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The Beauford Club Magazine

The Beauford Club

Winter 2015/16 Issue 104


The Beauford Club Magazine

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The Beauford Club Magazine

Contents 4 Committe members 6 Chairman –Dennis Murphy Christmas in Austraila 8 Ovenden’s Offering Important updates from club secretary 11 Club Regalia/ Spares 13 Show dates 14 Annual General Meeting Notice & Agenda

Next edition David Cornforth’s Beauford

15 From the Editor

Derek Bracegirdle 16 Annual Club Subscriptions Important instructions for all members His first Beauford encounter

18 Beauford Hardtop Tony Harkett takes us through creating & fitting 23 No Two Alike Another Beauford love story

26 V8 Engines Engine options for your Beauford 28 And Finally Tommy Cooper 1921-1984 3


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The Chairman’s Page Welcome to winter! That was our reaction as we got back home from spending Christmas and the New Year with our sons and their families in Australia. We came from 39°C to 39°F. We had travelled out on 16th December and were supposed to arrive at Melbourne airport at 6.30pm the following evening, but the flight was delayed and it was after midnight before we finally reached our accommodation on the 17th. Our car had come for us at 5am in the morning, so our total journey time had been over 32 hours. The temperature had been up to 37°C during the day and the flat was stiflingly hot. All we could do was have a cold shower and collapse on the bed. (No, please, don’t feel too sorry for us.) The next two days were hotter still with a top temperature of 43° (109°F) on the 19th. The advice is to lower the blinds, shut the windows, put on the air-con or go to the shopping mall where it’s nice and cool. This being Melbourne though, the weather changes very quickly: Christmas Day 35°C, Boxing Day 21°C. We came home on the 12th January which turned out to be good timing because in Melbourne on the 13th it reached its highest this summer of 43·6°C but then only 18°C the next day. We had more sensible warm to hot temperatures for most of our time in the city, but bush fires were burning on the south coast. One town, Wye River on the Great Ocean Road lost 116 homes on Christmas Day. Then, just before we came home there were reports from Yarloop, south of Perth

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on the west coast, which was almost totally destroyed by fire. If your house is flooded it must be devastating but people were literally left with nothing after the fires had swept through. While all this was going on storm Frank and the floods in this country were also making the TV news in Australia. Were any of you affected by the bad weather? The only thing to happen to us was our TV aerial came loose just before New Year, but it was spotted by a neighbour who arranged for it to be replaced while we were away. The only Beauford related thing going on here is the monthly charging of the battery. I’ve got a couple of things to do when it warms up, including repairs to the hood as well as give the car a general service, but it’s staying in the garage for now. I’m writing this on what the press are calling Blue Monday. Apparently Christmas is fading into memory, the bills are coming in and the next pay day is still more than a week away. One suggested cure is to plan and book a summer holiday, but I can’t see how that will help with the financial side of things. I’m going to have a look for some local car shows to put in the diary. One I know of already is at Hamstreet on 12th June and Appledore also hosts a good day out in July. These are both ‘country fair’ type of events with various stalls and events as well as the transport displays. Do let the editor know of any shows in your area that might be of interest to our members so we can have a coming events listing. Also, if any of you were out in your cars during the recent snow, please send pictures in to the editor, they are always impressive. That’s all for now, please keep in touch through the magazine. Dennis

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The Beauford Club Magazine

Ovenden’s Offering Liz OVENDEN’S OFFERING A happy new year to you all, and I do hope that it will be a good and prosperous year for you all. Hopefully none of you have been effected by the awful floods that we have witnessed on the TV over the last few weeks. Here in the Midlands we have had our share of rain but probably because it is so flat we have not had the problem of rain running down hillsides into overflowing rivers and causing the floods, My pond has never been so full and up until recently we have still been feeding the fish which is most unusual as they normally stop eating in October when the weather gets colder, but the mild weather has made them active until recently. This morning we woke up to about an inch of snow, but it is starting to melt now and I will use this time of not wanting to go out to write my article. I must confess that Owen did say that he wanted to make a start of the magazine just over a week ago, but we have had major problems with the computer. It started to slow down a month or so ago, but we just put it down to high pre Christmas activity on the internet. However, it eventually ground to a halt and would not even start up. We have a very good computer doctor near us who works on a no fee, no fix

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basis. We took the computer into him and it turns out that the hard disc had been getting corrupted and eventually had no space left to use. He told us that the disc had been running for three years and nine months – although how he knew that I don’t know. We don’t tend to turn the computer off as it has been running our CCTV system (we’ve now bought a separate recorder to do this so it can be turned off). On getting the computer back we had to sort out all the printers and hope that they had managed to recover our files from the old disc. Fortunately, about 90% of stuff was recovered but the 10% which was missing just happened to be (naturally) what we used the most. An old back up helped as Tony was able to recover files from that, but all my miniaturist files were gone, which was very frustrating, especially as I was half was through doing their accounts and had not got a printed copy – back to square one, but I guess these things are sent to try us! We have also taken advantage of this “blip” to once again install Windows 10 and I am currently in the hate it mode, but I guess I’ll get used to it, eventually. Very frustrating that it wants to do what it wants to do and not what you want it to do! In a month or so all the non wedding members will be getting their Beaufords out of hibernation and ready for the warmer weather (hopefully) and dreaming of going out with the top down and the sun beating down on your heads. I don’t envy those of you with wedding cars as it must be a nightmare trying to keep them looking clean and beautiful in this extremely mucky weather.

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Car Workshop Manuals Tony has been having a clear out of his car manuals and before we dump them can anyone make use of a Haynes Ford sohc & cvh, petrol Sierra including Sapphire Workshop Manual 1982-June 1997. There is also a Peugeot/Talbot diesel engine 1982 to 1994 1.7 and 1.9 litre Owners Workshop Manual (our first Beauford was a diesel). If anyone is interested all we ask is the cost of postage unless you can collect either from us at home or from Stoneleigh in May. Not sure of postage costs but probably in the region of +/- £4.00. Please contact either Liz or Tony. Editor I know most of you will agree that Owen did a splendid job with his first edition and I know that he has received some articles for this one and possibly future editions, so please, however small please do put pen to paper or fingers to keyboards and let him have any small titbits which may be of interest, whether serious of funny. Beauford Registrations Once again a reminder that if you own a Beauford which is still registered as a Cortina or Sierra then the DVLA are very likely to pick up on this – it’s just a matter of time. I have recently heard from a member who bought a car only to discover that it has never been through an SVA/IVA test and now he is unable to tax it until it has gone through the test. This has resulted in a lot of work having to be done to the car and obviously a lot of money and time involved. Please therefore if you are thinking of buying a used car please check its registration documents and ask the owner to get it through the test first before you buy it. If you are the owner of one of these cars and want to sell it, then please do get it sorted before selling. 10


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Regalia/Spares

Non Members Headlamp rims pair £55 pair Beauford scroll £25 Heavy chrome badge £25 Blue/chrome badge £20 Sew on badge £2 Old style key ring £3 New type key ring £5 Lapel/tie/cap pin £3 S/steel bumper end tube £5 Bumper end tube caps £10 R/board strip end caps £1 each

Members £40 pair £20 £20 £16 £1.50* £2.50 £4.50 £2.50 £4.50 £9.50 £0.75 each

* available on ebay from a different seller for £4 upwards so what a bargain we have All the above prices are plus postage Hoods and Hood Covers Please contact me for details of the guy who makes the hoods and hood covers.

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Flying Lady bonnet mascots As mentioned in the last magazine I was expecting the new flying ladies to arrive imminently. They did come, arriving as agreed in their brass casting state which we were going to get chromed. However, when we inspected them they were not very good, some were not even and there was virtually no detail to them, so I had no option but to return them for scrap and melting down. Since then I have spoken to the original people (before Christmas) who were going to have them cast but were let down by their suppliers and having just spoken to them again and they have now created a new flying lady in aluminium, a mould has been taken from this and it is now at the casters and I am told that they should not be too much longer. As soon as I have more definitive news I will contact all those people who have expressed interest in buying one. Isadora Duncan – our flying lady For those of you who don’t know, the flying lady bonnet mascot is based on Isadora Duncan, who was born in 1877 in San Francisco and who in her early 20s moved to Europe to become a dancer. She was not a classical ballet dancer but more a free spirited Bohemian dancer who did not conform to what was expected of dancers in the 20s. She was also a Bohemian by nature and lived a very eccentric life when not dancing and loved free flowing dresses and long scarves.

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She was a great believer in free love and had two small children who in 1913 were drowned in an accident when the car they were riding in plunged over a bridge and into the Seine in Paris. On the 14th September 1927 she was a passenger in a band new convertible sports car which she was learning to drive. As she leaned back in her seat to enjoy the sea breeze her enormous red scarf somehow blew into the well of the rear wheel on the passenger side. It wound around the axle, tightening around her neck and dragging her from the car and onto the cobblestone street. She died instantly. Moral: Beware of travelling in your Beauford with the top down and a long scarf around your neck. Shows - 2016 I can now confirm that the date for Stoneleigh this year will be held on the early May Bank holiday which is Sunday 1st and Monday 2nd May. I have booked the same spot as last year which is right opposite the top entrance to the cattle sheds (or Exhibition Hall 3 as it is now called). Hope to see you all there. In 2015 Peterborough’s second Classic and Vintage Vehicle Show was an excellent success, attracting approximately 500 vehicles over the weekend and more than 3,000 visitors from all over the region and further afield. This year the event will take place at the same Embankment venue during the weekend of 3rd and 4th September 2016. You can register your vehicle here www.peterborough.gov.uk/classicvehicle

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ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING I have booked the AGM in the usual small downstairs room in the Warwick Hall Conference Centre at the end of Avenue M for 3.00 p.m. on Sunday 1st May. I am not sure if the next magazine will be out in time before Stoneleigh so just to be safe than sorry I am putting the AGM Agenda in this edition and again in the next if it does go out in time. If there is anything else you would like discussed at the meeting then please let me know beforehand. Once again, I would appreciate if all members attending the show on Sunday give up one hour of their time to attend the meeting, which will ensure that we do have a quorum of members. Notice is hereby given that the 2016 Annual General Meeting of the Beauford Club will be held at 3.00 p.m. on Sunday 1st May in the Warwick Hall Conference Centre, NAC Stoneleigh AGENDA 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

8. 9. 10.

Minutes of the 2015 Annual General Meeting to be approved Chairman’s Report Treasurer’s Report Secretary/Membership Secretary’s Report Editor’s Report Webmaster’s Report Election/Resignation of Committee a. Chairman b. Treasurer c. Secretary/Membership Secretary d. Editor e. Web master f. Committee Members Club Activities – different shows to attend Club facilities (improvements/changes) Any other business

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The Beauford Club Magazine

From the Editor Hello again in this my second Beauford club magazine. Ive decided to change the format a little. There will always be something from our Secretary Liz Ovenden and our Chairman Dennis Murphy –and of course a few notes from me. Adding to the regular articles I’m keen to share members experiences with their Beaufords. Following the response from the last edition I have selected Tony Harkett’s fantastic and detailed account of his hardtop for his stunning Beauford this time. I still have some others too so don't worry if you don't see your story immediately after you sent it to me. I’m also including a technical section which in the last edition featured the Ford Pinto engine & this time an overview of the Rover V8 engine that can be fitted in a Beauford. If you want any particular mechanical or technical matter covered please contact me so I can research it for future editions. I’m very aware that a lot of these cars are in the hands of Wedding car providers (including myself) but there are some pure enthusiasts out there –its these people I would like to hear more from. Owning a Beauford is a statement, its an unusual car and in my opinion one of the best looking kit cars on the road. Remember you can get in touch with me by email at Editor@Beaufordclub.org.uk or phone 07519654526 or Facebook –where we have created a club page that you can join and post discussions to the whole group or privately. The modern world of communication seems to have endless possibilities to communicate no matter what the distance, just take a leaf out of Tim Peake’s recent activity “ tweeting a selfie” on his space walk or phoning home ( getting the wrong number though) from space.

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Subscriptions

Subscriptions are due on the 1st March. This is for all members except those who have joined in the last few months, whose membership is carried over for the next year. I would be very grateful if you could pay promptly, and if you don’t want to rejoin please let me know so that I don’t have to keep sending out reminders, because I know that there are those who genuinely do forget because of other commitments. There are no recriminations if you do not want to stay a member, but again, please let me know. As mentioned in previous magazines, the subs are now £15.00 with the wedding page listing staying as previously at £10.00 and enclosed with this magazine are the renewal forms which can be either posted or scanned and emailed to me at liz.ovenden@beaufordclub.org.uk. If you wish to do a BACS payment via on line banking the club’s bank account details are: HSBC Sort Code 40-39-11 Account 82095203 The Beauford Club Please insert as a reference your membership number or name (number is better as we do have a couple of members with the same name) Or if you want to carry on sending cheques then that is fine. Overseas members can, as previously use paypal by making a payment to payments@beaufordclub.org.uk again using your number or name as a reference. Those of you who made standing orders last year can change them via your own bank account, either on line or via telephone banking. Finally, if you make a payment early, then membership cards will probably not arrive until March as I make them all in one go and it is a bit time consuming. 16


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Creating a Perfect Hardtop Tony Harkett Owen, our new editor, has asked me if I could write something about the making and fitting of the hardtop for my 2 door Beauford - Happy to oblige, but I suppose the question is why did I do it? Well although my improved soft top is great, it's not exactly ideal for winter use in the UK, and besides that I have always really liked the look of the hardtop so I decided I needed one, but with the intent on that it should be a quick change for the soft top. I bought the whole hard top kit -moulding, windows, seals, rubbers etc from David at Beauford cars and when I collected it I was surprised how light it was. That was soon to change. When I got it home and started work it was obvious that the basic moulding left something to be desired (more of that later) and required a lot of attention to the unpleasant, sharp and itchy fibreglass to make it fir the car. To this end I was very fortunate to be able to borrow a large empty workshop and a Fork Lift truck. The fork truck was invaluable as the moulding needed to be lifted on & off countless times before the fit was acceptable. It is vital to cover the body sides whole doing this fitting or the paint will definitely suffer. The windows are quite a job on their own. The window areas of the hardtop have to be cut out of the fibreglass and if you have never fitted this type of window before its well worth studying the rubber moulding and understanding how it works first, this way you will cut & trim the openings to the right size first time and not have to alter them when you find that you had cut them too small (yes- I did cut them too small!!).Another worthwhile tip is to realise that the rubbers are originally designed to retain windows in thin steel panels, so they don't take too kindly to working with thick fibreglass. As with any fibreglass moulding the thickness of the hardtop varies enormously and it is well 18


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worth spending time on the cut-outs to ensure that the window seals sit nicely in them before you finally try to fit the windows. The outside finish of my Hardtop was grey Gel-Coat with many imperfections and moulding "flash lines" - this would need a lot of attention if it was going to be painted, but I decided on a leap into the unknown and to cover it with Dark Blue Vinyl and so the surface preparation needed far less fitness. Fortunately David at Beaufords had heard of a good tip to use a hairdryer to heat the Vinyl which helps to coax it round the very curvy hardtop. More useful information was available from "Woolies" where I purchased all of the trimming materials. Due to the available width of Vinyl, and my lack of expertise, I decided to fit it in 3 sections which proved to be a good choice because to allowed me to work on two very complicated sides individually. The join was then disguised by Aluminium trims. Overall it was a great success, apart from the two areas known only to me & my close family! The inside of the Hardtop is of course the same shape as the outside but rough & such presents a multitude of problems to the amateur headlining nonexpert such as me, but I discovered a very useful Haynes book about upholstery and trimming classic cars which revealed how the professionals cope with the problem. Briefly this involves moulded wooden battens attached at intervals to the inside of the hardtop which serve to smooth out irregular shapes. The headlining 19


The Beauford Club Magazine

material is then attached to rails -this does inevitably decrease the headroom slightly but on the plus side it makes a better surface to bang your head on. The Hardtop had & still has, a tendency to spring open at the sides and so I devised a simple adjustable mounting for the "B" pillar so that the sides could be individually adjusted to be straight with the body sides, which is important to ensure a good(ish) seal for the door windows. The mountings are then covered by fiendishly complicated wooden trims that took hours to make. As I have included some photos I'll gloss over the finer cosmetic details of the work so me now come to the first fit to the car of the almost completed Hardtop in order to sort out the holding down fixings. As soon as the top was on the car it was clear that something was badly amiss................the top was leaning over to the left.................Oh Calamity! A few minutes with a tape measure revealed that the mounting flange inside the top which sits on the car body which is a separate item bonded into the hardtop after moulding, it had been bonded in too low & wonky. I was by now well past the point of no return to Beauford and so I decided that the only answer was to build up the flange to achieve a level fit. Not too difficult but very fiddly and annoying at this late stage. It had not been obvious at the forklift stage as the body was covered with masking tape & paper.

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Because I wanted the Hardtop to be easily removable I installed M8 captive nuts in the top of the car body at two points across the back to take the domed Stainless Steel Allen bolts down through the Hardtop Flange. These Captive nuts are hidden at all times by the soft top when it is on. The front fixing over the windscreen uses the same holes as the soft top and is achieved with ornamental stainless steel through bolts & nuts, and then a finishing valance is screwed over the access afterwards. The middle fixings at the "B" post are simply adjustable stainless rods that use the original soft top frame mounting points and only serve to locate the Hardtop and prevent it from springing outwards, as previously mentioned. There are additional Stainless Steel clamping plates that secure the sides of the Hardtop just behind the windows, and these use the soft top mounting bolts which I had previously strengthened when altering the hood frame. They have proved to be extremely secure.

The Hardtop lives above the car in the Garage when not in use and is lowered onto it with a hoist. The whole changeover from Soft-top to Hard-top can be achieved in a leisurely 45 minutes.

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The finished Top is very pleasing and has received lots of compliments, but as I mentioned earlier it just got heavier & heavier so if you're thinking of making one and weight is an issue, beware of the accumulating weight of all of the materials

Wish list: I wish I had installed an overhead light inside the Hardtop before I put the headlining in. I wish I had noticed the wonky flange when I was in Beaufords Car Park I wish I had read this article before I made the Hardtop as it would have been much easier!!! Credits: Hardtop Kit from Beauford Cars All trimming materials and specialist adhesive from Woolies trim Know how from Haynes Restoration Manual Forklift truck from Komatsu First Aid equipment from TCP. Tony Harkett 22


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No Two Alike Owen Copeland This is a bit of a love story about a Beauford we now call Ruby. In 2010 we wanted to a partner for Rosie (featured in the last magazine) as my wife had already fell in love with Rosie –our first Beauford. I searched cars for sale up & down the country in just about every media possible in the hope to find a close match to our Diamond White with black flashings first love beauty. I discovered just how diverse the painting of these cars was but non for sale looking like her. Something unusual caught my eye that summer. It was definitely a one off. I had seem similar but there was just something about the car I had seen that was different. I spoke to the lady selling her & learned the sad story of her late husband who had poured hours of work into crafting her. He had improved the engine, the axels, the interior and so much more. She told me of the time that they had used the car to tour on the continent enjoying the open road & the open top motoring of a warmer climate, her husband was a true enthusiast only. We got talking about mine & my wife’s wedding car business we had started and learned that her husband had secretly got the car ready for use at a family wedding. He had been asked & asked for the use of his Beauford but he kept saying no & making excuses that it wasn't working, something needed repairing. On the big day he put on a very smart suit & a chauffeurs hat and turn up to surprise the longing bride.

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You can just imaging the rest of the wedding day. He was the talk of family for months after. Even the guests didn't know until they saw the car at the church. This was the only wedding he ever used it for. As I have said he normally reserved his Beauford for his own & his wifes pleasure. Sadly though it wasn't used very much at all after that day. He had been ill for some time & sadly died. His wife had no idea what to do with the car as it was his domain. She was torn on keeping it as a lasting memory but her family had explained that it would deteriorate & no one else in the family was mechanically skilled. We didn't buy the car in 2010 but we stayed in touch, it was obvious what the car meant to her. Almost a year later I still hadn't bought Rosie a partner but the opportunity to buy “Ruby� was still there. The lady had decided enough was enough. The car had not moved in almost a year and it had to go, it would be a shame to let it deteriorate. This was a very emotional decision for her to let it go so once again my wife & I went to see her & talked over what the car meant. She said that her late husband would be happy that it was being kept alive and even replicating the joy & happiness he had seen when he did the one wedding for his family. At this point we had only heard the beating heart under the bonnet of this stunning, very different Beauford. We had both fallen in lover with her almost a year ago. We had talked at length about how she could be repainted to be a match for our Rosie but the final decision was to keep her in the colour she was already –a stunning poppy red with gloss black wings. She was a real head turner just as she was but with the added note from the engine & exhaust she was exquisite to us.

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Michelle drove her home for her first open road adventure is such a long time. She had only been driven out of the garage to a local garage for her annual MOT by the tester for the last 2 years of her life. Now she had the every road available to stretch her legs & remember the pedigree that she was. Once home I had an opportunity to examine our latest beauty & found a few secrets. It was obvious from the tow bar that there had been plans to use her for pull something but hidden away under the rear valance was a pair of fully operational sockets for powering a caravan. I can only image what that sight would be. Taking a closer look under the bonnet at the V8 heart of this beast it was clear that improvements had been made with a huge Holley race carburettor plus larger bore exhaust pipes & a single side exit box that produces the most beautiful V8 rumble at tick over & an ear-splitting rasp when revved. Clearly a petrol head’s engine

Ruby remains dressed in her original colours and is part of the fleet we have created at Rose-Weddings. She’s not everyone's choice but for Michelle & I we love her. She is also used for our own pleasure whenever we get the chance including popping to Tesco’s for a pint of milk –always taking car to use multiple parking spaces to keep other (bad parking) cars at a distance. 25


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Rover V8 engine Those of us who have got involved in the building & customisation of our Beaufords have discovered that almost any engine can be fitted. For a V8 burble there are a selection available, then just like any engine further customisation can produce more power & torque These are the basic blocks available with various bore & stroke. Generally the bigger the bore in relation to the stroke the more willing the engine is to rev. For better low end torque then a longer stroke is needed Capacity 3.5 litre 215 cu.in. 3.9 litre 240 cu.in. 4.2 litre 260 cu.in. 4.4 litre 269 cu.in. 4.6 litre 277 cu.in. 4.9 litre 300 cu.in. 5.0 litre 305 cu.in. 5.6 litre 340 cu.in.

Bore 3.50 (88.9 mm) 3.70 (94.0 mm) 3.70 (94.0 mm) 3.50 (88.9 mm) 3.70 (94.0 mm) 3.75 (95.2 mm) 3.70 (94.0 mm) 3.75 (95.2 mm)

Stroke 2.80 (71.1 mm) 2.80 (71.1 mm) 3.03 (77.0 mm) 3.50 (88.9 mm) 3.22 (82.0 mm) 3.40 (86.4 mm) 3.54 (90.0 mm) 3.85 (98.0 mm)

Basic tuning of these engines even with original equipment can give a lively performance but to get more power its necessary to increase the pressure in the piston at the combustion stroke Obvious solutions would be to add a turbocharger where the exhaust gases turn a compressor wheel to force air into the cylinder or add a supercharger where a compressor is driven by the engine to force more air into the cylinder. Before considering these options though there are simpler options to improve the efficiency of the burn in the cylinder such as better spark and better fuel air mixture. 26


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Reducing the inlet resistance can be achieved by a less restrictive air filter, larger carburettor chambers, polished ports & ram pipes. The end result has to be filling the combustion chamber with more air & quicker on the inlet stroke therefore reducing drag on the engine power. Reducing the exhaust resistance too can be achieved with larger bore exhaust pipes -once again reducing the effort needed to expel the gases on the exhaust stoke

The standard camshaft provides a good range of performance but further improvements to compression & torque across low & high revs can be achieved with aftermarket altered profile cams. If you already have a V8 Beauford or are considering upgrading to a V8 power-plant then there are many points to remember. The increased weight of the engine will require additional stiffness to the chassis to handle both the weight & the torque. The rear axel & differential will need upgrading to cope with the improved performance & most importantly the braking system must be improved to ensure you stay safe with a beast under the bonnet. Despite having additional costs for upgrades across your car I can assure you that the pleasure of a V8 rumbling under the hood & the exhaust note are all worth it when your out on the open road or sat in traffic –heads WILL turn .

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And Finally Two blondes walk into a building ....... You'd think at least one of them would have seen it. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.' My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

Tommy Cooper 1921-1984

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.' 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.' A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'. So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.

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To Advertise here Contact Liz.ovenden@beaufordclub.org.uk

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Beauford club magazine winter 2015#104  

Published February 2016 with the usual articles from the chairman & secretary. Details about a Hardtop hood & a V8 powered one of a kind Be...

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