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COMPLIMENTARY

DECEMBER 2017 | VOL. 8, ISSUE 12

Leaving a Legacy

Serving the Sandhills & Southern Piedmont

DECEMBER 2017 |

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features DECEMBER 2017

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The Value of a Family Dinner by Carrie Frye

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The Gift of Memories by Jennifer Webster

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3 Ways to Shape Your Legacy by Rachel Stewart

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Honoring World War II Veteran Series: Clayton Harris by Jonathan Scott

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‘Tis the Season for Sewing Smiles by Nan Leaptrott

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Carolina Conversations with Singer-Songwriter Craig Fuller

by Carrie Frye 4 OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2017

Leaving a Legacy Issue


DECEMBER 2017 |

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departments December 2017

12

“D

ecember, being the last month of the year, cannot help but make us think of what is to come.” —FENNEL HUDSON, “A MEANINGFUL LIFE”

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advice & health

10 

Ask the Expert by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA

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14 

Planning Ahead by Tim Hicks, RICP, APMA

16 

Brain Health by Karen D. Sullivan, PhD, ABPP

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Tech Savvy 10 Everyday Uses for Your Phone’s Camera

life

Regional Culture by Ray Linville

64 

The Reader’s Nook by Michelle Goetzl

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Cooking Simple by Leslie Philip

66 

Generations by Carrie Frye & Michelle Goetzl

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5 Nontraditional Places to Hang Your Stocking by Kasia McDaniel

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Genealogy by Ashley Eder

20 

Caregiving by Mike Collins

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A Christmas Poem: Wings by Ruth Moose

45 

Resource Marketplace Find the resources you need.

62 

Grey Matter Games Sudoku, Word Search & Crossword Puzzles

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COVER PHOTOGRAPHY BY MOLLIE TOBIAS DESIGN BY KASIA MCDANIEL


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DECEMBER 2017 |

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from the editor

D

8

ecember brings the joyous holiday season and nights beside the fireplace, preferably with a hot cup of coffee, tea or cocoa, and perhaps a favorite magazine or good book. This month, our “Leaving a Legacy” issue offers a chance to ponder what you might want your legacy to be as another year draws to a close. From financial planning to starting a personal genealogy journey with the introduction of a new column, we hope the subject piques your interest. Special thanks to Kasia McDaniel who helped set the holiday table for this month’s cover, which lets us explore the value of a family dinner and its many benefits, aside from cranberry sauce and dressing, my personal holiday favorites. ‘Tis the season of gift giving, so we’ll introduce you to one grandfather with a passion for creating lasting memories with his granddaughters. We also highlight some dedicated hospital volunteers who work harder than Santa’s elves to ensure every child receives a handmade stuffed toy to make their hospital visit a little less scary and something to smile about. If anything lives on, it’s music. For our Carolina Conversations this month, we sit down with singer-songwriter Craig Fuller, the former lead singer of the band Pure Prairie League, to talk about music and his Second 50 goal of guiding his son, Patrick’s, musical career. Our yearlong salute to World War II veterans concludes this month with Clayton Harris, a Montgomery County native, who served in the Signal Corps in China until V-J Day. Sadly, Mr. Harris passed away last month prior to the release of this publication, so it is with our deepest condolences to the Harris family, we honor him this month. This series has touched many, so my sincere thanks and gratitude go to these 12 veterans, as well as writer Jonathan Scott and photographers— Katherine Clark, Diana Matthews and Mollie Tobias—for traveling across the region to bring these tribute stories to life. As always, this issue is packed with information to help you age with success, from keeping hydrated for better brain health, to ideas for staying connected to family if staying home for the holidays is your plan. Thank you for turning these pages again with us! We wish you and yours tidings of joy for this season and a very Happy New Year! Co-editor Jeeves is ready to cuddle and call 2017 a wrap. Until next year... —Carrie Frye

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2017

Editor in Chief Carrie Frye | CarrieF@OutreachNC.com Contributing Graphic Designers Stephanie Budd, Nikki Lienhard Contributing Proofreaders Ashley Eder, Michelle Goetzl, Kate Pomplun, Rachel Stewart, Jennifer Webster Contributing Photographers Katherine Clark, Jordan Leigh, Diana Matthews, Mollie Tobias, Carol Wilson Contributing Writers Mike Collins, Ashley Eder, Michelle Goetzl, Tim Hicks, Nan Leaptrott, Ray Linville, Kasia McDaniel, Ruth Moose, Leslie Philip, Jonathan Scott, Rachel Stewart, Karen D. Sullivan, Jennifer Webster

Y Publisher Amy Natt | AmyN@AgingOutreachServices.com Marketing & Public Relations Director Susan McKenzie | SusanM@AgingOutreachServices.com Advertising Sales Executive Ashley Haddock | AshleyH@OutreachNC.com 910-690-9102 Advertising Sales Executive Butch Peiker | ButchP@OutreachNC.com 904-477-8440 OutreachNC PO Box 2478 | 676 NW Broad Street Southern Pines, NC 28388 910-692-9609 Office | 910-695-0766 Fax info@OutreachNC.com

www.OutreachNC.com

OutreachNC is a publication of The entire contents of OutreachNC are copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services. Reproduction or use without permission of editorial, photographic or graphic content in any manner is prohibited. OutreachNC is published monthly on the first of each month.


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advice

Our Aging Life Care ProfessionalsTM will answer any aging questions you may have.

Email us your questions! info@OutreachNC.com

ASK THE EXPERT

Bridging the Distance When Staying Home for the Holidays by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA

&

My husband passed away a few years ago, and my kids are all out of state. I have several invitations to come visit for the holidays, but I really prefer to stay at home. How can I convince my kids that I am OK and that they do not need to feel guilty that I am home alone?

The holidays can be an emotional trigger for many people. It is perfectly acceptable that you prefer to be home, surrounded by familiarity, routine and memories. Traveling during the holidays can also be hectic and stressful, and some simply prefer to avoid it. We often associate holidays with family, and there is comfort in that, but it may not always be practical or possible to be together physically. There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Perhaps if your adult children can understand your reasons for wanting to stay home, it would reassure them. I would suggest finding a way that you all can feel close as a family, even though you may be separated by distance. Here are a few ideas that might help bridge the distance during the holidays: • Set up a time for a family call with each of your children, so they know you will connect. • Set up a time to call and read a favorite holiday storybook to your grandchildren. Skype or FaceTime work very well. • Have your adult children share a video or pictures of the celebration. Again, FaceTime can be great, if you all have smart phones. • Send each family a handwritten note with your favorite holiday memories from their childhood, and have them share it with their families. • Send a favorite family recipe to help them feel connected to you. • Set up a time, away from the hustle and bustle of the holiday, that you all plan to get together. Having something to look forward to might make everyone feel better about being apart.

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The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. —RICHARD BACH

It is likely that your children want to know that you feel loved and do not feel alone at the holidays. Perhaps you have local friends, or church or community activities you are participating in. Share those experiences with your kids, so they know you are surrounded by people who care about you. Be honest with them and talk openly, so they can support your decision. Many people struggle at the holidays, particularly when they have lost a spouse recently. So, if you are feeling a little blue, that is OK as well. You may still need to grieve that loss. Many churches offer a “Blue Christmas” service, that helps people acknowledge and deal with those feelings. There are also a lot of community service projects during the holiday season, and they are always looking for volunteers. Sometimes helping someone else helps you to refocus your sadness on something positive. Pick a few meaningful activities to engage in, and then give yourself permission to skip some of the parties you might not be up for attending. You may be making new traditions, while passing others on to your kids. Connecting to others is key, and during the holidays, every commercial and song lyric will remind us of the importance of these relationships and the loss of those no longer with us. When you find yourself home alone, whether by choice, circumstance or a completely different reason, make an effort to identify things that are meaningful to you. Acknowledge your feelings and seek a spirit of peace. Look for opportunities to share joy with others, and your children will see that joy and know that you are going to be just fine. Readers may send questions to Natt, an Aging Life Care ProfessionalTM, certified senior advisor and CEO of Aging Outreach Services. She can be reached at amyn@agingoutreachservices.com .

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life

R E G I O N A L C U LT U R E

Where’s My Fruitcake?

A

by Ray Linville | Photography by Carol Wilson

t this time of the year, I’m looking for fruitcake. You know the kind: chock-full of sweet fruits, nuts and other goodies. The candied-fruit colors of red, yellow and green contrast brightly with the other ingredients and the dark-brown cake, and the sweet taste reminds me of a homemade fruitcake when I was growing up. My fruitcake search usually leads to a grocery store, where I can find the seasonal products prominently displayed. As I pick up a circular tin or a rectangular box, I check its ingredients, and they all look familiar (except for the preservatives and other chemicals that have been added). What I really want is fruitcake that is homemade, even though I realize how much effort it takes. I grew up in a family that never bought desserts. All our desserts were homemade—and nothing “storebought” could compare. If we did eat a dessert that had not been made in our home, we were at a potluck supper or family reunion, and it would have still qualified as “homemade.” Not buying desserts is a sign of how little money my frugal parents spent. Buying a fruitcake would never have been considered. It would have been the most extravagant way to show off, and we would never have taken fruitcake from a store to a potluck (unlike today when fried chicken from every fast-food store is too common). As a result, when I pick up a fruitcake in a store, I put it back on the shelf relatively quickly and leave the display area without having a second thought.

Linville writes about local connections to Southern food, history and culture. He can be reached at linville910@gmail.com .

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Although I still remember how little money my family spent when I was a kid, I was taken aback while searching for the fruitcake recipe in a family cookbook. I found it in a handwritten notebook that dates to the 1930s. The title is “Poor Man’s Fruitcake” —yep, that would have been the perfect name for what my family made. The recipe isn’t fancy; it lacks today’s gourmet ingredients. The only fruit is sweetened applesauce and raisins. It does include a cup of nuts but doesn’t specify what kind. The recipe was limited by what could be found in the yard. Otherwise, the cake consists of only flour, eggs, sugar, butter and a few spices, such as cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. Oh, but was it good! Maybe growing up on “Poor Man’s Fruitcake” is the reason I can resist the “modern” fruitcake with candied pineapple, cherries, and other fruits as well as gourmet nuts. How many times have you received a fruitcake as a gift and quickly passed it on to someone else? Maybe subconsciously you also think that the commercial fruitcake of today is too gooey and sweet, and would be better if homemade. Nevertheless, it is the season for fruitcake. Surprise someone, and make it homemade.

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advice

PLANNNING AHEAD

Legacy Planning Isn’t Just for Your Parents or Grandparents by Tim Hicks, RICP®, APMA®

E

state planning can be a tough and emotional conversation to initiate with your loved ones. But it may not be as challenging as you think. Recent research confirms that families who have had the conversation say it went better than they expected. In the Ameriprise Family Wealth Checkup study, families said their discussions were straightforward and open, rather than difficult or awkward, giving you more motivation to communicate with your loved ones. The following steps can help you get started planning your legacy:

Take Care of Basic Legal Matters A key to having your affairs in order is to take time to create or update your estate plan, which encompasses anything you own, such as real estate, cars, life insurance, financial accounts including your retirement plans, personal possessions, as well as your online assets and accounts. An estate plan documents your wishes for what happens to these assets and accounts in the event of your death. Estate plans commonly include the following pieces: • A current will stating how you’d like your assets distributed. If you have minor children, a will allows you to nominate a guardian to care for your children. • Trust documents, if establishing a trust to hold your assets is appropriate for your circumstances. • A health care directive that outlines your desires related to medical treatment. • A plan to cover expenses: legal fees, taxes, funeral costs and final medical expenses. 14

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2017

Creating an estate plan can be challenging, depending on the complexity of your situation. An attorney, financial advisor and estate planner can help you establish a plan that works for you, no matter the size of your estate.

Put Proper Protection in Place Purchasing life insurance when you are younger has significant advantages. Premiums tend to be lower, so choosing a death benefit that can be sufficient to meet your family’s needs is realistic. Developing an insurance plan will help you determine an appropriate level of coverage to suit your needs. If you already have life insurance, review your coverage with a financial professional to make certain you have the right kind— and amount—of protection in place. Know Where Your Investments Stand Make sure that you (and your spouse if you’re married) have clear financial goals and know your progress toward achieving them. While your portfolio is likely set up to achieve longer-term goals, make sure you have the appropriate number of assets in shorter-term liquid investments that you or your loved ones can access quickly if an unexpected event occurs. And finally, review the beneficiary designations on your accounts to ensure they are up-to-date. As you continue to plan for a good, long life, be sure to devote a modest amount of time to make sure your legacy is well protected. Hicks, an RICP®, APMA® and financial advisor with Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. in Southern Pines, can be reached at tim.hicks@ampf.com or 910-692-5917.


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OutreachNC.com 15


health

B R A I N H E A LT H

Proper Hydration Essential to Your Brain Health by Karen D. Sullivan, PhD, ABPP

W

ater is fundamental for cell and organ functioning throughout the body, especially in the brain. Water allows for many critical functions, including carrying nutrients and waste products to and from cells via our blood and out of our body through the kidneys. Water also regulates body temperature though sweating, absorbs and excretes excess heat, and helps to maintain a proper balance of electrolytes. Even mild levels of dehydration can effect mood (more irritability, more depression) and affect our ability to be alert, pay attention and make shortterm memories. Risks of Dehydration The amount of water in the body decreases by about 15 percent between the teen to older adult years. After age 65, our body water content declines most considerably. Therefore, the risk for dehydration increases with age, and consequences can range from relatively mild (dry mouth or lips, flaky skin, recessed eyes) to more serious symptoms (trouble maintaining body temperature, change in blood pressure, more weakness and fatigue, increased pain due to lack of joint lubrication) and all the way to the most serious risks including hospitalization and death. Dehydration is one of the top ten reasons for hospitalization in older Americans. Hospitalization then poses its own set of risk factors for the older adult including opportunistic infection and falling, which are associated with poor health outcomes.

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This is likely due to multiple factors, including a reduced sense of thirst, which leads to less liquid intake, declines in smell and taste that make drinks less appealing, decreased mobility (harder to get up and get a drink), urinary incontinence, use of laxatives or diuretics (many medications have a diuretic quality that is not known to the person or their family, especially blood pressure and anti-depressants) and, perhaps most notably, an age-related decrease in kidney function, making it harder for us to hold onto water. The kidneys play a key role in regulating fluid balance. Any amount of dehydration makes the kidneys have to work harder which results in more wear and tear and a negative spiral of worsening kidney functioning. Properly working kidneys are critical for the proper processing and eliminating of all substances in the body, particularly metabolites from medications. This is critical for older adults, because as a group, they receive more medications per year than any other age group, estimated to be 34 percent of all prescriptions written and 30 percent of all over-the-counter drugs. Adverse drug reactions are a leading cause of hospitalization in older adults, and this has been attributed to poor metabolization due, in part, to decreased kidney functioning. Staying hydrated is a great way to help the kidneys do their job. Maintaining a constant mineral balance (electrolytes through good hydration) is critical as we age for physical and mental health. A disruption in basic

body minerals dramatically increases the risk for a condition called delirium, particularly in those older than 85 and in adults over 65 with an illness. Delirium is a very serious condition that causes acute mental status change, psychotic symptoms (seeing and hearing things that aren’t there), agitation and sleep/wake disturbance and is very distressing for families. What steps can be taken to prevent dehydration? Prevention is key! Here are some strategies for ensuring adequate water intake: • Make liquids readily available all day. • Drink a glass of water with medications:

eight ounces with morning and afternoon, and four ounces with nighttime medications. • Strive for a minimum intake of 50-80 fluid ounces of water per day. Try for the higher end

during times of increased risk of dehydration, such as illness, high heat, stress and exertion.

• Check the color of urine: the lighter the more

hydrated; the darker the more dehydrated.

• If you are concerned, talk to your medical provider. At this time, there is no definitive lab

test for dehydration but checking electrolyte levels in the blood including sodium and potassium can be revealing. Dr. Sullivan is a board-certified, clinical neuropsychologist at Pinehurst Neuropsychology and creator of the I CARE FOR YOUR BRAIN program. She can be reached at 910-420-8041, or by visiting www.pinehurstneuropsychology.com or www.icfyb.com .

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OutreachNC.com 17


T E C H S AV V Y

10 Everyday Uses

for Your Phone’s Camera by GCFLearnFree.org

T

he built-in camera in today’s mobile phones is a truly useful tool, not only for snapshots but also for scanning documents and recording almost any type of information you want to remember. Here are 10 situations where a camera phone is useful:

1

Nutrition Facts Labels

Keeping track of calories or other nutritional information? Take a picture of the labels and write them down at the end of the day.

2

Comparing Prices

When you’re shopping, you may want to compare prices at different stores. Just take a picture of the item’s price and try to include the item itself in the photo.

3

Product Dimensions

Shopping for furniture, shelves, or appliances? Measure the space before you leave. You can also take a picture of the item’s dimensions at the store, then measure the space when you get home.

4

Parking Lots and Foreign Spots

Right after you park at an airport or at the mall, take a picture of your car, and be sure to include an identifying feature like a sign or building. If you’re visiting another city, take a picture of the street signs near your hotel, so it’s easier to find after a long day of sightseeing.

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5

Car Accidents

If you’re involved in a car accident, take pictures of your car and all other cars that were involved. If there’s a dispute about who’s at fault, the photos may help support your side of the story.

6

Scanning Documents

Take pictures of tax forms, bills, letters, and other documents. Even if the quality isn’t perfect, it still may be good enough to read small text.

7

Rental Cars

Most rental car companies require you to return the car with the same amount of gas in the tank to avoid extra fees. The first time you start the car, take a picture of the gas gauge. Then check the photo before refueling the car.

8

Confirmation Numbers

Buying tickets online? You may need to bring your confirmation number to the ticket window. If you take a picture of the confirmation number on your computer screen, you won’t have to worry about bringing it with you.

9

Making Repairs

Before disassembling something, take a photo of it, and if necessary, take more photos as you take it apart. Later, when you forget which part goes where, you’ll be glad you have the photos to remind you.

10

Saving Evidence

If you’re telling friends about something unbelievable that happened (like catching a really big fish), it’s nice to have proof. Take several photos, just in case they’re still skeptical.

GCFLearnFree.org is an online provider of free self-paced tutorials in a range of subject areas, from technology and computers to Microsoft Office, reading, math and careers. To learn more, visit www.gcflearnfree.org .


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advice

CAREGIVING CAN MAKE LIFE CRAZY!

What Will You Remember? What Will They Remember? by Mike Collins

T

oo often, when we see the word legacy, it’s in the outstretched palm of a university, church or cause; an organization that wants us to remember them in our wills. The reminder, though, is not a bad thing. Thinking of how we might want to be remembered can be a wonderful and, sometimes, challenging prompt to clean up our acts in the here and now. The standard legacy question for caregivers might be: How do you want to be remembered as a caregiver? However, the more important question, especially in the here and now, is: How do you want to remember yourself as a caregiver? You can imagine the hoped-for responses to the second question: “I was there when she needed me,” “I gave it my all,” “We did everything we could for him,” or “I turned my life upside down to care for her.” The thoughts are great, but, especially in the case of the last one, is that what you would want your loved ones to say when you ease on down life’s road? I cannot tell you how many caregivers tell me, “I would not want my children to go through with me what I went through with my (husband/wife/parents).” The feeling may or may not be true when the time comes. One friend told me, “I don’t care what kind of life

support system, chemicals or voodoo they have to use, I want to live until they can’t keep me alive by any means.” But, if you are serious about not being a burden, then think about this as your legacy: I want my loved ones to do the best they can for me but not at the expense of their health and lives. As a caregiver, the best example you can offer is to take care of yourself as you move through your own caregiving experience. Knowing where to ease off a little and do more selfcare can easily be perceived as selfish and uncaring. Sitting beside the bed of a sleeping parent suffering from Alzheimer’s and holding their hand is a wonderfully loving, caring and giving thing to do—but, not every night. Taking a little time for yourself is not a sin. Proverbs 13:22 says, “Good people leave an inheritance to their grandchildren.” Let’s think of legacy as an inheritance and expand grandchildren to all our loved ones. A Merrill Lynch survey of what people think about passing on to their loved ones showed values and life lessons, instructions and wishes, personal possessions with emotional value, and financial assets or real estate as the big four. Values and life lessons scored 74 percent, while financial assets and real estate came in at 32 percent.

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“Live, love, laugh, leave a legacy.” What if one of the most valuable life lessons you could offer is the importance of self-care? What if you showed that caregiving was not an exercise in self-sacrifice? Too often, one person’s condition affects one or more others. A University of Pittsburgh study showed that 6 percent of caregivers die due to the stresses of caregiving. The inspiration of a legacy, “something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor from the past,” according to the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, is not what we believe, it is what we do. It is action. Showing the people around you how to be caregivers and not let it make you crazy or physically debilitate you is a legacy to which we all should aspire. Two comments form significant parts of the legacies of my parents. As I have noted here on occasion, my mother used to tell my brother, Joe, and me, “You take care of you.” It wasn’t that she wanted us to be selfish. As she explained, “If you take care of you and the need arises for you to take care of someone else, you’ll be able to do that.” When the time came to make some difficult decisions about our mother’s care, I offered this to my brother, “We need to ask ourselves if we are lengthening Mama’s life or simply extending her death.” Knowing what her wishes

—STEPHEN COVEY

were for herself and for us, we made the decisions we needed to make. On the last night I saw my father alive, he was lying on an examination table in the emergency room at Southeastern Medical Center in Lumberton. He looked up at me as I stood beside him and he said, “You’re a good man and a good son.” As loving and supportive as he had been at times, he had never said those words. As a Southern male, I tend to give some credence to the belief that we often are not really men until our fathers tell us we are. I hope part of my legacy is that I am. Writer’s note: I’m wrapping up my caregiving column with this issue. Working with Editor Carrie Frye and the OutreachNC folks has been wonderful. Thank you for reading, and best of luck in your caregiving experiences.

Collins is the producer of the video, “Care for the Caregiver,” winner of a National Caregiver Friendly Award. For more caregiving tips, visit www. crazycaregiver.com . ©2017 Mike Collins

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COOKING SIMPLE LEE AUDITORIUM, PINECREST HIGH SCHOOL, SOUTHERN PINES

Cider-glazed Baked Apples with Marzipan

A Classic Holiday Pops THUR, DEC 21 | 8PM

by Leslie Philip Photography by Diana Matthews

David Glover, conductor

Join the North Carolina Symphony for this spectacular holiday celebration filled with joyful symphonic arrangements of holiday classics including Sleigh Ride and Carol of the Bells—plus our popular sing-a-long! MEDIA PARTNER

Ingredients • 4 large Rome apples (about 10 ounces each) • 4 ounces marzipan (aka almond paste) • 1 quart fresh apple cider

Directions

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Wash apples, but do not peel. Remove cores, making a hole that is 1 inch in diameter and 1 ½ inches deep. Remove about ¼ inch skin around the hole. Fill hole with marzipan, about 2 tablespoons each, packing in well and spreading over apple in a smooth layer to cover top, especially any exposed apple flesh. Place apples in pan large enough to hold them with some space in between. Pour 2 cups cider over apples. Bake for 40 minutes, basting often with cider. Place under broiler briefly until just golden. When soft, transfer apples with a slotted spoon to each of 4 flat soup plates. Meanwhile, place remaining 2 cups cider in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer until reduced to ¼ cup. While apples are cooling, place cider from baking pan in the saucepan with reduced cider and bring to a rapid boil. Cook over high heat until reduced to a thick syrup, about 1 ½ cups. Pour over each apple and serve warm.

Philip, chief egg breaker and owner of Thyme & Place Cafe in Southern Pines, can be reached at 910-684-8758 or leslie@thymeandplacecafe.com .

Pictures at an Exhibition THUR, JAN 11 | 8PM

Rune Bergmann, conductor

Few works match Mussorgsky’s Pictures at an Exhibition for orchestral color and sonic impact— paired here with Beethoven’s cheerful Symphony No. 4.

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DECEMBER 2017 |

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life

5

nontraditional places to HANG YOUR STOCKING by Kasia McDaniel

A

stocking is one of the most recognized symbols of Christmas. Did you know the tradition of hanging stockings started with the original St. Nicholas in the third century? Even the beloved Christmas poem, “Twas the Night Before Christmas” reminds us that, “the stockings were hung by the chimney with care,” but what if you don’t have a chimney or a mantel? Consider five nontraditional places to hang your stockings.

1

In your windows—Normally wreaths are found hung in the windows, so why not stockings? They can bring some color and cheer as you look out at the winter weather.

2 3 4

Staircase rail—If you have a staircase, you can easily hang them along the railing, like an ornament, by using ribbon.

Foyer entrance— If you have a coat closet, you can hang them on the door with adhesive hooks or along the wall by the coats.

Back of dining chair—Instead of name tags on the table, hang stockings with their name on the back of the chair. Use a bright colored ribbon to wrap around the chair and thread it through or hang it using an ornament hanger.

5

Guest room—If you are having guests stay at your home, use a stocking and fill it with goodies like soap, toothpaste, hand towel and more. Then hang it on the back of the bathroom door for some added color. Family time is so important this time of year. Spend some quality time with family and friends, and create some new memories. As you get your home ready for the holidays, you can hang your stocking in the traditional spot, or break tradition and spread some holiday cheer in other places in your home.

McDaniel, a certified interior decorator and president of Blue Diamond Staging, can be reached at 910-745-0608 or kasia@bluediamondstaging.com .

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OutreachNC.com 25

jason.bur www.ncfb


The Value of a Family Dinner by Carrie Frye | Photography by Mollie Tobias Design by Kasia McDaniel | Table courtesy of HogWild Farm Tables

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H

olidays are the annual gatherings that bring family and friends together, often centered around a table of homemade recipes and traditions. There may be grace and Grandma’s green bean casserole, but sitting at a table to discuss an average day seems to be on the decline with the rise of the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Fifty-nine percent of participants in The Harris Poll in 2013 cite having fewer family dinners than they had growing up; however, six out of 10 did report sitting down to a meal four nights per week, leaving the impression that it remains an important part of the day. One interesting tidbit is that 90 percent of participants in The Harris Poll want and look forward to family dinners. The benefits—aside from leaving the table with a full stomach—are aplenty; no fork and knife required.

Meal Ties That Bind

Sitting down to eat together, whether at home or a restaurant, increases the opportunity for conversation. More communication also lends itself to sharing and establishing family traditions, not to mention family recipes. Research shows children who have regular family meals show more motivation in school with higher grades and display fewer symptoms of depression.

What’s Quinoa?

Recent studies show families who eat together are more likely to introduce new or nontraditional foods into the meal. Presenting different foods like quinoa—a seed treated as a whole grain like rice that can be added to a fresh kale salad or cooked and served as the base for a vegetable stir-fry—expands our culinary palate, helping creating a mindset open to more flavors and textures.

Green Plate Specials

If a special diet is in order for health concerns, what better support system than your family? Studies show that family meals include more vegetables and fruits, and less soda and fried foods. Seven out of 10 in The Harris Poll also indicated a preference for a home-cooked meal.

A Side of Comfort

Family dinners also rank as a stress reliever, a time to unwind and process the day’s events with the people you care about the most. Family meals can also lend to a less stressful transition from a busy day of work, volunteering or other activities into a relaxing evening at home.

Apron Strings Not Purse Strings

Despite the generation gap, baby boomers and millennials alike enjoy eating in, allocating nearly 60 percent of their food dollars, according the latest U.S. Department of Agriculture Food Expenditures report. However, those numbers for restaurant expenditures have gone up consistently over recent years. Eating out averages $8+ per meal compared with approximately $4.50 per meal eating in. CONTINUED PAGE 28

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 27

Holiday meals are a Southern staple, but there is a wide range of what might be served as generations converge for the family gathering. “Traditional favorites are on the table every year,” says OutreachNC Regional Culture columnist Ray Linville. “In my family, sweet potato casserole and ham are favorites. “Turkey was never on the table when I was growing up, because it was too expensive then, but no matter how traditions change, older family members enjoy traditional favorites, and as younger members age into adulthood and midlife, old favorites help to sustain memories of family gatherings when they were growing up.” As you ponder what foods to serve this holiday season, Linville offers his top traditional and nontraditional picks.

Traditional

• Apple Pie • Carrot and Raisin Salad • Cornbread Dressing • Cranberry Sauce • Green Bean Casserole • Green Pea Casserole • “Jell-O” (Congealed) Salad with Cottage Cheese • Pecan Pie • Persimmon Pudding • Sweet Potato Casserole • Waldorf Salad

Nontraditional • Pork Roast • Chicken Pot Pie (well, nontraditional for a holiday dinner) • Brussels Sprouts • Baked Acorn Squash • Quinoa Salad • Trifle

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DECEMBER 2017 |

OutreachNC.com 29


O

nce upon a time, there was a man who had two granddaughters.

Last winter, Judy and Evelyn, then 9 and 6 years old, begged their grandfather, Steve Bloom, to take them to an ice skating rink. To speak with him, Bloom resembles the grandfather in “The Princess Bride”— gruff, but with a heart of gold and a New York City accent that he describes as completely illusory, as he hails from California. “I got conned into going,” he says with a smile in his voice, “but I was happy to do it. I wasn’t a particularly tough sell.” The ice skating trip is just one memory Bloom and his wife Sue have created for their granddaughters. Though they live in California, they visit North Carolina for long stretches of time each year to visit Judy and Evelyn. “We visit North Carolina every two months, except when the girls come to see us,” Bloom says. “I’ve made that my job for the past 10 years. I see them once every two months. Creating memories—that’s what we do. I can’t think of anything in my life that’s more important than the time I spend with these girls.” Bloom and his wife have certainly given their granddaughters some bigticket items, such as a Disney Cruise. But, he says, it’s the time spent that matters the most. A trip to the ice skating rink, or an evening spent cuddled into a chair reading together, can be just as memorable. “They take great pleasure in the fact that we are there,” Bloom says. “Every once in a while, out of the blue, unsolicited, we’ve had both the 6-year-old and the 9-year-old say in one way or another that they appreciate that we come across the country to see them so often. It pleases them. That is really special to us.” CONTINUED PAGE 32

THE

GIFT

OF

MEMORIES

by Jennifer Webster Photography by Diana Matthews 30

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Creating memories—that’s what we do. I can’t think of anything in my life that’s more important than the time I spend with these girls. —STEVE BLOOM

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 30

Merry Memory! This Hanukkah, Christmas or midwinter, make your gifts as memorable as Bloom’s trip to the ice skating rink. You could start with Bloom’s idea of creating an adventure—something new and exciting. Judy and Evelyn have enjoyed LEGOLAND Hotel, for instance. But the adventure need not cost money. Does your town light up a botanical garden for holiday evenings, or does a local park offer nighttime star-viewing hikes? Make the adventure into a memory by creating a special invitation. Decorate a card just for your loved one, or tuck tickets into a festive holiday box. If your adventure involves a drive or hike, create a fun, personalized map. Hand deliver it, drop it under the tree to open or send it through the mail. Announcing your “adventure” as a special holiday gift makes it all the more memorable.

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Speak to the Senses Sometimes, your loved one may not be able to join you on an adventure; he or she may be ill, confined to a nursing home or even suffer memory loss. Or perhaps he or she just lives far away. In those cases, create a sensory experience to address pleasant memories, past and present. Especially if the recipient is non-verbal, use touch, sound and smell. Maybe your granny always dusted with English Rose talcum powder after a shower. Create a soft fleece blanket for her and spritz it with English Rose body spray before packing it up to send. Add a favorite treat you used to eat together. Or perhaps your gramps loved trains and talked about them in exhausting detail. A YouTube search will reward you with hours of vintage “train spotter” footage. Create a one-click movie for his tablet featuring video of trains passing, sounds of train whistles and footage of trains pulling into the station. Make it long enough he can delve in and spend time with the sounds of his beloved trains.

Just Me and My Gran (or Gramps, or Anyone) Sometimes, a date need not have shape or form. Tell your loved one, old or young, that this is their day. You’ll do whatever they like and take as long as they want. Maybe you end up dawdling through a shopping mall with a three-year-old, giving him quarters and watching as he rides every rocking car, train and space ship in the place. Maybe you cruise around back country roads with your wife, explore every flea market you run across, and finish the afternoon sharing a hot cider or an ice cream float at a country store you never knew existed. Maybe you sit with your mother while she goes through every picture album she owns. The point is, there’s no limit. Let go of time and let your loved one know, with your words and actions, that you aren’t going to hurry him or her—that there’s no place you’d rather be than right here together. As you go, take snapshots. Print them or have them developed, stick them to construction paper, and create a book for your loved one. You might call it “Our Day Together.”

Cultural Customs Are your memories only as long as your lifetime—or do they reach into the distant past? There’s something to be said for each approach. Some people believe identity is more than individual experience, that it can be inherited through ancestors or culture. At any rate, the holidays are a great time to explore and recover memories that may be part of your family’s heritage. For example, maybe you know you had a great-grandmother from Kenya, but you don’t know what she would have worn, eaten or even celebrated at midwinter. Join with one or more family members to explore your history and create an event celebrating it. Research and prepare a dish your ancestor would have eaten. Learn a little about her or his customs or religion, and speak a blessing from that tradition over your holiday meal. CONTINUED PAGE 34 DECEMBER 2017 |

OutreachNC.com 33


Let Us Bring Things

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 33

I Just Have to Wrap Something! At times though (maybe because we’re all hobbits at heart?), the urge to wrap up a brand-new physical object for a gift may be just too much to resist. What makes a bought item memorable, especially in these days of Marie Kondo’ing? Some purchases have the potential to create memories as they’re used. Think about board games. Strategy? Storytelling? Problem-solving? There’s a game for all these, and more. Include an invitation to game night when you wrap the game, and you’re set! Other people may want to isolate themselves after the holiday brouhaha. Why not adopt the Icelandic tradition of the Christmas Book Flood? Books for everyone—solid, luxurious-to-touch books—and chocolate or other treats. Next step? Everyone retires under his or her blankets and reads until sunrise.

And Let’s Talk about the Packaging

Com

e spend One way to mark out a gift as memorable is the the da y packaging. (And yes, you w ith me can package even a walk ! in the park.) That doesn’t mean spending a bundle on flashy gift bags with glitter and ribbons, unless they really make you happy. Instead, consider a personalized note. If you’re so moved, add a quick sketch, too. If you plan to give your daughter the blanket that kept you warm your freshman year at college, include a handwritten letter. Maybe: This blanket held me through tough times. When you wrap up in it, feel my love surrounding you! Or, for a Boxing Day drive with your loved one, include a bundle of fresh flowers and a note: Come spend the day with me! On a box of loose-leaf tea: I’ve missed you. Tea and cookies soon? As Bloom says, “The thing itself is unimportant. The time is the most important thing—the time you spend. The memories you make. One of these days, Sue and I are going to leave this earth, and there will come a time when our grandchildren will think back and remember the times they spent with us. They won’t remember the things we gave them, I don’t think. They’ll remember the times.”


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OutreachNC.com 35


3

ways to

shape

H

YOUR LEGACY by Rachel Stewart

ow do you want to be remembered? It’s a layered question that takes time and deep introspection to unravel for some—while others may be able to quickly name things that are important to their life and the legacy beyond it. Thinking about how you want to leave your mark on this world—and the ones you love the most—can be emotional. Knowing your legacy is secure can also alleviate fears and anxiety you may have.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones.” —Shannon L. Alder

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1

GATHER YOUR THOUGHTS. At first, it may be easier to write down your initial thoughts on your own. As time goes on, you may feel more comfortable discussing with someone close to you. Don’t rush or push yourself—like other important plans, shaping your legacy takes time and careful thought. Keep a journal of your ideas so it’s easier to organize your thoughts, especially if you’re nervous about discussing them. CONTINUED PAGE 38

DECEMBER 2017 |

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2

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 37

DISCUSS YOUR OPTIONS WITH AN ESTATE PLANNER. While wills remain a traditional legacy planning option, if you have multiple assets, developing an estate may be more appropriate to control your finances or set planned giving to organizations that matter to you. A lawyer or dedicated estate planner can show you what options are available to you and your loved ones. They can help you put solid, binding parameters around your wishes and also help explain those wishes to your family.

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3

DECIDE HOW YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KEEP YOUR MEMORY ALIVE. Are there causes near and dear to your heart that you want others to be a part of or give to? Or perhaps a favorite event or hobby people always associate with you, such as music, painting or dancing? No matter what you care about, let people know now—encourage them to get involved with you, whether it’s participating in a marathon for charity, putting on an intimate concert at your house, or donating time or money to the cause of your choice. Your loved ones can learn from the example you set now—and seamlessly carry the torch in the future as well.

DECEMBER 2017 |

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Honoring World War II veterans Series ÂŤÂť

I

t was stifling hot and humid inside the tent where radar operator Clayton Harris worked. It seemed as if it was always hot and humid in Supu, China. Harris served there in the U.S. Army Signal Corps as part of the 14th Air Force during World War II. It rained often, and it was uncomfortable to have to live with everything perpetually damp. But he knew things like that were just part of serving your country in a time of war. All the men suffered through it together and that somehow made their ordeal more bearable. CONTINUED PAGE 42

clayton harris by Jonathan Scott Photography by Mollie Tobias

DECEMBER 2017 |

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In Memoriam Aug. 28, 1924 – Nov. 6, 2017

—CLAYTON HARRIS

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 41

Of course, the discomfort of heat and humidity was nothing compared to the time when they had been under siege by the Japanese. For six excruciatingly long months, no supply planes were able to replenish stores of food on the base, and the men had to live on bean sprouts and rice. Harris had no contact with his wife, Blanche, during that terrible time, but he wanted to tell her that after the war was over, he never wanted to eat rice again. The tide of the war had finally turned, partly in thanks to the bravery of the fighter pilots of the famed Flying Tigers of the 14th Air Force and their commander, Major General Chennault, a man whose military skill earned him a place on the cover of Time magazine two years earlier in 1943. The Flying Tigers had been unofficially formed as a “special air unit” by President Roosevelt and stationed in China before Pearl Harbor Day. Because the country was not technically at war, the group of pilots and ground crew was all voluntary. They were the ones who first developed the distinct open jaws and fighting eyes insignia painted on the nose of the P-40C fighter planes. By the time Harris had been flown over “the hump,” the dangerous trip across the Himalaya Mountains, the original Flying Tigers had been disbanded, but the 14th Air Force stationed in Supu, China continued the name. They also continued the same unique insignia on their plane noses. In spite of the times when Japanese planes came to drop bombs, life had its routine. There were about a dozen men in the Signal Corps in Supu. At any given time, about three of them would be in the tent where the radar scanned the skies in a 20-mile radius, 24 hours a day. Their shifts rotated, so Harris was well acquainted with coffee-filled nights and his eyes constantly on the radar. Night was the time when an attack was more likely. Harris’ job may not have seemed glamorous, but he and his fellow radar operators were the ones who kept the Flying Tigers safe. CONTINUED PAGE 44

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I didn’t grow up until I went into the service.


DECEMBER 2017 |

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 42

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OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2017

If a blip appeared on the large, round screen, Harris had to immediately identify the type of aircraft. In the times when he was certain it was an enemy plane, Harris had to act quickly. The radio was situated right next to the radar screen so he could notify flight control as quickly as possible. There was no time to let a sudden burst of adrenalin interfere with efficiency. Pilots and planes were constantly ready to take off. The Flying Tigers were good at what they did. It was a Wednesday, hot and humid, like the day before and the day before that. Harris had a daytime shift. It was a little after 1200 hours, and the radar screen had been quiet all morning. Soon, it would be time for a quick trip to the mess tent for something to eat. Harris didn’t smoke, but his buddy, Grover Stevens, was grabbing a cigarette. Harris was a native North Carolinian, Stevens was from Georgia, and the two young men from the South had formed a close friendship. Stevens started to tell a story but didn’t get the chance to get very far. The radio squawked out its usual static, a prelude to an incoming message. Harris could tell there was something a little different about this call. It wasn’t coming from within the base, nor was it even coming from the 14th Air Force Command Center. “Prepare for an announcement from the President of the United States.” It was only a moment later that Harry Truman’s voice came over the radio. “This is the day we have been waiting for since Pearl Harbor. This is the day when Fascism finally dies, as we always knew it would.” It was August 15, 1945, a day that would be remembered as V-J Day— Victory over Japan. The war was over. Shortly afterward, the Air Force Base in Supu was quickly dismantled. The U.S. didn’t want the communist government of China to have access to American weapons, aircraft or technology. Harris eventually returned to his native Montgomery County, where he and his wife, Blanche made their home. Editor’s note: Our deepest condolences go to the Harris family, as Mr. Harris passed away on Nov. 6 at the age of 93, prior to the publication of this issue. We are so grateful to share his story of service. Theresa Thomas, director of the Troy/Montgomery Senior Center, who introduced us to Mr. Harris, offers these kind words in his honor. “For the past 20 years, I have had the privilege of calling this World War II veteran my friend. He was without a doubt one of the kindest, most humble men I have ever known. My life is better having known him. A final salute to you my friend, thank you! And thank you to all veterans who have and are serving this great nation with bravery and integrity, for paying the price of freedom for us all.”


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life

GENEALOGY

Turning Over a New Leaf NEW SERIES COMING IN 2018 by Ashley Eder

W

hat’s your genealogy, and have you shared it with your children and grandchildren? Genealogy first piqued my interest while I researched my family history and created my first family tree as a school project. My passion for genealogy gained deeper roots as I researched my family crest and delved into learning more about the branches of my family tree with the help of my parents and a subscription to www.ancestry.com. Each new leaf or “hint” on my family tree provided some new insight into who my ancestors were, what they looked like, and how they supported themselves and their families. Whether it was my paternal great grandfather’s grey eyes and blond hair—information I obtained from his World War II draft card, which are so very different from my own brown hair and brown eyes— or my maternal great-great grandfather’s occupation as a shoemaker in Montemaggiore Belsito, Palermo, Sicily— information found on a passenger list to New York— every tidbit I uncovered left me wanting to learn more. I determined DNA testing would be the next leaf to turn over on this journey, along with chronicling my genealogy adventure as it unfolds and sharing insights along the way. Topics in this 2018 series include: how to begin your journey, building your family tree, DNA ethnicity estimates, genetic health testing, tracing your roots to the early settlers of North Carolina and the Blue Ridge Mountains, creating a succession plan for your family history and connecting adopted children with birth relatives. As your family gets together for this holiday season, it’s the perfect opportunity to begin collecting information about your ancestors and inquiring about traditions. What a nostalgic way to leave your legacy by gathering around the fireplace and telling stories of your own childhood or your ancestors’ journey to America. Here are five genealogy gifts to start your own genealogy conversation: 46

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Give or make a grandparent’s journal or memory book. These books can be given to grandparents as gifts for them to complete and return to a grandchild, or create one on your own. Create an autobiographical history that can be passed down through the generations. Purchase DNA test kits for yourself and family members. These can range from $79$199, depending on the information you wish to collect from genealogy websites, like www.23andme.com or www.ancestry.com. Perhaps you are not as interested in learning names and dates of your ancestors but would like to learn more about your DNA ethnicity estimates. You might be surprised at what you discover! Frame a copy of your family tree. If you have done the research to discover your ancestors, use a family tree builder, like Branches—www.branchesart.com— to create a beautiful three to five generational, digital family tree that you can have printed and framed. Purchase a genealogical website membership, such as an Ancestry.com subscription, which has access to billions of historical records and tools to help build your tree. Look for holiday sales for gift memberships, too. Compile a family recipe cookbook. Check out cookbook designing websites, such as www.createmycookbook.com. What better way to continue family traditions than sharing your favorite dishes! I encourage you to share your personal history with your family. It is one priceless gift that can be shared for generations to come.

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Eder developed a passion for genealogy while researching her own family tree and is always happy to discuss and help others delve into the process. Email her at ashleye@agingoutreachservices.com .


Wings by Ruth Moose

We were making Christmas crafts: three kids, John and I. Making paper angels from old hymnal pages accordion folded. One for body, two for wings. John held up his angel in progress, said, “I got a body. Now all I need is two wings. I need wings.� Yes, I thought, O yes, we all need wings. So I gave him mine and flew. DECEMBER 2017 |

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by Nan Leaptrott Photography by Jordan Leigh

T

he little boy in the emergency waiting room sat close to his dad who nervously flipped pages of a magazine. The little boy stared straight ahead. His saucer eyes wide open. A tear trickled down the little boy’s cheeks and another one and another. A hospital staff member noticed the little boy. She grabbed a tiny stuffed giraffe and placed it in the little boy’s arms. Not a word was spoken. The little boy smiled timidly, hugged his new stuffed friend and everything seemed better. This is just the kind of story the toymakers at FirstHealth like to hear. CONTINUED PAGE 50

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Toymakers are volunteers who gather at FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital in Pinehurst and Raeford either on Monday, Wednesday or Friday to cut, sew, stuff and stitch little stuffed toy animals. They are women filled with passion to serve, to make something a child can hold, hug and cuddle. These stuffed animals are so cute, even grown-ups would like to cuddle with them. Often a toymaker will walk down a hall carrying some of the animals and a visitor will stop them to say they received one 10 years before and still have the stuffed toy. Toymakers know that material is not cheap. While most of the supplies are donated by the Foundation of FirstHealth, some are donated from local retailers, like Hobby Lobby and Michaels. Also, people who sew bring their scraps of material and leftover ribbon to the hospital for the toymakers to use. Toymakers put each scrap to good use and spend a great deal of time matching the right print in the fabric to match the animal they are going to stuff. There are long-neck, spotted giraffes, pink and blue polka dot pigs, black and white puppies, dachshunds, yellow labs, white bunnies with pink ears, tan-humped back camels, Snoopy dogs, brown and black dinosaurs, green frogs, calico cats, gray horses with hand-twisted manes. All are soft and comforting. A ribbon is tied around each animal with a simple tag which reads “Made with Love by the Toymaker Volunteers at FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital. Materials made possible through the generosity of The Foundation of FirstHealth.� CONTINUED PAGE 53

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The toymakers are an impressive group; this value-filled volunteer work began in 1978 and was the brain child of co-founders Nan Sinclair and Helen Olson. Today there are 66 toymaker volunteers. Their ages range from young women to women in their 90s, which proves one is never too young or too old to volunteer. What is really impressive is that the toymakers’ combined effort created 5,737 stuffed animals this past year alone, ensuring there are plenty of stuffed animals for all children. Every child admitted to the hospital receives one. Each newborn baby at FirstHealth is presented with a soft, cuddly teddy bear. Toymakers make sure all the stuffed animals are given away to a child. If there is an overflow of toys at FirstHealth they share the rest of the toys for children at FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital– Hoke and FirstHealth Montgomery Memorial Hospital. No lovingly handmade little stuffed animal is forgotten. Why are stuffed animals important to a sick child or one having difficult tests performed? Going to the hospital can be a scary, especially for young children who don’t understand why they have to stay in the hospital. Children sometimes grapple with fears of pain and even death, the unknown, the separation from a parent and unfamiliar hospital staff. Multiple studies have proven when a child holds a stuffed toy, it helps them cope better with the unknown. Going through medical tests can overwhelm even an adult. This stress magnifies in children. When a child hugs a stuffed animal they have a chance to nurture, to give kid care. These enchanting creatures are small enough for little hands. They are lightweight, perfectly compliant. Stuffed animals are immune to letdowns in life. They can be dropped, sat on, chewed on and left alone, but when a child reunites with their prized friend, the child relaxes and feels more secure. With a stuffed animal in a child’s arms, it helps healthcare workers build trust with young patients, which can reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety in being in a scary place. A stuffed animal to hug can even accelerate the healing process. One interesting factor which one physician reported is that taking the time to engage and play with the toy and child before an operation or crucial test is paramount to a child’s healing. And a stuffed animal works best. Think back when you were a child, wasn’t it your stuffed animal that you grabbed first thing in the morning and the last thing at night? CONTINUED PAGE 54 DECEMBER 2017 |

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At FirstHealth while the toymakers stuff the animals, another volunteer team distributes them. They arrive in the emergency department, outpatient, nursery, pediatrics, and diagnostic areas. Children having tests or surgery receive the toys, as do little ones anxiously waiting and concerned about a family member. The kids are not the only ones who appreciate the toys. “We reserve the toymaker toys for children who had a difficult procedure but who tried very, very hard,” says Dr. Sharon Harrell, DDS, director of FirstHealth Dental Care. “They hug their stuffed animal tight and leave the office with a smile.” A grateful emergency department patient (and mom) wrote: “Your kindness and the love that went in to making this stuffed puppy made our accident feel a little better”. Toymakers are busy volunteers at work; they cut, sew, stuff and stitch as they chat, and they become friends. They care about each other. They have a passion that a sick child will have something to cuddle and when that child reaches for the toy they know the child always smiles. The toymakers’ room resembles Santa Claus’ workshop. The toymakers have already begun to gather all their red, green, gold and silver pieces of fabric to make festive holiday stuffed animals. Each stuffed animal has a simple red or green bow tied around its neck. Even when a child is in the hospital, Christmas can still be special. FirstHealth toymakers are in need of volunteers. Search your heart and your calendars to see if you can help on Monday, Wednesday or Friday. One thing the toymakers would like to stress if you sign up to volunteer on a certain day and you have a conflict on a particular day you do not have to arrange for somebody to take your place. Their policy is come when you can, and stay as long as you like. Ask any of these toymakers, and they will tell you that it is the simple things in life which bring the greatest joy and comfort. Whenever a child returns the favor with a smile, it is the best gift any toymaker can receive.


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Carolina Conversations with Singer-Songwriter CRAIG FULLER by Carrie Frye Photography by Diana Matthews

H

is name may not resonate immediately; however, music fans of the 1970s need only hear the chorus of the debut hit single of the band Pure Prairie League, “Amie,” to realize who Craig Fuller is. “Amie what you want to do? I think I could stay with you For a while, maybe longer if I do”

Fuller wrote and sang “Amie,” and made a couple of albums with Pure Prairie League, leaving the band before the song was even a hit. Music led him to later joining the bands American Flyer and Little Feat, and to full-time songwriting. Fuller, 68, retired early from music to focus on his family, relocating to the Sandhills. With his four children now grown, he is making time to help steer in his second youngest son, Patrick’s, music career, and adding occasional tour dates with Pure Prairie League back into his calendar as time allows, with him and Patrick as the opening duo. At his Pinehurst home, Fuller reflects on his musical history, some insight into the song that fans still wait to hear him play and how he is sharing his love of music with Patrick. ONC: Where did you grow up, and how did you develop your love of music? CF: I grew up in Oregon, but I was born in Ohio. I lived in Oregon from

fourth grade to my junior year of high school. Then I moved back to Ohio, where my mother used to live, in a town in southern Ohio, finished high school and tried to go to college a couple years, but I really didn’t like that. When I was in Oregon, I would listen to the Beach Boys and whatever was being played back there that was being called adventurous—a guitar band, like The Kingsmen and their song, “Louie Louie,” that kind of stuff. I saw the Kingsmen play. I saw Paul Revere & the Raiders play. CONTINUED PAGE 58

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I had a little band out there in high school, and it was fun, but I was distracted by sports and deer hunting. When I came back to Ohio, it was just all music. The Beatles had come out, and I had snagged a couple of Bob Dylan records, and Peter, Paul and Mary. I think I was starting to listen to more folk music than pop music at that point. Although, I still liked pop music. By the time I started Pure Prairie League, I was listening to things like Fairport Convention, Steely Dan and folk rock. That’s really what I would put on the turntable and listen to at home. Was the guitar your first instrument? CF: Yes, it was. It’s still

my main stringed thing. Patrick plays the piano pretty well.

Did songwriting come naturally? CF: It was always a

real chore. It was hard. Melody was pretty easy. Music came pretty easily but the filling in of the words is hard. A lot of people write words before they write music. And that may be smart, but I just didn’t find myself writing poems and putting them to music. How did Pure Prairie League come together? CF: We were living in Columbus, Ohio, and we were just

trying to make a living, to pay the rent. I mean really cheap rent and to have a little bit to eat. We couldn’t seem to get many jobs in Columbus. One of the guys at that point was coming up from Cincinnati, and he said, “I think I know a place we can play down there.” So, we all moved to Cincinnati, and that’s when the band really got going. We played at this one place, New Dilly’s in Cincinnati, and I think we played there almost every weekend for six months. We gained a following, and we got pretty good, just because we played a lot. I think we were playing a festival 58

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in Cleveland, and a producer from RCA came to see us play. And he said “I want to bring the guy who has the power to sign back and see you guys play. So, we sat up on the porch at this farm that we use to live in outside Cincinnati and played for the guy. And he said, “You’re in.” So, we went to New York and made the first record. It was critically acclaimed but didn’t really get on the radio or sell much maybe except in Cincinnati. Then, we made the second record in Toronto, Canada. That one did a little better but really not great until some DJ in Atlanta kept playing “Amie.” He talked to RCA and said you should make this shorter. They did that to make it short enough for the AM radio format back then. It took off and did well, and I was gone from the band at that point. What made you leave Pure Prairie League and then join the other bands, American Flyer and Little Feat? CF: I refused to join

the Army, so the government took issue with that. After I was a conscientious objector for a year and a half, I got a presidential pardon. I liked that! The fellow that was involved with Pure Prairie League records on RCA said, “Come on, I think I can put something together.” So we put this band together called American Flyer. So then, Eric Kaz—a guy who had written a lot of songs for Bonnie Raitt and Linda Ronstadt, like “Love Has No Pride” and “River of Tears”—Steve Katz—who was in Blood, Sweat and Tears—and Doug Yule—who was Lou Reed’s guitar player in Velvet Underground— and I got together. The four of us were going to be a super group. We made two records. The first one was produced by George Martin, so that was fun to work with him. And that took about two and half years. Then the next year, Eric and I did a record for Columbia called “Fuller Kaz.” And we went out and toured with Little Feat in 1978 on the last continuous series of dates. So then, I just decided I had enough, and I wanted to retire.


Is the traveling the hardest part with music? CF: Plenty of work, plenty of road. If you are 22 years

old, it’s not so bad, but I was 40 at the time, and it was noticeably a chore for me. And we were living in Portland, Oregon at the time.

How did you decide on Pinehurst? CF: We were actually

living in Nashville (Tennessee) then, and my wife was working for Vanderbilt. Then 9/11 happened, and we thought we should get into a smaller community. We came here and got the kids into school, so we have been here 17 years now. What about North Carolina appeals to you the most? CF: We have a lot of

friends here, but I guess the weather, especially coming from Ohio. It doesn’t go down to 10 degrees for a month running down here, and it might snow twice a year. I think the weather especially as we get older becomes more bearable for Ohioans and Oregonians. I don’t play enough golf. I should play golf every day. I should at least practice every day. Both Patrick and his brother play golf and play well. Was music naturally shared with your children? CF: They all took piano lessons. I think I gave each

one of them a guitar pretty early on, but I didn’t really encourage them. Patrick is the only one who really developed any kind of work ethic on the guitar.

Were you pleased that music was something that bonded the two of you? CF: I think we have that relational buzz, like the

Andrews Sisters or Stanley Brothers. It has to do with if you are in the same family and speak the same way and form words similarly. It’s not just the notes that you are hitting but the way the words are formed, and that’s what makes it seem like a better blend. Do you and Patrick write songs together? CF: So far, I have helped

him finish a couple of things. I am usually all about writing a pop song: verse, chorus, verse, chorus, maybe a little instrumental, then the last chorus and it’s done! And it’s done in three and a half or four minutes. And that’s kind of the way I think. Patrick may have a harder time with that. We have a place in Nashville, and he goes over and has some friends he writes with.

Patrick, how is it to share music with your dad and what influence did he have on your own music? PF: It was definitely

helpful as far as his experience. It is a shared fascination with words and music. He pointed me in the right direction, telling me to listen to this if you want to write this kind of song, or these are the experts on these motifs. I was a strange kid growing up on Pink Floyd. We used to listen to them on car trips. One of the best things he ever did was when I was 8 or 9, and the first two CDs he bought me were “Hard Day’s Night” and “Help.”

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of animal, as far as timing, sounds, left hand and right hand. And then there’s just a lot of stuff I can do on the guitar that is tough to get on any other instrument.

Do you enjoy playing with your dad and having that familial sound? PF: Yeah! From someone I have known the longest to

someone who has taught me a lot of things and someone who I have played with a lot, as well as just whatever intangibles, we have a lot of the same instincts. So, it’s very easy and fluid. Craig, are there any specific goals you have for your Second 50? CF: More yoga! I teach meditation at Cool Asana (Yoga

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Does the piano appeal more to you, or are you more like your dad and prefer the guitar? PF: I really enjoy playing piano. It’s a whole different kind

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Do you have plans for 2018 to work on that? CF: We have a date on May 5 in Illinois. I think we’ll

probably also do some shows next year with Pure Prairie League. Patrick and I are the opening duo, and we play for 35-40 minutes. Then I do the last four or five songs with the band. We play “Amie” at the end of the set and then we come back and do an encore. PF: You don’t get out of there alive, if you don’t play “Amie” (laughs). Is there a story behind “Amie” and did you ever think when you wrote it, that it would still be resonating with your fans 40 years later? CF: No. It’s just a song. It was just an exercise in

songwriting. The name fit well with the music. It just was an easy thing to do. I wrote most of it in an hour. I struggled with the third verse a little bit, because I was overthinking. It was pretty easy to record.

Patrick, do you feel happy to be carrying on the musical tradition of the family? PF: Carrying on the burden of creating art for the

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world? Yes, it’s cool. Not everyone gets to even see what their thing they do in life is. Not even that music is my absolute, but if there is a thing that you could do that other people can’t, that’s your gift to the world. Not everyone gets to find that. Does that mean it’s easy, no. It means it’s probably worth it.


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GREY MATTER See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 65

Along Although Aren’t Beaks Beard

Bedtime Climbers Crush Desire Dream

Eager Earned Grove Heated Hello

Heroes Improvement Inventors Jumps Knits

31. Slogans 33. Having winglike extensions 35. Arabic for “commander” 36. Ancient greetings 37. Free 40. Spider, e.g. 44. ___ gestae 45. Mechanic’s equipment box 47. “Aladdin” prince 48. “Hamlet” has five 50. Area of South Africa 51. Assayers’ stuff 52. Sounds raucously 54. Howard of “Happy Days” 55. Gold braid 56. Indian dish with seasoned rice and meat (var. spelling) 58. Arranged in rows 60. The alimentary canal 61. One who leads a Spartan lifestyle 62. The milling on coin edges 63. Having lost the most freshness

DOWN

ACROSS

1. Climb up and over again 8. More domineering 15. Attitudes of a culture of era (pl.)

62

16. Throw 17. Break into pieces (2 wds) 18. Take back 19. Continental money 20. A pint, maybe 22. Asian capital

OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2017

23. Western blue flag, e.g. 24. Complain 26. Bar order 27. A.T.M. need 28. Unoccupied 30. “It’s no ___!”

1. Proof of purchase 2. An ancient country in west-central Italy 3. Using something jointly or in turns 4. Coconut palms 5. Says “When?” 6. Basic unit of money in Romania

Light Lists Loser Opera Other Owner Pence Polite Pools Rider Sense Sheer Shrink Someday Stared Surprise Table Talks Those Tickets Times Total Traveling Treat Trees Under Vowels Weather

7. Trellis on which ornamental shrubs grow flat 8. News office 9. “___ moment” 10. Literally, “king” 11. Bubbly drinks 12. To settle a problem through discussion (2 wds) 13. Champion 14. Having finished one’s active working life 21. Amount to make do with 24. A spoken blessing 25. Agonizing work 28. Calculus calculation 29. Bumper sticker word 32. Affranchise 34. ___ Wednesday 36. 25th U.S. state 37. Long-handled device to grasp hard-to-reach items 38. To lie back or down 39. Ancient fertility goddess 40. A chorus line 41. Recount 42. Inflammation of the small intestines 43. Analyze 46. Move forward by rowing 49. Enclosed in a pigpen 51. Architectural projection 53. Delhi dress 55. Boat in “Jaws” 57. “Smoking or ___?” 59. “C’___ la vie!”


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life

THE READER’S NOOK

“The Snow Child” and Some Classics, Too Book Reviews by Michelle Goetzl

W

inter. A time to get cozy with a good book and a cup of tea. Personally, I can think of nothing better. So with the colder months upon us, I offer up options of a current book or a few classics. You can fully immerse yourself in winter with the book “The Snow Child” by Eowyn Ivey. Part historical fiction and part fairy tale, this ingenious book transports you to the Alaskan wilderness in the 1920s. Mabel and Jack have moved themselves to Alaska to get away from the tragedy of having a stillborn child. They knew that life there would be difficult, but they never really imagined how challenging it would be. The silence, the isolation and the work of making something of their homestead nearly does them in, but their love for each other is strong and manages to keep them going. One night, in a moment of levity, they play in the snow and build a child out of snow. The next morning she is gone, but over the next few weeks, they each catch glimpses of a child running through the woods alone. The child reminds Mabel of a fairy tale her father used to tell her and her sister when they were children, of “Snegurochka,” or “the Snow Maiden,” a girl, half-human and half ice and snow, who comes into the life of a childless old couple. The book movingly follows Jack and Mabel as they welcome Faina, their snow child, into their lives. But, as it often was in classic fairy tales, there is a layer of sadness that follows them as they know that there are unwritten rules that must be followed in order to keep this shred of joy in their lives. For example, the

Bensons, their only other friends in the wilderness, never see the child and assume it is the isolation getting the best of Mabel. The story constantly progresses with character development and plot twists. The historic setting works perfectly to give a notion of realism in a mythical story. Another wonderful option when considering snuggling up to a good book is to pull out a classic, like “Little Women,” “A Tale of Two Cities,” or even the more modern classic, “Remains of the Day.” These books not only take you back in time but alsobring comfort like an old security blanket. Italo Calvino once said, “A classic is a book that has never finished saying what it has to say.” Classics like these are like old friends that can be read time and time again and always seem to bring something new to the table. Like children who find joy in rereading the “Harry Potter” series, we can find the same in a classic and revisit that friendship.

Goetzl writes an online blog—“Books My Kids Read.” She loves books and sharing that love of reading with children. She can be reached at booksmykidsread@gmail.com .

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Generations

by Carrie Frye & Michelle Goetzl Photography by Katherine Clark

OutreachNC asked adults and children our December question. Share your answer on our Facebook page.

The memories of our family holidays spent together. —Betty, 69 My beautiful daughter and two granddaughters. —Diane, 65

What’s one thing you want people to remember about you?

That I’m a good friend. —Harrison, 8 I was a great singer and good at karate. —Mae, 9 That I was a good person. —Patrick, 10

My love for God. —Van, 52 My kindness for others. —Darrell, 63

That I’ve shown those I love how much they mean to me. —Bailey, 70 Always being willing to volunteer. —Debra, 59 The love I have for my children and grandchildren. —Cindy, 66

That I was in the hands of the awesome Lord. —Sophia, 9 That I like Legos. A lot. —John David, 5 How I will always stand out ... I’m not one of the others, I’m me and that’s wonderful. —Ivy, 10 I want to be remembered as the kid who always stuck up for others—especially when they couldn’t stick up for themselves. —Jensen, 10

My willingness to do for others. —Elma, 88

That I was very artistic.

Serving my country in the Army. —Jack, 71

—Jean, 10

That I was kind even when it didn’t benefit me.—Dorothy, 57 My cooking and family recipes. —Lois, 79

I love everyone and will always be your friend. —Emersyn, 7 That I like the Dodgers. —Ethan, 8 Being kind. —Scarlet, 5

My furry, unconditional love. 66

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—OutreachNC Co-editor Jeeves, 4


DECEMBER 2017 |

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Buy a car

First Bank is an independent community bank on a mission to make the impossible, possible. Tell us your dream today— it could win the funding it needs to become a reality.

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To enter, share your dream at a First Bank branch in your area, or online at

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OutreachNC.com | DECEMBER 2017

* See Official Rules for complete details, available at your local First Bank branch and at www.localfirstbank.com/dreamitdoit. Equal Housing Lender. Member FDIC.

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OutreachNC Magazine December 2017  
OutreachNC Magazine December 2017  

Our Leaving a Legacy issue featuring: The Value of a Family Dinner; The Gift of Memories; 3 Ways to Shape Your Legacy; Honoring World War II...