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Tips from new Dads on life with a newborn

Reflective parenting Parenting your strong-willed child Hayfever and allergies Remedies for Mums and Mums-to-be ISSUE 261: AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014



Central Baptist Church, 190 Church Street (opposite the Fire Station)

New and quality pre-loved items • Pregnancy and maternity clothes • Baby and children’s clothes, shoes and toys • Highchairs, buggies, cots, bedding, bibs, bottles, breast pumps, baby bags, etc. • Cake stall and raffles • Cash only, gold coin entry Sell your own items—tables only $20 (BYO table or additional $5 table hireage).


Phone 358 4289 or

You can also donate pre-loved and new items to Parents Centre. Items can be dropped off to 30 Waldegrave Street on Tuesdays between 9am-12noon or by arrangement.

Proudly sponsored by This is a fundraising event helping Palmerston North Parents Centre support parents and families in our community.



EDITOR’S NOTE By Rachel O’Connor

Brrr, winter is well and truly here in the Manawatu! We were lucky to have such a mild start with June being the warmest since records began. I’m hoping that we don’t have too many chilly days and spring comes early! It’s Father’s Day on Sunday 7 September so in this issue we’ve got a bit of a focus on Dads. Check out some fatherly advice from new Dads (p. 15), read about the history of Fathers Day and hear what some kids think about their Dads (p. 42). You may have noticed that the Palmy Parent has a fresh new design. This is due to the feedback we received from the online readers’ survey. I’d love to know what you think of this design - please email me at

Find out who won the two free Palmerston North Parents Centre memberships on page 16. We’ve also got an article on secondary infertility (p. 24), which is more common than you think, affecting one in six couples. Make sure you like us on Facebook as we’ll be asking for your thoughts on various products, top tips and advice for future issues of the Palmy Parent. Happy reading!



ADVERTISE IN PALMY PARENT Palmerston North Parents Centre has a circulation of over 250 newsletters per issue. These are sent to all current members as well as Plunket, midwives and other community groups. Our rates are extremely reasonable and we would love your support by way of an advertisement. Also, in addition to our outstanding rates, we offer you a FREE advertorial on your business if you commit to either four or six adverts per annum.

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MISSION STATEMENT Positive birth experiences and informed parenting in a community where parents are supported and highly valued in their role. Disclaimer: Opinions and articles in this magazine do not necessarily reflect Parents Centre NZ policy. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centre.



CONTENTS cover story 14


Reflections on becoming a Dad for the third time, 20 years after his first child was born.

features 15

FATHERLY ADVICE We chat to some new Dads and get their views on life with a newborn.


READERS’ SURVEY Find out the results from our recent readers’ survey.


PRODUCT REVIEW In this issue, we review four kinds of cloth nappies.


DON’T DREAD HAYFEVER Tips on safe alternatives for treating hayfever symptoms during pregnancy and when breastfeeding.


PARENTING: RAISING A STRONG-WILLED CHILD Strong-willed children can be a challenge but can become terrific teens and young adults with the right parenting.


FERTILITY: SECONDARY INFERTILITY When conceiving your first baby was easy, it can be heartbreaking when you can’t fall pregnant a second time around. We look at some causes of secondary infertility and what you can do to improve your chances of success.


PARENTING: STEPS TO A HAPPY FAMILY A year of parenting ‘baby steps’ to create real, lasting transformation in your journey to gentle parenting.


MUMMY MATTERS: THE NEW ARRIVAL How this family prepared their toddler for the arrival of a new baby.


FATHER’S DAY A brief history of Father’s Day.



in every issue

3 6 7 8 10 16 18 20 26 28 29 30 34 39 40 41 43 44 45 46 47

Editor’s note From your President Centre happenings Welcome to the world! Birth story Volunteers needed What’s on in our region Kids book review: The Pigeon Needs a Bath Family friendly outings Health & wellness - getting fit after baby Developmental play: Winter fun Coffee groups in action Book review: Playful Parenting Family recipe: Triple chocolate brownie Building great three and four-year-olds Pregnancy and postnatal yoga Move to music Community support groups Member discounts Playgroups in your area Membership form


Thank you to all our contributors for this issue: Rachel O’Connor (Editor), Jess Howard (President), Robyn Mason (Vice President), Niki Murray, Ai-chi Li-Wilson, Bede Gilmore, Myles Bismark, Neil Wilson, Craig Purves, Renee Murphy, Jo Cowan, Clare Scott, Jo-Anne Wilson, Saritta Burney, Fritha Dods, Pauline Smith, Kate Robinson and Leesa Irvine.

got something to share?

Want to share some helpful advice or a great book you’ve read? Let us know and we’ll share it with our members. Or, if you would like to have your baby’s photos printed, write about your birth experience, review a book or somewhere family-friendly you’ve been recently, we’d love to hear from you! Email the Editor at




After a lovely two weeks away in Fiji with my family in June, I’ve returned back to a much colder New Zealand, refreshed and ready for another busy few months, especially with a new baby boy due in early August. My calendar is pretty full so hopefully he decides to wait for the due date and not surprise me early! Last month PNPC had a Poker Night fundraising event organised by a great team on committee, raising over $2000 towards our new website that we expect to have up and running over the next few months. This is one project we have been particularly excited about so to see it finally unfold is very encouraging. If any of you are familiar with managing a website and would like to help out as a volunteer, we will be needing someone to take on the role of Website Co-Ordinator. This role will involve keeping the website information up-to-date including a fresh homepage featuring our current events. We also had our first Newborn Breastfeeding seminar presented by Cheryl Benn a few weeks ago and will continue to hold this seminar regularly throughout the year free-of-charge. This will give as many Mums as possible the support to prepare for successful breastfeeding with great information and tips to help them through those tough first few weeks. Pregnant Mums-to-be and new Mums, keep an eye out for the next one and make it a priority to attend. I would like to take the opportunity to say a huge thank you to Jo Taylor who has recently stepped down from her role proofreading as she takes on increased responsibility in her paid employment. Jo has been proofreading the Palmy Parent for a number of years. We are very grateful for the time Jo put into this voluntary role, which has often been under very tight timeframes to complete. It has never been a problem and we appreciate the quick turnaround every issue. Thanks again Jo!

of purchases, banking when necessary including online and copying the statements onto our online system. This is an essential role as part of the enrolments process and full training will be provided. Fundraising and Events Co-Ordinator is one where we need someone with great organisational skills to lead the team in our main events for the year and manage the fundraising merchandise. Please contact me directly on or phone 06 327 6666 if you would like to discuss any of these roles further and be part of the committee that makes this all happen! Finally, a reminder about our first Responsive Parenting programme. The first three week series we have developed with Rachel Anderson is now available to the public and the first session start this month. This parenting programme is face-to-face and gives parents the opportunity to openly talk about their challenges and successes. We are looking at continuing this on with a parenting group where those who have attended can continue to come together and help each other. “If we are to reach real peace in this world and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with children. And if they will grow up in their natural innocence, we won’t have the struggle, we won’t have to pass fruitless idle resolutions, but we shall go from love to love and peace to peace, until at last all the corners of the world are covered with that peace and love for which, consciously or unconsciously, the whole world is hungering.” Mahatma Gandhi

There are a few key roles that we are looking to fill in our committee at the moment. The Minutes Secretary role involves sending out the reports prior to the meeting, and taking the minutes at the committee meeting. This role is not time consuming; you are looking at approximately 3-5 hours each month. Another important role is that of Membership and Banking. This role involves entering the new members into our database, sending out membership cards, all receipting



CENTRE HAPPENINGS August ‘Preggy to Preschool’ Garage Sale Saturday 16 August, 8.30am-12noon Central Baptist Church, 190 Church Street (opposite the Fire Station). Donate good quality pre-loved items to PNPC or sell your own items ($20 BYO table or $25 incl table hire). Limited spaces available. Reserve yours today!

Responsive Parenting Workshops Starting Monday 18 August for 3 consecutive weeks Cost: $50/couple for all 3 sessions OR $15/person or $20/couple casual attendance (per session).

September **NEW** Seminar: Returning to Work Thursday 4 September @ 10am Mums and Dads, if you are planning on returning to work, whether it be part-time or full-time, and are considering early childhood care for your little one, this seminar is a MUST. Come along and hear Rachel Bowen (Trainer, Learning Consultant, Mum of three, and PNCC Councillor) discuss some great ideas for a smoother less-stressful return to work, things to look for when considering different early childhood care and education options and longer-term career options.

Newborn Breastfeeding Thursday 18 September @ 10 am This seminar is designed for ALL expectant or new Mums who are intending on or have recently begun breastfeeding. In this seminar, Cheryl discusses tips for preparing for and beginning breastfeeding, and strategies for an effective and sustainable breastfeeding journey. Presented by Cheryl Benn, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, selfemployed Midwife, and Regional Midwifery Advisor to MidCentral and Whanganui District Health Boards.

Seminar: Developmental Activities for Children 0-3 years Monday 22 September @ 10am One of our most popular seminars that always books out in advance. Presented by Andrea Hayes & Yvonne Pincott from PAFT/Plunket. FREE for all.

October Photo Fundraiser with Kim Sargent Photography

available on Thursday 30th and Friday 31st. Please enquire for available times. Cost: $110 members, $125 non-members.

November Seminar: Baby Talk for Beginners Friday 21 November @ 10am An introduction to sign language for hearing babies. Cost to be confirmed.

Introductory Water Skills for Infants Thursday 27 November @ 9.30am Freyberg Community Pool. Come along and learn some skills for introducing your child to the water whether at home or at the pool. FREE for all to attend. For infants 5 months+. BONUS: Attendees receive a discount voucher for swimming lessons at CLM Swim Magic.

Registrations essential as spaces are limited. To register, email Parents Centre at, phone 358-4289, or click “going” to this event on our Facebook page:

Date to be confirmed. Perfect for Christmas presents! Our Parent Education seminars

Seminar: Sharlene Poole—Baby Whispering Seminars & Private consultations

Our Parent Education seminars are arebrought proudly brought to youwith in proudly to you in partnership partnership with Barnardos KidStart Barnardos KidStart

Thursday 30 and Friday 31 October Newborns (0-3 months), Thursday @ 1.30pm, Infants (4-12 months) Thursday @ 10am. Cost: $35 Parents Centre members, $50 non-members. $20 extra for partners. A limited number of private 1-1 consultations




WELCOME TO THE WORLD! Welcome to all the new babies born to our wonderful Parents Centre members! If there are any corrections to the lists below, please email

CLASS: 29 OCTOBER 2013 N 11 JA14 0 2

CBE: Tracy Torok, HOSTESS: Samantha Bleakley

N 21 JA14 0 2

DAVI THUM CARDOSO PARENTS: Caroline Thum & Rafael Cardoso

N 31 JA14 0 2

PARENTS: Jocelyn & Christopher Parker

1 FEB4 201


2 FEB4 201

B 17 FE14 0 2


ANNIE JANET MILES PARENTS: Alice Barnard & David Miles

B 26 FE14 0 2

BELLA ANNE HAWKINS PARENTS: Caro Hacking & Paul Hawkins

B 28 FE14 0 2


PARENTS: Pauline Smith & Dean Griggs

B 23 FE14 0 2



MAISEY SWEET-PEA BATLEY PARENTS: Alex Phipps & Daniel Batley ober 2013 Class of 29 Oct

Class of 12


March 201



CLASS: 18 FEBRUARY 2014 AR 25 M14 20


CBE: Jenny Warren, HOSTESS: Lucy Palmer

PR 12 A14 0 2

PARENTS: Annie Leary & Luke Shannon

Y 2 MA4 201


PARENTS: Candice Hoult & Phil Rabone

Y 5 MA4 201

PARENTS: Charlene Purcell & Kyle Harris

Y 7 MA 4 201


AY 19 M14 20

PARENTS: Hannah Gavigan & Ryan James

AY 20 M14 20

AY 24 M14 20

MONIQUE SOUZA FENTON PARENTS: Nely Maria de Souza & Daniel Fenton



CLASS: 12 MARCH 2014 AY 27 M14 20


AY 24 M14 20


AY 24 M14 20


N 12 JU14 0 2

L 5 JU4 1 0 2




DELTA JAY DUNCAN PARENTS: Sarah Stephens & Sam Duncan

CBE: Jo Hiscox, HOSTESS: Rebecca Gommans

N 7 JU 4 201


N 14 JU14 20


N 15 JU14 20

PARENTS: Sharon & Geoff Holmes

N 20 JU14 0 2


PARENTS: Fran & Henry Dodunski

PARENTS: Kerry Bradshaw & Samuel Sloan

N 15 JU14 20

PARENTS: Michelle Stephens & Gerard Atkin

PARENTS: Kaye Glasgow & JD Gullery

PARENTS: Helen & Barrett Stanbra

N 9 JU 4 1 20


PARENTS: Emma & Chris Hansen

PARENTS: Kathy & Donald McKinnon

N 11 JU14 0 2



N 24 JU14 0 2





BORN AT HOME, NATURALLY! By Ai-chi Li-Wilson Before I conceived I had done a fair amount of research on pregnancy, birthing and conception and decided on a few things that were important to me: • I was going to have a homebirth; preferably a water birth. Being in the right environment was important for me so I considered hospital the option for a medical emergency. • I felt that the female body was naturally designed to birth as long as I kept it healthy and did the correct things to facilitate that natural process. • I did not want to have any medication. • I would prefer to avoid the use of ultrasounds or dopplers. I wanted a calm home environment to birth in, where I felt safe and


relaxed. I arrived back to New Zealand when I was six months pregnant and didn’t have a midwife organised. I realised while trying to find a midwife that the baby’s due date (January) was a rather inconvenient time to be born as many of the midwives were on holiday. I was very specific in my search for a midwife. They had to be a home-birth midwife; there was no compromising on that. We were finally fortunate enough to find a lead maternity carer that was able to take us on at such a late stage and happy to work with us and our plan. We enrolled in the antenatal classes at the Parents Centre and it was there that I finally put our birth plan onto paper. Our birth plan was: • natural home birth; • no assessment, monitoring

• • •

• • •

or procedures, medical or otherwise; lotus birth; water birth if possible; pain relief used was to be pressure points, massage/back rubs, movement, water, hot/ice packs; physiological birth of the placenta; husband to catch/birth the baby; midwife to be in the background unless she sees me struggling or needs to intervene.

My pregnancy had progressed very well. There were no health concerns for the baby or myself and my blood pressure and urine were always very good (normal). My waters broke on Friday 13th December.


My shorts were wet on the crotch area but the fluid slowed to a trickle with occasional gushes. I spoke to the locum midwife who said it was probably “hind waters” and also phoned my husband, reassured him I was doing fine and contractions had not started yet so no need to rush home. The waiting game began; we waited the rest of Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday for contractions to begin but all I felt were the odd mild tiny cramps (if I wasn’t waiting for the contractions I probably wouldn’t even have noticed them). During this time my midwife came to check on me and we spoke about how much fluid was coming out and whether my membranes had ruptured. She recommended a vaginal exam to be certain as it was unclear from my description. I was hesitant to consent as I knew that if the membranes had ruptured than the baby’s environment would not be ‘sterile’ and I didn’t want any micro organisms to be introduced with the vaginal exam. I eventually consented and she confirmed that my membranes had ruptured prematurely. This was on the Sunday. She spoke to me about my two options which were to either transfer to hospital which would likely mean inducing labour based on how long it had been since my waters had broken, or wait and see whether labour would progress unaided. Antibiotics was recommended as a precaution due to the potential of infection. I declined the antibiotics as I knew that they would kill off all the bacteria within my body including the beneficial bacteria. Instead I decided that I would keep with the nourishing diet I’d been eating, keep drinking 2-3 litres of water per day to replace any fluid that was draining away, take probiotics to help keep my gut flora plentiful, take vitamins B and C and eat bulbs of raw garlic to keep my immune system strong.

The midwife was away for the next couple of days and she encouraged me to go get moving to bring the contractions on. So my husband and I walked the Tawa Loop track in the Gorge and the stairs at Massey and round the local park but still nothing!

While my midwife was away, I had her birthing partner come to check and still nothing, so we waited! Our midwife texted us Tuesday morning with a German cocktail recipe that had never failed to initiate labour so off to the organic shop I went to get all the ingredients. I mixed it up and drank it Tuesday afternoon. It worked like magic, the contractions started Tuesday night. I was awake the whole night with waves of pressure and aches around my pelvis area and was swaying and walking to try ease the aches. I really thought I was going to be waking my husband up and saying “it’s coming, the baby is coming!” But by morning it was all gone! No contractions, no cramps, no aches, no pressure, NOTHING!!! My midwife came by early Wednesday morning to check on me. She suggested another round of the German cocktail and also strongly advised me to take some antibiotics as it had been over 100 hours since my waters had broken. I said that we’d wait until the afternoon and see what happened before we made any decisions about the antibiotics. I had been watching out for any clinical signs of infection, taking my temperature two-three times a day, still taking my supplements in addition to water and raw garlic, so was confident that my immune system was strong and there was no threat of an infection. My midwife left to visit her other appointments and I took another dose of the German cocktail around lunchtime that brought the contractions back. She came back mid-afternoon to check on me and did another vaginal exam and I was only 4cm dilated. Her advice was to do a stretch and sweep (which I consented to) to get the prostaglandins (birth hormones) released as the baby was not low enough to stretch the cervix to trigger this process naturally. My midwife left to see another client, and while she was gone, the contractions increased and by the time she returned at 7pm, I was 7cm dilated. We had the birthing pool all set up and I was eager to get in as I really wanted to have a water birth. I was able to get in at some point during the night but found that it slowed my contractions down and I was starting to stall again. During my time in the water my energy levels started to drop. I had an IV drip to boost my energy back up and immediately felt so much better. Hubby said the light went on in my eyes and the colour came back in my cheeks. I had had enough, I wanted the baby out! While in the water I was so tempted to say to everyone, just get it out, take me to the hospital, cut it out!!! I didn’t verbalise this, it was just



part of the conversation happening in my head at the time, which I now know to be a good sign that the baby was nearly here. We decided to move into the bedroom to lie down and try to rest. So out of the birthing pool with my IV fluids and into the spare room I went. After resting in the spare room for an unknown amount of time, my midwife came in to check on me; the contractions were stronger. She told me to push when the contractions came, which I did, hesitantly at first. While holding a towel over my bottom she encouraged me not to scream, but instead push towards my bum. I recall hearing that the baby’s head was coming down and kept pushing with each contraction. I think I felt the head come out as the pressure eased but I had to push his whole body out. I had had enough. I pushed longer than the contractions at some point which probably caused the two minor tears (no stitches needed).

After 30 minutes of pushing, our baby boy finally entered this world exclaiming loudly his arrival.

He was laid on my chest, skin to skin and we rested while we waited for the placenta. At some point during that the second midwife arrived. I recall Neil was there the whole time, encouraging me and supporting me, making me drink water to stay hydrated and giving me his hands to squeeze HARD!!!! I am so glad and grateful that Neil was there to support me and encourage me through it. I can’t imagine what it was like for him to watch me go through the birthing process and not be able to fix it for me. Finally over 120 hours after my waters broke and 36 hours of on-and-off contractions, we had our baby boy laying on me, skin-to-skin and I had relief! Neil holding me while I held our son. It was a beautiful moment just lying there having cuddles. It wasn’t the birth or labour that I envisioned but I had my homebirth!!! Even when it was tough and I wanted to tell them to take me to the hospital to get it out, I am so glad that I stayed home and made the decisions I did and experienced the birth that we did. I feel a sense of achievement and empowerment having been through a homebirth and I am very proud of myself. The human body, especially the female body, is capable of marvellous things when you let it. Our son was born Saturday 18 December 2013, two weeks before his estimated due date but right on time. We love him and welcome him into our family.

7 Lombard Street, Palmerston North

06 358 2400

Photo courtesy of Kim Sargent 12












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A DAD’S LIFE broken by me. I trust what I’m doing, even when I don’t really know, because that’s what parenting is all about. Making it up as you go along. I’m not a big fan of reading how to be a parent, nor following any one person’s advice on how it should be done. What works one day might not the next. Something that you thought would never work suddenly begins working. It’s all about trying different things and staying calm while you’re doing it. I do scan through our ‘What to expect the first year’ book and I have found myself flicking through ‘Treasures’ magazine and of course the ‘Palmy Parent’ magazine. But experience counts and I know that it’s all about phases with our baby. Nothing lasts forever – whatever is happening will eventually pass, soon.

REFLECTIONS By Bede Gilmore Becoming a father for the third time, 20 years after my first child was born, has put me in quite a unique place to reflect on what it means to me to be a Dad. I knew ahead of this birth what to expect as far as unexpected outcomes might be concerned around the birth of our baby.

Nothing prepares you though for the almost overwhelming feeling of love you feel the instant you lay eyes on your new baby. I knew it would be emotional. I knew it would be amazing and I knew what to do. It all came back to me. Changing nappies. Talking with her. Holding her. Comforting. All those things – like riding a bike. I did wonder if, being an older Dad, that I might have changed. That I might not have the patience or the energy levels. I’ve found I have plenty of both. In fact, I’m much more patient. I feel more assured about what I’m doing. After all, the other two children haven’t been


If I had one piece of advice for new Dads, especially first time Dads, is to make sure you enjoy every phase. They’ll pass before you know it. When I was 21 and had my son, I think I was in too much of a hurry for the next thing to happen. “Won’t it be great when he can roll over”, or “It’ll be great when he can talk”, or “We’ll be able to do some cool stuff when he can walk.” I’m not sure if all new parents think like that, but looking back I wish I’d just enjoyed “the now” more. I’m certainly making sure of that this time around. It all goes so fast. Enjoy the now. Even the cuddles you give to a crying baby in the middle of the night. You’ll want it back one day when they no longer need that cuddle. Perhaps my love of being Dad is coming through. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s the most selfless thing you do in your life – becoming a parent. It’s made me a better person and a better role model. I think that’s the part I enjoy most. Seeing how my kids have grown up, the values they have and the passion they have for what they do. (I’m talking about Master 20 and Miss 17 here, little Miss six months is still developing her passions!) I’m amazed at what my wife has done over the past six months or so and what she continues to do on a daily basis. Our little girl is growing and developing and changing so fast. Having our baby is a new part to our relationship. It’s our first together and we’re learning new things about each other. Good things. We’re enjoying long walks as a family and watching our baby develop. It’s amazing. Each little step and development is so cool to see. It’s the evidence of your parenting isn’t it, that you’re doing your jobs in caring for your baby. I hope all the new Dads are enjoying it as much as me.


FATHERLY ADVICE Congratulations, you’re going to be a Dad! We know that men sometimes find talking to each other about this sort of stuff difficult so we asked a few Dads about their experiences of fatherhood. So whether you’re scared out of your mind about fatherhood (read: you’re not alone) or just here to learn some new tips, read on.




Is being a Dad what you expected so far?

Is being a Dad what you expected so far?

Is being a Dad what you expected so far?

What? I’m a Dad? He looks nothing like me.

Father’s Day. Our son Liam.

No it’s not. Its better and worse than I expected; better because I really enjoy being with my little one whenever I’m home and worse because I need and really enjoy my sleep.

Have your feelings for your partner changed?

What’s the best thing about being a Dad?

What’s the best thing about being a Dad?

Yes. She went through a hell of a lot to have our baby. Respect.

What’s the one bit of advice you’d give to expectant Dads? It’s not too late to go and buy some milk.

Anything else?

Be flexible, plans change.

Poo filled nappies! Sounds slightly odd I know but if I were in a poo-caked nappy I would love to have someone get it off me and put me in a fresh one.

Have your feelings for your partner changed?

Yes they have, because our time together is more precious I get more excited to be around her even if we’re just on the couch doing nothing.

What’s the one bit of advice you’d give to expectant Dads?

Sleep now while you have the chance. Don’t expect to fix everything. Remember the check list - burp, bum, tum. If all are good and the noisy hole is still open then go for a walk. Hugs help Mum and baby. Do the dishes now and again. Last but not least have fun!

Yes, it’s awesome. Raising a baby isn’t easy and you face challenges on a daily basis. Learning how to adapt to the situation and the ‘new’ lifestyle is important so you can work together as a team to be the best parents possible.

What’s the best thing about being a Dad?

Watching our son grow and develop everyday. It’s also really special when they start recognising who you are and the smiles, which just get bigger and bigger.

Have your feelings for your partner changed?

I believe we have grown stronger as a couple. I have a huge amount of respect for her after watching her endure pregnancy and labour. Seeing my wife with our newborn son for the first time was a moment I will never forget.

What’s the one bit of advice you’d give to expectant Dads?

Everything is trial and error with a baby so just go with it and try not to sweat the small stuff. Things can be hard at times, especially when sleep deprivation kicks in but things do get easier as the little one gets older and once you’ve adjusted to the new lifestyle.



VOLUNTEERS NEEDED Did you know that Parents Centre is a not-for-profit, volunteer-run organisation?

Membership fees help with the costs of our childbirth education classes and other activities, however the running of our Centre is ALL done by a team of fantastic Mums and Dads who generously volunteer their time for a good cause. If you have a few hours to spare each month and would like to join our great team, we would LOVE to hear from you!

Events/Fundraising Coordinator •

Are you good at organising activities and people?

Do you like making events run smoothly?

Join our team and put your skills to use coordinating our major fundraising events including our parenting event/s, photo fundraisers, annual quiz/poker night and garage sale. Plans and teams are already in place for our major events—all we need is someone at the helm to ensure our activities run smoothly.

Centre Administrator (shared role)

Be part of the team that helps out with general administration tasks including responding to enrolment and other enquiries for our Centre. This role can be done from home or from our Centre on Waldegrave Street and takes only 1-2 hours a week. Children are welcome at the Centre! Full training and support provided.


Responsible for managing our Centre finances, paying invoices, monthly financial reporting and budgeting. Approximately 2 hours a week. Would suit someone with finance, banking or financial administration experience.

Membership Officer

Our Membership Officer is responsible for managing our membership database and related processes including: •

Updating the membership database with new member information (weekly)

Checking payments for new memberships and updating class enrolment lists (weekly)

Archiving expired members (bi-monthly)

Providing relevant membership lists to other committee members (as needed)

Time required: Approximately 6-8 hours per month

Move to Music Hostesses

We need a couple of extra people to help out at the Centre on a Tuesday morning to greet people when they arrive for our popular Move to Music classes. It only takes 20 minutes and would be a huge help to our committee! To find out more, please contact Jess on 06 327 6666 or Robyn on 027 4848 521 or email

READERS’ SURVEY Thank you to everyone who completed our online readers’ survey. We were pleased with the number of responses and the feedback provided. The feedback tells us that our readers like to read articles about pregnancy and post natal health, feature articles, family friendly outings and developmental play ideas; want to read more about baby health and development, toddler health and development, product reviews, preparing for school and recipes; the design needs to be freshened up; and that readers prefer to receive the Palmy Parent in the mail. Congratulations to RENEE BARBOUR and PENELOPE PARKER who have both won a free Palmerston North Parents Centre membership! Hopefully you’ve noticed that the Palmy Parent has a fresh new design. This is due to the feedback we received; we hope you like it!





PEA PODS I only own one Pea Pod pocket nappy and, while pregnant, I accidentally bought a size 18 month to 3 years. I thought at that age I would probably not get to use it so, for a while, it sat in the back of the drawer unused. As my nappy collection grew I decided to give it a go. I have found regardless, of the size, it fitted my six month old fine and he is not big. I wonder if they are small sized, although they seem to look rather bulky underneath clothing. The pea pod nappy is super easy to use and only requires stuffing with the bamboo booster pad with which I have never noticed any leakages, BUT it takes a very long time to dry, even in the dryer. I don’t like how the domes are not able to be resized; this is a problem for us as my son has a skinny waist. I have also noticed the waterproof lining inside the pocket is beginning to peel away and seems to be getting worse each time I ‘stuff’; not really acceptable considering the price!


The Babyco cloth nappies come with two microfibre inserts and are definitely reasonable in price at just $8.99 each from the Baby Factory. There are a few cute patterns available as well as plain colours. The multiple domes are easily resized for use right from newborn. I love how easy these nappies are to use! I stuff the nappies with inserts and have them all ready to go in the drawer, so it’s no more difficult than using disposables. Babyco nappies are easy and fast to wash, dry and prepare. Just recently I have found my nappies leaking at times from the inner thigh as the insert squeezes together. This could be due to domes being done too tight; resizing may solve this problem. The majority of the time we have been using these nappies, we have had no leakages and only use one insert.

BAMBINO MIOSOLO The Miosolo is my favourite cloth nappy to date. The all in one feature makes for super simple use even for Dad! I have found my husband complaining about domes on other nappies being “too small for his fingers” or just too many domes to work out which goes where, but this nappy is so simple with the easy to fit, Velcro closure. It is definitely the closest to a disposable we have used. The inside fabric is so soft on baby’s skin and the insert is made from microfibre, which is quick-drying and super absorbent. The insert is attached to the outer shell and features a pocket on the bottom to help easily stuff the nappy, as well as a tab to help remove the soiled insert. The only ‘negative’ I can think of for the Miosolo is that it doesn’t come in a variety of cool colours or patterns! This is my go-to nappy when leaving the house as I know it won’t leak or leave marks on my little man’s legs.

REAL NAPPIES The word “pre-fold” scared me in the beginning but once I gave these nappies a go, I have found they are so easy to use! The real nappies come with two pre-fold inserts and one waterproof cover. I like to use the original pre-fold cloth nappies inside and the easyto-use Velcro cover over the top. After some experimenting, I have found that folding the nappy around the child first and securing with a snappi works better than just using the nappy as a liner. I only have one waterproof cover, but am able to use this at least two-three times, changing only nappy inserts before it becomes wet. We have never had a leakage using Real Nappies apart from when we haven’t tucked the insert into the waterproof cover properly! The only con I can come up with is it is a little bulkier than other reusables and sometimes requires larger trousers and body suits.



WHAT’S ON IN OUR REGION Fun for the Family Sunday 3 August

Manawatu Model Toy Collectors Fair – at Community Leisure Centre from 11am-2pm

Tuesday 5 August 2014

Nappy Lady Workshop – Palmerston North Central Library, 5:30pm-7:30pm

Saturday 9 August

2014 Manawatu Turbos launch - The Plaza, 1pm-3pm

Sunday 10 August

Manawatu Striders Half Marathon – starting from Massey University. Half Marathon, 5k & 10k courses. First event starts 8.30am

Saturday 16 August

Garage Sale: Preggy to Pre-School – at Central Baptist Church from 8.30am-12 noon

Saturday 16 August

Feilding High School Evento Wearable Art Awards – at Manfeild Park Stadium from 7pm-10.30pm

Sunday 24 August

Manawatu Turbos vs Auckland – at FMG Stadium. Kick off at 2.35pm

Wednesday 3 September

Manawatu Turbos vs Bay of Plenty – at FMG Stadium at 7.35pm kick off

Friday 5 to Saturday 20 September

The Phantom of the Opera – at Regent on Broadway, 7.30pm

Saturday 6 September

Plant and Fun Fair - St Matthews Church, 9.30am-12.30pm

Saturday 6 September

Big Concert for a Little Instrument - Palmy Ukulele Festival - , Globe Theatre, 7.30pm

Tuesday 19 August

Baby Sign Language. Learn NZ baby sign language basics and how to communicate with your pre-verbal bub.

Tuesday 26 August

Play Ideas for Different Ages and Stages. Join Pauline Allen from Brainwave Trust for a great discussion on brain development through your little one’s ages and stages.

Tuesday 2 September

Manawatu Turbos vs Counties Manukau FMG Stadium, 2.35pm kick off

Baby Footprints - Make a Baby Footprint Painting & Get Sorted! Family Budgeting that Works! Make a baby foot print painting to take home on the day.

Saturday 20 & Sunday 21 September

Tuesday 9 September

Sunday 7 September

Feilding Festival of Cycling – at Lytton St School. Saturday from 1pm, Sunday from 7.00am

Plunket Seminars Tuesday 5 August

Is it Time for Baby Food? Introducing Solids. Advice from our Community Karitane on signs of readiness, solids, sleep and the importance of breast milk or formula.

Tuesday 12 August

First Aid for Babies and Toddlers. Learn vital Baby & Toddler CPR, including emergency advice on Cuts, Choking, Burns and Drowning.

Baby Massage. Free massage oil and bottle. Bring a towel.

Tuesday 16 September

First Aid for Babies and Toddlers.

Tuesday 23 September

When to call the Doctor. Not sure – learn to look for the signs.

Tuesday 30 September

Is it Time for Baby Food? Introducing Solids . Seminars are FREE to all and held at the Plunket Family Centre, Albert Street from 10am-12 noon unless otherwise advised. To register for a Seminar, email or phone 357 4844.

T & M Parr




It’s nearly time for those of us that experience hayfever to get ready for what can be the toughest time of the year and, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, you may think there aren’t any options for relief. I didn’t discover any safe alternatives until breastfeeding my second child and couldn’t believe I had suffered so long unnecessarily; so don’t do the same thing! The usual treatment involves the use of antihistamines and steroids, however, these treatments are not recommended for use during pregnancy or breastfeeding by the manufacturers or health professionals. There is uncertainty about the effects these drugs can have on developing babies, especially during the whole first trimester, and late in the third trimester there are risks of central nervous system and respiratory depression. For breastfeeding Mums, antihistamines can have a sedating effect on the baby, cause irritability and also reduce milk supply. There are a few things you can do to reduce your

exposure to environmental allergens, such as: • • • • • •

keeping windows closed on windy days staying indoors at times when the pollen count is highest (morning and evening) wet dusting the house regularly vacuuming using a cleaner with a HEPA filter keeping pets out of living areas removing shoes at the door/porch and changing clothes once you come inside after being outside for a while.

In terms of treatment, for $12 you can get Hayfever Co, a homeopathic combination of mixed pollens and grasses, sabadilla, euphrasia and allium cepa, which I found really helpful for sneezing and nasal congestion. It can be purchased from Simillimum Homeopathic Pharmacy Online or over the phone. In conjunction with these pilules, I used Weleda Euphrasia eye drops for really itchy burning eyes. The actual dropper itself is not very user friendly, but the drops themselves provided huge relief and can be purchased from health shops, pharmacies and online.




THE PIGEON NEEDS A BATH! By Kate Robinson Author: Mo Williams

After finally caving to the fact he is stinky and needs a soak in the tub he runs the bath before coming up with all the excuses in the world to avoid getting in.

“The water is too hot, too deep, too cold...” What a cool, quirky book! The story follows a cheeky pigeon as he tries to avoid having a bath...

“I don’t really need a bath...I had one last month!”

He finally jumps in, which is when his tune completely changes – he ends up having an absolute ball playing and splashing about, so much so he wants to stay in forever!

bold words and illustrations that remind me of something kids would draw – bold outlined pictures with loads of character. Author and illustrator, Mo Williams, was a writer and animator on Sesame Street which makes sense as to why he’s done such a good job of including the reader in this story. ‘The Pigeon Needs a Bath’ is available from Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George Street for $18.99.

The book is a good giggle and I imagine it would be great to read to kids who are not too keen on baths too – it shows how fun bath time can be! It is an uncomplicated read with big

BOOK GIVEAWAY BE IN TO WIN THIS ISSUE’S REVIEWED BOOK! The children’s book reviewed above has been generously donated by Bruce McKenzie Booksellers on George Street, Palmerston North to give away to a lucky Parents Centre Member. To enter the draw to win this issue’s book email your name, membership number and the title of the book to Entries for the next draw must be received by Friday 5 September 2014. The winner’s name will be printed in the next issue of the Palmy Parent and the book will be posted to you.

CONGRATULATIONS Pia Bradshaw You have won last issue’s book: Boats by Catherine Foreman

Bruce McKenzie’s Booksellers is situated in George Street beside the entrance to the Palmerston North Library. Bruce McKenzie’s carries an enormous range of books from children’s to specialist non-fiction and is definitely worth a visit. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask the staff who are always willing to help.





you can ALWAYS choose to control yourself and how you respond. Your response to your child will either exacerbate the storm or calm it.

Have a strong-willed child? You’re lucky! Strong willed children can be a challenge to parent when they’re young, but, if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens and young adults. Self-motivated and inner-directed, they go after what they want and are almost impervious to peer pressure. As long as parents resist the impulse to ‘break their will,’ strong-willed kids often become leaders. What exactly is a strong-willed or spirited child? Some parents call them “difficult” or “stubborn,” but we could also see strong-willed kids as people of integrity who aren’t easily swayed from their own viewpoints. Strong-willed kids want to learn things for themselves rather than accepting what others accept, so they test the limits over and over. They want desperately to be ‘in charge’ of themselves, and will sometimes put their desire to ‘be right’ above everything else. When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears. Often strong-willed kids are prone to power-struggles with their parents. However, it takes two to have a power struggle. You don’t have to attend every argument to which you’re invited! If you can take a deep breath when your buttons get pushed and remind yourself that you can let your child save face and still get what you want, you can learn to sidestep those power struggles. You can’t control your child, but

Parents who pay attention can avoid power struggles, even with strong-willed kids, by empathising as they set limits, giving choices and understanding that respect goes both ways. Looking for win/win solutions and understanding their perspective, rather than just laying down the law, keeps strong-willed children from becoming explosive and teaches them essential skills of negotiation and compromise. Strong-willed kids aren’t just being difficult. They feel their integrity is compromised if they’re forced to submit to another person’s will. If they’re allowed to choose, they love to cooperate. If this bothers you because you think obedience is an important quality, I’d ask you to reconsider. Of course you want to raise a responsible, considerate, cooperative child who does the right thing, even when it’s hard. But that doesn’t imply obedience. That implies doing the right thing because the child WANTS to. As H.L. Mencken famously observed, “morality is doing what’s right, no matter what you’re told. Obedience is doing what you’re told, no matter what’s right.” So of course you want your child to do what you say. But not because she’s obedient, meaning that she always does what someone in authority tells her to do. After all, that someone in authority might be a mean girl in the 8th grade, or a high school coach who makes a habit of molesting kids. No, you want her to do what you say because she trusts YOU; because she’s learned that even though you can’t always say yes to what she wants, you have her best interests at heart. You want to raise a child who has self-discipline, takes responsibility and is considerate — and, most important, has the discernment to figure out who to trust and when to be influenced by someone else. That discernment only comes when kids are taught to think for themselves, rather than simply obeying authority. Breaking a child’s will leaves him open to the influence of others who often will not serve him. What’s more, it’s a



betrayal of the spiritual contract we make as parents. But that said, strong-willed kids can be quite a handful -- high energy, challenging, persistent. Even the most dedicated parent can feel pushed to the edge. How can we protect the strong-willed child’s fabulous qualities and at the same time encourage their cooperation?

Tips for Positive Parenting Your Strong-Willed, Spirited Child 1. AVOID POWER STRUGGLES BY USING ROUTINES AND RULES. That way you aren’t bossing them around, it’s just that “The rule is we use the potty after every meal and snack,” or “The schedule is that lights-out is at 8pm. If you hurry, we’ll have time for two books”, or “In our house, we finish homework before screen time”. The parent stops being the bad guy. 2. REMEMBER THAT STRONG-WILLED KIDS ARE EXPERIENTIAL LEARNERS. That means they have to see for themselves if the stove is hot. So unless you’re worried about serious injury, it’s more effective to let them learn through experience, instead of trying to control them. And you can expect your strong-willed child to test your limits repeatedly--that’s how he learns. Once you know that, it’s easier to stay calm, which avoids wear and tear on your relationship--and your nerves. 3. YOUR STRONG-WILLED CHILD WANTS MASTERY MORE THAN ANYTHING. Let her take charge of as many of her own activities as possible. Don’t nag at her to brush her teeth; ask “What else do you need to do before we leave?” If she looks blank, tick off the short list: “Every morning we eat, brush teeth, use the toilet and pack the backpack. I saw you pack your backpack, that’s terrific! Now, what do you still need to do before we leave?” Kids who feel more independent and in charge of themselves will have less need to be oppositional. 4. GIVE YOUR STRONG-WILLED CHILD CHOICES. If you give orders, he will almost certainly bristle. If you offer a choice, he feels like the master of


his own destiny. Of course, only offer choices you can live with and don’t let yourself get resentful by handing away your power. If going to the store is non-negotiable and he wants to keep playing, an appropriate choice is: “Do you want to leave now or in ten minutes? Okay, ten minutes with no fuss? Let’s shake on it... And since it could be hard to stop playing in ten minutes, how can I help you then?”. 5. GIVE HER AUTHORITY OVER HER OWN BODY. “I hear that you don’t want to wear your jacket today. I think it’s cold and I am definitely wearing a jacket. Of course, you are in charge of your own body, as long as you stay safe and healthy, so you get to decide whether to wear a jacket. But I’m afraid that you will be cold once we are outside, and I won’t want to come back to the house. How about I put your jacket in the backpack, and then we’ll have it if you change your mind?” She’s not going to get pneumonia, unless you push her into it by acting like you’ve won if she asks for the jacket. And once she won’t lose face by wearing her jacket, she’ll be begging for it once she gets cold. It’s just hard for her to imagine feeling cold when she’s so warm right now in the house and a jacket seems like such a hassle. She’s sure she’s right -- her own body is telling her so -- so naturally she resists you. You don’t want to undermine that self-confidence, just teach her that there’s no shame in letting new information change her mind. 6. DON’T PUSH HIM INTO OPPOSING YOU. Force always creates ‘push-back’ -- with humans of all ages. If you take a hard and fast position, you can easily push your child into defying you, just to prove a point. You’ll know when it’s a power struggle and you’re invested in winning. Just stop, take a breath, and remind yourself that winning a battle with your child always sets you up to lose what’s most important: the relationship. When in doubt say “Ok, you can decide this for yourself”. If he can’t, then say what part of it he can decide, or find another way for him to meet his need for autonomy without compromising his health or safety.


7. SIDE-STEP POWER STRUGGLES BY LETTING YOUR CHILD SAVE FACE. You don’t have to prove you’re right. You can, and should, set reasonable expectations and enforce them. But under no circumstances should you try to break your child’s will or force him to acquiesce to your views. He has to do what you want, but he’s allowed to have his own opinions and feelings about it. 8. LISTEN TO HER. You, as the adult, might reasonably presume you know best. But your strong-willed child has a strong will partly as a result of her integrity. She has a viewpoint that is making her hold fast to her position, and she is trying to protect something that seems important to her. Only by listening calmly to her and reflecting her words will you come to understand what’s making her oppose you. A non-judgemental “I hear that you don’t want to take a bath. Can you tell me more about why?” might just elicit the information that she’s afraid she’ll go down the drain, like Alice in the song. It may not seem like a good reason to you, but she has a reason. And you won’t find it out if you get into a clash and order her into the tub.

because they want to please us. The more you fight with and punish your child, the more you undermine her desire to please you. If she’s upset, help her express her hurt, fear or disappointment, so they evaporate. Then she’ll be ready to listen to you when you remind her that in your house, everyone speaks kindly to each other. 11. OFFER HIM RESPECT AND EMPATHY. Most strong-willed children are fighting for respect. If you offer it to them, they don’t need to fight to protect their position. And, like the rest of us, it helps a lot if they feel understood. If you see his point of view and think he’s wrong -- for instance, he wants to wear the superman cape to church and you think that’s inappropriate -- you can still offer him empathy and meet him part way while you set the limit. Sourced from: positive-discipline/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child To find out more about putting positive parenting to work with your strong willed child see: positive-discipline/use-positive-discipline

9. SEE IT FROM HIS POINT OF VIEW. For instance, he may be angry because you promised to wash his superman cape and then forgot. To you, he is being stubborn. To him, he is justifiably upset and you are being hypocritical, because he is not allowed to break his promises to you, but you broke yours to him. How do you clear this up and move on? You apologise profusely for breaking your promise, you reassure him that you try very hard to keep your promises, and you go, together, to wash the cape. You might even teach him how to wash his own clothes! Just consider how you would want to be treated and treat him accordingly. 10. DISCIPLINE THROUGH THE RELATIONSHIP, NEVER THROUGH PUNISHMENT. Kids don’t learn when they’re in the middle of a fight. Like all of us, that’s when adrenaline is pumping and learning shuts off. Kids behave




SECONDARY INFERTILITY By Mary Birdsall, Fertility Associates

When your first baby is conceived with ease, it can be heartbreaking when you can’t fall pregnant a second time around. Secondary infertility is more common than primary infertility and sadly affects one in six couples in New Zealand. Secondary infertility is medically defined as ‘difficulty conceiving in couples who have conceived previously.’ Primary infertility is when a pregnancy has never occurred before and affects one in eight couples. The heartache of secondary infertility affects couples in many ways - guilt experienced by one or both partners as to why they are suddenly ‘infertile’, the strong desire to provide a sibling for an existing child, the sense of not having a complete family, and dealing with those wellmeaning family members and friends who unhelpfully comment ‘at least you have one child!’ So, what causes secondary infertility and who is most at risk? While statistically secondary infertility is more common than primary infertility, the contributing factors are very similar for both. Age becomes more of an issue in secondary infertility as both male and female fertility drops off with increasing age. For a normally fertile couple at age 30, they have a 20% chance of becoming pregnant each month. By 35, the chance reduces to 16% and by age 40, 6%. What this means is that the later you start your family, the higher the risk you will be unable to conceive a second, or subsequent, baby.

Chances of conceiving per month relative to a woman’s age Age


















Weight may also play a role in reducing fertility, particularly in women who retain unwanted postpregnancy weight or who have a Body Mass Index (BMI) over 25. Male infertility is also affected by increasing weight.


Occasionally, birth events may contribute to infertility, such as infection post-caesarean causing tubal damage or curette for retained products as this may damage the endometrium. Fortunately, both of these are very uncommon events with today’s modern medicine practice.

When to seek help For most couples, the ideal time to seek help from your GP or a fertility specialist is between six and 12 months of trying unsuccessfully to conceive. Exceptions to this may include when a woman doesn’t have a regular menstrual cycle, in which case it is recommended to visit your doctor earlier. Some couples seek help with fertility following sterilising procedures, such as a vasectomy or a tubal ligation. It is best to speak with a fertility specialist to discuss whether a reversal or IVF is the best option.

Improving your fertility For women, it is important to have a normal BMI (20 to 25). Also, minimise alcohol and caffeine intake, avoid smoking or being around those who do smoke and take 0.8mg of folic acid daily. For men, opt for wearing boxers rather than briefs as these help keep the testes cool. Avoid hot baths and spas and keep laptops off your lap. Also, avoid smoking as this is detrimental to sperm, as is consuming more than 20 units of alcohol per week. Boost the number of antioxidants in your diet as this may improve sperm quality as well as help fight the effects of stress and toxins in the body. Foods high in antioxidants include berries, tomatoes, dark chocolate and nuts. Remember, although secondary infertility is common, it also carries an excellent prognosis. The most important thing to remember is not to wait too long before considering another baby and, if you do have trouble conceiving, seek specialist help early. If you have any questions about your fertility, contact Fertility Associates and book in for a FREE nurse consult to work through your options. Visit for details. Sourced from:



By Rachel O’Connor

With a child each from previous relationships, a wedding coming up, and both of us slap-bang in the middle of our thirties, we thought it was time to complete our family with a baby. It took three months of trying to get pregnant (which is a pretty average timeframe) and we were over the moon! And then a week later the nightmare began.

So after two ectopic pregnancies and not keen to endure another, we decided to meet with Fertility Associates to see what our options were. Unfortunately, we didn’t qualify for public funding as we both had a child each from previous relationships. But, thanks to our wonderful family, we were able to self-fund a round of IVF.

Cramping and spotting forced a visit to the doctor who confirmed the pregnancy but low hCG levels. The long (and emotionally and physically challenging) story short – it was an ectopic pregnancy. The less invasive treatment of methotrexate (a chemotherapy drug) didn’t work and three weeks after I found out I was pregnant, I was having surgery to remove one of my fallopian tubes with the embryo inside.

Seven eggs collected, five fertilised, one fresh transfer, one frozen transfer and... no pregnancy. We were devastated but not defeated. We continued to try on our own, but the months ticked by without success.

So that was the first round of disappointment and anguish. The doctors told us we could try again as I still had one good tube and they’d had a look around while I was in surgery and everything seemed okay. A few months later and I was pregnant again – great news! This time I contacted my GP straight away and they booked me in to have a scan to see where the pregnancy was. At four weeks it was too early to see anything. However, ten days after finding out I was pregnant, it was confirmed to be another ectopic. We were devastated. This time the methotrexate worked and I was ‘un-pregnant’ by Christmas.

Six months later we spoke to the bank and extended the mortgage to fund another round of IVF. I did everything I could to get myself ship-shape: no caffeine, alcohol or sugar; taking folic acid and probiotics daily; and exercising. I also had regular acupuncture. This time nine eggs were collected, five fertilised, one fresh transfer, two in the freezer and the result… pregnant! We needed reassurance that the pregnancy wasn’t tubal, so had a few early scans to determine it’s location. Thankfully, our little bubstar was exactly where it should be. After a normal pregnancy, we welcomed Lucas into our family in January this year, nearly three years after we started on the journey to complete our family.





KOWHAI PARK by Jo-Anne Wilson Kowhai Park is located on South Street, Feilding with plenty of parking on the road or inside the park. To the left of the cricket fields there is a playground suitable for children of all ages. If your child is crawling and standing and very mobile they can travel up the ramps and steps. Once they are up and running they will love this area – there are small ladders and slides, ramps and a tunnel. My son is two-and-a-half and plays on this area still, as well as the big ladder, rope ladder and big slide. The older children (say up to 10-12 years) have monkey bars, a flying fox, a climbing wall and sliding pole. There is one solitary babies/toddlers swing, but for the older kids there is also the swingset and roundabout. On the other side of the cricket fields there is a rose garden, small lake, aviary, small bushwalk, picnic tables and another playground. There are lots of ducks here, they are very friendly and non-offensive and we save up our bread to take to feed to them. We like to feed the ducks, take a walk around the pond, over the bridge and rocks and around the bush area to come out at a second playground. This playground is more suited for the big kids - it has four swings, a very tall slide, a large round swingset and the ‘old-fashioned’ see-saws (ie., no springs – you need to use


your legs!). Kowhai Park is the biggest playground in Feilding and is well utilised by the local children and parents; we usually find some other children there to play with. There is also a bushwalk – which I haven’t done yet. As since we’ve moved here, I’ve been pregnant and haven’t had the energy!

There are new, clean toilet facilities, a bbq area and plenty of room to sit and have a picnic in the summer. It is mostly fenced and safe, allowing you to relax and watch them play; but your children will still require supervision around the pond and access to the street and carparks. My boy is a bit of a run-away, so I keep my eye on him at all times. We usually go to this park once a week, rugging up warm, but my son loves the run around. We have to see the ducks, walk around the pond and play at both playgrounds! Highlights: Feeding the ducks, and my son loves the playground. Disappointing points: The playground is a bit old and worn in some parts and could do with an upgrade, but the kids don’t mind.


FOCAL POINT by Saritta Burney and Fritha Dods Focal Point is a café that has seen JJ (my son) and I from a baby to his current 17 months. When he was a baby and I was sleep deprived and looking for coffee and a cake they delivered on both. I would sit and breastfeed in comfort; no one looked twice and I didn’t feel self-conscious at all. The coffee was always good, they catered to my needs and if they got it wrong they were quick to replace the order and the baking was divine. They are a friendly and professional bunch of staff. As JJ has grown older and become more mobile we have made use of the highchairs that mount to the chairs at the tables and the toys in both parts of the café. The staff are friendly and understanding and don’t bat an eyelid when JJ rushes around the place. Focal Point is a great place to catch up with other Mummies and again the staff don’t bat an eyelid when the kids make a mess (you know the kind of mess that only toddlers eating can make). JJ’s little friend loves the fluffies that they make especially for children and there is always something for the children to eat in the cabinets. The menu food is delicious, from their open steak sammie (my partners fave!!) and for the ladies, a crunchy Cajun chicken salad or beef salad with a tonne of blue cheese, mmmm my mouth is watering thinking about this!! As well as having a daily menu, there is a specials board which

often has a yummy soup and desserts on. If it’s coffee and cake you’re looking for, well go no further than the cabinet food; a decadent arrange of slices and cakes awaits you! My favourite are the caramel bites perfect for a small bite with a coffee! Oh, and if you’re really lucky to be there at night without children you must try the salmon – perfectly cooked and amazing price! Focal Point is great for a general catch up with friends, but what’s really great is you can book any cinema for a private viewing of a movie with your little ones. The little cinema can be hired by antenatal coffee groups for $80 for up to 16 people during weekdays. Focal Point now has blockbuster movies too so you can watch the new releases in the comfort of a big arm chair with enough room for your little one to be snuggled beside you and not have to worry about other patrons. The only thing lacking is the presence of a change table which is disappointing given how child friendly the rest of the set-up is. However this down side, does not outweigh the good points. Focal Point is open seven days a week. Details of movie sessions, opening hours and menu details can be found on their website:




GETTING FIT AFTER BABY By Clare Scott Getting back into shape after having a baby is on most mothers’ to-do list, but how do you do that, and when do you start? It can seem like an uphill battle when getting some rest and taking care of your family take priority. It’s important to remember not to push yourself too hard too soon. Pregnancy and childbirth are a major workout themselves and you need time to recover. It is advisable to wait at least six weeks, and possibly even longer depending on how you feel, before starting to work out after baby is born. Light walking, however, is great during this time, as it helps to improve your mood and heal your body. There is one thing you should do straight away after baby is born—pelvic floor exercises. Pelvic floor exercises, also known as Kegels, are a contraction of the muscle that acts as a hammock or sling holding up your bowels, uterus and bladder. Pregnancy and birth weaken these muscles and they need a lot of retraining. Within hours after baby is born, you can start gentle squeezing of your pelvic floor. You may not even feel any contraction, but the more often you do it, the faster you’ll get your strength back.

A strong pelvic floor is not only important to stop bladder leakage (which is more common than we like to admit), it is the foundational first step to all other postnatal exercises. According to the New Zealand Continence Association, one in three women who have ever had a baby report some degree of urinary incontinence. Without a strong core and pelvic floor (and they are connected), you risk injuring yourself and further weakening your muscles by doing exercises that may have been fine for you prior to having your baby. It’s not uncommon for women to be over-enthusiastic to get back in shape, particularly if they were very active before their pregnancies. Your body has just gone through the ultimate challenge and it can feel like you have to start from scratch. However, slow and steady wins the race. If you decide to sign up for a fitness program, ask to make sure it’s suitable for postnatal women.



Start by squeezing like you are trying to stop a wee. Focus on tightening and lifting your whole pelvic floor without tensing any other muscles. Start by holding for one second. As you get stronger, work your way up to being able to hold for 10 seconds. Release slowly, feeling the muscles completely relax. Try to breathe normally. Contract and release 10 times, rest and do another set. It’s good to think of Kegels as any exercise you would do. Your pelvic floor is a muscle and needs exercise to get strong again. “Don’t use it, you lose it” applies here too!

• • • • • •

Instead of a coffee date, go for a brisk walk instead with a friend. Have a cuppa after! Move at home when you can. Try to make it a habit to get a minute of exercise here and there. March in place while waiting for the porridge to finish cooking. Do push-ups against the bench as your tea steeps. Do side leg lifts on the floor as you play with bubs. Do gentle squats while cradling baby, focusing on squeezing your pelvic floor with each squat. Join a post-natal safe fitness programme

Clare Scott is a REPS registered personal trainer who has been living in New Zealand with her husband and 2 active kids, Jacob (3) and Chiara (1), for 3 years. Clare is passionate about helping pre- and post-natal Mums feel healthy, active and fit. She runs a regular walking group on a Friday at 10:00am at the Esplanade, all welcome!  She also runs Mum and Baby fitness programmes on Mondays and Wednesdays.  To find out more about Clare or sign up for fitness programmes see or on Facebook ‘Clare Scott Fitness’.



WINTER FUN By Barnardos KidStart amongst the leaves. To start with, some of the kids

Activities for young children can be challenging were reluctant to throw the leaves about and play in during dark and drizzly winter days, but there them, but they must have enjoyed it, as when we were are still plenty of opportunities to help young out at the library later they noticed a pile of leaves children learn, play and grow during this time. and went straight for them – throwing them in the air, Margaret McGrail has been a Barnardos KidStart kicking them, rolling in them and piling them on top of themselves, having a great time. Childcare Home-based Educator for 20 years and in that time she’s picked up some great tips. “In the winter, when it is really frosty and icy, we leave Here, she shares some of her winter favourites. a bucket of water outside so it freezes, and then we “Usually when it’s raining the children want to go out and when it’s sunny they want to stay in! They’re always keen to play outside in the winter weather and bring their warm jackets and gumboots so we can get out and about. “I find the local park is really interesting in winter and there’s so much for the children to discover once they start looking – different trees, leaves, seed pods, and more. A favourite thing for the children to do is play

smash the block of ice. It’s really fun and the children are always fascinated! “When the weather is really cold, you can head outside for short bursts and then back indoors to warm up – I think it’s important for children to remain active. For outdoor fun close to home, we get out onto the concrete and do chalk drawings, and make chalk car tracks for the children to ride their bikes on.”




The Class of 29 October 2013 share their thoughts on their first three months as parents and some recommendations for great toys for babies, their favourite websites and some advice for new parents. The first night of antenatal class nerves were soon put at ease, as the first night was filled with many laughs (it helped when one of the males’ waters broke during the middle of class). Over the coming weeks, we looked forward to getting to know each other. Once class ended we planned our first ‘coffee group’ date. We were able to enjoy a couple of ‘ladies of leisure’ dates. Over the next seven weeks life was suddenly very busy for us. Our group grew to three boys and six girls, who now range from four months to almost six months old. As we all started to find our feet as new Mums we started to feel confident to get out so we put together a weekly roster where we have been rotating around our homes. We have a Facebook group where we share ideas, ask for advice and vent! It has allowed us to chat at 2am in the morning when you feel like no one else is awake. We have just shared our first family outing by having a Sunday brunch. Over the course of four hours we enjoyed catching up as most of the Dad’s hadn’t seen each other since class. Our group is like family; we share so many moments that only these ladies get. Here we share some thoughts... Out of ALL the advice you were given, what is the best advice you would pass onto others? •

Take it all ONE day at a time – each day will be completely different to yesterday and tomorrow.

What moment, did you get excited about the most, that you would not have ever thought you would? •

Poos! Totally excited about poos! When your bubba does the right one at the right stage. Knowing that if something is coming out, then something must have been going in.

My baby falling asleep on my chest. It is overwhelming how beautiful they are and that you have been part of creating such a miracle.

It is the simple things - I remember going out as a family to town for the first time and we survived!

What is the best thing about your coffee group? •

Everyone has their own way of doing things which

Embrace every moment, even the challenging ones.

works for them. Having this group has made my

Time goes too fast and you never get those moments

journey as a Mum so happy and memorable.

back. •

Coffee group brunch date

If I am ever unsure, they have the answers. They are

Be flexible. Nothing ever goes the way you will expect

understanding, able to listen to any issues or worries

it to and you need to be prepared for anything.

and don’t judge.

Cherish the small moments you have with your baby,

The amazing friendships I have made. These women

as they will pass before your eyes and you can’t get

feel like family. They have made the journey into

them back.

motherhood extra special.

Relax and listen to your baby.

STOP READING - just enjoy your baby and do what YOU think is right.

We all get on and respect each other - we talk about everything and anything.

The girls! It’s an unreal bond having babies at the same time and is unlike any friendship I have ever had.



Kidicorp for happy, confident learners! 4 Safe, caring learning environments,

with quality equipment 4 Qualified teachers who help children reach milestones 4 Enrol early, limited spaces at some centres 4 Part time and full time places available 4 Affordable fees and 20 ECE hours 4 WINZ subsidies available Visit one of our centres ABC Palmerston North 14 Russell Street, Ph: 354 0941 ABC Hokowhitu 224-226 Park Road, Hokowhitu, Ph: 354 9994 First Steps Palmerston North 21 Ngata Street, Ph: 354 7907 First Steps Railway Road 1 El Prado Drive, Milson, (behind Leisureplex Centre) Ph: 356 2516 ABC Foxton Beach 12 Carthew Terrace, Ph: 363 6626 For more information phone 0800 KIDICORP or visit








POKER NIGHT Palmerston North Parents Centre would like to say a big“THANK YOU !!” to all the local businesses that supported our Poker Night on Saturday 28 June 2014. The event was very successful and we couldn’t have done it without you! Thanks to our major sponsors:

Thanks to all the other businesses that supported us with items to give to our winners, spot prizes and for our charity auction.

Hair & Beauty



Mirror Magic

‘self-portrait’ Competition Mirror, mirror on the wall who draws the best ‘selfie’ of them all?

YOU DO! Monthly Prize Draws

$2pp - under 2s free 9 June to 12 october OPEN DAILY

10am - 5pm

ph 06 355 5000

Discovery Time

Weekends: 10.30am-3pm Explore the worlds of history, science, and art. Educational fun for the whole family. Free activities for all ages.


10am - 5pm

ph 06 355 5000





Author: Lawrence J. Cohen, P.H.D We often take parenting so seriously and, although it is a serious business, in ‘Playful Parenting’ we are given a way to tackle the hard stuff through play. This book has helped me understand my children (and workmates) better and given me lots of ways to make ‘discipline’ fun. Cohen has given me techniques to guide my kids behaviour in ways that bring us closer together. My kids went through this stage of always having to be first. It drove me insane! I tried a playful approach and within days getting in the carseats became fun and we began to head off to work and daycare in happy moods instead of mad and frustrated. Lawrence Cohen is a psychologist specialising in children’s play, play therapy and parenting. He also leads Playful Parenting Workshops. Perhaps most importantly he’s a Dad so really gets that this parenting thing is hard work. “Through play we join kids in their world – and help them to: •

Express and understand complex emotions

• • •

Break through shyness, anger, fear Play their way through sibling rivalry Cooperate without power struggles. “

Playful Parenting is based on the latest research around how brains work and develop and better still he explains it in a way that actually makes sense. I think this is a must read for all parents; it will certainly appeal to those who recognise that parenting is first and foremost about relationships with our children and those who want to help their children grow into adults who can cope with those ups and downs that life brings.

I think Dad’s would particularly enjoy Cohen’s easy-to-read, down-toearth writing. Cohen has a relaxed, enjoyable style of writing and the book is filled with examples. I particularly enjoyed his humour and honesty – parenting is hard, it challenges all of us. It does have quite a lot of words with little in the way of text boxes or diagrams to break it up which can be off-putting for some people. I think however, once you get started his great writing style more than makes up for this.

Anna Dahlkamp & Andrew Clare





Continued on from the June/July issue. A year of parenting ‘baby steps’ to create real, lasting transformation in your journey to gentle parenting. Step 7: Playing Follow the Leader Play is the language of childhood and through play we get to know and connect with our children on their turf, in their native language and on their terms. It’s a powerful moment in a parent’s life when they suddenly see their sweet little one as a separate, intelligent, human being who can plan, make decisions, snap out orders and lead others on a journey through an imaginary rainforest or through outer space.

Step 5: The Reading Connection One of the best ways to stay connected with our children is to build time into each day to invest in them and one of the best investments is in a love of reading. A love of reading is born on the lap of a parent, in the soothing cadence of a parent’s voice reading the same beloved story night after night and in the comfortable rustle of well-worn pages being turned one after another after another. A quiet bedtime routine that includes a night-time story will not only help bedtime to be happier and smoother, but will also incorporate vital time for you to reconnect with your children at the end of every day.

Step 6: Co-operation Instead of Opposition In any home, boundaries are necessary for everyone’s safety and comfort. With gentle parenting, setting limits focuses on connection and empathetic communication rather than control and punitive consequences. Try setting limits using gentle parenting by turning your ‘no’s’ into ‘yes’s’. Instead of “No, you can’t have ice cream until after dinner”, try “I know you love ice cream. I do, too! We’re getting ready to eat right now, but what flavour would you like after dinner?”. This invites cooperation instead of triggering opposition, another hallmark of gentle parenting!

Take on the role of follower in your child’s land of makebelieve and you’ll discover a whole new world in which your child is strong, confident and capable. You’ll come away with a deeper connection with and appreciation for the person, not just the child.

Step 8: Fuel Their Mind Food not only fuel’s your child’s engine but enriches their mind. Good nutrition and gentle parenting may not seem to go hand-in-hand but studies have shown that many behaviour issues and sleep problems have their root in unhealthy eating habits, nutrient-poor diets and food additives. The introduction of new/healthy foods can be a challenge. Try making eating healthy a fun family project instead of a food fight. Let your children help you make menus, shop for the fresh ingredients and help you prepare and cook meals. For younger children even pointing and naming fruit and vegetables you are buying introduces them to a wider variety of foods. If they feel like a part of the change instead of a victim of it, they’re far more likely to cooperate. If you have picky eaters, serve them the same foods you normally do, just with a few added healthy ingredients slipped in to make them healthier.

Step 9: Find Your Funny Bone Often the best parenting advice is simply ‘Chill out! Relax! Laugh a little’. Sometimes as parents we get so



caught up in ‘fixing’ our children that all we see are problems. We start focusing so much on preparing our children for their future that we forget to let them live in the present. One of the main problems with that is that children are creatures of the ‘now,’ living fully immersed in each present moment.

child and makes them feel validated. Don’t be falsely enthusiastic; thank them when they remember to do things without being told or choose to share their favourite toy with you. Let them know you think their artwork is beautiful and how wonderful they are when they first manage to use a spoon themselves.

So we must make the most of every moment. Think back to your youth and find stories, rhymes and childhood games that kept you in stitches when you were a child.

Step 12: Celebrate!

Remember to laugh every day with your child. You’ll be amazed at how a good belly laugh can turn even the worst day into something a little easier to handle and how much a giggle-fest can heal the little rifts that tend to occur in the parent/child connection throughout each day.

Step 10: Share an Interest A shared project or interest can offer a real chance to get to know your child on an entirely new level. If your baby loves crawling under and over things, set up a crawling course which you can do with them. Show them how to navigate over cushions so they can do it themselves next time. If your toddler loves playing with blocks, get some pictures of different block towers and help your child build them.

Don’t forget to celebrate the steps you are taking working toward your goal of becoming a gentle parent. Congratulate yourself for all that you are accomplishing along the way. Don’t focus on your mistakes. Simply learn from them, forgive yourself and move forward. Everything you invest in your children is worthwhile and everything you’ll invest in the coming years will build on the foundation you’ve begun. Getting to know and enjoy your children as individuals, intentionally focusing on building and maintaining a strong and healthy parent/child connection and living what you want your children to learn are the bedrocks of gentle parenting. Walking through these steps, revisiting them when you find yourself struggling and appreciating the incredible, miraculous gifts that each individual child brings into the world will keep you growing as a gentle parent day after day, month after month, year after year. Live. Laugh. Love. Enjoy! Read more about gentle parenting from L.R.Knost online at

Your role as a gentle parent is supportive, finding materials, showing them how and then letting them attempt themselves. Offer suggestions and help when they struggle. Watch them blossom as they learn and build and grow. Simply being there through the process will enrich your connection with your child and offer you valuable insights into their interests and learning style, which will provide tools for you to use when they are older.

Step 11: Appreciation is Inspiring Teaching our children to be grateful involves far more than simply telling them to say, “Thank you”. We all want to be appreciated, and children are no different. Since not being appreciated is an unmet need, an unpraised child may to seek to fill that need with attention seeking behaviour. By openly appreciating and praising our children, telling them what we like about them and thanking them for the things they do, gentle parenting inspires a grateful



NEWBORNS AND CHIROPRACTIC CARE Our goal at Chiropractic House is to enable newborns, children, adults and the elderly to reach their optimal health and well being, by providing the highest possible standard and quality of Chiropractic health care. We believe the best time to see a Chiropractor is as a newborn baby, as the earliest challenge a growing spine faces is the position it is forced to adopt in utero. Many women will have heard of foetal positions which can cause problems with the labour (brow, breech, transverse, posterior etc), but what is less well known is that these can also cause problems in the baby’s spine. Spinal bones can be pushed out of place (subluxated) or jammed by the position of the baby in the womb. The second challenge many babies face is the road down the birth canal and out into the world can be a trying one, particularly in the case of medical intervention. Even the “normal” birth process with the pushing stage of labour may cause misalignments (subluxations) in the newborn’s spine, as the baby is compressed and pushed down the birth canal. A subluxation (a.k.a. Vertebral Subluxation) is when one or more of the bones of the spine (vertebrae) move out of position and create pressure on, or irritate delicate spinal nerves. Spinal nerves travel out from the spinal cord to the rest of the body, relaying vital information from the brain to every cell, tissue, organ, muscle, and gland of the body via the nervous system. Every function in the body and all the body’s senses are totally dependant on the nervous system. When the nerve energy flows without any blockages (subluxations), the body and brain are in tune and able to function at 100% of their innate abilities. In simple terms, subluxation means the body is unable to work properly, normally leading to poor health. The cause of many newborn health complaints such as colic, reflux, breastfeeding difficulties, sleep disturbances, allergic reactions and chronic infections can often be traced to irritation to the nervous system caused by these spinal and cranial misalignments (subluxations). Chiropractors are the only professionals who undergo years of training to be the experts at correcting subluxations. It is the responsibility of the Doctor of Chiropractic to locate subluxations, and reduce or correct them. The first thing that most parents feel when they think of chiropractic for babies is— fear: “Can Chiropractic be dangerous for my baby?” Chiropractic is a safe, non-invasive, natural health care that has been used on newborns for more than a 100 years. Chiropractic treatment is ‘tailored’ to every individual and their particular spine, and newborns are no exception. Spinal adjustments for newborns and young children involve very light fingertip pressure, pressure comparable to the amount of pressure you could press on your closed eyelid without any discomfort. All babies deserve the best chance at a healthy, happy, subluxation-free life. All babies deserve Chiropractic health.

32 Victoria Ave, Palmerston North

Ph: 359 4888

Chiropractic Exam and Consultation (Normally a $45 charge)

Phone: 3594 888 32 Victoria Ave, Palmerston Nth

Chiropractic Exam and Consultation (Normally a $45 charge)

Phone: 3594 888 32 Victoria Ave, Palmerston Nth




THE NEW ARRIVAL by Renee Murphy

The arrival of our first baby Connor (nearly three years ago) was very exciting. Adjusting to life as brand new parents was challenging. When we found out I was pregnant with baby number two, we wanted to prepare Connor as best we could for the big changes that were about to unfold in his life. He was going to go from being the centre of attention to sharing the limelight with a sibling whether he liked it or not and we wanted to make it a positive experience for him. When my tummy began to expand we started to talk to Connor and explain that there was a baby in my tummy and that he was going to have a little brother or sister. Bedtime stories provided a great opportunity to talk to him about the upcoming changes. We read books such as: • • •

‘There’s a House in Mummy’s Tummy’ ‘What’s In Your Tummy Mummy?’ ‘I’m a Big Brother’

The aim was to help him understand his new role in the family and help him realise that big brothers are important. Connor came along to the 20 week scan with us where we learnt that we were having another boy. From that point on, we referred to his little brother as ‘Beavis’ – not his real name. A few weeks before Flynn was due, I took Connor to Kmart and asked him to choose a present to give to his brother when he arrived. He chose a musical toy. We also made a card for Flynn welcoming him to the world.

had bought for him. With my husband Dave off work for two weeks, Connor had lots of fun and extra attention as well as many treats. I was able to focus on Flynn’s needs while Dave was in charge of Connor which was a fantastic help. Once Dave headed back to work the honeymoon period was over and some of the realities of parenting two young boys presented themselves. Three months in to my role as a mother of two and my multitasking skills are constantly put to the test as I try to balance the needs of a new baby and a toilet training toddler (not to mention my own coffee and shopping needs). I’m still trying to work out how it is that Connor needs to go to the toilet as soon as I sit down to feed and my milk lets down. Poor little Flynn receives frequent milk showers. From time-to-time Connor also has to be reminded to be gentle and give his little brother some space. We’ve made it a priority for Connor to spend one-on-one time with each of us and remind him that he is still very much loved. He has become a real Dad’s boy over the last few weeks and on the weekends they go out and do active things like swimming and bike rides. Despite the challenges, I feel very lucky to have two lovely boys. It’s clear that Connor and Flynn already have a special brotherly bond. We look forward to watching them grow up and get into mischief together in the years to come.

When Connor came up to the hospital to meet Flynn (formerly known as Beavis) for the first time it was pretty special to watch.

This was the moment he had been waiting for. It must have seemed like an eternity to him! He was quietly proud to meet his baby brother and was pretty stoked with the Thomas the Tank Engine toy Flynn


Connor and Flynn’s first cuddle



TRIPLE CHOCOLATE BROWNIE This is a super easy and scrumptious recipe that you just have to try. But be warned: THEY ARE VERY MOREISH AND THIS RECIPE MAKES A BIG BATCH! Ingredients


• • • • • • • • • • •

1. 2. 3.

320g butter, melted 1 1/4 cups cocoa 7 eggs 3 cups sugar 1 tsp vanilla essence 1/2 cup white chocolate chips 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips 1 1/4 cups plain flour 1 tsp baking powder Frozen/fresh raspberries (optional) Icing sugar (optional)

4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

Preheat oven to 160C. Line a large baking tin/roasting dish. Melt the butter in a large bowl (there’s lots of ingredients to fit in here) in the microwave, or in a large saucepan on the stove. Using an electric mixer, beat cocoa into melted butter. Add eggs, sugar and vanilla, and beat with electric mixer for three-four minutes until the mixture begins to whip up in volume (about double). Using a wooden spoon/rubber spatula, mix in the chocolate chips/drops. Sift flour and baking powder in; stir until fully combined. Pour into lined baking tin; give it a gentle shake to even out the mixture. If using raspberries, dot these evenly on top of the mixture, gently pushing them just under the surface. Bake in oven at 160C for about one hour, until an inserted skewer comes clean. Leave to cool in tin for about 10 mins, then turn out onto a wire rack to cool further. If you want to make them look extra fancy, sift icing sugar over the top. Enjoy warm, cold, with some whipped cream, with some hot coffee or even with a sneaky wine!

Give your child the best start! 75% of our planet is water! Can you swim?

• • • • • •







Three and four-year-olds are full of wonder and spend a great deal of their time exploring, observing and imitating. It’s also a time of change for your child: they will enjoy making their own choices, slowly becoming more independent; communicate more easily; and ask lots of ‘why’ questions to learn more about the world around them. With warm support from those closest to them, three and four-yearolds will take this period of transition in their stride. As you talk and play with them you will help them learn many skills that will enable them to engage more confidently with the more formal learning experiences they will experience later on. The activities below are not just great fun, they will also help your three or four-year-old learn skills and concepts that will prepare them well for school.

Activity: Water holes How it works

Get some large plastic bottles or tins (coffee tins work well) and punch holes in the side using a hammer and nail. For one of the containers try making holes on different sides at the same height; in another, try holes at different heights one above the other. Once your holes are made, ask your child to fill the container up with water and watch what happens as the water comes out the holes.


Playing with water encourages the development of many different skills such as coordination, concentration and perception. Your child will also learn about important maths concepts such as how items can be full or empty.

Activity: Shake painting How it works

This activity can get pretty messy so you might like to do it outside and dress your child in old clothes! Fill some kitchen/spice shakers up with different colours of powdered paint (you can get this at art supply stores), making sure that the holes are big enough so the paint can come out easily. Next use a paint brush to dampen a piece of paper with water and then encourage your child to vigorously shake the paint over the paper. This paint reacts with the water and makes some amazing patterns.


Colours are one of the most distinctive parts of the world around us and this activity is great for helping three and four-year-olds learn about different colours and how they mix together to form new ones.


Remember, this is all about having fun and letting your child enjoy the process; try to let them get mucky and stretch their creative legs!

Activity: What animal am I? How it works

So simple but so much fun! Ask your three or four-year-old to imitate the movement and sounds of different types of animals. If your child hasn’t experienced how different animals move you might like to combine this activity with a trip to the zoo. Otherwise, there are plenty of videos online to help guide them.


This activity helps encourage your child to move and learn what’s possible with the different parts of their body. It also helps with their knowledge of the wondrous animals that exist on our planet.

Activity: Colour viewers How it works

Take different coloured pieces of card and cut different shapes out from the centre of each one. Next, take bits of cellophane the same colour as each piece of card and attach them so they cover the holes to make different viewers. Now place the cut-out shapes on a white surface and ask your child to look at them through the different viewers. Each viewer will change what your child sees, with shapes disappearing when they’re the same colour as the cellophane.


This activity will help your child learn about light, colour and shapes. It will appeal to their natural sense of curiosity about how the world works. Who knows, it might even inspire them to delve further into the world of science later on! With over 40 years’ experience in providing childcare for New Zealand families, Barnardos KidStart Childcare are experts in helping foster development. If you would like to learn more about Barnardos KidStart Childcare options, give us a call on 0800 KIDSTART or visit our website at


PREGNANCY AND POSTNATAL YOGA CLASSES Are you pregnant or have recently had a baby? Come along to Palmerston North Parents Centre’s pregnancy and Mum-and-baby yoga classes with instructor Inez Schmidt. Yoga Instructor: Inez Schmidt Photo by Vanesa Lei-Broad

Pregnancy Yoga

Mum-and-Baby Postnatal Yoga


Thursdays at 5.15pm during term time


Fridays at 11am during term time


Parents Centre, 30 Waldegrave St


Parents Centre, 30 Waldegrave St

Instructor: Inez Schmidt

Instructor: Inez Schmidt

Term cost: PNPC Members $48 (6 week term) Non-Members $60

Term cost: PNPC Members $48 (6 week term) Non-Members $60

Please bring cash.

Please bring cash. Children welcome!

Plunket Car Seat Services now offer Retail as well as Hireage Services. Free advice and installation of your car seat by a qualified Car Seat Technician.

As an infant is usually only in a capsule for 6 months or more, it may be a better option to hire an infant seat than to spend money purchasing one. The money may be better invested in the next size seat which will be used for a longer.!/pages/Plunket-Manawatu-Wanganui-Car-Seat-Service/259773444100945

PALMERSTON NORTH PLUNKET 229 Cuba St, Phone: 06 358 6862 Monday to Friday 10.00am – 2.00pm Saturday 10.00am – 12.00pm FEILDING PLUNKET 32 Stafford Street Phone 06 323 4518 Tuesday 4.30pm – 5.30pm CAUTION: NOT ALL CHILD RESTRAINTS FIT ALL VEHICLES. TRY FITTING THE RESTRAINT IN YOUR VEHICLE BEFORE YOU BUY OR HIRE IT TO SEE IF IT FITS CORRECTLY. ISSUE 261: AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2014


FATHER’S DAY Father’s Day is a special day to recognise and celebrate the role fathers play in our lives. Father’s Day is worldwide embraced celebration. Like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day is a day for children to acknowledge the love and support their father provides them. Dating back to the early 1900s, Father’s Day was partly inspired by the unofficial Mother’s Day services which began in 1908. These Mother’s Day services prompted many people to arrange similar services to recognise fathers. Most countries follow the United States tradition and celebrate Father’s Day on the third Sunday in June, however New Zealand and Australia celebrate on the first Sunday in September.

WHY MY DAD IS AWESOME We asked why your kids thought their Dad was awesome. Check out the responses.

Zoe (3)

He gives me cuddles... and yoghurt... and s rocket ship

Connor (2 )

He tak es me to the Lid o

Scarlett (4 )

3) Amon (

unny he’s f Coz y! aught and n

When w e go to b ed he g me kiss ives es and c u ddles and we read a book an sometim d es we w atch th Simpson e s.

Like us on Facebook to contribute your thoughts on various products, top tips and advice.

HIRE A TENS MACHINE Hire a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS) machine to help reduce your pain during labour and childbirth.

Palmerston North Parents Centre (PNPC) has three TENS machines available for hire by our members for ONLY $10 for up to four weeks’ hireage (plus a $50.00 refundable bond). Machines can be booked for the two weeks prior to your due date until two weeks post due date. Watch a video interview with a TENS machine expert at

Book your TENS Machine from: BABY BEGINNINGS, George St, Phone 06 355 5773 (Lending Coordinator), Shop hours: Mon-Fri, 10.00am-5.00pm; Saturday, 10.00am-4.00pm. Please pay by cash and bring your PNPC Membership card. Full terms and conditions on our Facebook page:



MOVE TO MUSIC with Lynsey Taylor, Occupational Therapist BSc (Hons)

Encourage purposeful movement in a fun, creative way Wonkee Donkees (Toddlers 18 months +) Tuesday, 9.30 am—10 am Creepy Crawlies (8 months +) Tuesday, 10.30 am—11 am Slippery Slugs (0-8 months) Tuesday, 11.30 am—12 pm

Parents Centre Members: Casual rate $3; Term rate $20 ($2 per class) paid in advance Non-members: Casual rate $4; Term rate $30 ($3 per class) paid in advance Venue: Palmerston North Parents Centre, 30 Waldegrave Street

TERM 3: Tues 22 July — Tues 23 September TERM 4: 14 October — 16 December For more information or enrolments, contact Lynsey Taylor on 027 4873678 or e-mail or contact Parents Centre on



COMMUNITY SUPPORT GROUPS Across Te Kotahitanga O Te Wairua We can provide a range of social services which include: Counselling • Family support (including respite care for children) • Parenting advice/information and programmes • Advice on other services available for parents and families. Contact: Graeme on (06) 356 7486 or visit Allergy New Zealand Support groups are a great way to meet others in a similar situation to you. They are very relaxed, informal sessions to share ideas, discuss your concerns and get information and resources. Our regional support group is there to help put you in contact with others, to provide you with information such as those all important recipes and to listen when you need someone to talk to. They are not medically qualified but can refer your queries on and seek information on your behalf. For further information phone 0800 34 0800 or visit Brain Injury Association Central Districts We provide advocacy information and support for people with brain injury, their families, whanau and carers. For more information call (06) 354 3540. Breastfeeding Help An IBCLC (often called lactation consultant) is a breastfeeding specialist qualified to prevent, recognise and resolve breastfeeding problems. All members of NZCLA hold the professional qualification of International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Any mother, family member or health professional interested in obtaining the contact details of an IBCLC can phone 0800 4 LACTATION (0800 452 282) during daytime hours. Breastfeeding Drop In Centre Do you have problems with breastfeeding or have questions about feeding your baby? Our Qualified Lactation Consultant is here to help you on your breastfeeding journey and offer information and support. We are open on Mondays 1pm — 3pm, at Community Birth Services, Level 2, Westside Chambers, 151 The Square. Phone: 06 354-6455. A warm welcome awaits you. HOPE An opportunity for parents of premature babies to meet and chat and to offer hope and support to those who currently have babies in the Neo-Natal Unit. Graduates welcome. Held at: Plunket Family Centre, 42 Albert Street, Palmerston North. Monday 1pm – 2.30pm. Contact: Karlyn Sullivan-Jones (06) 353 0663 or Itchy Kids A national support group for parents and whanau who care for children with eczema and allergies. For more information contact Sarah Hartley 027 333 7385 or email or visit La Leche League If you are wanting to meet some other great Mums for breastfeeding, parenting support and information, the La Leche League can help. We are located at St. David’s Church Presbyterian Church on the corner of Main and Rainsforth Streets. For more information please phone (06) 356 7990 or visit Manawatu Toy Library This fabulous toy library lends out toys to families. There is a wide variety of toys for both indoor and outdoor play. Membership costs $85 per annum or $55 per half year for families. For more information please phone (06) 356 7383. Manawatu Down Syndrome Association Regional contact is Andrea Wales (06) 356 1767.


Manawatu Home Birth Association Offering information, advice and support to women and their families seeking to birth their babies at home. Birth pools and other equipment available for hire. Library, sibling kits and bimonthly newsletters also available. Call (06) 356 BABY (06 356 2229) for more information. Manline Men’s support group (06) 358 1211. Manawatu Father and Child Trust Subscribe to Father & Child magazine for $10 per annum (that’s a 33% discount to PNPC members). Cheques should be payable to ‘Father and Child Trust’, Freepost 106040, PO Box 26040, Christchurch. Visit for more information. Miscarriage Support Miscarriage can be a very lonely experience and is often not talked about. Miscarriage support groups have produced quality information and pamphlets for women/couples who may need information and support. These invaluable resources can be downloaded from Methodist Social Services Offering free programmes for primary/intermediate aged children and their parents/caregivers, around the areas of anger management, grief loss and change, and confidence building. We also offer family, couple, and individual counselling, and have both male and female counsellors available. Advocacy and social work support services are provided along with an emergency food service. For all enquiries, please call 06 350 0307, 663 Main Street, Palmerston North. Parent to Parent Supporting families of children with a special need, health impairment or disability. For more information please phone (06) 355 0787or email Parentline 24 Hour Crisis Line Offering help and support for parents 24 hours a day. Phone 0800 4 FAMILY. Plunket Education Services For parent education classes please contact the Plunket family centre in Albert Street, Palmerston North, (06) 356 7248 for more information regarding classes in 2014. Relationship Services We offer resources and programmes related to ‘Parenting through Separation’ and ‘It’s not Okay’ (children affected by violence). For information please phone (06) 357 6486 or visit Reflux Support — Contact: Sharon 354 7280 Sands A voluntary group who have lost babies before, during or after birth. They can provide first hand support, guidance and information on miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death. Further information and support can be found by contacting Shaun and Gaylene Vivian (06) 356 9715 or visiting Supergrans Manawatu Charitable Trust Supergrans Manawatu is all about helping people help themselves. A service to all to brush up on the basic skills needed to provide for oneself or for a family. Our motto is not a ‘do it for you today’ it is a ‘help you to do it tomorrow’ concept. This is a free service. It is concerned with encouraging better skills in those everyday tasks around the home that sustain life. We work with you in your own home. Phone (06) 354 3804 or 021 0669 442 for further information.


MEMBER DISCOUNTS Use your Parents Centre Membership Card at these shops and show them your support as well as getting a wonderful discount.

10% OFF

YOUR BUSINESS HERE For more details email

Coleman Mall, Palmerston North Ph: 06 357 1976


10% OFF

168 Albert Street, Palmerston North Ph: 06 357 8782


10% OFF


15% OFF

Email: for more information

TV aerial/satellite installer

10% OFF

All current PNPC members receive 10% off labour only Call Now for a FREE Quote Robert Torok Ph: 06 354 5664 or 027 294 3972

YOUR BUSINESS HERE For more details email

15% OFF 32A The Square, Palmerston North P 351 6322 F 351 6323

Kim Sargent Photography

10% OFF

Photography packages only The Photography Studio, 155 The Square, Level 1, Palmerston North Ph: 021 408 838


15% OFF

Link Arcade, Broadway Avenue Palmerston North Ph: 06 358 1309

$10 OFF

All current PNPC members receive $10 off, offer cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer. Sharlene Adkins (t) 06 355 4939 (e) (m) 021 185 2064.


$10 OFF

Present this coupon and receive $10 off a framed sculpture. Ph: Katte 06 329 3262 or visit



PLAYGROUPS IN YOUR AREA Play Groups Address Phone Hours Plunket Karitane Family Centre Plunket Over 30s Coffee Group

42 Albert Street 42 Albert Street

356 7248 356 7428

Fri 9:30am to 11:30am 10.30am to 12pm  

Ashhurst Playcentre Awapuni/Westend Kingston St Chapel

118 Standford Street

326 9270

Mon to Thurs 9am to 12pm

Kingston St

358 0716

Tues & Thurs 9am to 11:30am

Crossroads Early Childhood Salvation Army Rudolf Steiner Seventh Day Adventist Church

220 Church St cnr Church & Princess Sts 187 Ruahine St 257 Ferguson St

358 0669 358 7455 354 4514

Mon to Fri 9am to 12noon Thurs 9:30am to 11am Tues 9:30am to 12noon, Thurs 2pm to 3:30pm Wed 9:30 to 11:00am

Plunket Feilding Playcentre Northend Playcentre Doodlebugs SPACE Bright Sparks Preschool Programme

116 Derby St (Lifepoint Church) 254A Kimbolton Rd 42 North St Knox Hall, North St 22 Bowen St Feilding Library

323 4518 323 6100 323 7439 323 7240 323 7221 323 5373

Thurs 9:30am to 11am Mon, Tues, Wed & Fri 9am to 12noon Mon, Tues & Thurs 9am to 12noon Thurs 9am to 11:30am Contact for more details Wed 10:30am to 11:30am

Te Aroha Noa Community Services

12-32 Brentwood Ave

358 2255

Fri 8:30am to 12noon

Mums & Bubs (0-18 months) St Albans Church Park Road Playcentre

27 Franklin Ave 339 Albert St Huia St extn

358 8351 357 9411 357 0791

Mon 10:30am to 12 noon Wed 9:30am to 10:30am Mon, Tues, Thurs & Fri 9am to 12noon

Kairanga Playgroup

Kairanga Community Hall

Wed 9:00am to 11am

Linton Playgroup

Linton Camp (Community Centre)


Mon & Wed 9am to 11:30am

Milson Playcentre

1a Seaforth Ave

356 9824

Mon, Wed & Fri 9am-12noon

Opiki Playgroup

St Andrews Church, Main Road

Tues 10am to 12noon

Kelvin Grove Salvation Army Church on Vogel

99-103 Kaimanawa St 127 Vogel St

Wed 9:30am to 11:30am Wed 9:30am to 12noon




Highbury Hokowhitu

Kairanga Linton



Roslyn/Kelvin Grove


353 0917 357 7336

Te Kawau Playcentre Medway St 324 8246

Mon to Thurs 9:15am to 12:15pm, Fri 11:45am to 2:45pm

Sanson Playcentre

2 Philipps St

329 3503

Tues and Fri 9am to 12noon

St David‘s Presbyterian Church Terrace End Playcentre

Cnr Main & Rainforth 77 Ruamahanga Cres

358 3246 356 9341

Tues 10:00am to 11:30am Mon, Tues, Wed, Fri 9am to 12noon

355 3104 357 9773 355 0787 355 0787 0800 693 724

Contact for more details Every 2nd Wed,10am 1st and 3rd Tues each month, 1-3pm 1st & 3rd Wed each month, 9:30-11:30am Once a month on Thurs 10am to 12noon


Terrace End

Specialist Groups La Leche League Manawatu Multiple Birth Club Kingston St Church Parent 2 Parent Special Needs Matipo St ASD/Development Delay Plunket Centre, 42 Albert St ABCD early intervention group 9 Woburn Place - Down Syndrome French for Preschoolers 1st floor, 47 the Square Spanish Class – 2 yrs and up Contact for further details Plunket Bhutanese Playgroup 25 Franklin Ave Nurtured Babies: Naturally Matariki Rudolf Steiner Kindergarten


021 207 0114 Fri 3.30pm to 4.30pm 355 8257 3574844 Mon 12.30 – 2.30pm See Facebook for details


MEMBERSHIP FORM Join for one year and you’ll receive...

Membership Incentives (see the discount page for more details)

Studio 31 – 10%

Stork to Chalk – 10%

Grant Irvine Pharmacy – 10%

The Baby Factory – 25% (discount Saturdays as advised only)

and you.

Nothing Negative –15% off packages

A variety of retail discounts.

Six issues a year of ‘Palmy Parent’, our local magazine.

Kim Sargent Photography – 10% off photography package

Six issues a year of Kiwi Parent magazine.

Precious Memories – $10 off a framed sculpture

The chance to be involved with the running of the centre.

Smallprint – $10 off any purchase

Reduced rate to attend Move to Music

Hair Transformer – 15%

Bethany’s Restaurant and Café—15%

Membership with Palmerston North Parents Centre offers you:

Coffee groups that help you and your family build

friendships that will offer support for years ahead. •

Free/discounted entry to seminars that focus on baby

Discounts on presentation of membership card

Please complete the details below, enclose your payment (cheques should be made out to PN Parents Centre) or for internet banking: Westpac Bank 03 0726 0486708 00 using the word ‘MEM’ and your full name as the reference. Mail the form to: ‘Membership’, PN Parents Centre, PO Box 1753, Palmerston North. Any queries please contact: (06) 358 4289.

Your details

Partner’s details



First name Surname

First name Surname

Date of birth: ____/____/____

Date of birth: ____/____/____





Baby’s due date: ____/____/____ Lead Maternity Carer:_______________________________________

Child(ren)’s details First name



Birth date













Your contact details Mailing address: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Street address (if different from above):___________________________________________________________________________________ Telephone: Home: __________________________

Work: __________________________ Mobile:_____________________________

Home email address:__________________________________________________________________________________________________ Please note, email address will be added to the PNPC directory for email notices and offers. You can be removed from the mailing list at any time, so if you don’t want to hear from us in the future, simply reply to the email with ‘unsubscribe’ in the subject line.

How did you hear about Parents Centre?___________________________________________________________________________________ If you have any special needs or learning requirements please make yourself known so we can endeavour to assist

Membership/Subscription I’d like to start / renew a membership to Palmerston North Parents Centre (please circle)

€€ €€ €€ €€ €€ €€ €€

1 year membership and Childbirth Course (includes copy of Tummy Talk magazine) $210.00 1 year membership and Childbirth Course with Community Services Card $170.00. Card number:__________________ 1 year membership only $80.00 1 year membership with Community Services Card $55.00. Card number:__________________ 2 year membership $145.00 1 year Kiwi Parent only $30.00 2 year Kiwi Parent only $60.00




Please return any undelivered magazines to: Palmerston North Parents Centre, PO Box 1753, Palmerston North, 4440 Ph 06 358 4289 PALMY PARENT: PALMERSTON NORTH PARENTS CENTRE MAGAZINE

Palmy Parent, Aug/Sep 2014 (issue 261)  

Palmerston North Parents Centre Magazine

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