[Wish] You Were Here Paige Resendiz
As of today, my father has been married three times. He is currently living with his second ex-wife while still being married to his third wife. My family is so different, but to others, seems so normal. My mom constantly brings up the past, good and bad, and my dad also dwells on past events regarding his wives, my brothers and I. As much as my family has been torn apart, put together, and torn apart again, I would not be able to walk away and see something bad happen to either my mom or my dad. It’s difficult to be there for a parent that has tried so hard not to lie to you, but has still managed to have done so throughout your entire life. I was always told tall tales of what had supposedly happened between my family members. Growing up with this ”he said she said” style of story telling, I developed a warped perspective of each of my family members. I see this cycle continuing today with my stepfamily. Even with everything out and in the open I do not feel betrayed but thankful, for my family and it’s complicated history.
“I know I have made mistakes, but I’m trying to make everything better for my kids. But now I realize that that’s not even working. I don’t want my kids to make the same mistakes that I have.” -Luis
“My divorce was final with Cyndi. Russ, Greg, Kathy and myself moved to a further location, but the landlord had told us that she didn’t want children from a different mother to be living with my girlfriend because she didn’t want problems.”
“Now that I look back on it, I realized why Kathy was mad and how I wasn’t there for the kids and her.”
“There was one time when my mother first met Patty, she told me “this woman will do anything she can to make you end up with her”.’
â€œWhen I was six years old, my father came up and asked me who I would want to live with. I said I wanted to live with him. For a long time I regretted saying that I would move in with my father.â€?
â€œIf there was anything to change, I would have said I wanted to live with my mother. I spent many years angry at myself for that.â€?
“I think having Kathy constantly angry with me and not really seeing my mother added to a depression. I didn’t have control over my emotions. By the time I was in eighth grade, I was having to see counselors and psychologists.”
“Everything that happened helped to build what I think is a unique sense of character that I have now. It has made me who I am. I can’t say my past has made me a better person, but it made me who I am not.”
“The visitations became these ‘mini-vacations’ from the strict household that my step-mother was keeping.”
â€œNow, I believe that this back-and-forth business between these two different lifestyles has had an effect on my own. I understand the values of keeping a clean and organized house, but at the same time it is important to realize that the cleanliness of the household itself is not what makes it a Home.â€?
â€œHaving my own key was something I wanted for years living with Kathy, but for one reason or another I never got one.â€?
â€œWhen I finally got a key to the apartment with my father, it was too temporary to enjoy and the front door was unlocked most of the time anyway.â€?
â€œMy mom was the one that pretty much taught me how be the way that I am today. Looking back on my childhood now, I now see my mom a little differently than I did than. Than I thought as my mom as my mom, she was the one that fed me, bought me clothes, took me places, made sure I took a shower on a daily basis, etc. Now I look back and see one of the strongest women that I have ever known.â€?
“My relationship with my mom has changed a little bit. I don’t get to see her as much, but she allows me to be as independent as I can be and lets me make my own decisions for myself. I would like to see my mom more and be a little closer like I once was, but things are the way they are and we make the best of them.”
â€œHonestly when I was younger I didnâ€™t really think about the concept of marriage. I think that my concept of it changed after my parents were divorced. I guess that I saw it as two people being together and having a family, and that they would always be there for that family and they would be together forever.â€?
â€œNow I see marriage as two people having a commitment to each other and always finding ways to make a common ground with each other through the good and bad times.â€?
â€œI always tried to fit in, basically anywhere I went, including home. I had always tried to be with someone at all times. I never wanted to be alone. I stuck to Matthew a lot since we were so in close in age and went to the same school with one another. I was basically his shadow.â€?
â€œWhen Matt became interested in girls, it was a problem I was always with him. I even remember him pushing me around and yelling at me to get away from him because everyone thought we were a couple.â€?
“One day I remember doodling on a scrap piece of paper and I began to write ‘I wish I had a little brother.’ My dad saw it and questioned me why I wrote that and I told him it’s because I hate being called the baby. My dad told me that he didn’t show up to my confirmation because Patty had a baby and he was my brother. I didn’t know what to say. All I remember him saying is “don’t tell your mom.” But I told her.”
â€œI got yelled at by my mom and she said it was my fault they had a baby because I was the one who wanted one. She said that my dad had showed her the paper I doodled on. I felt so betrayed because it was as if my dad used that against me or used me as an excuse for having Blake.â€?
This photograph was Blakeâ€™s first visit to a hospital. It was the same day he was diagnosed with Leukemia at the age of two.
Blake is seven years old and continues to get weekly check ups most proceeding to chemotheropy treatment.
â€œEverything is sort of coming full circle, and as abnormal of a family life [we] have had, there is now some normalcy. I like to think that all of us have looked back on the past and decided to forgive, but not forget. Because I believe that it is important to remember where you came from. It is important to recognize the humanity of it all, and that in the end all we have is our Family.â€? -Gregory