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COMPLIMENTARY

MARCH 2020 | VOL. 11, ISSUE 3

Aging Around the World: France

House & Home: Hiring a Handyman

Serving the Sandhills & Southern Piedmont

Hidden Hometown Hero: Susan Bellew MARCH 2020

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| OUTREACHNC.COM


BIRDS ARE CHIRPING, FLOWERS ARE BLOOMING,

And Our Residents Are Flourishing Springtime creates a lot of yard and house work, let us do the work for you. Enjoy our beautiful courtyard and gardens! At Fox Hollow Senior Living, you’ll discover new friendships around every corner. With activities and events personalized to your interests, it’s easy to see how our residents flourish here.

CALL 910-695-0011 TO EXPERIENCE AN EXCEPTIONAL SPRING.

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190 Fox Hollow Road • Pinehurst, NC 28374 www.FoxHollowSeniorLiving.com ASSISTED LIVING OutreachNC.com | MARCH 2020 • MEMORY CARE • RESPITE/SHORT-TERM STAYS ©2020 Five Star Senior Living


Started in 1983, NC Senior Games is a year-round health promotion & education program for North Carolinians aged 50 years & better. It is a holistic approach to body, mind, & spirit staying fit, while enjoying the company of friends, family, spectators & volunteers.

Open to Residents Age 50 & Better in Lee & Neighboring Counties

Registration: March 2020 | Events: April- May 2020

Register online at jsolomon@leecountync.gov or pick up a registration form at LCG Enrichment Center | 1615 S. Third Street | Sanford | (919) 776-0501

The registration fee entitles each participant to opening reception, and entry into athletic events and/or SilverArts. Participants may enter as many events/categories as desired. Fee is waived for first-time participants.

Thursday, April 16, 2020

5:30 PM – Opening Ceremonies | 6:15 PM – Performing Arts

May 26, 2020

SilverArts - Visual, Literary, and Heritage Arts Awards Reception LCG Enrichment Center | 1615 S Third Street | Sanford Sponsored by:

2020 OutreachNC.com 3 This program is sanctioned by NC Senior Games. NCSG is sponsored state wide by the MARCH NC Division of Aging.


features CONTENTS

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ONC BOOK CLUB 2020: Gilead

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THE ODD COUPLE: It’s the eighties - and they’re ladies!

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HIDDEN HOMETOWN HERO: Susan Bellow of Family Promise

Season Nine Sponsors

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HOUSE AND HOME: A photo essay by Brady Beck

Owens Auditorium@BPAC Group Discounts available online or email JudsonTheatre@gmail.com

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Bringing the stars to the Sandhills since 2012!

HUNTING THE PERFECT HANDYMAN: When you find yourself in need

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AGING AROUND THE WORLD: France

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departments 10 12 14 16 18 20 22

24 26 28 62 65 66

BODY HEALTH: Intentional Living Checklist Meredith Stanton, M.D.

ASK THE EXPERT: Aging in Place Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA

FAITH AFTER 50: The House of God The Rev. Colette Bachand

GENERATIONS QUESTION: What’s the first thing you do when you get home? PHYSICAL THERAPY: Lymphedema Dr. Sara S. Morrison

HEALTH COACHING: Livability Scores Marcy Simpson, LCSW BRAIN HEALTH: Risk for Financial Exploitation Karen D. Sullivan, Ph.D, ABPP VETERANS CORNER: Health Conditions Jim Pedersen

COOKING SIMPLE: Irish Food Faves A couple of recipes sure to bring luck your way! GREY MATTER PUZZLES Crossword, Word Search, Sudoku OVER MY SHOULDER: Our Very Own Leprechaun Ann Robson OUTREACHNC’S PHOTO OF THE MONTH An image to inspire us all.

EAT RIGHT: Healthy Home Supports Healthy Habits Callie Yakubisin, RD, LDN

RECIPES FEATURED THIS MONTH

ENTREES

DRINK

DESSERTS

Tamale Pie Page 23

Mango Protein Smoothie Page 23

Irish Shortbread Page 29

Bangers and Mash Page 28

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French Yogurt Cake Page 59


Adult Day Health and Day Care Center

What our members like about The Retreat. . . "I love coming here. I know everyone and I'm doing things." ~Eleanor "I feel at home and the people are great." ~Emcee "It's a place I can socialize and interact with others." ~Alan "A great place to share." ~Doug Kathryn Doddridge, M.A. Executive Director

Schedule a Visit TODAY! Open Monday - Friday | 7:45 am - 5:15 pm

165 Shepherd Trail|Aberdeen, NC 28315 OutreachNC.com 910.722.1035 MARCH 2020

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from the editor As I sit in my office on a chilly Monday morning, the kids off to school and meetings in full-swing for everyone else, it’s quiet and I think of our theme this month: house and home. My mind conjures up the typical images of food served on a table, laundry floating down a hallway, an errant sock escaping into a dusty corner only to be discovered five minutes too late, a bathtub filling with warm water at the end of a long day when one’s body cries out for something soothing before the relief of bed. But as I get older and time slows down, Ralph Waldo Emerson’s words seem to make more sense to me when I think of home.

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.

Isn’t it so true? Through the years, when all the cooking is done and the bathtubs have been drained and the laundry is folded and put away, it is the people who have wandered those halls, sat at those tables and put a hand on our shoulder when even a hot bath couldn’t soothe us that make a house a home. It is our friends who frequent us that end up connecting us, starting with two and then four and then six and so on until somehow we grow. In this month’s issue we explore the practical side of house and home with tips on hiring a handy man for the everyday chores and projects we keep meaning to tackle (p. 48). We also hear from a Moore County hidden hometown hero who helps other women find homes of their own after struggle and hardship (p. 34) and continue our series on Aging Around the World with a peek into what it’s like to grow older in France (p. 54). Jeeves is catting around, as usual, so keep an eye out for him. And as a special treat, Brady Beck highlights natural home habitats in his photo essay (p. 40). We’ve also got plenty of recipes for filling your homes with all those enticing smells and fresh-from-the-oven treats to serve your friends when they frequent your porches, dining tables and over-stuffed armchairs, preferably with glasses of whiskey or mugs of coffee and a good story or two on hand. In friendship,

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Editor-in-Chief Amy Phariss | Editor@OutreachNC.com Creative Director & Designer Sarah McElroy | Coalfeather Art and Design Ad Designers Stephanie Budd, Cyndi Fifield, Sarah McElroy Proofreaders Abegail Murphy, Margaret Phariss, Kate Pomplun Photography Brady Beck, Diana Matthews, Mollie Tobias Contributors Colette Bachand, Brady Beck, Eddie Carmichael, Sara Morrison, Amy Natt, Crissy Neville, Jim Pedersen, Amy Phariss, Ann Robson, Jonathan Scott, Marcy Simpson, Meredith Stanton, Karen Sullivan, Callie Yakubisin Publisher Amy Natt AmyN@AgingOutreachServices.com Advertising Sales Executive Kara Umphlett KaraU@OutreachNC.com Marketing & Public Relations Director Susan McKenzie SusanM@AgingOutreachServices.com Circulation 910-692-0683 | info@OutreachNC.com OutreachNC PO Box 2478 | 676 NW Broad Street Southern Pines, NC 28388 910-692-0683 Office | 910-695-0766 Fax info@OutreachNC.com

www.OutreachNC.com OutreachNC is a publication of The entire contents of OutreachNC are copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services. Reproduction or use without permission of editorial, photographic or graphic content in any manner is prohibited. OutreachNC is published monthly on the first of each month.


TO the editor I enjoyed the January issue of ONC – so interesting to learn how Chinese culture deals with the problems of an aging society and how it affects all generations. I’ll be interested to keep up with this series. Anne R. My wife and I have been buying bread at the G. Charles Bakery in Aberdeen since we read about the bakery in the October issue. Great addition to our meals and much better than the stuff we were using before. Thanks for the tip. George C. The New Year’s checklist in the January issue regarding getting one’s affairs in order really struck a cord. I realized that having a will and keeping files is not sufficient to facilitate the person handling my affairs in case of incapacitation or death. So I’m making copies of this checklist and will immediately get to work on updating records and keeping them that way. This was a wake-up call I needed, so thank you for this practical tool. Allegra B. Several of my friends and I are reading along with the book club this year and loved Eleanor Oliphant. It wasn’t always an ‘easy’ read, but it was a good one. Keep them coming! Jane Z.

Intentional Organization:

A NEW YEAR’S CHECKLIST by Margaret (Mia) Lorenz, Attorney Happy New Year to You! Although January comes in with a bang as we celebrate the ending of a year and beginning of a new year, it can be a challenging month to live through. Family may have traveled to visit you, but now they are miles away again. The anticipation of the celebrations of the season is replaced with good memories, but the thrill is gone from your spirit. The Christmas decorations are removed and the travel around town is not as pretty. The mail may bring the bills for the inevitable payment for all the holiday fun. Work resumes in earnest without as many holiday/ vacation days on your monthly calendar. Some make vows to lose weight and exercise, which makes for grumpy, hungry people. On top of all of this, the weather can be colder and duller – especially without Christmas lights. In my work involving estate administration (helping people whose loved ones have died), January is traditionally the busiest month of the year. January is historically the month of the year in which most people pass away. January 1 is a date that has a lot of meaning, personally, for me. On January 1, 2011, my father died very unexpectedly while eating brunch at a local restaurant in Southern Pines. His heart stopped. Even though doctors were in the restaurant and helped with CPR, his only chance for survival would have been the administration of an electrical defibrillator within short order, and that did not happen. My father had retired from his first career in the early 1990s. His second career in his retirement years was full and varied. Like a lot of us, he had a lot of irons in the fire because he was a person who was not idle. My father had a home office with a very large wooden desk. The desk had many drawers full of papers that appeared neatly organized by file. He also had a personal computer on his desk; he had taken classes at Sandhills Community College to become fairly proficient at the basics of exploring the world wide web and as a result handled some business online. My father had a Last Will and Testament and other estate planning documents that were in good order.

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305 Page Road | Pinehurst, NC 910.295.1010 | frontoffice@wellenerdental.com

MARCH 2020

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advice

Our Aging Life Care ProfessionalsTM will answer any aging questions you may have. ASK THE EXPERT

Email us your questions! info@OutreachNC.com

Aging in Place by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA

&

My 81-year-old aunt is moving to the area to live closer to my family. Her plan is to purchase a small condo on one of the golf courses and remain there as she ages. We are trying to look ahead and plan for things she might need to make the home conducive to future needs. She currently uses a cane but is still very independent. Do you have any suggestions?

Many people choose to “age in place.” It has become a popular lifestyle choice with the baby boom generation, simply meaning the desire to remain in your own home as you age. The ability to age in place depends on several factors, having a safe, comfortable, and accessible home are a few. It is important to consider environmental adaptations, future care needs and the financial resources that will be required. Your aunt is starting with a clean slate, purchasing a home with this intent. It is important that she consider the location and set up of her new home. She will want a single floor home on the ground level to avoid stairs, and preferably a sidewalk or pathway that could accommodate a wheel chair or walker if needed. Even surfaces, minimal front or garage steps and good lighting are key to the outdoor area. A covered walkway or garage option is a plus to accommodate rain or snow. The potential advantage to a condo is that it is likely to be part of a community that offers outdoor maintenance and other support. As she begins looking at the interior layout, keep in mind that the fewer changes she has to make structurally, the more cost effective the move will be. This will help preserve funds that may be needed in the future to supplement care. Here are a few universal design essentials that will be important to her age in place plan:

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Zero entry shower – avoid a shower/bath combo or anything that requires her to step over something to enter the shower

Make sure the shower has enough space to accommodate a shower chair or bench

No step entry to the home or ability to install

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a ramp to accommodate a wheelchair if necessary •

Sturdy handrails at any entrance point

Wide hallways (42”) and doorways (35”)

Switches and handles at a level that could be reached if seated in a wheelchair (42” – 48” from floor level)

Once she makes her purchase, there are some other preventative safety measures and household features that can be put in place to enhance a safe environment. Do these things from the beginning and avoid waiting for a fall or crisis to prompt a specific need for something. Being proactive is one of the best things you can do. •

Hand held shower nozzle

Grab bars in the bathroom near the shower and toilet

Easy grip door handles (lever style)

Easy flip, rocker style light switches

Smart home capability to voice activate lights

Easy grip cabinet and drawer handles

Raised level cabinets and appliances that prevent her from having to bend over to open

Non slip floors with no loose areas or throw rugs

Emergency alert systems with fall detection

Once her environment is set up for success, you can start to plan for supplemental assistance that will most likely be needed at some point. Make a list of what resources are available to meet those needs, how they will be accessed and what the ongoing financial cost will be. Here are some things to consider:


What transportation services are available, when it is no longer safe for her to drive?

What grocery shopping and meal service options are available? Nutrition and hydration are important to maintain her health.

What options are available to provide personal care assistance, such as bathing and dressing?

Who can assist with sorting mail, managing money and paying household bills?

How will medications be monitored and administered? The pharmacy can often provide options.

Who can assist with household chores and maintenance?

What are local resources for social interaction?

What exercise programs are available to help maintain balance and mobility?

If pets are involved, who will help take care of the pet?

There may become a point when it is no longer feasible to remain at home: for example, if your aunt required skilled care, 24-hour care, or developed behavioral or cognitive issues that put her safety at risk. The cost to provide these things in the home can reach $20,000 plus per month. Living alone can also become very isolating, especially if she no longer drives and has not established friends in the area. It is important to determine the limitations now, so that a plan B can be agreed upon. Placement in an assisted living facility or nursing facility should be identified as a back-up. It is best to visit a few places while she is independent and able to make decisions (versus waiting for a crisis). Many people age in place successfully, but it requires a plan and some preventative steps. It also requires flexibility and a willingness to recognize and adapt to change. Another move at some point does not mean failure; it simply means a different plan became necessary to meet her changing needs. It is wonderful that your aunt has you to help guide her in navigating this change in her life. Keep in mind that you can only do so much, and she will need to be on board with making decisions that support her desire to remain at home. There are many professionals who can help you both, so remember to preserve the relationship you have with your aunt and ask for assistance along the way. Readers may send questions to Amy Natt, an Aging Life Care ProfessionalTM, certified senior advisor and CEO of Aging Outreach Services. She can be reached at amyn@ agingoutreachservices.com .

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Generations

OutreachNC asked adults and children our March question. Share your answer on our Facebook page.

What’s the first thing you do when you get home? Go outside and find the soccer ball. – Ben, 10 Let the dogs out. – Randy, 59 Take off my bra. – Sara, 54 Look for chocolate. – Amy, 44 Play Fortnight. – RJ, 6 Pet my dog and give her love. She is always waiting. – Meg, 14 Change clothes. – Glenda, 60 Start my homework. Then I can play all night. – William, 9 Take off my uniform and find my wife. Actually, switch that. Find my wife and then take off my uniform. – Charles, 52 Feed the cats! – Chuck, 56 Empty my lunch box. – Brett, 35 Take off my shoes and change my clothes. – Jennifer, 42 Ask my mom for a snack and hope it’s a “sometimes food.” – Jane, 7

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health

PHYSICAL THERAPY

Lymphedema by Dr. Sara S. Morrison

Lymphedema is a condition affecting 1 in 1,000 Americans. It occurs when fluid backs up in the arm, leg, or trunk, causing one area of the body to be much larger and out of proportion from the rest. Sometimes people are born not having enough lymph vessels or lymph nodes. By far, most cases of lymphedema are developed because of injury to the lymph or vein systems. This is common after cancer treatments. It is important to understand that many times the cancer itself does not cause the lymphedema, but rather the treatment for it does. Signs of Lymphedema • Swelling occurs in the arm/leg on the side of the cancer or injury

2. Radiation: Radiation kills cancer, but it also kills everything else as well. During radiation treatment, the lymph nodes in the immediate area often undergo radiation and are unable to drain the lymph from that area. 3. Vein Insufficiency: Normally, valves in your deeper leg veins keep blood moving forward toward the heart. With long-term (chronic) venous insufficiency, vein walls are weakened and valves are damaged. It can also occur after blood clots in the legs. The veins stay filled with blood, causing swelling in the legs and feet. The skin may look brown and flakey. Areas with the most lymph nodes:

• Dull achy pain

1. Abdomen (belly)

• Swelling initially improves with elevation, but as it progresses, elevation no longer helps

2. Neck

• Difficult to fit into clothes

When a person has cancer, surgery and/or radiation is often required to fully remove the cancer. Lymph nodes in the armpit, groin, or belly may be removed during surgery or damaged after radiation, causing fluid build up in these areas.

• Skin changes (e.g., discoloration, skin folds, peeling, breaks/cracks) Possible Causes of Lymphedema 1. Surgery: Many times cancer will be treated with surgery. During surgery, the doctor will remove anything that is affected by the cancer, including lymph nodes. When the lymph nodes are gone, they cannot drain the lymph from this area.

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3. Armpits and groin

This process of fluid build-up may be fast or slow, depending on how many lymph nodes were affected. Some people notice excess fluid in a matter of weeks. For others, it’s years. Some never develop lymphedema. The important thing is to know the signs of lymphedema and get treatment IMMEDIATELY!


Lymph fluid is made of water as well as other “gunk” leaving your body. Since it is made of more than water, lymphedema is different than other edema. It is much thicker and more dense than regular swelling. We call this “fibrous” or “high protein” fluid. Successful PT treatment of Lymphedema includes 4 phases: 1. Skin Care The skin over your affected area is very sensitive. It is very important to take good care of it! Keep the area moist, clean and protect it in the sunlight. 2. Manual Lymph Drainage A specialized, very light massage is used to target the lymph system and stimulate the lymph vessels to remove more fluid. The fluid can be “rerouted” around missing/broken lymph nodes. I think of this like a traffic detour. If you are on your way from Point A to Point B, the best route, as they say, is a straight line. But when you head out to work on Monday morning, you find there is a traffic detour. (ugh!) In order to get from Point A to Point B, you have to detour in a big circle. You will eventually get to work, but it is not the fastest route. Your lymph system is much like this. Lymph vessels are special because the direction of their flow can be changed. When we move excess lymphedema out of your fingers and up your arm, we find that there are missing lymph nodes in your armpit. No worries! We can just reroute the flow to lymph nodes that ARE present and working! This way, all of the fluid gets removed from your body. The fluid may take the long route, but it will leave. 3. Bandaging Compression bandages make sure the fluid continues to drain properly during MLD and for a long time afterwards. This is important to keep improving and not let that fluid creep back into your system. 4. Low-level Exercise Light range of motion exercises will help stimulate the lymphatic flow. These will also restore your movement. Resisted exercise using weight is not advised. Following these steps will be the best way to manage your lymphedema. Lymphedema is a life-long issue. It cannot be cured, only managed. Following these steps and being treated at first sight of these symptoms will allow you to live a healthy, normal life. No doctor referral is needed for Physical Therapy, and treatment is often covered under your health insurance. Lymphedema is a specialized kind of Physical Therapy. For best results, make sure you are treated by a Certified Complete Decongestive Therapist.

Dr. Sara S. Morrison Owner Total Body Therapy & Wellness / PT, DPT, CDT, FCE, CFT, Cert DN, Cert FMT MARCH 2020

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health

H E A LT H C O A C H I N G

Livability Scores: Living Better in Our Community by Marcy Simpson, LCSW

If I were to poll our readers (those of us who happen to be transplants to the area), how many of you would say there was an organized method that aided in the process of determining where to relocate? Did you just close your eyes, turn around three times and place a pin on the map, or were you looking for specific factors such as climate, cost of living, or leisure activities? With the aid of the Internet, one can research best cities in which to live with a tool called a livability score. Some rankings even score the median age of residents with activities being geared toward specific generations. And while this process can help you quickly evaluate different areas on a more surface level, let’s talk more about how we can support each other as a community no matter our age or generation. Livability scores range from 0-100 and result from ratings across several different factors that include amenities, cost of living, crime, education, employment, housing and weather (https://www.areavibes.com/). The American Association of Retired People (AARP) has developed a Livability Index for the aging population. They utilized seven categories; housing, neighborhood, transportation, environment, health, engagement, and opportunity (https://livabilityindex.aarp. org/). In her book, Disrupt Aging, Jo Ann Jenkins defines a livable community “as one that has affordable and appropriate housing, supportive community features and services, and adequate transportation options for getting around, which together contribute to the independence and engagement of the residents in civic and social life.” This definition could be applicable to any age of residents, as these factors contribute to access and opportunity for everyone.

So, as members of the various communities in our area, what does it mean to live here? What do we value for ourselves and our families? How is that measured? Asking ourselves these questions encourages us to think about our part in making things happen. After all, a neighborhood is made up of people who generally want things better. And since our families now span across generations, improvements in health care, housing, streets and green spaces benefit all of us, regardless of our age. Several years ago, I moved to a rural area with little support in place. I learned about a program sponsored by the local high school where students in the early education class ran a preschool and my son was accepted. It was a positive experience for him to learn and make new friends, while I was able to build relationships with other moms. The young students gained much experience about a possible career path, so it was a win-win all the way around! Building a sense of community occurs when you actually get involved. Focusing on problem-solving and using resources at hand empowers us to support an inclusive community that accommodates all ages and increases the livability of our area. Jenkins, Jo Ann. (2018). Disrupt aging. Public Affairs Press. p.105. Marcy Simpson, LCSW, is a Health Coach at Pinehurst Medical Clinic in Pinehurst and Sanford. She can be reached at 910-235-3347 or msimpson@pinehurstmedical.com.

TOP 5 PLACES TO RETIRE FOR 2020 according to U.S. News and World Report

1. Ft. Myers, FL

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2. Sarasota, FL

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3. Lancaster, PA

4. Asheville, NC

5. Port St. Lucie, FL


17 ANNUAL DEMENTIA & CAREGIVER SYMPOSIUM TH

TUESDAY, APRIL 28, 2020 8:00 A.M. - 4:00 P.M. DENNIS A. WICKER CIVIC & CONFERENCE CENTER 1801 NASH STREET SANFORD, NORTH CAROLINA 27330 The symposium is for family and professional caregivers as well as community members wanting to learn more. Discover current trends in dementia care, practical self-care suggestions, and information about legal issues and technology to assist you in caregiving. Informational seminars, guest speakers, exhibitors, health screenings, door prizes and more!

REGISTRATION 8:00 A.M. | PROGRAM STARTS 9:00 A.M. LUNCH PROVIDED. Respite Care for Families Available & Arranged in Advance REGISTRATION REQUIRED: Please visit www.DementiaNC.org/Sanford2020 or contact Lisa Levine at: (919) 832-3732 or llevine@DementiaNC.org Family Caregivers, Clergy, Students, Volunteers & General Public: $10 Professionals: $40 | Continuing Education Contact Hrs. 4.5 For Questions or to schedule respite care, Please Contact: Holly Hight, Senior Center Caregiver Specialist, The Lee Co. Govt. Enrichment Center (919) 776-0501 ext. 2230 | hhight@leecountync.gov

HOSTED BY: MARCH 2020

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health

B R A I N H E A LT H

The Science Behind Financial Exploitation As We Age

by Karen D. Sullivan, Ph.D., ABPP, Owner of Pinehurst Neuropsychology In addition to the established cognitive changes that accompany aging (mild declines in vision and hearing, processing speed, complex multitasking and rapid recall), neuropsychologists are now adding a new change: AgeAssociated Financial Vulnerability (Lachs & Han, 2015). While we need to remain mindful of not becoming overly protective as society ages, recent neuroscience research suggests that added oversight and protections of complex financial transactions may be warranted for adults age 65 and older, especially for those with any degree of cognitive impairment. At the heart of this sensitive issue is financial capacity, which is defined as “the ability to manage one’s monetary affairs in a fashion consistent with personal self-interest and one’s values.” The capacity to engage in any type of decision making exists on a continuum and is time, knowledge and task specific. For example, someone may have medical decision-making capacity but not the capacity to enter into a complex real estate contract. Financial capacity, specifically, is made up of three types of knowledge: declarative, procedural and judgement. That is, we need to have intact knowledge about our specific assets (how much we own or possess), how to gain access to our assets and the ability to come to sensible conclusions related to these assets. Two cognitive abilities that relate to financial capacity have been the subject of recent research and these are: deception detection and vulnerability to influence. Both of these higher order cognitive skills have been shown to decline in some normally aging older adults beginning around age 60 and worsening with advanced age (Asp et al., 2012). Those diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment and all subtypes of dementia are particularly at risk for these impairments. Depending on the degree of this decline, one’s ability to infer the intentions of others, including those with the intent to deceive, may become impaired and lead to a “doubt deficit,” in which false and far18

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fetched claims fail to prompt feelings and thoughts of doubt can occur. The degree of an older adult’s “doubt deficit” has been shown to predict vulnerability to influence and financial scams. Financial exploitation can come in many forms, including persuasion, manipulation and deception. There are psychological vulnerabilities that increase with age and increase the chances someone will be financially exploited. One approach for assessing psychological vulnerabilities that increase one’s likelihood of being financially exploited is called the “IDEAL” model (Blums, 1998) include: Isolation from family/friends Dependency · Emotional dependence: Support and encouragement · Physical dependence: Food preparation, help with medications, cooking or transportation · Information dependence: Financial or legal advice, printing out forms, going to bank/post office, bill paying, etc. Exploitation of a vulnerability Acquiescence Loss of assets The most common tactic used in financial exploitation is creating indebtedness. This means that over time a relationship loses it reciprocity and becomes more one sided with the goal of increasing reliance and dependence. The goal is to establish a “You owe me” belief in the older adult. Once this belief is accepted, the perpetrator has gained influence, giving is reversed and a disparity begins with the older adult now giving more and more to “pay the person back” for good deeds.


10 RED FLAGS FOR FINANCIAL EXPLOITATION • Some adults between 65-85 • All adults over 85 • Recently widowed • Individuals who are geographically isolated • Individuals who have had a significant cognitive or emotional change • Recent large purchases and/or give large amounts of money and gifts to a new person

Michelle Stinnett 

• Deviation from previous wills • Multiple will changes • Past or current family tensions/conflict • Alcohol abuse

SERVICES:

What can you do?

Wills & Trusts

If you are concerned about financial exploitation in yourself, a loved one or a friend, consider these action steps: Consider a financial power of attorney. Designating a financial power of attorney to double check big purchases or any type of gift can be a good practice to make sure you aren’t vulnerable to losing more than you intended. Consult with a neuropsychologist. Neuropsychologists provide a gold standard evaluation to assess financial capacity and can make objective recommendations that protect the individual. The goal is to find the “sweet spot� between respecting individual values and preferences while supporting sound decision making. Medical insurance cannot be used for these evaluations. Contact Adult Protective Services. This government agency exists within the Department of Social Services to protect vulnerable people, and this includes those at possible risk of abuse, neglect or exploitation including financial exploitation. Contact your local county government office for more information.

Power of Attorney • Michelle is a proud military spouse who received her undergraduate degree from Southern Oregon University and graduated from Notre Dame Law School in 2013. Since 2014, Michelle has served clients in Moore County. She believes that fully understanding her client’s current situation and goals are important to enable her to work towards the best possible outcome for her clients.

Directives Preparations Real Estate Law Real Estate Closings

• Michelle has two young daughters with whom she spends most of her free time. They enjoy going on nature walks together, playing at the local parks, and exploring all that Moore County has to offer.

Dr. Karen Sullivan, a board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, owner of Pinehurst Neuropsychology Brain & Memory Clinic and creator of the I CARE FOR YOUR BRAIN program, can be reached at 910-420-8041 or by visiting www.pinehurstneuropsychology.com or www.icfyb.com. MARCH 2020

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advice

VETERANS CORNER

Health Conditions

by Jim Pedersen, VSO & Director of Moore County Veterans Service Office The Veterans Administration considers some health conditions and diseases to be “presumptive conditions.” In other words, these issues did not result from a specific injury during active service but result from exposure to chemicals, toxic substances, environmental conditions or other situations. Presumptive conditions affect large numbers of veterans who were stationed at specific locations and during certain times and may develop years after these individuals separated from service. Illnesses that resulted from Agent Orange in Vietnam are one example of presumptive conditions.  As with all VA disability claims, a veteran seeking a disability on a presumptive illness needs an honorable discharge and must show a connection between their military service and the health condition from which they suffer. Veterans must establish proof that they were in the area of concern during the correct time frame in order to have a valid claim.  Our office has processed many claims for veterans who were exposed to radiation during WWII, Vietnam veterans who were exposed to Agent Orange, former Prisoners of War and Gulf War Veterans exposed to numerous toxins. Since the VA expanded Agent Orange presumptive conditions to include Blue Water veterans, we are seeing an increase in claims from veterans who were stationed on ships in the waters around

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Vietnam. However, there are other groups of veterans who may also suffer from qualifying presumptive conditions which are not as widely known.   POWs  Former Prisoners of War who were detained for more than 30 days may be awarded benefits for many presumptive diseases and conditions at any time following their discharge from active duty. The list of approved conditions is lengthy and includes mental disorders, physical disorders such as stroke, heart disease, arthritis, cirrhosis of the liver, and digestive disorders including chronic dysentery, irritable bowel disease, peptic ulcer disease and malnutrition.  Camp Lejeune Water Contamination  The VA recognizes a presumptive service connection for certain diseases associated with two on-base water supply systems which were contaminated with the volatile organic compounds trichloroethylene (TCE), a metal degreaser; perchloroethylene (PCE), a dry-cleaning agent; benzene; and vinyl chloride. To be eligible for a presumptive service connection, veterans must have served at Camp Lejeune for at least 30 days between August 1, 1953, and December 31, 1987, and later developed one of the following eight conditions: 


burn pits. The VA is monitoring veteran exposure to these • Aplastic anemia and other myelodysplastic syndromes  hazards in order to determine if future action is needed.  Health conditions associated with burn pit exposure vary • Bladder cancer  depending on several factors, such as the type of waste being • Kidney cancer  burned, pre-existing conditions and wind direction. Affected • Liver cancer  veterans are encouraged to report exposures to airborne • Multiple myeloma  hazards such as smoke from burn pits, oil-well fires or • Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma  pollution during deployment, as well as other exposures and health concerns, to the Airborne Hazards and Open • Parkinson’s disease  Burn Pit Registry at www.veteran.mobilehealth.va.gov/ Gulf War Veterans  AHBurnPitRegistry.  Gulf War Veterans who served in the Southwest Asia The registry is open to any veteran or service member who theater in Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Qatar, served in:  U.A.E. and Oman as well as the Gulf of Aden and Gulf • OEF/OIF/OND or in Djibouti, Africa, after Sept. of Oman, the waters of the Persian Gulf, Arabian sea and 11, 2001;  Red Sea and the airspace above these locations may also be • Operation Desert Shield or Operation Desert Storm or eligible for disability based on presumptive conditions. These the Southwest Asia theater of operations after Aug. include functional gastrointestinal disorders, chronic 2, 1990;  fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia and other undiagnosed • Veterans who are experiencing symptoms they illnesses, cardiovascular disease, muscle and joint pain and feel are caused by exposure to burn pits should seek headaches. Compensation is based on whether the condition:  •

Adult leukemia

Started while the veteran was on active duty before Dec. 31, 2016; 

Caused veteran to be ill for at least six months; 

Qualified veteran for a disability rating of 10% or more; 

Was caused only by service in the Southwest Asia theater of operations. 

VA medical help. Veterans who are already enrolled in VA healthcare should talk to their primary care provider. Those who are not enrolled in VA health care should contact an Environmental Health Coordinator at their nearest VA medical center.  

Burcellosis

Campylobacter jejuni 

Veterans who wish to file a disability claim for a presumptive condition may call the Moore County Veterans Service office to talk with an accredited Veterans Service Officer. The office at 905 Pinehurst Ave., Carthage, is open Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Appointments are required and may be made by calling 910-947-3257.  

Coxiella burnetiid (Q Fever)

Nontyphoid salmonella

Shigella

West Nile Virus

The VA considers the following to be presumed disabilities:

VSO Jim Pedersen, right, is the director of the Moore County Veterans Service Office. Experienced nationally-certified VSOs Kelly Greene, and Robert “Bob” Hall, a Vietnam-era veteran who retired from the Army after 30 years of service, assist Moore County veterans with their disability claims.

Burn Pit Exposure: Veterans who deployed as contingency operations in the Southwest Asia theater, Afghanistan or Djibouti may be at risk of health problems as a result of exposure to open

O&P

Orthotics

Prosthetics

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910.295.4489 MARCH 2020 OutreachNC.com

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life

E AT R I G H T

A Healthy Home Supports Healthy Habits by Callie Yakubisin, RD, LDN

As a Registered Dietitian, I know that teaching people what they should eat can be easy, but teaching people how is much more difficult. March is National Nutrition Month® and this year’s theme is “Eat Right Bite by Bite.” In other words, a healthy diet doesn’t have to be overwhelming; it can happen when one improved food choice is made after another because even small changes can make a big impact. The secret to making better food choices is to plan, prepare, and pack foods at home. When foods come from home, you have more control over prioritizing foods that provide the most nutrients, while limiting those that contribute excess saturated fat, sodium, and added sugars. Most poor food choices are preceded by a busy schedule, never ending to do list, and/or lack of available healthy options. Avoid meal missteps by keeping your kitchen stocked with healthful foods all year long. Here are a few healthy staples to keep on hand: Whole Grains Try out whole grains like brown rice, whole wheat bread, oatmeal, quinoa, and farro. Despite what popular diet trends may tout, carbohydrates can fit into a healthy diet. They provide fuel, fiber, and important vitamins and minerals. The Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommend that at least half the grains we eat should be whole grain. Oils & Nuts Often when trying to eat healthier, one of the first things to go are foods high in fat. However, fat is an important part of our diet because it provides energy, helps our body absorb certain nutrients and produces hormones, as well as helps us feel satisfied. Stock up on a variety of healthy vegetable oils like olive, canola, and sesame for roasted vegetables or a quick stir fry. Nuts are also a great source of healthy fats and can be incorporated into your diet as a quick and satisfying snack or can be tossed into oatmeal, salad, stir-fries, and baked goods.

and vegetables. Consider mixing up the kinds of fruits and vegetables you buy, as there are many healthy varieties in the supermarket: fresh, canned and frozen. Dairy Dairy foods like milk, yogurt, and cheese are a great staple to keep in the fridge to add flavor, high-quality protein, and nutrients under-consumed by most Americans, including calcium, potassium and vitamin D. Milk can serve as the base of creamy soups and smoothies or stand-alone as a recovery beverage after a workout. Low-fat plain Greek yogurt is so versatile that it can go from breakfast with fruit and granola to dinner as the topping on your tacos and chili, adding a boost of protein to any meal. Protein Along with fat, protein can help you feel satisfied, preventing you from reaching for unhealthy treats between meals. Stock the pantry with protein-rich canned beans and meats. Along with dairy foods, other good protein options include skinless chicken, eggs, fish, tofu, pork tenderloin and extra lean ground beef. Beverages While the theme for National Nutrition month may be “Eat Right Bite by Bite” don’t forget that what you drink matters too. Sipping on oversized sodas, sweet teas, and sugar packed energy drinks will add excess sugar and calories to your diet with little nutritional value. Instead, stay hydrated by reaching for water and low-fat milk to drink. In fact, a new study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that the combination of natural sugar, fat, protein and sodium in milk did the best job of hydrating participants. Keep a water bottle on hand and if you need an afternoon pick-me up, forgo sodas and energy drinks and enjoy a creamy latte topped with cinnamon.

Canned Goods Stocking the pantry with non-perishable canned foods means that coming home after a week-long vacation to an empty fridge does not have to end in takeout. Foods like beans, diced tomatoes, vegetables, fruit in 100% fruit juice, broth, and fish can all be found in cans and used to make a quick and healthy meal. Dietitian Note: Be aware that some canned foods are high in sodium, so look for low sodium varieties or rinse the food in water to decrease the sodium content. Fruits and Vegetables When serving a meal, half of your plate should be filled with fruits 22

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Stay on top of your goals and health by stocking your kitchen with healthy foods, sipping smarter and planning meals ahead of time. Visit choosemyplate.gov or eatright.org for more healthy eating tips and recipes.

Callie Yakubisin, RD, LDN is the Manager of Food and Nutrition Outreach for The Dairy Alliance in North Carolina and Virginia. She can be reached at cyakubisin@ thedairyalliance.com


e i P e l a m Ta

Prep Time 20 mins, | Cook Time 30 mins, | Total Time 50 mins Servings: 6

Ingredients • 1 6-ounce container Greek yogurt • 3/4 cup milk

• 1 cup mango pieces frozen

Ingredients Filling • 1/2 pound lean ground beef • 1/2 medium onion, chopped • 1 (15-ounce) can kidney beans, rinsed and drained • 1( (15-ounce) can tomato sauce • 1 cup frozen or canned whole corn, drained • 1 tbsp chili powder Crust Topping • 1 cup self-rising cornmeal • 1/2 cup self-rising flour • 1/2 cup lactose-free milk • 1/2 cup water • 1 large egg lightly beaten • 1 cup shredded cheddar or pepper-jack cheese Instructions 1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. 2. Combine beef and onion in a large cast iron skillet and cook on medium heat 10 minutes until beef is browned. Drain meat. Return meat to pan and add remaining filling ingredients; stir well. 3. Combine topping ingredients and pour over meat in skillet. 4. Bake 30 minutes or until filling is bubbly and crust is light brown.

n i e t o r P o g n Ma e i h t Smoo

• 1 tbsp honey

• 1 tsp turmeric fresh grated • 1/4 tsp ginger fresh grated

Instructions 1. Combine yogurt, milk, mango and remaining ingredients in blender. 2. Blend until smooth. 3. Serve immediately.

Prep Time 5 mins,2020 | TotalOutreachNC.com Time 5 mins MARCH 23 Serving: 16 ounces


health

B O D Y H E A LT H

The Intentional Living Checklist: Resolutions for Living Your Best Life By: Meredith Stanton, M.D. Assistant Medical Director, FirstHealth Behavioral Services

Now that we’re a few months into the new year, it’s a great time to check in on those resolutions we made back when the proverbial ball dropped and we committed to making 2020 our best year ever. Many of us spent a fair amount of time in January looking for ways to improve our lives. While some goals may be larger than others, there are plenty of ways to build in small changes that can have big impacts on how well we live, especially when it comes to our mental health and well-being. FirstHealth Psychiatrist Meredith Stanton, M.D., has a checklist of sorts that can help you be more intentional about reducing stress, increasing happiness and being the best version of yourself.

Do these things to keep 2020 on the right foot: 1. Get enough sleep. We’ve all heard it, but it’s true. Sleep deprivation can cause stress and make you more reactive to stressful events in your life. Most experts agree that you need 7-9 hours of sleep per day, depending on personal and genetic factors. 2. Work exercise into your schedule. Aside from the physical benefits, exercise can also help reduce stress. When you work out, your body releases endorphins, which generally put you in a better mood. 3. Have a hobby. It’s important to make time for things you enjoy, whether it’s crafting or hiking. Hobbies can bring a sense of fun to life that can help stave off the negative effects of stress. Hobbies can also help develop positive relationships with other like-minded individuals.

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4. Social media reset. While social media can help you find exciting activities and connect, it can also enhance stress by serving as a non-stop distraction. Try to start fresh by turning off notifications, using do not disturb features at night and forcing yourself to take daylong (or even weeklong) breaks from your social networks. 5. Just say no. We’re all busy, and at times we make it even worse on ourselves simply by adding more to our already overloaded plates. Don’t be afraid to take time for yourself, or create more time for your family, by cutting back on the to-do list. A quiet night at home never hurt anyone, and it’s a good bet that those moments can help reduce stress. A few other tips It never hurts to think through your personal stress relief toolkit to help you stay focused or get back on track when you’ve had one of those days. Take frequent breathers to collect your thoughts, and if you can, physically step away from a stressful situation for a few minutes. Try out positive self-talk or a few deep breaths. On the front end, prioritize your day by deciding which are must-do tasks and which can be put off or eliminated.

Meredith Stanton, M.D., is a board certified psychiatrist with FirstHealth Behavioral Services. A native of Georgia, Dr. Stanton earned her medical degree from the Mercer University School of Medicine in Macon and completed her internship and residency in psychiatry at Atlanta’s Emory University School of Medicine. She has a particular interest in adults and children with anxiety and mood disorders, especially PTSD, generalized anxiety and depression.

Celebrate Life

Quail Haven Village Our spacious, garden-style, ground level apartments allow you to enjoy the independence of your home with the convenience of nearby services, activities, our Clubhouse and access to a full continuum of care. Call Lynn to schedule a visit! 910.295.2294

QuailHavenVillage.com Hours: Monday-Friday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. 155 Blake Blvd. | PINEHURST A PART OF THE LIBERTY FAMILY OF SERVICES

MARCH 2020

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life

FA I T H A F T E R 5 0

The House of God by The Rev. Colette Bachand

Where does God live?

joys” in the second half of life.

In a church or a temple? In a mosque, or a shrine, or a synagogue? In the sky, the forest, the ocean?

I find that older adults, when they look back on their life, see that God has lived within them as they overcame hard times - when they’ve had to downsize their home and move somewhere new; or when they lived through a divorce; or when the dementia diagnosis came. A sense of God within carried them through.

In this month’s edition, as we reflect on house and home, I wonder where God calls home? Religious organizations often call their places of worship the “House of God.” Sometimes we think where we live is so special we call it “God’s country,” but really, where does God live? I guess to answer that we first wrestle with who, or what, we think God is. Since humans have struggled to answer that for eternity and haven’t found a definitive answer yet, we won’t solve it here either but there is something I’ve wondered about that might help answer the question as to where God lives.

I’ve often wondered, what if God isn’t a noun but rather, what if God is a verb? A noun, of course, is a person, place or thing. A verb is an action, so what if we thought of God as action? After all, God is love and loving; God is transformation and transforming. God is acts of kindness, moments of joy and peace in the midst of chaos. God is in the act of forgiving, in the act of doing something for someone else; God is in the act of dreaming. God is in the resiliency I see in older adults who have faced so many changes and hardships, yet persist and quite often blossom despite these hardships. In his book Falling Upward, Richard Rohr writes that heartbreaks and disappointments give us what we need to have “spiritual

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If God has a home, then I think God lives in the messiness of our lives. God lives in the courage we didn’t think we had; God lives in the moment when we realize life is often sad, complicated and challenging but also, sometimes, life is just pretty darn good too. In so many places in the Bible, we are invited by God to “abide with me.” To “abide” with God is deeper than just a place to live and hang our hats. To “abide” is to be keenly aware that we are living in the presence of something bigger than ourselves. To “abide” with God means to live in a place where there is trust, comfort and gentleness for our souls. If God has a home, then it is right where we are. God’s home is within our waking and sleeping, in our loving and sharing; it is in our giving and receiving. God’s home is in the action of life around us. God’s home is the call from

a friend, a really good golf day, and the smell of dinner on the grill.

A noun might need a place to live, but an action is always on the move, always touching, healing, inspiring. So it seems to me God’s home is everywhere … and everyone is welcome.

Rev. Colette is an Episcopal priest who has the honor of serving as Chaplain at Penick Village in Southern Pines and has worked in geriatric care for 15 years. cwood@penickvillage1964.org


! s U n i o J

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dementia, brain disorders and mild cognitive impairment and their family member or friend to gather in fellowship, free of charge.

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AOS & Friends Care is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization

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life

COOKING SIMPLE

Adapted from Ina Garten’s recipe published at foodnetwork.com Ingredients • 2 pounds fresh sausage (approximately 6 – 8 large sausages) • 2 pounds Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and diced • Salt • ½ stick unsalted butter, cut into small pieces • 4 oz. sour cream • ½ cup whole milk (or half-n-half if you’re willy nilly about dairy and whether or not your pants fit) • 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard • 2 teaspoons whole-grain mustard • 1 teaspoon dry mustard • Freshly ground pepper • Parsley, freshly-chopped, for garnish Directions 1. Preheat oven to 425F. 2. Arrange the sausages on a sheet pan and bake in the oven for 18 – 20 minutes, until the sausages are cooked through. 3. Place the diced potatoes in a saucepan with water and 1 tablespoon salt. The water should just cover the potatoes. Bring the water to a boil and then reduce to a simmer for 20 to 25 minutes, until the potatoes are tender when pierced with a fork. 4. Drain the potatoes and return to the pot. Add the butter, sour cream, milk, Dijon mustard, whole-grain mustard, dry mustard, salt (just keep tasting and adding more as you mix), and the pepper.

& s r e g Ban Mash

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5. Beat the potatoes in the pan with a handheld mixer until smooth and creamy. You can also do this in a standing mixer; just be sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl from time to time. 6. Serve heaping mounds of potatoes topped with sausages, which can be sliced diagonally (or left whole) and perched atop said potatoes in an artful, rustic manner. 7. Garnish with parsley for color and maximum effect. 8. Enjoy with a Guinness or glass of your favorite red wine; a Zinfandel or Syrah might work well here to compliment the heartiness of the bangers and heaviness of all that mash.


Irish d a e r b t r Sho Ingredients • 2 cups flour • 1 cup salted butter (Kerrygold is the preferred choice here)

• 2/3 cup sugar • ½ cup cornstarch

• 1 tsp. vanilla extract • Sugar for sprinkling

Directions 1. Beat butter and vanilla until combined with no lumps. Add the sugar and mix together until well-combined and smooth. 2. Mix flours together and add to butter/sugar mixture. Mix until flour is fully incorporated.

3. Dump mixture onto a floured work surface and knead for approximately 30 seconds until the dough forms into a smooth ball. Divide dough in half and set one portion aside. 4. Lightly flour rolling pin and roll dough into ¼ inch thick round or square. You can either cut the cookies into shapes (clovers, hearts, etc.) or simply into rectangles or squares. Place the shapes onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and place into the refrigerator for at least one hour and up to 12 hours.

5. Bake at 350F for 8 minutes. Remove from oven and sprinkle lightly with sugar. Return to the oven for 5-7 more minutes, until lightly brown around the edges. Remove the cookies from the oven, allow to cool for 5 minutes on the pan and transfer cookies to a cooling rack until they cool completely.

6. Enjoy with a cup of Irish Breakfast tea while you knit yourself a pair of socks and re-read the Outlander series, which we realize is Scottish. We take any opportunity, however, to spend time with Jamie Frasier. 7. Enjoy!

MARCH 2020

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OutreachNC’s 2020

Book Club

Our second book of 2020 is truly inspiring. It was, for many of us, a slow read. Robinson’s novel, a letter from a pastor reaching the end of life to his young son, doesn’t have the pacing of a thriller or the page-turning structure of a romance, and for that we are grateful. We need books like Gilead to remind us how beautiful a slower pace is, how lovely it is to sit with well-written sentences and really get inside the head of a character rather than brace for another plot twist. Here are 10 Things About Gilead: 1. Taking us back to the 1950s, Robinson’s novel is the story of men: young men, old men, soldiers, fathers, sons (prodigal and otherwise), pastors, sinners and sometimessaints. Robinson, a woman, does a spectacular job of allowing the reader to forget she is, in fact, a woman at all. I’m always shocked when a writer is able to do that, to tell a story regardless of gender, race, time or place. Robinson does it beautifully. Page 75 offers an example: “There was a full moon outside my window, icy white in a blue sky, and the Cubs were playing Cincinnati.” Isn’t that just what a man might say? 2. Speaking of men, Robinson’s protagonist Reverend John Ames writes often about his own father and grandfather. Of his grandfather, he writes, “He said he knew then that he had to come to Kansas and make himself useful to the cause of abolition. To be useful was the best thing the old men ever hoped for themselves, and to be aimless was their worst fear” (p. 81-82). I think there are many men now, today, who might understand this sentiment and nod in agreement. 3. It might be tempting to think a letter from a pastor to his son might shed a man of the cloth in the very best light, might be full of wisdom and thoughtful life lessons. While Robinson’s tale certainly includes these sentiments, John Ames is also flawed, which makes his character richer and, ultimately, more likable. We can, as readers and fellow flawed humans, connect with him, which means we care. To care about a character is the best part of enjoying a novel. 4. Robinson has actually written a trilogy or series of books including Home (Book 2) and Lila (Book 3). We hear they’re all excellent, and we’re tempted to shut ourselves away in a cabin near a flowing river one weekend and binge-read them all. 5. Jeeves particularly appreciated the featuring of a feline friend in this novel, even if that cat was dragged around by little boys. Jeeves gives Gilead a solid 4.5 stars, as he too appreciates meandering, slowly unfolding beauty.

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6. On page 230 Ames writes to his son about the tragic ubiquity of the “molded salad of orange gelatin with stuffed green olives and shredded cabbage and anchovies that has dogged my ministerial life these last years....” This reminds me of my childhood and a similar molded green gelatin salad with cottage cheese and pineapple. What is it with religion and molded gelatin? 7. We would all be well-served to remember what Ames writes to his son, a piece of advice passed down through the men of his family: “This is an important thing, which I have told many people, and which my father told me, and which his father told him. When you encounter another person, when you have dealings with anyone at all, it is as if a question is being put to you. So you must think, What is the Lord asking of me in this moment, in this situation?” (p. 197). 8. There is conflict and tension woven throughout Ames’ story, which keeps readers on our toes, wondering what happened all those years ago, where the truth lies and if there is resolution on the horizon. Robinson’s added texture never overshadows the bigger picture but only adds dimension. 9. I want to write this on a sticky note and put it on my bathroom mirror: “Our dream of life will end as dreams do end, abruptly and completely, when the sun rises, when the light comes. And we will think, All that fear and all that grief were about nothing” (p. 166). 10. No matter your feelings on religion, there is something in this book for all readers. There is beauty in the writing, thoughtfulness in the message and curiosity in the plotting. The pacing is on-point, and we hope whomever chooses to read it comes away with a tilted chin, pondering one or another aspect of this lovely life we’re honored to live. We love sharing books with everyone and anyone who’s got a review, comment, thought, critique or favorite quote to send along. Feel free to write to us at editor@outreachnc.com and let us know your thoughts on Robinson’s novel and her thoughtful, wise protagonist.


UPCOMING ASSIGNMENT CONTESTS FOR 2020

Pet Pics! Show us y our best!

Over here at OutreachNC, we're dedicating our upcoming June issue to pets, and we want to see yours - dogs, cats, birds, horses, bees and any other animal friend with a special place in your homes and hearts. Winners will receive a PetSmart Gift Card!

Submission deadline: April 1st Visit the following link for more details: https://outreachnc.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Assignment_ONC-Pet-Pics-Flyer-2020.pdf

Interview a Veteran!

Open to all students between the ages of 5 and 18. Interview a Veteran about the lessons learned during his/her military service. Three Prizes: One winner from each age category (elementary, middle & high school) will receive a $100 gift card. The winning interviews will be published in the November ONC issue. 2nd and 3rd Place interviews will be published online.

Submission deadline: September 1 Visit the following link for more details:

MARCH 2020

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https://outreachnc.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Assignment_ONC-Veteran-Flyer-2020.pdf


— S E I T H G I E IT’S THE ! S E I D A L E R ’ AND THEY by Eddie Carmichael

Laughter will be in abundance when television favorites Amanda Bearse and Teresa Ganzel light up the Owens Auditorium/BPAC stage in Judson Theatre Company’s production of Neil Simon’s The Odd Couple (Female Version). The familiar Oscar Madison and Felix Unger of the 1960s original play are now 1980s ladies Olive and Florence. Longtime friends and colleagues Bearse and Ganzel—billed in alphabetical order--talked with OutreachNC about their lives, their careers, and what makes The Odd Couple so darn funny. Eddie Carmichael: What was your first encounter with The Odd Couple? AB: I watched the tv series with Tony Randall and Jack Klugman. I did eventually see the film but was actually more of a fan of the tv series. I discovered the female version while 32

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teaching acting at the Seattle Film Institute, using it as scene study for female actors. TG: I first watched the terrific Klugman/Randall series, and I watched the Lemmon/Matthau movie again the other day—it still holds up, it’s a classic. EC: What makes The Odd Couple continue to resonate with people, through all its iterations across the decades? AB: The play(s) are reflections of the current pop culture at the time. The characters are well developed in both versions, and the bottom line is, it’s funny! Who doesn’t love to laugh?! TG: It’s the relationship between these characters. There will always be slobs and clean freaks and mismatched roommates. These things are timeless.


EC: What drew you to the characters of Olive and Florence? AB: I was interested in Olive because I thought the audience might be expecting me to play Florence because she’s the character that most closely resembles the character I’m best known for playing: Marcy D’Arcy on Married…with Children. Although I am not a slob, Olive’s grounded take on life closely resembles my own. TG: I recently did a Justin Tanner play called Heartbreak Hotel. We got great reviews and one of the critics and several audience members compared my character in that to Felix in The Odd Couple. When that happens, you listen. I am very much like Felix/Florence emotionally. I am not half as neat, but I do like things to be perfect when I entertain. EC: Both characters are onstage a lot. How do you prepare? AB: As with my teaching, I use the Meisner technique to begin my work. I hand write all of Olive’s text without any punctuation, as if it’s one sentence. That is the best way to learn the words by rote without learning any pre-ordained inflection. TG: I love a role where you have a lot of stage time, because you can really have fun playing the scenes rather than overanalyzing each and every little word. To prepare, I read articles and watch videos about past productions. It’s so fun putting all the pieces of the puzzle together: What does my character want? What are the relationships? What happened the day before the play begins? What happens right before you enter? It’s like a wonderful game. EC: So much of your work has been in comedy. What are the ingredients of successful comedy (for an audience)? Amanda, what were your favorite shows/episodes to direct? AB: Without a doubt, the directing experience a few years ago, with producer Morgan Sills off-Broadway with the original play Party Face starring Hayley Mills was the best of my career, and not only because it brought me back to my roots in the theatre. I have enjoyed so many of the opportunities I’ve had directing television: Married…with Children, MadTV, The Big Gay Sketch Show, and more. TG: Make sure the air conditioning is on! There is no real formula for comedy. It is magic and it can’t be over-thought. It is mysterious and that’s why it’s so precious and wonderful. EC: You’re both currently successfully “navigating your second 50,” which is the slogan of OutreachNC. What is the secret of a successful life? What do you want from the rest of the time you have on earth? AB: The greatest production of my life, the one that has brought me the greatest joy, is that of being a parent to my

daughter, Zoe. I made choices in my professional life in order to fully experience the gift of growing her. I try to live my life truthfully, to follow the four agreements: be impeccable with your word, always do your best, don’t make any assumptions, don’t take anything personally…it sounds simple, but to live that in each and every day is an important walk to walk. I am grateful for all of the opportunities and blessings I’ve had in my life, including some of the challenging ones. I am thrilled to be at a new beginning with performing again, but just want to keep the creative juices flowing, and just see where that takes me. My life is full of love and gratitude…it doesn’t get much better than that! TG: The “second 50” is way better than I’d imagined! My best trick to keep on track is a gratitude journal: five things you are grateful for every day. I hope to do more traveling, and it would be great to make work a part of it. I just keep moving forward. And I hope to spend even more time with friends and family. My father passed away last year at 96. He had a very positive outlook, and he even played golf and worked at the pro gift shop at his club till he was 94. So I had a great role model for living a happy, healthy second act. EC: What should audiences expect at Judson Theatre Company’s production of The Odd Couple? AB: Laughter! Laughter! Laughter! But also, truth in our shared humanity and a look back at a bygone era of pop culture. Please say hi after the show…I just hope you have a great time, and I look forward to seeing you all there! TG: Neil Simon is America’s most popular playwright, and The Odd Couple is his biggest hit. For fans of the film and series, seeing the female version will be a new fun twist. And I like to think people who have never seen it will see why it’s an enduring classic. Come laugh your head off – and come say hi after the show in the lobby! Laugh along with Amanda Bearse and Teresa Ganzel in Judson Theatre Company’s production of The Odd Couple (Female Version) at the newly renovated Owens Auditorium at BPAC (on the campus of Sandhills Community College) in Pinehurst, March 26-29. Tickets are available online at JudsonTheatre.com. Limited quantities of tickets are available to buy in person at local outlets, beginning March 1. Discounts are available for groups, students, and military (see website for details). MARCH 2020

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Hidden

HOMETOWN HEROES:

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SUSAN BELLEW OF FAMILY PROMISE

OutreachNC.com | MARCH 2020

by Crissy Neville | Photography by Diana Matthews


Everyone deserves a home. Not just a house, dwelling or shelter, but a place to put down roots, raise a family, make memories. However, for many who face financial difficulties, personal conflicts and emergencies, the seemingly basic human need for a home is not a reality, but instead the stuff dreams are made of. Enter Family Promise of Moore County, and suddenly this “stuff ’’ has teeth, with the nonprofit and its leader taking a bite out of the meat of the matter — homelessness. Last year, over 9,000 people experienced homelessness in North Carolina on one night during the last week of January, according to the Point-in-Time Count data compiled by the North Carolina Coalition to End Homelessness. The extrapolated forecast for the entire year estimated that nearly 28,000 people would experience homelessness over the year. The report showed that 31% of those counted were people in families with children, while 69% were adults with no dependent children. Across the state, homelessness has decreased by 24% since 2010, but the numbers are still alarming. The Department of Housing and Urban Development defines a homeless person as an individual or family who lacks a fixed, regular, and adequate nighttime residence. What does this look like? Recall the person sleeping on the street, in the woods, or in his or her car. Remember the ones living in temporary quarters such as transitional housing, tent cities, or motels and, finally, realize there are individuals and families from both of these situations who next move into an agency for 90 days or less to receive further services; such is the case at Family Promise. OutreachNC’s Crissy Neville talked with FPMC Executive Director Susan Bellew this month about her organization’s work to secure homes for the homeless.

Crissy Neville: You are doing important work in Moore County, Mrs. Bellew. Can you tell me about Family Promise’s mission and the organization’s history? Susan Bellew: The mission of Family Promise is to provide shelter, food, and opportunity to homeless women and their children. We are a local 501c3 nonprofit of a national program formerly known as the Interfaith Hospitality Network. Today there are over 200 affiliates, each independently operated. The organization began in Union County, New Jersey, in 1988 in response to the growing number of homeless families seeking shelter and support services. The founder, Karen Olson, had a vision for a faith-based program of interdenominational congregations partnering to house and feed the homeless seven nights a week, 365 days a year, with a day center run by the IHN staff. FPMC opened in 2000 and operated in that mode for many years, but in 2016 moved to a static model by purchasing a large home in Aberdeen for our permanent site. We love our new location! Many other affiliates use this model, too.   CN: The focus is on women and children and not entire families or homeless men. Why? SB: We serve the family unit of women who are Moore County residents, ages 18 or older, unless emancipated and any minor children in their custody. This is the population we serve because 98% of the families that apply for help here are headed by single mothers who meet these criteria. This focus reflects the primary area of need in Moore County. Those eligible for our services include mothers and children who are without housing or who will be without housing in the near future, employed or able to find work soon, not currently using drugs or alcohol, or suffering from an untreated mental illness.

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CN: Tell me how your services work. Who are your partners in the community?

Foundation provide resources and support to help fulfill our mission.

SB: As a 501c3, we are not a governmental agency and have a small group of six part-time staffers and me as the one full-time employee.

CN: Are your services duplicated by any other agency in Moore County?

A fun fact is that three of our staff members are former residents! Isn’t that awesome? They are such great role models for the families in the program. Additionally, we receive volunteer support from 15 area congregations across all denominations and from various organizations.

The volunteers and community partners are tremendously important. Each week, Monday through Thursday, volunteers from the congregation of the week arrive at 5:30 p.m., to provide fellowship, a meal for the families, and often homework help or tutoring, if needed. Additional volunteers from the same church or synagogue will come to spend the night. Multiple staff members from Faith Promise stay on weekends when families cook their meals. Volunteers also serve on our board and help with special events for fundraising, such as the Harvest the Promise function in the fall and our spring luncheon. Various agencies such as the Sandhills Coalition for Human Care, the Boys & Girls Club, North State Law, and the Moore County Community

SB: No, we are the only center of our kind. There is not currently a homeless shelter in the county, not even for men. Some agencies provide some of the same services we offer, such as The Salvation Army, which has a limited financial assistance program. There are other feeding programs. The items we provide to meet our guests’ immediate needs such as personal hygiene items, shoes, underwear, glasses, medications, are made possible from grant monies received from the Moore County Community Foundation. There are resources that we can’t provide, such as counseling and medical services; we refer our guests out for those. CN: What does the typical caseload look like at FPMC? Are there rules for involvement? SB: We provided over 3800 nights of shelter last year, and 57% of our guests were children ages five and younger. A typical family for us is a mother and her two kids. We had 45 children in 2019, in line with the national average age of 9 for a homeless person in America. We can accommodate up to four families and are an 18bed facility counting bunkbeds and cribs, with four bedrooms and a fifth bedroom for staff.

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Each room has a bathroom. The mother sleeps in the same room as her children, and while here, families can stay 90 days, though there are exceptions, and during that time, the woman has to meet with caseworkers, look for work, or be working to save money for housing. The minor children are in school or daycare. We call this the Shelter Program. After 90 days or when housing is secured, the Bridging the Gap Program helps the female with finances for deposits and such so she can get into permanent housing faster. But sometimes, on a case by case basis, we extend the stay over 90 days.

Like right now, we have a mom who is working at a good job and is accumulating savings, but she had a baby in December, so now she is over the 90-day mark. She is doing all the things we asked of her, though, so we are fine with her staying longer. If we had her leave now, we would be setting her up for failure. CN: What is your favorite thing about your work at Family Promise?

SB: I love interacting with the families and the kids, and I love to see the journey each one is on. They start here in crisis, unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I get the privilege of helping them find hope in just a matter of months. Last year, 71% of our families transitioned to

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permanent housing after leaving FPMC. While I celebrate this achievement, I feel sad that the remainder did not make the positive changes they needed. Not all come in and follow our guidelines in areas such as housekeeping or parenting. For example, we do not allow spanking, and not all can abide by that rule. Not all stay sober or restrain from substance abuse, either, and such is the cause for immediate eviction. We work with each individual to see if she is serious about making changes so we can work together to overcome obstacles. But I cannot tell a guest what she has to do that is on her. CN: What strengths and background do you bring to the table at Family Promise? SB: I have a strong personality and am a good decision-maker. While empathetic to the plight of our guests, at the same time, I know how to give tough love when needed and show dignity and respect. I enjoy building relationships, but I want our families to be accountable for themselves. I came here from another nonprofit, and after 21 years at this job, I still love seeing our families grow and blossom in this temporary residence we provide for them. When guests reflect on this time, I hope they see me and FPMC as being a positive stepping stone on their journey home. Learn more about Family Promise of Moore County and Executive Director Susan Bellew at http:// fpofmc.org/.


IT’S a

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Experience the evocative showpiece inspired by Arabian folk tales.

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Fanny Mendelssohn: Overture in C Major Prokofiev: Piano Concerto No. 2 Rimsky-Korsakov: Scheherazade

A young man will be selected to attend the Roy Williams basketball camp and a young woman to attend the Wolfpack Women’s camp.

The deadline for all applications is March 31. To apply or find out more information on the scholarships, visit CEMCPower.com.

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House and Home Photo Essay by Brady Beck

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W

Wildlife have adapted countless means to provide a safe place to raise their young. From nest boxes to cavities to stump holes, nest and den sites may provide protection from rain, snow, or temperature extremes as well as keeping them safe from predators. The following are only a few examples of different Wildlife homes.

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A young male Red-cockaded Woodpecker peeks out of the nest in a live pine tree. The exterior design is very sticky and meant to make the cavity very difficult for snakes to climb and eat eggs or nestlings.

This fuzzy young Eastern Screech Owl catches a few late afternoon rays while waiting for dusk and the first meal of the evening to be delivered. Screech Owls will readily nest in wood duck and 42 OutreachNC.com | MARCH 2020 squirrel boxes.


Home for these Ruby-throated Hummingbirds is made of spider silk and lichen and is roughly the diameter of a quarter. The nest stretches to increase in size as the young birds grow throughout the summer.

The American Kestrel is our smallest member of the falcon family. They will readily use old cavities constructed by Pileated Woodpeckers for their nests. This youngster is waiting on the next lizard or grasshopper snack.

The Northern Mockingbird builds a stick nest that both parents will vigorously defend if anything, including people, get too close. MARCH 2020

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The Carolina Gopher Frog has several requirements for “home.� They need ponds like the one pictured to lay their eggs and tadpoles to develop. They also require stump holes around these breeding ponds for protection the rest of the year.

This Gray Fox kit waits for mom to return with the next meal. These resourceful mammals had chosen a drainpipe near a local school for their den site. 44 OutreachNC.com | MARCH 2020

Pileated woodpeckers are our largest woodpecker and make cavities that can later be used by dozens of other animal species.


Season Nine Sponsors

Owens Auditorium@BPAC Group Discounts available online or email JudsonTheatre@gmail.com

Bringing the stars to the Sandhills since 2012! MARCH 2020

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To register, contact:

910.692.0683

info@aosnc.com

FREE SEMINAR The Best Gift:

A Family Conversation to Communicate Your Wishes Let's change the way we talk about advance care planning. This important family conversation allows your family to honor your legacy by ensuring your wishes are being fulfilled with your blessing and guidance.

Five Wishes, an end of life planning tool, will be distributed.

Speaker: Jennifer Tyner, AOS Care Management

Thursday, March 19 | 4:00 p.m. Seven Lakes Chapel in the Pines 581 Seven Lakes Drive | WEST END Doors Open at 3:30 p.m. for Registration & Light Refreshments

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OutreachNC.com 47


HUNTING THE PERFECT HANDYMAN by Jonathan Scott

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There doesn’t seem to be any information on where the concept of handymen started. In my mind, it goes back to Alley Oop, the caveman, when he was away on a business trip hunting for mastodons and Mrs. Oop noticed a leak in the ceiling of their cave. She took a conch shell and blew through it, which was a signal for the ladies of the tribe to meet at the edge of the river. There, Mrs. Tuk-tuk told Mrs. Oop that her husband was good with rocks and mud and would fix the Oop’s ceiling for a handful of berries and a sharpened spearpoint. From that day on until very recently, the challenge of finding a handyman remained pretty much the same. It was by word of mouth—at the riverside, in the market, or on the telephone. And, unfortunately, if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like using the Internet or maybe doesn’t even have a computer, word of mouth is still the best way to find a handyman. If, on the other hand, you feel comfortable with Firefox, Explorer, Safari, or Chrome, finding and choosing a handyman has entered a new dimension. A great many men (and women) who have the skills to do what are typical handymen projects can be found online. Several websites offer you a list of pre-qualified candidates. Others let previous customers post reviews about their experiences, giving you a chance to judge for yourself. Unfortunately, even though the Internet has drastically changed the game of finding the right handyman for your project, it’s still a game, and it’s important to know some of the rules.

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1. Almost without exception, the handymen who have listed their services on these sites are paying in some way for the privilege of putting the word out about their services—and you should know they are going to pass that cost along to you. They might pay a monthly fee or, more commonly, they are paying a fee each time someone contacts them, whether or not they land the job. 2. Most of the reviews you see connected with these listings are legitimate. But they aren’t all “verified,” unless the website is structured so that only former customers can post a review. It’s also important to keep in mind that a customer with a gripe is more likely to post a bad review than a satisfied customers is to post a good one. So, you might bring up a bad review with a handyman before you hire him (or her). Several bad reviews, though, is the reddest of flags. 3. The premiere site for finding help like a handyman is angieslist. com. Handymen you find there have been vetted and would be qualified choices. Unfortunately, Angie’s List is still focused on metropolitan areas. If you are lucky enough to live in one of the counties in which this magazine is distributed, you might find only a couple of names. Similar sites such as homedoctor.net, yourhomemd.com, and handymanconnection.com, don’t currently have any listings at all for the zip codes in our region. 4. Contractors are sometimes competing with single workers with just a truck full of parts and a low-hanging tool belt. Many post their services on the same sites. It can be confusing to sort out individual handymen from companies that have fleets and a payroll manager. But your project might require a contractor. If, say, a permit will be needed for the work done (e.g. an addition built) or an inspection required (e.g. rewiring an old house), then a company or a licensed specialist might be a better choice. If, on the other hand, you request a quote from a building contractor to fix a broken window, you’ll have wasted at least a couple of people’s time. 5. Many sites offering handyman services will ask you to give them a great deal of information up front. This includes your name, your addresses (email and street), your phone number, and exactly what project you want done. They’ll tell you it’s to help match you with the right handyman. But you might not want to share all that info, especially without knowing what’s going to happen to it. It’s unlikely someone will use that information to rob you, but lots of people will suddenly know your front steps are getting wobbly. 50

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A site I think is definitely worth trying is thumbtack. com. For the zip codes of, say, Sanford, Pinehurst, and Rockingham, there are about 30 listings each from which you can choose. Each listing has a profile picture, and since you will be having this person in your yard or in, on, or under your house, that can be reassuring. Each listing has information on that person’s specialties and experience, and most post photos of past projects. Best of all, their hourly rates are prominently displayed. I like keeping all the cards close in my hand (my project needs) until I decide whom to contact. Remember that the handyman really, really, wants you to post a positive review when the project is done. A bad review on a site like thumbtack.com can seriously hurt someone’s business. Here are a few traditional tips for choosing a handyman, some of which have been affected by today’s search technology. WATCH OUT FOR SCAMS Be wary of someone proactively showing up in your driveway with “a special offer since we’re in your neighborhood,” or “I noticed that such-and-such could use a repair.” He might be completely honest, but this sort of approach is often used by people who want to cheat you. Online listings in legitimate sites tend to sort out scammers in a hurry. GET THE JOB IN WRITING This can be very important, but, let’s be honest, the world often works on a handshake. The paper trail is vital if something goes wrong. Basically, the bigger the job, the more important to have something written down. You might want the handyman to put down how long the project should take and, of course, the cost—or at least a range. Sometimes legitimate handymen can’t know the extent of a project until they see it themselves. On sites like thumbtack.com, the parameters are agreed upon by both parties in advance. ASK ABOUT GUARANTEES It’s a rule of thumb never to pay a handyman in advance. But sometimes you might be asked to pay for the cost of materials. This can be understandable, but you can write the check directly to the lumber yard or

hardware store. Better yet, you can pick up the materials yourself. Some handymen— and all contractors—are bonded. That means if they, say, accidentally blow a hole through your living room floor, they have insurance to reimburse you. This insurance doesn’t come cheap, and that cost will be passed along to you. Anything can happen but know your own risk tolerance before you decide how important bonding is. THINK ABOUT COMPARISONS. You’ve probably heard the advice to always get three estimates. To me, that’s advice for a perfect world. If your bathroom faucet is leaking, it’s not only time consuming for you to find three handymen and ask for estimates, it’s time consuming for them. Many of the handyman websites will charge them for each lead, and you’ll be wasting two of them good money. It’s much easier if you’re willing to assume all three will take the same amount of time to just ask their hourly rates. Then decide if you want to save money or, on the other hand, assume the more expensive handyman will do the best job. Today’s version of Mrs. Alley Oop at the riverside might be nextdoor.com. It’s yet another social media website, but the emphasis is on the local market. You join for free and, by giving your zip code, you’re connected with others who live close by. It’s often used by newcomers to an area to find friends, but it’s also used by people looking for, or reporting on, services such as handymen. Here’s a recent post: “Based on our experience, avoid at all costs Such-and-Such local flooring company.” The Such-and-Such Company might not have been at fault in whatever happened, but I think I would find someone else if I needed a new floor. The truth of the matter is that the most reliable and skilled handyman might fly under the radar. He or she might not have a listing on Angie’s List, or thumbtack. com, or even an ad in the yellow pages. He might have succeeded for decades by providing excellent work for reasonable prices by using word of mouth. It might just take blowing through your own conch shell to gather your friends and ask for his business card.

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Putting Relationships First The 34.9 Group at Morgan Stanley We believe in putting relationships first. It’s the cornerstone of our practice.

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Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC (“Morgan Stanley”), its affiliates and Morgan Stanley Financial Advisors or Private Wealth Advisors do not provide tax or legal advice. Clients should consult their tax advisor for matters involving taxation and tax planning and their attorney for matters involving trust and estate planning and other legal matters. The investments listed may not be suitable for all investors. Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC recommends that investors independently evaluate particular investments, and encourages investors to seek the advice of a financial advisor. The appropriateness of a particular investment will depend upon an investor’s individual circumstances and objectives. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP®, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S, which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements. Life insurance, disability income insurance, and long-term care insurance are offered through Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC’s licensed insurance agency affiliates. Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC is a registered Broker/Dealer, Member SIPC, and not a bank. Where appropriate, Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC has entered into arrangements with banks and other third parties to assist in offering certain banking related products and services. Investment, insurance and annuity products offered through Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC are: NOT FDIC INSURED | MAY LOSE VALUE | NOT BANK GUARANTEED | NOT A BANK DEPOSIT | NOT INSURED BY ANY FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AGENCY As Seen In Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC. Member SIPC. CRC 2878642 01/20

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d n u o r A g n i g A World the

France by Amy Phariss

As one of the highest scoring countries in the world for many markers of living well, the experience of aging in France is an example of how the aging process and experience is affected by resources, infrastructure and a cultural emphasis of, well, joie de vie – roughly translated as a cheerful, joyful way of life. The French, it turns out, not only live longer than most in the world, with a life expectancy of 82.7 years, but they spend much of their later years pursuing their passions, enjoying family time and relaxing after years spent working and rearing children. Rather than the American penchant for second careers or working well past retirement age, the French retire earlier than their American counterparts and place a high priority on enjoying their second half. How do they manage yet another French paradox?

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Catherine Skura of Sandhills Community College in Pinehurst, NC sheds some light on retirement and aging in France. As an expat living in the United States, Skura regularly visits her home country of France to spend time with her 92-year-old father who still lives at home in the village in which Skura grew up. OutreachNC’s Amy Phariss spoke with Skura about her observations of aging from both an American and French perspective, what life is like for her father and his compatriots and how she might explain how the French manage such high-quality retirements. This interview has been edited for length. Amy Phariss: Can you tell me about your father and his current living situation in France? Catherine Skura: I have a 92 year old dad. He is blind because of glaucoma. However, he is still living at home because my brother basically still lives there and is the guardian. In that sense, my dad is lucky because mentally – he’s just very clear, he can tell you what day and time it is. He has perfect conversations as long as he can hear what you are asking. I have another neighbor – same thing, he still lives at home as well. But again, no history of mental issues. No Alzheimer’s or dementia.

What we do nicely in France is that if people want to live at home, it is encouraged. If they are still physically able, they will have their meals delivered, and we have services where a person will come in and serve and heat/warm up the meals. My father does that. Someone comes Monday through Friday to help him eat. That is pretty common. A lot of people in the village where we live do that. They will come in and microwave the food and sit with the person while they eat. There is help from the government for this. It depends on the income of who lives in the house. It also depends on the state of the person, if the person is disabled. AP: In France, your tax rate is much higher than in America. What is the cultural attitude for taxpayers paying for services such as these?

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CS: I guess we’ve always paid a lot of taxes, so there isn’t much question about that. In general, we pay more taxes in Europe than we do in the US. It’s a little bit more socialist. We realize we pay for the people who can’t pay. Would we like to pay less taxes? Sure. But... some families would not be able to keep the elderly parent with them. In this case, the person would have to go to a home. If they are still healthy, they go to a retirement home where they can come and go. If they need more attention, they go to a place where it is ‘medicalized,’ which is what we call it. It’s not all free. The quality of the care depends on the income that you have. If you’re poor, you will end up in a place, but it’s not like you will have a nurse constantly checking on you. In Europe, we have done a lot to improve these conditions. The old hospices were very sad. Amy Phariss: What is the cultural attitude toward aging in France? Are people afraid of getting older in France? CS: Yeah, I think they prefer to stay and look as young as long as they can. There is a lot of vanity. A lot of people go through cosmetic surgery, I’m sure. Men and women. They do want to look good. Again, not everybody. More in the big cities. There is more competition. French people spend a lot of time tanning on the beaches. We all know it’s so unhealthy, but boy do they want the tan. That’s hard to change in France. Amy Phariss: Is there an emphasis on physical health in France? CS: Yes! Every ad about food, they will remind you that eating too much sugar and salt and not exercising will lead to obesity. I think it’s the law now. Yes, they do emphasize it.

Because our healthcare is more socialized, French people don’t wait to go see a doctor. Here, people are afraid because they have to pay. In France, we just go. Sometimes it’s too easy. People go for little boo-boos. But generally, French people don’t wait until it’s a huge problem.


For elderly people, they have free vaccinations for the flu at least and probably some other things. You just call your doctor and the doctor or the pharmacist will administer the vaccine. Or the doctor will just drop by one afternoon and do this.

We do have doctors that drop by your house – in the countryside. In cities, I’m not too sure. Our doctor still does this, especially for elderly people or people who are very sick and who shouldn’t be out transmitting this illness. In general, with French healthcare, if you are sent home to recover, the nurse will come to you two or three times a day. We have services for that. If you have a bandage that needs to be changed for risk of infection, the nurse will come. AP: Sometimes, I hear from the elderly in the United States that they feel isolated or “invisible.” Are the elderly as secluded as they are in America? CS: No, not as much. Often in France, the children will rely on grandma or grandpa for childcare. This is often the cheapest childcare. And the grandparents will want to do this. Our retirement age is ridiculously early. They want to increase it to 64 and we are having a revolution! It is 62 now. In some professions, it’s in your forties. It’s a ton of money because if you retire at 62 and live until 85, that is a lot of drawing of money from the government. AP: How is community manifested in France? Here it’s often church and volunteer work. What is it like in your father’s village?

LIFESTYLE: There is no doubt the French have a reputation for living life to the fullest, appreciating the finer things and managing work, family and beauty regimens with a certain dignity the rest of the world clamors to achieve. Whether or not the reality is, in fact, quite so chic, here are some books that explore French lifestyle and the je ne sais quoi that makes the French way of life so infectious. All You Need to Be Impossibly French: A Witty Investigation into the Lives, Lusts, and Little Secrets of French Women – Helen Frith-Powell (Plume, 2006) Ageless Beauty the French Way: Secrets from Three Generations of French Beauty Editors – Clemence von Mueffling (St. Martin’s Press, 2018) French Women Don’t Get Facelifts: The Secret of Aging with Style & Attitude – Mireille Guiliano (Grand Central Life & Style, 2014) How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are: Love, Style, and Bad Habits – Anne Berest, Audrey Diwan, Caroline de Maigret & Sophie Mas (Doubleday, 2014) The French Beauty Solution: Time-Tested Secrets to Look and Feel Beautiful Inside and Out – Mathilde Thomas (Avery, 2015) Home Sweet Maison: The French Art of Making a Home – Danielle Postel-Vinay (Dey Street Books, 2018) La Vie Est Belle: The Elegant Art of Living in The French Style – Henrietta Heald (Ryland, Peters & Small, 2019)

CS: Church in France is dying. They don’t even hold services every Sunday because sometimes nobody shows up. Church is no longer the center. The community will be more around a Christmas market, so now everybody and the surrounding villages will come. They will organize games and activities at the village level. Anybody can come if they buy a ticket. Once or twice a year, they will do a lunch or dinner. The villages will often give some cookies and a bottle of champagne on their birthday. There are things like this. There is one big difference. Here in the U.S., the elderly will do a lot of volunteer work. It’s not so big in France. MARCH 2020

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Here the people are super giving. In France, we are a little bit more selfish. AP: Do the French associate retirement with decline? CS: No, no, no. Retire as soon as you can. They feel they can now enjoy themselves and travel. They do a lot of traveling. This is the generation when we still have the money to do this. The next generation that comes along, I don’t know how we will continue this. There aren’t enough people putting in and so many people taking out. But no,

French people don’t associate retirement with decline. They associate it with leisure. They think about what they didn’t have time to do because they were at work. AP: Many Americans identify strongly with our careers or jobs. It is a large part of what makes up our identity, which sometimes makes retiring difficult for us. Would you say this is true in France? Do French people strongly identify with careers? CS: I think if I look around and think, it’s probably more a job. They go do the job and go home when it’s time to leave the office. Most of the people I know, they view it more as a job. This may be more limited by the people I know. I’m trying to think of anyone who thinks of it as a career. I had one friend in college who was a teacher. For her it was a career. But she’s already retired, too. She’s been retired for years, actually. She is my age. She is going to be 60. She started to work, and she was in education. In some professions, the government lets you retire as long as you have enough time in service. AP: What benefits do you have from the government in retirement? CS: You have a retirement check coming in. Some professions (airline pilots, teachers), have a special pension that they contribute to, and then they draw also on the pension. The pensions can be pretty good. That’s why some people are against reform. They are afraid to lose those pensions that benefit them. Retirement in France is more automatic. As soon as you work, you participate. AP: What would you say is the best part of aging in France? 58

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CS: The early retirement. You can really live out your golden years. It’s a little easier in Europe. You still need cars, but we have (had) a good train system. You can hop on a train in Europe and go all over. The distances in France just aren’t the same. It’s a smaller scale. There is also public transportation. In our village, we have a bus system to the city. As elderly people, you often will benefit from half-priced fares for things like this.

People in France love to travel in retirement, and the smaller scale of Europe and good transportation makes that easier. AP: What would you say is the hardest part of aging in France? CS: If you are alone. If you don’t have children or if they live far away, for many that would be the hardest. Some children are not attentive. AP: What are the most expensive aspects of aging in France? CS: For people who do not own their homes, I would say housing. However, home ownership is really encouraged in France. But for those who don’t, that would be the biggest. But healthcare, we have access to that. My mother spent a month in the hospital before her death and the bill was zero. She had dialysis and treatments. Nothing. Now, somebody did pay. But not her, not my brother, not her husband. AP: Finally, Catherine, if you could sum up retirement in France in three words or phrases, what would they be? CS: (pauses and smiles) Active…enjoying life….and sharing stories. Many people of my father’s generation want to always remember how appreciative the French people were for the Americans coming during the war. They will always tell the younger people. They always want to commemorate the Americans. I know younger people who drive old Jeeps for this reason. We had songs written about this. If the ‘ricans didn’t come, we’d be German or Russian.


One of the recipes that seems to appear in all French cookbooks and lifestyle guides is the ultra-simple, and thereby chic, French Yogurt Cake. French children and adults rave about the cake as an afternoon goûter, or snack. We hope you’ll enjoy it with a steaming espresso or, if you’re feeling virtuous, a cup of hot lemon water.

French Yogurt Cake

Ingredients • ¾ cup plain whole-milk yogurt (Greek yogurt works well here) • 3 large eggs • ¾ cup sugar • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract • 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour • 2 ½ teaspoons baking powder • ½ teaspoon salt • ½ cup vegetable oil (we prefer extra virgin olive oil) *Optional additions include ¼ tsp. almond extract and/or finely-grated lemon zest Directions 1. Preheat the oven to 350℉ and grease a 9-inch springform pan with nonstick vegetable spray. In a mixing bowl, whisk yogurt, eggs, sugar and vanilla together (and almond extract or lemon zest if using). Combine flour, salt and baking powder and add to the wet ingredients until just combined. Using a spatula, fold the olive oil into the flour mixture until the batter is thick and glossy. 2. Pour the batter into the springform pan and bake for 35-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

3. Allow the cake to cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan and then let cool completely before slicing.

COOKBOOKS: My Paris Kitchen: Recipes and Stories [A Cookbook] – David Lebovitz (Teen Speed Press, 2014) A Kitchen in France: A Year of Cooking in My Farmhouse: A Cookbook – Mimi Thorisson (Clarkson Potter, 2014) Around My French Table: More than 300 Recipes from My Home to Yours – Dorie Greenspan (Rux Martin/Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2010) Barefoot in Paris: Easy French Food You Can Make at Home – Ina Garten (Clarkson Potter, 2004) The Bonne Femme Cookbook: Simple, Splendid Food That French Women Cook Every Day – Wini Moranville (Harvard Commons Press, 2011) The French Slow Cooker – Michele Scicolone (Rux Martin/ Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012) In the French Kitchen with Kids: Easy, Everyday Dishes for the Whole Family to Make and Enjoy – Mardi Michels

4. To serve, dust with powdered sugar and top with macerated berries. 5. This cake can be made 3 days ahead and stored at room temperature in an airtight container.

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Aging in France 15% 18% 18% of the French population is 60 years or older.

Pension System France’s pension system (often replaces more than 50% of income) has helped the country dramatically decrease poverty among the elderly. From 25% of elderly in poverty in 1970, by the mid-2000s, <10% of French households lived in poverty.

48.63%

12% France’s publicly funded healthcare costs the country roughly 12% of GDP per annum.

$305

Prevalence of obesity in France among the adult population: 15%. Prevalence of obesity in the US among the adult population: 40%.

22%

Cigarette smoking rates in France: 22%. Cigarette smoking Out of pocket healthcare rates in the US: 13.7%. payments per capita per annum: USA - $1200, France - $305

#16

France ranks 16th in the Global Age Watch Index, a global ‘report card’ on aging around the world. As of 2015, 48.63% - average tax rate Switzerland ranked 1st and the France; 29.8% average 60inOutreachNC.com | MARCH 2020 United States came in at 9th. tax rate in the US.

$250 Billion

In 2014, healthcare costs topped more than 250 billion Euro or 310 billion USD, 76% of which was publicly financed.

95% 95% of the French population has healthcare coverage either through employers or meanstested vouchers. Private and for-profit healthcare companies offer supplemental and complementary insurance.

Top 3 Top three leading causes of death in France include coronary heart disease, Alzheimer’s/dementia and lung cancer.

82.7 Of the 27 EU countries, France ranks #1 among both men and women for life expectancy, with an average of 82.7 years.


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GREY MATTER

See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 64

ACROSS

1. Yields Manila hemp 6. A type of gin 10. Japanese ankle sock 14. Swiss city 15. Applied to 17. Achievements 19. Japanese title 20. Possesses 21. Belgian city 22. Child 23. Great delight 24. Petty quarrel 26. Gathered 29. Zoroastrian concept of holy fire 31. Path 32. Legendary hoops coach Riley 34. A citizen of Denmark

DOWN

35. Flat 37. Upper-class young women 38. Payment (abbr.) 39. Distort 40. Affirmative! (slang) 41. One who has a child 43. Without 45. Workplace safety agency 46. Political action committee 47. Period of plant and animal life 49. Swiss river 50. Sino-Soviet block (abbr.) 53. State of being kept secret 57. Hobbies 58. One-time Korean ruler 59. Sudden attack 60. Born of 61. Assists

1. Ancient Greek sophist 2. Famed composer 3. Spore-bearing fungi cells 4. Chief executive officer 5. Defunct Syrian political party 6. Thin wood 7. Polynesian garlands 8. Fluid replacement (abbr.) 9. Flammable hydrocarbon gas 10. Multi-leveled 11. Influential diarist 12. Gambles 13. Many subconsciousnesses 16. Current unit 18. Illumination unit 22. Tantalum 23. Steps leading down to a river 24. Kids love him 25. Before 27. Fencing swords 28. Mountain range in China 29. Payroll company 30. A way to pack together 31. Business designation 33. Thyroid-stimulating hormone (abbr.) 35. Forage fish 36. Greek temple pillars 37. Internet mgmt. company 39. Rouse oneself 42. In a way, covered 43. Elaborate silk garment 44. Cooling unit 46. Riley and O’Brien are two 47. __ fide: genuine 48. Ancient Incan sun god 49. Poker stake 50. Trigonometric function 51. Interesting tidbit 52. Adieus 53. U.S. Treasury position 54. Midway between east and southeast 55. Doctors’ group 56. 62 Women’s __ movement | MARCH 2020 OutreachNC.com


Guess Who?

FUN FACTS

I am a movie director born in Georgia on March 20, 1957. Shortly after receiving a degree in film and television from NYU, I made my first feature film. I have since made many thought-provoking and celebrated films.

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Looking for a reason to celebrate? Here are just a few of the holidays that occur during the month of March. 3/1: National Peanut Butter Lovers Day 3/2: Dr. Seuss’s Birthday 3/2: Read Across America Day 3/4: Hug a GI Day 3/4: National Grammar Day 3/5: World Book Day 3/9: Read Aloud Day 3/11: Johnny Appleseed Day 3/12: Genealogy Day

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FOCAL POINT FULL HARDWOOD HISTORIC KING MODERN

3/13: K-9 Veterans Day 3/14: National Pi Day 3/17: St. Patrick’s Day 3/20: First Day of Spring 3/22: American Diabetes Alert Day 3/23: World Meteorology Day 3/24: World Tuberculosis Day 3/25: Tolkien Reading Day 3/26: Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

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SPIKE LEE

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OVER MY SHOULDER

Our Very Own Leprechaun

by Ann Robson phrase borrowed from Judith Viorst referring to the many Every March for many years I have shared stories about jobs a Mom has to do. One day this perky 4-year-old replied: St. Patrick’s Day. I grew up in an Irish Catholic family and “On page 264 of the Mother’s Manual!” I still use the phrase fondly remember celebrating St. Patrick. His day is a bright and often get the eyes-rolled-back look. spot in the waning days of dreary winter. It was a tradition to break any Lenten fast on March 17 and we took advantage As a tomboy she was quite accident prone and has some to enjoy food, drink and fun. scars to prove it --- on her chin from trying to climb the On March 17, 1970 our personal celebration took a wonderful twist. Our only child, daughter Elizabeth Ann, was born at 11:04 that night. She almost waited too long to arrive on such a special day. Little did I know that this would become her trademark through life, saying “I’m running a little late” for many things. Her arrival enhanced our lives considerably. She was an adorable baby (says every mother of a newborn). She settled into a comfortable routine early in her life and let us know when she needed food or other attention. As she approaches her 50th birthday this year, I have been flooded with random memories. It’s not easy to condense 50 years into 500 words. As I reminisce I realize that her big birthday is affecting me more than my recent 80th. It’s one thing to recognize your own aging but realizing your child is approaching middle age is a bit of a shock. Where did the time go? The toddler who was fascinated by Sesame Street followed by Reading Rainbow learned a lot from Big Bird and friends. One day we were having a conversation and as I watched her put a thought together and express a conclusion I realized I was going to have to be on my toes. Thus began the ‘Terrible Twos,’ and suddenly we were celebrating her 16th birthday and then getting ready for high school graduation and on to college and then the real world.

stairs at a friend’s home; on her forehead from a fall when her buddy tried to pick her up at nursery school; a broken leg from riding on the back of an older child’ bicycle; a surprising shakeup after a fall while learning to ride a horse. We were on a first name basis with some ER nurses.

She followed her father around like a puppy ‘helping’ him mow our huge lawn, raking leaves, building steps down to the river bank. She would dispose of treasures our cat brought to me. She fondly remembers hours playing outside with her BFF as they explored the woods, the river, anything they could. They spent happy hours playing in the snow, throwing snowballs, sliding down the hill, trudging up and sliding again and again and again. She is a great story teller and can turn a simple traffic stop into an amusing tale. She has had many adventures and embraces each new opportunity with great gusto. With a heart full of love and pride we wish her many blessings in the coming years and thank her for being such an important part of our life. Ann Robson is the author of “Over My Shoulder: Tales of Life and Death and Everything In Between.” She may be reached at overmyshoulder@charter.net .

Throughout the years I’ve often said “where is it written,” a

MARCH 2020

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