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ISSUE 24 AUSTRALIA Photography: Master D


kink-e magazine

A Dominatrix state of mind”: the vanilla world plays with fetish

It’s always nice when the vanilla world pays homage… “Look at that amazing belt” I said to my sub / husband a few weeks back, as we perused a popular chain store for trendy young females where I sometimes parade him for a little erotic humiliation. Covering from breasts to hips, it was more corset than belt. Black. Tight. “Alas, way too easy for a sub to get in and out of, but if the vanilla world wants to imitate fetish fashions”, thinks me, “then let’s all buy them and make sure the designs are seen - they won’t stay in fashion for long”. But they certainly are fashionable right now. Suddenly examples of pseudo kink abound, and it’s not just street fashion, it’s the oh so serious fashion world and even more serious art world. A huge Revlon poster caught my eye recently, the ad campaign promoting hair products via a striking, almost monochromatic image of three women wearing black. The blonde woman on the left ties on a black wrist cuff. The woman on the right rests her head on the shoulder of the centre figure who reaches up a hand to caress her hair. All that’s missing from this couple, from a BDSM point of view, is the collar and leash… A week later I encountered a perfect example of fetish / goth in street fashions: I met the most extraordinary young woman at a bus stop. Celeste was absolutely exquisitely dressed at 2pm to head in to the centre of Canberra to meet friends. The centre piece of her outfit was a black “bondage corset” by Gallery Serpentine in Sydney, a favourite play party style of several dominant friends of mine.


We talked about her choice of clothing, and her interests. I recommended some other Australian fetish designers she might like to contact (such as www.MarquisDeSade. who also make exquisite fashions). Celeste incorporated the bondage corset effortlessly into her own sense of style. I swear, if more young women learn to dress like this, they’ll take over the world. Later that day I discovered another example of pseudo kink, again stocked by a mainstream fashion store: fingerless opera gloves of the softest black leather. As any good dominant knows, it’s rare to find leather gloves without 2. fingertips, and while I adore my opera gloves I adore touching (my cool) skin to (a sub’s burning, welted) skin during play even more. So I decided to brave suburbia and track a pair down… The gloves were selling very well, the pretty sales girl told me as I tried them on. Fascinating. I would not have been more surprised to find latex leggings on sale in the upmarket store. Which reminded me of the twitter of horror last year amongst international fashion editors when latex outfits and tights appeared on the catwalk at London Fashion Week. Slick at later posted a list of the designers who used latex:

3. 4



“Daryl K (a few leggings often with long tops) Wunderkind (used as stockings with somewhat long skirts). Hussein Chalayan (black leggings with short dresses) Belstaff (some leggings and pants - may or may not be latex) Manish Arora (black leggings with just about everything) Gardem (one outfit which uses latex or PVC leggings)…” This trend was picked up by top UK designer labels like Topshop and Temperley London. “Latex love! ... latex leggings: love them or leave them!!!!” yowled fashion bloggers as they reproduced photos of celebrities with tight shiny legs. Sure, this is not the first time that the fashion world has used fetish material. But sometimes it’s hard to define where the inspiration source lies – Thierry Mugler sent some stunning hooded shiny costumes down the catwalk in his 1996/7 collection, but they were probably more inspired by contemporary film / superhero fashions that kink. Then again, surely those original superhero outfits were themselves derived from fetish designs? This is a question the art world is currently exploring in New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art’s exhibition “Super Heroes: Fashion and Fantasy”. The exhibition examines the link between superhero costumes and the catwalk, and features Mugler’s costumes as well as 1980s designs by Pierre Cardin and more recently, John Galliano, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Hussein Chalayan and Alexander McQueen. And believe you me, fetish absolutely permeates this exhibition. As the Met’s website says of “Super Heroes”: “Since the first appearance of Superman in 1938, the superhero has exercised a powerful influence over our collective imagination, serving as avatars or conduits for our hopes, dreams, and desires … Through the years, the superhero has been used to embody—through metaphor—our social and political realities. At the same time, it has been used to represent concepts reflective of sexuality and corporeality through idealized, objectified, and hyperbolic visualizations of the human body”. Fashion, argues the exhibition’s curator Andrew Bolton, “not only shares the superhero’s metaphoric malleability, but actually embraces and responds to the particular metaphors that the superhero represents, notably that of the power of transformation. Fashion celebrates metamorphosis, providing unlimited opportunities to remake and reshape the flesh and the self”. A good example is my favourite costume in the Met’s exhibition: Catwoman, from the film 1992 Batman Returns. Don’t try and tell me that you didn’t spend most of your time watching this film checking out this particular costume. The Met features this costume in a section of the exhibition it titles “The Paradoxical Body”, about which they write”


“Superhero comics have tended to promote an ideology that is both masculinist and driven to mastery. Nowhere are these biases more blatant than in the representation of female superheroes. With unabashed and unapologetic obviousness, women are portrayed as objects of male desire and fantasy with absurdly exaggerated sexual characteristics. While it is true that the costumes worn by male superheroes can also be defined by an overt sex appeal, those worn by their female counterparts tend to reveal a lot more bare flesh. But the frisson of fetishistic sexuality presented by female superheroes is adduced with one hand only to be dismissed with the other. This offering and denying of sexuality, which helps to resolve the sexual fears and desires of developing males, is the eternal paradox of the superheroine”.


Yes yes! Finally amongst all the art speak we get the word “fetish”! But seriously, let’s look a bit more at what makes this particular costume of interest as psuedo kink. Catwoman remains the classic “good girl / bad girl” despite several origin story changes, and her costume has always reflected those changes.


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The Met’s curator has this to say: “While in some cases the costume changes parallel (and signal) character transformations, in others they seem to be purely for the sake of fashionable appearances. Indeed, in another instance of comic-book chauvinism, female characters are typically subject to more stylistic makeovers, whether radical or restrained, than their male counterparts. Submission to the dialectics of fashion is presented as another expression of a fetishized femininity”

Now in Catwman’s case, fetishism is a defining part of her cultural representation. When we think of Catwoman we immediately clothe her in a tight “catsuit” like the ones worn by the character in the 1960s television series Batman and later by Michelle Pfeiffer in the 1992 film Batman Returns. The catsuit provides a great example of intermedia cross-pollination because these costumes later inspired and influenced costumes worn by Catwoman in her comic-book representation. The Met’s website writes of this costume: “As apparel, the catsuit has long been identified with the dominatrix, an archetype frequently associated with Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer’s performance strengthened this connection by spotlighting the themes of alpha-cat and submissive kitten-like behavior. Her costume, which co-opted the traditional iconography of the dominatrix, included associated paraphernalia such as a whip, gloves, and high-heel shoes”. That’s why I love it. The recreation of the Catwoman costume was made by Syren Couture. Jeff Gent from Syren Couture describes his work for the exhibition on the museum’s website: “[I] began by sorting through Syren Couture’s Archives to see what I could find from our work on Batman Returns. I was able to locate several detailed drawings, which mapped the location of each of the individual cast-rubber sets of “stitches” on the costume; a critical piece of information for the re-creation. Bob Ringwood, the costume designer, was nice enough to send several high-resolution photographs of the costume for reference. The Warner Brothers Archive was very helpful by allowing me access to the original Catwoman costumes to take extensive measurements and photographs of the original suits. “A new pattern was created using all of these resources, but to get the proper fit, draping directly on the mannequin was the best solution”. Fetish designers working with art museums, it’s a whole new world out there… So why is this costume in the exhibition?


Let’s hear once more from the curator: “The visual and symbolic language of Catwoman resonates strongly in fashion, especially in the work of Thierry Mugler, John Galliano, Dolce & Gabbana, Gianni Versace, Jean Paul Gaultier, and Alexander McQueen. All these designers, like Catwoman (and, indeed, female comic-book characters generally), have been attracted to the wardrobe of the dominatrix and its associations of a liberated sexuality. “Liberated sexuality”. That’s us, folks! He continues: “Conceptually loaded and psychologically coded items such as catsuits, corsets, bustiers, and harness bras, usually in black “wet-look” materials like leather, rubber, and polyvinyl chloride, have in the hands of these outré designers achieved widespread acceptance as exotic-erotic haute couture. But in co-opting these sexual clichés, fashion has, in the process, muted their meanings and sanitized their subtexts”. He’s so right: “In much the same way as comic books, fashion presents elements of fetishistic sexuality stereotypically, undermining, or at least redirecting and repositioning, its subversive, sadomasochistic underpinnings. While presented blatantly, erotic energies, like the feral nature of Catwoman, are tamed, neutered, and, ultimately, neutralized”.




This is what the vanilla world usually does, when it plays with kink. And that’s what happened with last year’s UK fashion world brush with “latex leggings”. The original designer was honest in his inspirational sources as this newsletter from Libidex, those extraordinary latex artisans in London, reveals: “We were approached last month to produce a large quantity of our classic tights for renowned and innovative fashion designer Manish Aurora. These were used to great effect alongside his outlandish designs in this year’s London Fashion Week at the Natural History Museum, London at the start of February. “Subsequently, our lovely tights have been splashed all over the magazines and papers, with full page spreads in the top London newspapers, (although you would think that by now some journalists would be able to tell the difference between pvc and rubber!)” Come on, don’t be silly, why would they do that? After all it’s just the vanilla fashion world dipping it’s toe into fetish fashions ... literally, in this case! Sadly they don’t have all consuming PVC or rubber fetishes to make the construction material become rabidly erotic for them! Which meant they found the rather restrictive and tricky means of getting in and out of latex seriously a pain, as handbag blogger Emma Sells reported: “The tights were particularly fascinating to me – I asked one of the models about them and she said that it took three people and a tub of talc to get her in, but once on they were very comfy and warm. I look forward to seeing them in Topshop next season, if only so I can see the look of horror on my boyfriend’s face when I ask him to help me manoeuvre into them” Horror is a good word. It was all too much for some fashionistas, who took the trend and reworked the base material into something more acceptable. “Acceptable” being my own term. The word in the fashion industry was “evolution”, as in (this quote coming from a review of the recent Australian Fashion Week): “Present in every second collection this week - and of course an evolution from the growing northern hemisphere runways/high street obsession with Latex-look leggings and skinny black leather jeans” “Latex-look”???? *sigh!!* I love Australian designers Sass & Bide (who’s latest “latex look” “Black Rat” highshine, ruched, Lycra acetate leggings are HUGE this year) but God forbid the vanilla world keep wearing the real thing!

Then again, perhaps there is a glimmer of hope... the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s “Super Heroes: Fashion and Fantasy” might well inspire a new generation of fashion designers. . And here in Oz, who could forget Opera Australia’s dip into fetish fashions with last year’s Don Giovanni? Peter Craven in The Monthly wrote that Tahu Rhodes’ performance in the title role “excited audiences because he has such an electric presence as well as being the kind of exciting singer who can embody Mozart’s womaniser, both in the splendour of his singing and in the sheer power of his performance”.


I’m sure. But I wouldn’t underestimate the power of his costume either: bare chest, long back wig, black leather shorts with silver studded belts, knee length black leather boots, full length black coat, black eye make up, black bandana and leather mask … and lets not forget those two swords he carried as well. Craven described T T Rhodes as “frisking about in leather boxer shorts”, while an On Stage Melbourne reviewer noted the baritone “makes a magnificently seductive Don”. Oh absolutely! Who cares about plot when you can feast your eyes on such “frisky” fetish treats in the vanilla world? As I decided to buy the fingerless leather opera gloves I found myself thinking that with all these pseudo kink cross over influences you can’t really blame local vanilla fashion editors who make gushing comments like: “Vamp it up! Kinky boots, vampish buckles, patent black belts and a dominatrix frame of mind. You’re the ultimate urban warrior!”. Oh indeed. “A dominatrix frame of mind” is now a thing to aspire to in the vanilla world. How



delightful. “Let’s pervert ‘em en masse”, I mused as I watched the conventional young things who visited the store chatter like a flock of birds ... where was Celeste in her bondage corset and sense of style and vibrant sensuality to put them to shame? Suddenly I spotted one young woman alone in the crowd. Her eyes - as quietly amused as my own - were drawn to my magazine hands. “Those gloves look amazing on you”, she said, shyly, “where would you wear them? To a party?” “Yes”, I replied. And purred like Catwoman. “Why don’t you try them on? It’s always nice when the vanilla world pays homage… MET QUOTES: PHOTO ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: ILLUSTRATION 1: REVLON AD (Photo: Mistress160) ILLUSTRATION 2: CELESTE IN BONDAGE CORSET (Photo: Mistress160) ILLUSTRATION 3: CELEBRITIES IN LATEX LEGGINGS (xposted) ILLUSTRATION4: CATWOMAN COSTUME FROM BATMAN RETURNS 1992 (METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART WEBSITE) ILLUSTRATION5: CATWOMAN COMIC BOOK COSTUME DESIGNS (METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART WEBSITE) ILLUSTRATION6: THIERRY MUGLER DESIGNS (METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART WEBSITE) ILLUSTRATION7: TEDDY TAHU RHODES IN DON GIOVANNI (OPERA AUSTRALIA WEBSITE)





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© Mistress J

Being Saved

allelujah! The evangelical types are waging a campaign to stop women being trafficked, held as slaves and otherwise exploited by the sex industry. Also active in the rescue industry are the radical dykes, such as Sheila Jeffreys, who are adamant that everyone who works in the sex industry is abused. Further, sex workers are often held against their will and forced to do horrible things with wretched men. And everyone knows that any interaction between a sex worker and client is rape, even if penetration is not involved. Those who think they made an informed decision to work in the industry simply got it wrong – and they just don’t realise how oppressed they really are. Sex workers need to be re-educated so they will see the error of their ways. There are so many organisations and individuals who want to ‘rescue’ women from the sex industry that everyone is bound to benefit from their benevolence. Obviously, I‘m a prime candidate for re-education, someone who needs to be saved from the clutches of the oppressive sex industry. After ten years of working as a Dominatrix, I still haven’t figured out how exploited I am. Okay, okay so I’m a slow learner. First of all, there is determining my own hours. Highly questionable. To be truly freed from oppression I should get to be like everyone else who has to work at least 40 hours a week. The mere fact that I go to the art gallery on a Friday morning simply because I can, enjoy having lunch with friends and spending my afternoons writing is a clear indication that I don’t really understand the tyranny of the sex industry and how it forces me to comply. Determining my own fees is also an indication of being irrational and not appreciating that clients are taking advantage of me. Rather than charging $250 an hour, I could be ‘saved’ and get a job as a checkout-chick who gets to stand on her feet for eight hours a day for about $12 an hour. But then she chooses to work at the supermarket. And if she doesn’t like it she has the freedom to go and get a job at the café down the street. Australia is the home of employment opportunities, after all. Deciding what I will and will not do further confirms that I’m being preyed upon. Most people in the regular work force are fortunate enough to have people telling them what to do and how to do it. Thus, they are spared the dilemma of making decisions and they have the luxury of doing mindless tasks by rote, confident that they are safe sitting through boring meetings, that they don’t have to take any responsibility for anything, -- so long as it goes right. If, however, a scapegoat is needed, they may be able to volunteer for that position as well. Or what about working from home? Once again I’ve been remiss and not realised that people have an inalienable right to spend at least an hour a day commuting to and from work, getting stuck in traffic jams and being squished into buses and trains. Yes, I must confess that working from home has made me reluctant to venture out during rush hour so the sex industry has a lot to answer for in that regard. Not appreciating road rage is another sure sign of being detached from mainstream society and not appreciating the important topics in life. Further, being an outcast I just haven’t realised how important it is to have people spying on me to make sure I’m doing it right. Therefore I haven’t embraced the ‘This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes’ approach. The sex industry has turned me into a deviant who enjoys getting to know clients as people. What? Spending time talking to people? The wheels of industry would grind to a halt if this poor management practice were allowed to slip out into the mainstream. If sex workers were taught to say ‘Have a nice day’ through gritted teeth the world would be a much more liberated place. Determining that you will and will not do is a sex industry practice that must be eliminated. Sex workers have to be re-educated to do as they are told. Otherwise they can’t possibly become part of the social fabric Imagine if everyone decided what they were prepared to do and what they refused to touch? Scary thought, isn’t it. This might be the hardest thing to beat out of sex workers who are used to calling their own shots. I applaud the people who are determined to save me, to reform my sex-industry-induced bad habits. Knowing they have my best interest at heart makes me sleep better at night. Oh, and I can’t wait to start a mindless career as a check-out-chick.

Mistress J, Dominatrix and Chief Executive Bitch of the Domina Reform School, wishes Kink-e a spanking great 4th birthday.  Well done! 10




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BDSM For Beginners series Aftercare for Dominants: part 2

This is the fourth article in my educational series about aftercare. Earlier articles explored aftercare / drop issues for submissives, In the last issue we examined aftercare issues for dominants, exploring terms like dom / top drop, top guilt and dominant burnout. Today, let’s examine some of the questions you’ve sent me: • Advice for fledging Dominants on “drop”, guilt and aftercare • For dominants: How to avoid dominant burnout • For subs: If my Dom/me needs aftercare, what do I do? • Aftercare for D/s couples (While usually these articles can be read independently I’d really suggest this part be read in conjunction with part 1, which explains the conditions and terminology discussed here. If you can’t locate the last edition of Kink-E, you can find a copy of this article on my BDSM For Beginners blog ADVICE FOR FLEDGLING DOMINANTS: PROVIDING AFTERCARE “where do I start? what if I get it wrong?”

OK, so let’s say you are a new dominant reading this. What are the most important points about aftercare you need to keep in mind? Some important tips: 1. Chris M: The scene isn’t finished until aftercare is over!

2. Midori: Reassurance. Gratification. Validation!


3. Mistress160: Don’t forget about Virtual Aftercare, or about being able to handle your own emergency self aftercare! Keep in mind: • there are several good articles on aftercare (especially Chris M and Midori) but as a dominant you should also take the time to read others in the Reference list at the bottom of this post • everyone’s aftercare requirements are different: can you provide the aftercare your play partner requires? if not, who can? don’t be offended if a play partner tells you during Pre Scene Negotiations that they prefer their regular play partner or significant other to provide their aftercare (read up on Third Party Aftercare with Midori) • you need to prepare an aftercare kit not only for yourself but for your sub’s use, “just in case” they don’t have one (for example, put two blankets in if you both get cold after play) • remember to allow enough time after play for aftercare. Not budgeting your time and having to run off to other appointments without attending to your play partner will not win you friends (or a good reputation) • read up on Virtual Aftercare in the first post in this aftercare series • enjoy this special time with the sub who has given you so much! Afterwards request they write honestly about the experience. This will provide a useful learning tool. • avoid what Chris M calls Over Friendly Aftercare: “aftercare as a non-negotiated grope session is not respectful unless its welcomed by your partner ... hands-all-over gooses, gropes, and tonsil hockey seem less a conclusion ... than an independent scene on its own, snuck in, un-negotiated, on the sly”. • you’ll want to check in with your partner over the next few days to talk over the scene and check for subdrop symptoms. You can also use this time to go over the scene • Chris M writes “some tops, even magnificent ones, don’t do aftercare”. If you feel you are going to be one of those dominants always remember “you have a responsibility to arrange aftercare for your partner if they don’t have someone to take care of them” (don’t forget your aftercare kit!) ADVICE FOR FLEDGLING DOMINANTS: YOUR OWN NEEDS “I sometimes need [aftercare] when things go wrong in a way that hurt me, even if it’s just a minor thing” “thank you So MUCH for covering this subject, Ms160. It helps as a newer dominant to know I’m not alone in my experiences and I really appreciate the comprehensive nature of the Aftercare series”




Your own needs and aftercare requirements will become clearer once you play. If you are a switch (you enjoy playing both sub + dom roles) read my next post, which documents how switches deal with “drop”, which they experience from both sides, and aftercare. For now: • familiarize yourself with the other posts in this aftercare series, especially the first (which provides background and examples of aftercare and “drop”) • familiarize yourself with the “Aftercare Practicalities” section in the first post (which covers working out your aftercare needs, ways to inform your play partner of them, and how to assemble an aftercare kit, etc) • before play: make sure you provide your play partner with details of your aftercare requirements during Pre Scene Negotiations • after play: watch out for: domdrop and top guilt symptoms • Chris M : “familiarize yourself with self aftercare, just to be on the safe side. Depending on your self-image, and style, you may not want to receive aftercare from your submissive partner. Or, you may be with a bottom that does not wish to see you as needing nurturing or care”. Check out my emergency self aftercare instructions. Select a friend who can act as your Third Party Friend during aftercare / domdrop crises. • longterm: watch out for: Mistress / Dom fatigue (burnout) HOW TO AVOID DOMINANT BURNOUT (MISTRESS / DOM FATIQUE): Later we’ll discuss in detail how subs can help dominants with dominant burnout as well as other conditions we’ll discuss today. For now, here is a list of possible solutions to help dominants conserve energy and avoid burn out, especially virtual burnout: • Delegate: One suggestion for female dominants who receive a lot of unsolicited mail: have a trusted sub handle your daily online mail - or even just the unsolicited mail that collects at various online kinky communities. This immediately and drastically improves personal stress levels - your mail sub will delete all the abusive / junk mail, can write back to subs making enquiries to serve to inform them whether you are taking anyone on or not, and can bring to your attention the few remaining messages from true and sincere subs. • Delegate MORE: have another trusted sub take over your blog / website maintenance / handle daily junk registration and spam deletions / act as a moderator on your forums etc. Again: instant (daily commitment) stress release. • Limit your online BDSM commitments - just a little: Be honest: you really can’t fit another sub into your online stable (start a waiting list - sincere subs will understand). Remember to enjoy those subs you currently have, both online and real time - if your time with them feels a burden you are heading for burnout FAST. Cut down the time you spend at online kinky communities. Limit your time in chat. Cut down your blog list and your personal blog posts. Do not waste precious online time with people who are abusing that time: if your time and involvement with a community are not appreciated, go elsewhere. • Just ended a relationship with a sub? Whether real time or online, whether you initiated the break-up or not, losing a sub is a time of considerable stress. Take your “aftercare” as seriously as you would the recovery process after any other relationship. Allow time to experience all the usual end of relationship emotions. Then allow time to heal. • Nurture yourself: boring but true: eat healthily (include indulgences and comforts of course). Take daily exercise (I find a daily flogging works wonders). Walk. Meditate. Ban your laptop from the bedroom: read a book. Listen to music. Go see a movie with friends. • Nurture your significant other: whether you are in a D/s relationship or not, treasure your primary partner. Tell them everyday what they mean to you. Save water and shower with them. Buy the foods they love (even the ones you dislike). Indulge in the kinks they enjoy most. Never take them for granted. • Think of other ways to change your stress levels in your real time and virtual lives. Work on making these changes happen. Burnout is far less likely to take hold if you are able to avoid feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities. Mistress Steel also offers the following advice regarding conserving energy and preserving dominant integrity:



“I am a Domina all the time for it is simply an overt part of my nature but I am not dominating all the time. It is essential that all aspects and parts of my personality live. .... magazine “To address Dom Drop in my own life it became necessary to view my primary relationship in other terms. It is my desire to control when and where I turn on (or become 110% Domina). To accomplish this … I elected to construct my relationship with an ON/OFF switch. When I am with my partner we are both in neutral space. This allows open flowing conversation, debate, humor, the sharing of ideas, doing things together etc. “When I feel a desire to engage or take control then I do so. I may do this physically by touch or verbally by shifting from neutral language where I use his proper name to ‘scene’ language where I use my chosen ‘private’ name for him. This simple construction is quite effective. It blockades the submissives potential desire to ‘force’ me into role, it negates the building of stresses by offering open exchanges of conversation and at the same time allows me total control over when and where I exercise my nature to its fullest...”.

WHAT CAN A SUB DO TO HELP THEIR DOMINANT IN TERMS OF POST SCENE AFTERCARE? “Does my top need help - can I help?” is something many subs ask me. The answer is definitely: YES!! As Midori points out:

“many tops want to know that they are still loved and desired after exposing their darker desires to the other. Their pride as a technician and lover may also be involved in this. The top wants validation that they were a “good top.” Telling a top that “Your flogging sucks” just might crush them. Even if they look pissed off, they’re actually hurt”. So take Chris M’s advice:

“remember to express gratitude and respect to the top who has spent the last hour or so being bad to you. Flattery is good ... a foot massage might be much appreciated for a Domme who has been busily abusing you while in high heels, or for anyone in hard leather boots... “if you are a bottom ‘on loan’ from another dominant/top who plans to provide your aftercare, don’t forget to express gratitude to your partner in play. A thank you, a kiss on the cheek and a hug is almost always good form” Some of you have written to me, confused by your Dom/me’s “fussing” over you at the end of a scene, and were surprised when I responded that it was important you allow them to do this. Midori explains why:

“here’s an interesting insight into Top psychology: there are times when the bottom needs very little aftercare, but the top insists upon it. For many tops, providing aftercare for the bottom may be exactly what they need. The act of providing help and healing allows many tops to feel whole, compassionate, kind and validated. This may be how they balance for the darker side that they expressed earlier in the scene.


“So what do you do if you’re the bottom and you feel like you’re done with your aftercare but your top is still fussing over you? If you can, let them and understand that you’re doing their aftercare in letting them provide for you”.



Do keep an eye out for this. It’s extremely important to let yourself be nurtured, if you can. Also, if you think your dominant may be experiencing top guilt, make sure you reassure them - as asdf123 points out:

“hitting somebody you love is a bit of an arse-backwards sort of thing to do, and I guess wanting some reassurance that you haven’t done any permanent damage to either them or your relationship is natural” Sometimes you will provide the reassurance they need without even knowing it. Jadetiger writes:

“aftercare for [my sub] is so simple. He snuggles under the covers and is fast asleep. I do enjoy watching him as he sleeps and running my fingers through his hair. The aftercare is so very important. People say after care is for the sub but personally it reassures me that [he] and I are still okay” Providing your Dominant with aftercare is especially important after a ‘broken” scene (for example a scene stopped due to accidental injury, use of a safe word, unexpected visitors etc). Sensual Sadist’s Alexandra noted, after a session with her partner went wrong:

“We both needed aftercare and while I know pet needed it, I think I benefited more so from that aftercare session than any other. “When things go wrong it’s easy to let the baggage pile up. “He’s not being truly submissive”, “He doesn’t understand my needs”, “We aren’t going to be able to keep this thing going” are all natural thoughts to pass through your mind after something has gone wrong or you feel let down. It is when these thoughts become persistent that they become corrosive”. Wise words, indeed. Make sure you talk through the scene, especially if something went wrong. If you don’t know when the best time is to raise the problem with your dominant, why not write to them about what occurred, and ask if a time can be set aside for discussion. If your dominant doesn’t check in - especially after a broken scene - then contact them yourself. They may be experiencing drop or top guilt and might appreciate your support.

WHAT CAN A SUB DO TO HELP THEIR DOM/ME IN TERMS OF DOMINANT BURNOUT? “Help” comes down to one word: patience. I wrote about dominant burnout in depth in the last issue. Please do read it, if you think it may be a concern of yours. Subs: remember burnout may go on for some time. And controlling your own panic won’t be easy. Remember if your dominant withdraws mentally and physically (and this is important, trust me): 1. You have NOT failed as a sub 2. You have NOT let your Dom/me down 3. Your Dom/me is NOT upset with you 4. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG 5. This is your dominant’s issue, NOT yours If you find yourself in this position, then I’m breaking all protocols here and giving you a direct order as a dominant: I want you to repeat these words above to yourself every morning and night. Reassuring yourself is important. Under no circumstances flood your Dom/me with correspondence and gifts. I agree with Mistress Steel that this truly will make things worse, as will sending demanding messages or complaints. You are simply adding to the many commitments they currently can’t cope with, and making them feel even more guilty about letting everyone (including you) down. Absolutely, drop them a line now



and then, but keep it brief, light (“thinking about you”) and above all, positive and reassuring (“I’m doing okay, looking forward to seeing you soon”). magazine Remember the magic word: patience! Give your dominant time, and you will be rewarded with the thing you most desire: their return. The question then becomes, how can you help your Dom/me avoid something similar in the future? Keep in mind Mistress Steel’s words for new subs:

“a new submissive should consider the act of alleviating the stresses of the Dominant as a priority in their life. Learning to be patient and await the natural waves of energy that all of us produce is something that makes more experienced submissives such a joy to be around. A submissive should seek to blend seamlessly into their Dominant’s life, sharing in that ‘excess’ of Dom energy when it is available and ‘feeding’ their Dominant with ease of spirit when that Dominant is low on energy” Think practically, in terms of how you might help alleviate stress. If you are in a real time D/s relationship there are a million daily things you can do. Virtual relationships are more difficult but not impossible. You might, for example, offer to handle their unsolicited mail (a popular Mistress can receive hundreds of unsolicited messages from subs a week). Think creatively, if you don’t want to be left behind again next time this happens. You might consider something seriously radical: making friends with your dominant. If you become more than a sub your relationship widens - this may result in your not being excluded if dominant burnout occurs again. But beware other consequences.

“THIS IS WHERE LOVE LIVES FOR ME” (AFTERCARE FOR COUPLES) Thank you to all the D/s couples who dropped me a line about this aftercare series. I hope the following answers some of your questions.

I find it wonderful to observe how D/s couples move within minutes from violent scenes of torment, degradation, coersion and intense pain, to the comfort and closeness of aftercare. It shows extraordinary love. Bitchy Jones writes of being:

“so fucking grateful to [her play partner]. Who came on this journey with me. Who took me to this place. *This* is why d/s is *always* better with an emotional bond. “I don’t want to really call it love, it is though, it’s love. This is where love lives for me. Play games with pain and you’re playing games with emotions. And this is why my heart is always getting broken. It soars too high” Aftercare becomes an extremely important component of play for many D/s couples, for whom it provides (as described by Chris M) a time:

“when the participants come together in mutual affirmation that something special was created and shared ... when affection and closeness is offered and sought ... it can be, and often is, the most beautiful part of a scene, and it is part of the scene” Miss Bonnie’s partner oz knows (writes MsB) when she’ll turn into a “hormonal mess” that desperately desires playtime despite knowing the hormones will increase domdrop: “he’s gotten to the point he knows in advance and buys me chocolate for after-wards, and of course he always has the hugs on standby waiting. LOL. We all have our times when we need that little extra aftercare” 16



Sensual Sadist’s Alexandra observes:

“Dominants rarely speak of enjoying aftercare and for me it’s usually a time of quiet motherly leadership and reassuring affection, but I’m lucky in that my pet has a nurturing, almost motherly streak of his own ...letting me squeeze him possessively and having him rub my worries away has always been a blessing for all aspects of my psyche” Switch discovered something similar, her Dom partner desiring:

“gentle loving lovemaking followed by cuddling and small talk. The cuddling and small talk is most important. I think the confirmation that I love and want him without coercion and that I appreciated the scene is necessary ... Gentle love just seems the natural thing to do”. In my own D/s relationship I practice a similar move to “gentle love” during aftercare. My needs require that solipsist and myself leave behind our D/s roles and slip back into being equal partners / lovers. This is partly because my needs are similar to my friend Lavender Scorpion (“I want to be validated and appreciated in a sexual way, for more than just what I have to give as a Domme. And I want the expression of that to be physical, as well as verbal and emotional”) but also because this provides reassurance I have not allowed the monster in me too far out of the box. This time. Alexandra experienced something similar:

“Returning to the romantic love we share allows us to put things in perspective. So that the next day I still don’t look at him and feel that something is unfinished, still not set right...” We are all different, we all have different needs, but sometimes love is all the aftercare a dominant needs!

A(NOTHER) FINAL WORD As I wrote in the first post in this aftercare series, while all this may sound a bit dire - it describes situations you may never have to face - it’s important to know what to do if/when BDSM problems occur. Which is what this BDSM for Beginners series is all about. The last few lines of this post are to remind you that aftercare is usually a wonderful experience. A time to draw close to the person who has given you such intense pleasure, to affirm together the extraordinary experience you just created together - a time (as switch describes) of “hazy sweetness while all my nerve endings are still singing”. To quote Chris M, “I wish for you to explore it and revel in its languid joys...”


cc Before During and After care Chris M Aftercare Fetish Diva Midori Aftercare - Healing Better to Play Harder Miss Bonnie Aftercare Mistress Steel Dominant Drop RavenMuse Reclaiming our morality Richard Evans Lee Aftercare Wikipedia: Aftercare - Subdrop -”>subdrop</a

MANY THANKS TO: Nikita, elise, WickedAngel, Carrie Ann, cyndi, aria, littleone / morningstar, Darkly. Wolffie, Siannyn, Torvea, MsSquirt, Satyrblade, Icky. Jadetiger, Pet + Saffron, Richard Evans Lee , Lavender Scorpion, Miss Bonnie + switch, sexslavealexa, snarkly71 + slavejamie2 RisiaSkye + Private Label, kim{MJ]} who all kindly contributed their thoughts and advice to this aftercare series, and to the many other kinksters who wrote of their experiences on the internet


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Electra’s Ego dances with the Devil Doll!


We all like to dance with the devil from time to time and in this issue I’m keeping in step with a very sexy, stylish and sinful one. As my eyes ogle the trimmings, I fight the temptations of filling my wardrobe with several of ‘Devil Doll 666’ glamorous designs. Megan the enchanting blonde is the bewitching designer of Devil Dolls 666. Launching her label a few years ago, her classic style with a twist, is influenced by the glamorous golden Hollywood years. Encasing a woman’s figure to enhance all the curves just like a 50’s pin up bombshell. The Devil Dolls web page like their fabric chose, echo a distinct theme of Black and Red. Decorated with flames, coffins, skulls, spiders and webs are strongly reflected in the Devil Dolls tops, skirts and dresses. For a more stylish twist, pin strip, polka dots, cherries and tartan., or Vamped up by PVC, lace and animal prints. With each design bearing the name of a Hollywood silver screen siren, the wearer is sure to feel like a smouldering goddess. After hours of admiring the collection and making a very long short list of desirables, there is one dress that I can imagine my own curves, seductively enhanced by the red PVC design and that is…

BETTY Described to perfection on the web page as… ‘ Va Va Voom! Wow... what a bombshell! You’ll be the toast of the town in this PVC halter neck fishtail BETTY dress with rear zip & neck ties.’ I sure would be the hostess with the mostess dressed in a BETTY design. With an extensive list of new designs just added to The Devil Dolls collection I strongly advise you jump on their web site and Mix up a Devil Doll Cocktail.(Ingredients are kindly supplied along side each design) and make you own list of must haves. If you are a ‘myspace’ junky and love collecting friends then their Myspace site: a must have friend - Or if you would rather have the opportunity to view the collection then shimmy your way to one of these shops –

• • • • • • •

Peril Underground basement, 17 – 19 Elizabeth st, CBD, Vic Planet13, 8 Bridge Rd, Richmond, Vic & level 3, Greensborough Plaza, Greensborough, Vic Vicious Venus, 346 Smith St, Collingwood, Vic Gallery Serpentine, Shop 2/116 Enmore Rd, Enmore, NSW Little Red Vamp, Shop 7, Galleria Building, Cnr Short & William St, Port Macquarie, NWS Mane Clothing, 575 Wellington St, Perth, WA Red Stripe Clothing, 8-10 Roe St, Northbridge, WA

But the part I love the most about Devil Doll 666, is the Devil Doll 2008 calendar “A collection of pinup style images done with a Devil Doll twist. 

2008 vixens include: Samantha Doll, Annebelle, Lee Lee, Miss Nic, Miss Elaine, Ava Jinx, Kitty Elixir, Miss Sonia Belle, Devil Doll, Mishella Vendetta, Angel and Vampira.” All local Melbourne dames. Even though we are nearly half way through 2008, this calendar of devilish dames captured in print, swanning about in the latest Devil Doll designs & Photographed by Koukei will never date. Wow with such a collection to admire I’m in need of a cocktail but before I depart, Here are a few more of my favourite designs.





What’s new at the Domina’s Realm

Hidden away behind the door of 182 Rose St Fitzroy Melbourne, you will discover one of Melbourne’s most elegant professional fetish establishments. Perhaps you ache with curiosity to discover what happens within these walls. To satisfy the curious, and inform the uninitiated, we offer this, the first in a series of articles to allow a sneak peek into what lies within and what is new. Lets us set the scene. The Dominas Realm is tucked away discretely in the heart of Melbourne’s fetish region Fitzroy. This double story Victorian terrace (one of the oldest bordello’s in Melbourne), host an ever- evolving feast of delightful debauchery. There are five chambers, each equipped with a vast array of fetish implements and furniture. There is also a private introduction room and reception area with a further spacious informal living room looking out to a sunny Tuscan-style courtyard garden. With a reputable list of established and skilled Mistress’s, Switches, submissive (sexual and non sexual) and Mistress’s in training, The Dominas Realm boasts an excellent and diverse range of services from mild and sensual to extreme. *For the first sneak peek within these walls, we congratulate Mistress Magenta for being the second trainee Mistress to complete The Dominas Realms systematic training early this year. Intrigued by the life style of BDsM for many years, a sadistic at heart, Mistress Magenta is now available to inflict pain on willing victims. She specializes in Female supremacy, humiliation, rope bondage and is skilled in a variety of cock and ball torture. She has a strong and accurate stroke when administering the cane and other forms of Corporal Punishment. Mistress Magenta unique statuesque style is enhanced by her wardrobe of spectacular costumes including tightly tied corsets, latex, PVC skirts, dresses and high heels To grace Mistress Magenta with your wilting presence, a free consultation or appointment can be made via The Dominas Realm. *Recently The Dominas Realm launched a new chamber. Featuring a stunning ‘four poster’ bondage bed with a mirror strategically placed above, opulent deep red paintwork and plush black velvet curtains, this is the ideal chamber for sensual play. Voyeurs will love the dark isolation of the room’s walk-in cupboard concealing a slim stand up cage. An elegant carved chair sits idle in the corner, perfect for a little tie and tease and a rack on the back of the cupboard door displays an array of implements. A delectably rich sensual bedroom with some unexpected twists. *The divine pleasures of Fetish’s - We all have then, lets not deny it! Some are aware of their fetishes. Others chose not to acknowledge them. On the other hand there are those who embrace their Fetish with full gusto. Here at The Dominas Realm we cater for Fetishist of every variety, from the most pure and innocent to the extreme and taboo (with respect of the law of cause). One of our most popular Fetishes is ‘puppy training’. The Mistress’s of The Realm, enjoy nothing better than having a little puppy in tow, to fetch, sit, pat, train, feed and lock away in a cage. To aid in the realism of ‘puppy training’ The Realm has an adorable puppy mask with perky ears and long zipper snout and to cover those huge puppy dog eyes is an attachable blindfold. We also have dog collars and leads for training, feeding bowls and a selection of dog food, rolled up newspaper to whack over the puppy’s nose when misbehaving and a cage to be locked away in. *Latex, Latex, Latex! Black shinny Latex! The Dominas Realm now has an extensive collection of latex. Stocking, pants, skirts, dresses and coats for the cross dressers. Hoods – inflatable, restricted breathing, open face. Bondage mitts and a wonderful full-length cape with an adjoining hood for total encasement. Rubber bit gag, butterfly gag and meters of red latex bandages. The piece of résistance is the body bag, with access holes in all the right places while tightly cocooned. A rubber haven for lovers of latex. Many rubber hugs to Mistress Lady Jayne for her generous donations.







ABN 11609532262 PO Box 102 St Kilda, Vic, 3182. 0408 250 474 Email: Publisher: D. Toulson Design & Layout: Nina Cover Photography Master D


Electra, Dominaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Realm Marquise De Sade Mistress 160 Abode, Cherry, Eagle Leather Chains, Yhe Warehouse, Adelaide Maxxx Black Dvice Hard Core Heaven Sax Fetish, Mistress J, L&Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, kim {MJ} Hellfire Sydney Reactor Rubberwear Master Joe Master Michael Dragon House Farm

Act. The appearance of an advertisment does not necessarily imply the endoresement of the advertiser by Kink-E-Magazine, their staff or agents.Advertisments are provided, photography and art work are published in good faith and on the understanding that the content is legitimate and lawful. Permission to reprint material should be gained from the publisher in writing. Articles do not necessarily represent the opinions of the publisher. Photos or articles about individuals, groups or businesses in this publication does not imply or intend to imply the sexual orientation of person/s or the preference of business. Receipt of manuscripts, letters or photos will be taken by the publisher as permission to print unless the contrary is specified in writing. All published material is copy written by Kink-E-Magazine.

Advertisers are advised that advetising is their responsibility under the Trade Practices


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Michael Masterson

THE HEALTHY PROSTATE One of a Man’s Great Sex Organs

In this article I’ll discuss how to maintain prostate health, how to identify a problem, treatment alternatives if there’s a problem, and I’ll share my own recent experience.

THE PROSTATE The prostate is a small gland, about the size of a walnut in young men, which forms part of the male reproductive system. Its main function is to produce fluid which forms part of your semen and protects and enriches sperm. It is located between the bladder and the urethra (the hollow tube inside the penis through which semen and urine pass out). It is donut shaped, surrounding the entrance to the urethra. The nerves that produce an erection surround the prostate. Hence, the prostate is a fundamental part of our orgasmic sexual experiences. Many of you know how to stimulate the prostate of a partner or yourself, both externally and also internally through your rectum, to enhance your orgasm. Moreover, it is possible using electric sex toys such as an electro catheter in your penis and an electro butt plug to send pulses through your prostate and cause an amazingly spontaneous orgasm without any manual handling at all!

BENIGN PROSTATIC ENLARGEMENT (BPE) As men age, it is common for the prostate to enlarge on the inside, which may start to ‘strangle’ the urethra and reduce the space through which urine passes, leading to obstruction. This is called Benign Prostatic Enlargement (also known as BPH – Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia).. It is non-cancerous itself and does not lead to cancer. Typical symptoms include some or all of: Difficulty in starting to urinate; Sudden urges to urinate; Increased frequency – every 2 hours or more often; Dribbling; Incomplete emptying – both a feeling of same, and a second spurt after you think you have finished; Disrupted sleep due to waking up to urinate 2+ times during the night.



Down below your cock and hidden above your nuts is your Prostate Gland. This is one of our peak sexual organs. A healthy prostate can provide for fantastic sexual pleasure. An unhealthy one can lead to major problems and even death. Many older men experience Benign Prostate Enlargement. Just as many men die of Prostate Cancer each year as do women from breast cancer; in fact, prostate cancer is the second highest cancerous killer of men after skin cancer.

On turning 50 YO I adopted the practice of having an annual health check-up, and this includes a prostate check. The prostate is checked by my GP by inserting a gloved finger through my rectum to feel the prostate gland for size and abnormalities. An alternative test is used if there is any suspicion of a problem – a blood test known as a PSA – Prostate Specific Antigen. As a result of my check-ups I have known for about 8 years that my prostate is enlarged. My urination has increased in frequency, and most nights I wake up once needing to pee. Recently I had a hip operation which involved a Spinal Block anaesthetic, which basically paralyses you from above the waist down the rest of the body so the surgeon can do his work. Following the operation, I was unable to urinate, and for six weeks I suffered the indignity and inconvenience of having a catheter inserted in my urethra through to the bladder, emptying into a drainage bag strapped to my leg. The hospital staff including eventually a Urologist decided my enlarged prostate was the problem (without doing any tests to prove it), and I was duly scheduled for an operation on the prostate, called a TURP. This involves a tube inserted through the urethra into the prostate, and an electrical wire scrapes away the inside of the prostate to enlarge the opening. The results at best are a ‘dry cum’ – your semen goes back into the bladder instead of out of the urethra – and at worst in some men impotence. I don’t know about you, but I think that unnecessarily depriving a man of his sexual functioning in part or in whole is barbaric, especially if there is an alternative. I became increasingly anxious as the date of my operation approached.



I then did two things simultaneously: 1) I saw my GP and asked for a referral to another Urologist for a second opinion. I asked to see a Urologist who was known to consider non-surgical alternatives as possible forms of treatment.

2) Consulting with a friend in USA who has survived the Prostate Cancer experience, I started to take magazine an intensive course of a natural herbal supplement called ProstAvan. This comprises three herbs – Saw Palmetto, Pumpkin Seed extract, and Lycopene – all known overseas for their beneficial effects on prostate health. As the date for my TURP operation got closer, things started to happen to my body under the influence of the ProstAvan. The urine started to flood out beside the catheter. Also, when I checked my sexual functioning by masturbation the semen also spurted out rather than in. In short, my urinary system progressively felt like it wanted to behave normally, but the catheter prevented normal functioning.


When I saw the second Urologist a Trial of Void was ordered – the catheter is removed and you drink lots of water to see what happens. After two hours I was sent home minus the catheter, with things functioning normally as they had before the operation. It was concluded that probably the enlarged prostate was not the cause of the problem, but I had had a ‘frozen bladder’ – a prolonged reaction to the spinal block. Without in any way suggesting that herbal supplements are appropriate and will work for everybody, I can only say ProstAvan worked for me. So the moral of my story includes: As you get older, have an annual health check including the prostate; even if you are young, have a prostate check up anyway if you start to experience any of the symptoms of BPE. Listen to your body for a natural reaction; and if you don’t feel comfortable with what the first doctor says Seek a second opinion, preferably from a doctor who is known to have a different approach. If necessary seek several more opinions, and weigh the recommendations of each one and of the majority in your mind before deciding which course of action to take. Remember, it is ultimately your body and your decision, not the doctor’s. Consider the use of non-surgical approaches to health care when possible and appropriate. In the case of BPE This may include (a) herbal remedies, and /or (b) drug treatment. In my case a drug called Flomaxtra (Tamsulosin Hydrochloride) was also used briefly to improve urinary flow, but I know it is the ProstAvan which has done the real work in restoring my prostate health and maintaining it for four months since. I now take it daily to maintain my Prostate health and hopefully avoid the dreaded TURP operation.

PROSTATE CANCER Prostate cancer is an abnormal growth of prostate cells which form a lump (tumour) in the prostate. In time it will also spread to other organs – especially the bones and lymph nodes. Prostate cancer is much less likely to occur in younger men, but also is more likely to cause death if it does eventuate. In older men, because prostate cancer is slow growing, death from other causes may reduce the incidence of the cancer actually causing death. The symptoms and diagnosis procedure for Prostate Cancer is much the same as for BPE – digital rectal examination, and PSA blood test. You are more at risk if you have a family history of prostate cancer. You should consider seeing your doctor and being tested if you have an onset of urinary problems similar to BPE. Early diagnosis and treatment are more likely to be effective than picking up the problem late. Treatment options include surgical removal of the prostate or radiation therapy.

PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE While you can’t always prevent either BPE or Prostate Cancer, there is some evidence that an adjustment of your diet to reduce the intake of saturated fats and increase your intake of fresh fruit, vegetables and certain trace elements and food components may be beneficial. My personal experience tends to support the latter. And isn’t it interesting that these are the same recommendations for combating the obesity epidemic which too many men (and women) in our communities are suffering from.Other lifestyle changes which may help you maintain health and avoid prostate problems include: Increase your consumption of water and related ‘natural’ products such as herbal teas; Cut down on coffee, tea and alcohol consumption which may be causing you to urinate more often. ‘A healthy mind in a healthy body’ is the traditional saying. But, Brethren, I say unto you: “A healthy prostate in a healthy male sexual system.” REFERENCES: You and Your Prostate, a publication of the Department of Veterans Affairs, Australia. You can download it free at Be a Man: Talk to your doctor about prostate cancer, a brochure produced by the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia. More information on diet and prostate cancer can be found at




Be a Man: Essential facts for you and your family, a brochure produced by the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia. NOTE: ProstAvan is a patented product of Melaleuca of Australia and New Zealand, and is not available over the counter at pharmacies or in supermarkets. Contact me if you want further information on obtaining this product – Other products containing similar or the same ingredients may be available at retail outlets, but I cannot vouch for their effectiveness as I have not used them.

While you can’t always prevent either BPE or Prostate Cancer, there is some evidence that an adjustment of your diet to reduce the intake of saturated fats and increase your intake of fresh fruit, vegetables and certain trace elements and food components may be beneficial. My personal experience tends to support the latter. And isn’t it interesting that these are the same recommendations for combating the obesity epidemic which too many men (and women) in our communities are suffering from. Other lifestyle changes which may help you maintain health and avoid prostate problems include: Increase your consumption of water and related ‘natural’ products such as herbal teas; Cut down on coffee, tea and alcohol consumption which may be causing you to urinate more often. ‘A healthy mind in a healthy body’ is the traditional saying. But, Brethren, I say unto you: “A healthy prostate in a healthy male sexual system.” REFERENCES: You and Your Prostate, a publication of the Department of Veterans Affairs, Australia. You can download it free at Be a Man: Talk to your doctor about prostate cancer, a brochure produced by the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia. More information on diet and prostate cancer can be found at Be a Man: Essential facts for you and your family, a brochure produced by the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia. NOTE: ProstAvan is a patented product of Melaleuca of Australia and New Zealand, and is not available over the counter at pharmacies or in supermarkets. Contact me if you want further information on obtaining this product – Other products containing similar or the same ingredients may be available at retail outlets, but I cannot vouch for their effectiveness as I have not used them. Opinions and recommendations in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent those of any of the organisations mentioned, nor of this magazine.

Flexible Electro Catheters

Prostate in the Body


Opinions and recommendations in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent those of any of the organisations mentioned, nor of this magazine.

Electro Butt Plug


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Sex Tips from D.VICE Backyard fun for guys – complete with power tools Do guys have a G-spot? Guys definitely have a G-spot which is aptly named because of its ability to produce earth shattering orgasms for men. Also known as the P-spot, stimulation of this highly erogenous zone can be extremely pleasurable for men of all ages and sexualities (that’s heterosexual guys too). Stimulating the P-Spot involves anal play, so some men are reluctant to try it because of cultural attitudes that paint it as ‘taboo’ behavior.  Anal sex involves some of the most pleasurable sexual sensations that men can experience. If you’re one of those guys who are clenching your butt cheeks together at this very moment, RELAX! The anal area is just another erogenous zone to explore and enhance your sex play. Many heterosexual men engage in male G-spot play with their wives and female partners. One common misconception is that if a guy is keen to experiment with anal play it indicates he is gay or bisexual. This is totally untrue and at D.VICE we are finding increasing numbers of our heterosexual male customers are keen to explore male G-spot pleasure. Of course many gay and bisexual men enjoy G-spot pleasure too.Men are able to orgasm from G-spot stimulation alone and many guys report a much more intense sensation of orgasm. The terms mind blowing and earth shattering are often used by men talking about their newly discovered pleasure zone. What are you waiting for?

Location location… The male G-spot is actually referring to stimulation of the prostate gland through the wall of the rectum. The prostate gland sits below the bladder and surrounds the urethra. It’s located anally through the anterior wall of the rectum about 5-7 cm in heading towards the front of the body. When men are aroused the prostate often swells. It can feel firm, and may be about the size of a walnut. How to stimulate the male G-spot Incorporating male G-spot stimulation into your masturbation repertoire is a great way to both find your P-spot and discover what kind of sensation drives you wild 1. Go it alone. We recommend that you fly solo for your initial prostate probe, so you are in total control of the pace and depth of your explorations. 2. Relax and clean up. Ensure you have emptied your rectum by going to the toilet. A warm shower with some added soapy attention to the anal area is a great way to relax and can also help lessen any apprehensions you may have about encountering feces, as will the use of a latex glove. 3. Add lubricant. A good quality lube and smooth fingernails are must for successful prostate stimulation. Since the anus does not self-lubricate, you’ll want to use generous amounts of a good quality lube. Lube XXX which is a combined silicone and water-based lubricant is an excellent option. 4. Easy does it. With lube on your fingertip and your anus, gently stimulate the external anal area to get it used to touch. Press gently on your anus opening allowing 10-30 seconds for your sphincter muscles to relax. Once they do your finger should pop in.


5. If you feel discomfort stop. If you continue to insert when the anal muscles are contracted it may be painful so wait again for the muscles to relax.



6. Explore. Once inside, curve your finger toward your belly button, and feel for a textured, ridged area about 5-7 centimeters inside. The prostate is often described as similar to that of the surface of a walnut. 7. Experiment. Prostates enjoy a variety of sensations from firm pressure to rhythmic movement to vibrations, so try some different movements until you find your favorite. 8. Add toys. Toys that are designed for prostate massage are ideal for male G-spot stimulation and can be easier to maneuver than your hand. Always ensure toys are designed for anal play and that for safety a part of the toy always remains out side the body 9. Add partners. Once you know what you like, it’ll be that much easier to show your lover how to please you!

Toys for Boys

An abundance of toys await you to help discover the kind of P-Spot stimulation you like best. When shopping for a potential P-Spot toy, keep in mind that many G-Spot toys also make good prostate toys, and that a curve toward the tip is the key feature to look for. A toy that is firm and smooth will deliver greater pressure and if it has a handle this will make for easy manipulation. Medical grade plastic, acrylic, glass or silicone are all excellent materials for male G-spot toys. Lubricant is essential so make sure you stock up. Start off with your finger (or your partners) wearing a latex glove and then progress to a silicone buttplug. Buttplugs are designed to give a full sensation anally and have an oval base to fit comfortably between the butt cheeks. A buttplug can be worn during other forms of sex play and if a vibrator is held against the base you’ll be smiling. Prostate massagers are just for men and are designed specifically to massage and stimulate the male G-spot. Introducing vibration can feel sensational so check out the favorites recommended here. These Vibrators are designed for prostate stimulation. Who said vibes were just for women? Using a silicone or glass dildo can be lots of fun with your partner to explore different sensations and positions. The Serpentine is great for prostate massage too. The next step is to explore the adventures of strap-on play with your partner. Whilst this whole concept may seem challenging for many guys it’s often a huge turn on for men to be the receptive partner and many Australian couples are discovering the joys of strap-on play. Using an anal relaxant gel such as Innuendo can really enhance your experience of G-spot sensation. Designed to be massaged onto the anus before penetration this product helps to relax and condition the anal muscles. It’s essential that this is combined with safe anal play technique and lubricant but is definitely a popular option for those indulging in strap-on play.

Anal health

People are often worried about coming into contact with fecal matter during anal play. The reality is if you have a healthy digestive system and go to the loo regularly you should be fine. Make sure you empty you rectum before engaging in anal play. One option is to use a douche to clean the rectum before anal play. A douche kit has a small bulb that you fill with warm water. You gently insert the tube into the anus and squeeze the water into the rectum, then empty into the toilet. It’s not advisable to douche too regularly as you can strip the bowel of healthy bacteria. Another concern is that anal sex will result in incontinence in later life. This is not true as long as you are following safe anal play guidelines. You are stimulating and exercising the anal muscles therefore keeping them toned and developing more awareness and control.


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Safe sex & cleaning toys

Always use a condom & lube for anal penetration with a penis

Using a condom on toys makes cleaning a breeze

Use latex gloves for penetration with the fingers

Always use toys that have non porous surface

Clean toys with a mild antibacterial soap, rinse and air dry

Silicone toys can be dipped in boiling water to sterilise

Always clean toys thoroughly if sharing between partners

Never go from anal to vaginal play without washing the toy or changing condom or glove

An Orgasm a Day! An Australian study (the results of which were published in the August 2003 issue of the British Journal of Urology) concluded that men who masturbate on a regular basis between the ages of 20 and 50 are less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life. In fact, men who masturbate to ejaculation more than five times per week are a third less likely to develop the disease. Since prostate fluid can store carcinogens in addition to good things like potassium and zinc, regular ejaculation has a cleansing effect, since it’s flushing out the bad and replacing it with the good. Also prostate stimulation has been practiced amongst some cultures for hundreds of years to ensure good prostate health. Toxins can get stored in prostatic fluid so if the prostate regularly releases this it cleanses the toxins.

So prostate play is not only fun, it is also good for you! Nexus This ingenious prostate massager gives firm massaging pressure to the prostate and the clever ball bearing simulates a licking sensation on the perineum. Made from medical grade plastic the Nexus is available in a few different models to suit both those new to G-spot play and experienced players. The clever designer incorporates a handle that can be manipulated either by your self or your lover to increase the incredible sensation.

Stubby Vibe Fantastic for anal play the hooked end on the Stubby vibe delivers exquisite vibration for male G-spot pleasure. The controls are intelligently designed so they can be operated easily with one hand and the silky smooth silicone is flexible and warms to the body temperature. Designed & manufactured by Fun Factory in Germany the Stubby is am essential vibe for every toolbox.

Strap-On Harness & Silicone Dildo

So you’re ready to ‘bend over boyfriend’? The next step is to invest in a quality silicone dildo and strap on harness combination. D.VICE have been manufacturing quality silicone dildos for more than a decade in and D.VICE dildos are sold all over the world. Your girl is spoilt for choice with the fantastic range of harness styles to choose from. If the leather look turns you on then the Groover and Hipster are sexy options. If the cowboy theme is more your style, check out the Rangler or for the surfie look the Beachcomber is waterproof (made from neoprene) and ideal for water play!

You can find more information and a great range of sex gear for women and men at Or head on in to the D.VICE Melbourne Store 2-4 Bridge Rd (Punt Rd end) Richmond. Open 7 days. 42

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The Story of a Hysterical Women and her Saviour. By MaXXX Black


s soon as you mention vibrators to most people in the know you can’t get them to shut up about how much they love them. Well, maybe not everyone, but definitely all the luscious girls and boys here at MaXXX Black and Kink-E readers. But have you ever stopped to think how they came about? I hadn’t till recently, when I found out that we have all been self medicating for the dreaded “Hysteria”. Hysteria was a once common medically diagnosed disease, exclusive to women - lucky us! Its history can be traced back to ancient Greece, where Plato, the philosopher, had described it as the uterus wandering through a woman’s body eventually strangling her as it reached her chest. Interestingly one physician in the second century noted that hysteria was caused by sexual deprivation in particularly passionate women. The way that they would be treated was to recommend intercourse if married, marriage if single and if all else fails vaginal massage by a midwife or physician. Well I never! The symptoms of the dreaded hysteria included faintness, nervousness, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in the abdomen, muscle spasms, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, erotic fantasies, tendencies to cause trouble, and the best one yet, moisture inside the vagina. Treatment for hysteria was for the physician or midwife to bring the women to “paroxysm” or as we know it today, orgasm. Unfortunately all the way up to the 20th century women were believed to be incapable of sexual desire and pleasure. The “ideal” woman would only engage in sex to reproduce, as it was thought to serve no other purpose for her. And I’m sure we can all agree that would have led to even more hysteria. Relief through ‘paroxysm’ was never thought to be an orgasm as women were not capable of sexual feelings let alone the possibility of reaching sexual climax. So with necessity being the mother of invention, entrepreneurial physicians began giving their poor dear hands a rest and mechanizing the process. Many different designs came out, including Hydrotherapy, which is quite simply shooting water at their patients’ genitals. Although it worked it proved to be extremely messy and expensive. In the 18oos a British physician invented the first electric vibrator. Nothing like what we now know and love, it was a cumbersome device that was a permanent fixture in a physician’s office. This proved to be a huge breakthrough in the treatment of hysteria as it allowed women to reach paroxysm in less than ten minutes and the dear doctors’ hands were overworked no more. When electricity became available for home use in the late 19th century everything became so much easier in many ways. Women became avid consumers of electrical appliances, first the sewing machine, then the fan, the tea kettle, the toaster, and would




you believe it, the vibrator. Yes, that’s right; the humble vibrator beat the electric vacuum, iron, and frying pan into our homes by at least 10 years. The electric vibrator was an instant hit. They produced paroxysm quickly, reliably, as often as you could possibly want and without having to leave your home. Women’s magazines widely advertised these vibrators with claims such as “Relieves All Suffering” and “Cure Diseases”. These machines were so popular that by 1917 there were more vibrators than toasters in American homes. However in the 1920’s vibrators began to appear in erotic photography and films which unfortunately made ‘respectable’ women abandon their much loved vibrators. The ads completely disappeared from women’s magazines until the 1950’s when they came back as ‘massagers’ rather than vibrators. They had not only disguised themselves in their names but also what shapes and forms they took on; hairbrushes, back scratchers and even ones that were designed to fit into your vacuum. They stayed advertised this way until the 1970’s when pioneers like Betty Dodson helped us realise what we were capable of. She introduced us to the Hitachi Magic Wand (still one of the best ‘massagers’ around), got us masturbating again and gave us our orgasm rather than the ‘medical’ paroxysm. Today most self respecting women own or will own at least one of these magnificent devices, and they should see it for what it is - a dirty vile sin……… ha! This is something that we need to take charge of. We need to own our orgasm, for this is something that many women before us were not able to have. We have learnt so much and are still learning about what joys our body can bring us, be it through clitoral, vaginal, anal or g-spot play. So keep practicing and having fun for the people that were taught that it was wrong to have those feelings and sensations. Oh… and of course come and visit us at MaXXX Black, either on line at or come on in and visit us at our Newtown store, Level 1, 264 King St if you’re in the area. We have everything a self-appreciating women could want including educational books like ’Tickle Your Fancy-A Woman’s Guide To Sexual Self Pleasure’ and ‘ToyGasms: The Insiders guide to Sex Toys and techniques’ and many more wonderfully informative guides on everything your devious sexual mind can think of. And of course we stock everything that you could think of to use for some ‘self- medicating’ to treat your awful case of hysteria! In fact, I think that I feel some symptoms of hysteria coming on right now. Well I’m off to cause some trouble… So from everyone here at MaXXX Black, stay safe and keeping having fun.



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Consensual Slavery

We often hear the comment “ i am a slave” and we see many people choosing to identify themselves as slave rather than submissive, but are they really being true to the concept of slavery or is it just that it “sounds better” than submissive. Is it a more romantic notion or more for the shock value, or is that many people do not understand the word submissive – slave is a term that most are familiar with. To understand what a slave really is, as compared to a submissive, we need to explore the actual meaning of slave or of slavery. The Definition of slavery and of a slave: • The state of one bound in servitude as the property of a slaveholder or household. • One deprived of personal freedom and compelled to perform labour or services. A slave in the real sense of the word, is held against his or her will, from the time of capture or purchase, or from birth. This is the definition and the knowledge that most people associate with slavery in the vanilla world, but what about in the D/s world? I personally know several people who identify as slaves – however and with no disrespect intended to anyone, i can honestly say that i only know one who really lives as a slave - who has consented to the life of consensual slavery (the way i perceive it to be) – he is controlled every moment of his life. He is by his owner’s side constantly, where ever she is, that is where he must be. He has no outside life, no job except that of her slave, no say in what he does or does not do. She clothes him, feeds him, and is responsible for every single aspect of his existence. He is punished for wrongdoings, and rewarded when he does well. A punishment could mean to be chained up, under the stairs for a day or two or more, with only a thin mattress and a bucket – the bucket does not get emptied until he is released. A reward maybe to be put into bondage. This slave has a computer but is not allowed to use it for anything other than family emails, maybe once every few months. I do not know any other person who has this restriction, slave or submissive. To me, this is true consensual slavery. This slave entered into this relationship knowing what it would be like, he knew the conditions and the last decision he made was to become a slave to his owner. He will never again have to worry about anything, he has passed control over to her, of every single aspect of his life without exception. Every other slave or submissive i know may talk of doing that, but in reality, there are little things that are kept, some small aspects of control. For example, i have given control of my life to my Master, but He does not tell me when to wash the clothes, or when to clean the toilet, i choose when those things are done, He has given me that responsibility, so in effect i have control over certain things. A true slave would not have even that tiny measure of control – a slave’s life would be one of orders and obedience at every single step, in every single moment. A few years ago, when i was still very new to this lifestyle and before i met my current Master, i was introduced to a person who told me she was a 24/7 slave. I was very interested in her life, and asked many questions. It became apparent to me very early on, that though she identified as a slave, she was in fact no more than an abused person, in a relationship with a man who called himself her master but was actually a horrible piece of work who had no idea what D/s or BDSM was about. They did not live together as he was married, she was not allowed to contact him at all, but was expected to be available at a moment’s notice for anything he asked of her. Now, i am available for anything my Master asks of me too, but there is a huge difference. This so called Master, expected my friend to work as a prostitute and hand over all her money, he expected her to have gang bangs every week and video them, and present the tape to him, he demanded that she bring drugs back to him when she went overseas, he demanded that she find him a virgin – and that if she could not then she was to supply her own teenage daughter. He would beat her – not flog her or spank her but beat her with fists to her face and other parts of her body. There was never any after care, nor did he care for her welfare in any way.




The sad thing was that this person thought that was what consensual slavery was about, she thought she had made a choice to be abused, and signed a contract that said there was no escape. Two examples of “consensual slavery” they are at opposite ends of the scale, and yet there is so much in between them. My choice of the two would be the first example, to consent to be a slave but to know without a doubt that you are cared for and valuable to your owner. The second example is abuse, and nothing more. The other concept of “being a slave” is that of a sex slave, and there are many who believe that BDSM is about this type of behaviour – that to be a slave in the bedroom is to ‘be a slave’ Many people who are searching for slavery or D/s are in fact only searching for kinky sex or submission in the bedroom, and of course there is nothing wrong with that either. I believe that slavery or submission is a personal perspective, and that there is no right or wrong way. Many would call me a slave, i live with my Master in a 24/7 situation, i am there to do His bidding, and i have no control over my life, it is in His hands. I do however, have a say in certain aspects of things that affect me – and my Master does listen to my point of view – the outcome may not change, and the decision is His alone, but at least He listens. If i was a slave in the true sense of the word, i would not have a right to voice my opinion, or to offer any suggestions, i would simply have to do as i am told whether or not i felt it was right. Consensual Slavery then, is something that many of us identify with, and we live the way we believe a slave should live – the degree of control and freedom ultimately rests with the Owner – and of course it is His or Her perception of what a slave is, that determines what life is like for the one who is owned.

kim ©2007 Property of Master Joe


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DragonHouse presents Dinner in the Dungeon

Dragon House has always been that amazing “B&B with a twist”, but remember there is ever more than one twist (Time for Wicked Evil Grin) Welcome to something unforgettable, this is not simply a dinner it is a journey. Every sense will be awakened, enticed and seduced, sight, sound, flavours, textures. Food is not something you simply eat it is an experience prepared for you by knowing hands with passion with fire and perfection. Dress is from formal to birthday suit it’s always your choice. The dungeon in its soothing shades of blue and purple entice your eye to where many tools of pleasure, delight and of course touch flauntingly hang. Don’t be distracted by the cage or leather restraints that drape over the discipline administrating bench, draw your eyes to the small table covered in crisp white linen, set with silver cutlery and crystal glasses, candles freshly lit for just that hint of romance. Two chairs close enough so voices may whisper intimate lusting, and warmth and excitement may radiate with light touch. One is easily removed for someone to kneel, perhaps this is the way that is chosen for them to dine tonight, on their knees and hand fed from their owners plate, every one is catered for. As you are seated, anticipation grows. Your culinary journey has begun reading the menu, it’s your choice of meats, flavours and sauces. What did you choose to begin, was it hot delicate creamy, was it cold crisp and precise, aromas of herbs and spices tender meats and fresh vegetables and salads. You may choose your menu or simply choose to be in safe hands that will create it for you. Dessert is, amazing cakes, tarts or puddings, created with perfection, and then comes cheese a selection of the finest fruits nuts and berries. Wines are matched to every course to harmonise the palate. Dinner is superb so intimate, so private, so hauntingly arousing, now for coffee to sing to the soul. You will not forget this experience for it is unique. The menu changes seasonally or to the whim of the guests, catering for varied specific dietary requirements. Nothing is too much trouble, just speak to rose. You have dined well. The rest of the night is yours to indulge in the pleasures of the dungeon, or you may relax in conversation. DragonHouse bids you welcome. rose




Specialised Profiles By Miss Cherry

My Life as an Adult Baby, by Baby Jennie As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to wear nappies and plastic panties.     I always wanted to be a girl. I remember cutting leg holes in one of Mummy’s frilly plastic shower caps, in an effort to fashion a pair of wetproof panties. I spent many happy Saturday afternoons between the ages of six and eight being dressed in nappies and bottle-fed by these cute little girls. But when I was eight, the father of two of the girls asked them to bring me around one day. He took me aside and told me it was no longer appropriate for his five and six-year-old daughters to be undressing and diapering a boy of my age, and the baby games would have to stop. I remember being embarrassed and humiliated, but most of all saddened because I couldn’t be their baby any more.  I used to stretch my navy school jumper over my shorts, till it looked like I was wearing a knitted miniskirt, and mince around the school grounds like a saucy little schoolgirl.   By the age of sixteen, I was dressing up in girl’s clothes. One day during the school holidays, my father returned home , and he caught me fully made-up and wearing my best new lingerie. He ripped the sexy bra, suspender belt and panties from my shivering frame, and thrust me under the shower to scrub the make-up off my face. At the commencement of the next term at boarding school, I had an appointment with a psychiatrist every Monday morning for the next eighteen months. After I ‘completed’ my therapy, my parents sent me to stay with some family friends overseas for four weeks. So I was sent to Japan. Years later I started visiting the B&D parlours had sharpened my taste for punishment and humiliation. Then about 4 years ago, Mistress Cassandra took me to my first B&D party for ‘kinky people’, and my AB life just took off like a skyrocket! First it was Conrad’s place in Balmain, then Hellfire when it was still in Kings Cross, then to Cherry’s parties at Clovelly, and eventuating with me attending Hard Core Heaven II at Turramurra. I went to these parties dressed in my thickest nappies and prettiest plastic panties bulging out from under my precious toddler frocks, my long hair bound up in frilly fluffy pigtails. Women thought I looked cute (?) and some offered to change my wet nappies - offers I eagerly accepted!  I met leather workers at the parties who made my pink leather ankle and wrist cuffs, and my beautiful soft leather toddler harness with the matching pink baby reins. I now have a pink padded change table and my own AB-sized wooden playpen and highchair, and a Nanny that looks after me 2-3 evenings per week. Plus there are the various ‘Aunties’ who like to come over and babysit me, and sometimes discipline me when I’ve been bad.  Since I chose to reveal my AB side to the fetish world, sometimes I feel my life is gradually turning into every adult baby’s fantasy dream. All I want to leave you with is this. ‘Don’t give up your dreams, babies! Fantasies CAN come true!’ I don’t know how long this wonderful period of my life is going to last, but here’s hoping I’ll soon be having my diapers changed every day of the week, several times per day, as well as being pampered, dressed and treated like the little baby girl I have always been in my heart. Hugs and kisses to all from Baby Jennie



Cherry’s Wrap

Hi everyone,

Getting 2 Know U Pain & Pleasure Dinner and magazine Play Party went so well considering it  was a cold winters night on the long weekend. The house was jam packed  with over 60 kinksters. Julian & anita put on one of the best shows for us kinksters. Not only did they put on a outstanding Thudding performance but Julian did a lot of explaining first about the display. Everyone was fascinated. Many other Displays were done on the night, Arcane & common did a flogging,paddling display, Mistress Maria did some fancy breast needling, Mistress Kat did a flogging and whipping  show. A norti subbie girl did caning on david and lets not forget The Mat who got trampled  on. All the food went and the party did not wrap up till early  morning. Parties are held 1st Saturday Night of every  month all year.

Contact : cherry 0418863311

Attended Hard Core Heaven Play party, a great  night with plenty happening, though it  was cold the rain held off for a few performances . Booty from Qld was in attendance which always brings lots of entertainment for the crowd, with Mistress Rosina taking booty too his limit with spanking, flogging and whipping all taking place. Master Peter & jules did a wonderful needle display with crystal string making a  fancy pattern highlighted by the lighting twinkling on the string. Many other performances took place all  night. A great party with Master Tony & angel ann being superb hosts.

For info : 0418450506

Hellfire is always a great meeting place with plenty of opportunity to join in with a display of your own or enjoy the great shows that are on  during the  night. This event is a very pan sexual night with all walks of every  life  joining in. A  great meeting  place. Hellfire is on the 3rd Friday Night of  every month. Contact Ultra : 0414734292 50th Birthday Party is coming up for Chris Michaels who has been involved with in the Sydney Kink scene since threshold  days. A kinky Play Party is On its way! For all you kinky information  refere to the kink calendar  NSW:


Or give me a call : cherry 0418863311 cherryCherry 0418863311

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