Page 1


parenting is a trip!


‘Angst’ SEE PAGE 35

A fresh new Pike Place Market offers endless adventures What to do when tantrums, sibling showdowns and side-eye strike 27


Young and old forge friendships at this unexpected day program 20


The local podcast you should be listening to about fatherhood 34

JUNE 2017



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5/8/17 12:27 PM 5/10/17 9:01 PM

5/4/17 12:52 PM

inside JUNE 2017

To market, to Pike Place Market

The 110-year-old ‘city within a city’ has something for everyone — from toddlers to teens PAGE 9


Friendship knows no age Life at The Mount in West Seattle


Easy bedtime doesn’t have to be a dream; DIY gifts for Dad; con-GRAD-ulations; can you be too empathetic as a parent? 5 ways to get them to play nice


When your kid acts out in public It happens — what to do Jama’l Chukueke Diversity Dad has big plans for fatherhood


A pig, a credit card, a priceless memory

Out + About








June is a good month to . . .




IKE PLACE MARKET P 9 To Market, to Pike Place Market 13  Fresh tips 14  Miss Piggy 15  There grows the Market 17  Pike Place Market by the numbers 17  Market speak

Advertising Sections

5 B  irthdays 22–25 S chools + Preschools 26–33 C  amps + Activities

27 • June 2017 • 3

play list

navigate great stuff daily!

Easy bedtime doesn’t have to be a dream TAIS KULISH

Send your little sleepers off to

Dreamland with these bedtime routines that encourage mindfulness. Bonus: Get recommendations on what sessions to use from the app Mind Yeti (we’ve heard good things).


is a great month to . . .




DIY gifts for Dad


Milk mustache? Super cake

pop? These Father’s Day gifts

Get your Ph.D. in party planning

are as adorable as they are easy

thanks to these very cool

to make. Get the kids going on

graduation party ideas. We

these do-it-yourself presents

particularly love the giant photo

that’ll be sure to make Pop

wall. What a perfect way to

smile this June 18. parentmap.

(sweetly) embrace your graduate!


Study up at

5 ways to get them to play nice Keep the peace with these ideas that help with sibling there: Tell older kids how much the younger ones look up to them. Works every time.

Can you be too empathetic as a parent? Loaded question, right? One

mother shares advice on how to be there for your kids without letting their emotional ups and downs derail your world. “Empathy is a beautiful thing . . . but there’s a downside to spending too much time feeling the pain our kids feel.” -parent

4 • June 2017 •


2 LAST-MINUTE CAMPING l Speaking of camping, if you don’t have

reservations yet, no problem. Find our no-reservations camping guide at; and a list of 21 great nearby campgrounds that often have openings at parentmap. com/last-minute-camping. 3 B  IKE THROUGH A TUNNEL l

squabbles. One piece of sage advice from a mom who’s been

Want camping company? A new group campout called Family Forest Fest includes entertainment, activities and even massages and child care.

On the next super-hot day, find cool adventure by biking through an old railroad tunnel that’s now part of Iron Horse State Park trail, near I-90. Bring your headlamp and Discover Pass! 4 REV YOUR ENGINES l

From cruise-ins to antique car shows to touch-a-truck events, summer is heaven for car-crazy families. 5 A SUMMER FERRY TALE l

Here’s an easy day-trip solution: the Northern Kitsap Peninsula. Charming towns such as Indianola, Poulsbo and Port Gamble are home to sites including the oldest Puget Sound lighthouse, a submarine museum and the sacred gravesite of Chief Seattle. parentmap. com/kitsap











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— Create a birthday banner by using black paper instead of neon, then paint the greeting in glow-inthe-dark paint. When the lights go out, the painted letters will glow and appear to be hanging in mid-air as the black fades into the background. And don’t forget glow sticks!

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decoration, part activity, paint a wall mural with black Kraft paper and glow paint. Cut lengths of black paper to fit your wall, and then adorn them with different colors of glow paint. Try splattering the paint, write guests’ names or create a scene.


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The time Rachel the Pig ate my credit card


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n my family, we’re not hikers or bikers or skiers but we can chow down on local fare alongside the best of the Northwest’s fleece-wearing foodies. And the one spot that never disappoints? Pike Place Market. We’ve been there hundreds of times, but I’ll never forget our first visit. Two words: Sensory overload. Gorgeous flowers, fresh fruit, perfect piroshky. And also, crowds. As any Seattleite well knows, Pike Place is often crawling with people, particularly in the summer. I know first-hand how overwhelming a place the Market can be. Take the photo to the right. That’s my youngest, Maya, looking on as a Pike Place staffer deconstructs the famous Rachel the Pig piggy bank. Why? Because Maya had decided Miss Piggy needed a loan; she dropped my credit card into the slot on the pig’s back — hence the extraction. It drew more attention than The publisher’s two daughters watch as the famous fish-throwers Pike Place staff rescues Mom’s credit card nearby. (I probably could have used a tip or two about parenting in public that day; see p. 27). Still, as crazy as the Market can be, it’s a perfect spot to take your family this summer — whether or not you have visitors in town. Not only is Pike Place expanding, it’s home to countless stalls and shops that’ll keep kids of all ages (including any family outing-adverse teens) busy for hours on end. Trust us; we’ve been there, done that and got the photos of Rachel to prove it (p. 9). On the other side of the city this issue, we explore a West Seattle child care center that, to us, just makes good sense. The Intergenerational Learning Center, a day program for young children, is nestled in the heart of Providence Mount St. Vincent, a care community for older adults. The result? Priceless moments and plenty of adorable photos (p. 20). This story particularly speaks to me. My kids have been raised among older family friends including the 97-year-old inspiration who is Dr. Aaron Bernstein. A father of four, grandfather of 10 and a newly minted great-grandfather, Dr. Bernstein lights up when surrounded by family. With his love of life and magic that fills a room, he sets the standard of fathers to be celebrated (psst — Father’s Day is June 18). Also on our Cool Dad radar: Seattle dad Jama’l Chukueke (p. 34). Not only did the father of a 2-year-old recently start a new gig at the University of Washington Bothell, he works with Families of Color Seattle (FOCS) while also running a podcast, Diversity Dad. “Obviously,” he tells us, “you gotta work until your eyes bleed.” What better expression to signal the end of the school year, right? With that, I wish you a Happy Father’s Day, a sunny start to a new season and a not-too-exhausting summer break.


June 2017, Vol. 15, No. 6 PUBLISHER/EDITOR Alayne Sulkin


Nancy Chaney


Gemma Alexander, Nancy Schatz Alton, Will Austin, JaiYing Grygiel, Malia Jacobson, Sara Lindberg


Lindsey Carter


Nicole Persun



FD15_careworks_1-16.indd 1 Dani Carbary, Kristyn Wagoner, Ida Wicklund

6/1/15 10:14 PM


Jessica Collet



Mallory Dehbod

See pg 35



Emily Johnson


Amy Chinn


Go Outside and Play!






Angela Goodwin



Joan Duffell COMMITTEE FOR CHILDREN John Gottman, Ph.D.


Laura Kastner, Ph.D.


Bea Kelleigh


Yaffa Maritz, M.A.


Ron Rabin THE KIRLIN FOUNDATION Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.



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8 • June 2017 •

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To market, to Pike Place Market The 110-year-old ‘city within a city’ has something for everyone — from toddlers to teens


By Gemma Alexander • Illustrations by Alli Arnold

t 9 a.m. on a spring weekday, Pike Place Market is a hive of quiet efficiency. In the main hall, Hmong flower growers bundle bright bouquets, while local farmers artfully stack rhubarb. At the north end of the market, the last few crafters crowd around a whiteboard, selecting their stalls for the day. Downstairs, 3- and 4-year-olds finish breakfast at the Pike Market Child Care and Preschool before a day of play. Outside, a few people — locals on their way to work and jet-lagged tourists — stop by Victor Steinbrueck park to enjoy the view that’s emerging as clouds lift: Great Wheel, Olympics, ferries, Sound. It’s the calm before the storm. Within the next few hours, hundreds of tourists will descend and Rachel the Pig will disappear beneath a crowd. Cameras and phones will be held aloft in every corner of the Market to capture the color and chaos of the 9-acre maze of buildings, restaurants, shops,

arcades and alleys that historian Alice Shorett has called “the soul of the city.” Ah, the Market. It’s ours, but it also belongs to the millions of tourists who visit it every year (it receives an estimated 10 million visitors annually). And though we locals love our regional icon, when we think of wading through the crowds to spend a day there with our kids, we just … hesitate. Families don’t need to explain that hesitation to Heather Chermak. “When I suggested a field trip to the Pike Place Market for my son’s preschool, all the parents said, ‘No way,’” says Chermak, co-owner of Seattle by Foot tour company. Chermak leads the Seattle Kid’s Tour, which shows families the Market as well as other downtown locales. “There are crowds, and you do have to talk to your kids about safety and let them know to stay close,” says Chermak, who has successfully taken her 9-year-old son, who has a sensory processing disorder, to the Market since he was 2.

But all that prep? It’s absolutely worth it. “Pike Place Market is one of the things that makes Seattle unique,” says Chermak. “It’s a little city within a city, and it’s important for kids to see that community.” In the summer, you can even find kids spending the day with their vendor parents, she says. “On my tours, I introduce kids to young adults who grew up at the Market and are now running their own businesses in the Market community.” And guess what? Pike Place Market might be more family-friendly now than ever before. Recent renovations aim to make it cleaner and safer without smoothing out its homespun edges, rooted in a Seattle once populated largely by farmers and fishermen. When the MarketFront expansion opens on June 29 (see “There grows the Market” p. 15), families will have more locally produced food choices and a larger, open public space. In honor of that historic expansion, here are insider tips you need to make the most of the Market this summer and far beyond. >> • June 2017 • 9


A WORLD OF ART STEPS FROM PIKE PLACE MARKET The Seattle Art Museum offers an array of family programs. Kids under 12 are always free!


Short and sweet with lots of treats


“Visiting the Market with kids is all about timing and being prepared,” Heather Chermak says. To avoid overwhelming toddlers and preschoolers, either arrive early — just as the Market opens — or at the end of the day. “It’s easier to walk through the Market and see things,” she says. Later, when the crowds arrive, “there are also hidden hallways and quiet spaces to take a breather,” Chermak says. Once you’ve parked (see “Fresh tips,” p. 13), head to the south end of the Market, near Pike Street, where, if you’re lucky, the cash-only Daily Dozen Doughnut Company won’t have a long line. Give your little ones a boost so they can watch the doughnut robot make the delicious morsels. Order a mixed bag and eat the contents as you watch the fish-tossing show at nearby Pike Place Fish Market. While you’re there, play tourist and take some pics of your kids on Rachel the Pig. Head to nearby Seattle Watercolors (in the Economy Market Building on Pike Street), which sells a Pike Place Market coloring book drawn by the owner’s daughter. In the arcades, take time to enjoy the buskers (if you tip them, let your

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10 • June 2017 •


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Bring cash: Daily Dozen Doughnut Company offers a sweet stop


child put the money in their jars) and taste every available sample. Browse the Main Arcade for a fun souvenir and look for day-stall vendors who sell their wares with their babies strapped to their backs (the San Nicolas Book Art stall is one). Also keep an eye out for Adorable Seattle’s handmade stuffed animals. When it starts to get crowded, cross Pike Place to the Sanitary Public Market Building. Look at the ostrich eggs at Pike Place Creamery and give your little ones time to play on the rocking horses in front of the display case. Check out the live crabs in the neighboring tanks and take Post Alley to Beecher’s Handmade Cheese to watch cheese being made in 10,000gallon vats. Need a break? Head to the 2,000-square-foot rooftop Urban Garden (follow signs to Maximilien, then turn left before you get there). Here, your kids can run around and decorate the chalkboard replica of Rachel. Local Color (corner of Pike Place and Stewart) is a good spot for a coffee fuel-up. The spacious gallery/coffee shop makes a great latte and has plenty of room to park a stroller. Find a play stop at Boston Street Baby Store (Post Alley at Stewart), which boasts a train set children can play with while adults browse. Sugar up next door at The Chocolate Market, which sells traditional candy, fudge and unique treats like huckleberry popcorn and chocolate slugs. On your way back to the car, explore the MarketFront plaza (open in June) and enjoy the view of Elliott Bay. Peek through the windows at Old Stove Brewing Co.’s automatic bottler and Indi Chocolate’s conveyor belt. But don’t push it: Unlike tourists, you don’t have to fit everything into one visit.

Savor samples: Walk the Main Arcade and try local wares


Exploring 9 acres of adventure If 100 elementary school classrooms can pull off field trips to Pike Place Market every year, you can do it with a grade-schooler or two. Scott Davies knows. As education program director at the Market, he’s an expert at engaging kids in its history. “With second-graders, we talk about community. Older students learn about history, too, and by fifth grade, we talk about business and entrepreneurship.” Take your cue from Davies and prep kids about what they’ll see. Younger kids may be more likely to try a new fruit (all those samples!) when they know the vendor had a hand in growing it. Older kids are ready to understand the difference between chain stores and market stalls, and that each vendor runs their own small business. Start your day with school-age kids by fueling up on coffee and cocoa (don’t miss the marshmallow bar) at Ghost Alley Espresso, next to the Gum Wall in Lower Post Alley. (Ghost Alley also conveniently sells gum.) Look for the nearby tiny pocket park and the dangerous-looking art fence surrounding a power substation at the south end. Shop the Main Arcade, and try samples on offer including Pappardelle’s chocolate fettucine (high stall No. 8). Among the crafts tables, keep an eye out for Planet of the Puppets and fiber art fish from Rachael Just Creates among the crafts tables. When it gets crowded, head “Down Under” to explore five floors of quirky shops and candy stores, possibly more of interest to kids of this age than the farmers market. Bring quarters for the Giant Shoe Museum (Lower Level 4, part of Old Seattle Paperworks) and coin-operated fortune tellers scattered throughout the lower levels. Kids are drawn to the preserved bugs and samurai swords at F & J Great Western Trading Co., and the stuffed-animal zoo and cat-themed everything at Merry Tails. Golden Age Collectables serves the desires of fandom of all ages with everything from Funko Pop! dolls to movie scripts, alongside its comic book collections. Market Magic and Novelty is a must-visit. And kids will think they’ve truly found Diagon Alley when they see the bulk herbs and singing bowls at Tenzing Momo in the Economy Market Building. For lunch, walk north on the cobblestones of Pike Place to the Soames-Dunn • June 2017 • 11

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feature To market, to Pike Place Market continued from page 11 Building between Stewart and Virginia. There you

can find Chinese street food — noodles and flat bread — and a quiet courtyard at Country Dough. For a treat, find out whether Turkish Delight’s signature treat lives up to its Narnian hype (just south of Virginia on Pike Place), or quaff Rachel’s ginger beer instead of butterbeer. Take your selfies at Victor Steinbrueck Park before exploring the new MarketFront. If older kids are ready to explore on their own, borrow one of Davies’ many scavenger hunt ideas, such as an A-to-Z food hunt or a stuffed pastry challenge: “Every culture has its own version,” he says.


Foodies in training, indie identities and busking Teens are primed to explore the Market’s many subcultures. “Many Market businesses are so unique that they appeal especially to teens . . . they can find goods that express their personalities, their interests, their styles,” says Davies. If you can get your teens out of bed early, have them watch a few minutes of the daily roll call, which is how the Market swings into action 363 mornings a year. Called up in order of seniority, day-stall craft vendors pick the location where they’ll sell that day. Before exploring, build an itinerary with your teen based on their interest. If your teen’s a foodiein-training, point them to Sur La Table — yes, it’s a national chain, but it began in 1972 on Pine Street as

Seattle’s first kitchen store. For inspiration, explore one of four spice shops (MarketSpice near Rachel is a favorite) and ethnic grocery stores scattered throughout the Market. Consider timing your visit around an Atrium Kitchen program, where many of the events are free. All are listed in the Market’s online events calendar ( market-events). The lower levels are a collector’s paradise. Every day is Halloween at Orange Dracula, a self-proclaimed “Woolworths for weirdos” with a pinball machine and black-and-white photo booth. Holy Cow Records offers quality crate digging, while Chin Music Press sells Enfu posters alongside its own chapbooks and Asian-themed publications. The north end of Down Under’s third level opens to Western Avenue, where the Market continues with more shops. Don’t miss Ugly Baby and La Ru, your one-stop shop for lasereyed kitten T-shirts and roller-skating unicorn needlepoint kits. Introduce budding leftists to the shelves at the anarchist collective Left Bank Books at 92 Pike St., where the inventory makes a political statement. Fuel gap-year dreams with cartographic art, guidebooks and travel literature at Metsker Maps on First Avenue. Also, don’t miss one of the newest Market tenants: Eighth Generation. The gallery, located just above the Gum Wall, is owned by local artist Louis Gong, whose unexpected interpretations of native art traditions on goods ranging from sneakers to phone cases address questions of identity. Lunch can double as a history lesson: Wade through the crowds in the Main Arcade to get to the Athenian Inn, which has served seafood at the Market since 1909. Or cross cultures and find Farvahar Persian Cafe in the almost-secret food court tucked behind Rachel’s Ginger Beer in Post Alley. Finally, if your teen performs, he or she can actually join the Market community for a day (or more). Busking permits are available to anyone with any kind of performing talent for only $30 per year from the Market office. Busking, in the spirit of the Market, is a summer job without a cubicle or a time card. n

Fresh tips In the summer, Wednesdays are the best day for visiting the Market. Cruise ships don’t stop in Seattle on Wednesdays, and an afternoon farmers market aimed at serving local families runs on Wednesdays from 3–7 p.m., through September. Consider taking public transportation, but if you do drive, park in the Public Market Parking Garage at 1531 Western Avenue. The newly expanded, multilevel garage is one of the cheapest downtown. It is attached to the new MarketFront and connects to the main Market by a pedestrian bridge. Before you do anything at the Market, grab a foldout map at the information desk at First Avenue and Pike Street. (Tip: Kids who ask nicely may receive a souvenir button with their map.) Download one of the themed Pocket Guides online, including a handy public art cheat sheet, at You can also use the Stqry app ( to find iconic artworks at the Market. If it happens to be raining when you’re ready to take a break, head to the public seating in the waterfront viewing area near Sound View Café. If it’s sunny, head to the new MarketFront plaza where there will be lots of room to sit. The Urban Garden is a peaceful spot for a picnic, but don’t pick the produce; this is a giving garden — all the food is grown for donation to the Pike Place Food Bank. Just opened last year, Shug’s Soda Fountain & Ice Cream, on First Avenue, is a fun stop for an old-fashioned treat, as well as a coinoperated pony ride. Reminder: Always ask before taking photos of vendors or their products — craftspeople can be protective of their designs — and always tip buskers if you take their photo. Take a tour from the pros: Seattle by Foot’s two-hour Seattle Kid’s Tour is a behind-thescenes intro to the Market and its community (, $100/family). On Saturdays in the summer, Friends of the Market offers an art and history-focused tour of the Market ( that welcomes families (adult $15; age 6-12 $8; under 6 free; reservation required). If your highest priority is still to avoid crowds, go on a rainy weekday and not in the summer. But you already knew that, right? • June 2017 • 13

On The Oregon Coast



Miss Piggy

9 fun facts about Pike Place

• • • • • • • • • 1

Market’s famous mascot

Rachel the Pig, who has been at the Market since 1986, is the creation of Northwest sculptor Georgia Gerber, who also sculpted the gorilla and baboon families at Woodland Park Zoo and the Husky Stadium’s dog.


Gerber modeled Rachel after her neighbor’s pet pig, who was a prizewinner at the 1985 Island County Fair.

Seven miles of beach. Unlimited family fun.


T  he bronze pig weighs in at 550 pounds — 200 pounds less than the real Rachel!


Rachel is an amazing fundraiser, collecting coins to benefit a variety of social services provided by the Market Foundation, including a day care and preschool, a senior center, an assisted living center, a food bank and a health care clinic.


Most Market visitors don’t realize that there is a second bronze pig, Billie, who was installed in honor of Rachel’s 25th birthday near the Hillclimb Walk on Western Avenue.


Billie recently moved to a new, more prominent spot on the new MarketFront plaza. Kids can trace Billie’s journey along a trail of bronze footprints, each engraved with the name of a donor who helped make the MarketFront possible.


Between them, the pig “cousins” bring in between $20,000 and $25,000 per year in spare change, which is emptied daily.

Plan your getaway at 14 • June 2017 •


E  ven the foreign coins deposited in the piggy banks are put to good use — as play money at the on-site preschool.


Sometimes Rachel enjoys dressing up at night for special occasions. If you arrive very early in the morning, you might find her wearing Seahawks colors or a New Year’s party hat. Once she even wore a tutu and tiara!

There grows the Market By Gemma Alexander


t’s finally (almost) done! On Thursday, June 29, Pike Place Market will officially open the MarketFront, an expansion that fulfills a vision for the Market 40 years in the making. Built over a parking lot on Western Avenue, the MarketFront will add 30,000 square feet of retail and public open space to the north end of Pike Place Market. The addition takes the form of an airy new retail building with four destination food spots, and a public plaza and canopied vendor area on the building’s rooftop. Care was taken to maintain and maximize views of the Sound and the Olympics. The project also adds 300 new parking spaces to the Market garage. Ben Franz-Knight, executive director of Pike Place Market Preservation and Development Authority (PDA), says the MarketFront will offer “a relief valve for the congestion along Pike Place and in the arcades.” The vendor area will house as many as 47 new day stalls, including spaces for University of Washington business students to test products and for Chief Seattle Club members (homeless and low-income Native Americans) to sell native crafts. Inside the building, the retail and restaurant tenants will create products on site. Old Stove Brewing Co. will use a Laverne & Shirley– style automatic bottler for its beverages. Indi Chocolates’ candy will dry on a conveyor belt near the shop’s window, while staff at Honest Biscuits will mix and bake as visitors watch. And at Little Fish, the latest venture by Jarr & Co., canning, curing, salting and smoking will be visible from the dining room. And the best is yet to come: For now, the MarketFront abuts the Viaduct, with a small path leading from the edge of the Market under the Viaduct to the waterfront. But after the Viaduct comes down in 2020, the MarketFront will connect seamlessly to the new waterfront via


Opening June 29, the historic MarketFront expansion gives Pike Place Market room to breathe

Municipal Market Building on Western Avenue. walkways where pedestrians can enjoy stunning After the fire, the site was used as a parking lot for views as they descend. decades. Eventually, a plan was developed for a new The expansion is a new peak for the Market, space that everyone could love. which has had many ups and downs since its Look for quirky design details at the opening in 1907. Eight farmers showed up to sell MarketFront such as visible water pipes and along Pike Place on that first day, and within a a funky jog in the pathway near the elevator. week, the Market had 70 vendors. Three new pieces of public art and a low-rise In the 1930s, the Market featured roughly 600 architectural style complement the rough-hewn farmers, many of them Japanese immigrants. The aesthetic of the old Market. Market lost more than half of its farmers overnight But Franz-Knight is most excited about an in 1942 with the internment of Japanese Americans aspect of the expansion that is largely hidden — a huge loss that propelled its decline through the to visitors: its impact on the Market’s resident ’50s and ’60s. (Look for the artwork above Rachel the community. Opposite the new retail space, for Pig honoring the Market’s lost Japanese farmers.) example, 40 new apartments will provide housing When the maze of aging buildings was slated for low-income seniors, some for demolition in the ’60s, of whom were once homeless. architect Victor Steinbrueck “Nothing could feel better famously rallied Seattle to than showing someone Parts of the MarketFront will “Save the Market.” Voters who has lived in their car quietly open up throughout approved the creation of a for two years into their new June, but the grand opening historic district in 1971, and apartment,” he says. n is scheduled for Thursday, in 1973, the City of Seattle June 29, from 2–7 p.m., with established the PDA to manage Gemma Alexander is a Seattlean official ceremony at 2 p.m., the Market. Locals and tourists followed by performances from based freelance writer with local musicians. Get more info began to return. two daughters. She blogs about on the opening at parentmap. The MarketFront expansion books and travel and spends too com/market. has its roots in another crisis: much time on Twitter the 1974 fire that destroyed the (@gemmadeetweet).

Grand opening • June 2017 • 15






0617_the_5th_ave_theater_romy_1-4.indd 1

0617_peps_1-8h.indd 1 5/10/17 9:36 PM

EXHIBIT NOW OPEN Think about the color red. What is the first thing that comes to mind?

In this interactive exhibit visitors will; experience how color impacts our daily lives, view colorful object displays and learn about the significance and usage of color by our contemporary artists.

16 • June 2017 •

STORYTELLING • Guided tour • Outdoor scavenger hunt • Listen to traditional stories in the longhouse CANOE • Guided tour •  Gallery scavenger hunt • Sand and design your own cedar paddle necklace

Whether we are aware of it or not, color impacts our lives. Since time immemorial, color has influenced humans historically, socially and artistically.

All of the Summer Programs include a guided tour and lunch space is available.

Interactive exhibit

Fun for all ages

Explore & learn about color

WEAVING • Guided Tour • Weaving scavenger hunt • Weave your own cedar mat pendant For more details and registration please contact Mary Jane Topash, Group Tours Specialist at 360-716-2657,


5/11/17 8:58 PM


Pike Place Market

by the numbers tossed fish dropped by the fishmongers at Pike Place Fish Market (self-reported)

Market speak

on-site preschool with 100 kids p  reserved bats on display in F & J Great Western Trading Co.’s window  ookstores b acres buildings restaurants farmers licensed to sell at the Market  lus treats sold at Sweetie’s -p Candy in the Down Under

High stalls, day stalls, roll call — what? If you really want to navigate the Market, you need to learn its locations and lingo. Roll call: The Market’s daily morning meeting at the north end of the arcades where day-stall vendors choose their locations. Arcades: The long, semi-open Market halls on Pike Place — lined with farmers and craft and food vendors — are what many think of as the heart of the Market. Grandfathered day stalls: Longtime daystall vendors at the Market who are exempt from both the daily assignment of spaces and the requirement to produce their own wares. Grandfathered stalls are marked with small, hand-painted signs. High stalls: Permanent market stalls (for example, Frank’s Quality Produce and Sosio’s Produce) with angled, stacked displays. (Highstall vendors primarily sell produce, but do not have to grow it themselves.)

c  raftspeople selling at the Market

The Down Under: Burrowed under the Market’s Main Arcade, five floors of quirky shops and novelty stores.

residents in apartments at the Market pounds of chewed gum removed from the Gum Wall in 2015 price for Golden Age Collectables’ most expensive comic books (“Batman No. 1” and “Superman No. 1,” both stored off-site)

tiny doughnuts sold in one day at Daily Dozen Doughnut Company annual visitors

Pike Street: Often confused with Pine Street, Pike Street runs east-west and ends in the Market, where it intersects with the cobblestone road called Pike Place. Post Alley: Running not quite parallel to Pike Place, the alley comprises three segments, including Upper Post Alley, running from Virginia to Stewart streets; Post Alley, running from Stewart to Pike Place (look for Café Campagne); and Lower Post Alley, which picks up on the south side of Pike Street below the Main Arcade and is home to the Gum Wall. Sanitary Public Market: Located between Pike Place and First Avenue, this historic building opened in 1910 and is named for the fact that horses were not allowed inside. The building houses a creamery, a meat market and, on its upper floors, apartments. • June 2017 • 17



160511 Crossroads ParentMap Calendar ad f.pdf

1 5/12/16 3:46 PM MONDAY


PICKS ‘Angst: Breaking the Stigma Around Anxiety’ film screening, June 6

4 FOCS Arts Fest. Families of Color Seattle presents a fabulous lineup of music and dance including the Massive Monkees dance crew and Molly Moon’s ice cream. 2–5 p.m. $20/family; preregister. Washington Hall, Seattle. Maritime Gig Festival. Grand parade, family fun run, music, classic yachts, car show, kids’ activities and more seaside fun. Saturday–Sunday, June 3–4. FREE. Skansie Brothers Park and environs, Gig Harbor.


Pride Parade, Seattle, June 25

Bellevue Strawberry Festival, June 24–25



Evergreen Mountain Bike Festival, Issaquah, June 10–11

Vashon Sheepdog Classic, June 8–11

18 • June 2017 •

Free Fishing. Grab a pole and head down to the Point Defiance Marina for fishing tutorials and discounted boat rentals. No fishing license required in Washington Saturday–Sunday, June 10–11; other rules apply. Vashon Sheepdog Classic. Watch skilled, hard-working pups directing sheep traffic. Thursday–Sunday, June 8–11. $10; ages 10 and under free. Misty Isle Farms, Vashon Island.

5 Let’s Play: Jack & the Beanstalk. Giggles guaranteed at these fun, short shows designed for the preschool crowd. June 5, 8–10; 10:30 a.m. $5. Ages 0–5 with adult. Olympia Family Theater. Toddler Weekdays at Remlinger Farms. Visit the farm with the preschool set and enjoy select rides. Weekdays, 10 a.m.–2 p.m., through June 16. $7. Carnation.

12 Explore the Shore at Owen Beach. Stroll the beach with a naturalist to search for limpets, hermit crabs and other sea life at low tide. 12:45 p.m. (also June 26, 12:35 p.m.). FREE. Ages 5 and up. Owen Beach at Point Defiance Park, Tacoma. Maker Monday. Experiment with 3D modeling and try out the 3D printer. Monday, 1–5 p.m. $5; printing material extra. All ages (under 15 with adult). Future of Flight Aviation Center, Mukilteo. ONGOING EVENT

6 Angst: Breaking the Stigma Around Anxiety. Join ParentMap for this special documentary screening that explores anxiety in kids and young adults and what we can do about it. 7 p.m. $15–$18. Ages 11 and up. Kirkland Performance Center. Sensory Processing or Behavior? Learn about sensory processing issues at this workshop. 6–7:30 p.m. FREE; preregister. Caregivers of ages 0–8. Snoqualmie Valley Hospital.

13 Kitty Literature. Kids practice reading skills with a supportive audience of shelter cats during a 20-minute session. Monday– Friday, 3–6 p.m. FREE; preregister. Ages 5–10. Seattle Humane, Bellevue. ONGOING EVENT Lakewood Farmers Market. This great summer market features produce, prepared food, entertainment and more. Tuesday, 10 a.m.–3 p.m. FREE; items for purchase. Lakewood City Hall. ONGOING EVENT




Father’s Day Family Paddle. Get some exercise on the water with dad while paddling through the Nisqually River wildlife refuge. 10 a.m.–1 p.m. $40; preregister. Ages 7 and up. Luhr Beach boat launch, Olympia. Fenders on Front Street. Car-loving dad? Come and admire cool cars, hear music and enjoy family activities. 8 a.m.–3 p.m. FREE. Downtown Issaquah.

Toddler Time. Open-early play gym lets the little ones burn off energy with bikes, slides and toys. Monday–Friday, 8 a.m.– noon. $2. Ages 3 and under with adult. Issaquah Community Center. ONGOING EVENT The Jim Henson Exhibition: Imagination Unlimited. Visit old friends from Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock and more at this interactive exhibit. Daily, 10 a.m.–5 p.m. See website for special pricing. Museum of Pop Culture, Seattle.

Lacey in Tune Children’s Entertainment Series. Show up Tuesdays in summer for interactive fun; tonight it’s Xakary the Magician with music, comedy and magic. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. through Aug. 1. FREE. Huntamer Park, Lacey. The Real Scoop on Being a New Dad. Informal panel of local dads shares insights — and some laughs — on surviving the first year of fatherhood. 6:30–8:30 p.m. $15; preregister. New and expectant dads. Naked City Brewery, Seattle.




Tiptoe through the Tidepools. Explore what turns up in tide pools when the tide is all the way out. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. FREE. Titlow Beach, Tacoma. Pride Parade. Celebrate all people and families with a wild parade under the theme “indivisible.” 11 a.m.–1:30 p.m. FREE. Fourth Ave. and Union to Seattle Center, Seattle.

Pool Playland. Swim time for parents and tots in the warm pool. Daily, 11 a.m.–noon through summer. $3.75–$5.50; under age 1 free. Ages 0–5 with caregiver. Pop Mounger Pool, Seattle. ONGOING EVENT My Neighbor Totoro. Enjoy this anime classic during Studio Ghibli Fest, through November at select theaters. 12:55 p.m. (dubbed); also June 26, 7 p.m. (subtitled). $10.50–$12.50. Find participating theater online.

Adventure Playground. Get busy on unstructured play in the woods using tools and scrap building materials. Closed-toe shoes and waiver required. Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday, 1–4 p.m. from June 27–Aug. 31 (Sundays only in September). Admission by donation. All ages; under age 12 with adult. Deane’s Children’s Park, Mercer Island.


Slug Fest at Northwest Trek, June 24







Nordic Stories. Hear a story about how to be a Viking, then make a related craft project. 10 a.m. FREE. Ages 3–6 with caregiver. Nordic Heritage Museum, Seattle. Statewide Trout Fishing Derby. Try to catch a tagged trout for prizes at one of many derby lakes. Daily through October 31. FREE with valid fishing license; no license needed for ages 14 and under. Find a lake near you online.

Lewis Creek Story Time. Learn about urban wildlife and create a craft. Sessions at 11 a.m. or 1:30 p.m. FREE; preregister. Ages 3 and up with adult. Bellevue. Edmonds Waterfront Festival. Enjoy festival fun including kids’ activities and live music; Seafair Pirate invasion at 1 p.m. Sunday. Friday–Sunday, June 2–4. $4; ages 12 and under free.

Lake to Lake Bike Ride. Get moving with a two-wheeled family tour of the Eastside; choose a 9- or 22-mile route. 9 a.m. $15–$20. Ages 8 and up. Lake Hills Community Park, Bellevue. lake-to-lake-ride.htm Pagdiriwang Philippine Festival. Youth performances, kids’ activities, food and art showcase the heritage and culture of the Philippines. Saturday–Sunday, June 3–4. FREE. Seattle Center.




Seattle Aquarium Beach Naturalist Program. Explore tidal life at area beaches on low-tide days. 10 a.m.–noon. FREE. Richmond Beach, Carkeek Park, Golden Gardens, South Alki, Lincoln Park, Seahurst and Saltwater State Parks. Check website for additional dates and locations. ONGOING EVENT Board Game Thursday. Drop in for games at Mercer Island Community and Event Center. Thursday, 4–7 p.m. FREE. Ages 7–14.

NOAA Open House. All invited to learn about the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration, engage in hands-on activities and meet scientists. Noon–6:30 p.m. FREE; ID required for adults. NOAA Western Regional Center, Seattle. Pickle: The Dog Who Loved to Read. Anything is Possible Theatre presents this joyful original musical that covers adoption and learning challenges. June 9–25. $8–$15; pay-what-you-can show June 18. Rainier Arts Center, Seattle.

Evergreen Mountain Bike Festival. Pedalheads and newbies alike will enjoy bike shows, demos, skill clinics and more at Duthie Hill Park. Saturday–Sunday, June 10–11. FREE. Issaquah. Cama Fishing Derby. Shore-fishing instruction, boat rental discounts and activities during free fishing weekend (June 10–11). 10 a.m.–1 p.m. FREE. Ages 16 and under. Cama Beach State Park, Camano Island.





Exotics @ ACM: Seductive Supercars. Take your race car lover to ogle the best of the best. Daily, 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Included with admission. LeMay – America’s Car Museum, Tacoma. Women Hold Up Half the Sky Exhibit. Peruse empowering stories of hope and the courage of women overcoming challenges. Tuesday–Saturday, 10 a.m.–5 p.m. FREE. Gates Foundation Visitor Center, Seattle.

Marysville Strawberry Festival Talent Show. Community talent showcase kicks off this fest which includes a carnival, parades (Saturday) and more. 6:30 p.m. $4–$5; ages 6 and under free. Marysville-Pilchuck High School. (Other festival activities FREE Friday–Sunday.) Festival of Sail. Tour historic ships at the dock or on the water and catch a glimpse of the world’s largest rubber duck. Thursday– Sunday, June 15–18. $9 and up. Thea Foss Waterway, Tacoma.

Meeker Days. Huge community street fair with inflatables for kids, beer and wine garden for adults, car show, live music and more. Friday–Sunday, June 16–18. FREE; some activities have fee. Downtown Puyallup. Ranger-led Bat Walk. Take a hike in the dark (bring your own head lamp or flashlight) and learn all about local bats. 8:30–10 p.m. $4–$5; preregister. Ages 5 and older. Lewis Creek Park Visitor Center, Bellevue.

Fremont Fair. Party at the center of the universe with kids’ activities, dog parade (Sunday, 2:30 p.m.), music, art cars and the memorable Solstice Parade (Saturday, 1 p.m.). Saturday–Sunday, June 17–18. FREE. N. 34th and Fremont Ave. N., Seattle. A Day of Play with Dad! Challenge dad (and mom) on the challenge course after a pancake brekkie. 8:30 a.m.–noon. $8; ages 3 and under free. South Bellevue Community Center.





Experience Science Story Time. Stories and science demos, a nifty combo. Choose 11:30 a.m. or 2:30 p.m. session. Included with admission. Imagine Children’s Museum, Everett. Gridiron Glory: The Best of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Football fans will go gaga at this exhibit packed with memorabilia. Tuesday–Sunday, through Sept. 10. Included with admission. Washington State History Museum, Tacoma.

Children’s Hour - Around the World. Preschoolers voyage to another continent via this drop-in story time with cultural activities. Thursdays, 10:30–11:30 a.m. FREE. Ages 2–5 with adult. Scarecrow Video, Seattle. ONGOING EVENT Tugboat Story Time. Get your sea legs on and board a tugboat for stories and fun. Second and fourth Thursdays of the month, 11 a.m.–noon. FREE. Ages 2–5 with caregiver. Center for Wooden Boats, Seattle. ONGOING EVENT

Auburn Kids Day! Kick off summer with a day filled with kid-sized fun like entertainment, bouncing, face-painting, mini golf and more. 11 a.m.–4 p.m. FREE; some activities have fee. Les Gove Park. Taste of Tacoma. Bring your appetite for tasty creations to this gourmet picnic with live entertainment, including a kids’ stage. Friday–Sunday, June 23–25. Free entry; food for purchase. Point Defiance Park, Tacoma.

Slug Fest. Learn about our slow-moving, somewhat slimy, under-rated northwest co-habitant with games and crafts. Saturday–Sunday, June 24–25. Included with admission. Northwest Trek Wildlife Park, Eatonville. Bellevue Strawberry Festival. Scrumptious strawberry shortcake, family fun area, live entertainment and more. Saturday– Sunday, June 24–25. FREE; select activities have fee. Crossroads Park, Bellevue.




Summer Storytime at the Cabin. Kids settle in to hear pioneer stories and then participate in games and a craft. Dress-up clothes provided. Wednesday, 3–4 p.m. through Aug. 30. By donation. Job Carr Cabin Museum, Tacoma. Wild Wednesday. Free admission the last Wednesday of the month with two-item food bank donation. 9 a.m.–8 p.m. FREE with food donation. Ages 1–10. PlayDate SEA, Seattle.

Pike Place MarketFront Grand Opening. Check out the highly anticipated MarketFront for the very first time and join in the celebration including music, market treats and a visit from the mayor. Times TBA. FREE. Seattle. Toddler Time at WiggleWorks. Enjoy special themed activities just for the wee ones. Tuesday, Thursday, 10 a.m.–noon. $8–$10; adults and under age 1 free. Toddlers under 48 inches in height. WiggleWorks Kids, Bellevue. ONGOING EVENT

Swan Creek Campfire Program. Enjoy the campfire experience complete with songs and stories, then head home to your own cozy bed. 8–9:30 p.m. FREE; preregister. Swan Creek Park, Tacoma. Movie Night at Mercer Slough. Watch The Incredible Journey of the Butterflies, a film shot from a butterfly’s point of view. 5–6 p.m. FREE; RSVP requested. Mercer Slough Environmental Education Center, Bellevue.


7 Toddler Tales & Trails. Kids and caregivers enjoy story time and a short hike perfect for tots. Wednesdays and Saturdays, 10–11 a.m. $2. Ages 2–5 with adult. Seward Park Audubon Center, Seattle. ONGOING EVENT Walk About Wednesday. Head outside and explore Sunset Park with the family on this guided walk; healthy snacks provided. 6 p.m. FREE. Sunset Park, Auburn.

Fenders on Front Street, Issaquah, June 18 • June 2017 • 19

raising kind

Friend knows no age at this West Seattle center



few years ago, a young boy changed an old man’s life. While visiting a senior care living community in West Seattle, the child crawled up into the lap of the elderly resident. Instinctively, the man put his arm around the boy to secure him in place — an arm the man hadn’t been able to move in years. Such magic is commonplace at this West Seattle child care center. Called the Intergenerational Learning Center (ILC), this licensed center cares for 125 children who interact with the elderly residents of Providence Mount St. Vincent, which is in the same building. The age of the children: between 6 weeks and 5 years old. The average age of the residents? Ninety-two. “The Mount,” as staff and residents call Providence Mount St. Vincent, has 109 assisted living apartments, a 58-bed transitional care unit and an international reputation as a prime example of what industry insiders call “resident-directed care.” The Mount’s success may have something to do with the pitter-patter of little feet that seem to fill every room. ILC children and teachers can go anywhere in The Mount for activities and visits with residents, and each class has six scheduled weekly visits planned with a group of residents. Residents are also welcome to drop by the ILC for time with the children throughout the week. The goal is simple, says ILC director Marie Hoover. “Caring for one another is central to the mission, whether you live here, work here or spend the day with us,” she says. “There is nothing more important.” The idea behind ILC came about 25 years ago after the administration of The Mount realized that its vibrant community was missing something: the joy of children.

TOP TO BOTTOM: Resident Charlotte Zemanek, 87, searches for letter beads with Amelia Stone, 4. Resident Helene Walling, 84, watches Dylan Williams, 2, and Hazel Barley, 2, dance. Resident Lillian Hsieh, 83, claps at the end of a song. FAR RIGHT: Mayzie Cannady, 4, sitting next to resident Peter Kok, rests her head on the table while listening to the teacher describe the project for the class.

20 • June 2017 •

Editor’s note: Join ParentMap on a year-long conversation to explore how families and schools can nurture empathy, mindfulness and kindness.




for the young and old

Caring for one another is central to the mission

Open 8am - 8pm, 365 days a year! Get In. Get Out.

A staff member suggested they establish a child care program that would integrate both residents and children on a daily basis. The ILC opened its doors in September 1991 with a first class of 12 children. Soon, The Mount’s staff noticed changes in the emotional and physical welfare of the residents; 0517_immediate_clinic_1-4.indd they were more engaged and active when the children came through. Hoover says she’s seen that change firsthand. “In a 30-year career working with vulnerable populations, I’ve witnessed the impact of chronic isolation on people from all walks of life,” Hoover says. “The meaningful moments of connection that are created between the children and

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raising kind FRIENDSHIP KNOWS NO AGE continued from page 21

How to keep math skills up over the summer


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BEAUTIFUL K-12 CAMPUS IN SEATAC • 206-246-8241 22 • June 2017 •


The cure for math dread? Math play. The antidote for “not getting math”? More math play. Math play happens any time you combine a math concept with play. It can be as simple as guessing how many steps it takes to get to a tree and then counting them out, 6:20 PMreading a math story book, playing a game of Connect Four or availing yourself of a growing number of math board games. The learning happens within a fun or practical context. The timing could not be more critical for the next generation of learners. A recent study published in The Journal of Psychological Science found that children with math-anxious parents who helped them with their math homework learned less math during the school year and were more likely to be anxious about the subject. In other words, if you show your kids you’re scared of math, they’ll be scared, too. Get ideas on how to make math fun all summer long (and beyond!) at parentmap. com/math-fun.

— Emily Grosvenor

residents bind us as a community, and we all reap the benefits.” One particular benefit: Both the young and the elderly tend to live “in the moment.” Small children often find satisfaction in short-lived activities, while residents who have dementia or Alzheimer’s disease often find a sense of comfort interacting with the kids in such a short, time-specific manner. “There is a sense of joy and engagement just for the duration of that specific visit,” Hoover says. “You can see the increased liveliness on the faces of residents in the presence of the kids, whether there is a direct interaction or not.” That liveliness isn’t limited to the residents. It’s not uncommon to see ILC kids get excited for their daily activities at The Mount. They’ve come to love these interactions with their much older friends, and parents often share stories about how their children have changed for the better, thanks to their time at ILC. One change Hoover often hears about: Children from ILC don’t hesitate to warmly greet elderly people in public places. “Having the aging process normalized [is] just [one] of the benefits to the children,” Hoover says. Another? Having the “opportunity to share love with people who appreciate being in their presence.” Typically, people hear about ILC by word of mouth, and the program has a long waiting list. That said, those interested in applying can call 206938-6195 or email marie.hoover@ Newly accepted families are contacted in the spring and summer about openings for the fall. n Sara Lindberg is a wife, mother, writer and secondary school counselor.



P R E S C H O O L S Eastside Academics School SUMMER SCHOOL

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For incoming K-6 students 9 weeks available: June 12 through August 11 Register by the week

• Small group college prep

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Registration opens February 15


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JAPAN JAPA N FAIR 2017 0517_eastside_academics-1-4.indd 1 1/24/17 1:01 PM

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July 8th & 9th Meydenbauer Center in Bellevue

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When school’s out for the day, we keep kids entertained, active and enriched.

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Call (425) 861-6247 for more information. Shuttle pick-up from select Eastside schools offered for added convenience. (253) 620-8373 Girls & Boys // Jr. K - Grade 12 // Bus Service

24 • June 2017 •

Date: 5-9-17 Advertiser: Charles Wright

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ages + stages



When your kid acts out in public Four parenting-on-stage dilemmas and how to cope By Malia Jacobson

hen Holly Stewart of Tacoma visited Victoria, British Columbia, in 2014 with her parents, husband and young son, she’d planned museum trips, sightseeing and restaurant meals. Not on the agenda: embarrassing public meltdowns. But during a visit to the Royal British Columbia Museum, that’s just what happened. At a hands-on gold-panning demonstration on the museum’s third floor, 4-year-old Henry found and promptly lost a small piece of gold. Then he lost his cool. “He started screaming and flailing. I tried to quietly calm him down and reason with him, but his ability to reason was gone,” Stewart says. “Then, he got even more frantic when he realized that he was not getting a second chance to pan for gold. I scooped him up in my arms to try to prevent him from kicking or knocking over any artifacts or exhibits.” Stewart knew they needed to leave ASAP, but from the museum’s third floor, a quick escape was impossible. Her only option: bundle a thrashing preschooler through a maze of exhibits to the escalator, which they rode down two floors to the exit with Henry’s screams of “I want more gold!” echoing through the building’s three-story, openair atrium. Sooner or later, all kids — even typically mellow, thoughtful ones like Henry — will act out in public. While this is completely normal, it’s also a parental confidence crusher, says parenting coach Jenn Bernert, LMHC, cofounder of Jenn and David Counseling in Seattle ( “As parents, we’re constantly wondering if we’re getting it right. When a child acts out in public, we wonder if it’s a reflection of some sort of personal failure.” It’s not, of course. Kids who misbehave in public are usually responding to some internal or environmental cue in a developmentally appropriate way. In other words, they’re just being kids. But we (with

our pained eardrums) still take it personally. Read on for ways to keep calm when tantrums go public.


The hangry hurricane After the meltdown, Stewart realized that hunger was likely a factor in Henry’s uncharacteristic outburst, since the outing had extended past his normal lunchtime. Once outside the museum, she promptly parked him on a sidewalk bench and fished a granola bar out of her bag. Sure enough, his wails subsided.

When kids’ eating or sleeping schedules are disrupted, low blood sugar and tiredness can negatively impact behavior, says Tacoma-based licensed child psychologist Sarah Heavin, Ph.D. ( This is particularly true when travel takes kids to unfamiliar settings — which also, of course, makes sticking to a routine especially hard. As Stewart experienced, the resulting meltdowns can be outing enders.

What to do Since the museum outburst, Stewart sticks to Henry’s mealtime schedule on trips, even if that means dialing back on scheduled activities. She also keeps a snack in her bag to ward off “hangry” episodes. The family’s recent weeklong trip to Disneyland went off without a hitch, says Stewart, who now blogs about Henry’s eating adventures at How to Feed a Henry (howtofeedahenry.blogspot. com). “We stuck with our regular mealtimes and came back to the hotel each day after lunch for an hour or two of down time, relaxing, reading books together and splashing in the hotel pool,” she says of their California dream.


The kid clash You’re chatting with another parent at the park when you spy a sandbox skirmish swirling around your 3-year-old. Your stomach sinks when you see your daughter clutching a fistful of sand and grinning as her playmate wails and rubs her eyes. The playmate isn’t the only one who’s upset; the other parent isn’t pleased, either. Should you separate the two, force a “sorry” or simply take your sand-throwing child home, stat?

What to do In early childhood, ages 3–6 or so, children still need parental guidance to navigate conflicts with peers, says Bernert. When your child instigates a conflict, say something like, “Your friend is upset, and our rule • June 2017 • 27





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ages + stages When your kid acts out in public continued from page 27 is that we’re kind to our friends. How can we make this right?” Communicating basic expectations about behavior in advance can help simplify discipline when kid clashes occur. If hitting or throwing sand is a deal breaker for you, simply make sure your child knows this before you arrive at the park or for a playdate. If your child is having trouble complying, cut the outing short and try again another day.


‘Pretty please’ pleas What parent hasn’t fielded supermarket pleading to the tune of “But I really, really want it! Please?” Stores can be a minefield for meltdowns, but it’s possible to stick to your guns — and your shopping list. Doing so helps model selfcontrol and financial discipline by way of avoiding impulse purchases. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

What to do Before the shopping trip, let kids know that you’ll only be buying what’s on your list today — and nothing else, says Bernert. If preschoolers can still comfortably fit in a cart, consider making cart rides a shopping habit, since it’s easier to keep kids from pulling things off the shelves when they’re contained, she notes. “I’m also a big fan of the phrase ‘not today’ instead of ‘no,’ and validating kids’ interest in the thing they want,” she says. “Saying ‘That’s a really cool toy, but I need you to put it down so we can go to the cereal aisle’ helps kids feel heard, which can help keep behavior from escalating.”


Public parent shaming When your child melts down in public, you might get glances of pity

and solidarity from other adults — or perhaps a snarky comment or two. It happened to me: During a trip to Red Robin, my then 6- and 3-year-old daughters clashed over the equitable division of the crayons at the table, and a stranger told me loudly that she’d “knock their heads SM14_lake_union_crew_1-8h.indd together” if they were her kids. I was too taken aback to respond. I still wonder what to do in these scenarios: Defend your parenting, respond to the child’s behavior or beat a hasty retreat and stew about the stranger’s remark all day?


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What to do When another adult remarks on your parenting in a judgmental or shaming way, it can be really difficult because you’re busy trying to respond to your child’s distress, says Bernert. “Feel free to ignore [the remark], and if possible, pick up your child and move away so you can parent in peace. If you can’t move away and feel you need to respond, say something like ‘I’m parenting right now, and your comment isn’t helpful.’” If internal dialogue is more your style, come up with some positive parenting mantras to help during tough moments, such as “I’m doing the best I can” and “This, too, shall pass.” And remember that although you may feel as though you’ve been attacked, the stranger’s comment isn’t personal, because that person doesn’t know anything about you or your child, says Bernert. “When you’re not beating yourself up, it’s easier to make good decisions in the moment.” n Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three. She lives in Tacoma.


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someone you should know

See an expanded interview and meet more heroes: /sysk

Jama’l Chukueke

By Nancy Schatz Alton • Photograph by Will Austin On most weekdays, Jama’l Chukueke (pronounced Ja-mel Chick-a-wake-e) rises at 3:30 a.m. to work on his passion project: his podcast Diversity Dad ( Inspired by his 2-year-old daughter, Simone, Chukueke launched Diversity Dad in August 2015. He’s also a co-leader for the Families of Color Seattle (FOCS) Dads’ group ( and the new director of recreation and wellness at the University of Washington-Bothell. To learn more about Chukueke’s work, ParentMap spoke with the Seattle dad.

Why did you create a podcast that’s about supporting dads in all parenting situations?

Around age 10, I realized my dad wasn’t around on a consistent basis because [comparatively] my best friend’s dad was home every time I went to his house. My dad lived in New York City, but I lived with my mom in Syracuse. My mom did her best, but she couldn’t fill this void at an age when I started forming opinions about my self-confidence, racial identity, masculinity, etc. I started the podcast because I wanted to be there for my daughter. I bring on guests that can help me and share that knowledge with others. It’s like therapy to me. What parenting advice from your podcast has really resonated with you?

[Episode no. 48] may be the best one to date. Jeremy Maynard, cofounder of The Furthering Fathering Corp. [a worldwide nonprofit focused on fatherhood and community; furtheringfathering. org], gave me so many nuggets, it was ridiculous. He said, ‘Move from a mindset of burden to a mindset of blessing. I think when it comes to being a father to your kids, it can be challenging at certain points, but they are blessings.’ Maynard also said, ‘Through a multitude of counsel, a purpose is established.’ That also speaks to me because Diversity Dad is about seeking the counsel of other dads. Whom do you admire?

Dr. Dre. He just puts out this quality music; just listen to his beats. And P. Diddy. He’s a marketing monster; he is unstoppable. I’ve been following him on Snapchat, and his message is about spreading love. Yes, he’s made his mistakes, but focusing on those is just going to slow a person down. What are you going to learn from a situation? That’s easier said than done. I still get down on myself, but I tell myself to keep going and learning. 34 • June 2017 •

I’ve stolen one thing that P. Diddy says: ‘It’s just God’s work — don’t worry and just let it flow.’ I’ve taken that in and learned to just be true to myself. For example, at work, I used to hide that I love hip-hop. I look like I’m 18 and I’m a black male, so I acted a part because of some portrayals of young, black males. It took me a long time to just be me, but now I let people know that I love hip-hop. Do you feel it’s important to put your voice forward as a young black dad?

Yes, I feel that it is important that I put my voice out here as a young black dad to provide inspiration to other black men. I am happy to represent young black dads out there as someone who has something creative in their heart and is going after that aspiration. There are many of us ‘black dads’ out here that are trying to do the right thing by their family. But I feel our story is not as prevalent as it needs to be on the surface level of what needs to be shown within a person of color in the parenting community. Where do you see the podcast leading? What’s your ultimate goal?

To own my own TV network and put out diverse programming that speaks to the whole Diversity Dad movement. I understand this is a long journey; I am in this for the next 40–50 years. I’m 38 and I’m just getting started. I have a long way to go, but it’s all right. I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m not worried about the next five or even 10 years. If I keep providing value and creating resources for dads while being my authentic self, I’ll reach my goals. If you have a voice, there’s a market for you. Don’t worry and just keep putting out good shit, and it’ll happen. Obviously, you gotta work until your eyes bleed. n When freelancer Nancy Schatz Alton isn’t meeting deadlines or teaching writing, she writes poetry and essays and works on her memoir about her daughter’s learning journey.

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