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L HAL E H IN T S D I K NG • I K I K A LION KING DISCOUNT • INTERVIEW : K
2 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Chris Hayes EDITOR-IN-CHIEF / ART DIRECTOR Chris Hayes firstname.lastname@example.org
If you have yet to witness the madness that is NINA 08 don’t worry. Thanks to the blizzard of 08, you have one more chance. Originally opening night now closing night, the final showing will be at Axis March 29th @ 8p.
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SNAPSHOT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........2 ABOUT TOWN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...3, 30 LETTERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........4 COMMUNITY CORNER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........6 GENERAL GAYETY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........8 TRANSNATION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .........9 OUT BUSINESS NEWS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......11 INSIGHT OUT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......13 NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......15 FEATURE: AVENUE Q . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . .18-22 DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......24 ARTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......24 INTERVIEW : KAKI KING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......26 THEATRE : KIDS IN THE HALL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......27 CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......27 SEX TALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......28 SAVAGE LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......29 THE LAST WORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......31 SCOPES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......31
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MAR 27 - APR 02 VOLUME 12 NUMBER 39
MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 3
ABOUT TOWN by Chris Hayes
THURSDAY, MARCH 27 HOW MANY SHRINERS DOES IT TAKE? 58th Annual Aladdin Temple Shrine Circus @ Ohio Expo Center, 717 East 17th Avenue, 614.475.2609 x25, www.ohioexpocenter.com: The Aladdin Temple Shrine Circus returns to the Ohio Expo Center with tons of family fun this year. 7p, $3.
the halfway mark for the Ohio Lesbian Festival being held Sept 13. Come out and jam with Nedra Johnson, Cindy Wolfe & Jenn Litt, Donna Mogavero, Colelea: Radical Word Dyke, Early Girl, Drag Kings & special guests Johnny Kingpin, and Lisa Howard as Justin Timberlake. Plus a raffle and Emcee Chris Cozad. All proceeds benefit the Festival. 10p; $8.
BEAT ME STOMP @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: Explosive, provocative, sophisticated, sexy, utterly unique and appeals to audiences of all ages. The international percussion sensation has garnered an armful of awards and rave reviews, and has appeared on numerous national television shows. Through Sunday. 8p; $17.80-$54.50.
ONLY THE PUREST OF ENERGIES Energy Workshop @ Stonewall Community Center, 1160 N High St, 614.299.7764, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Using the mind body connection, Kathleen Lewis will teach the class to obtain deep relaxation levels. She calls her meditation process a “mind vacation.” She will also teach the class to relieve stress using pressure points on the body and foot reflexology. A brief description of energy work using Reiki will also be included in this one time, one-hour class. 11a; call to reserve space
FRIDAY, MARCH 28 DON’T SING WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL Cabaret Weekend @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.224.4050, clubdiversity.com: To benefit Project Open Hand. This will be an entire weekend of theatre, burlesque, and cabaret-style music to benefit Project Open Hand. 10% of the club revenue from 3/28 through 3/31 will go to POH. Also, 50/50’s & prizes throughout the weekend! Free. ROCK OUT WITH YOUR PAINT BRUSH OUT Art Jam @ mahan gallery, 717 N High St, 614.294.3278, mahangallery.com: mahan gallery is proud to announce another exciting art jam, the innovative special event that puts paint brushes in the hands of our guests and lets them experience the world of an artist for the night, surrounded by rich colors, vibrant music, good friends, and fine wine. 6p-12a; $75 includes one canvas and art supplies (up to two painters per canvas), refreshments with soft drinks, and an open wine bar. REVENGE IS DISH BEST SERVED Cincinnati Men’s Chorus’s Revenge Of The Divas @ Xavier University Gallagher Student Center Theater, 513.542.2626, www.xavier.edu: Finally, the concert they were meant to sing. Join the boys as they open wide to sing tribute to the best belters of Broadway! Tonight & tomorrow. 8:07p; $20-$25. SATURDAY, MARCH 29 POLITICALLY SPEAKING NINA ’08 @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, columbusnightlife.com: Is the country ready for a drag queen president? I think so. Well head to Ms West’s show and find out. Hopefully the platform can support her! Tonight, tomorrow and Mar 29 (the rescheduled snow date). See ad this page for more info. 7p; $8-$50. TURKEYS FOR EVERYONE Bowl for Equality 2008 @ AMF Main Lanes, 4071 E Main St, www.hrc.org/columbusbowling: Join us for Columbus’ second annual HRC bowling event - Bowl for Equality! Meet new people, eat great food, win prizes and have a great time for a good cause! All tickets include: 3 hours unlimited bowling, shoes, snacks (full menu available, cash bar) and a 2008 HRC Membership! All attendees must purchase a ticket, even if they don’t plan to bowl.1p-4p; $35 adult, $20 youth, $20, Package of bowling for 4 $135. LESFEST Half Way to Festival Party @ The East Village, 630 N High St, 614.228.3546, columbusnightlife.com: It’s
SUNDAY, MARCH 30 GAY FOR PAY Out@Wex @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, wexarts.org: The three films that were postponed due to the blizzard will be shown on today. Bill Jones-related programming will likely take place in August. Wex will honor tickets that were purchased for Saturday, March 8. 1p: Before I Forget; 3p: Lagerfeld; Confidential; 5p: Itty Bitty Titty Committee; $8-$10. BATTER UP CLGSA Softball Registration Party @ Union Bar+Food, 782 N High St, 614.421.CAFE (2233), columbusnightlife.com: Want to play ball? Well head to this party and sign up. Individuals who are interested in playing, but do not have a team are encouraged to register. The league will help match you with a team. This registration party is also fundraisers for the league that includes drink specials and a 50/50 raffle. Join your teammates and other players for spring training and a few cocktails. 1p-4p; free. IKEA Creations CURRENTS: Jason Salavon @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E. Broad St, 614.221.6801, columbusmuseum.org: Salavon’s multi-media installation will examine the marketing of the ideal modern lifestyle, as seen in glossy catalogues of upscale home furnishings. Central to the exhibition is a multi-screen projection of a domestic living space titled “Catalogue to the Moon and Stars.” In this work, couches, carpets, and myriad home furnishings change shape, color, material, and style at a barely perceptible pace over the course of a day. Through May 4. YEAH, BUT CAN SHE BREAK A GLASS? Irma M. Cooper Opera Columbus International Vocal Competition @ Weigel Hall, The Ohio State University, 614.461.8101 x22, operacolumbus.org: The Irma M. Cooper Opera Columbus International Vocal Competition attracts artists and international attention. Former winners include internationally renowned superstar Denyce Graves. Catch tomorrow’s stars today. 3p; $10. LAST COMIC STANDING SNL (Sunday Night Live!) @ Wall Street, 144 N High St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Sketch Comedy, Live Music & a Little Bit of Drag. Check out this ensemble cast that blows everyone away!! General Admission available the night of the show and you can reserve tables by calling. Doors 8p/Show 9p; cover. MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
The Reader Poll
4 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
LETTERS Help Make Senate Bill 305 (EHEA) Become Law To the Editor: On March 11 I introduced Senate Bill 305, the “Equal Housing and Employment Non-Discrimination Act” (EHEA), which would make Ohio the 21st state in the nation to ban employment and housing discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity and expression. As a longtime advocate of civil liberties and equality for all Americans, I believe that the time to pass this legislation is long overdue. A clear majority of Ohioans also agree that we must guarantee fairness in the workplace and in the provision of housing services. In fact, two-thirds of all Buckeyes believe that our state should enact a law banning employment and housing discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Ohio law already specifically prohibits discrimination based on race, color, religion, gender, national origin, age, ancestry and disability, but does not apply any similar protection whatsoever to citizens on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. This lack of equal protection makes it legal to fire individuals or deny them access to housing accommodations solely on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity and expression. Although 15 Ohio municipalities ban such discrimination, this only applies to less than 20 percent of all Ohioans. The failure of our laws to provide the same standard of protection to all citizens enables discrimination to continue through a double standard of inequality. A consistent body of social science research shows that a pervasive pattern of workplace discrimination impacts the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) community, generating harassment and abuse as well as disparities in equal pay, job retention and promotion. For example, a June 2007 report conducted by The Williams Institute found that as many as 68
MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
percent of gay, lesbian and bisexual people report employment discrimination manifested through job termination, denial of promotion, verbal and physical abuse as well as unequal pay and benefits. Similarly, the Institute reports that up to 57 percent of transgender people experience employment discrimination. Furthermore, sample surveys of the transgender population reveal that up to 60 percent are unemployed and as many as 64 percent earns less than $25,000 a year. An increasing number of studies from the United States Census, the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, the National Health and Social Life Survey and the General Social Survey reveal that homosexual men earn 10 percent to 32 percent less than similarly qualified heterosexual men. Inequality in the law will indeed continue to fuel injustice in the workplace unless we act now. Foes of equal protection claim that anti-discrimination prohibitions would spark a wave of frivolous lawsuits and thus encumber businesses as well as the state. However, the experiences of states with anti-discrimination laws that include sexual orientation and gender identity point to no such significant upturn in lawsuits, according to research completed in 2002 by the General Accounting Office (GAO). What’s right for equality is also what’s right for Ohio’s economic future. In addition to ensuring equal protection under the law, passage of S.B. 305 would provide a significant economic boon by strengthening the ability of our state to attract and retain jobs for all workers. Ohio will not live up to its potential as a state until the individuals who comprise its diversity are free to live up to their potential as full participants in society. As long as our state lags behind much of the nation in extending equal protection to GLBT citizens, Ohio will suffer a competitive disadvantage and will continue to be unprepared to thrive in a changing 21st-century economy. According to the Human
Last week we asked:
Rights Campaign, 90 percent of Fortune 500 Companies now provide workplace protections on the basis of sexual orientation and more than a quarter prohibit discrimination based on gender identity. With the introduction of SB 305, our state has the opportunity to join much of the business community as well as 20 other states and the District of Columbia in recognizing and protecting the rights of GLBT workers. Senate Bill 305 is companion legislation to House Bill 502, which was also introduced March 11. These bills enjoy widespread bipartisan support from members in both chambers, including Senate Minority Leader Ray Miller and House Minority Leader Joyce Beatty. Governor Ted Strickland is expected to sign the bill if passed. In order for this proposal to become law, we must educate our elected officials about the importance of fairness and equality so that all Ohioans can live the American dream free from the chains of fear and prejudice. I urge my colleagues on both sides of the aisle to fulfill the promise of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” by ensuring that our laws respect the most fundamental human rights of those we were elected to serve. Please share any feedback you may have by contacting my office at 614.466.5123 or email@example.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
Do you attend church ? NEVER 47%
Yes, occasionally or just on the holidays. 31% Yes, every week 22% NEXT WEEKS QUESTIONS:
Regards, Senator Dale Miller (D-Cleveland) District 23
Do you rent or own? What kind of property do you live in? Log on to: www.outlookweekly.net to take this week’s poll.
NOV 2 ’04
MAR 28 ’08
IRAQI CIVILIAN DEAD
DAYS ‘TIL 2008 ELECTION
73,525 $1,953,502,544,448 (1,238)
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 5
MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
6 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
COMMUNITY CORNER OUTLOOK WRITER GREGG SHAPIRO BOOK READING/SIGNING APRIL 11 Pop-culture journalist Gregg Shapiro’s interviews and reviews run in a variety of regional LGBT publications and websites, such as Chicago Free Press, Gay & Lesbian Times, Bay Area Reporter, Baltimore Outloud, David Atlanta, OutFront Colorado, OutSmart Magazine, afterelton.com, and others. His poetry and fiction appears in numerous outlets including literary journals such as Beltway, modern
TICKETS ARE NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE FOR CATF’S BIENNIAL FUNDRAISER, ART FOR LIFE Art for Life, the premier art event in central Ohio and a critical source of funding to support the mission of the Columbus AIDS Task Force, is scheduled for Saturday, May 10, 2008 at Columbus City Center, 111 S Third St. Prepare to be amazed at the transformation of some of the retail spaces and the atrium, as we offer an opportunity for you purchase artwork by some of Ohio’s best artists, meet and mingle with your friends, and support CATF. Visit the Art for Life 2008 website today for all the details and to buy tickets to the silent auction and party: http://www.afl2008.org.
AN EXHIBIT OF PRIDE: CALL FOR LGBT ARTIST ENTRIES Stonewall Columbus is inviting LGBTQ artists to submit work for An Exhibit of Pride juried exhibition in celebration of Pride 2008. This is a juried exhibition for artists who identify as LGBTQ or whose work is queer in content. Artists may submit up to three works for consideration. Michelle Lach, Media Studies Assistant Professor, Columbus College of Art and Design, and Sean Cooper, Executive Director, Ohio Art League and Nicholas Hill, Professor of Art and Director of the Frank Museum of Art, Otterbein College will jury submissions of professional, exhibition quality in all visual arts media. Stonewall Columbus encourages artists to make their work available for sale. A sales commission of 20% will be retained for sold work; price your work accordingly. Accepted work must be suitably framed and wired or otherwise prepared for installation. All entries must be original works. Stonewall Columbus reserves the right to refuse to display any work for any reason and will bar all works altered from the submitted digital images. Stonewall Columbus and its agents will exercise all reasonable care, but Stonewall Columbus and its agents are not liable for loss or damage of work in its care. Participating artists grant permission to Stonewall Columbus to use images of their work for promotional purposes. Submission of an entry shall constitute agreement on the part of the artist to all conditions set forth in this call for entries. Submission Guidelines: Deadline for Entries: Friday, May 9, 2008. No late submissions will be considered. Submit work digitally by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org. Accepted formats include JPG and TIFF (video art in DVD format). Include your name, address, email, and telephone number, along with title, dimensions, medium and MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
words, Bloom, White Crane Journal, Blithe House Quarterly, Mipoesias, The Queer Collection 2007, and the anthologies “Sex & Chocolate: Tasty Morsels for Mind and Body” (Paycock Press), “Poetic Voices Without Borders 2” (Gival), and the revised second edition of “Blood to Remember” (Time Being). His collection of poems, “Protection”, was published in January 2008 by Gival Press. “Protection” has gained the recognition and praise of various authors who have described the collection to a tea, for example: “In bed with a lover in Boston, putting a cat to sleep in Chicago, hanging laundry by moonlight in Washington, D.C. - I like the way Gregg Shapiro’s
sale price for each work. File names for images should match the following: smith01.jpg, where “smith” is replaced with your last name and “01” is replaced with the appropriate entry number (01-03). Please save images at the highest possible quality settings to ensure clear viewing of your work; limit images size to 1920x1920 pixels. An Exhibit of Pride juried visual arts exhibition will run Thursday, June 5 through 28 at Center on High (1160 N High St). For more information, contact: Jan Richards, Pride Coordinator, email@example.com or 614.930.2265.
REGISTRATION FOR THE 2008 TENNIS SEASON CLOSES IN 9 DAYS It’s time to sign up for CMTO’s 2008 Summer League; registration for the 2008 season ends on Sunday, March 31. The new on-line registration system found on the CMTO web site (http://www.cmto1.org) is up and running with more choices than ever. Round-Robin (traditional) Singles: Dates: May 1 thru August 16 Cost: $35 per person Challenge Ladder Singles: Dates: May 1 thru August 16 Cost: $35 per person OR $10 per person if registered for Round-Robin Singles also. Round-Robin Doubles: Dates: June 9 through August 20 Cost: $25 per person ($50 per team)
FINAL CLGSA SOFTBALL REGISTRATION PARTY AND SKILLS CLINIC The Columbus Lesbian and Gay Softball Association (CLGSA) hosts its final registration party Sunday, March 30 at Union from 1p-4p. For the first time since 1988, Columbus will be sending teams to the World Series in Seattle, August 25-31. The league requests that all players, including returning players register in person (if possible) for the 2008 season. Registering in person will allow us to address your questions regarding the new player rating system and refresh our database with your current information. Individuals who do not have a team, but are interested in playing are encouraged to register. The league will help match you with a team. The league will be hosting a skills clinic for all
stanzas - packed with keen observations and physical details - place me solidly in his world. His inyour-face intimacy feels as necessary as it does generous and brave. “Protection” is a blessedly open and refreshingly out book of poems.” - David Trinidad, author of Plasticville A 1999 inductee into Chicago’s Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame and a recipient of the 2003 Outmusic Award for Outstanding Support, he lives in Chicago with his life-partner Rick and their dogs, Dusty and k.d. There will be a reading/signing from Gregg Shapiro’s new book at the Center On High April 11th at 7p.
players on Saturday, March 29 at Berliner Park (weather permitting). The clinic is a great opportunity for managers and players to learn about the new player rating system. The Managers meeting on Sunday, April 13 is the last day for all teams and players to register. For additional information, please contact the league at firstname.lastname@example.org.
BRAVO PRESENTS SELF-DEFENSE WORKSHOPS As much progress as the community has made in the realm of social acceptance, some people still wish us harm. That’s why BRAVO is presenting selfdefense workshops for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people this April and May. Resistance to a physical attack provides a significantly greater chance of surviving. Participants will learn mental, verbal, and physical skills to help protect themselves. The class is free and open to all LGBT people and meets for 5 consecutive Tuesdays at Pomerence Hall 306 (1760 Neil Ave). Class dates are April 8, 15, 22, 29 and May 6 from 6p-8p. To register call BRAVO at 614.294.7867.
CAT WELFARE MILLION DOLLAR SHELTER MAKEOVER A million dollar shelter makeover for Cat Welfare? It’s paws-ibble with your help! Cat Welfare has entered into a national contest for a million dollar shelter makeover! We are competing with over 1000 shelters across the country and we are the only shelter in Franklin County that is a serious contender for the big prize. Go to www.zootoo.com/makeover to sign up and support Cat Welfare. It’s fast, fun, easy and free! Make sure you validate your registration through the email that zootoo sends you and you are on your way to helping us win! Every person that registers earns Cat Welfare 100 points. You can then earn additional points by writing reviews, commenting on news stories, uploading photos and videos and filling out the volunteer section. The top 20 shelters with the most points when the contest ends at midnight on March 31st will be in the running for the million dollar prize. One shelter will win $10,000, 18 shelters will win $5,000 and one lucky shelter will win a $1,000,000 shelter makeover. Zootoo is a web site for all pet lovers - cats, dogs, birds, rabbits, horses and more. As you earn points for Cat Welfare you earn points to request free samples of great pet related products. We are currently ranked #15 with 525 people supporting us!! Please join and help a local shelter win
a national prize. If anyone would like a personal invite to zootoo (this earns us an extra 100 points!) please email Kindra at email@example.com
LINKOUT UPDATE, NOMINATE BOARD POSITIONS The gay young professionals group had another organizational meeting March 19. Progress to report is as follows: Brock L. has submitted the registration of the organization to the State of Ohio; www.linkOUTcolumbus.com was secured as website domain; Karim Ali is assisting with IRS Non-Profit Status, Articles of Incorporation & By-laws were reviewed and ratified; and nominations for Executive Board positions were taken. The nominees are: President: Joel Díaz Vice-President: Siobhan Boyd Dawon Hawkins Stacyanne Headley Justin Kerr Brock Leonti Tjay Spencer Aaron Thomas Treasurer: Stacyanne Headley Paul Kinnaird Secretary: Siobhan Boyd Lukas Irons Tjay Spencer Aaron Thomas Due to a mishap with the meeting announcement last week the group take nominations for anyone else interested in running for office at the next meeting on April 2 before the elections occur. They will need 3 individuals who are not running for office to work the election. Please let Joel know if you are available and willing to help with this. If you have been nominated and/or are planning to run for office, please note you will have up to 5 minutes to give a presentation to the group regarding your interest in the position and what you would bring to the position. Please reference the By-laws for additional information. For more info contact Joel Diaz at JDiaz@wexarts.org.
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 7
MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
8 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
GENERAL GAYETY by Leslie Robinson
PARTNERS IN POPPYCOCK The Atlantic Ocean separates them, but to me they’ll always be the twaddle twins. That’s because these two prominent figures delivered relentlessly anti-gay speeches that hit the news the same week in March. They share a bond of blather. No doubt Oklahoma state Rep. Sally Kern, a Republican from Oklahoma City, felt she was in friendly territory when she spoke to some 50 people at an Oklahoma county Republican club. She offered her listeners a tasty homophobic rant. Kern said that “the homosexual agenda is destroying this nation” and homosexuality is “the biggest threat even, that our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.” That’s a mighty ambitious goal she’s setting us. I don’t think I have the stamina to destroy the nation or outdo terrorists. Not without a serious fitness program, anyway. The legislator bemoaned the growing number of gay politicians. Kern, a former teacher who sits on the education committee, also fretted over gays influencing school policy. “You know why they’re trying to get early childhood education?” she asked. “They want to get our young children into the government schools so they can indoctrinate them… They’re going after our young children, as young as two years of age, to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle.” Sound the alarm! Man the barricades! Praise the
MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
lord and pass the rhetoric! This gentlewoman and scholar declared as well, “Matter of fact, studies show, that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than a few decades.” You might have the idea at this point that Kern isn’t fond of gay people. Perish the thought for she also said in her speech, “I’m not gay-bashing.” Of course, she did follow that statement with, “But according to God’s word that is not the right kind of lifestyle.” And if she doesn’t consider her statements gaybashing, what can she possibly consider them? Sweet nothings? Someone in attendance at the event - not gay, but a friend of the community - recorded Kern’s speech, and the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund posted the diatribe on YouTube, which is how Kern has become nationally infamous. Her speech has been viewed more often than a Madonna video. She’s infuriated gobs of people, but hasn’t apologized. She told the Tulsa World her comments were edited, taken out of context, and concerned wealthy gays supporting gay candidates. “I was talking about an agenda. I was not talking about individuals,” Kern said. “I have never said hate speech against anybody. I would never do that.” Nope, never never never ever ever ever. Over in Scotland, a Catholic bishop also recently expressed gigantic fears about gay political maneuverings.
“The homosexual lobby has been extremely effective in aligning itself with minority groups,” said the Right Rev. Joseph Devine during a speech in Glasgow. “It is ever-present at the service each year for the Holocaust memorial, as if to create for themselves the image of a group of people under persecution.” AS IF? What kind of incense has been wafting around this man during mass? Gays were Holocaust victims; we continue to be blatantly persecuted the world over. The bishop said to his audience at St. Aloysius’ College, “I take it you’re beginning to see that there
is a huge and well-orchestrated conspiracy taking place, which the Catholic community missed.” That the queen honored Sir Ian McKellen sticks in his cassock. “In this New Year’s honors list, I saw actor Ian McKellen being honored for his work on behalf of homosexuals, when a century ago Oscar Wilde was locked up and put in jail.” The good old days, eh Bishop Devine? He ended his lecture by promising “to pick a fight.” Mission accomplished. Leslie Robinson lives in Seattle. E-mail her at LesRobinsn@aol.com, and read more columns at www.GeneralGayety.com.
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 9
TRANSNATION by Jacob Anderson-Minshall
Deaf Leatherboy Hopes to Resuscitate True Spirit “I think most people are aware we exist,” Alex Leffers says about deaf members of the queer community. Still, he contends, “There’s a lot of unnecessary fear. We use our hands to communicate, true, but we do welcome conversation with people that aren’t familiar with sign language. Stop apologizing for your lack of knowledge and just talk to us.” Residing in Gaithersburg, Maryland with his deaf partner, Valerie, Alex Leffers is a self-described deaf, bisexual, kinky leatherboy FTM. He’s won a number of leather titles, and declares, “Leather and kink is my lifestyle. I live it everyday. I’m a leather boy, a submissive who enjoys the attention of a dominant. Being a leather boy is…an identity.” A former sorority girl, Leffers has written several essays about his life: first as a deaf lesbian in the 1993 anthology Eyes of Desire: A Deaf Gay & Lesbian Reader, and then, as a trans guy, in 2008’s follow-up, Eyes of Desire 2. Discovering no support groups for deaf trans people, Leffers founded the Yahoo group, TransDeaf, “to connect and feel that we’re not alone in our journeys.” He served for a number of years as an officer with the Washington, D.C. chapter of Rainbow Al-
liance of the Deaf (RAD), a nonprofit organization that promotes the rights of LGBT deaf and hard of hearing. In 2006-2007, he represented International Deaf Leather as a member at large on the RAD Board. Leffers also remains on the board of American Boyz, the trans masculine organization behind the True Spirit Conferences of early 2000s. “We started out with a fire lit in our pants, but we’ve slacked off, due to, well, life. [We] put True Spirit on hold until we’re able to resolve internal business issues.” That timing coincided with Leffers winning leather titles - Atlantic Deaf Leatherboy 2004 and International Deaf Leatherboy in 2005 - that dominated his attention. Although his own experience has been positive, Leffers recognizes that some trans guys complain about discrimination within the gay leather and S/M communities, including International Leather SIR/boy contests, which had a bio-male only rule. The organization recently lifted the ban and trans men can now compete. Other leather groups, sex clubs and play parties - like Chicago Hellfire Club’s Inferno - still exclude trans men. “If you, as an individual are not attracted to us,” Leffer asserts, “That’s fine - move on! There’s
a 95 percent majority of biological men with the anatomy you’re looking for. Why worry about the few trans men?” The anti-trans sentiment that imbues some of these venues, Leffers admits, makes for play spaces that don’t feel safe for trans men. “Many people play in the nude. Even for the trans man who’s open, nudity can be uncomfortable. [They] risk getting thrown out because of who they are. Finding public play spaces that are trans-positive is difficult.”
“Our anatomy is different,” Leffers acknowledges, “‘Do you have a penis?’ is the most common question I’m asked. Most of us cannot afford lower surgery and…surgical options for lower surgery are inadequate. Our manhood is constantly put to the test and we are challenged frequently. Leathermen are quite masculine and [often] have trouble seeing trans men as being masculine. Little do they realize, there are many of us mingling among them and they have no idea that we’re trans!” Leffers is proud of his accomplishments, but not one to rest on his laurels. His next challenge is resuscitating American Boyz. “I’m now ready to get back into it and try to bring back Amboyz and True Spirit!” Clarification: In my profile of Cooper Lee Bombardier I wrote: “He believes that people find trans artists both fascinating and repulsive because they defy societal mores about gender.” Bombardier does not share those sentiments. The original quote from Bombardier was: “I think on a very basic level anything that deals with crossing the boundaries or societal mores about gender is very fascinating and attractive to people, even when it sometimes also elicits feelings of fear or repulsion from some people.” I apologize for any misunderstandings. Jacob Anderson-Minshall co-authors the Blind Eye mystery series, including Blind Curves and Blind Leap. Learn more at Anderson-minshall.com or contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org. © 2008 Jacob AndersonMinshall
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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 11
OUT BUSINESS NEWS INSURANCE DEPARTMENT OFFERS SEVERE SPRING WEATHER INSURANCE TIPS In conjunction with Ohio Spring Severe Weather Awareness week (March 23-29), Ohio Department of Insurance Director Mary Jo Hudson has provided important insurance tips and is reminding Ohioans to include a review of their insurance policies as part of their storm season preparation. Ohioans are also encouraged to visit the Department’s new Severe Weather On-line Toolkit at www.ohioinsurance.gov. “Spring weather in Ohio is unpredictable with flooding, hail, lightning, and tornadoes all having the potential to cause major property damage and possible financial loss,” Director Hudson said. “Ohioans should take the time now to work with their insurance agent to ensure they have adequate coverage to protect against the state’s volatile weather.” Advance Insurance Planning Tips: Examine your homeowners/rental coverage as well as auto policies to determine if you need to revise your policy to reflect any improvements or changes that will affect your coverage needs. · Be sure you have adequate coverage and deductibles that are reasonable for your needs. · Rain, hail, lightning and tornado damage are generally covered in a standard homeowners and comprehensive portion of an auto policy. · Since flood insurance is not included in routine homeowner and renter’s insurance policies, now is the time to check on the necessity and availability of flood insurance in your area. Call the National Flood Insurance Program (NFIP) at 1.800.638.6620 to learn more. Ask your insurance agent about whether a policy rider for flooding from sewer backups or sump pump issues is appropriate to add to your policy. · Compile a detailed written inventory of your home and belongings and supplement that inventory with a videotape or photographs. Keep the inventory off-premises in a safety deposit box, or other secure location. If You Have Suffered Damage to Your Property Due to a Storm: · Call your insurance company as soon as you can. Protect your property and safely salvage what you can. · Closely inspect property and cars for damage. Note and photograph any damage and losses. · Be sure your agent knows how to contact you if you can’t stay in your home. · If required to seek temporary housing, check your policy for “loss of use“ coverage. Many policies cover such expenses up to a stated amount. · Be sure everything is considered in your claim. Back-up claims with written estimates. The Department’s new Severe Weather On-line Toolkit, available at www.ohioinsurance.gov, provides guidance on what steps to take when filing an insurance claim in the event that property is damaged in a storm. The toolkit also has important information on obtaining flood insurance as well as web links to the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) and the National Flood Insurance Plan (NFIP). Ohio insurance consumers with questions and concerns about their insurance can call the Department’s consumer hotline at 1.800.686.1526. Free information can also be obtained at www.ohioinsurance.gov.
IRS ANNOUNCES ECONOMIC STIMULUS PAYMENT SCHEDULES, NEW ONLINE CALCULATOR PROJECTS PAYMENT AMOUNT The Internal Revenue Service will begin sending more than 130 million economic stimulus payments starting May 2 with the initial round of weekly payments completed by early July. Additionally, a new online calculator is available at IRS.gov to help people determine the amount of their stimulus payments. Stimulus payments will be sent out based the last two digits of the Social Security number used on the tax return. On a jointly filed return, the first Social Security number listed will determine the mail-out time. Payments will be made by direct deposit to people who choose to receive their 2007 income tax refunds through direct deposit. All others will receive their economic stimulus payments in the form of a paper check. The IRS expects to make about 34 million payments within the first three weeks after the payment schedule begins May 2. With more than 130 million households expected to receive stimulus payments, more than 25 percent of the payments will be made in the first three weeks. Taxpayers who choose direct deposit on their federal income tax returns can expect to receive their economic stimulus payments between May 2 and May 16 provided their returns were received and processed by April 15, 2008. For taxpayers who did not choose direct deposit on their tax return,but whose returns were processed by April 15, the paper checks will be in the mail starting May 16, with the initial mailings completed by around July 11. A small percentage of tax returns will require additional time to process and to compute a stimulus payment amount. For these returns, stimulus payments may not be issued in accordance with the schedule above, even if the tax return was processed by April 15. To accommodate people whose tax returns are processed after April 15, the IRS will continue sending weekly payments. People who file tax returns after April 15 and receive a refund can expect to receive their economic stimulus payments in about two weeks after receiving their tax refunds, but not before the date they would have received their payment if the return had been processed by April 15. To ensure taxpayers receive their stimulus payment this year, they must file a tax return by Oct. 15. The IRS is also announcing today the availability of an online calculator on IRS.gov to help taxpayers determine if they are eligible to receive an economic stimulus payment and if so, how much they can expect. Anyone who has prepared a 2007 income tax return can use the calculator. It will ask taxpayers a series of questions, so they should have their 2007 tax returns handy. After answering the questions, the calculator will provide the projected dollar value of the payment. Stimulus Payment Schedule For Tax Returns Received And Processed By April 15 Direct Deposit Payments If the last two digits Your check should be of your Social Secuin the mail by: rity number are: 00 – 20 May 2 21 – 75 May 9 76 – 99 May 16
Paper Check If the last two digits of your Social Security number are: 00 – 09 10 – 18 19 – 25 26 – 38 39 – 51 52 – 63 64 – 75 76 – 87 88 – 99
Your check should be in the mail by: May 16 May 23 May 30 June 6 June 13 June 20 June 27 July 4 July 11
IRS HELP PEOPLE FILE SATURDAY MAR 29 Several Internal Revenue Service offices in Ohio and West Virginia - along with more than 300 other IRS locations - will be opening their doors for Super Saturday, a nationwide event to help people file a tax return in order to receive their Economic Stimulus Payment. IRS personnel will be on hand to answer questions about the Economic Stimulus payments and file tax returns, which you must do in order to receive a stimulus payment. Community organizations are also participating in Super Saturday by sponsoring tax preparation sites where people can receive tax assistance at no charge as part of the Volunteer Income Tax Assistance and Tax Counseling for the Elderly programs. In Columbus go to 200 North High Street For more information about Super Saturday, including locations of volunteer tax preparation sites, contact Eric Erickson at 404.338.7884 or email@example.com.
OHIO RESIDENTS AND BUSINESSES CAN PAY A GROWING NUMBER OF STATE AND FEDERAL TAX OBLIGATIONS THROUGH OFFICIAL PAYMENTS CORP. Both the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) and the Ohio Department of Taxation will accept credit and debit card payments for an expanding number of business and personal tax types through Official Payments Corp®. Taxpayers filing in Ohio can make fast, easy, and secure payments of both federal and state payments in one brief online session at http://www.officialpayments.com or over the phone at 1.800.2PAY.TAX, using any American Express®, Discover®, MasterCard® or Visa® card. Taxpayer benefits from these electronic payment options include convenience, card rewards, cash management, and, if necessary, the ability to pay at the last minute. Federal Individual Tax Payments Individual taxpayers can make secure federal tax payments for a variety of tax types including: · Form 1040 Balance Due – Tax Year 2007 · Form 1040ES Estimated Payment - Tax Year 2008 · Form 4868 Automatic Extension to File – Tax Year 2007 · Installment Agreement Payment Form 1040 – Tax Years 1998 through 2007 · Prior Tax Year Form 1040 – Tax Years 1998 through 2006 · Form 1040 Advance Payment of a Determined Deficiency (Audit Adjustment or Underreporter No-
tice) – Tax Years 2005 though 2007 · Trust Fund Recovery Penalty – Prior Tax Periods – Tax Years 1998 through 2007 · Trust Fund Recovery Penalty – Installment Agreements – Tax Years 1998 through 2007 Federal Business Tax Payments In addition, businesses can make secure credit card payments for their taxes, including: · Form 940 or 940-PR, Employer’s Annual Federal Unemployment Tax Return – Balance Due – Tax Year 2007 · Form 940 or 940-PR, Employer’s Annual Federal Unemployment Tax Return – Prior Tax Years – Tax Years 1998 through 2006 · Form 940 or 940-PR, Employer’s Annual Federal Unemployment Tax Return – Installment Agreements – Tax Years 1998 through 2007 · Form 941, 941-PR or 941-SS, Employer’s Quarterly Federal Tax Return – Balance Due – Current Quarter · Form 941, 941-PR or 941-SS, Employer’s Quarterly Federal Tax Return – Prior Year Quarters – Tax Years 1998 through 2007 · Form 941, 941-PR or 941-SS, Employer’s Quarterly Federal Tax Return – Installment Agreements – Tax Years 1998 through 2007 · Form 944 (all types) Employer’s Annual Federal Tax Return – Balance Due – Tax Year 2007 OHIO · Ohio Business Taxes - Employer Withholding Tax Form IT-501 · Ohio Business Taxes - Employer Withholding Tax Form IT-941 · Ohio Business Taxes - Sales and Use Tax · Ohio Business Taxes - School District Employer Withholding Tax Form SD-101 · Ohio Business Taxes - School District Employer Withholding Tax Form SD-141 · Ohio Business Taxes - School Tax Assessment · Ohio Department of Taxation - Income Tax Estimated Payment · Ohio Department of Taxation - Income Tax Return or Extension Payment · Ohio Department of Taxation - Individual Income Tax Assessment Payment · Ohio Department of Taxation - Individual Income Tax Billing Notice · Ohio Department of Taxation - School District Income Tax Estimated Payment · Ohio Department of Taxation - School District Income Tax Return or Extension Payment · Ohio Department of Taxation - School District Tax Assessment Payment · Ohio Department of Taxation - School District Tax Billing Notice Official Payments charges a convenience fee for some services. Citizens and businesses using credit or debit cards with bonus rewards programs may, depending on their card’s program, earn reward points, frequent flyer miles or cash back for paying their taxes and fees. The IRS has determined that convenience fees incurred by business taxpayers can be deducted as a business expense.
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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 13
INSIGHTOUT by Regina Sewell
Love, Lust and the Pursuit of Sex Maybe it’s your nipple Maybe it’s your nose Maybe it’s the little spot Just beneath your toes Maybe it’s your earlobe Maybe it’s your clit Maybe it’s your g-spot That gets your fire lit Maybe it’s my fingers Maybe it’s my lips Maybe it’s my tongue As I lick toward your hips Maybe it’s my embrace Maybe it’s my kiss Maybe it’s my desire That drives you to your bliss Baby if you tell me Then for sure I’ll know What I need to do To make your fire glow. Regina Sewell Maybe © 2001 Sex. It’s used to sell everything from cell phones, to cars, to Vodka. It’s a staple of magazines, music videos, TV shows and movies. We talk about it. We dream about it. Some of us even put ourselves at risk in pursuit of it. Nonetheless, when it comes to the actual act of sex, many of us struggle with the idea of discussing our sexual boundaries and de-
sires with our partners. Rather than actually asking our partners what feels good, we pretend that we know what our sexual partner wants or assume that they’ll tell us what to do and when to stop. Rather than telling our partners what drives us to our bliss, many of us resign ourselves to accept whatever our partners do and hope that they do something that works. At worst, we completely disregard their desires. There are probably more reasons for this than I can count, but I think there are several key reasons we don’t talk about sex. First, even though we are, as a culture, obsessed with sex, we also learn from an early age that everything having to due with physical pleasure – whether it’s having sex or eating Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream - is imbued with shame. This mixed message makes talking about sex awkward at best. Third, the sexual scripts we have been handed definitely do not include sexual communication. Though these sexual scripts are different for women and men, they hit both sexes pretty hard. Women learn from an early age that bad things will happen if we don’t “keep the gate closed.” We get told to keep our panties hidden from view and securely on and our legs crossed tightly so that nothing can sneak in. We are told that the penalty for not keeping the gate closed is high. We risk being raped or experiencing some other form of sexual vi-
olation. And even if we manage to navigate around those waters, the cultural mandate is that “good girls don’t” and those who “do” risk being labeled a “slut” or a “whore.” Add to this, we don’t have a lot of empowering words to describe our sexual parts. This reinforces the shame and discomfort many women feel when we try to talk about sex. It’s hard to feel sexy saying, “I’d really like you to touch my cunt,” or “I’d really like you to lick my pussy” when we are so well aware of the fact that these words are used to denigrate us. More technical words like “vulva,” “clitoris,” and “vagina” can end up feeling a bit sterile, while hip words like “va jay jay” and “honey pot” can feel a little – well – childish. Many of us get around this potential shame by not talking about sex at all or through the use of innuendo. Men learn a different script. They are supposed to “get in the gate.” Men are ranked by their masculinity and the most surefire way to get masculinity points is to “score” sexually. These points are important because they translate into social power. It’s as if men are automatically forced into a ruthless game of “king of the hill” that is, in part, determined by sexual prowess. To ask for explicit directions can feel tantamount to saying, “I don’t really know what I’m doing.” Who wants to admit that? Furthermore, “real men,” according to the culture, are also supposed to want sex, anywhere, any-
how, anytime and to be able to “get it up” at the drop of a pin (hence the popularity of Viagra). In a sexually tinged encounter, this can lead to the assumption, “of course he wants to have sex.” There is an obvious problem associated with basing sexual actions on innuendos and assumptions. According to state law, if we don’t get our partner’s consent for what we’re doing, what we’re doing to our partner could be rape. The only way to be sure we have consent is to ask. But there’s more to talking about sex than merely getting a general “all systems go.” We are not like a “paint by numbers” picture. What feels great to one person may feel irritating or even painful to the next. This not only pertains to whether someone wants to be fisted or tied up or to where someone likes to be touched, kissed and licked but also to intricate details like how much pressure and at what speed feels best. In addition to making for more mutually satisfying sex, talking explicitly with our partners about what does and doesn’t feel good to us allows us to connect with our sexual partners in truer, deeper, more honest ways and leads to deeper emotional intimacy. Regina Sewell is a mental health counselor with a private practice in Worthington, OH. To ask a question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com
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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 15
NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL by Mette Bach
DEAR SOULMATE CONSTRUCT Dear Soulmate Construct, I’m breaking up with you for good this time. I know I’ve said this before but this time I mean it. I don’t believe in you anymore. You don’t exist. You’re a figment of the western tradition’s Judeo-Christian heterosexual morality matrix. You’re the love child of the naturalization of monogamy and reductive fairy tale notions of marriage. You’re the stuff of romantic comedies and Shakespearean sonnets. You’re prince charming. You’re the girl next door. You’re The One. You’re what we’re all taught to hold out for, save our virginity for. Even if we’re a little bit dysfunctional or a wee bit cynical, it’s okay as long as we find someone who loves us for who we really are, right? Everything is great when someone loves us for us but then we start wondering if they are our soul-mates and that’s when the trouble begins. You’re designed to make us feel bad. I’ve been onto you for years. I’m ready to say good-bye for good. I’ve seen your work, you bad construct. Relationships fall apart over petty things because of you. My soul-mate would never cough without covering his mouth, a friend will say, so this guy is obviously not my soul-mate. Or, my soul-mate needs to have better looking hands. I can’t be with someone whose hands look like that. I’ll hear these comments and I’ll think to myself that your handy work is causing a lot of reason-
able and intelligent people to make excuses the second that things get a bit tricky. And, yes, you socially constructed phenomenon, I do blame you. Maybe I sound dramatic or pissed off on a personal level but, let me tell you, this is not a case of sour grapes. This is more than an observation about my own reality. You have failed to pull through for Ken, Tony, Kaylum, Michael and Stuart as well. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “If I’m a fictitious construct, then why are you writing to me?” and you’re right…it is a bit delusional to do this exercise and I suppose that it does point to some unresolved issues or bitter feelings in my own psyche but enough about me, soul-mate construct, let’s get back to you. You’ve tormented us for generations with your absurdity. The very concept that human beings are supposed to pair off and mate for life is ludicrous. While we’re at it, the idea that longevity outweighs intensity is outrageous. You know what I’m talking about. You’re even more ruthless in the queer community. There aren’t that many of us to begin with, so our soul-mate pool is that much smaller. Not to mention that many of us have very particular (and – who’s kidding who – exquisite) taste. You make it impossible for us to find relationships. The second we start something, we find ourselves prey to your scrutiny.
I wish she were just a little more butch, just enough to chop wood. Or, I wish he were just a little more confident and lifting a few weights once in a while wouldn’t kill him. That’s right, you horrible construct, we say these things about each other all the time and its all because of you. Because of you, we want perfection. We want it all – passion, chemistry, understanding, intimacy. We want it all and we want it right away and we want to know with absolute certainty that we are right. You sit on our shoulders and hover over our dates and whisper into our ears like a cartoon devil. You torment us. She doesn’t recycle. Can she really be the one? He won’t stop talking about his step aerobics instructor. How could he possibly be my soul-mate? She drinks. He smokes. She never calls her mother. He calls his mother every night. And you know what happens next right? We dump them. We buy chocolate. We go home to our apartments, our so-called empty apartments, and feel bad for being judgmental. Then we get over it because we are a resilient bunch. But the thing is, we’d all be so much better off if we would just stop the madness, stop believing that one day we’ll find someone who’s perfect and concentrate our en-
ergies on the great traits of the people who are around us here and now. I have to confess to you, socially constructed soul-mate concept, I was never that into you. I was always skeptical. In my teens and my early twenties, I was adamant on telling people that I did not believe in you. We both know now that was a bit of lie. I searched for you, waited for you, thought I found you (then found out I didn’t). Now I’m more certain than ever that even if by some miracle you are not just a fear tactic used by the status quo to maintain suburban neighborhoods and the entire wedding industry, I’m still better off not believing in you. If I can chase you away, you haggard construct, I can finally free myself. I can stop looking, stop judging, stop bitching and just chill. I can enjoy each and every lover for who they are and not measure them against some unrealistic standard. Every time I feel alone and feel sad and think that nobody gets me, I feel mocked by you. Every time I tell myself that I am entitled to the reward of recognition, I feel like you have me in your grasp. Every time I imagine that one person could provide all that I need, I blame you. Screw you, you ridiculous archaic construct. I’m breaking up with you for good this time. Visit Mette at: www.myspace.com/mettebach.
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OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 17
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M ’ I T U B
T O N Y A G
Avenue Q: Out of the Closet and in Columbus! Avenue Q has puppets (and humans) as stars, but it’s not fur the little ones. The puppets rock out to “The Internet Is For Porn,” “You Can Be as Loud as the Hell You Want (When You’re Makin’ Love),” and “Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist.” The Tony Award-winning musical tells the story of Princeton, an optimistic college grad who comes to New York with big dreams and a tiny bank account. He soon discovers that the only neighborhood that he can afford is Avenue Q, but the neighbors seem nice: Kate Monster, a cute kindergarten teaching assistant looking for a soul mate; laidback and easygoing Nicky and his roommate Rod, a Republican investment banker with a secret; out-of-work Brian, a stand-up comedian, and his fiancée’ Christmas Eve, a therapist with only one client, and Trekkie Monster, an internet addict. Together Princeton and his new found friends struggle to find jobs, dates and the ever-elusive purpose in life. Did I mention Rod has a secret? He sings “If You Were Gay,” with his roommate Nicky and has a fabulous solo with “My Girlfriend, Who Lives in Canada.” Outlook Weekly recently visited Rod and sat down with him for an exclusive Avenue Q & A. OLW: What is the latest with life for you on Avenue Q? Rod: Things are good on Avenue Q. We just had a new tenant move in named Princeton. He seems nice enough. I think he has an eye on Kate Monster. I’m jealous of his extensive sweater collection OLW: Ohio recently played a big role in the MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
presidential primary. What are your thoughts on the upcoming presidential election? Rod: You know, it’s hard to say. Those pics of McCain in his 20s wearing those pilot oufits...wow... OLW: What are your thoughts on Bush? Rod: I think it went out in the 70s. Most girls nowadays do the landing strip, or shave it off completely. OLW: What are your thoughts on the (now former) New York Governor getting busted for prostitution? Rod: Every time this happens the media acts surprised. I’m not surprised. I was only surprised to learn that it was a female prostitute. The way he sports those power suits...I thought...he might be... oh never mind. OLW: Why do you think people assume you are gay? Rod: PEOPLE ASSUME I’M GAY!?!!?!?!?!? OLW: Are you afraid of coming out of the closet? Rod: Nope. I have a glorious walk-in closet just off the foyer. Anytime I change into a new outfit, I come out with pride! OLW: What are your thoughts on gay marriage? Rod: Isn’t all marriage gay? You would hope if two people are marrying each other, they make each other happy! OLW: What do you enjoy watching on TV?
Rod: I love watching TV. LOST is the best show in television history. Where else can you get suspense, mystery, and endless numbers of hot bodies? OLW: What is your opinion of our celebrity obsessed culture? Rod: I wish people would mind their own business. The whole Britney thing got blown way out of proportion. She and Justin would still be together if people were kinder. Good lord. What went wrong in that relationship??? “I’m sorry Britney...this whole screwing the hottest chick alive thing really isn’t working out for me.” or “I’m sorry JT, your abs are just too perfect for me...and your biceps, and your hot dance moves..........and your ass.” OLW: Roommates can be nerve-wracking! What would you say is the most frustrating part about sharing your apartment? Rod: Nicky puts his feet on my favorite chair! And he makes fun of me for ironing my underwear. I prefer creases in my boxer-briefs. OLW: Barbra Streisand or Diana Ross? Rod: Judy Garland could take them both in a fight. OLW: Trekkie Monster is all about Internet porn. Do you indulge? Rod: I never click and tell. OLW: Columbus gets lots of great touring Broadway shows. What are some of your favorite musicals and why? Rod: Oh gosh. My favorite musical is actually
an old movie musical called Summerstock. It starred Judy Garland and Gene Kelly. Gene Kelly did this dance in an old barn... O M G. OLW: Finish these sentences: If I were gay, the celebrity I’d most like to date is… Rod: But I’m not gay. OLW: My idea of the perfect date is… Rod: Dinner, a Broadway show, and a Cosmo at a Piano bar. OLW: My favorite thing about living on Avenue Q is… Rod: Living with Nicky. I love him dearly. OLW: If my roommate Nicky and I were stranded on a desert island together… Rod: I would finally lay off the carbs, and be able to get some jacked pecs. It’s really hard with my metabolism. Rod will be performing in Avenue Q at Palace Theatre (34 W. Broad Street) April 8-13, 2008: Tuesday-Friday at 8p, Saturday at 2p&8p, and Sunday at 1p&6:30p. Tickets range in price from $22.50-$69.50 and may be purchased at the Broadway Across America-Columbus or Ohio Theatre box offices, at all Ticketmaster outlets including Kroger or charged by phone at 614.431.3600 or online at BroadwayAcrossAmerica.com. Groups of 20 or more may reserve tickets by calling Broadway Across America-Columbus at 614.224.7654 x226.
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 19
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Meet the Cast Everyone knows the only way to truly get to know someone (puppet or otherwise) on a deep level is to check out their MYSPACE page. Outlook Weekly hit the Internet (no, not for porn Trekkie Monster) and found the residents of Avenue Q. What we found may surprise you, but probably not. less clothes in pics, but me also have active imagination. I naked all the time (but covered in fur).
Lucy the Slut “CALLING ALL BOYS! (And ladies, too hey, I can swing both ways.)” Female 25 years old NY, NY About me: Hey studs and studettes, I’m Lucy the Slut. I hang out on Avenue Q, and to cut to the chase: I’m available. Enough with the pretending. Let’s get busy. Check out my pics - they’re real. Also, I have a night-vision sex tape I’m about to accidentally leak to the media. Keep your eyes peeled. Who I’d like to meet: You. As long as you’re breathing. Lucy the Slut’s Interest: Heroes: Paris Hilton, Jenna Jameson, and the Whore of Babylon.
Trekkie’s Interests: General: Typing with one paw. Music: Me like music in porn videos. Me find it very arousing. Movies: Me like at least one X in movie rating. Me prefer three. Television: Cinemax After Hours. Books: Juggs, Penthouse, Playboy, Hustler, MILFS (Monsters I’d Like To…), Cheri, High Society, D-Cup, Oui, Heroes: Lucy the Slut. MMMMMMMMMM.
About me: Me Trekkie Monster. Me live on Avenue Q. Me like surfing internet for beautiful women. Me spend 23 hours a day surging Internet for beautiful women. Some call me a pervert, but me just have good taste. Me like women of all dimensions, especially two. Who I’d like to meet: Beautiful women of the Internet. Me make friends with boys but only interested in women. Me prefer
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Princeton “New to New York City—HELP ME!” Male 22 years old New York About me: I’m a 22-year-old college grad with no job, no hope, but a lot of friends (see below). I live on Avenue Q, which is way way outside of Manhattan - it takes about six trains to get there. I have a lot of dreams but not a lot of real-life ways to make them happen. I guess you could say I’m looking for my purpose in life.
Kate Monster “Monster Looking for Love” Female 25 years old About me: I’m a kindergarten teaching assistant who lives on Avenue Q. I’m a Monster, in case it isn’t clear. I’m very intelligent, sensitive, political, but I do like to party sometimes. I’m your all-around good-time girl (but not like Lucy the Slut, who’s a total bitch. Excuse my language. Who I’d like to meet: Romantically: somebody smart, educated, political. For friends: YOU!
Trekkie “The Internet is for Porn!” Male 25 years old NY, NY
About me: I’m Nicky, and I live on Avenue Q. I’m a pretty simple guy. I’d say I was “between jobs” but I guess that implies I want one! I’m happy living with my good buddy Rod, who’s rich! (Just kidding Rod!) And gay! (I’m KIDDING, Rod!) Who I’d like to meet: I like pretty much everybody, I guess. So YOU!
Kate Monster’s Interests: General: Monster rights, romantic movies, romantic walks, romantic dinners, romance in general. Music: Debbie Harry, Kate Bush, Ani DiFranco, Enya. Movies: Sleepless in Seattle, Autumn in New York (I love Winona Ryder). Books: Favorite writers include Sylvia Plath, Anne Sexton, Gertrude Stein, Danielle Steele. Heroes: Germaine Greer
Who I’d like to meet: Anyone my age who’s interesting. Maybe a special somebody who I can spend time with - you don’t have to be beautiful but it helps. I’m sort of interested in this Kate Monster who lives next door. But then, I’m also sort of interested in Lucy the Slut. (See My Friends if you want to know more about them.) I’m not sure who I should go after — what do you think? Princeton’s Interests: General: Surviving. Period. A little money for beer wouldn’t hurt. I’m sick of living on Ramen Noodles. Movie: The Muppet Movie, Scarface.
Nicky “Just Goofing Around Here.” Male 25 years old
Nicky’s Interests: General: I’m trying to patent helium bubble wrap, which will make your packages lighter at the post office. But I haven’t quite gotten around to finding out how that patenting stuff works. I’m too busy pestering Rod. LOL. Music: Anything but Broadway musicals — (oh, Rod is going to kill me!).
Rod “Looking For Friends of Any Persuasion.” Male 27 years old NY, NY About me: I’m an investment banker in my 20s. I’m a redhead, wear glasses, pale blue skin. I live on Avenue Q. I live with my slobby best friend and sometimes worst enemy, Nicky. I’m a Republican. I’m not gay, despite what Nicky says sometimes. Who I’d like to meet: Judy Garland (if only!). Or even Lorna Luft. Or Ann-Margret. But I’m, I repeat, not gay. I think Barbra Streisand is totally hot. Very arousing. Rod’s Interests General: Home Décor, shopping, clothes, Parcheesi, knitting, crafting, baking, cleaning. But I love the ladies! Music: If a song has ever been on a Broadway stage, I have it in my music collection! Also, I’m a huge Liberace fan. But I’m sure lots of straight guys are like that. Movies: Mame, Sunset Boulevard, Valley
of the Dolls, All About Eve, Showgirls (wow, those chicks are hot!), Hello Dolly (and Hello, Barbra!), the Wizard of Oz, Grey Gardens, Some Like it Hot, Mommie Dearest, the Harvey Girls, Cabaret, The Women, Xanadu, Meet Me in St. Louis, Can’t Stop the Music, anything by Merchant-Ivory, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane - gosh, that seems a bit gay doesn’t it? Um, I also loved — Field of Dreams. Yeah. I watch that all the time. Television: Home and Garden Television, Trading Spaces, Changing Rooms, anything involving competitive singing or dancing. Heroes: Judy Garland!!!
Mrs. Thistletwat “This Website is Immoral” Female 92 years old About me: I am a 92-year-old kindergarten teacher who lives on Avenue Q. If you are reading this website, you are immoral and should be put on a permanent time-out. Who I’d like to meet: Nobody. Mrs. Thistletwat’s Interests: General: Praying, moralizing, lecturing, and punishing. I love working with children. Music: Anything written after the 1700s should be banned. (I’m talking about you, Mozart, and your devil music!) Movies: I will watch anything with Charlton Heston, and all else should, yes, be banned. Television: What’s that? Books: The Bible. Any anything by Ann Coulter. Heroes: Curelle De Vil Avenue Q at Palace Theatre (34 W. Broad Street) April 8-13: Tuesday-Friday at 8p, Saturday at 2p&8p, and Sunday at 1p&6:30p. Tickets range in price from $22.50-$69.50 and may be purchased at the Broadway Across America-Columbus or Ohio Theatre box offices, at all Ticketmaster outlets including Kroger or charged by phone at 614.431.3600 or online at BroadwayAcrossAmerica.com. Groups of 20 or more may reserve tickets by calling Broadway Across America-Columbus at 614.224.7654 x226.
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AVENUE Quiz Think you’re the Queen of AVENUE Q and have got alllll the answers? Test Your Avenue IQ! 1) What Broadway theatre does Avenue Q call home? a) Palace Theatre b) Golden Theatre c) Eugene O’Neil Theatre d) Marquis Theatre
6) One character shares her name with a holiday. Which holiday? a) Christmas Day b) Christmas Eve c) New Years Eve d) Easter
2) Who did not contribute in the creation of Avenue Q? a) Gary Coleman b) Bobby Lopez c) Jeff Marx d) Jeff Whitty
7) What did Princeton get his B.A. in? a) English b) Arts c) History d) Humanities
3) How many Tony awards did Avenue Q receive? 4) Which original Avenue Q cast member designed the show’s puppets? a) John Tartaglia b) Stephanie D’Abruzzo c) Rick Lyon d) Ann Harada 5) What New York City landmark plays a role in Avenue Q? a) Empire State building b) Statute of Liberty c) Brooklyn Bridge d) Times Square
8) Princeton is in search of his _______? a) Destiny b) Lucky penny c) Father d) Purpose 9) What song appears on the mix tape Princeton makes for Kate? a) My Heart Will Go On b) Help! c) My Humps d) It Sucks To Be Me 10) What is Kate Monster’s occupation? a) Broadway star
b) Kindergarten Teaching Assistant c) Systems analyst d) She’s jobless 11) How does Lucy want you to feel? a) Enraged b) Depressed c) Special d) Intellectual 12) In their opinion, whose life “sucks” the most? a) Trekkie Monster b) Rod c) Brian d) Gary Coleman 13) What is Rod’s secret? a) He’s a republican b) He is gay c) He wishes he was David Hasselhoff c) He loves musicals 14) What is the name of Rod’s roommate? a) Mickey b) Dickey c) Ricky d) Nicky
15) Why is Trekkie Monster so addicted to the Internet? a) Selling his possessions on eBay b) Buying things off amazon.com c) Sending online greeting cards d) Porn, Porn, Porn 16) What is the name of Rod’s “girlfriend” who lives in Canada? a) Alberta b) Saskatchewan c) Vancouver d) Montreal 17) What does Brian neglect to wear? a) His dentures b) His shirt c) His underwear d) His heart on his sleeve 18) What Princeton, Kate, and Nicky miss about college? a) Messages on dry erase boards b) Academic advisors to point the way c) Sitting in the computer lab, 4am before the final paper is due d) All of the above
Answers Key 1) b Golden Theatre 2) a Gary Coleman 3) 3 (Best Musical, Best Book of a Musical, Best Original Score) 4) c Rick Lyon 5) a Empire State building 6) b Christmas Eve 7) a English 8) d Purpose 9) a My Heart Will Go On 10) b Kindergarten Teaching Assistant 11) c Special 12) d Gary Coleman 13) b He is gay 14) d Nicky 15) d Porn, Porn, Porn 16) a Alberta 17) c His underwear 18) d All of the above
Outlook Readers Get Discount for Lion King Experience the phenomenon of Disney’s THE LION KING when Columbus’ best-loved musical returns! Marvel at the breathtaking spectacle of animals brought to life by award-winning director Julie Taymor, whose visual images for this show you’ll remember forever. Thrill to the pulsating rhythms of the African Pridelands and an unforgettable score including Elton John and Tim Rice’s Oscar-winning song “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” and “Circle of Life.” Let your imagination run wild at the Tony Award-winning Broadway sensation Newsweek calls “a landmark event in entertainment.” Columbus’ most eagerly awaited stage production returns to the Ohio Theatre stage in August. Disney’s THE LION KING will play August 29 through September 28. Ticket prices range from $20.00 to $127.50. For a limited time only, Outlook Weekly invites our friends and family to take advantage of specially priced tickets to THE LION KING. Beginning 9am on Thursday, March 27, just log onto BroadwayAcrossAmerica.com/GroupSales and enter the password OUTLOOK to take advantage of up to 10% off of select tickets! The Tree of Life from The Lion King National Tour. 2002, Disney. Photo: Joan Marcus.
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DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD by Romeo San Vicente
Arrested Development Back in Development It’s more than a rumor - it’s a confirmed “maybe.” And in Hollywood that’s as good as saying it’s actually happening. So while no ink has hit a contract, and no cameras have rolled, the fact remains that the critically beloved and unjustly cancelled sitcom Arrested Development is currently “in development” as a feature film. Writer Michael Hurwitz is attached, as are directors Joe and Anthony Russo. But what queer readers will be excited about is the emergence from Ellen-related semi-retirement of Portia de Rossi. She’s been kicking around and just hanging out since the show ended, taking it easy with the occasional appearance on Nip/Tuck. But when the film finally comes to pass, audiences will get to enjoy her comedic talents again as the vapid Lindsay Bluth Funke, estranged wife of closeted gay Tobias (David Cross). Hollywood, make this movie!
Oasis’ Gallagher Picks Up Booky Wook
Tilda Swinton Meets the Coen Brothers
When your band is so successful you can spend years between recording new albums, and you’re a rich rock star with time on your hands, what do you do next? Acting, that’s what. David Bowie, Mick Jagger, and even Huey Lewis have all tried their hands at it. Now it’s ‘90s Brit-pop bad boy Noel Gallagher’s turn. The Oasis star has signed on to be in My Booky Wook, the film adaptation of British comedian Russell Brand’s autobiography. Gallagher will play what reports are calling “a seedy homosexual” alongside gay Little Britain star David Walliams. Meanwhile, Monty Python alumnus Michael Palin has also been approached but has yet to commit. Michael Winterbottom (A Mighty Heart) will direct, but no release date is set yet. And if acting doesn’t pan out for Gallagher, he’s always got his Oasis gig to fall back on.
So she has a male partner. So she has two male partners. Does that make the now-AcademyAward-winning actress Tilda Swinton any less of a queer film icon? Romeo thinks not. And now the Oscar-equipped iconoclast has found her way into the arms (figuratively speaking) of Best Picture winners Joel and Ethan Coen, as well. Costarring in Burn After Reading, a comedy about two gym employees trying to sell a disk containing a CIA agent’s memoirs, she’ll work opposite Michael Clayton co-star George Clooney once again, as well as Brad Pitt and Coen regular Frances McDormand. From there Swinton heads off to work with indie icon Jim Jarmusch, as well as with rocker Marilyn Manson as he makes his own directing debut. Oh yeah, and then there are those Narnia movies no one plans on seeing.
The Other Keener Girl Finds Sarah Marshall She may look remarkably like her Oscar-nominated sister Catherine, but Elizabeth Keener is hiding in no one’s shadow. Reinvigorating this season of The L Word as the fire-breathing party girl Dawn Denbo, the lesbian actress has moved out of the bit-part world and into full-on memorable character roles. Once this season’s L episodes finish airing, newfound fans will get a chance to see her in April’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Revolving around a heartbroken man on vacation who discovers that his ex-girlfriend is at the same resort, the romantic comedy was written by How I Met Your Mother regular Jason Segel and co-stars Segel and Kristen Bell (Gossip Girl, Veronica Mars). And if this up-and-comer’s screen time turns out to be limited, then remember, there are no small roles.
Romeo San Vicente always preferred Blur to Oasis. Romeo can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.
ARTS by Sarah Bacha
CATCO Presents Pulitzer, Tony award-winning Doubt Decade’s most highly acclaimed play to be performed April 4-27 The setting is a Catholic K-8 school in the Bronx in 1965. Sister Aloysius Beauvier, the strict principal of the school, begins to question the relationship between a young priest and one of the school’s students. The more strongly Father Flynn defends himself, however, the stronger Sister Aloysius’ suspicions become and the harder she pursues him. What unfolds is a story about judgment, mystery, suspense, intrigue and even humor masterfully written by playwright John Patrick Shanley. First produced in 2005, Doubt immediately became one of the most talkedabout plays of the decade and went on to win the Pulitzer Prize for drama and Tony Award for best play the same year. “Although the setting of the play is a Catholic junior high school in the early 1960s, the play is not about Catholicism. It’s universal. I think everyone will identify with one or more of the characters (sometimes simultaneously!),” said Geoffrey Nelson, CATCO artistic director and founder. “It is a play of ideas, but MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
it is extremely simple and accessible to anyone. It doesn’t make you think – it let’s you think. It’s almost impossible to watch this play and not get swept up in the four characters and the choices they make.” The show receives different reactions from the audience for various reasons, so lively discussions result. In early productions playwright Shanley used to list his e-mail address so people could share their thoughts and questions. According to Nelson, Shanley has said that he thinks the second act of the one-act play occurs when the audience leaves the theatre and goes to a bar or
restaurant and starts talking about their reactions. “Although Doubt has a specific setting, its full title, Doubt: A Parable, directs us to consider meanings for any time, including our own. In an age when certainty, often proclaimed by the loudest voices, tends to drown out nuance and a balanced consideration, Shanley’s drama upholds the virtue of not rushing to action,” said James Bailey, dramaturge for the CATCO production. “Shanley has written in his introduction to the script that ‘Doubt requires more courage
than conviction does, and more energy.’ ” The Contemporary American Theatre Company (CATCO) will present Doubt April 4-27. All shows will be performed in the Studio One Theatre, Verne Riffe Center, 77 S High St. There are two previews for The Drawer Boy, April 4 and April 5, at 8p. Tickets are $32.50 for the main level (rows A-M) and $20.50 for the balcony. Tickets for two $11@11 matinee performances April 9 and April 16 are $11.50 ($11 plus a 50-cent restoration fee); tickets for a $20@2 matinee performance Saturday, April 26, are $20.50 ($20 plus a 50-cent restoration fee). All remaining tickets for regularly scheduled performances are $40 for the main level (rows A-M) and $25 for the balcony. Visit www.catco.org for more show details. All tickets can be purchased at the box office at 41 E. State St., next to the Ohio Theatre, by calling 614.469.0939 or by calling or visiting any central Ohio Ticketmaster location.
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OUT MUSICIAN KAKI KING TALKS ABOUT HER NEW ALBUM “DREAMING OF REVENGE,” HER GAY GROUPIES, AND HER SADLY MISSED ENCOUNTER WITH ANGELINA JOLIE Kaki King makes music that’s deep and intense. The New York Times said her last record …Until We Felt Red sounded like “the abstract, dreamy, and hypnotic end of alternative rock.” Her work is also highly respected. Last year, Rolling Stone named King as the only woman on their list of the world’s all-time greatest guitarists. And the Foo Fighters invited her to record on their Grammy-nominated album, Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace. King was also nominated for a Golden Globe Award for composing a portion of the music for the soundtrack to Into The Wild. Armed with such serious cred, it might be a surprise for fans to know that King has a delightfully playful - and sometimes silly - sense of humor. Listen closely to the music, particularly the songs that contain lyrics and vocals, and you will find, to your amusement, that King is not immune to planting tongue firmly in cheek. To boot, check out those whimsically peculiar song titles: names like “Happy as a Dead Pig in the Sunshine,” “Steamed Juicy Little Bun,” and “Gay Sons of Lesbian Mothers.” She may be a serious artist, but she’s also seriously funny. Get ready, then, for the next chapter in King’s captivating story - her recently released album Dreaming Of Revenge, produced by Grammy Award-winning musician and producer Malcom Burn (Emmylou Harris, Peter Gabriel). Revenge picks up the thread where King’s last disc left off, continuing her evolution from acoustic instrumentalist to full-fledged, multi-faceted songwriter. Previously, her whispery, ethereal voice was used as mainly another element in her sonic arsenal. This time around, King has put more effort into both her vocals and lyrics, resulting in her most accessible record to date. On the eve of her upcoming spring tour, the super smart (and occasionally cheeky) King beguiled us with thoughts about her musical evolution, her gay groupies, and her sadly missed encounter with Angelina Jolie. MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
OLW: The songs on this album are kind of mesmerizing. They’re very moody and meditative. Are you that way in real life? Kaki King: I think there’s always been a pensive melancholy to a lot of the songs I do. There’s a darkness sometimes. They’re not rock-and-roll feel good songs. I don’t think of them as depressing though. They’re more cathartic. OLW: I have to say, in person, you’re quite bright and lively. A little mischievous, actually. KK: It’s because I put the darkness in the music. If you were trying to pick out the kind of person I am by listening to the music, you’d be dead wrong. OLW: Okay, so let’s hear it from the horse’s mouth. What kind of person are you? KK: A really hot nerd [laughs]. OLW: You kinda are. KK: That’s how every girlfriend has described me. OLW: How are you a nerd? KK: I just get excited about esoteric stuff. I would say I’m a David Lynch-type nerd, not a Star Trek nerd. OLW: Let’s talk about the hot part. The photos for this album are very sexy. Love those pics of you in bed. KK: I’m always the first person in the room to take my shirt off, whether it’s for a photo shoot or not [laughs]. No seriously, the album is called Dreaming Of Revenge, so I thought the bed scenes were appropriate. I know some people might look at them and think that I’m showing a lot of skin, but I’m definitely not selling sex. I think of them as really beautiful artwork. Besides, they definitely wouldn’t be as captivating if I was in my pajamas.
OLW: Back to the music: how is this album different from your last one? KK: The last record was beautiful and lovely and unchaotic. I had a lot more personal chaos going when I was writing this new record. And then I came into the studio with the songs all written, and my producer said, “To hell with the demos. We’re going to write music every day.” It took me awhile to get used to, but I ultimately had such fun being creative in the moment. OLW: So what kind of chaos were you going through when you were working on this album? KK: I was in a relationship, and it ended. You can put two and two together. OLW: Okay, we’ll put that subject to bed - no pun intended. Most of your songs don’t have vocals. How do you title songs that don’t have lyrics? KK: I do it at the eleventh hour right before it’s time to print the artwork. You just kind of find little experiences that apply to the songs. OLW: Tell me about the title, Dreaming Of Revenge. KK: It’s from a quote by Gauguin: “Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.” It’s so entirely tongue and cheek, yet it’s so horrible and cynical. But I think it’s totally true; if you exist in the world, you’re going to be vengeful. Although I have to say, I’m the least vengeful person on the planet. I never hold a grudge. OLW: You got a ton of coverage in the gay and lesbian press for your last album. Do you sense an increase in your gay fanbase as a result? KK: I think there are definitely lesbian fans who heard about me for the first time through the gay press, but I think they came to my shows because they wanted to hear the music, not because I’m a lesbian. Ultimately, whatever reason
they come, I’m glad they’re there. But I hope it’s for the musical aspect, something that holds your interest beyond the hot photos [laughs]. OLW: Do you have groupies? KK: What are groupies? People that are really into my music? I guess. They’re all so lovely, though there are some who feel really possessive of me. They feel like they can critique my work because they’ve been there since the beginning. I’ve also had guys propose to me. They don’t know I’m gay - I guess they don’t do their research. OLW: You were nominated for a Golden Globe for your contribution to the Into The Wild soundtrack, which is an amazing accomplishment. How did you end up writing music for the film? KK: The sound editor had used some of my music for the film, just as temporary placement. Sean Penn [the film’s director] heard it, liked it, and called me. He said he really loved my work, and he wanted me to come out to the set in Southern California to meet everyone. After the film went through the editing process, they brought me in to write some new music. I had to compose it on the spot in front of a whole bunch of people. It really taught me how to work under pressure. OLW: And how did it feel to be nominated? KK: It felt awesome. Then the fact that the awards didn’t happen was so uncool. I really wanted to be in the same room as Angelina Jolie. But for the rest of my life, people are going to put the words “Golden Globe nominee” next to my name. That’s pretty cool.
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CLASSIFIEDS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY FLORAL BUSINESS 70-year-old family-run floral business for sale. Established clients, great location. Please call Mary McCarthy at Sunbelt Business Brokers, 614.734.8338, for more information.
DENTIST We seek personable, quality-oriented associate for busy family practice. Daily salary. Dr. Michael Mann, 7043 Pearl Rd, Ste 210, Cleveland, OH 44130.
OLDE TOWNE EAST 1096 & 1104 Bryden Rd, 1 BR apartments available, new kitchen, wd flrs, vaulted ceiling, $450/mo. More OTE rentals available. Call Beacon Property Mgmt at 614.228.6700.
BRYDEN ROAD Gorgeous, huge, luxury 3+ HELP WANTED bdrm, fin. attic. Beautiful wood floors, large gourmet kitchen, ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT dishwasher, pantry, tile island. Predominantly GLBT church Exposed brick, central air, sec. seeks part time AA. Ten hours system. Great location: Easy per week, $10/hr, daytime avail- on/off 70/71. Close to everyability a must. Contact Rev. thing. Washer/dryer negotiable. Margaret Hawk at New Creation $1,000 plus security. Call MCC. 614.409.9610 or 202.360.7790 or visit the web firstname.lastname@example.org. tour: http://inthecityliving.com.
OLDE TOWNE EAST 3-bedroom house in Lode Towne East. $900/month Quiet. gay friendly street. Fenced in yard with deck. Garage parking. Land contract option. If you have been to a bird bash party, this is the house. Call Jaybird for more information. 614.975.5569
THE KIDS IN THE HALL RETURN TO THE ROAD! The Most Critically-Acclaimed Comedy Troupe of Our Generation Hits Columbus April 6 The Kids in the Hall, the watershed comedy troupe of the 1990’s, are returning to their live-performance roots for a major North American theater tour in 2008. The tour kicks off at the Star Plaza Theatre in Merrillville, IN on April 4, 2008, and will include approximately 30 cities in the US and Canada. Discovered by Lorne Michaels, creator of Saturday Night Live, The Kids in the Hall - Dave Foley, Bruce McCulloch, Kevin McDonald, Mark McKinney, and Scott Thompson - exploded into the American consciousness when their half-hour sketch comedy show debuted on cable’s HBO in 1989. The troupe’s distinctly edgy humor broke new ground with their characterizations of secretaries, prostitutes, gays, drug users, and oddball creations like the half human Chicken Lady, the vengeful “head crusher” and the chauvinist Cabbage Head. Critical acclaim, Emmy and Ace nominations, and a legion of extremely dedicated fans quickly followed the debut. The show itself ended in 1995, but lived on in constant re-runs on cable’s Comedy Central, offering new fans the opportunity to fall under the “hilariously warped” (Entertainment Weekly) spell of the “Kids’” spin on life, love, lust, middle-class values, and the dark corners of suburbia. Since the show ended, each member of the troupe has been involved in a variety of extremely successful projects, but finally acquiesced to the steady demands from fans to take their classic sketches out of the hall and back in front of a live audience in 2000. A movie version of the tour, “Same Guys, New Dresses” followed, along with another tour and DVD in 2002 (“Tour of Duty”). The 2008 tour, titled “Live As We’ll Ever Be”, represents a new era in the troupe’s collaboration, and is comprised of completely fresh material which simultaneously reflects who they are now and their patently off-kilter take on ordinary life. Favorite characters from the television series appear in entirely new situations, sharing the stage with new KITH personas which are destined for the same level of cult adoration. In a world where most entertainment tries to play it safe, “The Kids in the Hall” steadfastly refuse to follow the trend, preferring instead to slaughter sacred cows and look at the world – and each other – with refreshing honesty. Join The Kathies, Headcrusher, the Sales Guys, Buddy Cole, and people you’ve never met before (but somehow recognize from your everyday life) on an adventure into the bizarre and side-splittingly funny. KITH land in Columbus at Wexner Center Mershon Auditorium Sunday April 6 at 8p. Tickets are $25.50-$35.50 and available at ticketmaster.com. KITH then return to Ohio to play at Playhouse Square in Cleveland May 31 at 7p. For more info see http://www.myspace.com/kithtour08 and/or kithblog.tripod.com. MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
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SEX TALK by Simon Sheppard
Sure, anal sex has assiduous adherents, and mutual masturbation makes many men come. But there’s no doubt: Going down is number one on the homosex hit parade. As one fellatio-centric fellow says, “Everyone I know likes to give head.” One might seek explanations from fellows like Freud: Shrinks used to claim that gay men were emotionally arrested, stuck at the phase of orality. And prudes might protest it betrays a homosexual hunger for masculinity that can never be fully fed. But perhaps our fellator has a more compelling clarification. Says he, “It’s amazing to be able to wrap my lips around a stiff one, to give another man all that pleasure. It’s just delicious, and sucking a shaft makes me feel so connected to the man it belongs to. No, there’s just no better feeling than giving head...except maybe getting blown by an expert like me.” He continues, “Listen, I love men’s meat. You might say I’m a connoisseur. And though no two of them look identical, or feel the same, the best way to appreciate each one is to get it in your mouth.” Penis-on-the-palate has practical advantages, too. Compared to anal sex, going down is a no-muss, no-fuss option. It can be engaged in anywhere, from a beautiful bedroom to the backseat of a Buick. Undressing’s not required - just unzip and you’re ready to go. There’s no lube needed, and clean-up is a breeze, especially if swallowing’s involved. And though fellatio’s not free of risk, it’s considerably safer than buttsex - particularly when it comes to HIV. (Though, if you want to avoid nasties, including syphilis and gonorrhea, using a condom’s not a bad idea.) Then, too, it’s one of those “anyone can do it” activities, though not without rare exceptions. No matter how enthusiastic, some suckers just don’t cut it. Recalls one man, “Some guys - like me - are born with big meat, others with small mouths. And one buddy who loved to suck me just couldn’t keep his teeth out of the way. Pity, really. Eventually, I stopped returning his e-mails. I guess that’s cruel, but who wants to get bitten?” With sufficient relaxation and some attention to breathing, most men can become proficient pole-smokers. But not all. Our well-endowed fellow confesses, “Actually, I’m
MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
not much good at deep-throating, myself. But when I get sucked, I prefer guys to suck more shallowly and focus on my head, anyway.” Fellatio’s also a no-erection-required activity. Skilled sucking is an excellent way to coax a reluctant shaft to stiffness...though it’s even fun with a soft one. And guys who can’t get it up, or who have just shot their wads, can still have fun going down. The fellatio-centric fellow says, “In a way, I like sucking guys more when I’m ignoring my own crotch. Whatever physical sensations I might miss are more than made up for by the mental pleasures of being totally focused on servicing another man.” And the well-endowed man’s happy to do his part. “Sure,” he says, “I want my partner to enjoy himself. But many of the men I play with seem perfectly content to concentrate on getting me off…which suits me just fine.” Indeed, when it comes to going down, the difference between “top” and “bottom” gets fuzzy. Penetration aside, who’s really the active one, who’s really in control? There are suck scenes where vigorous face-humping is the order of the day, but in lie-back-and-enjoy-it sessions, the sucker may be doing all the work. And those roles become irrelevant in 69-ing, where two dudes simultaneously suck and get sucked. Gay guys whose specialty is getting into ostensibly straight men’s pants often give thanks for fellatio. Confides a het-chaser, “Lots of straight men may be grossed out by anal sex, and they may not even want to touch another guy’s penis, but every last one of them loves to get sucked off. And because I know firsthand how it feels to be blown, I bet I give better head than any girl.” He smiles. “Or at least that’s what a bunch of married men have told me.” Say what you will about speaking in tongues, when it comes to queer guys, giving head is the universal language, and for most of us, a throbber in the throat never loses its thrill. So, whether you swallow or spit, have given head to one man or a hundred, if meat in your mouth turns you on, join the gay majority. And open wide. Simon Sheppard is the editor of Homosex: Sixty Years of Gay Erotica, and the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at SexTalk@qsyndicate.com. Visit Simon at www.simonsheppard.com.
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 29
SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage
My wife beat breast cancer five years ago. Went through chemo and radiation and ultimately radical surgery. Brave, lovely, and lucky woman she is. But after the procedures, she said she was proud of her post-op look and the zigzag scar across her chest. No new boobs for her. Moi? I don’t like going to bed with Peter Pan. We talked about this and she wants to stay scarred and boobless. I respect her wishes. It’s her body… so no plastic surgery. But I get weirded out instead of excited every time I see her nude. Our love life has gone the way of her boobs and I feel as guilty as hell because I can’t get over this. She will, however, wear boobs when we go to weddings and other functions. I Miss Her Boobs I’m thinking the wife misses her boobs too, IMHB, but she’s concluded that implants and reconstructive surgery aren’t going to bring ’em back, only a potentially uncomfortable, thoroughly inadequate approximation of her boobs. But I can appreciate your frustration. If my boyfriend developed a life-threatening medical condition and getting breast implants was the only way to save his life, I would support him and hold his hand and go bra shopping for him while he recovered. But I would be just as weirded out by his body with boobs as you are by your wife’s without. But, um, that’s really neither here nor there there are no conditions that breast implants can cure (erectile dysfunction doesn’t count) - and the analogy is totally offensive and I’m probably gonna have to disable my e-mail account for a week. Other offensive analogies spring instantly to mind - how would I feel if my boyfriend’s ass imploded? how would I feel if he grew a mustache? how would I feel if his body changed as he aged and after a few decades together he wasn’t the exact same 23-year-old club kid I picked up in that gay bar? - but seeing as none of that will ever happen, let’s set these hypotheticals aside, shall we? I’m vamping, IMHB, because there are no easy answers. One might hope that your love for the wife would trump your weirded-out feelings and you would come to appreciate the wife’s boyish new body. Or her boy-with-large-zigzag-scar-running-across-her-chestish new body. One might also hope that your wife’s feelings for you might prompt her to see her boobs as something that brought you joy, not just as the part of her body that attempted to kill her, and that she might be willing to get breast implants for your sake. Because although it’s her body - and it is, it is - you also have a stake in it. Sometimes, you know, literally. Anyway…
But you can’t get over it and she sees her new body - and perhaps the victory over death symbolized by those scars - as more important than your shared sex life. So you’re at an impasse and the standard advice for couples at an impasse - compromise - just won’t cut it. (“Maybe just one implant, honey? The left one was always my favorite….”) The only other compromise is so obvious and unsatisfactory - would she consider wearing her fake breasts to bed every now and then? - that you’ve probably already discussed and/or tried it. So, like, I’m really flailing around here. In fact, my flailing was so obvious that a coworker - a straight guy - noticed and asked what was up. “Isn’t that why God invented doggy-style?” he said, after I read him your letter. “Just man up and turn her over, dude.” That ain’t much, I realize, but I’m afraid it’s the best advice you’re going to get today. Thank you for playing Savage Love, IMHB, and good luck. I watched a video of your recent appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher and you appeared to be wearing a Queen’s University engineering jacket. I was a Queen’s med school student and am now an emergency doctor at the same university and have seen those jackets around for the past decade - where did you get that? Did you go to Queen’s? Or are you just showing your loyalty to a country that recognizes your marriage? Kari At Queen’s University I did not attend Queen’s University, KAQU. The jacket was a gift from a friend because… well, isn’t it obvious? And while we’re on the subject of all things Canadian, I said something on Real Time that seems to have upset all those normally placid, easy-going French-speaking Canadians. While discussing the hyperreligiosity of the American electorate, I made this observation: “Australia got the convicts. Canada got the French. We got the Puritans. We’re stuck with them.” “I was very pleased to see that you are putting French-Canadians on the same level as the Australian convicts,” writes JNR of Montreal. “As a matter of fact, a few of these convicts came from Quebec, from where they were banished after the 1837–38 riot. But please don’t compare us to the Puritans.” For the record: It was a compliment, Quebec. What I meant, of course, was that Australia was lucky to get the convicts, Canada was lucky to get the French, while we got stuck with the fucking Pu-
ritans and their sex-hating, Jesus-freaking, GOPvoting descendants. In fact, I’ll prove how much I love French-speaking Canada by offering Englishspeaking Canada this deal: The sane people in the United States will happily trade you the Bible Belt for Quebec. We’ll take those contentious secessionist headaches off your hands, and all those bilingual street signs, if you’ll take the 22 percent of our country that still believes George W. Bush is doing a good job. You get Mike Huckabee and Gary Bauer; we get Justin Trudeau and Antoine Vermette. We get all your hot, uncut boys with sexy accents from Montreal; you get all our slope-shouldered, slack-jawed yokels from Mississippi. Do we have a deal? I love your column, and am sure you’ve already gotten a million e-mails about Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern and her hateful gay-bashing video on YouTube. She’s deplorable and other people deserve to know about her hating ways. Justine “I’m not anti, I’m not gay bashing,” Sally Kern says on her now-infamous audio recording, before she goes on to say that homosexuality is “the biggest threat that our nation has, even more so than terrorism. Or Islam, which I think is a big threat.” Nice. Then after exposing early childhood education for what it is - a gay plot, dontcha know - Sally bemoans the fact that “gays are infiltrating city councils… they are winning elections!” We certainly are, Sally, because infiltrating city councils - and school boards and state legislatures isn’t just for right-wing Christian bigots anymore. Decent folks are understandably angry with Ms. Kern. But instead of sending Sally an angry e-mail - excuse me, I mean in addition to sending her an angry e-mail (email@example.com) - make Sally’s worst nightmares come true. Patrick Flaherty is running for alderman in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He’s won an eight-way primary with 32 percent of the vote on February 19 and the general election is coming right up on April 1. If you’re pissed at Sally Kern, don’t just send her an angry e-mail. Help make her worst nightmares come true by sending a campaign contribution to Patrick Flaherty - who has been endorsed by Milwaukee’s mayor, the Victory Fund, and others - by going to his website: www.patricknewleadership.com. Download Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage. firstname.lastname@example.org
MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
30 • OUTLOOK WEEKLY
EQUIVITA ANNOUNCES FREE LIVING & LEARNING WORKSHOPS
EQUIVITA’s free Living and Learning Workshops will be on Saturday, April 5, 2008 from 1p - 4p at 1508 Hess St Columbus. A free informal class will be offered every forty-five minutes, encompassing a wide variety of life topics such as sleep and relaxation, acupuncture, home organization, and a new model of fitness. A complete list of topics and professional speakers is available below and on the EQUIVITA web site at equivita.com. “The purpose of the Living and Learning Workshops is to provide an opportunity to bring together professionals and consumers in an environment that will promote sharing of information and lifelong learning,” says Adam Milligan, EQUIVITA President. In addition to the presentations, there will be experience stations, where participants can interact one-on-one for free advice and information from local business providers. “This is more than a health fair. This is a chance to connect with the tools to support the life you want to have,” remarks Milligan. The experience stations will feature consultations with hair and make-up stylists and artists, alternative medicine specialists, group fitness experts, and chair massages. All for free! Why? For those of you unfamiliar with EQUIVITA, their mission is to support their clients and their lifestyle choices. More than fitness, this is total wellness. And, to EQUIVITA, wellness is more than losing body fat and achieving an ideal body image. It is all about your life, from learning how to start your day with a good cup of coffee to getting that great night’s sleep and everything in-be-
tween. “We began this event as a way for our clients to learn about topics of interest from professionals in the field. Since then, it has grown into an event in which not only our clients, but the community-at-large benefits,” states Milligan. As a bonus, we are offering a free notebook containing wellness articles, including Taking the Secret Out of Fitness. To receive a free copy, contact EQUIVITA at 614.298.8781 or email email@example.com. Topics and presenters include: 1-1:45p: 1, 2, 3, 4…..Counting Sheep and Other Ways to Sleep Well Tonight by John S. Kim, MD, Diplomate ABSM, Sleep and Breathing Research Institute; 1:45p2:30p: Using Traditional Chinese Medicine to Benefit You: The Role of Acupuncture in Healing by Hong Chen, MS, LAc, American Institute of Alternative Medicine; 2:30p-3:15p: Help! I’m Drowning in a Sea of Clutter and I Can’t Get Out! by Michele Evans, Organizing Specialist, Evans Cleaning and Organizing; 3:15p-4p: Changing Your Life Through a New Fitness Model by Adam Milligan, BS, HFI, President, EQUIVITA Partial Listing of Confirmed Experience Station Experts: Lisa Weaver, Touch of Gourmet; Bryan Beaver, Ha!r; Kimm Marks, Yoga on High; Hong Chen, American Institute of Alternative Medicine; Kathy Anthony, Nia; Jeff Davis, Café Brioso; and Emily Cable, Couchfire Collective. For more info 614.298.8781, www.equivita.com.
COLUMBUS NEXT MEETING: APR 9, 6P-8P; LOCATION: WHOLE FOODS MARKET (3670 W DUBLIN-GRANVILLE RD) • WWW.NETWORKCOLUMBUS.COM
MAR 27 - APR 02 2008
OUTLOOK WEEKLY • 31
THE LAST WORD by Scott Blaine Swenson
AIDS Fight Requires More Than Politics As Usual Americans need look no farther than the reauthorization of the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR) to understand why fundamental change is needed in Washington. The good intentions of American taxpayers extending a helping hand to Africans ravaged by AIDS are caught between Republican ideologues and complicit Democrats avoiding a fight on issues at the center of efforts to combat AIDS; sexual and reproductive health. PEPFAR’s mission was compromised by the House Foreign Affairs Committee because they cannot honestly discuss sexual reproductive health. Once Republican ideologues invoke abortion, which has nothing to do with PEPFAR, problem solving is lost to politics. For 25 years social conservatives ignored AIDS, using it to marginalize people and allowing the disease to run rampant. Now rigid ideology prevents them from allowing public health experts to use proven scientific methods to educate, prevent and treat. Democrats who compromise are politically complicit. Ignoring objective analyses and recommendations based on PEPFAR’s first five years from the Institute of Medicine, General Accounting Office, Center for Public Integrity and others, the current proposal fails to ensure the increased funds are spent wisely. Congress will
spend more without listening to proven public health strategies. The good news is the White House has agreed to Congress’ request for $50 billion, over five-years, up from $30 billion President Bush requested. More money is good, but more money spent wisely, based on reality is better. The new proposal includes efforts to address unique circumstances that women, girls and youth face, including efforts to confront violence against women, promoting property and inheritance rights, expanding economic opportunity to promote financial independence, and efforts to work with men and boys to reinforce positive attitudes and the rights of women. Women in Africa have less ability to negotiate sex, are often married young, and exposed to HIV often through marriage. Other positive changes include increased training of health care professionals and support for nutrition programs. Now for the bad news: • Republicans continue to push abstinenceonly policies that major studies on PEPFAR indicate impede program effectiveness. An earmark insisting 33 percent of funds be spent on abstinence is gone. But in its place is a requirement that 50 percent of funds for preventing sexual transmission be spent on “behavior change,” defined as abstinence,
delay of sexual debut, monogamy and fidelity. The tone of the new requirement suggests that abstinence-only programming is preferred. The proposal requires local public health officials to report noncompliance. Congressional micromanagement like this perpetuates failed abstinence-only policies and politicizes a program that should be based on scientific evidence, not ideology. • The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops successfully removed provisions allowing voluntary contraception services to be offered to participants in programs working to prevent mother to child transmission of HIV. The World Health Organization states that voluntary contraception is one of the most important aspects of preventing mother to child transmission. • Only family planning organizations that sign the Global Gag Rule, prohibiting recipients of U.S. foreign assistance from even discussing abortion, are now eligible for PEPFAR. Family planning organizations are not seeking to use PEPFAR money to perform or counsel abortions, and cannot by existing law. They want to help provide contraception and reproductive health services alongside HIV services, as recommended by public health experts. • The Democrats voluntarily gave up fighting the anti-prostitution pledge. The pledge ef-
fectively restricts organizations receiving money from PEPFAR from working with sex workers, who are one of the most vulnerable populations in terms of contracting HIV, and a primary target group to slow the spread of the disease. They were more concerned about reelection than attacking HIV/AIDS strategically. There is no doubt that issues of sexual and reproductive health are difficult to discuss, but in order to address the AIDS pandemic in Africa, Congress must learn from public health experts. American voters are clamoring for reality-based politics this primary season, looking for solutions to difficult problems, and rejecting politicians who continue to divide. The reality is this was a moment missed by the House Foreign Affairs Committee. It was a moment to prove that a Democratic majority could do something differently, better, for the people of Africa; that we could rise above polarization and partisanship. There is still hope the full House will change the proposal based on sound public health strategies. More lives will be saved with the new proposal, but we can save even more if our elected officials put public health over politics. Swenson is the Editor of RH Reality Check.org, an online publication dealing with sexual and reproductive health.
HOROSCOPES by Jack Fertig
ARIES (Mar 20 - Apr 19): Those wild dreams you’ve been having get even crazier, but can help guide your career and repair friendships. Any inspiration, especially while meditating, may help. Take the time and effort to analyze and interpret the craziest images that blow into your head.
CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22): The old advice, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have,” refers to your sense of self as much as to your wardrobe. If you sense attitude from your peers, you may indeed be overdoing it. Hear them out.
LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22): Family connections and expectations can cause discomfort in defining your partnership. All relationships take work and frequent adjustment. It needn’t be so serious. Get your baby and your folks together for some entertainment or games.
CAPRICORN (Dec 21 - Jan19): Family and ethnic background could be sources of great strength, if only because they challenged you severely. You probably have more positives in your heritage than you know. Talking with siblings or other “sisters” can help you see things in a better light.
TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20): Left to your own imagination, you may question your long-held beliefs and your place in the world. Listen to your friends for guidance. The crazier their suggestions, the more you should at least listen. Professional opinions will probably back them up.
LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22): Your powerful loyalty influences the ways you think, but that could sometimes lead to dysfunctional thinking. “What’s right” is ultimately more important than “who’s right.” Sometimes what a friend needs most is a different opinion.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21): Your ambition and hunger for status among your peers can make you sloppy. Back to basics, babe! What do you really want to accomplish? Time out to play and have fun with your homies will help re-establish perspective.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18): An occasional sense of alienation can help you in the long run, affirming your unique identity. Trying to buy your way into belonging is counterproductive, but being a personal asset to a cause you believe in is always good for the soul.
GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 20): Your wildest erotic dreams can come true, but probably not if you want to keep them a secret. Giving them some publicity could prove to your favor, depending on how utterly shameless you’re willing to be.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22): Your sexual and gender identities are more than invitations to play - not that you need to refuse the many invitations you should be getting now. Balance your fun with community work and creative cooperative efforts.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 20): Money should be coming in easily, but holding onto it is the problem. When facing household expenses, remember the economies practiced by your parents or grandparents in leaner times. Joining clubs can get expensive. Think twice before paying dues.
PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 19): Your social ambitions can clash with your personal values. Who are those people you’re aspiring to be with? Why do they matter? And what does that say about you? You gotta have friends, but your own heart and your deepest personal faith will guide you better.
Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is a founding member of the Association for Astrological Networking. He can be reached for consultations at 415.864.8302, www.starjack.com, and by e-mail at QScopes@qsyndicate.com.
MAR 27 - APR 02 2008