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By: Carolyn Whitlock, Emma Parks, and Sophie Dubè

PADUA WEEKLY

EXC LU PET SIVE! R AND UCHI INTER VIE OO HIS PLA N KAT W WIT NT O T HERIN H AME PG. E WEE 2 HER K LY . PG. POLL! 8 PUR BIA SUIT F NCA OR ’S PG. LOVE 3

January 1623

Issue No. 65

The Day She’s Always Dreamed of: RUINED! On Sunday, the renowned shrew of Padua, Katherine Minola, daughter of the great Baptista Minola, waits hours for her fiancé Petruchio to show up to their wedding. At the sound of his arrival, all the citizens of Padua rejoiced, but all were disappointed to find that he had only arrived to mar the day every little girl, even shrews, dream of. A reporter from “Padua Weekly” went inside the wedding of Katherine and Petruchio to see what would become of the shrew and her groom. Everybody waited for hours for the groom to arrive. There was confusion and murmurs mongst all the guests and family until the groom arrived on a run down wagon being carried by Gremio, a servant of the groom. Everyone was horrified by the way Katherine’s betrothed, Petruchio, arrived to Padua. He came in habiliments so torn and worn out, that a witness at the wedding described him as “dressed in rags.” On the other hand, the bride, Katherine, was clothed in a beautiful white wedding gown. The sister of the bride, Bianca, had a stunning, fitted long blue dress as her attire. And finally, the great Baptista Minola, was sporting a handsome orange long coat over a white dress shirt. Everyone attending the wedding had great attire.

The latest news, gossip, and happenings in Padua, every week.

While most of the guests and family of the bride were shocked to see Petruchio arrive at all, father of the bride, Baptista, was thankful to see the groom had come. He admitted to our reporter that he wanted to get Katherine off his chest and said, “I am glad he’s come, howsoe’er he comes.” (Shakespeare.3.2.73). When the ceremony began, all the guests filed into the pews. The ceremony was going smoothly at first, the guests reported, until Petruchio swore so loudly that the priest dropped his prayer book. The groom then continued to smack the priest, leaving everyone speechless. Another witness reported that he kissed his wife so passionately that when their lips parted, the church echoed. With the ceremony coming to a close, the reception and feast not yet begun, the bridegroom boldly stood up and pronounced to all the guests, “Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for you. I know you think to dine with me today and have prepared great store of wedding cheer. But so it is, my haste doth call me hence, and therefore here I mean to take my leave,” (Shakespeare.3.2.185-190) and therefore departed with his wife, leaving the citizens of Padua dumbfounded. After the wedding, the guests then shared their feelings about Petruchio with our reporter and told him, “He is more of a devil and shrew than she!” And although most of the guests were not happy with their experience, many agreed that, that was not the last they would hear of Petruchio and Katherine, the two renowned shrews.

The couple as they share their first kiss as Mr. and Mrs. Petruchio of Verona

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EXCLUSIVE! Interview with Petruchio about his plan to tame Katherine. The big mystery to all married that I simply could not hold myself together! of us is how Petruchio is going to handle the infamous PW: We all know how Katherine Minola can be. How Katherine Minola as his new are you going to live with her? wife? Find out below, with this P: Erm... Well... I have a few exclusive interview only for processes I am going to use Padua Weekly. Our reporters to ‘tame her’. get down and dirty with Petruchio about his wedding PW: Please elaborate. and his not-so-secret plan to tame Katherine the Shrew. P: Well, just like hawk trainers PW: So, Petruchio, to start us off, how did do with young hawks that do not obey, I will deprive her of you woo a woman like Katherine? her needs so she becomes worn and tame. Once we get P: Well, my Kate’s quite feisty, so I knew back to my humble Verona home, she will be so worn that the only way I was going to get her to and hungry. She has had no food and I will feed her be my wife was to play it her way. After none, pretending the food is not good enough for her. asking her father, Baptista Minola, for her Just as I did with the meat, I’ll make up some problem hand in marriage, Katherine and I engaged with the way the bed is made and throw the “I tell thee, Kate, in a verbal battle of wits. I contradicted cushion one way and the pillow the other. I’ll twas burnt and dried everything she said. We could have been rant and yell so there’s no way she can fall away, And I expressly enemies! I knew that at the time, she didn’t asleep. This is how to tame a wife, or ‘kill her am forbid to touch it, love me yet I knew in time we would with kindness.’ This way I’ll cure her wild and For it engenders become great lovers. So I put my foot down disobedient nature. I doubt there is a better way choler, planteth and told her: “Your father hath consented to tame a shrew. anger; And better that you shall be my wife, your dowry ‘greed on, and, will you, nill you, I will marry ‘twere that both of us PW: That sounds... Interesting. How will you you.” ( Shakespeare. 2.1. 259-261.) did fast, Since of hide the fact that you are taming your wife from ourselves, ourselves her? are choleric, Than PW: There have been vicious rumors feed it with such overregarding your manner and appearance at P: All the while I’ll insist to her that it is because roasted flesh. Be your wedding. What exactly happened? I love her, which I do. I could never tell her my patient, tomorrow ‘t real intentions, for fear that she would never be shall be mended, P: I suppose my appearance is what shocked a tame wife. And, for this night, most people, but I wanted to prove to we’ll fast for everyone that I love my darling Kate, and that I want her to marry me for me, not for company.” my clothes. As for my manner... Well... It was (Shakespeare. Um... Because I was in such a hurry to be 4.1.106.-113.) Padua Weekly, 1289 Montegrotto Street, Padua, Italy | 123-456-7890 | paduaweekly67@gmail.com


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Who’s Who in Padua? A DETAILED PLAY-BY-PLAY OF THE LOCAL PADUA CELEBS

Who is who, you are wondering? So are many other people. Many lies and rumours are being spread around the small town of Padua. We have the latest scoop. Here is a true description of the REAL most famous celebs of the year. Katherine: The “shrew” which is the plays title, which is Katherine or otherwise known as is the daughter of Baptista Minola. Where they live in Padua. She is sharp-tongued, quick-tempered, and extremely prone to violence. She speaks her mind and isn’t afraid to show her crazy side. She is particularly violent to people who try to marry her because she thinks it is a trick because of her personality. Most of her suitors are picked out by her father who is very enthusiastic about giving her away and trying to find the right man who will put up with her behavior. But her anger and rudeness can sometimes disguise her hatred and jealousy toward her sister, Bianca who is the pretty blonde sweet girl that every man wants ad many men never want Katherine because of Bianca. “Then God be blessed, it is the blessed sun, but sun it is not when you say it is not, And the moon changes even as your mind. What you will have it named, even that its is, And so it shall be still for Katherine”. This is when Petruchio is still trying to tame her by telling her the sun is the moon, when all she is, is tired and hungry. Although she does not resist her suitor Petruchio forever, and she eventually calms, despite her previous  events with Petruchio trying to tame her. Petruchio:  Petruchio is a young man from Verona. He is loud, energetic, eccentric, lively, and sometimes he can get a little bit crazy, like his and Kates wedding scene where he shows up late in a ridiculous costume. He came to Padua do find a rich women to marry (which is exactly what he did!)He didn’t want anything more than to find a women who will support him and whom he can inherit form. And he soon finds Kate later to be the perfect fit, Although she is or can be violent and a little insane so can Petruchio hat is why they are perfect for each other! without listening to everyone who warns him of her temper and behavior and  shrew-ish-ness, he finally succeeds not only in wooing and winning Katherine, but in silencing her (otherwise known as “taming”) and her temper with his diligent ways of taming kate. Bianca:  The younger daughter of Baptista And the younger sister of ‘shrew’ Katherine, The lovely and sweet Bianca is the complete opposite of older sister Kate. At the beginning of the play, she is soft-spoken, sweet, unassuming and quite, and still stays that way until she meets her love Lutencio. Because of her large offering and her calm behavior, several men beg to marry her and woo her to be there wife. Although, she does get married in the end. After Kate. Baptista, will not let her marry any of her worthy suitors until Kate is wed, Because the eldest must always be wed first. But the problem is she has two amazing suitors who would jump at the though of Bianca’s hand, But until Kate is wed that cannot happen, and with the personality that Kate has Lucentio, Gremio and Hortensio are afraid they will be waiting for a long time. Baptista: Baptista Minola is one of the wealthiest and greatest men in Padua. His daughters Katherine and Bianca become very famous to marry off because of the offerings the Minola family has to offer. He is good hearted not selfish and good to people less wealthy than him, although he is all of these things he can sometimes be a little superficial and fake. His absentmindness increases when Kate shows her stubborn side of her. Therefore, at the opening of the play, he is already desperate to find her a suitor or a husband, Decided she must marry before Bianca does. (Continued on next page) Padua Weekly, 1289 Montegrotto Street, Padua, Italy | 123-456-7890 | paduaweekly67@gmail.com


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Who’s Who in Padua? (Continued from previous page) Tranio: Lucentio’s right hand man/servant. Tranio accompanies Lucentio from Pisa to Padua, to help out his boss in school. But it doesn’t really turn ou that way in the end. He plays an important part in his master’s charade, And he plays the fake Lutensio at school where the real Lutensio is suppost to be. He assumes Lucentio’s identity and bargains with Baptista for Bianca’s hand. Gremio and Hortensio: Two gentlemen who live in Padua. Gremio and Hortensio are Bianca’s suitors at the beginning of the play. Though they are rivals to try to win Bianca’s hand along with Lucentio’s competition. these older men also become friends during when at the end they both get rejected by Bianca. Hortensio directs Petruchio to Kate and then dresses up as a music tutor to tutor Bianca to try to woo her. He and Gremio are both let down and beaten by Lucentio who is the suitor Bianca picks in the end. Hortensio ends up marrying a widow and Gremio stays single. Grumio: Petruchio’s old servant and the fool/jester of the play—a source of much comic relief, He is a silly old man who doesn't recognize when he's being played or joked. Grumio also reminds us that Petruchio is not really a lunatic when Petruchio begins his shrew-taming of Kate.

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THE COLLECTOR!

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Pursuit for Bianca’s Love!

HOW’S THE COMPETITION?? WITH THE ‘OH SO CHARMING’ LUCENTIO, GREMIO, AND HORTENSIO OF PADUA!

We have all heard the latest gossip spreading around Padua, now that Katherine is finally married of, Which of the three suitors will Bianca choose to marry?! We ask them ourselves to find out the latest in the competition for Bianca’s Hand.   Interviewer/Me: So we’re in the studio with so clever and charming Lucentio, Hortensio and last but not least Gremio!   Gremio: Hey!   Hortensio: Hey!   Lucentio: Hey!   Interviewer/Me: So how are you guys? How’s life? What’s been happening?   Gremio: Lifes great were all great super excited to see who wins over Bianca!   Hortensio: yeah, happy that finally that sister of hers is finally out of our way.   Interviewer/Me: Well that’s good I guess! Now you can really focus on trying to win over Bianca.   Interviewer/Me: So how is the tutoring going? Lucentio your doing tutoring Latin and Gremio and Hortensio you are both doing Music?   Gremio: Yes I am tutoring Music for Bianca and so is Hortensio.   Interviewer/Me: I hope you don’t mind me asking but it it hard Hortensio fighting for the same girl as your best friend?   Hortensio: It is hard I guess but you gotta do what you gotta do, and if that means

fighting for the women you love, then so be it.   Interviewer/Me: And do you feel the same Lucentio?.   Lucentio: I guess so, I would much rather not compete against my best friend but like Hortensio said a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.   Interviewer/Me: So now that Katherine is finally married woopieee! What are all you tactics to get Bianca and how do you all plan to do still managing to be friends?   Gremio: I plan to tell her the truth one day, but not just yet. And still tutor her so that our relationship can become that much closer and we can bond more and of course she see how amazingly amazing I am and she will fall into my arms.   Lucentio: Well I am going to tell her the truth, and just be myself although I am also afraid if I tell her the truth she will hate me forever and never speak to me again, but at least I wont be lying anymore.   Hortensio: hahaah, lame. Well what I am going to do is go out have a few pints go home watch a game and for sure Bianca will call me crying saying she loves me, you guys just watch you’ll see Bianca is head –over heels for me!   Interviewer/Me: Wow well that sounds very…uhh smart! Well what goes on in your lessons in class how are some of the ways you each try to express love?   Lucentio: Well yesterday I was reading to her and I simply said in and out of the words of the book compliments to her but she wasn’t really paying attention so I simply said “show pity, or I die” (III.i.76) to tell her that whenever she doesn’t pay attention its killing me because I am trying my hardest.   Interviewer/Me:  wow, very romantic.  

Gremio: Well I sang to her a beautiful lovely melody to compliment her beautiful long blonde locks.   Interviewer/Me: very nice Gremio J   Hortensio: Ya I taught her stuff. We had a real connection.   Interviewer/Me: That’s Great!   Interviewer/Me: Well it was lovely meeting you gentlemen and talking to you and good luck on your pursuit to woo your charming fair lady and may the best man win!   Hortensio: yes may the best man win!   Lucentio: thank you for having us on the show!   Interviewer/Me: Anytime!   So all men on a challenge to now fight for the women of their dreams. Which man will win? No one knows. Check up on The Padua Weekly for daily updates and who will the next Minola be wed to.

Gremio at our Interview

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Quiz of the Week: Are you more like Katherine, or Bianca? FIND OUT BELOW IN OUR WEEKLY QUIZ Question #1: Do you care whether you are the preferred child in your family or not? a. Yes b. No Question #2: If someone tells you that you have done something wrong, and starts to correct you, how would you respond? a.I would physically hurt them. How dare they tell me what to do! b. I would thank them for their correction. I can learn from my mistakes. Question #3: If you found out that your sister could only get married after you, and she was in love, what would you do? a. I would continue to wait for the man of my dreams, unaffected by anything b. I would help my sister with a silent marriage without anybody knowing in order that she marries her love, and I have time to find a fitting husband for myself.

Question #4: Would you rather marry a man who was rich but did not love you, or a man who was poor, but loved you with all his heart? a. A man who was rich but did not love me b. A man who was poor, but loved me with all his heart Question #5: If your father favored your other sibling over you, how would you treat your sibling differently? a. I would try to blame things on them, and would maybe approach them with a threat b. I would approach them, and I would share with them how I felt about them being the favorite and me being treated differently, but would not do anything to harm them.

Question #6: If people in your town considered you a shrew, and you knew they were talking about you behind your back, how would you respond? a. I wouldn’t do anything about it. They have the right to their own opinions. b. I would try to change how I acted in order that they respect me more.

The Results: If you chose “a” for 4 or more of the questions, you are a KATHERINE. A cruel minded and sharp-tongued woman. If you chose “b” for 4 or more of the questions, you are a BIANCA. A soft spoken and kind hearted woman. If you chose “a” 3 times and “b” three times, you are neither Katherine, nor Bianca, but a little bit of  both.

Maecenas pulvinar sagittis enim.

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Dear Bianca, How do you get all the men? -IwantAhusband Dear IwantAhusband, Just be your sweet, charming, tame self, and the men will flock to you! -Bianca Minola

Dear Katherine,

Dear Bianca,

My sister has always been my father’s favorite. She’s beautiful and kind and all of the men in my town want her to be their wife. It seems as if I am the only one that can see through her charade. What do I do? -theuglyduckling

I have too many suitors, I don’t know who to choose! One of them is a nasty old man, so I think he’s out of the picture. The other two are my tutors. They think I do not know they are trying to woo me, but it’s so obvious. One of them (my music tutor) practically shouts in my face the way he feels about me. The other (my latin tutor) does it more subtly and in a much sweeter way. I’m so confused! -toomanyMEN

Dear teuglyduckling: Sounds like you need to do something drastic. Try tying up your sister, and try to get her to spill the beans on something bad she’s done. If she doesn’t just start hitting her. Make sure you do it when your father isn’t home. If he walks in on you and your sister, yell at him about how you feel. That should send a pretty strong message. -Katherine Minola

Dear toomanyMEN: What a mess! I’m sure each man has redeeming qualities and each one would make a fine husband. But it seems like you’re leaning towards the sweet, last one. Follow your heart and marry the man you love! Good luck! -Bianca Minola

Dear Katherine,

Dear confused-in-love,

I’ve just gotten married, yet my new husband is treating me like dirt! He won’t let me eat or sleep, and he says it’s because he loves me and only wants the best for me, but I know he has some kind of an alterior motive. -confused-in-love

What you need to do is outsmart HIM. Play along next time he tries to trick you, even if it’s something as simple as the sun or moon! Then, when he shows you off to his friends, act like the perfect woman so he has no reason to treat you like dirt. -Katherine Minola

Advice Column: Ask the Sisters Minola! A weekly advice column for women looking for advice on men, friendships, sisterhood, and fashion!

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HELP WANTED: Worried father seeking committed shrew tamer. Must be a stoic and can endure physical pain. Materials provided include: burnt chicken, wrinkled bed sheets, lumpy pillows, spoiled milk, and a marred gown. Reward for successful taming of the shrew: 2,000 gold crowns. If interested, contact Baptista Minola:

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Weekly Poll “Definitely Lucentio. He’s charming, sweet, and really knows how to woo a woman!” -bminola67

NEXT WEEKS POLL: Are men’s Next Week’s Poll: Are men’s still in fashion? (Send in your tights still intights fashion? answers to paduaweekly67@gmail.com)

Vote online at: www.paduaweekly.com/vote/ tights

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“Petruchio is the man for me! He knows how to control and tame a woman, he shows his dominance and intelligence.” -kathyM.23


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