauranga Parents Centre. ď Ž Jenner Ballinger-Judd, President Tauranga Parents Centre


Each edition of Kiwiparent profiles one of Parents Centre's renowned parent education programmes.

This month the spotlight is on:

Moving and Munching Your baby’s emerging exploration of the environment and discovery of first foods. It’s an exciting time. Your baby is moving on; discovering first foods and becoming more active, and already (or soon to be) making those first attempts at crawling. As a new parent it can be difficult to know how to go about introducing solid foods and what issues you need to be aware of now that your baby is (or is getting closer to) being on the move! The ‘munching’ focus of this programme explores the following: „„ W hen and how to start to introduce solids into your baby’s diet „„ How to continue to include milk in your baby’s diet „„ E xploring the need for changes in textures, tastes and the quantity of solids over time „„ W ays to encourage your baby to develop healthy attitudes to food.

Development milestones vary widely from child to child. This programme includes information on physical, cognitive (or intellectual), language and social (emotional) development. It stresses that no baby can be compared to another when it comes to development – they are all unique and all reach developmental milestones at different times. Throughout the programme you will hear from a variety of expert guest speakers, all of whom are familiar and experienced with the changes your baby is going through in this 6–12 month age group. Speakers may include a dietitian or nutritionist, a paediatric or Plunket nurse, a paediatrician or an infant-feeding advisor. Parents often ask what the signs are for development stages, both in terms of movement and in terms of diet. This programme gives you the opportunity to openly discuss concerns and to learn about balancing baby’s dietary intake as well as understanding and exploring a variety of activities that you as a parent can introduce and enjoy with your little one.

The ‘moving’ focus of this programme explores the following:

Developmentally, the ‘Moving and Munching’ 6–12-month-old stage is a fascinating one, and parents who are armed with the right information will enjoy it all the more.

„„ I dentifying areas of your home environment that might need safety-proofing now that your baby’s mobility and manipulative skills are developing

Contact your local Centre through www.parentscentre.org.nz for details for programmes running in your area. 

„„ E ncouraging the development of your baby’s fine and gross motor skills by identifying ageappropriate play and toys „„ I dentifying areas of language, intellectual and social development that helps to stimulate your baby’s learning.

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Find a Centre near you Parents Centres span the entire country with 47 locations around New Zealand. Contact your local Centre for details of programmes and support available in your area, or go to:

www.parentscentre.org.nz

North Island Auckland Region 1 Whanga-rei Waitemata Bays North Harbour Hibiscus Coast - newa O

Bay of Plenty Tauranga Whakata-ne Rotorua TaupoTaranaki

Auckland Region 2

New Plymouth

Auckland East

Stratford

Papakura

South Taranaki

Manukau

East Coast North Island

Franklin

Central Hawke's Bay

Auckland Region 3

Hawke's Bay

West Auckland

Central Districts

Central Auckland

Palmerston North

East & Bays

Wairarapa

Waikato Thames-Hauraki

Wellington Ka-piti

Morrinsville

Lower Hutt

Hamilton

Mana

Cambridge

Upper Hutt

Putaruru

Wellington North

Otorohanga

Wellington South

South Island Northern South Island Nelson Marlborough Greymouth Canterbury Region Ashburton Christchurch Timaru Oamaru Southern Region Alexandra Balclutha Dunedin Gore Taieri

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Great parents

grow great kids

Arm yourself with knowledge as you grow as a parent alongside your child, by taking part in one of the Parents Centre programmes that run nationwide. Having a new baby is a time of significant change – your brain is working overtime with questions and your body is going through amazing changes. It's quite a journey. Parents Centre has been supporting parents for 65 years. Become a member of Parents Centre and we can support you too! You’ll get access to quality pregnancy, childbirth and parent education that will help you gain invaluable knowledge on your pregnancy, childbirth and early parenting journey. It’s a great way to meet other new parents who are on the same journey as you. They often become lifelong friends. You get support through coffee groups that meet on a regular basis, and ongoing education programmes to help you navigate the stages of pregnancy and parenthood. With 47 Centres nationwide, we provide many opportunities for social engagement for both parents and children. Many of our Centres offer playgroups and music classes, and these are a great way to learn with your children while you get to socialise with other parents at the same time.

You also gain skills and experience that will be a real asset when you decide to rejoin the workforce. We look forward to having you join our Parents Centre family and supporting you on your parenting journey! Early Pregnancy – a special programme tailored for your 12th to 24th week of pregnancy. Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parent Education (Antenatal) – essential information to prepare you for childbirth and early parenting. Baby and You – practical and sensible tips and advice for enjoying and making the most of those first months with your newborn. Parenting with Purpose – consciously focusing on how you want to parent and how your child ticks. Return to Work – advice for preparing and returning to the paid workforce. Magic Moments – strategies for positive communication and discipline with your child. Moving and Munching – exploring baby's first foods and developmental stages.

As a Parents Centre member you will receive loads of free giveaways and samples, as well as special discount shopping days, and discounted products and services exclusive to Parents Centre members. Who doesn’t love freebies and discounts!

Music and Movement – stimulating music activities for your baby and toddler.

Many of our members gain so much from being a Parents Centre member that they want to ‘give back’ and become volunteers for their local Centre, ensuring that new parents can continue to benefit from the skills, knowledge, friendships and support they’ve received.

www.parentscentre.org.nz 

Tinies to Tots – positively encouraging your emerging adventurous toddler.

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Ask a Childbirth Educator

Labour Getting your head in the game

For labour to result in a spontaneous vaginal birth we need a uterus to contract effectively. This causes the cervix to soften and thin and then to be drawn up into its lower third, leaving space to push a baby through. Unless you are one of a small percentage of women who say they don't feel those contractions as pain, we need some strategies to help work with the sensations that get stronger throughout the first stage of labour as the cervix dilates, pressure on organs increases and the baby moves deep into the pelvis. Preparation for labour starts in pregnancy. As soon as you start telling people your good news, they will gleefully share their disastrous birth story, or their friend's, or their neighbour's, maybe all three! If you were concerned before, now you're terrified. This fear is very unhelpful during birth. Perhaps you have laboured before? How was that birth? Did anything happen that you have lingering questions over? Are you worried about going through labour again? This anxiety won’t work in your favour. Ensure you talk through your previous experiences with your midwife to clear up any concerns you may have so you can look at this labour from a calm, healed perspective.

Our brain is such a powerful tool, we need it working with us, not against. There are many natural approaches to childbirth, for example Lamaze technique, the Bradley method and Hypnobirthing, that are useful options, and I also think having an idea of how our hormones can help or hinder is beneficial. So, what can someone who is fearful of their upcoming labour do?

Talk it out Share your thoughts with your partner, midwife or childbirth educator (CBE). Find a positive birth ally who you can confide in but who isn't going to perpetuate your fears. If you would like to read other people's positive birth stories for a change, visit www.tellmeagoodbirthstory.com for first-hand powerful birth experiences, or listen to a podcast such as Kiwi Birth Tales (episodes 46 and 49 for instance), and there are many more great episodes. I wouldn't advise watching a birth that you didn't know was a positive outcome beforehand. Steer clear of TV series that show multiple scenarios in one show, they won't all be awesome labour/births as they

need sensational television to fascinate the audience, and normal labour is often quiet and still and done in the dark, so not good TV!

Put positive thoughts in your head Find yourself a little mantra that 'talks to you'. You can use this during a meditation, at the end of a yoga session, or just in a quiet time at the end of each day – a moment of mindfulness. I did a search of the internet and quickly found several that I liked ... my body was designed to do this ... breathe in strength, breathe out tension ... my body is working for me ...

Get prepared Prepare for the labour you hope to achieve and prepare your partner and other birth companions too. This will help reduce anxiety on the day as you know they know things such as where to park if you're going to a hospital or birth centre because you did a tour. They helped you pack the hospital bag, so know where to find the wheat pack. You have been using some massage techniques

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during pregnancy that can be great pain relief in labour. They have joined you at antenatal classes to learn with you how best to help, not hinder the process. Did you know that having positive, loving support during labour really helps enhance the hormone oxytocin that works to contract the uterus? If you are stressed, you release hormones that can slow down labour, which is cruel, I think, because if you are worried that labour might be long and painful it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Think of labour and oxytocin like a burning fire that needs regular stoking, and the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline are like buckets of water that would put out the fire. What enhances oxytocin production and stokes that fire? This precious hormone is the hormone of LOVE, LABOUR and LACTATION. It is there when we feel loved; hugging someone you love is a great start. If this person is your partner, actually making love and having an orgasm produces loads. So it makes sense that we need it again in order to produce the child too.

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In his blog, 10 unusual ways to release oxytocin, James Altucher calls oxytocin the "life hormone", there for critical moments of life creation. Basically, we produce oxytocin when we feel good, so feeling loved, laughing, being connected to others, even over social media, listening to your favourite tunes and eating yummy food will all help. Deep breathing, always recommended in labour to help you "relax, release and let go", is another that helps release more oxytocin, and tells your brain that you are safe, therefore you can birth where you are. It also takes more oxygen to that cramping uterus, so no bad news there!

Prepare the birth environment It could be your home, a birthing centre or a hospital, all of these can be set up to be birth-friendly. Again, this is about your brain more than anything else. A woman who feels safe and calm will be able to relax into the process. Her own natural pain relief in the form of endorphins

are flowing. Safety is in the eye of the beholder though, so while one woman might feel safe in hospital with all the "bells and whistles", another woman may feel safest at home, where everything is familiar. A midwife is present for safety too, two midwives are there when baby arrives, again for safety. Another important factor is privacy. It is stressful to think you are baring your body, or strangers may come into the room, so to have a private space helps her not feel on display and that whoever's in the room is familiar to her. The door is closed and remains so. The lights are dim too. The air is warm, soft music is playing in the background. I joke in my classes that if you removed the midwife and looked at the room and asked the question, "Could we make love here?" if the answer is yes, then it’s conducive to birth. If your plan is for a normal physiological birth, use your most powerful ally, YOU! ď Ž


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Find out more Dick-Read, G. (1959) Childbirth without Fear: The Principles and Practice of Natural Childbirth Lothian, J. A. (2004). Do Not Disturb, the importance of privacy in labour. The Journal of Perinatal Education. www.lamaze.org www.bradleybirth.com

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Hilary Jane Thorne Hilary is a wife and mother to three adult children. She is a CBE and Homeopath, thanks to a scholarship she received from Parents Centre. Hilary has been teaching for Parents Centre for 20 years, first for Auckland East Parents Centre and currently for Tauranga Parents Centre. During the day she works for Family Planning. Hilary’s favourite pastimes are reading and listening to live music, cooking and eating!

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MEMBER DISCOUNTS Parents Centre members can can get exclusive discounts on selected styles from The Sleep Store! Go to thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parentscentre for further details & to sign-up to receive your coupon code to start saving today!

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Love limits

&

Parents have many hopes and dreams for their children’s futures. These might include getting on well with others and having friends; doing well at school; getting a good job; being able to cope with life’s challenges; contributing to the community; being a good parent; and, being mentally and physically healthy. The options are endless. But how can we best nurture our children to increase the chance of them realising their potential? There are many factors that influence children’s development. One of these is the parenting children receive, from the very beginning. While there is no one ‘right’ way to parent children, research over a number of decades has repeatedly found some components of parenting that increase the likelihood of children developing well. There are key things that babies and children, of all ages, need from their parents. One of the most important of these is feeling that they are loved. Once babies are developing into toddlers, they begin to need clear and realistic limits and expectations around their behaviour. This combination of love and limits is known as authoritative parenting (also known as backbone or tree parenting).

What’s love got to do with it? Most adults know that babies depend upon them to meet their

A parent’s love needs to be unconditional: it should not depend upon the child behaving or achieving in certain ways. It’s about the child’s needs, not the parents’. Parents’ needs are very important too, however, it’s not our child’s job to meet them.

physical needs, such as being fed and kept warm and clean. It’s just as important to understand that babies are completely reliant on parents to meet their emotional needs too. And these needs are every bit as important as their physical needs. To quote Urie Bronfenbrenner, “Somebody’s got to be crazy about that kid. That’s number one. First, last, and always.” A parent’s love needs to be unconditional: it should not depend upon the child behaving or achieving in certain ways. It’s about the child’s needs, not the parents’. Parents’ needs are very

important too, however, it’s not our child’s job to meet them. When parents can see the world from their baby’s point of view, their baby is more likely to feel loved. This means parents understanding the actual needs of their own baby, not their ideas of what a baby might need. Parents usually have loving feelings towards their child, however it is the baby’s sense of feeling loved that’s important for their development. This ‘feeling loved’ comes about through the many interactions parent and baby have over time. Every bath, every nappy change, and every cuddle are opportunities to help a child feel loved. Warm, gentle physical contact such as hugging, rocking and holding, are an important part of meeting baby’s needs. Some people think that what matters most for children are shorter periods of ‘quality time’ with their parents. In fact, for children to thrive, both the quality and quantity of parental time and attention are important.

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When it comes to quality, it’s the quality of the interaction between parent and child that’s most important, not the type of activity they’re doing. In other words, it doesn’t have to be a ‘special’ (read, expensive!) outing or activity, but a time when the parent’s attention is fully with the child, listening to them, having fun together. Examples include Mum reading a bedtime story, having a cuddle with her child and talking about the day; or Dad looking into his baby’s eyes, smiling and chatting, whilst gently washing his baby in the bath. It helps if phones and other electronic devices are turned off or far enough away, so they don’t distract parents at these special times.

Effects of love and warmth The relationships young children have with their parents and wha-nau affect most aspects of their development. Parent and child relationships affect: „„ e motional, social and intellectual development „„ l earning and academic achievement „„ k nowing the difference between right and wrong, and the ability to control aggression „„ resilience to later stress „„ mental health in adulthood

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Babies are completely dependent upon their parents – when they know that their parents will be there when they need them, they are likely to develop a sense of security. This in turn enables a child to explore the world, which is important for their learning. A lot of research over recent decades shows the importance of this, but it’s not a new concept by any means. For example, early European settlers noticed the loving care Ma-ori children received from their parents and other adults, as well as the bravery and confidence this care gave the children. When parents provide warm, loving relationships, other aspects of parenting are likely to go better. These relationships provide the foundation for the child’s development. This is very important but as children grow, warm, loving relationships are not enough to enhance optimal development. The other side of the equation is that of setting limits, but the warm, loving relationship provides a strong foundation for this.

What is meant by limit setting? Children need rules or limits that are clearly communicated and explained to them. Clear, consistent limits add to a child’s sense of security and are more effective when the reasons behind them are explained to the child, e.g. “we always put

our seatbelt on to keep us safe before we go out in the car.” In the early years, explanations are best kept brief and simple, keeping in mind the age and development of the child. As children grow, more explanation and negotiation may be necessary. It helps if children understand the reason behind a limit, but this doesn’t necessarily mean they will like it! These expectations work better when they focus on the acceptable behaviour (i.e. what parents want the child to do) rather than the unacceptable behaviour (i.e. what they don’t want to happen). This sometimes means ‘turning around’ what parents might be tempted to say, so rather than, “Don’t draw on the walls!” a focus on the acceptable behaviour might be, “If you want to draw, you need to use this paper.” Although most parents will need to react to their child’s behaviour sometimes, a mostly positive approach is likely to work better. Looking ahead and trying to prevent difficulties before they happen is easier (on everyone!) and more effective. An important part of this is parents catching their child ‘doing things right’ and letting their child know this. Comments such as, “It looks like Rufus is really enjoying your gentle patting,” are likely to be more effective than endless repetitions of “Don’t hurt the dog!” (If you’ve done the latter, don’t despair, you’re in good company!)


Every bath, every nappy change, and every cuddle are opportunities to help a child feel loved.

Nappy Disposal System

Supervising and monitoring children’s behaviour is an important component of limit setting and helps lessen unwanted behaviour. Other important aspects of maintaining limits and boundaries include giving the reason for the rules, reminding children of what’s expected (and this will need to be repeated, probably many times!), and helping them to see how their behaviour affects others. For example, “John was upset when you knocked over his blocks.” Firm but fair limits, suited to the child’s age and abilities, work best. It’s important to check out what children are capable of at different ages; without this knowledge sometimes parents can expect too much, or too little, of their children. This developmental understanding of each child is important in guiding the way parents respond. For young children, the physical environment is an important part of establishing boundaries. Given their natural (and desirable!) curiosity and drive to explore, it’s up to parents to ensure the environment is safe for the child, and that precious objects are well out of reach. Setting limits is an important way in which children learn what behaviour is acceptable, both within their family and wider community. While the nature of the limits will change as children grow, adolescents still need these to be in place too. While it may not always feel comfortable to parents, it’s an important part of the parental role to set appropriate limits. We can shower our children with affection and still explain and monitor the rules. Children tend to feel more secure when they sense there’s an adult

making the adult decisions. This doesn’t mean they will necessarily like those decisions in the short term!

Too much of a good thing? Can limit setting go too far and be less than helpful? Well, yes. Firm and fair limits are helpful, but a focus on obedience, strict rules with punitive discipline, and failure to explain the reasons for rules are all associated with poorer child outcomes. So too is physical punishment, which among other things doesn’t teach children about more appropriate alternative behaviour. Helpful limits don’t prevent a child from doing something they are capable of. They aim to protect rather than control the child, and are generally consistent, not changing from day to day.

Consistency is key When there are two parents (or other adults) involved in raising a child, it’s beneficial if they can have a shared view of their parenting goals. This is likely to involve discussion, negotiation and compromise from both parents. It’s best if these discussions happen away from the children. Ideally both parents would have an authoritative approach, however when this isn’t

When parents provide warm, loving relationships, other aspects of parenting are likely to go better. Continued overleaf...

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While it may not always feel comfortable to parents, it’s an important part of the parental role to set appropriate limits.

the case, it seems that having one parent with this approach is still beneficial, even if that results in parents not being consistent with each other.

What can get in the way of meeting our children’s needs? All of us bring different strengths and experiences to our parenting role. Sometimes these are helpful and at other times they can get in the way of providing what our child actually needs. How parents think and feel about their own attachment experiences has a strong influence on their ability to meet their baby’s needs. It’s not just what happened to parents that’s important, but how they have made sense of it that most matters. Sometimes parents can benefit from professional help in making sense of their own history, so they can avoid passing on less helpful aspects of their history to their children. Certain beliefs about babies and parenting can be unhelpful. For example, the myth that says you can ‘spoil’ a baby by showing them too much affection and they’re better off ‘toughening up’ so they can cope with life. Tons of research indicates that in fact the opposite is true. A baby showered with love and affection is more likely to grow up resilient than one treated harshly. Some parents worry that setting firm limits means their child won’t like them, whereas in fact if such limits aren’t in place a child may end up feeling more disrespectful towards their parents. It’s worth remembering that as the adult, it’s our job to meet our child’s needs, it’s not our child’s job to make us

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feel liked or loved (although, it is a lovely bonus when they do!). Our own upbringing has a big influence on how we in turn parent our own children. If a parent’s upbringing was punitive or very strict, they may promise never to be like that with their own children, and risk swinging to the opposite extreme, not providing enough limits to help their child learn. Alternatively, they may parent in the same way they were parented, perhaps with too many or unrealistic expectations.

It’s a marathon, not a sprint We all like to see our children happy, but if keeping our children happy in the short term is the main goal, it may be harder to establish and maintain appropriate limits that will serve our child better over the long term. As the metaphor goes, “Parenting is marathon not a sprint.” In the short term, maintaining limits can be hard work; exhausting even. While there are days when the easiest option may not be the wisest course of action, if this is the norm, it won’t do our children any favours in the long run. Love AND limits, that’s what’s needed. Equally, our default setting may lean towards the limit side of the equation. Have mealtimes become battlegrounds about menus and manners rather than about spending time together? Before you ask – there is no magic answer. Limits AND love are a good place to start. The fully referenced version of this article is available at: www.brainwave.org.nz 


Keryn O’Neill Knowledge Manager Keryn has a BA (Education & Psychology), MA (Psychology), and Postgraduate Certificate in Educational Psychology. She is passionate about the opportunity Brainwave provides to share evidence-based information about children’s needs during the very important early years. She loves the learning her role involves, and then sharing her knowledge with others, both through writing and training opportunities.

Find out more Brainwave Trust aims to educate everyone involved in the life of a child about the importance of early experiences on brain development and their lifelong impact. Brainwave’s vision is that all children in Aotearoa New Zealand are valued and nurtured so they can reach their potential. www.brainwave.org.nz

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Onboard

family fun Your bags are packed, the kids are in the car and you’re about to begin the family holiday that you’ve spent the past six months dreaming about. But while arriving at your destination is often viewed as the ultimate goal, mindful travel begins the moment you leave home. Whether it’s the joy of the long road and the hours of time off work ahead, more and more families are enjoying the ‘getting there’ as much as the ‘there’ itself. Better still, when the journey includes a rare experience or mode of travel – like a Bluebridge ferry ride across Cook Strait.

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“It was the fastest three hours ever,” according to one parent crossing with Bluebridge during the school holidays. “We couldn’t be more impressed with the service and our kids were well entertained!” Travelling mindfully aims to put all the worries of your home life behind you while on holiday to help seize the day. Mindful travel involves being completely present for the experiences you’re having. By devoting your full attention to each travel experience – for instance, enjoying the spectacular scenery you’re sailing through rather than planning the next petrol stop – you’ll be more relaxed, happy and satisfied by the holiday. Travelling with Bluebridge is all about loving ‘the getting there’. Whether it’s a family road trip from Wellington


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southwards, a sail-to-ride adventure with older kids to take advantage of the epic mountain biking in Marlborough (with Bluebridge, bikes travel free), or a family weekend in the capital, Bluebridge makes mindful travel easy. Bluebridge offers better value fares, Airpoints Dollars™, and 50 sailings a week from downtown Wellington to Picton. There is also a range of onboard extras like free kids’ entertainment, activity packs and kids’ areas, fast uninterrupted free wifi and movies, a sleeper service, and fresh healthy food options including kids’ meals. Private cabins are also available on both ships – these are best to book ahead of your journey – with family units including four or five single beds (bunk style), private ensuite bathroom and shower with linen, and a portacot if requested. A new family fare has been introduced from 15 October, with kids under two now travelling free. You will automatically receive a discount off your whole booking when it includes at least one adult or senior, one infant or child, and any vehicle (excluding motorbikes). It’s available year-round, for any fare type and for one-way or return trips. Described as a journey of spectacular contrasts, check out the viewing decks as you sail from the dynamic, hilly landscape of Wellington Harbour out through the rugged rocks and steep cliffs above the Wellington Heads. On a clear day, you’ll see the outline of the South Island as you leave Wellington. Watch out for dolphins,

whales and other wildlife as you sail the short stretch of open water between Wellington Heads and Tory Channel – a thrill for the whole family. Through the Tory Channel into the Marlborough Sounds, it looks spectacular from every angle with rolling hills, lushly covered native New Zealand bush right up to the water’s edge, and remote holiday homes accessed by water only. Finally, cruise through Queen Charlotte Sound towards Picton and head to an area famous for its beautiful beaches, bush walks and great climate. Or if you’re sailing from Picton, do it all in reverse. During the busy school holiday period, Bluebridge provides free children’s entertainment on selected sailings, such as the always-popular Enchanted Entertainment, Fingal the Puppeteer and the Rainbow Circus (really cool face painting with gems and unicorn horns!). Little ones will also be entertained by the colouring competition, dedicated kids’ area and movies. Bluebridge has been delivering precious cargo across Cook Strait since 1995. That’s almost 25 years of keeping shiploads of people happy with our warm Kiwi hospitality that makes Bluebridge New Zealand’s favourite way to cross the Strait. So, what’s holding you back? Go ahead and book your next family adventure. The ferries are filling up fast for the popular summer season, so if you haven’t booked yet, we recommend you get in soon.

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Travel tips for family crossings „„ B ook a private cabin – great value at only $60 for a four berth and $75 for a five berth, you’ll get extra space and privacy which is ideal if you’re travelling with pre-schoolers. Every cabin comes with a bed (or bunks in the family units), ensuite with shower and toilet, and linen (towels and bedding), which is perfect if you’ve got grumpy tired kids. They’ll give you the key as soon as you board the ship. „„ W hen you check in, remember to say yes to the free kids’ activity packs which comes with colouring in (including the pencils), stickers, puzzles and fun facts. „„ T here are up to five flights of stairs to board the ship. So, if you’d like special assistance to board let the crew know when you check in. You can use the lift available on both ships or they can drive you on in the passenger van. It also has wheelchair lift if required. „„ E ach person can check in up to two bags (max. of 30kg each) and you can carry on one bag up to 7kg and a handbag. Any musical instruments or alcohol must be checked in. You’re welcome to use your buggy/stroller on board or you can check it in and just use a front pack, which you’ll find is a lot easier. „„ C heck-in is one hour before you sail. But if you arrive earlier, you can check in your luggage earlier and they’ll then check you in closer to your sailing time. „„ I f you’re taking your furbaby, you can leave your dog in your car/camper. Just let them know when you check in and they’ll park you on a different part of the ship and ask you to wind your window down a bit and give them water for the journey. Dog cabins are also available. „„ C lothing layers and day packs are a good way to go. Then you can layer up when you’re out on the viewing decks and peel off the layers when you’re relaxing inside and taking in the view through the big windows. „„ T ake advantage of the awesome onboard entertainment, including free movies, free WiFi, the colouring competition, and free children’s entertainers during school holidays (including puppeteers).

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„„ E njoy one of the affordable kids’ meals and other healthy food options on board. If you’ve got really little ones, it’s OK to bring along extra snacks and water in a bag to take on board. You won’t have access to the vehicle deck after you’ve boarded, so have your go-bag ready to go. „„ I f you need milk/formula heated, just ask the crew; they’ll be happy to help. „„ I f you’ve never tested your sea legs or know you get motion sickness, bring your own travel sickness meds. While we aim for smooth sailings, Mother Nature doesn’t always play ball. We don’t stock pharmacy-only medication, though we do have TripEase – a homeopathic product that won’t cause drowsiness. We also recommend you sip water or get some ice chips from one of our crew. It’s best to look towards the horizon and avoid reading or staring at objects inside the ship. Wearing an ear plug in one ear can also help. So can ginger – you can buy ginger tea or ginger beer on board.

„„ B e sure to include your Airpoints™ account number when you book with Bluebridge. You’ll automatically earn one Airpoints Dollar for every $75 you spend on Bluebridge fares. Your booking name just needs to match your Airpoints account name. „„ B ook early if you’re wanting to travel on particular dates. We’re especially busy around the holiday seasons and open for bookings now right through until October next year. If your plans change, you can alter your sailing date and time for free as many times as you like, as long as the new travel date is within six months of your original sailing date. „„ I f you’re travelling in a group with 12 or more people and/or five or more vehicles you can get a special group rate. School/kindergarten group rates are also available. Contact bluebridge.groups@straitnz.co.nz to request a quote. 

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Distinctly New Zealand Books

Auckland-based independent publisher Upstart Press produce a wide variety of New Zealand books for both children and adults. Their publishing list includes some of the country’s most beloved children’s authors, with bestsellers Donovan Bixley and Joy Cowley both represented. Upstart want their publishing to deliver stories for Kiwi kids that have a distinct sense of New Zealandness.

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Publishing books that champion inclusivity is also important to the team – whether it's illustrations that reflect all New Zealanders, diversity of gender roles and family types, or backing titles with significant and simultaneously released te reo Ma-ori editions. One of Upstart's directors, Pat Chapman, is also a highly accomplished author in her own right. She brings her skills from the teaching profession to produce titles that reach different ages and stages of development, including the delightful Best in the World series, which helps young readers celebrate those most important to them.


Tales of Aotearoa Series: How Ma-ui Slowed the Sun and How Ma-ui Fished up the North Island Retold and illustrated by Donovan Bixley, advised and translated by Darryn Joseph and Keri Opai These traditional tales of Ma-ui’s adventures are given Donovan’s unique twist and trademark humour. The pictures are bright and colourful and offer layers both children and parents will love to explore. Both stories are available in English and te reo Ma-ori editions.

The Best Dog in the World Written by Pat Chapman, illustrated by Cat Chapman What makes dogs so special? Is it because they are so funny and playful? Is it because they try to help and don’t always get it right, with such hilarious results? Find out in this delightful picture book that will delight dog-lovers young and old.

The Tallest Truck Gets Stuck (board book) Written by Pat Chapman, illustrated by Richard Hoit The warehouse is busy and there’s lots for the forklifts to do, but the Turret Truck’s wheels come off his track. He’s stuck! However, Bendy Wendy and Little Pallet Jack are quick to the rescue.

Freddy Bear and the Big Bed Written by Joy Cowley, illustrated by Philip Webb Freddy Bear is a big bear now and he needs a bigger bed. It’s time to leave the little old cot behind! The Freddy Bear series of books by beloved author Joy Cowley are designed for reading aloud to babies and toddlers, and relate to early stages of child development with experiential learning in a safe environment.

The Best Mum in the World / The Best Dad in the World Written by Pat Chapman, illustrated by Cat Chapman

Polly Does NOT Want a Cracker Written and illustrated by Stephanie Thatcher Polly the parrot is rude and grumpy because she's fed up with people asking, "Does Polly want a cracker?". But when she is banned from the zoo and sent to a pet shop, something amazing happens.

What makes Mum so special? Is it because she’s so brave, or so funny, or can drive a tractor? How about Dad? Is it because he never gets tired and loves listening to music played by toddlers on pots and pans? This delightful, funny picture book will be every child’s favourite. There’s even a special page for children to draw a picture of their parent.

Bendy Wendy and the Fire Truck Written by Pat Chapman, illustrated by Richard Hoit It’s night-time in the warehouse, but Pallet Jack can’t sleep. Something is wrong. He discovers a fire and sets out to wake the others. Together, the forklifts get everybody out safely, and Bendy Wendy even manages to call the fire brigade!

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Go potty! Give old terracotta pots a new lease on life with funky colour and a bit of creativity. Children will love decorating the pots, then fill them with herbs or flowers and they make great gifts for the festive season!

You will need A selection of Resene testpots Resene Waterborne Aquapel Old or new terracotta pots Selection of different sized brushes Pencil or pen Selection of herbs and salad seedlings Potting mix and trowel

To make 1. Clean pots if necessary first. Seal with Resene Waterborne Aquapel inside and out. Use different sized brushes to paint stripes, solid colour or patterns around the pots. Leave a gap between the colours (you’ll paint this next) so that they don’t run together. Let the first coat of paint dry. 2. Finish painting your base colours round the pots and let them dry. Draw additional designs with pen

or pencil, using simple shapes like crosses, bars, hearts, spots, wiggly lines, vertical stripes, checks, diamonds, circles or ovals. 3. Paint the designs onto the pots. Choose contrasting colours for extra impact. Let the paint dry. 4. Pop a stone over the hole in the bottom of each pot, then half fill with potting mix. Remove the herbs from their containers and loosen the earth around the roots. Place them in the pots to decide what looks good with what. A mix of heights, colours and leaf shapes work well. Once you’ve decided, place them in and fill in the gaps with more potting mix, so each plant is well supported. Water gently and place in a sunny spot outside. This makes a fantastic gift! 

Let your ideas loose all over your walls with Resene Write-on Wall Paint.

Get

! g n i t i r w

Simply apply over your existing light coloured wall paint. Then once dry and cured you can use whiteboard markers to write all over the wall without damaging the surface. And when it’s time to delete an idea just grab a soft cloth or whiteboard eraser, rub out the marker and start again. With Resene Write-on Wall Paint there’s no limit to your ideas.

The magazine of Parents Centre

0800 RESENE (737 363)

www.resene.co.nz

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Two

very different births

Travel back in time to January 2015, and I was in labour with our first child. It was a relatively quick labour… first contraction was around 11pm then just six hours later we were pulling up to the hospital at 5am and our baby son, Colin, was born at 5:13am. All seemed to be well, baby was healthy, there were no major complications, and baby took to the breast easily. After an ice-block and some toast we were told that there was no space available in the postnatal ward, at Wellington or Kenepuru, and that we should go home. So, somehow, at around 10am – only 5 hours after giving birth – I was wheelchaired out of the hospital with a new baby. But even with the support of my husband and my mum, who is a registered practice nurse (and was

even a Plunket nurse many years ago), I was in no state to go home. I was in no state to even make that decision. There were a few things that weren’t right. Firstly, the pain I was in. While giving birth I had dislocated my tailbone. I also had a seconddegree perineal laceration. But I was a new mum, I’d never given birth before, so I just assumed that the

pain that I felt was “normal” – no one asked me about pain. It wasn’t until later that day when I was at home, after everything started to sink in, that I realised something wasn’t right, that I was in a lot of pain down there. But the only pain relief I had was Panadol and Ibuprofen for the perineal laceration – which barely took the edge off.

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I wish that the time had been taken to give me a more thorough assessment before sending me home. I wish that someone had talked with my family and taken the time to check that they were ok and knew what going home so soon entailed.

Secondly, I was unable to shower; every time I tried to stand, I began to feel faint and started passing out. Thirdly, I was exhausted and depleted. I had not slept in over 24 hours and the only thing I had to eat was an ice-block and some toast. Fourthly, we were sent home with minimal advice or reassurance for me or my family. We had no idea about what to expect in terms of bleeding, or things to look out for with baby. This put my family in a position where they were anxious about my well-being and baby’s well-being, and this concern was compounded by having no professional help on hand. Last, but certainly not least, I was sent home without having had the time or space to bond with my new baby. The bonding process had already been compromised by the quick nature of the birth – it was also severely compromised by the pain I was experiencing but not being treated for. Breastfeeding was having a detrimental effect on bonding also because I was in agony from my tailbone when trying to sit and feed baby.

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I felt unimportant When I left the hospital, I felt unimportant, a burden to the system, an inconvenience. I was exhausted, confused, and in shock. We felt like we didn’t have a choice about going home. And ultimately my family and I felt that the system took advantage of our forgiving, tolerant, and accommodating nature. So, just days after giving birth I was a sobbing mess, exhausted, confused, and with no idea about how to pull myself together. Was this the baby blues? My mother had gone home to Dunedin, and all my husband could do for me was make me a sandwich and sit with me. The baby blues continued for days, weeks, and months, and I just figured what I was feeling was normal for new mums. I kept to myself, isolated by my mental and physical well-being. And the bond with my son remained elusive. It wasn’t until several months later at a GP visit when I opened up about having some pretty scary thoughts that I was diagnosed with postnatal depression, and my journey to recovery could begin. This included proper treatment for my tailbone

injury, counselling, and medication for the depression. Ideally, I wish that women could go to the delivery suite or birthing unit as soon as they go into labour – they shouldn’t have to wait until they are in established labour before they get bundled off to the hospital. I wish that women could have more choice and control about their care during labour, birth, and during the postnatal period. Women and their families should be making an informed decision about going home with baby – not just being sent home. There is a huge emphasis on the health and wellbeing of the baby for which I am hugely grateful. But if the mother is not ready then this compromises the care that she can provide for baby in both the short and long term. I wish that the time had been taken to give me a more thorough assessment before sending me home. I wish that someone had talked with my family and taken the time to check that they were ok and knew what going home so soon entailed. At the very least women who give birth in hospital should have had


a proper meal, shower, time to process the birth, time to bond with their baby, and receive a thorough assessment of their physical and emotional well-being before going home. Plans should be put in place for further support as needed. Going home should be a collaborative decision between mothers, families, midwives and other medical staff.

Know your entitlements My advice for other women is know your rights and entitlements. Stand up for yourself and have an advocate who is willing to stand up for you and who can communicate your wishes and best interests on your behalf if you are unable to do so. Now, four and a half years later, I have been fortunate to have a totally different experience. In July I gave birth to our second child, Ruben. With the benefit of hindsight, I was very clear with my midwife and family about what I needed, and what I felt would help protect me from developing postnatal depression. I stayed for two nights at the lovely Kenepuru maternity unit

in Wellington, where I was able to process the birth, rest, nourish myself, and ensure that everything was as it should be. I was able to shower in my own time and had the benefit of 24/7 support. My stay allowed my family to be prepared for when I came home. But most importantly, it gave us all the space and the time to meet and bond with the latest addition to our family. ď Ž

DO YOU KNOW... that you are entitled to 48 hours fully funded inpatient postnatal care after giving birth? And that you can choose where you will receive it?

Helen Pierce Helen lives in Wellington with her husband and two sons. She is a Research Assistant at the School of Psychology at Victoria University.

Empowering New Zealand women Whakamanatia nga- wa-hine katoa o Aotearoa www.mothersmatter.nz

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Cooking

for a cause Al Brown’s apple pie, Matilda Green’s Mediterranean chicken and Shavaughn Ruakere’s ambrosia sure get the taste buds going, but that’s not why these familiar faces are sharing their recipes in a new book.

Photo: Belgian biscuits, Louise Perkins’ favourite recipe.

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In October, Sweet Louise, a national organisation supporting Kiwis with incurable breast cancer, launched its inaugural The Sweet October Cookbook, a collection of 31 recipes for 31 days. Sweet Louise ambassador and recipe contributor Hannah Barrett, who married All Black Beauden Barrett earlier this year, has a very personal connection to Sweet Louise – the organisation was founded in 2005 in memory of her godmother, and her mother’s best friend, Louise Perkins, who passed away a year earlier after living with incurable breast cancer for 10 years. “Louise was not just my godmother, but also a friend. She was full of life and always so much fun. One of my most fond memories of her was when she took me shopping to buy me a Christmas present – we spent the morning together and that was the last time I saw her before she passed away. I couldn’t be more proud of Sweet Louise, honouring her legacy and supporting some incredibly deserving wa-hine while they battle breast cancer,” says Hannah, whose mother was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago. Professionally styled by volunteers and photographed by Shaun CatoSymonds, the kitchen keepsake is available for download for $31 from sweetlouise.co.nz. All proceeds from the book will enable Sweet Louise to continue its work supporting New Zealanders living with incurable breast cancer.

Belgian biscuits

Method

Louise Perkins’ favourite recipe

Biscuits

Louise’s love of Belgian Biscuits began when her Aunty May made them for her. When Louise and her friends would go out for lunch, she would always sneak one for later. It was the stylish blend of brown and pink with the twist of red that made them look so good. We’ve dedicated this delicious recipe to the memory of Louise – we are sure she would approve.

Preheat oven to 180°C. Line 2–3 baking trays with baking paper. Cream the butter and sugar in a cake mixer until well creamed. Add the egg and mix well.

Makes: 24 biscuits

Ingredients Biscuits 250g butter, softened 1½ cups soft brown sugar, well packed 1 egg 2¾ cups plain flour 3 tsp baking powder 2½ tsp mixed spice 1½ tsp ground cinnamon ½ tsp ground nutmeg

Sift the flour, baking powder and spices together and using a spatula, mix into the butter mixture until it all comes together to form a dough. Divide the dough in half. Wrap individually in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes or until firm. Roll each half of the dough between two sheets of baking paper to about 5mm in thickness. Using a 5–6cm fluted cookie cutter, cut out the biscuits and place on the baking trays. Repeat with all the remaining dough. Bake for 10–15 minutes or until lightly browned. Leave to cool on the tray before transferring to a wire rack to cool. Raspberry jam to sandwich Homemade has the best flavour and is very easy to make. Put the frozen raspberries in a saucepan and gently bring to the boil. Add the caster sugar and boil for 20 minutes. Cool.

500g frozen raspberries

Spread half the biscuits with the raspberry jam and sandwich together with the other half.

500g caster sugar

Icing

Icing

For the icing, sift the icing sugar into a bowl then add the butter and milk and mix until combined. Add a touch of pink or red colouring to get the desired colour. If too stiff, add a little more milk. Ice each biscuit and sprinkle with the coloured sugar or raspberry jelly crystals. These biscuits are also delicious just on their own.

Raspberry jam

Add pink or red food colouring if desired 1 cup icing sugar 1 tsp butter, melted 1 tbsp milk

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’Love life’ butternut curry From Karen Nimmo, Sweet Louise member

“I decided to try a vegan, plantbased diet since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, which is not always easy, so I have had to be a bit creative at times. ’Love Life’ is my motto and my tattoo was designed for me by a friend and has become my own personal brand/logo. This is my version of Butter Chicken Curry but without the chicken. I try to source organic products when possible and this recipe contains no cooking oils, butter or added salt – that is my choice, but you can choose to add if you wish.” Serves 4

Ingredients 1 butternut pumpkin, peeled and diced (approx 600g) 1 large onion, chopped 2–3 cloves of garlic, crushed 10–12 mushrooms, sliced 1 red pepper, chopped 1–1½ cups cashew nuts 1 x 400g can of organic chopped tomatoes 1 x 400g can of organic coconut milk 3–4 tbsp butter chicken powder – see spice mix 1– 2 tbsp organic tomato paste 1 lemon, squeezed 1 cup organic black rice

Method Gently sauté the onions and garlic in a non-stick pan for about 5 minutes, then add the spice mix or paste and continue frying for another 2–3 minutes. Finally, add the coconut milk, tinned tomatoes and tomato paste, and all the vegetables as well as the lemon juice. Cook gently for about an hour and stir frequently to prevent any sticking on the bottom of the pan. Boil the black rice separately, strain and serve as an accompaniment to the curry, together with steamed broccoli or spinach.

Spice mix You can always make your own blend of ‘Butter Chicken’ spices or source from the supermarket, Mrs Rogers Natural Butter Chicken Curry Powder or Asian Home Gourmet Indian Butter Chicken Paste.

Corn and vegetable fritters From Angela Berrill, dietitian and nutritionist

“Do any of you have a weekend food tradition? In our family, fritters tend to appear pretty frequently on our weekend menu. I find they are a great way to reduce food waste by using leftover vegetables, as well as helping you reach your 5+ A Day. Fritters not only make a nutritious meal, but you can also freeze any extras and use them for lunchbox fillers or for afternoon tea.” Makes 9–10

Ingredients 1 x 340g can of corn kernels, drained 1 cup of your favourite vegetables, grated or finely chopped (zucchini, carrot, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, capsicum, legumes) 2 spring onions, finely sliced 3 tbsp fresh herbs, chopped (parsley, thyme, coriander, marjoram, basil)

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Avocado chocolate mousse From Hilary Chung, Sweet Louise member

”This is one of my favourite recipes. It is pure raw goodness! And a perfect way to use up ripe avocados. Avocados contain many nutrients you need in your diet – they are full of healthy fats, rich in potassium, vitamins C & E, and antioxidants that keep the immune system strong and your skin beautiful.” Serves 6

Ingredients Mousse 4 medium free-range eggs, lightly beaten ½ cup plain flour ½ tsp baking powder sea salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste 100g feta cheese (optional), or for a dairy free option replace the feta with your favourite cheese alternative extra virgin olive oil, for frying

Method Turn oven to 120˚C. Put the corn, all the vegetables, spring onions, herbs, eggs, flour, baking powder, salt, pepper and feta cheese (if using) in a large mixing bowl. Mix to combine. Heat a little olive oil in a frying pan over a medium heat. Once the oil is hot, add about a dessert spoon of mixture to the pan and fry until golden brown. Turn and repeat on

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the other side until the fritter is cooked through and golden brown. Remove from the pan and transfer to a paper-towel lined tray to drain. Keep warm in the oven. Using the same method, repeat the process until all the mixture has been used. Serve as is or with toppings such as poached eggs, smoked salmon, avocado and a fresh garden salad.

2 large ripe avocados ¾ cup of milk of your choice – for vegan use a plant-based milk ¾ cup + 1 tbsp raw cacao powder ½ cup maple syrup, coconut nectar or raw agave 1 tsp vanilla essence ½ tsp sea salt 2 tbsp cacao butter, melted 2 tbsp cold-pressed coconut oil, melted Chocolate crumb 3 tbsp caster sugar (or substitute coconut sugar) 2 tbsp each, cocoa and flour (or substitute gluten-free flour) 1/3 cup ground almonds 2 tbsp butter, melted and cooled


Photo below: Hilary Chung with daughter Mia whipping up a recipe for The Sweet Louise Cookbook

Method

Chocolate crumb

Mousse

Preheat the oven to 170°C.

Put all the ingredients except the last two into a bowl and blend until smooth with a stick blender. With the blender running gently, add the melted cacao butter and coconut oil.

Line a baking tray with baking paper.

Mix until combined. Refrigerate for 2 hours prior to serving. Garnish with toasted hazelnuts and chocolate crumb.

Place the sugar, cocoa, flour and almonds into a small bowl. Mix until combined. Pour in butter and mix with your fingers to form irregular-sized crumbs. Scatter the crumbs onto the baking tray and bake for about 10 minutes until firm and toasted. Cool. Store in a sealed container. 

D O O F Y B BA O WITH ND ADDE R? SUGA

Developed with nutritionists, Countdown’s Own Smiling Tums baby food range is sweetened naturally with fruit and veges. There’s a flavour for every mealtime - perfect for busy parents on the go.

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Wishing all Kiwi parents a peaceful festive break and a wonderful summer holiday! From the Kiwiparent tea

e h t m o r F t team n e r a p i w Ki

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Winners

Congratulations to the lucky winners from issue 292

Bolli sensory balls Rhianon Murray, Blenheim Jessie Lowe, Auckland Emma Howan, Timaru Shannon Lyons, Waiuku Sze Hwee Yeo, Auckland Isabella Ruffell, Auckland Gemma Matson, Hamilton Jayne Gilkison, Dunedin Ruth Gamble, Porirua Robbie Stephen, Wellington

Woolbabe sleeping suit

Touchwood safety cot

Charlie Halliwell, Hamilton

Helen Sturmfels, Auckland

Merino/possum blanket from Roots and Wings Justin Eichblatt, Auckland

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Our Funders Thriving with the support of community grants funding Did you know all Parents Centres are registered charities? Funding for our services comes from a variety of sources including government contracts, commercial partnerships, fundraising, donations, Lottery Community funding, gaming trusts, community trusts and foundations. Just over half of Parents Centres operate user-pays childbirth education programmes, however the amount paid by expectant parents rarely covers the full cost of providing education and support to new families. Centre management, governance and administration work is done almost solely by volunteers. Grants and fundraising income is used to subsidise programmes and keep them affordable and accessible for as many families as possible. The Community Organisation Grants Scheme, known as COGS, provides government-funded grants to support voluntary and not-for-profit organisations working in local communities and neighbourhoods. In 2019, Parents Centres received COGS grants to support a range of programmes and projects in their communities. Some Parents Centres also received multi-year funding, providing certainty of sustainable funding of their programmes over the next three years. Kim Black, Funding Manager, Parents Centres New Zealand

Nicola Law President, Balclutha Parents Centre “Our COGS funding goes towards our running costs, helps us keep our membership and session costs down, letting us provide a range of activities in a fun and safe environment for the kids that they might not otherwise get.�

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Community grants funding

Casey Eason President, Gore Parents Centre “Gore's COGS goes towards the daily running costs of our centre. This means we are able to continue to offer free parent education for our members and reduced costs for parent education for our wider community. It also helps us fund an operational administrator that supports and helps with hosting our parent education.”

Kylie Keller President, Stratford Parents Centre “We are so grateful to receive COGS funding at Stratford Parents Centre. This year we were approved for multi-year funding, which certainly takes the pressure off having to apply each year. The money we receive goes towards paying our yearly operational costs. Without this essential funding we wouldn’t be able to have our centre open twice a week for playgroups or offer childbirth education courses to the community.”

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Our Partners A winning combination Our partnership with Resene, like all our partnerships, provides a genuine member benefit to our members and their families. This is a time in our members' lives when they are looking to create a lovely new space for their babies or toddlers. Resene is working with us to make that easier for our members, offering budgetfriendly advice on getting your nursery looking great in time for the birth, choosing the right paint and creating the perfect play area. Our members can access discounts, advice and help from the vast network of Resene ColorShops around New Zealand whilst our Centres benefit from joint fundraisers and discounted supplies. Catherine Short, Partnerships and Advertising Manager

A word from Resene There is nothing like a new child to encourage you to rethink those white painted walls. Resene is delighted to be working with Parents Centre to help Kiwi children experience more colour in their lives. Decorating a nursery or child’s space is such a popular way to celebrate an impending birth or a new arrival. Our Resene ColorShop staff can help expecting and new parents add colour to their homes with Resene Environmental Paint choices, wallpaper and handy application advice and tips, and special Parents Centre member discounts. As a familyowned company, we know just how important families are. We’ll also be helping promote the services Parents Centre offer to a wider audience so that more Kiwi families can benefit from all the valuable advice and support that Parents Centre has to offer. Nick Nightingale, Managing Director, Resene

Huggies online pregnancy and parenting

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Philips Avent

The Sleep Store

PC member benefits: Supply breast pads and breastfeeding information to all members.

PC member benefits: 20% off selected items which are regularly updated

PC member benefits: All attendees of CBE get a Huggies gift pack, attendees of Baby and You and toilet training programmes get gift packs.

Phone: 0800 104 401 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT

www.thesleepstore.co.nz content/parentscentre

Phone: 0800 733 703 www.huggies.co.nz

kiwiparent


Supporting Kiwi parents

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Baby On The Move PC member benefits: 20% off car seat hire, selected buggies and cots for all members. Phone: 0800 222 966 www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Johnson & Johnson PC member benefits: All attendees of Parents Centre CBE and Baby and You get a J&J baby bath gift pack and information on science of the skin.

Resene PC member benefits: Various discounts on decorating supplies and paints with Parents Centre membership card.

www.jnj.com

www.resene.co.nz

Parenting Place

Poise

U by Kotex

www.theparentingplace.com

PC member benefits: All attendees of CBE and Baby and You classes get a Poise gift pack.

PC member benefits: All attendees of CBE get a U by Kotex gift pack.

www.poise.co.nz

www.ubykotex.co.nz

SplashSave PC member benefits: 30% discount on water safety package.

If you want to partner with Parents Centre, or would like to discuss how this may work for your business, contact Cath on:

www.splashsave.co.nz

c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

Birthing Centre A free service to women of all ages whose pregnancy is considered lowrisk primary care. www.birthingcentre.co.nz

The magazine of Parents Centre

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Win great giveaways Be in the draw to win a Philips Avent Steriliser To help protect your baby, sterilising any feeding equipment is recommended until your baby is 12 months old. Steam sterilisation is quick, effective and chemical-free. The Philips Avent 3-in-1 Electric Steam Steriliser with its 3-piece modular system, perfectly fits the items you want to sterilise, whether it’s a few small items or a full load, sterilising in as little as 6 minutes. Available from leading baby retailers. RRP $209.99

Enter online at kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by 5pm, January 24, 2020. Winners will be published in issue 295.

Win a Bumkins Prize Pack of summer essentials from the Sleep Store Prize pack includes: „„ R eusable swim nappy and hat set for baby and toddler „„ Reusable travel bag „„ Snack bag 2-pack www.thesleepstore.co.nz

www.philips.co.nz

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz 3 sandpit toys to be won

Win a Kiwiherb Family Pack valued at $160

These durable plastic vehicles feature fully functional parts, perfect for endless hours of fun in the sandpits! Approximately 15 cm in size and suitable for ages 3 and up. Choose a loader or a front-end loader. RRP $49.99.

The perfect support for natural health over the summer holidays. Kiwiherb specialises in effective, premium herbal healthcare products for the whole family. Made in NZ with sustainably sourced ingredients, Kiwiherb’s children’s range is BioGro certified organic. Total RRP$164.40.

www.babyonthemove.co.nz

www.Kiwiherb.co.nz

3 Smashers EPIC Egg to be won

Win this great prize pack from Little Inspiration Factory

Slime, fizz and SMASH your way through over 25 surprises inside to build the exclusive Smash-o-saur Dino! Use the Scratch Map to excavate the Dino Egg to unearth compounds like the Fizzy Lava Bomb and Ice Age putty with hidden Smash-o-saur bones. Collect all the bones to start building one of three exclusive Smash-o-saurs! Inside each Epic Dino Egg, you’ll discover more surprises like Smash Eggs, digging tools and rebuilders. RRP $49.99.

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Little Inspiration Factory design gender-neutral clothing and inspiring prints in English, Te Reo Ma-ori and Samoan with positive, uplifting, empowering, and inspiring messages to celebrate our little people’s amazing personalities. Prize pack includes: a set of four prints, an adult’s tee and a child’s crew sweatshirt. RRP $121. www.littleinspirationfactory.co.nz


Worth capturing, because there’s nothing like a hug

The magazine of Parents Centre ® Registered Trademark Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc. © KCWW

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Profile for Parents Centres New Zealand Inc

Kiwiparent Issue #293 December 2019 - January 2020  

Magazine from Parents Centre New Zealand

Kiwiparent Issue #293 December 2019 - January 2020  

Magazine from Parents Centre New Zealand