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parenting is a trip!


OUR GLOBAL FAMILY Seattle’s latest population

boom draws new residents from around the world



THE CHALLENGES OF RAISING BILINGUAL KIDS It’s not always what you’d hope, from a parent who’s living it 37


8 conversation starters to get more than “fine” this year 13

5 BOOKS KIDS SHOULD READ THIS AUTUMN Talk about the refugee crisis with these reads 43

Fallin’ for the Arts From Newsies to Aladdin, there’s a show for everyone

Page 26

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inside SEPTEMBER 2017


Seattle’s latest population boom draws new residents from around the world FEATURE • PAGE 16


6  PARENTMAP.COM Go beyond print


Practice Doesn’t Make Perfect


Back to School 8 Questions to Get Your Kids Talking


September Is a Great Month To . . .


Compassion Should Never Be Controversial



From Recent Research to GaGa Gear Expectant and New Parents, This Is for You



Raising Kind Angela Rose Black, Ph.D., on Mindfulness

Ages + Stages

37 Raising Bilingual Kids

Why this mom is teaching her kids Chinese

43 5 Kids’ Books About the Refugee Crisis Let these stories help guide a conversation


Out + About

24 S  EPTEMBER CALENDAR 26 F  ALLIN’ FOR THE ARTS Plan Your Season Our Selection of Shows, Exhibits and More

Advertising Sections

12–15 A  rts + Activities  irthdays 33–35 B F  oreign Language Schools 36  WAIS Schools 38–39 N 41–44 S chools + Preschools

13 • September 2017 • 5

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6 • September 2017 •


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8 • September 2017 •

hen I joined the ParentMap team as managing editor, I didn’t expect that our September issue’s theme — our global families — would be controversial. But after President Trump’s promises to “build a wall” and the disturbing and tragic events that took place in Charlottesville in mid-August, inclusivity has begun to feel political. As a long-time resident of the Puget Sound area, I’ve lived everywhere from Tacoma to Lynnwood, Bellevue to Ballard. No matter where I’ve lived or worked, I’ve been fortunate enough to collaborate with people from all races, ethnicities and walks of life. Many are new immigrants to the United States, and all of them bring bits of their own cultures to the table. In fact, my kids’ former nanny — an immigrant from Romania — joins my family’s Thanksgiving table each year. This month’s issue highlights the people who are part of the changing face of the Pacific Northwest. The feature In today’s political story (p. 16) introduces us to families climate, we’re from New Zealand, Sweden, Australia, Iraq, El Salvador, South Korea and San especially glad Francisco. They share, in their own words, their worries and fears of moving to to showcase the America, and reminds us of how much 9:20 PM we have in common. increasingly This month, we also delve into what diverse families it’s really like to raise a bilingual child — including the part no one talks about who make up our (p. 37). But no matter where you came from or how old your children are, there’s neighborhoods work to be done to foster compassion. We and communities. also highlight books to help your family discuss one of the biggest global issues of our time: the refugee crisis (p. 43). Of course, there’s plenty happening in your very own neighborhood. For most parents, September is synonymous with one thing: back-to-school. To help, we encourage you to visit pg. 45 and cut (yes, cut!) out our list of questions to get your kid talking about their school day. While you’re at it, you may want to jot down a few picks from our round-up of fall arts (p. 26). Plus, former ParentMap executive editor Natalie Singer-Velush weighs in on the age-old question of kids and activities: Should we make them practice or let them be (p. 13)? As always, our issue closes with our Someone You Should Know section (p. 46). September highlights the work of Angela Rose Black, who is re-imagining what mindfulness looks like in a world where mindfulness often centers on whiteness and economic prosperity. In today’s political climate, we’re especially glad to showcase the increasingly diverse families who make up our neighborhoods and communities. As the newest member of the ParentMap family, I’m happy to welcome you to ours.

— Jody Allard, Managing Editor


September 2017, Vol. 15, No. 9 PUBLISHER/EDITOR Alayne Sulkin


Nancy Chaney


Leah Abraham, Gemma Alexander, Nancy Schatz Alton, Jessica Graham, JaiYing Grygiel, Natalie Singer-Velush


Lindsey Carter


Nicole Persun



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all about baby Find Your Village ALLI ARNOLD


Being a new parent can be really isolating, but baby, we’ve got your back. Sign up for our weekly eNews for the best in outings advice ‘cause parenting is a trip!

From Recent Research to Gaga Gear


Have You Heard?


an a baby learn a second language in an hour a day? A new study says yes — as long as you’re not afraid of a little goo goo gaga.

Researchers at the University of Washington Institute

of Learning & Brain Sciences (I-LABS) enrolled 280 infants and children in a play-based, English-language program based in Madrid, Spain. Teachers in the course spoke to the children in “baby talk,” that lovey-dovey language you use to talk directly to your baby with simple grammar, high and exaggerated pitch and drawn-out vowels. After 18 weeks of one hour of English session per day, the children in the UW program produced an average of 74 English words or phrases per child, per hour. The kids in the control group, who got the standard bilingual program, had an average of 13 word or phrases per child, per hour. Researchers credit baby talk with much of the difference. “With the right science-based approach that combines the features known to grow children’s language, it is possible to give very young children the opportunity to start learning a second language, with only one hour of play per day in an early education setting,” said Naja


We’ve Been There

“Unless you’re OK with ‘I want some booby!’ yelled loudly at a restaurant, call breastmilk something you don’t mind having shouted loudly at a restaurant as your kid gets older.” — Nadine, REDMOND “You can’t spoil a newborn by holding them too much.” — Rebecca V., SEATTLE

and one of the study’s co-authors. “This has big

“Take up offers to get breaks, even if only for an hour.” — Lisa L. LAKE FOREST PARK

implications for how we think about foreign-

“Don’t take yourself too seriously.”

Ferjan Ramirez, one of the research scientists

language learning.” 10 • September 2017 •

— Meriaten L., DUVALL

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Gear We’re Gaga About Gadgets and gizmos perfect for that baby shower registry.

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There is no time in life when the brain develops more rapidly than during the first five years. Here’s a glimpse at all that’s taking place inside your baby’s brain! A Brand New Brain Every baby is born with a brain that contains billions of neurons.

Learning Like Lightning The brain is wired to grow. In the first five years, it makes 1 million neural connections every single second!

Communication Is Key Above all, there’s one thing that helps young brains grow strong— adult-child relationships.

Hi, Baby Even kids who can’t yet talk are looking, listening, and relating to you non-stop.

You Are A Brain Builder Every time you interact with a child you’re doing something major— shaping a growing mind.

Nurture Future Greatness The first five years are when the brain builds its foundation so kids can thrive as adults.

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Practice Doesn’t Make Perfect

When it came to her kids building their skills, this mom decided practice was optional By Natalie Singer-Velush


hen I was in seventh grade, I had a friend named Jessica. Jessica had everything, it seemed: She was one of three daughters (I prayed for and was denied a sister year after year); her parents were accomplished professors; and she had a calendar of extracurricular activities I envied, including piano. Between the three daughters, the keys were always tinkling at Jessica’s house. If I happened to be at her house during her piano lesson, I’d wait in her room while she sat beside her teacher, rerunning her scales. “You’re so lucky,” I told her once, envious of the mystique of the piano. “I hate it,” she whispered, her eyes tearing. “My parents force me to practice every night. The piano makes me sick.” I’ve never forgotten the look on Jessica’s face. I promised myself that I would never push my own kids into practicing something they didn’t want to do. Fast-forward 25 years. My daughters have participated in many extracurriculars: violin, ballet, soccer, debate club. I’ve rarely demanded they practice. They are 10 and 12 now, and while they do some of these activities beautifully, it’s possible they could be twice as accomplished if I pushed them more. I don’t care. There’s been unending debate about whether today’s kids are overscheduled, and whether extracurricular activities are helping them “find their passion” or preventing them from developing essential skills: self-motivation, grit and the creativity that stems from boredom and activating the imagination. A few years ago, my urge to chill about practice was bolstered when I read The Dolphin Way by psychiatrist Shimi K. Kang, M.D., of Vancouver, British Columbia. Citing research about sleep deprivation and stress, Kang urged parents to abandon intense schedules and embrace “pod” life, based on communities and spontaneous play. A 2014 study by the University of Colorado,

My daughters have participated in many extracurriculars: violin, ballet, soccer, debate club. I’ve rarely demanded they practice.

Boulder, supports this thinking. It found that children who spent more time engaged in unstructured play and less time in organized activities displayed higher levels of executive functioning. Of course, you can find research to support any parenting instinct. When I read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers in 2008 (my daughters were still toddlers), I became convinced that if my kids were going to succeed at anything, we’d have

to make sure they got in their 10,000 hours of “deliberate practice” as soon as possible. Luckily, a 2014 Princeton study — which found that practice accounted for only a 12 percent average difference in performance — convinced me to take a more relaxed approach. I wasn’t ready to unschedule my kids completely, but I decided I wouldn’t force them to practice. If they arrived at next week’s violin class playing J.S. Bach’s Minuet No. 1 with no improvement, so be it. If my children were going to grow passionate about and skilled at something, they would have to push themselves. I wouldn’t nag, threaten or pressure. Effort would be met with positive reinforcement, but it would not be mandated. (Schoolwork is different; we require that it be completed.) My husband agreed. Maintaining this value isn’t easy. I’ve fought the urge to project my own childhood insecurities and adult ambitions on my kids, including my regret that I never mastered an instrument and my fantasy of being world-class at, well, anything. I also realize that not pushing kids to practice is a luxury — that my family is privileged to afford • September 2017 • 13

voice Practice Doesn’t Make Perfect continued from page 13 extracurricular activities and lessons, and that spending money without “tangible” benefits is an extension of that privilege. For us, though, the important lesson is not to spend a certain amount on building skills — children can explore their passions at the library, through free or affordable community-based programs or by bartering lessons with another family. My older daughter is wild about baking; she taught herself from books. My younger daughter became obsessed with crochet this summer, taught for free by a kind next-door neighbor. What I want my kids to know is this: You are your own best motivator, and if you can learn to chase your own passions and push yourself without anyone nagging or forcing you, you can do anything. I’ve seen this — the push and pull between having fun and becoming an expert — play out


Puppet Theatre


time and again with my daughters. Both have watched friends evolve into elite soccer players while they’ve stayed happily at the rec level. Last year, my older daughter performed at her middle school’s fall concert; she played beautifully, but I know if she practiced more she could already be slotted into one of the more advanced orchestras. More recently, my younger daughter, who is a supreme arguer, lost the chance to participate in this year’s debate competition because she missed a couple of classes and chose not to spend hours at home catching up. But you know what? She’s happy. They’re happy. They have time for relaxing, pretending and daydreaming. Our kids know we’ll support them in whatever pursuits they try. We encourage them to give their all. We discourage quitting. But we don’t force them. We don’t put the emphasis on the number of hours committed. We

focus on how good it makes them feel when they do something they love. My older daughter spent this summer on a selfimposed practice schedule aimed at helping her jump ahead an orchestra level, because she wanted to. My younger daughter recently overcame her fear of performing in public by standing in the middle of Seattle Center one summer day to play the fiddle, its case open, awing passersby not necessarily with her perfected technique, but with her guts and enthusiasm. The kids will be all right. n Natalie Singer-Velush is a Seattle writer and communications manager, and the former executive editor of ParentMap. Her memoir, California Calling, will be out on March 1, 2018. Follow her on Twitter (@Natalie_Writes) and at


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Music Matters, No Matter Your Child’s Age

Is your baby the next Mozart? While unlikely — the nearly superhuman Mozart achieved fame as a violinist, pianist and composer all by the age of 5 — most children are born with incredible musical abilities that eclipse those of adults. “The sounds that surround children stimulate their listening ears, and the musical expressions they experience are pathways for understanding the world in which they live,” says Patricia Shehan Campbell, professor of ethnomusicology at the University of Washington and an expert in children’s music. Making music is a social activity that encourages bonding, aids in a child’s intellectual growth and helps your child learn and share emotions. The earlier you get started, the better — you don’t even need any talent or equipment! For tips on where to start, visit

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OUR GLOBAL FAMILY Seattle’s latest population

boom draws new residents from around the world STORY AND FAMILY PHOTOS BY JIAYING GRYGIEL

16 • September 2017 •


ust try driving through South Lake Union on a weekday afternoon. Old buildings being torn down, high-rises going in, construction equipment everywhere as the Amazon boom accelerates. Even walking can be difficult, the sidewalks teeming with the badges-on-a-lanyard crowds. Is it any surprise that Seattle is the fastest growing city in the country? According to a 2016 Census estimate, 704,352 people call the Emerald City home. That’s up nearly 100,000 people since the last count in 2010, with some 1,100 people moving to the Seattle metro area every week. While we may gripe about skyrocketing housing prices and expressways turned into parking lots, this population boom isn’t Seattle’s first. From the Gold Rush at the end of the 1800s, to Boeing in the 1950s and ’60s and Microsoft in the ’90s, new residents have arrived in waves. Now the no. 1 reason to move to Seattle often comes in a cardboard box printed with a smile. Where are people coming from? According to a LinkedIn report in June, more workers came to Seattle from San Francisco than anywhere else. That makes sense, trading one tech hub with another. We talked with the Gavhane family from the Bay Area, and several international families lured to Seattle by the tech industry. Other families are here because the dangerous situations they left back home. For the Ramos family from El Salvador, it was the gang violence. For the Musawi and Al Helli family from Iraq, it was the price of working for the U.S. military. Moving here comes at a cost, especially for those arriving from abroad. It means leaving their friends and families, setting up the kids in new schools, navigating a new language and lifestyle. Our newest neighbors are arriving at a time when anti-immigration rhetoric is as loud as ever, and coming directly from the Executive Office. Throughout the 2016 presidential campaign, the candidate who is now our president called for building a wall along the U.S. border with Mexico and ramping up deportations. In January, he tried to ban travel from seven Muslim-majority countries (an executive order the U.S. Supreme Court is, as of publishing, partiality allowing before it considers the U.S. government’s case in October). In this decidedly blue corner of the country, resisting the president is often seen as a badge of honor. But for the recently arrived Seattleites we talked to, their main concerns are centered around daily life, not politics: filling out paperwork, building a new network and helping their kids pick up English. >> • September 2017 • 17


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18 • September 2017 •

8/16/17 5:31 PM


OUR GLOBAL FAMILY continued from page 17

Do you plan to stay?

Jessika: Yes. I love Seattle. It’s very quiet; a safe place to live. I was in Los Angeles for 15 days — I didn’t like it. So much traffic, it was craziness. What has been the biggest challenge in moving to Seattle?

Jessika: I have an open case with [U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services]. I hope to God everything will turn out well and I will be able to bring my other daughter. Then, the three of us can have a stable and secure life together. I’d like to have my own cleaning company one day. First, I have to learn English. I’m going to Highline College to learn. What one parenting practice sets you apart from other families?

THE RAMOS FAMILY From El Salvador Who lives here? Jessika

Parents in El Ramos, 29, and her daughter, Salvador are Valeria Acevedo-Ramos, 2. Jessika left El Salvador after more likely gang members entered her to talk more house with pistols in hand. loudly and Valeria was just 8 months old. directly to Jessika’s 8-year-old daughter, the children. Adriana Acevedo-Ramos, is still in El Salvador with Jessika’s parents. In El Salvador, Jessika studied judicial law in college. Now, she works as a house cleaner. “It doesn’t bother me,” she says. “It’s a job. It’s dignified.”

Where? White Center When did you move here? March 2016

Jessika: I had to leave because of violence. It’s a country the government can’t control. All the power is with the gangs. The laws are not just.

What, if anything, did you know about Seattle before you moved here?

Jessika: Nothing. Only that it’s very peaceful and near family.

Jessika: Parents in El Salvador are more likely to talk more loudly and directly to the children. Now, with Valeria, I’m trying to first talk to her. If she keeps doing something she’s not supposed to, I will use a stronger voice and be more direct. A lot of kids don’t play with toys. It’s all about tablets, screens. I want to make sure Valeria plays with toys and games, and other kids.

THE BATES FAMILY From New Zealand Who lives here? Matt and Jacquie Bates, and

their sons: Caleb, 6, and Conrad, 4. Matt, 38, is a software development manager at Amazon. Jacquie, 36, worked as a purchasing officer before the boys were born and is now a stay-at-home mom. The Bates family moved to Seattle from New Zealand for Matt’s job.

Where? South Lake Union When did you move here?

September 2015 What, if anything, did you know about Seattle before you moved here?

Jacquie: Rain and clouds. Intense evergreen forest. Boeing. The hightech industry. Matt: Liberal. Do you plan to stay?

Jacquie and Matt, in unison: No.

Matt: We haven’t got a date, but we’ll take the kids back to the grandparents. It’s an adventure, not a lifetime decision. Jacquie: We feel like expats, not immigrants. What has been the biggest challenge in moving to Seattle?

Jacquie: Well, I guess it’s just far from home. It just doesn’t have our old friends here. Our family will expend large sums of money to come see us. But our friends have got large mortgages and small children. Matt: Everything in the states is hard. Health care, banking, insurance. Taxes. Crossing the border. All the stresses of being a noncitizen. What one parenting practice sets you apart from other families?

New Zealand [is a] shoesoptional country . . . and we got a lot of flak for it.

Matt: Conrad didn’t wear shoes for nine months before we got him to wear shoes. In New Zealand, it’s a shoesoptional country. They should have shoes, but they don’t have to wear shoes. Jacquie: In Seattle, it was highly inappropriate, and we got a lot of flak for it every day. People who visit New Zealand are quite surprised to see adults walking down the street without shoes. >> • September 2017 • 19


OUR GLOBAL FAMILY continued from page 19

THE MUSAWI AND AL HELLI FAMILY From Iraq Who lives here? Basim Musawi, 43; his

wife, Hawraa Al Helli, 36; and their children: Jannat Musawi, 13; Noor Musawi, 10; and Murtaja Musawi, 7. In Iraq, Basim worked in construction as a contractor for the U.S. military. Now, he works in the vendor return department at Amazon’s Kent warehouse. Hawraa graduated with an associate’s degree from a medical institute in Iraq. Now, she works as an Arabic-English interpreter and child care provider. Murtaja, a rising secondgrader, didn’t speak a word of English when the family arrived, not even “yes” and “no.” Now, he and all of his sisters are fluent.

Where? Kent When did you move here? October 2015

Hawraa: Because my husband worked with the U.S. military, it is really risky. If people know, they will kill him.

What, if anything, did you know about Seattle before you moved here?

Basim and Hawraa learned about Seattle from Hawraa’s brother, who came to the U.S. nine years ago and lived in Tacoma while working for the U.S. military. 20 • September 2017 •

I really like it [here], even if it’s expensive. .

Basim: It is rainy, all the days, all the seasons. The traffic, I-5. The people here, they love the Seahawks. And the opportunity for jobs here: Boeing, Microsoft, Amazon. Do you plan to stay?

Hawraa: I really like it, even if it’s expensive. What has been the biggest challenge in moving to Seattle?

The family currently lives in a two-bedroom apartment. Their rent started at $980 and jumped to $1,300 in May. Basim: The biggest challenge is I need to balance my income with what I spend. There is no change in my situation. That makes me afraid for my future. When they increased the minimum wage, it goes directly to the rent. Hawraa: I need something extra to rent a bigger place. I need the children to stay safe and comfortable. Have you noticed any differences between parenting in Iraq and in the U.S.?

Hawraa: Before I came, I thought American culture was just open. But they are the same. They treat their children like what I do. Exactly. They don’t like children to just go around. They want them to stay supervised.

THE MOGREN FAMILY From Sweden Who lives here? Claes and Justine Mogren,

and their daughters: Ava, 7, and Zea, 6. Justine, 36, was born in the Philippines and moved to Sweden as a teenager. She worked as an ICU nurse until just a few days before the family moved to Seattle. Because of her visa status, she’s now a stay-athome mom. Claes, 38, is a software developer engineer at Amazon. The family stayed in an Airbnb on Capitol Hill for the first month while they got their bearings. They arrived with no phone number, no Social Security numbers, no credit scores, no credit cards and no lease. Eventually, they found a condo for rent through Craigslist — the owner had just visited Stockholm! — and could register their daughters for school. The family doesn’t own a car, and they walk or take the bus everywhere.

We spend more time with the kids, less time working.

Where? Lower Queen

Anne When did you move here? November 2016 What, if anything, did you know about Seattle before you moved here?

Justine: Sleepless in Seattle,

Grey’s Anatomy, The Killing. Claes: The Space Needle. Starbucks. Nirvana, Soundgarden. Microsoft, Amazon. Do you plan to stay?

Justine: For a while. Our plan is to go back to Sweden after a few years. Claes: First, we said three years, but after being here a couple of months, we said maybe five. What has been the biggest challenge in moving to Seattle?

Justine: The language, for the girls, and missing their friends. The language is very important. When it comes to assignments, in the beginning, they did not understand exactly what they needed to do. They got frustrated, but now it is easier. Claes: For Justine and me, the biggest challenge has been all the paperwork for getting a Social Security number, taxes, getting our Washington driver’s licenses and doing any kind of bank transactions.


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What’s different about parenting in Sweden compared to parenting in the U.S.?

Justine: In Sweden, before 13, you don’t get grades, only attendance. The teachers give feedback. People don’t think so much about how good the kids are compared to the rest of the class. They want to know, “Are they making friends?” Claes: We don’t have summer camps in Sweden. The kids can stay in the school for a few weeks after classes have ended, and then the parents take several weeks off in the summer. We spend more time with the kids, less time working. It is much more flexible to spend time with your kids in Sweden. If they are sick, you get paid to stay home with your kids and that takes priority over work. It makes it really easy for both parents to work full-time. >>

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OUR GLOBAL FAMILY continued from page 21

We miss our country. We miss our friends. We cannot meet our parents frequently. Younghee, on the pros of living in Seattle: Fresh air. I think summer is beautiful. There are a lot of parks. Seokhyun: No traffic congestion [compared to Korea]. Speed of living is slower here. In Korea, people move quickly. We can have more space in our life.

In Korea, it is much harder for teenagers to find drugs. I feel Korea is safer place to raise kids.

THE KIM AND CHO FAMILY From South Korea Who lives here? Seokhyun Kim, 39; his wife,

Younghee Cho, 37; and their sons: Robin Kim, 7, and Roy Kim, 5. Seokhyun is a senior software engineer with Coupang, an e-commerce company that aims to be the Amazon of South Korea. Younghee returned to Korea for two months last fall to complete her doctorate in special education. She begins a fellowship at the University of Washington’s Center on Human Development and Disability in September. Where? Queen Anne When did you move here? Seokhyun arrived

in October 2015, and his family joined him the following March. What, if anything, did you know about Seattle before you moved here?

Seokhyun: We had seen a picture of the Space Needle, and we thought, “Beautiful city.” Do you plan to stay?

Seokhyun: Actually, we didn’t decide yet. 50/50. 22 • September 2017 •

What has been the biggest challenge in moving to Seattle?

Seokhyun: Language and culture. We’re educated to be polite and respect others. I think this is kind of Asian culture, not just Korean. In America, especially in company, I should be somewhat aggressive in some sense. So, changing my attitude to fit in here hasn’t been easy. Younghee: I think language is very difficult for us. We studied English for a long time, but speaking …? It is a problem making friends. Seokhyun remembers going to a coffee shop soon after moving to Seattle and ordering a drink. The barista asked him if he wanted “room for cream,” and he was bewildered by the question. A room? Why would he want a room? Seokhyun: One amazing thing is the boys learned English so quickly. In kindergarten, Robin cried three times a day because he didn’t understand the teacher. Now Robin is feeling English is more comfortable than Korean, especially writing. How is parenting in the U.S. different than in Korea?

Seokhyun: In Korea, the no. 1 interest of parents is how to make the kids good students. They make their children study English, mathematics after school. Education is oriented to studying. Younghee: In Seattle, many people play on the playground and take a lot of trips. Seokhyun: In Korea, it is much harder for teenagers to find drugs. I feel Korea is safer place to raise kids and teenagers.

THE GAVHANE FAMILY From San Francisco Who lives here? Amar and Carol Gavhane, and

their children: Ophelia, 4, and Henry, 3 months. Amar, 38, is Indian and Caucasian, and grew up in Ohio. Carol, 40, is Korean and Caucasian and grew up in Southern California. They were living in San Francisco when Ophelia was born, and relocated to Seattle because they wanted a more suburban environment for their young family. Amar is in marketing, and Carol worked in advertising before becoming a stay-at-home mom.

Where? The family rented in Bellevue for a year,

then bought a house in Redmond.

When did you move here? September 2014 What, if anything, did you know about Seattle before you moved here?

Amar: Historic music scene, the sports teams. But other than that, didn’t know a whole lot. Everything I Carol: I knew Seattle was a rapidly growing place, and thought I would a great, green place to raise do, before kids a family.

Do you plan to stay?

Carol: I think so. We've moved a lot; this feels like home. Amar: We really like it here. It's the best blend of good

— only wooden toys, no screen time, only organic food — I do none of.

,cause parenting is a trip!

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people, nature, tech and culture we’ve found. What has been the biggest challenge in moving to Seattle?

Amar: Not knowing anyone. Pulling up roots. Carol: That, and getting used to the gray skies and drizzle. What one parenting practice sets you apart from other families?

Do you plan to stay?

Julia: Three or four years. Tim: Let’s evaluate after that.


What has been the biggest challenge in moving to Seattle?

O’Hare, and their children: Julia, 10; Henry, 8; and Lara, 4. Tim, 42, is a software developer manager for Amazon. Linda, 42, was a corporate strategist in Australia and is staying home with the kids for now.

• Get the latest in parenting news without leaving your house

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Tim: Lots of companies from here: Microsoft, Amazon. Once we got here: Costco, Nordstrom, Boeing, Starbucks.


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It’s good for you! PAGE 22

The opener


WHEN YOU CAN’T GET PREGNANT AGAIN 3 million American women and secondary infertility 43


Science teachers struggle as politics invade the classroom 46



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How to save money, time and get dinner on the table 14

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MARCH 2017

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APRIL 2017 • SSS

Julia: Yeah! They let their kids eat more junk food. Linda: I would agree with that. Where? Bellevue Tim: There’s more pressure here to be elite in sports. When did you move here? Tim Linda: We wanted Henry to start came to Seattle first, in January 2015. The family joined him in February baseball. It was almost like, at 7 years 2016. old, he was too old to start. Tim: I wanted to make sure it was Tim: We love the neighborhoods. All the right place and the the kids on the street right job. We were worried go to the same school. about America in general People have block We were worried because of guns. parties. It’s a real sense about America in of community and What, if anything, general because did you know about belonging we didn’t Seattle before you have in Australia. n of guns.


Who lives here? Tim and Linda

is a good idea


From Australia

Henry: How much it costs! Linda: Long winters. Sorting out schools. Meeting people. Has anyone mentioned “the Seattle freeze”?



home Why

Linda: Just gloomy weather.


Both: “Good enough” is OK. Carol: Everything I thought I would do, before kids — only wooden toys, no screen time, only organic food — I do none of. A part of that is because when reality hits, you’re in survival mode. I just find parenting very challenging. It’s nonstop.

2/21/17 8:38 AM

JiaYing Grygiel is the mama of two boys, 6 and 2, as well as being a freelance photographer and writer. Find her work at • September 2017 • 23





Kari Haas Managing Broker


206.719.2224 karihaaswindermere


Washington State Fair, Sept. 1–24

Downtown to Defiance, Sept. 10


The Sound of Music at the Paramount, Sept. 6–11 Olympia Harbor Days, Sept. 1–3

24 • September 2017 •

Windermere Real Estate Bellevue Commons, Inc

“Let’s Sell Your House and Find Your Home!”




Ellensburg Rodeo and Kittitas County Fair. Saddle up and head over the mountains for exciting rodeo action and frontier fair fun. Rodeo Friday–Sunday, Sept.1–4; fair Thursday–Monday, Aug. 31–Sept. 4. Check online for pricing. Ellensburg.; Bremerton Blackberry Festival. Live music and fantastic kids’ entertainment, fun runs, car show and loads of berries. Saturday–Monday, Sept. 2–4. FREE. Louis Mentor Boardwalk, Bremerton.

Jetty Island Trash Bash and Closing Ceremony. Last chance to visit Everett’s sandy, man-made island this season; help with clean-up and meet Smokey Bear. Noon–4 p.m. $1–$2 donation for ferry. Everett. FREE Swim at Tacoma Pools. Enjoy a Labor Day dip in one of Tacoma’s awesome pools, come early to ensure entry. Noon–5 p.m. FREE. Stewart Heights and Kandle pools, Tacoma.

Pool Playland. It’s the last week for an outdoor splash. Daily, 11 a.m.–noon through Sept. 10. $3.75–$5.50; under 1 free. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Pop Mounger Pool, Seattle. Gridiron Glory: The Best of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Last week to get pumped up for football season at this exhibit packed with memorabilia. Tuesday– Sunday, through Sept. 10. Included with admission. Washington State History Museum, Tacoma.




Live Aloha Hawaiian Cultural Festival. Hawaiian music and dance performances, workshops, local food vendors, keiki activities and more. 11 a.m.–7 p.m. FREE. Seattle Center. Downtown to Defiance. Bring your walking shoes or human-powered wheels, and your family, to travel Tacoma’s waterfront free of cars. 9 a.m.–2 p.m. FREE. Ruston Way, Tacoma.

Free Drop-In Art Studio. Create under the guidance of a teaching artist with a new theme each week. Monday–Thursday, noon–4 p.m. FREE. All ages. Beacon Arts Community Art Space, Seattle. beacon-arts. org ONGOING EVENT Low Sensory Play Time. Special play time featuring a calm environment. Sunday, 9 a.m.–1 p.m.; Monday, Thursday, noon– 2 p.m. $20; preregister. Ages 0–10 with adult. Roo’s World of Discovery, Kirkland. ONGOING EVENT

Live at Lunch. Last few days of live music at various spaces around Bellevue; today it’s the Winterlings at Key Center. Tuesday– Thursday, Sept. 12–14, noon–1:30 p.m. Bellevue. Game Night. Trek to Top Ten Toys with the fam and learn to play fun new games or old favorites. Tuesdays, 6–7 p.m. FREE. All ages. Seattle. ONGOING EVENT




Goodnight Moon. Say goodnight to the kittens, mittens and everything else in this musical adaptation of a favorite bedtime story. Sept. 16–Oct. 8. $6–$12. Ages 5–12 with families; Sunday shows are all ages. SecondStory Repertory, Redmond. Seattle Mini Maker Faire. Crafters, tinkerers and inventors of all ages gather to show and tell. Saturday–Sunday, Sept. 16–17. $9–$22; ages 4 and under free. MoPop, Seattle.

Heaven and Earth Outdoor Art Exhibit. Stroll through this favorite, beachfront park to discover site-specific, temporary art installations. Daily through Oct. 15. FREE. Carkeek Park, Seattle. ONGOING EVENT Shadow Lake Bog Self-guided Walking Tour. Stroll the boardwalk in this fascinating bog preserve for a great tot-length hike. Daily during daylight hours. FREE. Shadow Lake Nature Preserve, Renton. ONGOING EVENT

Detective Cookie’s Urban Chess Club. Drop in to learn and practice chess skills; new members always welcome. Tuesdays, 3–5 p.m. FREE. Ages 7 and up. Seattle Public Library, Rainier Beach Branch. ONGOING EVENT Reading with Rover. Trained therapy dogs listen patiently to kids practicing reading. First and third Tuesdays, 6:30– 7:30 p.m. FREE. Ages 5–10 with adult. Brick & Mortar Books, Redmond. ONGOING EVENT




I Dig Dinos at the Burke. Play paleontologist in the dig pit, create dino-themed crafts and more. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Included with admission. Ages 3–7 with adult. Burke Museum, Seattle. Fremont Oktoberfest All-Ages Day. Beer is the focus, but bring the kids for all-ages fun today including zucchini races, giant slide and root beer tasting. 10:30 a.m.– 6 p.m. $20 and up; kids free with paying adult. Seattle.

Lil’ Diggers Playtime. Favorite giant sandbox re-opens for the season, with digging in the sand for kids and wi-fi for grown-ups. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday; 9:30–11 a.m. or 11:30 a.m.–1 p.m. $8. Ages 5 and under with adult. Sandbox Sports, Seattle. ONGOING EVENT Visit the Animals Kelsey Creek Farm. See pigs, ponies, sheep, chickens, rabbits and goats, go to the playground or wander the trails. Daily 9:30 a.m.–3:30 p.m. FREE. Bellevue. ONGOING EVENT

Woodland Garden Tour. Wander around and spot remarkable Japanese maples in this lovely area of the Washington Park Arboretum. FREE. Seattle. ONGOING EVENT Indoor Playground. Tots play with push buggies, climbers, trikes and more. Tuesday, Thursday; 10 a.m.–1 p.m. $3. Ages 9 months–5 years with caregiver. North Kirkland Community Center. ONGOING EVENT

Live Aloha at Seattle Center, Sept. 10




THURSDAY Frog Frolic at Shadow Lake, Sept. 9

Loads more family fun activities at calendar





The Evergreen State Fair. Last few days to experience this great state fair complete with carnival, competitive livestock exhibits and more. Daily through Sept. 4. $8–$12; ages 5 and under free; specials available; carnival rides extra. Monroe. Aquarium Activities in the Park. Head downtown for free kids’ activities put on by the Seattle Aquarium. 10 a.m.–noon. FREE. Westlake Park, Seattle.

Washington State Fair. Carnival rides, fair treats, animal exhibits and more. Sept. 1–24 (closed Tuesdays and Sept. 6). $9–$14; ages 5 and under free; shows and rides extra. Washington State Fair Events Center, Puyallup. Olympia Harbor Days. Tugboats are the stars at this maritime fest with tours and races, kids’ activities and more. Friday– Sunday, Sept. 1–3. FREE. Percival Landing, Olympia.





Free Admission at Renton History Museum. Learn about the earliest inhabitants of the Renton area and more at this museum housed in an art deco firehouse. FREE today. 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Renton. The Sound of Music. Share all your favorite things about the beloved musical with your kids watching this national touring production. Sept. 6–11. $30 and up. Ages 7 and up. The Paramount Theatre, Seattle.

First Thursday at Lake Union Park. Build a toy boat (3–5 p.m.), climb aboard any marked boat (noon–5 p.m.) and explore MOHAI (10 a.m.–8 p.m.). FREE; boatbuilding by donation. Seattle. Late Play Date. Hurry up and finish homework, then head to the museum for fall season crafts, activities and fun. 6–8 p.m. FREE. Ages 3–12 with families. White River Valley Museum, Auburn.

Green Lake Bat Walk. Learn all about bats as you search for them in the twilight sky. 6:30–8:30 p.m. FREE. Bathhouse Theater at Green Lake, Seattle. San Gennaro Festival. Celebrate all things Italian with live music, cooking demos, kids’ activities and more. Friday–Sunday, Sept. 8–10. FREE; food for purchase. Georgetown neighborhood, Seattle.

Frog Frolic. Explore this fascinating bog preserve and enjoy live music, food truck fare and kids’ activities. 1–5 p.m. Donations appreciated. Shadow Lake Nature Preserve, Renton. Night Market and Autumn Moon Festival. Stroll the streets, partake in international food offerings and enjoy music and breakdance performances. 4 p.m.–midnight. FREE; food for purchase. Chinatown/ International District, Seattle.





Pollinator Patio. Learn about attracting native pollinators such as hummingbirds, bees and beetles to your own backyard. Daily. Included with admission. Woodland Park Zoo, Seattle. Critter Club. Kids’ program features stories, hands-on exploration and an animal surprise. Sept. 14, 15, 28 and 29; 11 a.m. $10–$15; preregister. Ages 3–5 with caregiver. Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, Tacoma.

The Great Wallingford Wurst Festival. Enjoy games, crafts, tasty brats, live music and beer at this popular end-of-summer festival. Friday–Saturday, Sept. 15–16. FREE; food for purchase. St. Benedict School, Seattle. Puget Sound Bird Fest. It’s bird-mania with many guided bird walks, kids’ crafts and interpretive activities. Friday–Sunday, Sept. 15–17. Some activities free; others with fee. Various venues, Edmonds.

South Park Parade & Community Festival and Fiestas Patrias. Celebrate the diverse cultures of Latin America in the South Park neighborhood (Saturday) and at Seattle Center (Saturday–Sunday). with a parade, food, music, kids’ activities and more. Sept. 16–17. FREE. Seattle. Pioneer Days Festival. Get a taste of early settler life with crafts, storytelling, panning for gold and more. Noon–4 p.m. FREE. Job Carr Cabin Museum, Tacoma.




Self-Guided Hatchery Tour. Grab the brochure and check out the hatchery and spawning salmon in Issaquah Creek. Daily 8 a.m.–4:30 p.m. $2 suggested donation. Issaquah Salmon Hatchery. ONGOING EVENT Family Movie Day. Head to Belltown Community Center for movie time in the morning along with the requisite popcorn; call ahead for title. 10 a.m. FREE. Seattle.

Themed Skate Night. Family-friendly skate night; dress up for tonight’s theme: kicking it to the oldies. Skates available to borrow. 5:45–7:45 p.m. $3/skater. All ages. Alki Community Center, Seattle. Night Hike. Join a park ranger to learn all about the woods after dark; bring your flashlight. 8–9:30 p.m. $5; preregister. Ages 5 and up. Lewis Creek Park, Bellevue.

Fishermen’s Fall Festival. Catch a trout, build a toy boat, watch the awesome survival suit races, enjoy live music and more. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. FREE. Fishermen’s Terminal, Seattle. Museum Day Live. Preregister for free tickets to 24 participating museums in western Washington. FREE.





Storybook Corner. Cozy up for story time and nurture a love of books in the little ones. Wednesdays, 10:30–11 a.m. FREE. Ages 1–5 with adult. Island Books, Mercer Island. ONGOING EVENT Experience Science Story Time. Science demos and stories connect in today’s book selection, Count Down to Fall. 11:30 a.m. and 2:30 p.m. Included with admission. Ages 1–12 with adult. Imagine Children’s Museum, Everett.

Tugboat Story Time. Get your sea legs on and board a tugboat for stories and fun. Second and fourth Thursdays of the month, 11 a.m.–noon. FREE; donations welcome. Ages 1–8 with caregiver. Center for Wooden Boats, Seattle. ONGOING EVENT Tacoma Resident Free Day. City of Tacoma dwellers enjoy free admission to the zoo and aquarium today. Sept. 20 and 28. FREE for Tacoma residents with proper I.D. Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, Tacoma.

Bees: Tales from the Hive. Learn all about the fate of honeybees and how to help them thrive. 5–6 p.m. FREE; RSVP requested. All ages. Mercer Slough Environmental Education Center, Bellevue. The Cat in the Hat. Dr. Suess’s favorite madcap character brings his antics to life on the stage. Sept. 29–Oct. 22. $13–$19. All ages. Olympia Family Theater.

Free Entrance to National Parks. Visit Mount Rainier, Olympic National Park or North Cascades National Park in honor of National Public Lands Day. FREE. Apple Festival. Celebrate our state’s finest fruit with farm activities and fresh apples and pears to take home. Saturdays– Sundays, Sept. 30–Oct. 29. FREE entry; items for purchase. Lattin’s Country Cider Mill & Farm, Olympia. ONGOING EVENT

Student Wednesday at BAM. Students welcomed to view museum collections for free every second Wednesday of the month. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. FREE for grades K–12 with online coupon. Bellevue Arts Museum. Back to School BBQ. Join your neighbors and celebrate back to school with fun kids’ activities, crafts and food; two locations to choose from. 3–6 p.m. FREE. Miller and Montlake Community Centers, Seattle.

20 Sammamish Farmers Market. Last day! Stop by for live music from the Rovin’ Fiddlers (6–7:30 p.m.), a kids’ activity and the late summer produce bounty. 4–8 p.m. Sammamish City Hall. Bat Trek. Presentation and a guided sunset walk to see and learn all about our flying, furry friends. 7:30–9 p.m. $5; preregister. Ages 8 and up with adult. Seward Park Audubon Center, Seattle. • September 2017 • 25

out + about

Disney’s Aladdin PHOTO: DEEN VAN MEER

Fallin’ for the


Plan your season with our selection of shows, exhibits and more BY GEMMA ALEXANDER

26 • September 2017 •

Childhood Anxiety and



A Whole Family Approach


SEPT 29- OCT 22, 2017

OCT 19


Dr. Seuss’

See pg 45 everychild

ids are back in school, and schedules are hectic with sports0917_every child_1-16.indd





8/18/17 1:27 PM

and homework. But odds are, there’s no art in that stack of school assignments. Even when schools offer art classes,

experiencing the arts as a family adds a whole new dimension to an important, if often overlooked, element of education. Expand your family’s horizons this season with our list of fall arts events near and far. (Of course, this just scratches the surface of the many fabulous offerings this fall, but we hope it’s somewhere to start!) Note: Shows are organized by start date. Some have lengthy runs

while others take place on one day only.

September The Who & the What ArtsWest, Seattle Sept. 7–Oct. 1

In this play by Pulitzer Prize winner Ayad Akhtar, a brilliant PakistaniAmerican writer’s conservative family discovers her controversial manuscript about women in Islam, forcing everyone to confront the conflicts and contradictions that define their identities. $17–$38. Ages 14 and older.

Living Voices

Museum of History & Industry, Seattle Sept. 16 and 23, 2 and 3 p.m.

Living Voices uses a unique combination of video and live performance to allow audiences to discover history’s relevance to their lives. On Sept. 16, performers present “Island of Hope,” a story about a young immigrant held back on Ellis Island; on Sept. 23, “The New American” follows a young girl on her journey from the family farm in Ireland to citizenship in the U.S. Included with museum admission of $13.95–$19.95; ages 14 and younger free. >> • September 2017 • 27

Save Your Sanity “Keen insight into the inner world of children.” —Marsha Linehan, Ph.D.

Getting to


Cool-Headed Strategies for Raising Happy, Caring, and Independent Three- to Seven-Year-Olds

Laura S. Kastner, Ph.D. “Kastner masterfully guides parents through the complex maze of parenting.” —Yaffa Maritz, director, Community of Mindful Parenting

,cause parenting is a trip!

0917_GTC_books_1-4.indd 1

Enrolling now for Fall Session!

Join us for SANCA Fest, October 15th! 5#0%#KUC E  PQPRTQƒV


8/16/17 5:56 PM

GROUP TOURS Experience the spirit and the history of the Tulalip Tribes!

Hibulb Cultural Center 6410 23rd Ave NE Tulalip, WA 98271 Located less than a mile west of I-5 exit 199.

28 • September 2017 •

The Hibulb Cultural Center has space available for rentals and special events. Whether you are planning a public meeting, family reunion, birthday, anniversary, wedding or some other group activity we have the space for you! Please contact our Tour Coordinator to plan your event at 360.716.2657 or by email at

out + about

Fallin’ for the Arts continued from page 27

Footloose the Musical

I Never Saw Another Butterfly

Tacoma Musical Playhouse, Tacoma Sept. 22–Oct. 15

Studio East Training for the Performing Arts, Kirkland Oct. 13–29

Go, Dog. Go!

Seattle Children’s Theatre, Seattle Sept. 28–Nov. 26


If your kids are fans of Guardians of the Galaxy, as mine are, they probably share Gamora’s curiosity about the ancient Earth legend called . . . Footloose, in which “a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that dancing is the greatest thing there is.” Satisfy their curiosity with this Oscar- and Tony-nominated musical at TMP. $22–$31. Ages 6 and older. Go, Dog. Go!

Red Kite, Brown Box

Despite its simplicity, even parents can look forward to seeing P.D. Eastman’s Go, Dog. Go! on stage. This high-energy production introduces children ages 3 and older to the world of theater through color, sounds and heightened physicality. $22–$39. Ages 3 and older.

Disney’s Aladdin

Paramount Theatre, Seattle Oct. 12–29

This Broadway musical features all your favorite songs from the Disney film as well as new music for the stage by Alan Menken (Newsies) and Howard Ashman (Beauty and the Beast). Keep an eye out for actor Don Darryl Rivera, a hometown performer and Cornish grad who originated the role of Iago at Seattle’s 5th Avenue Theatre. $29 and up. $37–$82. Ages 7 and older.

Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat Olympia Family Theatre, Olympia Sept. 29–Oct. 22

Children of all ages will delight in this faithful adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ classic picture book filled with mischievous humor and madcap style. Just hope that your living room isn’t the scene of rainy-day reenactments. $13–$19. All ages.

Edmonds Center for the Arts, Edmonds Oct. 14, multiple show times

This unique multisensory experience welcomes youth on the autism spectrum into a world of wonder and innovation. Participants explore the world of Papa Nick in a space filled with cardboard boxes and simple props. This event is for children on the spectrum of all ages. Maximum 12 children (plus family) per performance; call box office to book. $10. All ages.

The Haunted Theatre

Tacoma City Ballet at Merlino Art Center, Tacoma Oct. 20–29

Costumes are encouraged at this classically spooky, glow-in-the-dark Halloween tradition. Ballet is anything but precious as dancing skeletons entertain the whole family in a kid-friendly, hourlong show. $10. All ages.

October Bandaloop

Meany Center for the Performing Arts, Seattle Oct. 5–7

One-Man Star Wars Trilogy

Northshore Performing Arts Center, Bothell Oct. 21, 2 and 7:30 p.m.


Gravity-defying aerial dance group Bandaloop weaves dynamic physicality, intricate choreography and the art of climbing to turn the dance floor on its side. Meany Hall does not seat children younger than age 5, and the show time is 8 p.m., but older kids will love this performance, which some call death-defying but others call life-affirming. $35–$52. Ages 8 and older.

Teaching theater Studio East challenges its cast of 8- to 19-yearold actors with this World War II story about children in the Terezin concentration camp. Centered around Raja, one of only about 100 children who survived Terezin (out of 15,000), and her family and friends, the play presents poems written by the children of Terezin set to music. $17–$19. Ages 9 and older.


Charles Ross single-handedly plays every Star Wars character and condenses the plots of the three original films into one hilarious 90-minute production, officially endorsed by Lucasfilm. Kids may never roll their eyes at their parents’ quoting along with the movie again. $20–$30. Ages 6 and older. >> • September 2017 • 29


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out + about

Fallin’ for the Arts continued from page 29

SecondStory Repertory Theater for Young Audiences, Redmond Oct. 21–Nov. 12

Anne of Green Gables

SecondStory Repertory, Redmond Oct. 27–Nov. 19


Anne of Green Gables is a childhood favorite passed down through generations. SecondStory presents the musical adaptation of L.M. Montgomery’s timeless classic, in which Anne Shirley’s endearing penchant for getting into scrapes will melt the hearts of audience members young and old. $24–$29. Ages 6 and older.

One-Man Star Wars Trilogy

Tacoma Musical Playhouse Family Theater, Tacoma Oct. 28–Nov. 5

Based on Mark Twain’s famous novel set on the banks of the Mississippi River in 1840, this exuberant musical includes many of the novel’s most famous scenes. A reduced cast and running time, compared to the original Broadway play, earn it a G rating. $12–$15. Ages 4 and older.


SecondStory premieres an original production by Kate Swenson titled The Fluffy Tale of Adventure, with music by John Allman. In Fluffy, a curious kid, a sheep and a squirrelwolf hybrid find confidence in their new friendship. Using their unusual talents, they save the day, learning lessons about prejudice and tradition along the way. $6–$12. Ages 5 and older (Sunday shows are all ages).

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer: Theater for Young Audiences

The Tortoise and the Hare

StoryBook Theater, multiple venues Oct. 29–Nov. 26

Only the youngest viewers will be surprised by the ending to this familiar story, but everyone could use an occasional reminder that being yourself and trying your hardest is good enough. Enjoy this show at venues in Renton, Kirkland, Everett, Shoreline and Seattle. $15. Ages 3 and older. >>


The Fluffy Tale of Adventure

Disney’s Newsies

The Haunted Theatre • September 2017 • 31

out + about

Fallin’ for the Arts continued from page 31

Cirque-tacular’s Snowkus Pocus


Art has always been an outlet for the oppressed, and a way for us to understand each other’s views of the world. A handful of museum exhibits this fall showcase the art of immigrants and members of other communities that often suffer erasure. Choose an exhibit and start exploring.

Casino: A Palimpsest

Frye Art Museum, Seattle • Through Oct. 29 The first solo museum exhibition of Seattle-based artist Storme Webber explores the confluence of First Nations and LGBTQ cultures, valorizing the submerged stories of marginalized peoples through a history of one of the oldest gay bars on the West Coast, the Casino in Pioneer Square. Free admission.

Tacoma Art Museum • Through Feb. 18, 2018 Local artist Zhi Lin uses his paintings, mixed-media constructions, and installations combining painting, video projection and sound to shine a light on the vital history of Chinese laborers in 19th-century America.

Searching for Home

32 • September 2017 •

Alice in Wonderland Cut Up/Cut Out and Itinerant Edens

Bellevue Arts Museum, Bellevue • Through Oct. 22 and Oct. 20–Feb. 11 This exhibit explores decorative piercing and cutting, an art form originated by Chinese women in the sixth century. Kids are sure to want to try this at home. Overlapping slightly with this exhibit is Walter McConnell: Itinerant Edens, which places life-size clay humans inside terrariums.

No. Not Ever. and Changing Forms

Henry Art Gallery, Seattle • Through Oct. 1 Two current exhibits at the Henry Art Gallery use video for completely different purposes. No. Not Ever. is an audiovisual archive of interviews with Pacific Northwest activists who worked to stop white nationalism in their rural communities during the 1980s and 1990s. Changing Forms presents a comprehensive retrospective of the career of local artist Doris Totten Chase. Chase’s abstract and anti-narrative videos explore artistic agency, collaboration and feminist issues; kids will also enjoy the geometric shapes and bright colors.



Bellevue Arts Museum • Sept. 22–March 25, 2018 Pakistani artist Humaira Abid’s first solo museum exhibition in the United States features personal narratives, stories and portraits of refugees in the Pacific Northwest with bold, symbolic wood sculptures and miniature paintings that explore themes of immigration, women and families.

November t

In Search of the Lost History of Chinese Migrants and the Transcontinental Railroads


6 exhibits to note

Promoting the West

Tacoma Art Museum, Tacoma • Through Oct. 15 Tacoma artist Abby Williams Hill was one of only a few female artists hired by the railroads. She traveled with her four children in tow, and was paid in train tickets rather than cash. (To spark family discussions, visit the concurrent Zhi Lin exhibit for a very different perspective on the railroads.)

Lakewood Playhouse, Lakewood Nov. 2–12

Join Alice in her curious adventures down the rabbit hole in Lakewood Playhouse’s annual Spotlight production, a show intended for all ages and performed by actors of all ages. Don’t be late — this adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s classic nonsense story has only nine performances. $15. All ages.

Disney’s Newsies

Village Theatre, Issaquah Nov. 9–Dec. 31

Based on the cult Disney musical about the real-life newsboy strike of 1899, newspaper sellers make the headlines in this Tony Award–winning and Grammynominated musical. Expect a high-energy explosion of song, dance and theatricality from child performers. North Sound audiences will have their chance to see Newsies Jan. 5–28 at Village Theatre in Everett. $37–$82.







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ages + stages


Why I’m teaching my kids Chinese — and the price we pay By JiaYing Grygiel

y 6-year-old son’s class is a mini United Nations; his classmates go to Saturday Chinese school, Russian school, German school and Sunday Swedish school. But my kids don’t, because every minute with Mama is an immersive education in Chinese. I didn’t set out to raise my son to be bilingual; when I had him, I barely spoke Chinese. My family moved to the U.S. from Taiwan when I was 4; I grew up in upstate New York, where I flunked out of the Friday-night Chinese classes my mom forced me to attend. Then, 11 years ago, I moved to Seattle for a job and discovered that here, Chinese is everywhere. You hear it spoken all the time; it’s printed on signs in the Chinatown–International District; it’s even taught in Seattle public schools. In Seattle, Chinese class isn’t just for resentful Chinese kids; it’s for every parent who is trying to give their kid an edge. If you want to pick a second language, Chinese isn’t a bad choice. It’s the most spoken language in the world, with Mandarin being its most common form. (Spanish is a distant second for most spoken language, followed by English in third place.) Nearly 1.3 billion people speak Chinese, which is something like one out of every six people in the world. Especially for those of us who live on the Pacific Rim, speaking Chinese can be a useful skill when your child grows up and goes into business, leadership, diplomacy . . . a mom can dream, right? For me, teaching my son my native but mostly forgotten language came down to a matter of money. I’m not musical and I’m not athletic, so the one skill I could give my baby for free is a second language. So, we learned together. He didn’t judge me as I slowly sounded out the words; he only cared that it was his mother’s voice. We learned new vocabulary words, per his interests: “street sweeper,” “cherry picker,” “snow plow.” And over these past few years, he and I have become fluent speakers. And while no one’s given us grief when we’ve spoken Chinese in public, Queen Anne mom Allison Riccardi does get some curious looks. Riccardi is an Italian-American transplant from



Keep This in Mind When Raising Bilingual Kids

Michigan who speaks flawless When one parent Chinese. Her husband is from speaks Chinese China, and Riccardi wanted and the other their kids — 6, 4 doesn’t, your and 1 — to learn Chinese so they home life can feel can connect with their family like living in a and culture. foreign country. At home, her children listen to Chinese kids’ music, watch Chinese cartoons and read Chinese books. “Some people are worried that our kids won’t learn English because when they started preschool, they had a very limited proficiency,” Riccardi says. “I have been more concerned about their Chinese! English is everywhere, and they will inevitably pick it up. “We work hard to keep their interest in

Chinese,” she continues. “We did everything possible to immerse them. So far, the results have been good.” All the research studies tout the benefits of being bilingual. It’s good for baby’s brain development! It will help a child do better in school! It will teach empathy! This might all be good and true, but you should also know the pitfalls to a bilingual household.

It can divide your marriage Chinese is a tonal language, which can be hard for adults to pick up. Even after six years of immersion learning, my husband can’t identify high-frequency kid words like “snack,” “bus” or “sleep.” When one parent speaks Chinese and the other doesn’t, your home life can feel like living in a foreign country. My children and I talk, argue, joke — and my husband has no idea what is going on. Riccardi and her husband both speak Chinese, but her parents don’t. When her daughter was 2, she hit her grandmother and said in Chinese, “I don’t like Nonna because she doesn’t speak Chinese.” continued on page 40 • September 2017 • 37

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38 • September 2017 • 0917_seattle_academy_1-2h.indd 1

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S C H O O L S Books to Beat the Back-to-School Blues Most kids will experience separation anxiety at some point in their life. Many kids will have no problem facing their fears and moving forward, while others may get stuck and experience significant difficulties separating from their parents. Separation anxiety is most often seen at school drop-off time for preschoolers or when parents go to work and leave the child at daycare or with a sitter or a nanny. This fear of Mom or Dad leaving can produce some pretty dramatic emotions in little ones and often, crying and asking about when parents will return persists until some level of intervention is in place. To help, try reading. This list of books address separation in a way your child will understand and enjoy. And who knows? Maybe you’ll pick up a tip or two, too. Get reading at parentmap. com/schoolbooks. — Sara Lindberg


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ages + stages




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AGES 0–5 Raising Bilingual Kids continued from page 37

Other people assume your kid is a social recluse A mom friend, whom I’ve known since our kids were babies, recently mentioned that she’s only ever heard my 6-year-old say maybe one sentence. He’s kind of introverted to start with, and compounding that problem is his conviction that when he’s with Mama, our world is Chinese. No matter who talks to him, my kid will not respond in English and he won’t play with kids who don’t speak Chinese. He has great language skills — at the cost of friendship skills.

Sooner or later, they will turn on you anyway

Saturday 9.16.17 917_down_syndrome_community_1-4.indd 1 Tacoma Convention Center


So, congratulations, you did a great job teaching your child a second 11:13 AM language. In our mostly monolingual world, good luck getting that second language to stick. West Seattle mom Amanda Hsieh grew up in Taiwan and met her American husband there. She taught her daughter, Evelynn, Chinese so that Evelynn could talk to the Taiwanese side of her family. When Evelynn was 4 and her mom told her to talk in Chinese, she pointed out, “But Mommy, you speak English, too!”

Now Evelynn is 5 and in school, and she’s switched to mostly English. Hsieh already hears an “ABC” (American-born Chinese) accent in her daughter’s voice. Even when they hang out with Taiwanese friends, the kids speak English together. “The foundation is still there,” Hsieh says, “but if you don’t practice, you don’t talk every day, you will lose it.” As for my family, Chinese has been our daily MO for my 6-yearold’s entire life. I’m in too deep to drop the second language, which is why, together, my son and I are teaching the language to his 2-yearold brother. He’s learning new words every day, and already knows that each object has two words. Someone says “crow,” and he’ll run over with “wu ya!” Or he’ll hear “flower,” and he’ll chime in with “hua!” He’s picking up English, too. Recently, my toddler added a new word to his lexicon that any parent who’s survived the terrible twos will universally recognize: “Nooooo!” n JiaYing Grygiel is the mama of two boys, 6 and 2, and freelance photographer and writer. Find her work at

getting a second language to stick LEARN WITH YOUR KID. It’s not enough to just hear a language once a week in a classroom. Even if you’re unsure of yourself, try speaking the language at home, too. SHOW THEM HOW IT’S USEFUL. Kids need opportunities to use their

skills. Even if it’s ordering food and saying “xie xie” (thank you), it counts.

40 • September 2017 •

FIND YOUR COMMUNITY. Your kid will need friends who speak the same language, and you’ll need the support of other parents.




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ages + stages


5 Kids’ Books About the Refugee Crisis Let these stories guide you during not-so-easy conversations By Leah Abraham


he word “refugees” dominates headlines and articles, but where do you even begin when talking to your kids about the plight of 65.6 million people forcibly displaced from their homes? These books can help. Here is a collection of real-life and fictional tales of children who had to leave their homes and struggled to find safety. These stories and illustrations can help kids get a glimpse of what life as a refugee is like, start a dialogue about the current state of refugees worldwide and better empathize with an experience that we hope they’ll never have to live through themselves.

Stormy Seas: Stories of Young Boat Refugees By Mary Beth Leatherdale and Eleanor Shakespeare

Travel the world from World War II Germany to war-torn Vietnam to Taliban-terrorized Afghanistan. These five true stories are about kids who had to flee from their home countries on boats, risk their lives to escape danger and seek asylum in foreign lands. Author Mary Beth Leatherdale and illustrator Eleanor Shakespeare pair personal stories with facts and figures; each story is accompanied with collage-like illustrations, as well as time lines and historical context of the corresponding war. The book ends with a time line and a list of resources and organizations that help refugees.

A Long Walk to Water

Where Will I Live?

The Journey

The Red Pencil

By Linda Sue Park

By Rosemary McCarney

By Francesca Sanna

By Andrea Davis Pinkney

This award-winning chapter book is based on a true story and chronicles the experiences of 11-yearold Salva in 1985 and of 11-year-old Nya in 2008. Salva is the oldest son of a well-off family in Sudan. His life is turned upside-down during the Second Sudanese Civil War (1983–2005), when he becomes one of the “lost boys of Sudan,” more than 20,000 boys displaced during the war. After years of hardship, Salva eventually immigrates to the United States. There he helps found the nonprofit Water for South Sudan. While visiting Sudan for work, Salva meets 11-yearold Nya. Salva helps build wells for her village, freeing her to attend school. Learn about both their stories in this moving book.

This book is a photo essay that depicts what displaced people and refugees from around the world look like. The photos from the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees specifically focus on kids who have fled from their homes and now live in refugee camps; who are traveling to safety on boats, trucks and foot; who are searching for food and water; and who sleep on streets and live in other difficult situations. You will see the fear and desolation kids face when they are displaced, as well as their resilience. There are also photos of kids playing, finding new friends and, well, just being kids.

Told from the perspective of a young child and with striking illustrations, this book by Francesca Sanna shares the narrative of a family who must flee for their lives from an unnamed country. Topics covered include the difficulty of leaving all of their worldly possessions behind, trying to cross borders and walls, sleeping in the forest to avoid guards and traveling to safety by any means necessary. According to Sanna, the story was inspired by two refugee girls she met in Italy. Struck by their tales, Sanna began interviewing other immigrants and refugees. Writing and illustrating this book was meant to highlight their personal journeys, although the story itself is fictional.

Amira is 12 years old when her father explains the history of the war that is raging in her home of Sudan. Soon, a militia group terrorizes her village, and she has to escape to a refugee camp. At the camp, Amira’s thirst for life fades and her hope diminishes, until someone gives her a yellow pad and a red pencil. The reader follows along as Amira uses these tools to express herself. This book, written in poetic verse, may be difficult for younger readers, but it beautifully captures difficult topics to discuss. n Leah Abraham is a reporter at a Seattle-area community newspaper. She is obsessed with the great indoors, Korean food, conversations over coffee and her dorky immigrant family. • September 2017 • 43

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Let’s face it, when you’re a kid, there’s always something to laugh at, whether appropriate or not.

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We offer on the University of Washington Seattle cam

We offer on the University of Washington Seattle campus: • Transition School • UW Academy • Saturday Enrich Programs • Professional Developmen Transition School • UW Academy••Summer Saturday Enrichment For more Summer Programs • Professional Development

What was your favorite part of the day? When I ask my own kids this question, their answers often surprise me. More often than not, their favorite part of the day was something small, yet they found it meaningful.

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Childhood Anxiety

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someone you should know

See an expanded interview and meet more heroes: /sysk

Angela Rose Black, Ph.D.

One woman’s mission to rethink what mindfulness means By Nancy Schatz Alton


46 • September 2017 •

Why did you create Mindfulness for the People?

Mindfulness for the People came from feeling the impact of the omission of People Of Color in the spaces and places where mindfulness is practiced, researched and taught. So, along the lines of “nothing about us, without us, is for us,” it was critical that my Black body and mind needed to be at the forefront of the voices that were leading the conversation on mindfulness research, teaching and practice. I’ve learned that making room for the insights of People Of Color hinges on disrupting the systemic Whiteness directing the movement. Re-imagining a mindfulness movement that actually meets the needs of our racialized world IS a radical act because in doing so, we are collectively saying that although our oppressions may be connected, the way in which we arrive at suffering can look very different. We no longer have to be blissed out by the universality that unites us — our family stress, work stress, relational stress — because we have the right to feel distinct differences in our life experiences as a function of our racial identities. So, if we cannot live un-racialized lives in a racialized world, when, then, will the mindfulness movement respond in kind? n DUKE VIRGINIA

was looking for a seat at a local conference about meditation when I saw it: “‘In a racially unjust world, what good is mindfulness?” read the t-shirt. The quote was from civil rights activist and author Angela Davis, in conversation with mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn. Intrigued by the shirt, I soon learned that the woman wearing it had given a presentation at the conference. Her name: Angela Rose Black. Black, who has a Ph.D., recently left a 15-year academic career in which she researched health and stress in the lives of black women. She is now the founder and CEO of a Wisconsin-based organization called Mindfulness for the People ( Black describes Mindfulness for the People as a “for-profit, Black-owned social impact entity that is radically re-imagining the mindfulness movement.” Judging from the reaction she got at the conference we both attended, Black is well on her way to just that kind of radical reimagining. It was during her own search for mindfulness practices that Black, who is African-American, says she realized how inaccessible mindfulness practices can be for people of color. The question, she says, is “Who gets to be well?” “Showing up in this body, asking the question, ‘Who gets to be well?’ became a way to disrupt the universal bliss and current narrative of the mindfulness movement,” says Black, who often uses the hashtag #WhoGets2BeWell when attending mindfulness conferences, retreats and teacher trainings. The current narrative about mindfulness “asserts ‘universal’ access for all without ever having to ask access for whom, based on what or for how long,” says Black. A crop of recent studies in Mindfulness, the Journal of Holistic Nursing and by Northwestern University have sought to

address this dearth of research available on diversity and mindfulness. In her own experience with mindfulness, Black says she’s felt “alternately unwelcomed and curiously hyperfocused on, unseen yet aggressively overdirected by White practitioners and teachers.” “So, while trying to ‘pay attention with intention’ to my breath, I felt like my presence — my very embodiment of Blackness — was both triggering and intoxicating for the White folks there,” she adds. Enter Mindfulness for the People, an organization born from Black’s desire to center the voices and wisdom of people of color in mindfulness research, teaching and practice. To do this, Mindfulness for the People offers trainings, presentations and consultations for businesses. ParentMap recently talked with Black about her work and what families of all backgrounds can learn from it.

When freelancer Nancy Schatz Alton isn’t meeting deadlines or teaching writing, she writes poetry and essays, and works on her memoir about her daughter’s learning journey. EDITOR’S NOTE Join ParentMap on a yearlong conversation to explore how families and schools can nurture empathy, mindfulness and kindness.



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