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outlook may 2011 â€˘ vol 15 issue 12
inside: snapshot network cbus michael hermick Dr Carol Goland AARON & JOSH KREAIS Orchard House Paul Kuber CROPS, FUEL & FOOD PRICES tanisha robinson Ding Dong delivery & Local celebrity eddie
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Love a fly ball? Well get ready for outlook Night at the Clippers! Stay tuned for when this summer it is...
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you are here
food is political
Ohio grown as I am (some of you will get the double entendre), I’ve lived a mixed life of urban, suburban, and out on the farm. It’s a good way to be raised and I think that’s why most of us in the MidWest are, as they say ‘so nice’ - because we have a more holistic life experience than many people across the country. Ohio life isn’t such a great divide between “people from the big city’ and “people from the sticks.” Many of us grew up in small to mid sized towns surrounded by farms. Even if we were in a city, or a burb of the urban core, we couldn’t get from one town to the next without going through the fields. If you lived on the outskirts of town, county school lines and city school lines were as random as the 2000 Ohio redistricting, so many times our friends were a mix of country kids and city folk. And it is that diversity that brought insight and understanding, as well as, a respect and an infinity for both ways of life. I remember when I lived in NYC, the biggest thing I yearned for was the country side, more specifically the ability to see. You don’t realize what a gift it is to be able to look out for miles and miles (I ♥ Pete Townshend), nor do you realize to what length you can actually see, until you live in a city where the farthest visible stretch is a few blocks. It made me feel incredibly unconnected to the land. Now I never farmed mind you, but being able to run in the fields, go to the county fair, drive out to a farm market or smell the summer fertilizer, I knew I was a part of the process. And it was removed from Ohio, that I realized what it meant to me. Living in Ohio, we are all a part of the process. It’s something I think we historically tend to overlook in our metro areas. But with the rise of urban community gardens, the socially conscious hipster and of course the do-gooder gays (Go Gay Bucks!), conversations about sustainability, buying local and organic products are at least lukewarm topics in town. We think they should be red-hot - hence, this issue. Well that, and I’ve been dying to use the cover image for years. Inside you’ll find a variety of tasty brain food that will take you deep into the life and issues of those whose world revolve around food and agriculture. Whether it’s running a farm in NW Ohio, owning a bed and breakfast in Grandville, certifying our eats as organic, teaching the next generation agriculturists, delivering farm fresh produce to your door or providing discount restaurant offerings, there’s definitely something for you to enjoy from our editorial buffet. Eat it up.
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truth wins out
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27 feature: aaron & josh kreais 30 feature : orchard house
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Abbey Miller, William Ashley, Regina Sewell, Romeo San Vicente, Jack Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Dan Savage, Mickey Weems, Michael Daniels, Chris Hayes, Jon Dunn, Chad Paul Frye, Mackenzie Worral, Phillecia Cochran, Ryan Harris, Gregg Shapiro, Mario Pinardi, Mette Bach, Wayne Besen, Ed Mullen
feature : paul kuber
feature : is it organic
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Chris Hayes, Traut, Dominik Damaziak (cover)
feature : does eating meat cuase hunger?
CONTRIBUTING DESIGNER Robert Trautman
feature : green B.E.A.N.
INTERNS Mackenzie Worrall, Sam Malone, Siobhan Tuck, Nicole Euchler, Tony Brost
feature : tanisha robinson bookmark
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outlook columbus is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. the first day of each month throughout Ohio. outlook columbus is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue outlook columbus with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in outlook columbus are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management. outlook columbus does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2010 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
53 interview: Javier Fuentes-Leon 56
local celeb astro forecast
NEXT MONTH: Chris Hayes Co Publisher
The Pride issue outlookcolumbus.com
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9 Who’s hungry? Well prepare for a feast of great editorial this month. We’re excited to serve you our Out on the Range Issue, which focuses on food, farming and rural gays. We’re also excited to force feed you as many food and agricultural references, facts and tidbits as possible.
OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Christopher Hayes
160 degrees Fahrenheit is the correct cooking temperature to ensure safe and savory ground beef. 98 degrees is Chad Fryes favorite bands.
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#) GWCTD MARCH 26, 2011
GWCTD MARCH 26, 2011
GWCTD MARCH 26, 2011
LOOK WHAT THEY FOUND IN THE DISCARDED BATH WATER
I LIKE YOUR BEARD
A FAMILY AFFAIR
GWCTD MARCH 26, 2011
GWCTD MARCH 26, 2011
GWCTD MARCH 26, 2011
WHEN YOU RUNNING AGAIN RUSS?
SERVICE WITH A SMILE
EVERY TIME I TRY AND PLAY THAT TIE I GET SMACKED, AND THEN I BLOW A WHISTLE
TWO GIRLS, A GUY AND A FUNDRAISER
MEET ED MULLEN MARCH 27, 2011
MEET ED MULLEN MARCH 27, 2011
MEET ED MULLEN MARCH 27, 2011
MEET ED MULLEN MARCH 27, 2011
COUPLE OF THE YEAR
YES, JOEL IS BACK IN TOWN
WE CAME TO SEE THE APARTMENT
HOST WITH THE MOST, OR IS THAT GETS THE MOST?
NETWORK COLUMBUS APRIL 13, 2011
NETWORK COLUMBUS APRIL 13, 2011
NETWORK COLUMBUS APRIL 13, 2011
NETWORK COLUMBUS APRIL 13, 2011
JEFF’S THE FILLING IN A STRAIGHT SANDWICH
WHO’S CURTAINS MATCH THEIR DRAPES?
VERTICAL STRIPES MAKE YOU APPEAR TALLER
GWCTD MARCH 26, 2011
TALK ABOUT SAUCY BALLS!
THEY LIVE TOGETHER IN PERFECT HAR-MO-NY
The dairy community provides Ohio residents with more than 14,350 full and part time jobs.
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Elevators in the Statue of Liberty use a soybean-based hydraulic fluid.
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A happy home is one filled with love and more than 2 DVR slots. AT&T U-verse® TV
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Record up to 4 shows at once on AT&T U-verse® TV. 800-PICK-ATT | VISIT A STORE | ATT.COM/TV Geographic and service restrictions apply to AT&T U-verse services. Call or go to att.com/tv to see if you qualify. Offers end 3/19/11. $29 TV offer is for new residential U-verse customers ordering U-family TV. After 6 months, standard rates apply for U-verse service(s). A one-time TV Service Activation Fee of $29 applies. DVR Package Offer is for U-family. DVR not included with U100 or U-basic packages. Total Home DVR functionality is available on up to eight TVs and requires a receiver for each additional TV at $7/mo. each. FOR DETAILS, GO TO att.com/tvdetails OR CALL 1-866-270-0399. ©2011 AT&T Intellectual Property. All rights reserved. AT&T and the AT&T logo are trademarks of AT&T Intellectual Property. All other marks contained herein are the property of their respective owners.
A happy pride is one with a Ferris Wheel... oh wait, we got one! Come on get happy on the outlook Ferris Wheel at Cbus’s Pride Holiday Festival!
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Setting the record Straight – Much ado about Nothing To the Editor:
Face Value Was Awarded A Major Ford Grant Dear Editor, On behalf of the Face Value Advisory Board, I am delighted to say that we are now ready to begin a new chapter in our efforts to create a society that fully accepts and embraces lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. As many of you know, Face Value has just received a $730,000 grant from the Ford Foundation, one of six projects awarded funding through a new initiative, “Sexuality, Health, and Rights Among Youth in the United States.” This unprecedented and prestigious award will allow Face Value to conduct research that examines public discourse and beliefs about children, sexuality, sexual orientation and gender expression; that uncovers how these themes intersect to trigger fear, prejudice, and stigma against LGBT people; and that identifies new ways to discuss these issues that improve the lived experience of LGBT people and their families. In December, Julie Davis and I were joined in New York City by fellow Face Value Advisory Board member Renee Richardson Gosline for a convening of all grant recipients at the Ford Foundation. This was a highly stimulating and inspiring meeting of fellow travelers-academics and activists similarly committed to fostering new partnerships where cutting-edge academic research can be used to develop more effective public policy solutions and more expansive social justice pursuits. Beginning this spring, Renee and I will join our friend and colleague Patrick Egan in directing Face Value’s new multidisciplinary research collaborative, made possible by the Ford Foundation funding. The Ford grant is just the latest indication of the enormous progress Face Value has made since its inception in the spring of 2009. Under Julie’s inspired leadership, members of the Advisory Board have been meeting with major stakeholders in the LGBT movement, convening with public opinion experts and other researchers to better understand the root causes of anti-LGBT stigma and its impact on social relations and political realities, presenting our vision and work at conferences and foundations, and developing an ambitious research plan that will inform our work over the coming years. At once challenging and enlightening, these discussions have reaffirmed our belief that true liberation for LGBT people rests in our ability to change hearts and minds, as well as laws and public policies. With that, let us continue our common struggle for full acceptance and equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people - in this nation and throughout the world. As we enter this new and exciting phase of research, collaboration, and transformation, I hope you will continue to support Face Value’s crucial work. In solidarity, Timothy Patrick McCarthy, Ph.D. Harvard Kennedy School Face Value Advisory Board
Over the past several weeks, there has been great speculation, poor reporting, and gross misrepresentation of the American Legislative Exchange Council’s (ALEC) positions on pension reform and collective bargaining. The erroneous claims have traveled through the blogsphere and grabbed the attention of mainstream media. Unfortunately, due to little or no fact-checking, ALEC’s positions and activities have been misreported. ALEC is setting the record straight.
ALEC supports budget transparency in the proper use of taxpayer dollars. When state employee unions collectively bargain with the people’s money, this should be a transparent process. Citizens have the right to know where their money is going and how it is being used.
ALEC has a policy initiative on pension reform and balancing budgets. The Budget Reform Toolkit and Other Post Employee Benefits publications were both nationally announced and mailed to all our legislative members. Rich States, Poor States is used by state legislators throughout the country to With more than 2,000 members, ALEC is the nafind sound, conservative, successful budgeting tion’s largest, non-partisan, individual public-pri- practices. Each of these publications discusses vate membership association of state legislators. pension reform. Our policy initiatives, publicaALEC’s legislative members are comprised of both tions and press releases on these issues can all Democrats and Republicans who share the same be found on ALEC’s website for anyone’s use. ideals. ALEC does not coordinate with any politi- These are hardly the actions of a secretive organical party. ALEC is a state legislative organization zation. with the goal of promoting Thomas Jefferson’s principles of limited government, free markets, Accusations of ALEC secretly meeting with goverand federalism through sound policy solutions. nors, ALEC running and coordinating ground camThis goal is shared by like-minded lawmakers paigns against public employee unions, and ALEC across the United States. wanting to eliminate public employee unions are first and foremost not true. ALEC’s States and ALEC provides an opportunity for its members to Nation Policy Summit coincided with newly-elected learn from each other and policy experts repregovernors’ meetings at the White House in Decemsenting a variety of issue areas affecting our citi- ber, but there were no meetings between governors zens and our economy. This interaction enables and ALEC staff on any policy. If a governor’s polilegislators to learn best practices and successes cies fall under the Jeffersonian principles of limfrom other states. Legislators present, suggest ited government, free markets and federalism, and debate sound policies, which may be adopted and ALEC has policies similar to those being proas ALEC model legislation. Legislators should posed, then ALEC proudly supports those policies. have the best information possible when making ALEC does not have satellite offices. We have 27 policy decisions. Our policies and initiatives are full-time employees that work in Washington, D.C. public and we are proud to support our legislators ALEC has not sent out “ground troops” to Wisconas they carry out ALEC principles. The complexity sin. ALEC is not coordinating a ground campaign and diversity of ALEC’s public and private sector on collective bargaining. members logically suggest that there are differing opinions on almost every policy position. ALEC is These wild accusations have caught the attention also pleased to provide an environment of educa- of the mainstream media. Quite a few reporters tion to help them find sensible policy solutions to from state and local media have called or emailed today’s complex issues. with an unfortunately biased agenda. ALEC has been working with the New York Times and Wall How does pension reform and collective bargain- Street Journal over the past couple of weeks to ing fit in? ALEC has been educating its members satisfy their inquiries. Both nationally renowned, for years on sound budget practices; this includes leading papers have decided after extensive repension reform and transparency in collective bar- search, interviews and fact checking that there is gaining. Unsustainable cost drivers threaten the no story. ALEC appreciates their fact-finding misfinancial solvency of the states. ALEC encourages sions and will continue to enjoy good relationship states to explore every option possible to balance with both newspapers. budgets, including pension reform and utilizing new approaches for pension funding, such as de- ALEC legislators and ALEC employees are proud of fined benefit plans. According to the Bureau of our positions and policies. ALEC is for effective Labor Statistics at the U.S. Department of Labor, and efficient use of taxpayer dollars with transas of December 2010, state and local government parency in budgeting and collective bargaining. employees received benefits that were 69 percent ALEC is for public employees having flexible, manhigher than those in the private sector. Taxpayer ageable and sustainable pension and health dollars are currently subsidizing the majority of plans. ALEC is proud to be the only state legislastate public employee pensions and benefits (9 tive organization that embraces the Jeffersonian states have defined-contribution plans). Defined- principles of limited government, free markets and contribution 401(k) style plans allow employees to federalism with the policy solutions to support contribute as much or as little as they want while these ideals. still receiving some support from the state. They also give employees the opportunity to invest in For a more in-depth ALEC statement, go to what’s best for them, and if public employees www.alec.org/thetruth. change jobs or relocate, their funds are portable. Sincerely, State legislators are entrusted with the enormous Ms. Raegan Weber, responsibility of appropriating citizens’ funds. Senior Director for public affairs at ALEC
We love letters. We also love corn. Send both to outlook 815 N High St Ste Q, Columbus, OH 43215.
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Tomato juice is the official state beverage of Ohio.
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Apple’s Censorship: Rotten to the Core
Soy Bioproducts Offer New Opportunities for Agriculture & Ohio Businesses
To the Editor:
To the Editor:
There was a time in the history of the homosexual movement when their demand was for “tolerance.” That time has passed. Now, homosexual activists have completely reversed themselves, and routinely demand an aggressive intolerance - for any viewpoints that disagree with theirs, that is. And what’s shocking is that in many cases, large organizations are bowing to such demands. The latest example is that (for the second time in four months) computer giant Apple has caved to pressure from homosexual activists and removed an application with pro-family content from its list of approved apps for the iPhone. Exodus International, a leading umbrella group for Christian ex-gay ministries that help people find “freedom from homosexuality,” had its app removed on the grounds that it was “offensive to large groups of people,” an Apple spokesman declared. This was despite the fact that it was originally given a “4+” rating from Apple, meaning that it contained no objectionable material.
and Apple’s quick capitulation to them - is that this document and organization, respectively, are notable not for the extremism of their rhetoric, but for the mildness of it. The Manhattan Declaration is a long, thoughtful, highly intellectual statement on important cultural issues. Yet, Change.org editor Michael Jones accused the Manhattan Declaration of reducing homosexuals to “little more than deviant cretins.” What it actually says is that “we respect them as human beings possessing profound, inherent, and equal dignity.” Yes, the Declaration says those who succumb to homosexual desires are “sinners;” but adds, “We, no less than they, are sinners who have fallen short of God’s intention for our lives.” And Exodus International has in recent years bent over backwards to express Christian love in their language and avoid exaggeration in their claims. Those attacking Exodus sarcastically referred to the “gay cure” app, language which was uncritically repeated by the mainstream media. Yet Exodus never uses the word “cure,” while their comments on “healing” are primarily spiritual in nature (“The key outcome [is] ... a growing capacity to turn away from temptations, [and] a reconciling of one’s identity with Jesus Christ.”).
In November, Apple took similar action against an app created by the Manhattan Declaration, which is a statement of conscience in defense of life, marriage, and religious freedom.
The attack on Exodus was led by Wayne Besen, founder of an organization he calls “Truth Wins Out.” Besen has only contempt for the many people who have overcome same-sex attractions and abandoned the homosexual lifestyle, and he seeks to deny In both cases, Apple was pressed to act people with unwanted same-sex attractions even the option of through campaigns mounted on the seeking change. Several years ago, he trespassed on private Change.org website, which helps to property at Boston’s Park Street Church (namely, the historic mobilize petition drives in support of cemetery in which Samuel Adams is buried) and yelled on a various liberal causes. bullhorn through the church windows in an effort to disrupt a pro-family conference on homosexuality called Love Won Out. He What is ironic (and chilling) is an odd one to be accusing anyone, as he did Exodus, of “malabout the attacks upon ice.” the Manhattan Declaration and Exodus Today’s politically correct America would have seemed like a paradise to the homosexual activists of a quarter century ago - but today’s activists have become frustrated with the pace of change. Since neither research, persuasion, nor politics have been effective in implementing the full homosexual agenda (which seeks unqualified celebration and subsidization of homosexual conduct in every realm of society), some in the homosexual movement have turned to brute force, using censorship to trample on freedom of speech and freedom of religion. Apple’s double standard here is particularly striking. While the Manhattan Declaration and Exodus are by no means the only apps that the company has dropped over the years, they still offer many others that are undoubtedly “offensive to large groups of people,” including “Grindr” (which facilitates “gay” male hookups) and half a dozen advertising “sex positions.” Supporting the natural definition of marriage as the union of male and female (as 45 of the 50 states do) is not “hate,” and supporting the personal freedom and autonomy of those who seek sexual orientation change “demonizes” no one. There can be legitimate debate about these issues - but Apple, as one of the gatekeepers of today’s information technology, should be doing everything it can to facilitate that debate, not stifle it. Peter Sprigg Senior Fellow for Policy Studies at the Family Research Council Washington, D.C.
As new uses for soy-based bioproducts continue to rise, consumers have more choices among environmentally friendly products and businesses have new market opportunities. A rapidly renewable ingredient by nature, soybeans often replace or reduce the reliance on petroleum-based materials that are used in the manufacturing of certain products. Soy-based bioproducts offer benefits that are comparable or superior to the petroleum-based products they replace, including: Performance: Many biobased products perform as well as or better than their non-bioproduct counterparts. Cost: Most bioproducts are comparable in price to most traditional products. Economic Impact: By increasing the use of bioproducts, bioproduct manufacturers and distributors will be able to expand and could create additional job opportunities – not only in the agriculture industry but also in other Ohio business sectors. Environmental Aspect: The increased purchase of bioproducts is expected to a) reduce consumption of imported petroleum; b) increase the use of renewable resources; and c) reduce adverse environmental and health impacts In Ohio, 2010 was a near record-setting soybean harvest. Statewide, the USDA reported a soybean harvest of 4.5 million acres and an average yield of 48 bushels per acre, or more than 220 million bushels. Nationally, the industrial use of soybean oil for purposes other than biodiesel production was expected to be between 1.15 billion and 1.35 billion pounds. The research and development of new products and materials made from soybeans is a priority for the Ohio Soybean Council, because of ongoing efforts to reduce our reliance on imported petroleum, the world is seeking environmentally friendly, renewable resources - and soybeans are a viable solution. Last year, the Ohio Soybean Council launched a consumer-friendly, interactive website (www.soyinside.org) that allows visitors to easily find soy-based bioproducts that can be incorporated into their homes and offices. Consumers can locate items such as soy-based paints and stains from Sherwin-Williams, La-Z-Boy™ recliners and furniture made with soy foam and environmentally friendly household cleaners. Nutek (http://www.nutekformulations.com), a Hoover Family Company in Cleveland, Ohio, features a number of soy-based multipurpose lubricants and cleaners that are safe to use around food, children and pets for cleaning, removing nuts and bolts and protecting surfaces from friction in aerosol spray cans and wipes. The soybean oil used in these products comes exclusively from Ohio soybean farmers throughout the state. “As Nutek continues to grow, the company’s use of soybean oil will increase accordingly,” said Cathy Horton, director of chemical solutions, Nutek. “Currently, we’re producing about 3 million 8-ounce cans a year. That’s a lot of soybeans.” As industries seek more renewable resources there will be increased percentages of soybeans used in new products. These values generated by bioproducts will not only benefit farmers, but will also support local economies, emerging technologies and new businesses. For more information and to locate soy bioproducts, visit www.soyinside.org. Sincerely, Kirk Merritt Executive Director, Ohio Soybean Council
Ohio’s apple growers produced an estimated 83.2 million pounds in 2010, a decrease of 32.3 million pounds from 2009.
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Columbus Women’s Chorus Brings Feminist Musical To King Ave The Columbus Women’s Chorus (www.cwchorus.org) presents two performances of The Web of Life, a musical and audiovisual celebration of women’s connection to the fabric arts, on Saturday April 30 at 8p and Sunday May 1 at 3p, at King Avenue United Methodist Church. The program includes serious and humorous songs in a variety of genres, about knitting, spinning, weaving, mill-working, shopping for clothes, dreams, drudgery, creativity, and the great web of life itself. We welcome special guests singer-songwriter Jamie Anderson (jamieanderson.com) and dancer-choreographer Meghan Western. There will be a silent auction and raffle of homemade quilts and other fabric artworks before the concert and during intermission. The Columbus Women’s Chorus (CWC) is a feminist chorus that celebrates life through the power of music. CMC performs music created and inspired by the lives and experiences of women from all walks of life. Founded in 1989, CWC is currently directed by Jennifer Bell and Sheena Phillips. CWC is grateful for grant funding from the Columbus Foundation and the Greater Columbus Arts Council. This year, the Chorus was accepted as a member of CoSMO (Community Shares of Mid-Ohio).
Cycle 4 Participants: Ryan Bauer, Terrence Brooks, Marcia Dixon, Kathleen Ellery, Kevin Gowins, Sean Hubert, Scott Kirschman, Kelvin LeGarde Jr, Merideth Lively, Robert Mason, Ellen Maxfield, Kevin McLain, Evan Robinson, Sonya Sheldon, Tim Valentine, Scott Winemiller, and Mackenzie Worrall.
of bills have been introduced in the Ohio House and Senate to improve Ohio’s anti-bullying and harassment laws. One of these, supported by Equality Ohio and a broad coalition of allies, would require school anti-bullying and harassment policies to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
The EHEA, which passed in the Ohio House during the last legislative session, will also be reintroduced in the House and Senate. The EHEA would add sexual orientation and gender identity On Saturday, May 14th, Wall Street Nightclub will proudly kick-off to the state’s civil rights legislation covering discrimination in its 4th annual weekend of fundraisers to help end breast cancer. the workplace, housing and public accommodation.
2011 “PINK!” Weekend: 4th Annual Benefit Line-up to Help End Breast Cancer
The weekend will begin with Hot Pink 2 A burlesque show presented by Viva Valezz! Burlesque Productions. Featuring some the best entertainers from Central Ohio, the Midwest & national entertainers from Los Angeles, Washington DC & Atlanta, Georgia. Cocktails & pre-show entertainment begins at 8p. Show begins at 9p. $10 admission.
The Comprehensive Safe Schools Act and the EHEA would be the first pro-equality bills passed in Ohio. But make no mistake, neither of these pro-equality laws will pass if we don’t work for them. Bring your story to the statehouse on May 18th to make a difference. Don’t be late! Register before May 13th to join the community on this important day.
Following the show (11p) is the weekend’s main dance event themed “PINK!” The circuit style dance party will include out2011 Columbus Pride Entrance Dog Tags and landish décor, female shadow box dancers, entertainment hotspots, themed drink specials (sponsored by UV Vodka), and an Wristbands Now on Sale energetic mix of dance music by resident DJ Michele Chaney. $10 admission. Get your Columbus Pride Entrance Dog Tags and Wristbands bePerformances of The Web of Life are Saturday, April 30, at 8p and fore they sell out. To celebrate 30 Years of Pride make sure to the Sunday, May 1 at 3p at King Avenue United Methodist Church Finally, on Sunday, May 15th they will cap off the weekend with a get the Limited Edition Brass Dog Tag available at The Center on (www.kingave.org), 299 Neil Ave, Columbus OH 43201. Tickets special Community Showcase Show. Hosted by local favorite, High (1160 N High St) or online at columbuspride.org for $10are $15, with sliding scale for those on low income. Free for 12 Mary Ann Brandt, the performances will range from female & $15. Pride Weekend is June 17-18, 2011. years and under. Tickets can be ordered online at www.cwchomale illusion to sketch comedy skits, stand-up comics, dancers rus.org or by calling Naomi Weinert, 614.565.0674. & more! Cocktails begin at 7p. & the show begins at 8p. $10 ad- Fieri Food Tour to Hit the Capitol Theatre mission. United Way Begins Cycle 4 of Pride Celebrity chef, restaurateur, best-selling author and TV personalProceeds from all $10.00 admission charges will benefit the Leadership Program ity Guy Fieri will once again bring his zest for life and unique culiSusan G. Komen Foundation. This series of fundraisers are 18 & nary style to venues across the U.S. Set to arrive at the Capitol over (with valid state-issued ID). To date, Wall Street Nightclub’s Theatre in Columbus on May 23, the Guy Fieri Food Tour preIn 2008, UWCO initiated Pride Leadership to increase volunteer series of PINK! weekends have raised over $12,000.00 for the opportunities for people in the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual & sented by the National Pork Board will mix the best elements of a Transgender) community. The program aligns with the UWCO or- Susan G. Komen Foundation. live cooking show, the fun of a variety revue, and the non-stop ganizational key principle of Commitment to Diversity and Incluadrenaline rush of a rock concert. Fieri will take center stage with Equality Ohio Lobby Day Wednesday May 18 an unscripted and wildly entertaining performance - complete sion. Currently, the program involves an intense eight-month training curriculum designed to prepare participants for effective with interactive cooking stations, secret tips and dishes from his service on a not-for-profit board or leadership position. The intent Join EO for Lobby Day on Wednesday, May 18. Registration for forthcoming cookbook (Guy Fieri Food, due May 3rd), as well as is to give people in the LGBT community a much-needed voice in Lobby Day closes May 13. behind-the-scenes stories from the road, and much more. community leadership particularly as the make-up and demoFor the last five years, hundreds of Ohioans have visited their graphics of our community continue to change. Tickets for the Guy Fieri Food Tour are $38.50 - $249 can be purelected officials to talk with them about equal rights for all chased at Ticketmaster.com, or charge-by-phone at The program consists of ten to twelve sessions that are two hours Ohioans regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity. 800.745.3000. A limited number of VIP tickets will be available in Mothers, fathers, families, clergy members, students – straight two package levels for the tour. The “Off Da Hook” Package inin length. The sessions are conducted during the business day. and gay, young and old - took a day off from school or work to Typical workshop sessions include: Organizational Planning, cludes: premium onstage seating; a chance to sample the food come to the Statehouse in Columbus for Lobby Day. This year the prepared by Fieri; tour laminate; a copy of Fieri’s upcoming book; Leading through Conflict, Fundraising and Resource Development, Fiscal Management, Parliamentary Procedures and Tech- focus will be on a Comprehensive Safe Schools Act and the Equal a pre-show meet and greet with Fieri (must be age 21 or older to nology. Class or Cycle size is 15 to 18 individuals per year. Each Housing and Employment Act (EHEA). purchase this package) and more. The “Kulinary Krew” Package participant pays a tuition cost of $500. Project applicants are seincludes: prime orchestra seating; tour laminate; a copy of Guy The Ohio Safe Schools Act was deeply flawed when it passed in lected by a group of volunteers representing the United Way of Fieri Food; a pre-show meet and greet with Fieri and more. Up2006, in part because it did not enumerate protections based on dated tour and ticketing information can be found at www.guyCentral Ohio and corporate sponsors. sexual orientation and gender identity. Already this year, a variety fieri.com.
Ok, so we don’t have an “official team this year, but if you want to walk with outlook gang we’ll give you a pick outlook T-shirt! Call Chris 614.268.8525x1
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Cows have four stomachs and can detect smells up to six miles away!
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ACLU Demands That Schools Stop Unconstitutional Web Filtering Of LGBT Content The American Civil Liberties Union, the ACLU of Michigan and the ACLU of Kansas and Western Missouri sent letters to public high schools last month demanding that the schools stop viewpoint-based censorship of web content geared toward the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) communities. The ACLU was notified that the schools were censoring material after teaming with Yale Law School to launch the “Don’t Filter Me” campaign, which asked students to check to see if their school was blocking content. Programs that block all LGBT content violate First Amendment rights to free speech, as well as the Equal Access Act, which requires equal access to school resources for all extracurricular clubs. This means that gay-straight alliances and LGBT support groups must have the same access to national organizational websites as other groups such as the Key Club and the chess club. Some schools have also improperly configured their web filters to block news items pertaining to LGBT issues and deny access to support groups that could be vital for troubled LGBT youth who either don’t have access to the Internet at home, or do not feel safe accessing such information on their home computers.
The Safe Schools Improvement Act, which is endorsed by the over 80 members of the GLSEN-led National Safe Schools Partnership, would require schools to implement comprehensive anti-bullying policies that include enumerated characteristics of students most often targeted, such as race, religion, sexual orientation and gender identity. The House introduction of the Safe Schools Improvement Act occurred on the same day that hundreds of thousands of students across the world participated in GLSEN’s Day of Silence. Students typically participate by taking some form of a vow of silence to raise awareness about antiLGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) name-calling, bullying and harassment.
In light of the Obama Administration’s decision to stop defending DOMA in federal court, the Senators urged: • The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) to hold marriage-based immigration petitions in abeyance pending a legislative repeal or a final determination on DOMA litigation. • DHS to exercise prosecutable discretion in commencing and prosecuting removal proceedings Nearly two-thirds of middle and high school stu- against married non-citizens that would be otherdents (65%) said they had been bullied in school wise eligible to adjust their status to lawful perin the past year, according to From Teasing to Tor- manent resident but for DOMA. ment: School Climate in America, a 2005 report • The Department of Justice to institute a moratofrom GLSEN and Harris Interactive that surveyed rium on orders of removal issued by the immigramore than 3,000 students. However, students at tion courts to married foreign nationals who would schools with a comprehensive anti-bullying policy be otherwise eligible to adjust their status to lawsimilar to the one required by the Safe Schools Im- ful permanent resident but for DOMA. provement Act were less likely than other students to report a serious harassment problem at their The Institute of Medicine Report school (33% vs. 44%). on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and No federal law or policy exists that requires schools Transgender Health to adopt policies to address bullying, and existing state laws vary greatly in their breadth and effec- At the request of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the Institute of Medicine conducted an imtiveness. portant study, on the state of the science regarding the health of lesbian, gay, bisexual and Kerry Leads Fight for LGBT Immitransgender (LGBT) people.
Some schools also block access to websites for LGBT rights organizations such as the GayStraight Alliance Network, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, and websites pertain- gration Equality, Sherrod Brown ing to the National Day of Silence to protest anti- Supports LGBT bullying. However, these filters sometimes allow access to sites that condemn homosexuality Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) led 11 colleagues, or urge LGBT people to try to change their sexual including OH Senator Sherrod Brown, in a letter to orientation, such as People Can Change. Attorney General Eric Holder and Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano urging immiA video showing students how to test whether or gration equality for legally married same-sex counot their school is illegally filtering content, and ples who are currently discriminated against provides instructions for reporting censorship can under the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). be seen here: www.aclu.org/lgbt-rights/dont-filterme. Students who want to report unconstitutional “We applaud the President’s decision to no longer web filtering at their schools can fill out a form at: defend the Defense of Marriage Act in federal action.aclu.org/dontfilterme. More information on court,” the Senators wrote. “With DOMA as law, the ACLU’s work on LGBT school issues can be however, we are creating a tier of second-class found here: www.aclu.org/safeschools families in states that have authorized same-sex marriage. The same second-class status is imGlsen Lauds Bipartisan Introduc- posed upon marriages between same-sex partners tion Of Safe Schools Improvement in which one spouse is not a U.S. citizen. We urge you to reconsider this position in light of the adAct In House ministration’s position that it will no longer defend DOMA in federal court.” GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, stands with a broad coalition of LGBT “Immigration Equality, and the families we repreand youth development organizations in celebrat- sent, are enormously grateful to Senator Kerry and ing April 15th’s introduction of the Safe Schools his colleagues for calling on the Administration to Improvement Act in the House by Rep. Linda keep our families together,” said Rachel B. Tiven, Sánchez (D-CA) and 70 bi-partisan cosponsors. executive director of Immigration Equality, a naThe act was introduced in the Senate on March 3, tional organization that works to end discrimina2011 by Sen Bob Casey (D-PA) and lead cosponsor tion in U.S. immigration law. “Unless USCIS Sen Mark Kirk (R-IL). changes course, real families will be impacted,
and American citizens will be separated from their loved ones. Maintaining the status quo for these families will mean forcing them apart, or into exile. We call on USCIS to heed the advice of Senator Kerry, and the other signatories on today’s letter, and allow these loving, committed couples to remain together.”
15 vote on April 14. The bill, which passed in its first attempt, now goes to Governor Markell for his signature. SB 30 will allow same-sex couples to enter into civil unions giving them all of the rights, benefits, and obligations of marriage under state law, but would not allow same-sex couples to obtain marriage licenses. Religious institutions may choose not to solemnize civil unions. Delaware will be the 8th state to offer civil unions or comprehensive domestic partnerships. After the bill is signed into law, it will take effect on Jan. 1, 2012. Currently, five states have laws providing an expansive form of state-level relationship recognition for gay and lesbian couples, without offering marriage. California, Nevada, New Jersey, Oregon, and Washington provide same-sex couples with access to almost of all the state level benefits and responsibilities of marriage, through either civil unions or domestic partnerships. Earlier this year, the governors of Hawaii and Illinois signed into law civil unions bills. Couples in Illinois can begin applying for civil union licenses on June 1, 2011 and in Hawaii couples can begin applying on Jan. 1, 2012.
AZ Governor Brewer Signs Discriminatory Adoption Bill into Law
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer and the Republican leadership in the state legislature passed and signed into law SB 1188, which gives preference to married couples in the adoption process – at the exclusion of same-sex couples and single The report provides the scientific community with adults who wish to provide a loving home to chilthe first comprehensive overview of health-related dren. The bill applies to public and private adoption agencies. research in this important area. It concludes by recommending that NIH develop and implement a At a time when far too many children are in need comprehensive research agenda to advance our knowledge and understanding of LGBT health, in- of a loving forever home, this new law limits the number of families available to them. Child welcluding demographic studies and inequities in health care, and the social contexts in which LGBT fare experts agree that adoptive parents should be judged by their character and their ability to raise people live. It also calls for federally funded surveys and electronic health records to collect data a child, not on their marital status or sexual orientation. It’s shameful that politics trumps the on sexual orientation and gender identity while protecting patient confidentiality. In addition, the needs of children. In Arizona, approximately onethird of qualified adults adopting from foster care report recommends enhanced training to strengthen LGBT health research at NIH, and asks are single parents. NIH to encourage grant applicants to address exThe Child Welfare League of America, the nation’s plicitly the inclusion or exclusion of sexual and oldest and largest child welfare organization, opgender minorities in their clinical studies. poses restrictions on adoption and believes that This report is an important step in identifying re- applicants should be assessed on their ability to search gaps and opportunities, as part of an over- parent a child, not on their marital status or sexual orientation. The North American Council on Adoptall effort to understand and address the health able Children opposes laws and legislation that needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender restrict the consideration of prospective foster and people. NIH looks forward to continue working to address these needs and reduce LGBT health dis- adoptive parents based on their sexual orientation. parities.”
Delaware House Passes Landmark A map detailing adoption laws across the country is available at www.hrc.org/documents/parentCivil Unions Bill ing_laws_maps.pdf.. The Delaware House passed civil unions by a 26 to
There are more than 60,000 dairy farms in America and the average herd size is 135 cows.
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A heifer is a female dairy cow that has not given birth to a calf.
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Lobby Day: Your Chance to Change Hearts and Minds by Ed Mullen
tions. Neither ultimately supported the bill, but I felt that they gained a better underI attended my first Equality Lobby Day in standing of the discrimination faced by the 2006. I traveled from Chicago to the Illinois LGBT community and it may have made capitol in Springfield to lobby on behalf of them think twice about supporting antia bill adding sexual orientation and gender equality legislation. identity to the state’s anti-discrimination law. At the time, the idea of going into a The experience also gave me an outlet for legislator’s office and talking about being the activism I carried within me, but had a gay man and my second-class legal and not yet found a way to express, and it consocial status seemed daunting. I was more nected me with a group of like-minded than happy to talk about issues affecting people. I had been a longtime supporter of other people I represented as a lawyer, but many LGBT groups, but always felt a bit exit felt somehow different to talk about iscluded, like they just wanted me to write a sues that affected me personally. I also check and go away. After Lobby Day, I dehad a hard time believing that my personal veloped strong relationships with my state story would make a difference. legislators and called them about issues from funding AIDS programs to environThe Lobby Day experience exceeded my ex- mental protection when something moved pectations. Equality Illinois provided train- me. I felt a much greater connection to my ing and background materials to make me government, and one of the State Reprefeel comfortable about the process and the sentatives I met on my first visit to the subject matter. I met with my State Senator Capitol later encouraged me to run for ofand State Representative, and both were fice. supportive. Of course, they represented Boystown in Chicago so they were very I strongly believe that my involvement aware of LGBT issues. I also got a chance made a difference on the anti-discriminato meet with the Republican legislators tion legislation, as well as on pro-equality representing the district where I was born, legislation introduced later. It also provided a district in the western area of the state a springboard for me to become more politthat was much more conservative than ically engaged and more active on behalf where I lived. These legislators were unof the LGBT community. committed at the time, but they listened to my story and asked very respectful quesAs I travel across Ohio speaking to differ-
ent groups - Stonewall Democrats, open and affirming churches, PFLAG, etc. - I hear stories like mine from many people. A father and his gay son in Cincinnati told me how lobbying on behalf of the Equal Housing and Employment Act in Columbus brought them closer together and opened the father’s eyes up to the discrimination faced by the LGBT community and his son. A transgender woman in Northeast Ohio told me that attending Lobby Day was one of the most self-affirming things she had been able to do. And, legislators with whom I meet repeatedly tell me how moved they have been by some of the personal stories told during Equality Ohio’s Lobby Day.
allies to unite and show our support for these bills. Lobby Day is the number one way to send a message to the statehouse that we demand passage of pro-equality legislation in Ohio. And with approximately 40 new legislators (out of 132), this is an extremely important time for our voice to be heard.
Equality Ohio envisions an Ohio that embraces equality, diversity and inclusion and where everyone feels at home regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. We envision a state where students don’t have to fear going to school because they will be bullied and harassed, where people can’t be fired or denied housing just beThis year, Equality Ohio hosts its annual cause they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or Lobby Day on Wednesday, May 18. As an or- transgender, and where the LGBT commuganization and community, we have nity does not have second class legal stachanged the hearts and minds of many of tus. We hope that everyone who shares this the legislators in the statehouse. The Equal vision of Ohio will be able to join us on Housing and Employment Act passed the Lobby Day this year. House in the last legislative session, the first pro-equality legislation to pass any To join us at Lobby Day or otherwise get inchamber of the Ohio General Assembly. volved, please sign up at www.equalityThis year, a version of that bill, as well as a ohio.org. comprehensive anti-bullying bill (which Ed Mullen is the Executive Director of Equality Ohio. will include cyber-bullying, training and year’s lobby day is Wednesday, May 18. Registraspecific enumeration of discrimination on This tion for the Lobby day closes on May 13. Training for the basis of sexual orientation and gender Lobby day in Columbus is May 14. To register or to identity), will be introduced in the General find other training days across the state go to www.equalityohio.org. Questions? Email Assembly. The only way for these bills to email@example.com or phone 614.224.0400. become law is for our community and our
91% of farms in Ohio are family farms. In 2003, Ohio had 77,600 farms.
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Newspapers publishers and 25% of all commercial printers in the U.S. use ink that contains soybean oil for color printing.
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The average dairy herd in Ohio is 83 cows.
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Sign TWO Petition in Support of J. Crew Pink Toenails Ad by Wayne Besen
people as confused heterosexuals who are different because their parents let them play with It was my senior year of high school and our the wrong toys as children or dressed them in basketball team was playing our rivals. As the “non-gender conforming” attire. Nothing could team’s captain, I knew I had to carry the team be further from the truth, but this hasn’t on my shoulders if we had a chance to win. De- stopped the right wing from trying to further spite my 25 points and 15 rebounds, we still lost stereotypes and misconceptions in an effort to to a team with superior talent. foster discrimination against LGBT people.
that only heteronormative children deserve to be celebrated. This is ridiculous - all children deserve to be celebrated, whatever color they choose to paint their toenails.
this situation and sexualize this innocent ad for political gain. In their zeal to recreate their mythical version of 1950’s America, they will no doubt savage J. Crew and flood the company with e-mails demanding that they dump the ad.
Additionally, FOX commentator Dr. Keith Albow chimed with this “brilliant” nugget of advice:
Let’s not let the voices of religious extremism and cultural rigidity be the only ones heard by J. “Yeah, well, it may be fun and games now, Crew. Please sign Truth Wins Out’s petition Following our defeat, our angry coach barreled The controversy in question occurred when the Jenna, but at least put some money aside for today thanking J. Crew for the company’s willinto the locker room and slammed the chalkclothing store J. Crew published an ad last psychotherapy for the kid - and maybe a little for ingness to publish this fine ad. Let this comboard. He then launched into a tirade where he month that featured the company’s president, others who’ll be affected by your ‘innocent’ pany know that their real customer base is not bellowed, “Everyone on this team played like Jenna Lyons, painting the toenails of her son pleasure.” closed-minded bigots, but forward-thinking profaggots…except for Wayne.” Although I was not Beckett. The text read: “Saturday with Jenna gressives who don’t agree with self-righteous out of the closet yet, I thought, “Coach, if every- Lucky for me, I ended up with a boy whose faDr. Jack Drescher, a respected New York City psy- scolds like Dr. Keith Albow. one would have played like fags, we would have vorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more chiatrist, disputed claims that toenail painting won the game.” fun in neon.” will influence a child’s sexuality. He says that In my view, J. Crew published a terrific ad that sexual orientation does not originate from super- showed real family values – not the contrived I tell this story to point out that sexual orienta- Needless to say, the wingnuts went ballistic and ficial outside influences like toenail polish. kind put forth by social conservatives. While extion and gender identity are about whom a per- attacked J. Crew for allegedly distorting gender tremists are taking the opportunity to dress son is deep inside - not a result of the clothes roles - which presumably will turn kids gay or “I can say with 100 percent certainty that a down this company, show your support by dressthey wear or the activities they participate in. I transgender. Erin Brown of the right-wing Media mother painting her children’s toe nails pink ing up in J. Crew clothes. It is time to fight back grew up playing basketball, football, and base- Research Center called the ad “blatant propa- does not cause transgenderism or homosexual- and stand up to irrational homophobic attacks ball. The entire time I was playing – and at ganda celebrating transgendered children.” ity or anything else that people who are social and “conservative correctness.” times excelling – I knew I was gay. conservatives would worry about,” Dr. Drescher Wayne Besen is founder of Truth Wins Out. To sign the petiNot only is Ms. Brown pandering to outmoded told ABC News. tion go to: http://www.change.org/petitions/thank-j-crewUnfortunately, anti-gay activists are exploiting a stereotypes about gender roles, gender identity for-its-heartwarming-pink-toenail-polish-ad or new controversy to portray gay and transgender and sexual orientation, but her implication is Clearly, anti-gay forces are gearing up to exploit Truthwinsout.org.
394 acres of farmland disappear every day in Ohio.
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It’s in the Sauce: Mike Hermick of Zapico Foods ruary of 2010, Zapico sauces are handmade in small batches here at OSU and then distributed via the Zapico website and some local and not-so-local retailers. The first products include pasta and barbeque sauces, balsamic dressings and other “east-coast style” gourmet sauces, all made and primarily sourced locally here in Columbus.
by Jon Dunn It seems that the pendulum is heading back to a ‘homemade-homegrown’ method of business here in Columbus, because there’s definitely been a swing towards local products being sourced and hand-crafted by local residents. The idea of artisan-style, gourmet quality foods are providing a popular environment for loc-avores and those wanting to feed them. New restaurant ideas from fine dining to fast casual, food trucks on the cutting edge of traditional and fusion dishes and some inspired entrepreneurs are finding their niches among the cityscape, giving diners an unprecedented range of foods to sample and buy. From ice cream to vodka to spaghetti sauce, Columbus is returning to its roots as a grower and producer for its people. Mike Hermick of Zapico Foods is a self-confessed “lifelong cook, foodie and party planner. I’ve always been a cook and entertainer,” and he’s bringing his family recipes beyond his circle of family and friends by establishing the Zapico Foods line of products. In production since Feb-
well, it’s growing faster every day and it’s getting the Zapico Foods project. tough to keep up – but that’s a good thing!” “We’re fighting the good fight here,”says Steve Currently, you can find Zapico products at both Fireman, president and general counsel for ECDI. local Whole Foods stores, The Greener Grocer in “It’s all about surrounding the entrepreneur with the North Market, The Hills Market, Clintonville the resources they need to be a success.” ECDI Community Market, Weinlands Market and Eu- provides training and micro loans to small ropa. You can also find it in several stores in “main street-style” businesses that commercial Pittsburgh and Cincinnati, and he’s trying to banks don’t usually find interesting. “For combreak into the larger chains, such as The Market- mercial loans under 100 thousand, banks don’t place. get too excited,” Steve offers. “ECDI is another option for entrepreneurs seeking funding. And “I do it all; no brokers, no distributors, just me,” right now we are seeing the demand for our servhe explains. Besides making sauce, Mike is al- ices going through the roof!” ways in a ‘product development mode’ and is looking to eventually enter the Zapico brand into Applicants are either referred by other entreprea line of frozen foods, such as stuffed shells and neurs (in Mike’s case, he was referred by Lessgnocchi. On May 1st, Mike is releasing three new ner), by the bank’s referral or they find their own sauces, a Hot Sicilian (spicy marinara), an Alway to the organization. They take the introducfredo and a meat sauce. As these are released, tory classes, are assigned a loan officer and he’ll be tinkering with a vodka crème and a complete the general application and a loan apHis passion for roasted pepper sauce to eventually add to the plication. The classes help flesh out business cooking was inlineup, as well. The rapid growth and popularity plans and work on issues such as accounting, spired by the classic of Zapico is keeping him busy, but he’s delighted legal counsel and marketing. After a loan is seItalian food prepared with the way his “pipe dream” has turned into a cured, the loan officer and ECDI stay in a support by his grandmother, reality. The dream always comes at a price, but role throughout the life of the loan. “Most of what Josephine Zapico, who Mike found one way to significantly reduce the we help with is developing a marketing plan is also the namesake for expense. after the launch of the business,” Steve explains. the company and it’s signature product, Zapico Foods doesn’t have a storefront or plant “ECDI is not afraid to help fund restaurants, Josephine’s Pasta Sauce. where the sauce is made, but they do have a while most banks are” says Mike. They walk you “Everything she did was place in which to produce. “I work out of OSU’s through the whole process, offer incredible adfrom scratch, her sauces Food Industry Center, which is part of the Food vice and the right amount of funding.” and pasta. We even picked the ingredients from Sciences school,” Mike explains. “It’s a large, her own garden.” fully-equipped commercial kitchen that can be “I’ve been in Columbus for 11 years; and it’s rented out as you need it, rather than having to such a great place to live. There’s so much to do Drawing on Jospehine’s knack for using her gar- rent a brick and mortar location. This way, I only and it’s a friendly town.” Despite not being a den to supply her kitchen, Mike takes it to the have to pay for the space as I need it, and it native of Columbus, Mike’s roots don’t lie very far next level by using all natural ingredients, many works out really well.” Mike says he located the to the east, as he was born and raised in suburb of which are locally-sourced, such as herbs from facility through the Ohio Department of Agricul- of Pittsburgh. Mike offers that the Steel City’s difarmer’s markets. The tomatoes, however, have ture. verse ethnic cultures often inspired a wide range both East Coast and West Coast profiles and he of flavors and ideas of what makes up comfort uses that to flavor the sauce naturally. “Actually, His idea of a business started with a gauntlet foods. His heritage also feeds his passion for they come from both Toledo and California, and laid down inadvertently by one of his friends. cooking and entertaining, just like Josephine, they each have a different taste,” he explains.”If “I’m always cooking and entertaining, and once whose kitchen was always open to guests and we used just one type of tomato, the sauce could during a party, someone said jokingly that I regulars alike. be either too acidic or too sweet; you need that should bottle this stuff!” Mike offers. With that, balance.” the idea of Zapico Foods began to take root. He currently lives in German Village and has called the neighborhood home for six years. Not The bottles Zapico use to bottle the sauces may To start the process, Mike began seeking advice strangely, his favorite pastimes are very similar have traveled from Pennsylvania, but filling for the journey from some local success stories. to his current efforts. them is a totally local effort. “I have friends who “I met with (local restaurateur) Liz Lessner and volunteer to help me fill all the bottles,” Mike she helped me to set up a group tasting at my “I like to cook and entertain,” he laughs.“I still says with a laugh. home with some influential people in the busiwork in medical sales, I’ve done that since 1999. ness,” he says, “Everyone came to my home, I also managed a fine-dining establishment here These bottles are starting to show up on some tasted the sauces and commented on them.” for a while, as well. But right now, I’m completely local retailer’s shelves, as well and Mike hopes The feedback proved useful for developing a devoted to the success of Zapico Foods. There’s that they’ll continue to find their way from the product line, so Mike began the next stage of de- a tradition I’d like to keep alive. ” shelf to local shopper’s tables. “Every week I velopment. “Liz also introduced me to ECDI (The For more on Zapico Foods, visit www.zapicofoods.com. To make two 50-gallon kettles of sauce to stock Economic and Commercial Development Instishelves,” he says, adding “sales are going pretty tute),” which proved instrumental in launching learn about ECDI, visit their website at www.ecdi.org.
If you missed the April’s Network, you missed a hell of a spread put on by Mike. Don’t miss his sauce! Zapicofoods.com
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Bang! Bang! Hey! Stop that! Bang!
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Sustainable Agriculture Organic, Diverse, and Local by Michael Daniels Want to know nearly everything there is to know about local, sustainable, organic agriculture? Look no further than right here in Columbus, at the Ohio Ecological Food & Farm Association (OEFFA). I had a chance to chat with its Executive Director, Dr. Carol Goland, about the organization and its goals. Michael Daniels: What is OEFFA in a nutshell? Carol Goland: Formed in 1979, the Ohio Ecological Food & Farm Association (OEFFA) is a grassroots coalition of nearly 3,000 farmers, backyard gardeners, consumers, retailers, educators, researchers, and others who share a desire to build a healthy food system that brings prosperity to family farmers, helps preserve farmland, offers food security for all Ohioans, and creates economic opportunities for our rural communities. OEFFA developed and began operating an organic certification program in 1981, and is currently one of the largest USDA-accredited certifying agents, last year certifying over 600 organic farms and processors. OEFFA provides education, advocacy, and grassroots organizing to promote local and organic food systems, helping farmers and consumers reconnect and together build a sustainable food system, one meal at a time. MD: What are the advantages to sourcing food locally for both grocery consumers and restaurateurs? CG: The number one advantage of buying food grown locally is that it is fresh – flavors will be at their peak, so the bottom line is: they taste better. But there are some other important advantages, ones that may be less obvious. For fruits and vegetables, buying locally grown food may help preserve crop biodiversity – that vast array of varieties of each and every crop that was planted a hundred years ago but not so much anymore. The reason is that the varieties of produce we get through conventional channels are chosen because they ship well and have a relatively long shelf life. In contrast, farmers who sell their products locally have the freedom to choose varieties because they taste good. That’s one reason why, when you go to the farmers market, you can see a mind-blowing variety of tomatoes and other produce! Buying locally grown food also allows you to support your neighbor, keep money in your community, and help protect farmland by making farming more profitable.
people, think of organic food simply as “food grown without chemicals.” That’s a good start, but it’s incomplete. In general, the national organic regulations allow the use of natural materials and prohibit the use of synthetics in food production. There are a few exceptions, however. Strychnine is natural, but it’s not allowed in organic production. Some synthetic materials are allowed but only after they’ve been carefully reviewed with respect to their effect on human health and on the farm ecosystem, their level of toxicity, availability of alternatives, probability of environmental contamination during manufacturing, use and disposal, and so on. So aspirin, though synthetic, is allowed to reduce inflammation in organic livestock, and newspaper, likewise not ‘natural,” can be used for mulch in production. Many people also know that organic production prohibits the use of genetically modified organisms. But less apparent, I think, to many consumers is that it’s not just about what you can or can’t use. Organic farmers are required to maintain or improve the condition of the soil, minimize soil erosion, promote biodiversity, and protect other natural resources such as air and water. The definition of organic agriculture used by the National Organic Standards Board makes this clear: “Organic agriculture is an ecological production management system that promotes and enhances biodiversity, biological cycles and soil biological activity. It is based on minimal use of off-farm inputs and on management practices that restore, maintain and enhance ecological harmony.” Organic farmers yearly must develop an organic system plan that shows how they are going to achieve this. That plan is reviewed by a USDA-accredited certifier (there are about 50 in the country) who determines whether or not the plan is in compliance with the rules of organic production. If so, then the certifier sends out a third party, independent inspector to verify that the information on the plan is accurate. The inspector may spend 4 to 6 hours on the farm. The inspector then writes a report to the certifier, who makes a final determination and issues an organic certificate. Or not. And the farmer has to do this every year. So what’s so special? First, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the label “organic” is the most highly verified eco-label out there. That reflects the grassroots origins of organics, which persists today, and how strongly the people involved with organics care about the integrity of the label. Organics is also, hands down, the gold standard of environmental stewardship for agricultural production. Looking at our own health, the average American is exposed to 10 to 13 pesticide residues each day from food, beverages, and drinking water. And while the levels are quite low in most cases, this isn’t always the case, and is of special concern during particularly vulnerable phases, such as during pregnancy and in the first years of life. Consuming organics is a special opportunity to protect our babies and children. Finally, there is mounting evidence that organic foods may be more nutritionally dense, which makes sense given the attention to building healthy soil.
MD: What’s so special about certified organic food? Is it really better for you than non-organic certified? Is it worth the cost differential? CG: I don’t think I’m in a position to tell anyone whether or not it’s “worth” the cost differential. That seems to me to be a personal decision for each individual. For myself, I’d rather spend my money on organic food for my family than for cable television or the latest fashions, but that’s about my values, and I’m not going to impose them on anyone else. I feel more comfortable answering your question about what’s spe- MD: Is the local and organic model viable in large metropolitan cial about certified organic and what it’s benefits are. I think most areas? Can available farmland, using organic and alternative
Soil management/conservation was developed in Ohio.
methods of raising food (both vegetable and livestock) meet the demand, or is some factory/large-scale farming necessary? CG: Viable? Absolutely. In fact, I think Ohio is perfectly positioned for this development. We have more metropolitan areas than any other state in the country. Each one of those is surrounded by productive farmland. This is the perfect geography for developing a locally-based food system. And as far as organics goes, there’s no reason why it can’t be a viable way of feeding our urban populations. In fact, I would argue it’s the only way, given that the alternative, with all the environmental degradation, reliance on fossil fuels, and human health impacts, simply is not sustainable. Organic yields are often – though not always – equivalent to those of conventional production systems. And if our research institutions and federal agencies would devote more research attention to organic production (right now funding of organic research is less than 1% of all agricultural research), there’s no telling what organics could achieve. I don’t think that scale necessarily has to be the defining characteristic here – “large scale” is not, inherently, a good or bad thing. Rather, we need to be making choices based on what kind of system is capable of producing food that is best for the environment, for farm animals, for our communities, and for the people who consume its products. MD: What legislation is pending (in Ohio and/or nationally) that OEFFA is following closely and what would be the impact? What legislation, if any, do you plan to propose in the near future? CG: Right now, we’re gearing up for the Farm Bill: every 5 years Congress write a new Farm Bill, which really ought to be called the “Food Bill,” because what gets written there ends up determining, to a surprising extent, what our food choices are. I can’t overstate what its impact is. There aren’t that many farmers in our country and there are even fewer that are producing for local markets using ecological and organic methods. So everyone needs to get involved with that process to ensure that we get policies that promote rather than hinder sustainable family farms and consumer choice. MD: How can our readers learn more about OEFFA? What resources, programs, and memberships do you offer? CG: I encourage all your readers to check out our website (www.oeffa.org) and follow us on Facebook (www.oeffa.org/facebook) and Twitter (twitter.com/oeffa). We have individual and family membership, as well as discounted student memberships. The benefits of membership include a subscription to the information-packed newsletter (published quarterly), voting privileges in the organization, networking opportunities, access to our apprenticeship program, our local food guide: the Good Earth Guide to Ecological Farms and Gardens, invitations to OEFFA’s educational workshops, summer farm tours, and discounted admission to our annual conference and other educational events. OEFFA has chapters around the state that get together to support each other and collaborate on various projects. Our Capital Chapter, based in Franklin County, is very active and comprised of some really great folks.
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Shortly after this pic, the guy fell backward out of his chair. Tees flooring held up, the guys head didnâ€™t.
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Food as a Path to Healing by Regina Sewell
Fast forward a decade and a half and I’ve read dozens of books about food and body image is“Our relationship to food is an exact microcosm sues. I’ve written columns and facilitated workof our relationship to life itself. I believe we are shops on the subject. I assumed that I pretty walking, talking expressions of our deepest con- much understood the issues and the solutions victions; everything we believe about love, fear, inside and out. And then I picked up a copy of transformation and God is revealed in how, when Women, Food and God was totally blown away. and what we eat. When we inhale Reese’s Geneen has long preached the message that peanut butter cups when we are not hungry, we transforming your relationship with food and your are acting out an entire world of hope or hopebody will transform your life. In Women, Food and lessness, of faith or doubt, of love or fear.” God, she goes on to explain how our patterns of Geneen Roth – Women, Food and God eating (or not eating) reveal our core beliefs about life – what we believe about “feeling, sufI discovered Geneen Roth because of my cat, fering, receiving, nourishing, abundance, resting, Donovan. After my partner and I brought home a having enough.” But this book isn’t just about new kitten, she’d packed on a few extra pounds. food. It applies to all of our obsessions – working, My partner and I joked that she was eating to drinking, taking drugs, gambling, shopping, soothe the pain of having to share our affection. having sex, surfing the internet, compulsively When I saw Geneen Roth’s book When Food is working out, looking for a partner on an online Love in a box of books to be given away, I had to dating site, and any other thing we can think to bring it home. I sat with Donovan on the floor focus on that will take us out of the present monext to her food bowl and showed her the book. I ment. petted her while she ate and promised her that we still loved her as much as ever. I tried to con- According to Geneen, Our food choices (and other vince her that she didn’t need to seek solace in means of escape) expose the extent to which we food. do or don’t feel: safe, connected to something greater than ourselves, and/or trust in God (or I never opened the book. I was a feminist. I knew the Universe, or some sort of higher power) to that social pressure to look like a super model give us what we need. The point is that most of kept women down. I had dedicated my life to us use food (or shopping, or alcohol, or drugs, or challenging this system. Still, I secretly struggled work, or obsessing about our health or sex or rewith food and body image issues. I was afraid lationships or…) to avoid our feelings. And anythat reading When Food is Love would signal to time we eat (or use another escape route like the the world that I was a fraud. ones listed above) to avoid our feelings, we are saying, “If I feel these feelings I’ll die. I have to It was only when a friend told me about a differ- numb myself.” Or, “I’m powerless to change this ent Geneen Roth book, Feeding the Hungry Heart, situation. The only thing I can do is check out.” that I had the courage to admit that I was in the Or, “I’m broken and worthless, so I might as well same boat as most of the women in the United check out.” Or, “Eating (or shopping or gamStates. Geneen’s examples, both from her own bling…) is the only way I ever feel loved, deservlife and from the lives of people who’d particiing, or adored.” pated in her workshops, helped me normalize my own relationship with food and with my body. She The feelings we are running from now are rooted helped me see that the real issues had nothing in experiences we had in the past. They are kept to do with how I looked or what I ate. These were alive by the stories we tell ourselves based on the just ways I’d found to escape from the critical relationships of yesteryear. When we feel mortivoice in my head and the painful feelings that fied about yet another break up or financial criwelled up inside me. She also pointed me to the sis, the roots of the intensity of this shame lie in path of self-acceptance I’ve been on ever since. our early relationships and experiences. It’s as if
we slip back in time to the point where the entire third grade class rejected us, or earlier, when we learned to read the implicit memo from our parents that said, “You will never, ever be good enough.” As young children, we learned to bolt from our painful feelings because we had little or no control over our situation. We needed someone to hold us, love us and feed us so that we could live. Over the years, we got so good at bolting that we didn’t notice that we are no longer completely vulnerable.
through the pain of your volatile emotions to a place of peace. If you sit with your desire to eat a bag of potato chips when you’re not hungry, you can catch a glimpse of the feeling that you’re running from. And if you sit with that feeling and just observe it, without judgment, as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world, you will see that it shifts and eventually dissipates.
If challenging your beliefs and facing your feelings seems overwhelming, fear not. Geneen lays out a framework to help you work through these Our obsessions about food, our body image and challenges. Perhaps most importantly, Geneen everything else give us something besides this reminds readers, over and over, that we are not deep-seated pain to focus on. Ironically, the very our thighs or the chocolate cake we ate or denied same obsessions and compulsions that get us in ourselves the pleasure of eating. We are not the trouble and help us disconnect from our selves person the critical voices in our heads say we can also help us connect to our authentic selves. are. We are not our obsessions. We are something If we listen to them, rather than get lost in them, more, something better, something lovely. She rethey will help us debunk the critical stories we assures us that beneath the critical voice that tell ourselves and heal our emotional wounds. beats us up every chance it gets, beneath messages we got as children, beneath the horrific exIf, instead of following the impulse to dig into a periences we had, beneath the horrible things pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, you take the we’ve done or said to ourselves and to others, bedesire as a cue to listen to the thoughts that are neath all the brokenness, self-hatred and fear, pinging around in your brain, you might hear a there is a core self, a self that has never been critical voice screaming horrible things like, “You broken. And she shows us how to connect to that are such a spoiled brat! Who do you think you part of ourselves so that we can find the peace are?” or “You are a total failure. You’ll never and amazing sense of being alive. make anything of yourself. You don’t deserve to be loved.” or “No wonder you’re still single (or in Finally, at the end of the book, Geneen includes a bad relationship), look at you…” When you seven clear, simple, gentle guidelines for eating tune out the thoughts with Cherry Garcia ice that will help you taste, experience and enjoy the cream, you accept them as true. If, on the other food you put on your plate. If you think of your hand, you listen to them from an objective perscale, your mirror, or food as the enemy or strugspective, you can deflate these vicious, critical gle with obsessions or compulsions of any kind, thoughts. Are you really a spoiled brat? Does a Women, Food and God will lead you to freedom reasonable person not have a right to want to be and help you transform your self-hatred into selftreated with respect and dignity? Are you really a love. failure? What about the fact that the stray cat in To ask Regina a question, propose a column topic, read the neighborhood depends on you for affection about her approach to counseling, or check out her books and kibbles? What about the fact that you and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com You can learned to tie your shoes? What about the fact read her blogs at www.ReginaSewell.Wordpress.com, that you learned to navigate the complexities of http://visionscounseling.wordpress.com, and http://possumyour HD TV or figured out how to use your iPhone? crossing.wordpress.com. Her most recent publication, “Sliding Away” can be found in Knowing Pains: Women on Love, Don’t these accomplishments count for someSex and Work in Our 40s, edited by Molly Rosen. thing? Obsessions and compulsions can also lead you
Did You Know...That 1 in 6 Ohioans has an agriculture-related job?
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Eight wines from three Ohio wineries have received prestigious awards.
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by Mario Pinardi I love to stuff my holes! Whether it’s my ass or my mouth, there is always gratification. Fortunately, for you, I will be focusing on oral delights only, and the gratification from those delights. I will always believe a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach (and the path to the brain is through his cock). What man (or woman) does not love a good cook or a good meal? And, who does not love good fresh food? Unfortunately for many gays, food festers fear. Food equals weight gain, and weight gain equals not marketable, in the “shaggable” sense. Columbia University did a study on the connection between eating disorders and gays. According to the study, more than 15 percent of gay or bisexual men had at some time suffered anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorder, or at least certain symptoms of those disorders, compared with less than five percent of heterosexual men. In contrast, sexual orientation did not seem to influence the risk of eating disorder symptoms among women. Just below 10 percent of lesbian and bisexual women and eight percent of heterosexual women had ever reported having an eating disorder. I find it interesting that these statistics still are relevant with the increased visibility of openly gay chefs and farmers – both providing food and sustenance. Reality (or some version of it) TV has given a forum for gay chefs and farmers. These homo honeys condone eating – what a concept! The idea of gays eating only Wheat Thins and TicTacs with vodka for meals is becoming ludicrous, and is utter bullshit. And, fitness food is not as trendy as it used to be either. Yes, muscle boys, your whey protein is not hot anymore, and it makes your ass and your “love juice” stink, which is so not hot either. Chefs like Cat Cora, Jesse Brune, Josie Smith-Malave, Dale Levitski, and Dave Martin are all out gay chefs that have appeared on the Food Network or on Bravo TV. There are many gay chefs out there, and the Food Network and Bravo TV gave openly gay culinary artists a public forum to create and to show that real food is a positive thing. And, as for the farmers, who does not know about the Beekman Boys? Josh Kilmer-Purcell and Brent Ridge left their uber-gay metropolitan lifestyle to become farmers. They have successfully produced a line of products made with goat’s milk, including cheese and other provisions, and on their Planet Green channel show, they share a lot of seasonal recipes that any one can create. This gay green duo has given mainstream America a show that does not involve any type of stereotypical gay behavior (or techno music) and that portrays a gay relationship between two men that does not involve crisis. After watching this show, I even felt inspired to make goat milk cheese, instead of “man milk.” Speaking of “green food,” we, the gays, have taken this trend and ran with it! Many of the national organic grocery chains have set up in our major gayborhoods in the last seven years. Whole Foods, Fresh & Easy (I love that one), and Trader Joe’s all have stores in gayborhoods. I feel that this is because we will spend more for good food that is good for our bodies and our environment. So, instead of cruising for a piece of ass at the gym, you can now head to the grocery store for some rump roast and then some. Also, the open-air market trend has become a fixture in the gayborhoods. We have the North Market here, and other cities have similar markets. 20 years ago, who would have thought that the gays would be shopping for food at a farmer’s market or at an organic store? Eating and eating well has probably become the most productive trend we have grasped on to. As a self-professed foodie and growing up Italian, food is about love for me. When we create tasty dishes, we add a little of ourselves to it. Food is personal and very intimate and it took many years for this to resonate with gays. Svelte and emaciated were the “looks du jour” for quite a long time and gay bars would only serve the bare minimum for food. Then, in the last 10 years, gay bar owners started to add hearty and tasty dishes to their repertoire. Rack of lamb served in a gay bar? What a surprise! Food and the dining experience have become more prevalent in the gay community, and the long lasting gay discos are becoming just dessert. Before you decide to not eat or to eat poorly, think about giving yourself a big food hug from your favorite gay bar/restaurant, ask a friend to join you (or find a new friend while you are there). The more you begin to accept who you are, the easier it is to put good things into your body. And, remember to never be a victim, but always be a survivor. Note to self: never eat Mexican when Hubby wants to “knock boots.” Ick.
Food is Love, Gays… Eat it Up!
Is a hamburger a hamburger when served on a bun? Or is it a hamburger when served between two slices of bread? Discuss.
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Not only is this the 30th Columbus Pride Holiday, itâ€™s also the 30th anniversary of the first identified case of HIV/AIDS. Get tested.
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Ohio leads the U.S. in the production of Swiss cheese and is second in the production of eggs, producing 7.6 billion in 2003.
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Breakfast in Bed by Mette Bach
everything. The hand-crafted ceramic bowls steam and spicy. Delicious.” I say. our faces. Pam has to take off her glasses and wipe All this happened, more or less. The bacon part, at them with her napkin. She laughs at herself while “Mmmm. Sweet and spicy,” Pam repeats. any rate, is true. The names have been changed. she does this. “Or,” I say, “Dark chocolate and orange. Mmmm. Pam and I met up at Santouki, a new Ramen place Then she gestures to the plates that accompany Rich and citrusy.” on Robson Street, not far from where I live and even our soup, plates heaped with corn, sprouts, nori, closer to where she lives. It was a cold Tuesday af- green onions and thin slices of meat. “White chocolate and lemon,” she counters. “Light ternoon and she came in, tossed her coat over her and fresh.” chair, rubbed her hands together and sat down. “It’s pork cheek,” Pam explains, rubbing her own cheek. “It’s the softest, juiciest, tenderest meat you “Okay, I got one, I got one,” I say, “Sex followed by “I’m glad you could see me,” she said, “I’ve been can get. And you know how I feel about pork.” She leftovers.” wondering what’s new.” winks. This is key. Pam and I move in and out of how we used to be, the ease of our communication “Yes!” That’s the thing about exes who become friends: when we were together, the flirtatious tellings that we do wonder what’s new. So I told her I’d started indicate how much we really do know about each It’s no wonder that I gain weight when I fall in love. dating again. other. Sitting across from Pam, I can’t help but think about how much of our courtship revolved around “Oooh,” she said excitedly, welcoming the infor- “Yes,” I confirm, “I know how you feel about soft a shared love of food. Sex was never just sex. It was mation. She asked further, I told more. There was a meat. Much the same as you feel about shiny an appetizer to dim sum or papaya salad or sushi. series of silent nods. things.” Where other couples cuddled, Pam and I got take As we ordered soup, I thought about how much I out. still love Pam - the way she lets me move on, the “Oh my god. Speaking of shiny, I have to tell you way she moves on, too. When I met Danielle, her something,” she says. Conversation subsides to soup, as we enjoy each new girlfriend, now girlfriend of many years, I knew bite of tender pork cheek. Pam suddenly says, “I’ve right away that those two were right for each other. “Yes?” got the combination to end all combinations.” Danielle had all the offerings I didn’t and yet I didn’t feel sad about that, I felt happy for Pam that “I got Danielle this lotion with shimmer in it and “Lay it on me.” she met someone who wanted the same things she she puts it on her cleavage for me. It’s incredible.” did, someone who liked the same stuff. “Last Saturday, I made breakfast for Danielle.” “Whoa,” I say, imagining. Danielle has some of the My friendship with Pam matters more and more to most incredible cleavage I’ve seen. I imagine her “Yeah, yeah?” me and has become a kind of measuring stick breasts glistening with glitter and even though I’m against which I evaluate future lovers. Will we be not the breast person that Pam is, I am in awe. “I made eggs, bacon, and toast,” she begins. able to be friends the way Pam and I are, I wonder. “Combining your love of shiny things with your love If not, I’m not interested. What is it about lesbian of boobies,” I say. “Mmmmm… bacon.” I interrupt. relationships that makes us want to cling to the core of them long after their moment in linear time She nods gleefully, like a little schoolboy who has “Exactly,” she winks. “So anyway, I bring her breakhas passed? With Pam, the essence of our con- just been told he can have a puppy. Naturally, this fast in bed. So then we’re lying there eating our nection has remained the same, surviving our petty makes me want to tease her. breakfast, talking about how awesome life is. The misunderstandings. dog is there, the cat is happy. Everything is per“I love it when things I love come together. Take this fect.” Our ramen soup arrives and we pause to examine soup, for instance. It’s the perfect balance of sweet outlookcolumbus.com
“Yeah?” “So then we finish eating and decide to watch a movie. So I take all the plates and everything back down to the kitchen and bring up more coffee and we cuddle up to watch this movie and enjoy this perfect Saturday.” “Yeah, yeah?” “And then, about ten minutes into the film, Danielle adjusts herself and out of the corner of my eye, I see her reach down into shirt. And from between her breasts she pulls out a piece of bacon and eats it.” “Wow.” “Yeah. So of course I got all mad and sulky. And Danielle looked at me and said, ‘I’m sorry. Was that gross?’ But that wasn’t it at all. I was mad because she didn’t let me get it for her.” I laughed and laughed. “Bacon and boobies. You are so blessed.” “Almost. I was almost blessed.” “You poor tortured soul, you.” “Just imagine. Salty, juicy yumminess,” Pam shook her head like she’d missed the golden opportunity. “Are you describing the bacon or Danielle’s breasts?” “Both!” Mette Bach is the author of Off The Highway. She got the first line of this story from Kurt Vonnegut Jr. but changed the war stuff to bacon and believes that, on some level, Vonnegut would appreciate that.
The above bra is made out of bacon. If you get a chance, have the bacon appetizer at The Jury Room. It is finger licking good, like that bra...
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It's still possible to see cowboys riding on horseback driving cattle in Eastern and Southern Ohio.
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Farm Boys Aaron and Josh Kreais of Ohio Family Farms by Michael Daniels
infrastructure maintenance and finances in the winter or when the weather’s not good.” Otherwise, they’re out in the fields.
When most people think of gay, they think urban, big city, and nightlife. Sure, we all know that young gay boys are born way out there on the farms and in small-town Ohio, but they don’t stay there, do they? I mean, c’mon, doesn’t everyone remember the WWI song classic?
About 50% of their 7,500 acres is planted in corn and the other 50% in soybeans. “By fall, there’ll be about a million bushels of grain put up in our bins,” Aaron says proudly. To put this in perspective for us city-folk, 7,500 acres is about 12 square miles. That’s about 6,800 football fields. Or 3,400 city blocks. Or the How ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm / After they’ve seen combined area of ZIP codes 43215, 43201, 43210 and 43206. Paree’ Imagine plowing, planting, caring for, and harvesting a farm the How ya gonna keep ‘em away from Broadway / Jazzin around and size of German Village, the Arena District, Downtown, the Short paintin’ the town North, Victorian Village, Italian Village, and Campus – combined. How ya gonna keep ‘em away from harm / That’s a mystery With a full time staff of 4, plus seasonal help. They’ll never want to see a rake or plow / And who the deuce can parleyvous a cow? Aaron’s a busy man – but he’s not so busy that he doesn’t have How ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm / After they’ve seen time to be out, proud, married, a DADT activist, and soon-to-be Paree’ father. For Aaron Kreais, it wasn’t so much a matter of staying on the farm, but returning to it. Aaron was born and raised on his family’s farm near Upper Sandusky. His grandfather started the farm, which Aaron now owns and operates with his uncle and two cousins.
Aaron met his husband, Josh, at Pride 2006. Shortly after, Josh enlisted in the military, serving as a combat medic in the Army and did a full term in Iraq. During that tour, a “disgruntled military spouse” outed Josh and the Army began discharge proceedings against him under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
“I grew up here,” Aaron says in his reserved, almost shy, speaking voice. “I couldn’t wait to get to college, and I went to Ohio State and got my degree in finance [in the class of 2002]. But in 2001 I ended up back here on the farm, and I can’t imagine doing anything else.”
“The discharge process took forever,” Aaron says. In fact, the Army put the discharge process on hold, sent Josh back to Iraq for a second tour, and upon his return from that, discharged him formally in 2009.
And there’s plenty to do. The farm is no small operation, and the Ohio Family Farm crew does it all. “We don’t really have downtime,” Aaron grins. “There’s always something to build or repair. We put up all of our own grain bins and do all of our own mill work. We get caught up on things like
out up here. It wasn’t a big deal. People knew me, so I wasn’t a stranger, and even though I was initially scared, nothing bad has ever happened.” “I think also the people of Upper were a little accustomed to gay men,” Aaron muses. “There was a very out, notoriously gay hairdresser in town, and everyone knew him and liked him. He paved the way for it to be OK to be gay.” And the boys aren’t just openly gay; they’re married, thanks to the good folks in Toronto. “And we’ll be married a while,” Aaron laughs, adding that “You can get married in Canada just by going up there, but if you want to get divorced, one of you has to live up there for 12 months before you can file. I can’t take that kind of time off from the farm.” There aren’t any gay bars in Upper Sandusky, so the boys trek to Columbus every couple of months or so to go out, but mostly it’s just friends over at their home for dinner, wine, and to hang out. “We’ve just redone the house,” Aaron says, “and it’s become entertainment central. Josh is a great cook, and we enjoy good wine with good friends.” Their lives are about to change again in a major way. Aaron proudly told me that he and Josh are set to become parents through the services of a surrogate, and they hope the pregnancy to begin in May. That means by next February, there could be a little Kreais, and Josh is planning to be the stay at home parent while Aaron tends the farm.
Josh and Aaron are understandably active in DADT repeal efforts, including GetEQUAL in Ohio, and Congressman Tim Ryan (DHaving had a chance to get to know Aaron and Josh, I know OH17) highlighted Josh’s case in particular during Congressional that’s going to be one very lucky and happy child, who will grow DADT repeal hearings. up with two incredible dads, down on the farm – with just a touch of Gay Paree’. The Kreais boys are out in Upper Sandusky, which is “strangely gay friendly,” says Aaron. “I didn’t really have any issues coming
Have you ever tried to walk in a field? It ain’t easy. Michael, however, is.
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Orchard House: The Best of Country Life, City Life, the Good Life, and Llamas nice people that have stayed with us. Our first guests even brought us a grand opening gift! Andrew and I have both had lots Green acres is the place for me. Our house in Maryland had reached its capacity with rabbits, of experiences, though his might be a bit more…eclectic…than Farm livin’ is the life for me. dogs, cats, and chickens, so, ultimately, there would have been no mine, though I certainly have some interesting tales from the goat Land spreadin’ out so far and wide room for llamas. Now we have four. Now we have a small fridge farm growing up: “I’ll give you a nickel if you eat this cheese,” my Keep DC, just give me that countryside. that makes us intentionally have to by fresh produce every few Dad would say. I can’t eat goat cheese to this day! Travel, reality days. I learned that trick in London. The English are so smart. We television, post-modern constructions of online identities, or makOK, I modified the lyrics a bit, changing “Manhattan” to “DC.” It don’t have any crazy commutes, we enjoy clean air, and our sub- ing jam, we can pretty much cover the gamut. was a necessary move so I could tell the tale of two Capitol Hill urban chickens have started putting matchbox cars outside their socialites who left the Big City and set up housekeeping in coop. MW: How have the neighbors reacted to your presence since Granville, a half-hour from Cowtown. They did not just build a your arrival last August? home, however. They set up a farm and a Bed & Breakfast called Don Jones: Its true I had been hearing of Andrew’s yearning for the AK: We couldn’t have asked for a warmer reception from our Orchard House. country for a while. He had talked of getting a farm & B&B while neighbors. In fact, some have become our closest friends in we were still in the DC area, but that would have just meant a Granville. I like to think we bring something special to the comDon Jones and Andrew Kohn moved to Ohio last August. Since very expensive place and a much longer commute for me, so I had munity. While every town in our nation has an LGBT presence, we that time, they have been busy with many projects: furnishing said to defer, defer, defer. are proud to be the only LGBT owned bed & breakfast in Granville, rooms for the B&B, creating a classy website for it (www.orchardand will continue to find ways to help our neighbors, as all active housegranville.com), working with local businesses in the area, The moment when this whole thing was set in motion was while I members of a community should do. I’m sure there are people in and getting to know their neighbors. The result: an establishment was sitting with Andrew at Level in the Short North, remembering Granville who disapprove of our sexuality, but we will continue to with an eye toward beauty, sustainability, comfort and the basics how much I loved Columbus when I lived here 13 years ago and live as a proud, out couple. We can do no less. of farm life for those who want to experience the flavor of country plugging in the figures on a cost of living calculator on my living. iPhone…shocking. I had tired of my commute from Maryland to DJ: I agree that we have only felt welcomed since coming to Virginia every day, and knew I could do my work from anywhere in Granville. Everyone I have met, from church to the checkout at the In addition, Andrew runs a blog about his new life with the follow- this day and age, and what better way to not have to commute grocery store are gracious and friendly. Honestly, no one has bating entries: than to require a plane to do so? I also wanted to be closer to my ted an eye at us being an openly gay couple. While I wouldn’t be folks and family in Cincinnati- but not too close! We both just felt holding hands down the street, I think Granville is a very welcom“I was strangled by a llama today.” this crazy move would be right for us, so here we are. ing place for gay people. Denison even has a queer studies pro“Head-butting. And other favorite pastimes.” gram! “We’re getting an elephant!” MW: With your background in llamas, chickens, ducks, sheep, dogs, Madagascar, DC politics and LGBT activism, it seems that MW: Don, Ohio is home to you, and you seem happy to have reFor the conversations alone, I want to visit the Orchard House. But the real draw of your B&B is the two of you. Is this true? turned. What has changed? Andrew, how are you adjusting to there are other attractions. Don and Andrew have created some- AK: We do live interesting lives! Remind me to tell you about the life as a Buckeye? thing akin to a queer version of the Amish, if the Amish did blogs, time a chimpanzee spit in my mouth. Or maybe the time I was al- Don: I must say I was happy to return to Ohio as a blue state when enjoyed the occasional evening in the Short North, and welcomed most strangled by a llama. Or maybe how I was sent to Madagas- I came back, so I was disappointed with the last election. Ah well, LGBT guests into their extended home. car during law school but didn’t speak a word of French. We there’s always 2012! In terms of Columbus, there are certainly certainly have had our share of experiences. And every day a new many more buildings on campus, and the continual growth of the Speaking of conversations, the men have graciously answered a story is born. Every night, gathered around our dining room table, High Street corridor is great. It’s amazing to see places like Union few questions for us. Fascinating guys, the both of them. with a glass of Pinot, we love to hear our guests’ experiences. And still around- I remember when it first opened- and that they posit’s amazing how many times we find we have something in com- sess the kind of relaxed feel that you just don’t find in DC very Mickey Weems: Whose idea was it? mon. often. Having been spoiled with the fantastic restaurants in DC, Andrew Kohn: We moved from DC to Granville because of me. I I’ve been impressed with what seems to be an emerging food needed the country. I needed it simpler. Or, at least, calmer! As DJ: As Andrew mentioned, one thing we offer for our guests is a scene in Columbus. I’ve learned, gossip in a small town can be as fierce as any com- nightly wine and cheese. We’ve really enjoyed the variety of very continued on pg 35
by Mickey Weems
petition in the White House.
The hills of Ohio's eastern and southern regions are blanketed in hardwood forests.
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Do ‘real men’ still wear pink?
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and 3 more…
11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 7:00 PM Karaoke @ Club Diversity
John F. Kennedy's Birthday
GrillMasters Festival @ North Market
Feast of the Flowe…n @ Chillicothe, OH
Velvet Ice Cream Festival @ Utica, OH
Walleye Festival @ Port Clinton
Moonshine Festival @ New Straitsville, OH
11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 12:00 PM Dinosaurs: Explore, Escape, Survive@ COSI 7:00 PM Karaoke @ Club Diversity 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana
Ohio Heritage Festival @ Hicksville, OH
Southern Ohio Ra…lley @ Albany, OH
11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 4:00 PM Taco Truck Tour @ Wonder! land 7:00 PM Karaoke @ Club Diversity 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana
2011 PINK! Weekend @ Wall Street
8:00 AM Central Ohio Folk Festival @ Battelle-Darby Creek Metro Park 9:00 AM BNI Group One-to-Ones @ 11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 7:00 PM Karaoke @ Club Diversity 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana
Wild Turkey Festival @ McArthur, Ohio
and 5 more…
10:00 AM Blooms & Butterflies @ … Karaoke @ Club Diversity 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D
11:00 AM Hot Shop@ Franklin Park Conservatory … Karaoke @ Club Diversity 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL
… Karaoke @ Club Diversity 12:00 PM Exhibit: Picasso-From Paris to New York @ Denison University, Denison Museum 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL
… Karaoke @ Club Diversity 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Tour and Tea with Sophia @ 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL
… Karaoke @ Club Diversity 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 4:00 PM Bitchy Mondays @ Club D 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Monday Night Live @ Wild Goose Creative 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL
11:00 AM Broadway Brunch @ Level 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 3:00 PM The Web of Life @ King Av! enue United Methodist Church 6:00 PM Short North Gala @ Greek Or! 6:00 PM Short North Gala @ Greek Or! 7:00 PM Karaoke @ Club Diversity 8:00 PM Latin Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana
Pride Holiday Events
9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 6:00 PM Yelp Wine Tuesdays @ Camelot Cellars Winery 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile
9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Creekside Paddle Boats @ Creekside Park & Plaza 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile
9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 6:00 PM Fashion Night @ The LC, Lifestyles Community Pavilion 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile
9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 6:00 PM Speakers Panel MCC @ Multi! cultural Center in the Ohio Union of 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile
9:00 AM SRJNG Tuesday Tune Up @ Espresso Yourself Cafe 2:00 PM Rooftop Garden Tour @ OSU Urban Arts Space 4:00 PM Technicolor Movie Night @ Club D 4:00 PM Karaoke @ Q 5:00 PM Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana 8:00 PM Cheap Date Night @ Slam! mers 8:00 PM Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level 10:00 PM Strippers @ Exile
12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St
11:00 AM Film: Journey Into Amazing Caves @ COSI 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 9:00 PM Drauma @ The Bluestone 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St
10:30 AM Furs, Fins and Feathers @ Columbus Museum of Art 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St
11:30 AM Global Watchdogs: Reporter Safety, Social Media & the Future of Journalism @ The Hyatt Regency 12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 6:00 PM Network Columbus @ Reed Arts 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St
12:00 PM CMC Lunch Forums @ Ath! letic Club of Columbus 3:00 PM Professional Presence & Mil! lion Dollar Manners @ Capital Club 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 5:00 PM Prime Timers "Boys Night Out" @ Club D 5:00 PM New Event 9:00 PM Yacht with Light Asylum @ Wexner Center for the Arts 9:30 PM Karaoke Bingo @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St
4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ Club D 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik
… Drauma @ The Bluestone 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 6:00 PM Cocktails at the Conservatory @ Franklin Park Conservatory 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik
Moonshine Festival @ New Straitsville, OH
4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 6:00 PM COSI After Dark @ COSI 7:30 PM Shadowbox Live: Fantasies @ Shadowbox Cabaret Easton 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik
9 10 11 12 13 14
29 30 31
4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis 10:00 PM Traxx: Columbus @ Out! lands 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St
4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 6:00 PM New Event 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Traxx: Columbus @ Out! lands 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM SWEATIN’ PRESENTS: KVLT@
9 10 11
Velvet Ice Cream Festival @ Utica, OH
6:00 PM HRC Columbus Dinner @ Ohio Union 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St
Old West End Festival @ Toledo, OH
Miami Valley Pride @ Dayton, OH
and 2 more…
10:00 AM Asian Festival @ Franklin 8:00 PM PASCO Presents Fiesta Filipina 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level
GrillMasters Festival @ North Market
9:00 AM Asian Fest - Dragon Boat 12:00 PM Agora 8 @ Junctionview Stu! 7:00 PM An Evening of Glitz and Glam! 7:00 PM Romantic Full Moon Canoe 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall
International Street Fair @ Athens, OH
8:00 AM Race for the Cure 12:00 PM Agora @ Junctionview Stu! dios 8:00 PM Center Stage Gala: The Neville Brothers @ McCoy Center for the Arts 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St
1:00 PM Safe Surfin’ with Erik Estrada @ Loyal Order of Moose 8:30 PM Best Ass Contest @ Exile 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St
26 27 28 29 30
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
2011 PINK! Weekend @ Wall Street
Feast of the Flowering Moon @ Chillicothe, OH
Walleye Festival @ Port Clinton
11:00 AM Decorators’ Show House 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Traxx: Columbus @ Out! lands 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St
Ohio Heritage Festival @ Hicksville, OH
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 5:00 PM New Work @ Art Access Gallery 7:30 PM Senior Fashion Show: Masters of Design @ CCAD Design Studios 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM Traxx: Columbus @ Out! lands 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St
Southern Ohio Rally in the Valley @ Albany, OH
12:30 PM Project Narrative Symposium on Queer and Feminist Narrative Theo! 4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 6:00 PM The Taste of Dine Originals @ 7:00 PM History: The Good, The Bad, 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik 10:00 PM Drag Special @ Level
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
May 2011 S M
4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 6:00 PM Columbus Food Adventures: Alt Eats Tour @ Wonderland 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 9:30 PM Live Music @ Club D 10:00 PM DJ Fierce Tease @ Axis 10:00 PM Traxx: Columbus @ Out! lands 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
4:00 PM $3 3 Olives Night @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 5:30 PM Cocktails at the Conservatory @ Franklin Park Conservatory 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 9:00 PM Tom Crumley at the Piano @ 10:00 PM Trafik Jam @ Trafik
Cinco de Mayo
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
Wild Turkey Festival @ McArthur, Ohio
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
April 2011 S M
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SUNDAY, MAY 1 A GAY-LA FOR THE AGES Short North Gala @ Greek Orthodox Cathedral, 555 N High St, 614.299.8050, www.shortnorthgala.com: Cocktails in the courtyard, followed by dancing and a taste of the Short North in the ballroom. We know it sounds classy, but that’s the Short for ya; classy on the surface and a hot mess underneath. 6p; $65, $850 (table of 10).
Raiment II which makes the Palm House glow. 5:30p-10p; $10 gets you $10 food/drinks tokens.
SATURDAY, MAY 7 RIDE WITH ERIK ESTRADA (FINALLY!) Safe Surfin’ with Erik Estrada @ Loyal Order of Moose, 1500 Demorest Rd, 740.359.8421, www.safesurfin.org: Charity Run, Corn Hole, Live bands. Meet & greet with TV and movie star Erik Estrada! Everyone welcome Proceeds benefit Safe Surfin’ Foundation. 1p; $20, kids under 12 free.
FRIDAY, MAY 6 Adventures with Food Columbus Food Adventures: Alt Eats Tour @ Wonderland, Hamlet & Warren, 614.440.3177, www.columbusfoodadventures.com: Cheap vacation for those with a curious palate. Sample Vietnamese, Somali, Southern Indian food, throw in a little Zanzibar AND take a trip to a Latino grocery store? Anthony Bourdain, eat your heart out. 6p-9:30p; $60.
Hellon Stage Burlesque @ Wall St, 144 N Wall St, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Hellin Bedd brings you the Miss Gay Capital City America prelims for MGOA. Should be ‘entertaining.’ 8p, cover. A GOOD FOLK’N TIME Central Ohio Folk Festival @ Battelle-Darby Creek Metro Park, 1775 Darby Creek Dr., 614.491.0437, www.cfmsinc.org/central_ohio_folk_festival.ht m: Come out and be experience some of Central Ohio’s finest folk music, as well as various workshops. 8a; $10$35
NOT A SPIT CIRCLE The Web of Life @ King Avenue United Methodist Church, 299 King Ave, 614.424.6050: The Columbus Women’s Chorus presents a musical and audiovisual celebration of women’s connection to the fabric arts. 3p; $15.
MONDAY, MAY 2 FUNNY QUEER OR FUNNY HA HA? Monday Night Live @ Wild Goose Creative, 2491 Summit St, 614.859.9453, www.wildgoosecreative.com: Local Travis Hoewischer teams up with Wild Goose Creative to bring some of Cap City’s finest creative minds together for a variety show. 9p; free.
MONDAY, MAY 9 TALK SHIT. Speakers Panel MCC @ Multicultural Center , OSU’s Ohio Union, Ste 1000, 1739 N High St, www.multiculturalcenter.osu.edu/events: LBTQ&A Student Association sponsors a weekly discussion panel regarding important issues in the LGBTQ&A community. Talking trash with other gays. We love it already. 6p-7:30p; free.
TUESDAY, MAY 10 GIVIN’ LOVE A BAD NAME AND HAIR BON JOVI @ Nationwide Arena, 200 W Nationwide Blvd, 614.246.2000, www.nationwidearea.com: Come rock out with Bon Jovi and make sure to shake your good hair to “Livin’ On A Prayer” and some new tracks. WTF? 6:30p; $19.50-$129.50. WEDNESDAY, MAY 11 IT’S WHO YOU KNOW Network Columbus @ Reed Arts, 909 W 5th Ave, www.networkcolum-
something to do each day this month
FRIDAY, MAY 20 OMG, TOTES WANT THOSE THROW PILLOWS. THESE AIN’T IKEA, JUDY. Decorators’ Show House @ 4125 Oxford Dr., Upper Arlington, 43220, 614.221.6801, www.columbusmuseum.org: This Spanish-revival style home was built in 1928 and sits upon 2 acres of land. Aside from that historical awesomeness, it also is
TALK NERDY TO ME COSI After Dark @ COSI, 333 W Broad St,614.228.2674, www.cosi.org: For ages 21+, you can come to COSI after close, booze it up, check out all the cool stuff to do and grab a bite to eat. Can you imagine how stoked you’d be to pay $.51 to flatten a penny if you were drunk? Or there’s always that bicycle… 6p-9p; $18-$20.
THURSDAY, MAY 19 FANTASIES! Shadowbox Live: Fantasies @ Shadowbox Cabaret Easton, 164 Easton Town Center. 614.265.7625, www.shadowboxlive.org: A little bit rock-n-roll, a little eyebrow raising, a bucket of beer. Your server doubles as a live performer. Make sure to order all the drinks that you’ll want until intermission (all of them), as you won’t be able to get anything until then. 7:30p; $30.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 18 SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE GOT A CRAIGSLIST ACCOUNT… Furs, Fins and Feathers @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E Broad St, 614.221.4848, www.columbusmuseum.org: Great for the whole family. For the kids, there are hands-on activities, tours and visits. Also, the exhibition includes African headdresses to Innuit stone carvings. Through June. 10:30a-5:30p; $10 adults/$8 students/ Free kids 5-.
TUESDAY, MAY 17 WORK, WORK: FASHION, BABY Fashion Night @ The LC, Lifestyles Community Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave., 614.291.2421, www.avedacolumbus.com: This benefit is for Earth Jam 2011 which will include music, fun and drinks. 6p; $15-$100.
MONDAY, MAY 16 GET YOUR ART ON Exhibit: Picasso-From Paris to New York @ Denison University, Denison Museum, 100 South Rd, Granville, 43203, 740.587.6255. www.denison.edu: This exhibit of Pablo Picasso focuses on the earliest stages of the artists’ career though the Pose Period (1904-1906) and emphasizes his importance to 20th century art. Also, come check out the completed treatment of the newly renovated print collection at Denison. 12p-5p; free.
bus.cojm: Join the members of Netanother interesting tour to satiate our work Columbus, central Ohio’s procraving for something out of the ordigressive GLBT networking group, for a nary. You may have hit up one or two networking event and speakers con- of Columbus’ taco trucks (not a eucerning local food, sustainability and phemism for First Friday at Wall St framing. Free food & drinks. 6p-8p; Just sayin’) This tour provides stops free. at 5 different taco trucks, as well as emphasis on the culture surrounding each truck and taco truck etiquette. (Who knew?) 4p; $55. BOW WOW YIPPEE YO Global Watchdogs: Reporter Safety, Social Media & the Future of Journalism @ The Hyatt Regency, 350 N High St, 614.229.4599, www.kintera.org: Peter Hiscocks brings his journalistic experiences to Columbus for a 2 hour lecture on private and state broadcasting organizations. He has worked for BBC for over two decades and won many awards for his journalism. 11:30a; $25-$30 THURSDAY, MAY 12 History: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: Are objects inherently controversial? Or, over time, do culture and society dictate the meaning of an object? 7p; free. QUEERIES Project Narrative Symposium on Queer and Feminist Narrative Theory @ the Hyatt Regency , 350 N High St, An event opening up the opportunity for discourse surrounding the question: What is considered feminist or queer narrative? Goes through Saturday, May 14.
SUNDAY, MAY 15 WHO DOESN’T LOVE A GOOD TACO? Taco Truck Tour @ Wonderland, Hamlet & Warren, 614.440.3177, www.columbusfoodadventures.com: Columbus Food Adventures brings us
SATURDAY, MAY 14 LOOK! ANOTHER GAY-LA Center Stage Gala: The Neville Brothers @ McCoy Center for the Arts, Schottenstein Theatre, 100 W Dublin-Granville Rd, New Albany, 614.245.4701, www.mccoycenter.org: An evening with the Neville Brothers: This year’s annual fundraising event for the McCoy Center for the Arts. Get classy cred for enjoying jazz music and being a philanthropist. Nice. 8p; $85-$125.
TUESDAY, MAY 3 SUNDAY, MAY 8 FRIDAY, MAY 13 If You Need Me, I’ll Be On The You, Mother… PRRR-ETTTY ART Roof… Mother’s Day @ Your mom’s house. New Work @ Art Access Gallery, 540 Rooftop Garden Tour @ OSU Urban Or a bar, if it’s my mother. Take your S Drexel Ave, Bexley, 614.338.8325, Arts Space, 50 W Town mother, grandmother and or drag www.artaccessgallery.com: New work St,614.292.8861, www.uas.osu.edu: mother to brunch. However, if it’s the by artists Paula Rubinstein, Judy Take a tour of the Arts Space and the latter of the three, don’t necessarily Faveret Friday, Sally Bennett, Toni current exhibitions, learn about their offer to cover the tab. If you haven’t Doilney & Mary Long-Postal. Come eco-friendly efforts will be provided any ideas, something wholesome support some local artists and possiand ends with a trip to the green roof. (ahem) to take ma to: Tour and Tea bly get a piece to replace your RSVP via web. 2p; free. with Sophia @ Kelton House Museum Madonna Blond Ambition Tour poster. & Garden, 586 E Town St, www.kelIt’s time, really. 5p; free. tonhouse.com: Tour Sophia Kelton’s lovely Victorian home and then take DRINKS, DANCE AND FASHION. SO GAY. tea and have finger sandwiches. Sure Senior Fashion Show: Masters of to charm your mother. 1-4p; $15. Design @ CCAD Design Studios, 390 E Broad St, 614.224.9101, www.ccad.edu: An evening on the town full of fashion, music, dancing and raising money for young artists. With fashion, nationally known DJs and drinks, what is not to enjoy? 7:30p; $125. WEDNESDAY, MAY 4 KISS MY ASCOT Professional Presence & Million Dollar Manners @ Capital Club, 41 S High St, 614.325.4500, www.professionalimagery.com: Come to this workshop to learn all of the etiquette necessary to deliver a polished package. Now, perhaps, you can stop using that bottle of Pledge before you take new Grindr pics, skanks. 35p;free.
Yacht with Light Asylum @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St,614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: Sure to be a great time. This electronic art rock will put a smile on your face and provide a nice beat to step to. 9p; $10. THURSDAY, MAY 5 BOTONY: MAKING YOUR DATE THINK THAT YOU’RE SMART Cocktails at the Conservatory @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E Broad St, 614.645.8733, www.fpconservatory.org/cocktails.htm Do you like drinks? What about plants? Small plates? Every Thursday evening, FPC hosts this evening event, complete with a DJ and Light
decorated to the nines. Come get some ideas, copy them and pawn them off as your own just in time for your Robyn pre-party. 11a-5p; $20. SATURDAY, MAY 21 AND IT TURNED INTO A BALLROOM GLITZ An Evening of Glitz and Glamour @ The King Arts Complex, 867 Mt Vernon Ave, www.thekingartscomplex.com: A special tribute to Larry James, the chairman of the board of trustees, featuring special guest artist Howard Hewett. It’s the 24th Anniversary Gala... which means it’s the last year before The King Arts Complex is 25. Ah, adulthood. VIP Reception at 7p, event at 8p; $100 (per couple), $65 (per person), $25 additional (for VIP Reception). I’M ON A BOAT, BITCH Romantic Full Moon Canoe Trip @ Hocking Valley Canoe Livery, 31251 Chieftain Dr., Logan, Ohio, 800.686.0386, www.hockinghillscanoeing.com: After a romantic moon and tiki-lit canoe trip through the Hocking River, a lively bonfire, smore roasting and live entertainment awaits. $7p; $20 per canoe. SUNDAY, MAY 22 TRICERATOPS: FIRST TOP EVER. Dinosaurs: Explore, Escape, Survive@ COSI, 333 W Broad St,614.228.2674, www.cosi.org: This interactive exhibition includes similator pods where you can hunt, eat and flee Dinos, life-like simulations of dinosaurs and includes a maze that’ll make you feel like a paleontologist even if you can’t spell it. Great for the family. 12p-6p; Adults $14.25/Students $9.25 MONDAY, MAY 23 I GUESS IT’S BETTER TO HAVE STEAM BLOWN UP THERE THAN GLASS… Hot Shop@ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E Broad St,614.645.5923, www.fpconservatory.org: Come check out the amazing art of glassblowing at the Hot Shop. Join local gaffers as they transform molten glass into extraordinary glass art in FP’s unique outdoor glassblowing pavilion. 11a2p; $9-$11.
Park & Plaza, 123 Mill St, Gahanna,
TUESDAY, MAY 24 I’ll Race You. Creekside Paddle Boats @ Creekside 614.342.4250, www.gahanna.gov: All Season long, come paddle boat and race your friends. You can actually prove that you’re outdoorsy instead of boasting your ability to drink outside on the patio. It will make you seem more fit and fun. It’s also only $5 to be the paddle boat champion. Think about it. Tue-Sun 4p-8p: $5.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 25 COOL, DAMP PLACES Film: Journey Into Amazing Caves @ COSI, 333 W Broad St,614.228.2674, www.cosi.org: COSI’s Extreme Film Series is way cooler than watching Planet Earth on your laptop. Join Nancy Aulenbach and Dr. Hazel Burton in this amazing journey through underwater caves in the Mexican jungles and luxurious ice
TUESDAY, MAY 31 YELP! I LOVE WINE! Yelp Wine Tuesdays @ Camelot Cellars Winery, 958 N High St,614.441 .8860, www.yelp.com/events/columbus-yelp-wine-tuesdays: Join Yelpers for the last Wine Tuesday of the month. A special priced red and white wine will be available to sample from Camelot’s extensive variety. After, you can tweet about it and give Charlie Sheen a run for his money as you trend #wining!.6p-8p; free.
MONDAY, MAY 30 DON’T TOUCH THEIR WINGS! Blooms & Butterflies @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E Broad St, 614.645.8733, www.fpconservatory.org: Along with activities that display the butterfly’s life cycle, Franklin Park offers an experience like no other. Come out and watch the release of dozens of butterflies in the Pacific Island Water Garden. Perfect for the science lover or kids. 10a-5p; $9-$11.
SUNDAY, MAY 29 LET ME SEE YOUR GRILL GrillMasters Festival @ North Market, 59 Spruce St,614.463.9664, www.northmarket.com: Come to this 6th annual Memorial Day celebration and learn grilling techniques, sauce secrets and special BBQ and hot food venders. Also, culinary contests, cooking demos and live entertainment! 12p-5p; free.
CANADIAN AND CAN DANCE? SIGN ME UP. Fiesta Filipina @ Peggy R. McConnell Arts Center of Worthington, 777 Evening St, Worthington, 614.431.0329, www.mcconnellarts.org: The Philippine American Society of Central Ohio proudly brings you Fiesta Filipina, a traditional Filipino dance company hailing all the way from Toronto, Canada. 8p; $20.
SATURDAY, MAY 28 IT’LL LEAVE YOU HUNGRY FOR MORE! Asian Festival @ Franklin Park, www.asian-festival.org: Dancing! Music! Food! There so many reasons why we love Asia. Outlook gives thanks for Jet Li. Mmm. 10a-9p (Saturday), 11a-7p (Sunday); free.
FRIDAY, MAY 27 SWEATIN’ PRESENTS: KVLT@ Skully’s Music Diner, 1151 N High St, 614.291.8856, www.skullys.org: Every Friday, Sweatin’ brings an dark Electronic music night to dance hard and get drunk. What’s not to love? 10p; $5 21+ event.
THURSDAY, MAY 26 KINDA LIKE 8675309 3-4-3 @ Level Dining Lounge, 700 N High St, levelcolumbus.com: How many drinks does it take to get to the center of a… Find out with $3 Three Olive Vodkas, $4 Flavored Three Olive Long Islands & $3 Long Islands. All day; free.
Caves throughout Greenland. Narrated by Liam Neeson, this film is sure to allow your mind to explore some of the wonders of the world. 11a-3p; $7.50
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kvetch on DC, it has a fantastic scene, but Columbus gays should know they have something good here too.
All in all, it’s the “niceness” compared to a lot of folk out East, and the different emphases on what is or isn’t important, that I remember well from growing up and welcome back into my life. It was funny when I was in DC how much us fellow Ohioans ended up coming together there…something connects us.
MW: The arc of your lives as you described them to me made settling in the country a sure thing. Tell our readers some details of your long journey to Granville. AK: Honestly, Ohio is the last place I ever saw myself. I found my good mid-western boy, but in Washington, DC. Having lived and AK: People from the East aren’t nice? I grew up in Philadelworked in Colorado, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Scotland, Kenya, and phia…Hey, does that mean I’m not nice? Humph! Moving to Ohio Madagascar, it was unexpected to land in the Village of Granville. has been a transition. Everyone is so nice. But I still feel like But when we drove through we fell in love! A town founded by they’re talking about me behind my back. But that could be my Welsh settlers from New England? Done. I was back in Vermont. East Coast paranoia. And we were close to Don’s parents. A compromise that brought me a farm, a gorgeous historic house - the first licensed home for The first thing I learned about Ohio was the name of the OSU foot- alcoholics in Ohio! - and the chance to buy antiques and decorate. ball coach. The second thing was where to find a good bottle of Inevitable? Yes. the gin. Transitioning from the city to the country can be hard. I live the Baby Boom life but, unlike Diane Keaton, we have Colum- DJ: If you had asked me a year ago that I’d be living in Granville, I bus close by for a night out when things get claustrophobic. would have thought you were crazy. I had thought about moving back to Columbus about 8 years ago, but always saw myself living MW: I was speaking with a beautiful transwoman a couple of in Victorian Village. nights ago who had left Columbus for a few years and then returned. She said Cowtown is “on point” and its scene is up I think as you get older, though, the things that you were familiar there with Chicago and DC. What do you think? with growing up become more attractive. My dad, who recently AK: I would agree and disagree. In DC, every subculture has a spe- passed away, was a hobby farmer growing up, and when I put on cific location to congregate. One of the things I love about Ohio, his old barn coat for the first time to help get the llamas out of the and Columbus, is that you can go to Union or Axis, and see young trailer and into their new home, I really felt like he was up there gays, old gays, bears, lesbians, and African-American couples all laughing seeing his son fall not far from the family tree. It cerin one location. While I can appreciate some in town may disagree tainly helped that not only did we find a beautiful house on beautiwith this, and demand locations for individual groups, it’s refresh- ful land, but it was minutes from a village with lots of charm, ing to see a community together, everyone within speaking proxim- culture, good food and good people, and we were also only 30-40 ity to everyone else. It equalizes a community that, in larger cities, minutes away from Columbus’s downtown, and to us DC transtends to segregate itself. And I can see Columbus moving in that plants, a 30-minute drive is nothing, so we really got the best of direction. I hope that as more venues are opened, they remain in- all worlds. With all the stress of the last 6 months, there have clusive for the entire community. been very few moments where I wasn’t still happy to have gone back to the country. DJ: I think Columbus has a high quality and diverse scene. I used to always tell my friends in DC how ridiculously gay Columbus MW: Tell us about your work on behalf of the Gay community. was, and every time I’d come back it would just be gayer! Even Don: While we were in DC, we both participated in community back 10 years ago, it had as many bars as DC did. I get what An- groups and political activities, supporting marriage equality, helpdrew is saying too because one thing that struck me as soon as I ing gay youth or gay people of faith and passing hate crimes and moved to DC was that people stayed very much with their own anti-discrimination legislation. Being in DC, though, you are kind, whether ethnic or subculture. Status and influence were also somewhat sheltered from the struggles that people face in places really important- the first question after what is your name is al- where equality is less sure and the path to such things as marways what do you do. While it certainly happens in Columbus, I’ve riage will be rough. We definitely want Orchard House to be a place always felt like you see many more different people mixing it up to- where we can provide our community, both in Granville and the gether out here, and with less attitude. greater Columbus area, a space for events and gatherings to bring our brothers and sisters together to fight for common cause I remember one night being at a place and within a few feet of me as well as simply understand the simple, eternal embrace of a was a black drag queen, a bull dyke, a couple twinks and a daddy welcoming community and home. in assless chaps…all having a great time. I’ve seen that same spirit since coming back. And don’t get me started on cheaper Andrew: I couldn’t have said it better myself. drinks, lower covers and much more parking. I don’t mean to outlookcolumbus.com
One in every seven people is employed in some aspect of agriculture.
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ON THE CUTTING EDGE: OSU AGRICULTURE ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR DR PAUL KUBER by Abbey Miller
duction back to the U.S. and was asked to join the faculty at Idaho State University. Shortly after, There are over 75,000 farms in Ohio, which ache was asked to apply at Ohio State where he has count for more than 13 million acres of land and been ever since. According to Kuber, Ohio State is over 7 million dollars per year economically. Like one of the most progressive places he’s ever it or not, agriculture is a huge part of Ohio’s his- worked. “OSU’s school of agriculture launched a Anitory, and more importantly, its economic future. diversity campaign, and they are more accepting mal Dr. Paul Kuber, associate professor in the depart- and progressive because of it,” said Kuber. rights ment of animal science at OSU knows this, and is groups making sure that Ohio agriculture education is on In Ohio, the world of academia isn’t the only thing often target the cutting edge, both scientifically and culturthat is becoming more progressive. “The agricul- the agriculally. ture industry is traditionally very conservative, tural commubut the climate is changing,” said Kuber. “All nity because of From growing up in rural California, to studying forms of diversity are being welcomed now.” The meat production in Idaho, Nebraska and Washington, to exploring younger generations are reflecting the change in and animal slaughand enterprising in Australia, there isn’t much of atmosphere and the larger acceptance of diver- tering. “The truth is, anthe English-speaking world Dr. Kuber hasn’t sity that is happening in the world of Ohio agriimal harvesting is a seen. But the travelling enthusiast has found his culture. 4-H education, which was once reserved necessary evil. None of us home in Ohio. The rich agricultural climate isn’t for kids in rural areas, is now becoming a more enjoy doing it,” said Kuber. the only thing that attracts Kuber to the area. widely accepted form of education for a large “But we go at it with respect Culturally, Kuber finds Ohio to be more progres- number of diverse families. Kuber sees this most for the process, and respect for sive than other Midwest states in their policies often at the Ohio State fair, where he participates the life of the animal.” The towards diversity, and agricultural education op- in skill-a-thon judging. “The youth today is exUSDA has strict regulations in portunities. In Kuber’s words, “Ohio has a lot pressing themselves more naturally,” he said. place regarding the harvesting of going for it.” “There used to be an expectation on how to belivestock, to ensure that the animal have, and now you get to know the kids for who does not experience pain, but for aniDr. Kuber has worked in just about every facet of they truly are. Out or not is irrelevant, I think they mal rights activists, that still isn’t the agriculture industry. Whether it be meat pur- just enjoy being who they are.” enough, and Kuber realizes that there chasing, microbial testing, or the science of dewill always be an uphill battle before him termining how animal nutrition effects taste, he Falsehoods surrounding adults in agriculture ed- on the topic of animal harvesting. “We have a has been involved. Most recently he has narrowed ucation at the college level are also beginning to hard time showing both qualitative and quantihis focus to education and extension at Ohio be dispelled. “There used to be a misconception tative research to the public. The difference beState, where he recently became tenured. that anyone doing animal studies in the Ag detween life span versus quality of life is hard to partment was either going to work on the family put in a graph,” said Kuber. “Is science always Before starting his journey in the world of acade- farm, or go into vet school,” said Kuber. “But now, right? No. Are emotions always right? No. But I mia, Kuber was a pivotal player in the commer- that just isn’t the case, people are going into nu- think most of us are good people trying to do the cial lamb business. “I’ve had a passion for the trition consulting, reproductive physiology and right thing.” livestock industry ever since I was young,” Kuber many other things.” said. Organic versus natural faming is also a heated Though Ohio’s increasingly progressive outlook debate in which Dr. Kuber also often finds himHe worked at Superior Farms in Washington as a has many advantages, the agriculture industry, self. “Ohio has a lot of niche farming communilamb processor, “I was doing things like microand subsequently Dr. Kuber are forced to answer ties, and if that farmer can make more money bial testing,” he said. Later, he became more in- to progressive media and activist groups that because he is all organic, or whatever, then that’s volved in the purchasing process. During his time aren’t always supportive. Hot button issues like great. I support that,” said Kuber. “But I don’t at Superior, he was sent to Australia to expand animal harvesting, meat production and the ‘or- think that small farms alone can feed America.” the company’s market. “Being in Australia ganic versus natural’ argument make Kuber’s job Kuber also believes that defining what is local taught me a lot,” Kuber said. “The market down anything but a walk through the barn. “I remem- and what is corporate in the farming industry there is huge. The U.S. should start running ber when I was studying at Nebraska, we had a isn’t always as black and white as some activists things more like the Australians.” lock down in the agriculture department because group would like consumers to believe. “There are some activist group was targeting Midwestern family farms that have the income and the He brought his new understanding of lamb pro- schools,” he said. acreage of corporate farms, so where do you draw
the line between family and corporate,” he said. Kuber believes there is a place for everyone in the agricultural industry. “I think all forms of farming are opportunities.” Though he has a controversial job and lifestyle, Dr. Kuber has a simple way of keeping the focus on the positive, and both the conservative and progressive key players in the agriculture industry happy. “I never mix politics in conversation,” Kuber said with a laugh. “My parents are very liberal, and my siblings went a different direction, so I try to keep it neutral.” By sharing scientific research findings with the public at large, both adults in the industry and the youth in 4-H, Kuber hopes that Ohio will keep progressing. “There are more opportunities for people to truly share their agricultural talents, and those talents are now the focus, not their religion, race or sexual orientation. As long as business can stay separate from personal, we will keep progressing.” Though Kuber has recently earned tenure at Ohio State, he hopes to keep travelling and learning new things. He plans on one day returning to California with his family but insists that’s not for quite a while. “I’ll go home when I’ve seen it all.”
Cincinnati, Ohio was once known as 'Porkopolis' because of the large volume of hogs that were marked and slaughtered there.
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Poinsettias are Ohio's number one floriculture crop.
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Is it Organic? Or just socialism? Is it Organic? Or just socialism?
When it comes time to sell the crop, the organic farmer must then pay yet more fees to his certifier for the “priviby Mischa Popoff lege” of having each crop he sells, each shipment in fact, deemed organic. Yeah… organic farmers don’t appreciate In case you think everyone in the organic industry feels the that one bit. same way, think again. In researching my book, Is it Organic? The inside story of the organic industry, I learned Besides paperwork and high fees (which by the time an orwith absolute certainly what I had strongly suspected dur- ganic crop reaches the store shelf are as high as 20 pering my five years as an organic inspector: that organic cent of the original farm-gate price!) organic farmers also farmers do not, I repeat DO NOT, agree with the urban ac- don’t believe there should be less technology on the farm. tivists who run their industry. It’s the people who’ve never worked a day on a farm who want to do away with things like tractors and modern sciFor starters, organic farmers want their farms tested inence. As I explain in my book, stead of being forced to fill out reams and reams of paperwork. They know there’s no better way than with a test to No one laments that it takes only one worker to do the logprove their land is pure and that their crops are more nu- ging, mining, automobile assembly or construction work tritious. You can fill out all the forms you want but it won’t that used to require a couple hundred workers or more, make you green. and no one believes for a second that the products of those industries would be better in any way if they were Organic farmers also know paying exorbitant fees won’t produced less efficiently using old fashion methods; they’d make you green. A test for over 200 prohibited toxins costs just cost a hell of a lot more. Can you imagine the cost of one-tenth of what an organic farmer is currently forced to a house built without power tools? But the romantic allure pay to have his annual application for certification surrounding food production leads urban activists to seek, processed. He then pays to sit through a mind-numbing and if necessary impose, an outmoded paradigm while three-hour “inspection” of his paperwork at his farm. Oh they themselves lead comfortable lives benefiting from insure, the inspector will have a look around the farm to expensive transportation, housing, energy and communimake sure there’s no malfeasance, but since there are no cations along with all the other trappings of modern surprise inspections it’s not like he’s going to find anycivilization. (p. 22) thing, now is he? Yeah… organic farmers hate it when someone in the city
tells them how they should run their farms. Most consumers of organic food aren’t aware that the organic farming movement began in England as a Christian movement. Maybe that explains why so many honest, hard-working organic farmers in Canada identify as conservatives. Right up until 1997 the organic industry actually had a sound scientific basis, subject to free-market rules with no government interference. But you’ll never hear about that from the pro-organic media, or about the key role Presidents H.W. and G.W. Bush played, along with Bill Clinton, in vaulting organics from hippie movement to multi-billion-dollar industry. You’ll also never hear how over 85 percent of the certified “organic” food sold in Canada is imported from places like China, Mexico and Brazil. That’s right: hard-working Canadian farmers fill a measly 15 percent of the domestic market for premium-priced organic food. No wonder they want field testing. What business does a city-dweller have telling a second, third or fourth-generation farmer what he can grow, how to grow it, what records to keep and what fees to pay just so he can supposedly prove he’s not using synthetic fertilizer or prohibited pesticides? Who’s behind all of this? Pick up my book and you will be surprised. You can find it by going to my website: www.isitorganic.ca. Mischa Popoff holds a bachelor’s degree in history and is an IOIA Advanced Organic Inspector.
Agriculture employs more than 24 million American workers (17% of the total U.S. work force).
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Ohio wood carries an international reputation for its tight pattern and shape.
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Does Eating Meat Cause Hunger? by Doug Pibel The World Bank discusses two factors driving up food So far, agriculture has kept up with population - there’s prices: weather and ethanol, and quotes a USDA estienough food in the world to feed everyone. But not every- mate that 40 percent of the U.S. corn output will go to one’s getting fed - at least a billion people live with making ethanol this year. hunger, according to the U.N. World Food Program. And the world is in the midst of yet another spike in food But in the United States in 2009, the last full year for prices. As long as we keep diverting grain from human which numbers are available, 137 million metric tons of mouths to animal ones, people will go hungry. It’s simple corn, sorghum, barley, and oats became animal feed. market economics: It’s more profitable to produce meat - That’s 46 percent of total U.S. consumption of those even though the meat that results from feeding grain to grains. It’s also two and a half times the amount of grain animals has less food value than the grain itself. the United States exported in that year.
never bought a bag of chemical fertilizer and we’ve never planted a seed.” Salatin raises cattle, pigs, and chickens, and does it all without using anything that could become human food. He says his farmland has gotten richer and more fertile as a result of decades of grazing.
This is the model that most humans followed for most of history: Animals ate what humans couldn’t, and turned that into meat that humans could eat. Ron Fairlie, in his new book, Meat: A Benign Extravagance, calls this “default livestock.” He calculates that a universal return to that model would return food grains to human mouths, and still produce enough meat for everyone to have Which is why there’s hunger even when there are no The solution to world hunger, then, is simple: Stop eating some. grain shortages: The wealthy of the world are willing to meat. pay more to feed animals than poor people can pay to Not a great deal, mind you - about three quarters of a feed themselves. No realistic person expects that, or anything close to it, to pound of meat and 1.33 pints of milk per week. But the happen. There is a slew of valid reasons for being vege- roughly 1.5 billion people in India, Pakistan, and So must we all become vegetarians in order to avert tarian: raising meat produces greenhouse gases, deBangladesh eat less than that already. world hunger? Not necessarily. The spring issue of YES! grades water ways, and displaces forests and wild Magazine suggests another route to food sufficiency. habitats, and many people feel that the way animals are For the sacrifice of cutting our meat consumption, we’d raised and slaughtered is immoral. Nonetheless, it eliminate the cruelty of confinement animal-feeding opRecent food price spikes mean those on the margins are seems that meat eating will be with us always. erations. We’d do away with the bulk of the greenhouse more likely to go hungry, and political instability is gases associated with industrial livestock - Salatin says among the outcomes. In February, the World Bank reIt turns out, though, that eating meat doesn’t have to his operation actually sequesters carbon. Best of all, ported price levels only 3 percent below the 2008 peak take food away from hungry people, and it doesn’t have we’d know that no one in the world had to go to bed hunthat produced widespread food riots. At the beginning of to involve a lifetime in a cage. As Joel Salatin says, in a gry. March, The U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) YES! Magazine interview, “Don’t blame the cow for the Pibel is managing editor of YES! Magazine. Copyright (C) 2011 by the reported a 70 percent increase in export grain prices dur- negatives of the industrial food system.” American Forum. 3/11 ing the last year. The FAO Food Price Index was at its highest level since the FAO began monitoring prices in At Salatin’s Polyface Farms, the pastures are five times 1990. as productive as the local average, and, he says, “We’ve
Almost half of all land in Ohio is prime farmland (44%) – the best in the world.
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Make real change in our community. Sign up for Lobby Day today!
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The heaviest turkey ever raised weighed 86 pounds, about the size of an average third-grader.
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Ding Dong, organic calling by Phillecia Cochran
cently released Harris Poll said most adults in the LGBT community (55%) say they “personally care a great Let’s be real here – how many of us have a friend, redeal about the current state and future of the environgardless of their hipster status, that either eats organic ment,” compared to 33% of heterosexuals. The same or at least claims to? Probably most of us (*Disclaimer: poll found that overall, the LGBT community is greener I have nothing to support that). and a large percentage purchases organic products, locally grown produce and locally manufactured prodEating and producing organic foods, like anything, has ucts. its benefits and drawbacks. There is a lesser impact on the environment, organic farmers tend to use less en- Matt explained that Green B.E.A.N. doesn’t necessarily ergy, no pesticides are involved and oftentimes there see more of the gay community in the company’s conare added health benefits. The drawbacks? It is typisumer base, but that, “We’re about an open community. cally more expensive (sometimes by a little, sometimes We accept people of all creeds and walks of life. We by a lot) and there aren’t as many options as organic don’t seek any kind of discrimination as a company. food’s non-organic counterpart. Overall, local food has seen an increase in every aspect. I’ve seen younger people especially being more conThis hasn’t stopped America from jumping on the orcerned with what’s in their food and trying to get away ganic bandwagon over the past several years. The U.S. from large business.” only started certifying foods organic in 2002 – less than a decade ago. Large business is one of the things that has posed a hurdle for Green B.E.A.N. With any business there are This also hasn’t stopped husband and wife team Matt politics to overcome and this was no exception. Organic Ewer and Beth Blessing from helping the masses have certification, FDA regulations, gas prices – all things a better and more convenient access to organic produce delivery service like this need to take into account. and natural groceries. Ewer and Blessing started Green That’s part of the reason Green B.E.A.N. delivers, “We B.E.A.N. Delivery in June 2007 and it’s been thriving wanted to avoid certain politics and make our own rules ever since. Green B.E.A.N., which stands for biodyand connect with the customer. Food is always surnamic, education, agriculture and nutrition, is an online rounded by red tapes, especially local and organic,” service where customers can have fresh produce deliv- Matt explained. Green B.E.A.N. thrives on running ered straight to their home all year round. Currently, things the “old school way.” They take pride in their Green B.E.A.N. services areas in Indiana, Kentucky and tight knit group of employees – employees that enjoy Ohio. Green B.E.A.N.’s products, and are offered healthcare. At Green B.E.A.N., users can look through the selection of produce and other foods, and choose what they want. Even better, you have the option of creating a “bin” that will be delivered to you each week so you don’t have to think about what you need. Talking to co-founder Matt Ewer, it was painfully obvious why this company was started – passion. He has a deep passion for food and community. “Local food equals local economy. It’s about supporting family farms in our own community. We’re trying to help the security of food in general, making sure we have family farms in the future.”
Though the company was founded only four years ago, they’ve already expanded their market. Matt explained they have no plans to rush any other expansions. “Business needs to be taken slow and needs to be looked at from a sustainable point of view. We’re not looking for investors and going national. Family means profitable and sustainable.”
And that previously mentioned passion? There are four other companies that make up the Green B.E.A.N family – Tiny Footprint Distribution, a distribution service to get local foods to retail stores that focuses on a low carbon footprint; Farm to Kitchen Foods, ready-made healthy foods; The Feel Good Farm, their certified orMatt’s passion became even more evident when asked ganic farming operation; and Cool School Lunch, Green why Green B.E.A.N. is unique from other home delivery B.E.A.N.’s latest initiative in dealing with childhood options. If I were him, I would’ve touted his own busiobesity. They provide educational institutions with an ness and shout, “We’re the best thing since organic online ordering service for fresh, organic fruits and vegsliced bread!” Instead, he explained, “When it comes to etables. And for the 2011-2012 school year, they’re delocal food, we like to think ‘coopition.’” “You should find veloping a site for ordering and delivering school what works for you. We’re not trying to compete against lunches. farmer’s markets or anything like that. We’re just another option. We want you to find what’s right for you.” How’s that for passion? We also had the opportunity to discuss the increase in organic food consumption over the last decade. A re-
Ohio is one of only five states in the U.S. with almost half considered prime farmland.
All of Green B.E.A.N.’s products and services can be found at www.greenbeandelivery.com.
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I think the stickie note under his hand says “buy some Whit’s custard and a house from Dooley.’ Yes I’m sure of it.
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Fudha’s Tanisha Robinson: From Tortured Mormon to Food Budha by Billy Ashley Few people in central Ohio know the food industry as well as Tanisha Robinson. As Founder and CEO of Fudha, an Internet company that sells too-good-to-be-true restaurant coupons and donates a portion of each sale to the Mid-Ohio Foodbank, Tanisha makes a living by promoting the local food industry and aiding anti-poverty efforts. The mechanics of her business are simple: The website offers a daily coupon for a local restaurant and donates $1 to the Foodbank for every coupon purchased. Yet this simple layout has yielded tremendous benefits for the community. To date, Fudha has donated more than $15,000 dollars to the Foodbank, which has provided more than 30,000 meals for disadvantaged citizens.
were adamant that she return to BYU for a second year, but she chose to enroll in the Army. “When people first hear that I joined the Army, they’re like, ‘What? You were in the Army? That’s crazy, because you’re a black lesbian and you’re so liberal,’” she said with a laugh. “And that’s true! But the reality is that the Army was a more liberal alternative than the conservatism my parents were trying to force me into, and it allowed me to take control of my education.”
For four years, Tanisha worked for the U.S. Army as an Arabic linguist in California. Determined to earn a degree in Arabic after completing her Army service, she cast her lot with a few schools in the nation before deciding to become a Buckeye. Tanisha had never set foot in Columbus at that point, and her friends were a bit taken back Tanisha’s star in central Ohio is quickly rising, by the decision. “Some of my friends were like, yet her road to Fudha was anything but smooth. ‘Well, Tee, you’ve never been to Columbus, Ohio.’ Tanisha’s journey - from a confused religious And I was like, ‘Are you kidding me? I just got child to a lesbian food entrepreneur - took her out the Army, I’ll be fine.’” she said. from Liberty, Missouri to Columbus, Ohio, with pit stops in Utah, California, Syria, the Mediter- Tanisha arrived in Columbus ready for college ranean, and New York. and quickly settled into her home across from Goodale Park in Victorian Village. “I came here “I was raised Mormon. As a GLBT adolescent, I in June, so it was right before Pride and right was deeply traumatized,” Tanisha told me as before ComFest. I was ecstatic and I knew she began her personal story of growing up in Columbus was my new home. I also went a Nina Missouri. “I didn’t know what my deal was; I West drag show and I was like, ‘OK, I love this thought I was depressed. In retrospect, I know place.’” why I was depressed.” “My first foray into the food world in Columbus After high school, Tanisha’s parents sent her to was at Mac’s Café, which was my first job when Brigham Young University, a Mormon institution I moved here. And it was great - my first food of higher education in Provo, Utah. “It was a dry experience was working with an independent county, so it wasn’t the best environment to restaurant and one of the pioneers of the Short learn about food,” she quipped. After a year of North, along with Rigsby’s, so I had a fantastic classes and a near meltdown, she decided to time. From then, I served and bartended for a take the reins on her own education. Her parents while at a few places in the Short North,” she
said. After college, Tanisha was offered a fellowship in the Middle East. She packed her bags, waved goodbye to the Buckeye State, and made her way to Damascus, Syria. While overseas, she was excited by the vast array of cultures and traditions, and spent a lot of time traveling in the Mediterranean. “It was my first time to travel by myself, while I was out and old enough to drink, so I took full advantage of everything that Europe, the Middle East, and North Africa have to offer. I ate and drank my way around, and that’s when I became passionate about food. Before that food was just a necessity. But when I realized the full potential of food and had enough money to explore it, it blew my mind,” she said. Tanisha eventually came back to the United States (“I happened to be in Lebanon when it got bombed, so I was like, ‘Alright, I’m over this.’”), and settled for a while in New York City. But Columbus’ independent restaurant scene was beckoning, so she returned to the city. She was soon serving and washing dishes at Tip Top, a member institution of Liz Lessner’s fabulous Betty’s Family of Restaurants.
While washing dishes at Tip Top, Tanisha began studying the inner workings of the online business realm. She started building small websites, and her first big sale provided the start-up capital that she needed to form Fudha. “One of my friends in Chicago mentioned this thing called Groupon. I liked Groupon’s model in a way, but I was like, ‘If that were my company, I would do it differently. I would be socially responsible. I would do food only, because I don’t really know much about teeth whitening, or spray tanning, or stripper-pole workouts,” she said with a laugh. She approached Lessner and Jeff Mathes, owner of Due Amici and Barrio, with a proposal for a locally focused restaurant-coupon website, and they gave Tanisha the feedback and support that she needed to start Fudha. The website launched with 500 members buying coupons for six restaurants. Today, the company has over 20,000 members and works with 85 restaurants in Columbus.
“Fudha was sort of a simple idea: People in Columbus eat, and by doing so they support local restaurants and help other people eat,” “Liz has always been a great friend of mine and she said. has always set a great example for entrepreneurs. Not only is she vastly successful, but she Tanisha is quick to note the source of her sucgives a lot of time, effort, energy, and money cess with Fudha - the fabulous patrons of into lifting up the community, and taking care of Columbus’ independent restaurants. “Columher servers and staff. The way she functions in bus is such a great community, because the business, I think, is really worth admiring and people want to support independent restausomething I aspire to in my own company. Peo- rants, the community, and be socially responsiple are always like, ‘Why does Fudha give money ble. Fudha couldn’t exist without an audience to the Foodbank?’ And I’m like, ‘Because it’s the that supports that kind of thing.” right thing to do. Because there are hungry people in our neighborhood.’”
Ohio grows more than 200 crops. Corn and soybeans are the top crops.
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Fast Food & the Lean, Mean Teen: Seven Ways to Make Healthier (and Skinnier) Choices at the Drive-Thru Being a teen is tough. Most days your schedule is jam-packed with activities from the time you crawl out of bed to the time you face-plant onto your mattress at night. You’re balancing school, social life, homework, chores, and a host of extracurricular stuff that might range from sports to band practice to an after-school job. You really don’t have time to plan out your meals and count calories - but you still want to be healthy (and - let’s face it - look great in those trendy new jeans). Is there any way to reconcile these health-conscious desires with a lifestyle that often necessitates greasy paper bags from the drive-thru window? Absolutely, say Ellen Shanley and Colleen Thompson. You just have to know - and act on some basic nutritional facts when you’re ordering. “Fast food is part of the American lifestyle, and it’s not realistic to suggest that teens - or adults, for that matter - will never eat another burger or large fry again,” says Shanley, coauthor along with Thompson of the new book Fueling the Teen Machine: What It Takes to Make Good Choices for Yourself Every Day. “The key is to simply know what your best choices are the next time you need a fast meal on the go.” Shanley and Thompson know what they’re talking about - they’re both registered dieticians who practice and teach at the University of Connecticut. They’re also parents, and they’re all too aware that teens’ concerns about their bodies don’t always mesh well with their day-to-day diets. “In the midst of the daily whirlwind that is the typical teenager’s life, a fast-food snack after the game or a quick combo eaten with friends is sometimes the only realistic option,” confirms Thompson. “Plus - let’s be honest - lots of fastfood fare is tasty! And the good news is it can be incorporated into a healthy lifestyle.” Here are seven of Shanley and Thompson’s fastfood-savvy nutrition tips…some of which may really surprise you. (SUPER)-SIZE DOES MATTER. We live in a society where bigger is better. Even
in fancier sit-down restaurants, servings are often larger than what a healthy teenage stomach can comfortably consume. And while it’s tempting to go for the biggest package deal, the same thing is often true of “mega-sized” fastfood meals. Before you order the jumbo burger and the humongo gulp drink, think twice about whether you really need all that food.
help you make an educated decision the next time you visit the restaurant.”
become more health-conscious and have expanded their menus,” Thompson points out. “Look for and try more nutritious choices such as soup, baked potatoes, salads, yogurt, milk, or bagels. Who knows? You might even find a new and improved ‘usual.’”
GO GREEN Yeah, sometimes you’re just craving some salty fries more than anything else. But if you’re not being driven by the relentless need for some deep-fried potatoes, give some thought to order- STEP AWAY FROM THE SODA ing a side salad instead. It’s a great way to fit in Did you know that those caffeinated, refreshing “Fast-food restaurants hook you in by promising a serving of nutritious veggies! beverages account for as much as 10 percent of a lot more food for just a little more money,” the typical teen’s daily calories? Yikes! Many of points out Shanley. “They don’t care if your eyes “Know what kind of salad you’re ordering, us overlook drinks when assessing the nutriend up being bigger than your stomach! So be though,” cautions Thompson. “Salads can ac- tional value of any given meal, which can be a discriminating. Are you really that hungry? Why tually be full of calories, especially if they have mistake. You don’t have to cut sodas entirely not share your mega meal with a friend? Or just heavy dressings or added items such as but remember that moderation is key. get smaller versions of the items you want. chicken strips, croutons, nuts, etc. In fact, just You’ll be consuming fewer unhealthy bites, but two ounces of ranch dressing - about one typi- “Consider going back to your childhood mainyour tastebuds will be just as satisfied.” cal packet - contains twenty grams of fat. stays like water, 100 percent fruit juice, and That’s as much as is in a quarter-pounder! Go milk when placing your order,” advises Shanley. FISH AND CHICKEN DON’T ALWAYS DESERVE for the ‘lite’ or reduced-fat dressings, or use less “Chances are, they’ll be just as tasty as you reTHEIR HEALTHFUL REP of the heavier ones. And choose a salad that’s member - plus, they’re excellent sources of vitaYou know what they say about assuming: don’t. heavier on the veggies than on the extras.” mins, calcium, and even protein. Also consider This is especially true when it comes to choossmoothies made with real fruit, especially if ing your “main course” at the fast-food counter. SKIP THE MOCHA-FRAPPE-ESPRESSO-CCINO- they’re not loaded with sugar.” It’s a common (if not universal) assumption WITH-WHIPPED-CREAM COFFEE DRINK that white meat is healthier than red meat - but Yes, coffee shops are fun hangout spots, and all “Mix and match these tactics when the drivethat’s not always the case. Since many fastthose specialty coffees and baked goods look thru beckons, and you’ll be doing your body and food restaurants bread and fry their chicken and scrumptious! (And some fast-food restaurants health a favor,” concludes Thompson. “Rememfish, these choices often end up having as have these sweet, caffeinated treats, too!) But ber that many of the choices on the menu can much or more fat and calories than a hamdid you know that one beverage and a muffin fit into your meal plan - it’s just a matter of how burger. are often a whole meal in terms of often you choose certain foods and what you eat calories…though not necessarily in terms of along with them that make the difference. By “If you’re craving white meat, choose chicken or nutrition? Ordering these treats on a regular simply changing your side item or beverage and fish that is broiled, baked, or grilled,” advises basis might not be so desirable after all. being aware of what each choice really conThompson. “If you’re not sure how a certain tains, you’ll save lots of calories and gain a menu item is prepared, ask! Actually, most “To increase your intake of other food groups at good deal of nutritional value.” fast-food restaurants have the nutrient content coffee houses, try ordering some 100 percent of their menu items either right in the restaufruit juice or fat-free milk, or having a protein- “The bottom line is, it’s all about balance,” rant or certainly on their websites.” rich egg on your bagel instead of cream adds Shanley. “Every young person has days cheese,” suggests Shanley. “And if you’re crav- that get away, practices that run late, and famiDOWNLOAD THE (NUTRITIONAL) LOWDOWN ing coffee, order your beverage with skim milk, lies who can’t always sit down for a meal at the Yes, it’s important to know what’s in the foods sans flavor shots and piles of sugar. This way, same time. Don’t worry too much about the ocyou eat - how many fat grams and calories, how your drink can actually provide a fair amount of casional supper in a bag - just make the best much sugar, and, yes, how much good stuff like protein and calcium.” choices you can and compensate the following calcium and vitamin C. As mentioned, all fastday by emphasizing fruits, vegetables, and food joints provide nutritional info on their menu THINK OUTSIDE YOUR GO-TO WRAPPER whole grains.” items. And Thompson and Shanley suggest that Most of us gravitate toward one or two meals you stay on top of what’s what the high-tech, when we go to our favorite fast-food spots. Al- Fueling the Teen Machine: What It Takes to Make Good Choices for Yourself Every Day, 2nd Edition (Bull Publishing twenty-first century way. That’s right - there’s though it might mean reading the menu more Company, 2010, ISBN: 978-1-933503-37-0, $16.95) is an app for this, too! carefully than you have in years, going beyond available at better bookstores and major online booksellers. It is also available online at www.bullpub.com or by calling “the usual” might pay off for your taste800-676-2855. “You can download apps that tell you the nutri- buds…and your body. tion information on all of your favorite fast-food menu items,” says Shanley. “This can really “In recent years, many fast-food chains have
Ohio is the nation's seventh largest soybean producing state.
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James at Beyond Limits says proper nutrition is the key to getting the body you want. Chris agrees. He lost 15 pounds eating 7 times a day. Chad has not.
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EVAN RACHEL WOOD TO MARCH WITH CLOONEY
HALEY JOEL OSMENT SEES GAY PEOPLE IN SASSY PANTS
Evan Rachel Wood, who recently talked to Esquire magazine about her bisexuality and how she likes to treat the women she dates (for the record, ladies, she will open the door for you and pay for dinner), has a new project to follow her well-received role in Todd Hayne’s great HBO miniseries, Mildred Pierce. She’ll be appearing in the upcoming directorial effort from George Clooney, The Ides of March. It’s an idealism-meets-dirty-politics drama based on the play by Beau Willimon and co-stars some heavy hitters from the nomination-andaward-having acclaimed actor end of the Hollywood pool: Ryan Gosling, Marisa Tomei, Paul Giamatti, Jeffrey Wright, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Clooney himself. If she wasn’t already considered part of the A-list, Wood certainly is now. Will the next stop be an equally famous girlfriend who’s also ready to be her date to the Oscars and let Wood hold the door?
Oscar nominee and former child star Haley Joel Osment seems to have gone underground since Pay It Forward, but now he’s 23 and apparently ready to get back in the game. And what’s the best way for a former kid actor to firmly establish grown-up credibility? Playing a gay guy in an indie movie, of course, and that’s exactly what Osment’s doing in Sassy Pants. Osment and Diedrich Bader (The Drew Carey Show, Office Space) play a gay couple in the comedy, which also features the hilarious Drew Droege. (If you haven’t seen Droege’s YouTube clips, where he impersonates a name-dropping Chloe Sevigny or an unhinged Tanya Roberts, you’ve been doing the Internet all wrong.) Sassy Pants is in post-production, so it could turn up in theaters by the end of the year. As for Osment, who’s spent most of the last decade doing video-game voice-over work, kissing a man and getting Sassy might open up a whole new chapter to his career.
WILL KATE HUDSON BE OPEN FOR LOVELACE?
THE HORROR OF JESSICA LANGE’S LATEST CAREER MOVE
The biopic that was going to star Lindsay Lohan as Linda Lovelace isn’t happening anymore, but there’s still a push to get the life of the legendary Deep Throat star on the big screen. Gay filmmakers Robert Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman, fresh off their triumph of turning James Franco into Allen Ginsberg in Howl, are prepping Lovelace, rumored to have Kate Hudson interested in the lead role. The real Lovelace, later in life, said that she was forced to participate in the film by her then-husband, leading her to become an outspoken feminist and porn critic, but it remains to be seen what direction the movie will take with her life. The filmmakers’ previous credits include The Times of Harvey Milk and The Celluloid Closet, so they’re good at both biographies and pop-culture histories. Lovelace is still in pre-production, so no need to pick out a new raincoat just yet.
Jessica Lange’s career-long fear of appearing on a weekly television series is coming to an end, thanks to horror – specifically, a new job on Ryan Murphy’s upcoming pilot, American Horror Story. And OK, yes, maybe “fear” is the wrong word for the Oscar-winner’s lack of presence on the small screen; perhaps it’s just been plain, old-fashioned disdain all these years. But Lange will now be co-starring opposite Connie Britton on the spooky drama about – and this is every shred of plot that’s been made public to date – a therapist, his wife (Britton) and their nosy neighbor (Lange). After Glee wraps for the season later this month, production on Horror can begin and, with a potential series order, soon the scariest stuff we hear about a Ryan Murphy show won’t be the rumors of diva antics among the cast on the set of his all-singing, all-dancing high school musical.
Romeo San Vicente always makes it worth his nosy neighbors’ time. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.
Food and agriculture is Ohio's top industry.
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Like snowflakes, no two cows have exactly the same pattern of spots. I believe the same goes for kittens and puppies.
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Raising beef cattle is the single largest segment of American agriculture.
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Will you give us money? by Julie Roth
(and wallets) of audiences in innovative ways. How can arts organizations set themI would start off by stating that fund raising selves apart from the noise, rather than isn’t as easy as it used to be, but I can’t re- contributing to it, and continue to raise the member a time it was ever easy to ask for funds needed to provide our community money. with unique artistic experiences? Columbus arts organizations (along with countless non-profit groups) are more dependent than ever on individual donations, asking those who believe in their cause to express loyalty through dollar signs. And although the practice of asking for donations hasn’t changed, the environment has significantly evolved since many of these organizations were established, adding additional challenges to make ends meet. Take, for example, ProMusica. Even though the organization was established in 1978, during one of America’s recessions, monetary competition was still nowhere close to the level of today. According to David Schenk, the average American was exposed to 560 advertising messages in 1971 and close to 3,000 advertisements in 1997. Since then, we can only imagine how that number has multiplied through the creation of Facebook, Twitter, Google and Groupon. Competitors are fighting for the attention outlookcolumbus.com
Like advertisers, the arts industry must evolve with the changing needs of the people, stray from tradition (and the saying “if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it”), and embrace creativity. The arts are known for innovation, originality, and imagination. Shouldn’t these characteristics be obvious when asking for a donation? Donors want tangible evidence that their dollars are going to fund something great – something bigger than themselves and something in which they are proud to be connected. Does a semiannual “ask” letter or an annual fund drive really reflect the importance of their dollars and where the money goes? Most of us are quite familiar with a broad scope of fund raising methods. We’ve all been invited to a golf scramble, placed bids in a silent auction, or fed our hopeless addiction to Thin Mints. In all of these cases, the donor exchanges funding for something of value. But often ignored is a benefit of
even more value sought by givers – community. Pam Fessler of NPR states that “giving is about making people feel like they’re part of a larger community that is taking action for the cause.” She goes on to say that technology is the perfect channel to creating a simulated sense of community, which is increasingly defining our culture.
educating our audience in the pieces performed at a concert.
Fund raising is not impossible. But arts organizations cannot expect donors to pour out dollars unless the value of goods the organization provides is reflected in fundraising efforts. New challenges emerge as time passes, but so do new opportunities, While I would certainly never claim to be the especially including community and techexpert in creative fund raising, ProMusica nology. Patrons desire a unique and creative recently experimented with an effort called experience. Why not start that experience the “New Music Network,” which combined when asking for support? a unique experience, a sense of community, and a rewarding outcome. For an affordable If you’d like to take part in ProMusica’s biggest donation, members of the “club” supported fundraising event of the year, come to our Spring Soirée benefit and concert featuring pianist the commission of a brand new piece of music to be performed for the first time by Gabriela Montero on Friday May 6th at the Hotel and the Southern Theatre. Tickets ProMusica musicians. Not only did contrib- Westin are available from $30-$80 dollars and patron utors gain the satisfaction of funding packages start at $250. More information is something that has never been done before, available at www.promusicacolumbus.org or but they also gained rare access to the 614.464.0066. composing process and an online population of donors through a private blog written Julie Roth is Manager of Communications & Special Events for ProMusica Chamber Orchestra a member orby the composer. They met the composer ganization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. and sat in on the first rehearsal of the CAMA’s mission is to promote awareness of and participation in the arts and cultural opportunities in Greater piece, becoming some of the first ears to through collaborative marketing and public rehear new music. This program not only met Columbus lations projects, and to provide professional development ProMusica’s monetary goal, but also our or- opportunities for members. For information visit www.caganizational goal of further engaging and maonline.org.
The average farmer feeds 129 people with better production and higher yields because of weed control and biotechnology.
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The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
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an interview with gay filmmaker Javier Fuentes-Leon by Gregg Shapiro
and let’s make this what it should really be,” which is a love triangle between a fisherman and his wife Undertow/Contracorriente (Wolfe), the feature film and another man. And not only did it become more debut by gay writer/director Javier Fuentes-Leon, is personal as a film of course for me, but it also bea deeply moving romantic love story, with a ghost came, I thought, better drama. Because in a town story twist that will stir up an ocean of emotions in like this one for a man that is married to have an viewers. Fisherman Miguel (Cristian Mercado) and affair with another woman is not unheard of, it’s his wife Mariela (Tatiana Astengo) are anticipating actually quite common, and maybe his other friends the birth of their first child. A well-respected man in would think he’s cool for doing that. Whereas havhis village, Miguel is also carrying on a romantic re- ing an affair with another man is really a bad thing. lationship with gay artist Santiago (Manolo Cardona). Macho Miguel is unable to choose one over GS: You mentioned your coming out process and the other, but Santiago’s death and reappearance since you wrote the screenplay, how much of as a ghost that only he can see, has an unexpected Javier is in Santiago and Miguel? impact on his life. I spoke with Fuentes-Leon JF-L: I think there’s a lot. This is definitely not an shortly before his film was released on Blu-ray and autobiographical story. I am from Peru but I’m from DVD. the city, Lima, which is right next to the ocean. So I grew up with the ocean close to me, but I was never Gregg Shapiro: Before Undertow, you made a a fisherman. I never had somebody that I was in couple of short films. What was it about Undertow love with drown, so it’s not my story at all. I wasn’t that made you want to turn it into your feature married and about to be a father. But I definitely relength debut? late a lot to the fear and the journey of Miguel. The Javier Fuentes-Leon: The seed for Undertow comes fear of accepting himself, of looking at himself in from an exercise in class when I was studying film the mirror and saying “You are gay. I am gay.” And at Cal Arts here in L.A. I was taking a screen-writing also, the fear of being found out by other people. I class and they told us to write a scene. And they was also raised in a Catholic environment. I went to gave us a few conditions, like no more than three a Catholic school, a Catholic family. My family is not characters, one location, and try to create conflict fanatic Catholic, they are believers but they are not between them. And I wrote a scene right there in blinded by faith either. But it was around me a lot. I class which, with a few changes, is pretty much the think that everywhere, but especially in America, rescene in the kitchen where the fisherman walks in ligion has definitely shaped our views of sexuality, and finds the lover and starts to freak out and the and not only homosexuality but sexuality in general. wife wakes up and then he realizes that she cannot see him (the lover). And I wrote that not thinking of GS: I’m glad you mentioned the religious aspect, it becoming anything else but an exercise at that because there is a degree of the “down-low” asmoment. But it stayed with me and based on that I pect of that relationship in Undertow. Would you wrote a play called Mariela’s Kitchen, because it all say that religion plays a strong role in that partictook place in the kitchen. And then I wrote a short ular “down-low” culture in Peru as well as in film based on that play that somebody else directed other places? as their thesis film. And this is all ’96, ’97, ’99, and JF-L: Yeah. As I said, I think that religion has then it was in 2001 that I thought the story could be shaped our view of sex and what is right and what more and could become a feature film. Now the is wrong, and when sex is right. And, in terms of remain difference from all the previous versions, was ligion sex is only right when it leads to procreation. that, in the meantime I was in my own process of So everything else that doesn’t lead to procreation coming out. So previously the love triangle had been is a sin, at least in Catholicism. That’s why masturbetween a fisherman, his wife, and the prostitute of bation is a sin, contraceptives are a sin, and defithe town who was another woman. That’s how I nitely homosexuality. But even sex within a wrote that first scene for the screen-writing class marriage that doesn’t lead to procreation is not and the play and that short film that somebody else good. Maybe it’s changed a little, but that’s how sex directed. And it was more of a revenge story, like the was viewed for the longest time. And I think that ghost was more like a wronged woman who was has defined our view of sexuality. So in societies coming back to make the fisherman’s life hell. where religion is very present, even people that are not religious, or come from families that are less reGS: So it was scarier? Less romantic? ligious, it’s still defined society. And in Catholicism, JF-L: It was a little scarier. But it wasn’t a scary you hide your secrets, whatever you feel that society ghost story. But it wasn’t a romance. In that previ- is not going to approve. So there’s a big “downous version you could feel there had been a rolow,” as you say, in terms of gay people definitely. mance there between the fisherman and the It’s coming out more and it’s good. But people in my prostitute but by now it had all gone down. The rea- generation and the generation of my parents, espeson why she had drowned was because he had cially my parents, they had it way harder than I did, never showed up to meet her and then she got and my generation had it harder drunk and went into the ocean. So it was a different continued on pg 54 tone. But it was when I was on my own process of coming out that I decided, “okay let’s be real here outlookcolumbus.com
Cows are herbivores, so they only have teeth on the bottom.
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GS: Miguel talks about “being on good terms with God.” How do you think he justifies his dual life? JF-L: That’s a good question. I don’t know if he justifies it. I don’t know if he sits down to think about it. I think he’d just rather not put a lot of thought into it and that’s why when Santiago calls him on his bullshit he gets really mad. And that’s when he says, “I’m not like that.” Somehow he’s compartmentalized the feelings that he has for Santiago, and as this thing that he’d rather not have but unfortunately has, and therefore he acts on it. He feels that probably God will forgive him because he’s actually a good member of his society, a good father-to-be, a good husband. When you live in hiding there’s a little bit of a schizophrenic psychology going on in which you separate the person that you show to the public with the person that you really are or that you hide. I relate to that. And that is one of the horrible things about hiding who you really are is this divided personality and this act that you show a part of who you are, the part that you think people want to see. And you fall in love with that part sometimes, and that’s why it’s so hard to come out and say “I am gay,” sometimes because you’ve created, consciously and unconsciously, an image of yourself, for yourself and for the rest, and when you come out you basically have to bring down that image and with the same bricks create another one that is really closer to who you are. GS: Very well said. There’s also this really subtle humor in the movie, especially in some of the scenes between Santiago and Miguel. Was it important for you to have that? JF-L: Yeah, and I’m glad that it came through. When you read the script some people said, “Wow, this is heavy.” It is heavy, it’s melodramatic, the emotions are intense, and I’m not denying that that was part of the process. I love melodramas, melodramas from the 50’s, so I’m fine with the melodrama, but I feel that it needed some balance, some sense of humor. And that’s why I wrote scenes like the poker scene. By having a ghost you have the potential to create some funny moments.
tow is ultimately a ghost story, and if you don’t mind my saying so, it reminded me a bit of the 1990 Patrick Swayze/Demi Moore movie Ghost. Would you say that that movie was an influence? JF-L: Actually no. I knew that it is one of the most popular movies around, especially made by Hollywood, that shows a love story with a ghost. I would say that more of an influence was Doña Flor and Her Two Husbands. That’s a Brazilian film based on a novel, and this woman that has an alive husband and one that is dead who comes back to alleviate her a little of the boredom that she’s in. And the older lady, who plays the character of the aunt (in Undertow), her name is Doña Flor, and that is a direct homage to that movie. Its not that I wrote that scene or the play afterwards or even Undertow thinking of Doña Flor and Her Two Husbands and being inspired by it, and thinking that I wanted to write something similar. I just realized when I was writing Undertow that there are some similarities in terms of dimensions and all that with Doña Flor and Two Husbands. But I also saw Truly, Madly, Deeply and The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, there are a lot of films. There are some points in common, but none of them were a template.
ity as just… because a lot people that don’t have any connections to gay people or are not really surrounded by gay people, when they think about homosexuality they immediately just go to the sexual act. And that becomes a wall that they cannot get past, and see that behind that sexual orientation there actually is a whole human being that falls in love and has all the same human feelings and emotions that they do. So, if a film like mine can open and can humanize a love story between two men, I think that’s great. And I think that in some ways it has contributed. But in all honesty, what really is going to make a change, it’s not film. It’s got to be people coming out, and people around them having to deal with the fact that now they have somebody who they love that is telling them, “I am gay and I am happy being gay,” because it puts them in a crisis, like a dilemma. They have to choose between opening up their mind and getting to know this person who they love and already thought they knew in a way, or shutting them out of their life because they stick to their morals. I think that is really what will make a change. Film can help, art can help, but it’s people coming out that will make the change.
GS: There’s sort of this strong sense of homophobia of the people in the village – do you think that a movie such as Undertow has the power to change people’s perspective on the subject of gay life? JF-L: I would hope so. I think it’s touched people, some much more than others. And we’ve had some people come to us and say, “I would never have come to see this movie but my girlfriend dragged me and you had me crying.” I think out of the 44 awards that we’ve had for this film, half have come from the audiences. And not only audiences in gay film festivals. Whether it was Sundance or Cartagena or Miami or Utrecht in the Netherlands, it’s been received by all kinds audiences, which is great. So I think people have been surprised to connect to a love story between these two men and also of the fisherman and his wife. Because for me it’s really a love triangle, it’s not just a love story between two men. But I think that it maybe contributes to the conversation and maybe to humanize for people who just see homosexual-
GS: Have you begun work on your next film project? JF-L: I have three projects in development, but two are already written as screenplays. The one that is a little more advanced is a love story, once again, with magical elements. This time it’s between a man and a woman, a woman who cannot go into the sunlight because she bursts into flames when she comes into contact with the sun. She’s not a vampire, but she has that aspect. And the story starts when this human cannonball guy, who gets shot out of a cannon, and crashes into her roof. She lives in the forest in the middle of nowhere, alone, and she’s never really had any contact with other people. So the movie really starts when he crashes in her roof and creates a huge hole two hours before sunrise. So it’s this love story that starts really antagonistically and slowly, through them falling in love, she’s able to go into the sunlight. So it’s kind of like a metaphor for coming out again. The woman that is hidden in the darkness is able to come out to the sunlight. But there are no gay characters per se, but it’s definitely a gay sensibility, I would say.
GS: I’m glad you mentioned the poker scene, because Under-
Ohio is home to 12 flour mills that supply product to Ohio and the east coast.
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See if you can take one word from each ad and make a fun story or phrase. Kinda like Boggle to the max.
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Festival Fashion Faux Pas by Ryan Harris It’s that time of the year again when we all are deciding which festivals are worthy of our presence. From farmer’s markets to flea markets, art festivals to Pride festival, the choices are limitless. Regardless of which festivals you decide to attend this spring and summer, one thing is for sure.....people watching is always the number one form of entertainment. What people are wearing (or not wearing), always surprises me and tends to be what I discuss the most with my friends. So in order to make sure you don’t have a “What was I thinking” moment, let’s talk festival wears! First and foremost, remember that this isn’t a fashion show, so leave the designer goods at home, or at least limit it to your eyewear. There’s nothing wrong with wearing your Chanel shades, just don’t break out your Gucci sandals...seriously, it isn’t worth it! I would much rather ruin a pair of $5 flip flops trudging through dusty streets or wet grass. With that said, let’s start with the gals. As with anyone, you want to feel good about what you have on. You never know who you may run into, but keep it practical. In my opinion, the maxi dress was made for festivals. It’s lightweight, comes in any color or print your little heart could desire, and is always fashionable. Another great option would be a frock. Similar to the maxi, it
will give you style and comfort... trust me, you will be thanking me as you enter the ever so un-lovely port a johns! And lastly, and the most obvious, the classic tank top and shorts combo. You don’t need me to tell you why that’s the obvious choice, but just in case you do, this is the obvious choice. You can go a bit more girly and swap out the tank for a trapeze top and be just as comfy.
color shirt and doesn’t show dirt from sitting on the ground. If you want to truly make your day easy, go with cargo shorts. There are plenty of pockets to carry all your necessities, phone, wallet, chapstick, beer tickets… you name it, there’s a pocket for it!
When it comes to festival footwear for men, flip flops will keep your feet cooler but dirty, and canWhen it comes to your footwear, don’t over think vas sneakers or a classic pair of boat shoes howyour decision. The practical choice here would be ever, will keep them comfortable and clean. It’s sandals or ballet flats, and the more comfortable completely up to you! I prefer canvas sneakers so choice would naturally be a lightweight, low cut I can run to the car faster when it starts to rain, canvas sneaker. If you are going to be walkin’, because you know it always rains… always! you don’t want the dogs barkin’! Oh, and to the girl I saw last year wearing stilettos to Comfest, Regardless of if you are a guy or gal, we all need Ri-Dic-U-Lous! Okay, back on track. If you do de- something to carry around to hold our festival cide to go with sandals, remember that Gladia- survivor supplies and purchases. Messenger tors are adorable and fashionable, but they will bags are the most practical because they are so also give you the strangest tan lines you could easy to access, but they can become heavy and imagine. So if the festival is during a sunny day, annoying as they slide around. Fanny packs are take that into consideration. available, but do you really want to take the chance of being seen with one? Didn’t think so. Now to the boys. For the most part you have one My pick would be a back pack or drawstring bag. choice and one choice only when it comes to your Throw it over your shoulder or down on the festival wears. The T-shirt and shorts combo. ground, it’s just easy and after all, don’t we all Even though you have the ability to switch it up a like easy?? Thought so. bit, like swapping out the T for a tank, that’s about as far as I would go (unless you are one of Lastly I wanted to make sure you were caught up the folks I end up talking about, of course). Where on the local DRAUMA. You know I’m a sucker for a you do have options is in the shorts. I fully expect fashion show, and this upcoming event is going to see about 80% of guys in plaid, but for the to be fabulous. On May 25th, DRAUMA will be other 20%, stick with khaki. It will go with any held at the Bluestone, formerly known as BOMA.
It will feature music like DJ Babyboombox (rhymes with Mox, hmmm) and Peaches, art, fashion and a few surprises along the way. What am I most excited about? The fashion of course! Runway fashions will be shown by Rendezvous Hair Salon, Sugar Kitty Corsets, Lindsay Hearts, Army of Won, Label Yourself, and last but certainly not least, Kelli Martin of Anti-Label. If you love fashion, then you already know that Kelli Martin dazzled us with her designs on Project Runway, and this year at DRAUMA, she will debut her new line! If you aren’t planning on attending, you might want to reconsider...after all, you don’t want everyone to be talking about you… or do you? Pre-sale tickets are available at Rendezvous Hair Salon, Evolved Body Art, The Garden, The Agora Studio 112/Club Pink, and Torso or at liveatthebluestone.com. It will only set you back $25 if you don’t wait until the last minute, but if you do, don’t worry. You can still get tickets for $30 at the door. This event isn’t just about fun and fashion, but it also promotes breast cancer awareness through Keep-a-breast foundation. Now, how you going to pass this up? See you there! Oh, I almost forgot…Dress to Impress!! Make Everyday a Runway! Ryan Harris is a fashion consultant\stylist for Wardrobe Therapy LLC, and the owner of RH Model Mentor. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org, or for more style info visit www.wardrobetherapyllc.com.
Due to Global climate change, it’s predicted that cotton will become a viable crop in southern Ohio by 2050.
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Soybeans are an important ingredient for the production of crayons. In fact, one acre of soybeans can produce 82,368 crayons.
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Food is dramatic - Life is delicious. Episode 15 : My Sore, Wet, Hot, Tight, Bald Pussy... Just a Friendly Little Cat by American When we last found our girls, Jeanette was bemoaning the state of her hairless pubice, Trashley was convinced a little booze would fix everything, and Juanita was eating, and bitching, bitching and eating, and talkin’ up some PBS. They’d just finished some whiskey, and more than a little delicious bar fare at Barrel 44, when suddenly they found themselves tripping (or stripping) the light fantastic in a hot-tub time machine-esque caper. On a mission to find the perfect merkin for the ailing and hairless Jeanette Gherison, these girls could not be stopped. And that’s what happened in last months Food Drama. And so, our stage is set, and our players enter the scene… Suddenly, the lights in the bar began to dim, and the tables began to shake. On a wall by the door, what looked like a bath-house whirlpool appeared, starting very small, and growing until any trace of the wall had disappeared. “For life, liberty, and the pursuit of hairy junk!” screamed Trashley, as she jumped forward, taking all three girls with her. As they touched the surface of the pool, it began to ripple, and suddenly the girls, and the portal were gone. Seconds later, the girls were deposited with a loud thunk in the middle of what appeared to be a Mexican restaurant. “Where the fuck are we? Where did you dumb bitches take me?” asked Juanita, standing and brushing off her Khaki smock. Trashley slowly stood, and looked around in wonder. “I don’t know, girls, but we’re not in Kansas anymore…” “Gurrrl, this looks familiar –Maybe we’re trippin’. One time I was trippin’ so bad I thought my nipples were going to eat my toes, until Eddie George showed up and he worked me over so hard it was like we was buildin’ the Empire
State building, ya know what I’m saying, bitch?” said Jeanette, as she slowly lifted herself from ground. “Jeanette, I speak for everyone here when I say that one, not a one of us is your bitch, and two, we have not a fucking clue what you’re saying. That’s the truth, girl. Also, this place looks familiar because you used to work here. This is La Fogata,” said Juanita, her tone slightly terse. “This can’t be possible,” said Trashley, “We did everything right! The right amount of whiskey, I sacrificed a member of Mantourage in the bathroom before we left…” “Oh, Mantourage!” sighed Jeanette and Juanita in unison, both rolling their eyes in a ridiculously dramatic fashion. “I can’t imagine what happened…” Trashley trailed off thoughtfully. “If Trashley is imagining, this is obviously going to take a second,” said Juanita, as she motioned to a waitress and asked for a table. The girls were taken to a large black table in the back, and seated in red leather seats. The interior was beautiful - large wooden chandeliers, a long granite bar, and oranges and reds everywhere. They were brought three menus, ordered three margaritas, and the waitress withdrew to let these three great beauties consider their choices. “Didn’t we just eat?” asked Jeanette, who shouldn’t have looked as confused as she did, given she’d worked in this establishment before. “Shut up,” quipped Juanita, as she took a sip of her house lime margarita, which, as it was Monday, cost her only $1.99. When the waitress arrived, the three ordered a veritable south of the border schmorgasboard; a stunning array of food, more than one would or could reasonably expect to feed twice the number in their party. The first to arrive was the creamy and delicious
Queso dip, made with Queso fresco and a hint of chili. The girls began eating ravenously; Trashley used the Queso to draw complex mathematical equations on the table, as Jeanette dipped her entire hand into the small queso dish. Juanita frowned (which we’re seeing a lot of in this story, and explains the age lines) and just kept eating.
Betty Cracker was here last night eating bean burritos…” A look of wonderment appeared on Trashley’s face, which slowly turned to a look of smug selfsatisfaction. Juanita was NOT impressed.
When this was gone, the waitress appeared with their entrees. There was the Fogata Chimichanga Suprema for Juanita, a delicious shredded beef chimichanga deep friend and smothered in green chili sauce, cheese dip, lettuce, guacamole, sour cream and cheese, served with Mexican rice and beans. Trashley’s Burrito San Jose steamed, filling the air with the delicious combination of a flour tortilla stuffed with Mexican chorizo & potato, topped with cheese sauce, lettuce and sour cream with Mexican rice and Fried Beans on the side. And lastly, for the hairless one, the best selling item, the Pollo Loco - flavorful and fragrant housemade chorizo served over chicken breast and smothered in cheese, served with a side of guacamole and Mexican rice.
“So allow me to understand this - because Betty FARTED, the entire space time continuum was disrupted by the force of her emission, which caused temporal ripples to bounce us a few blocks down the street, conveniently for this dumb-ass story in a restaurant who advertises in this rag, a mere 45 minutes before this story hypothetically began?” Juanita’s tone was again, terse. Trashley shook her head yes, and took another heaping bite of chip and queso dip.
“Gurrrl, this yard bird is the ticket!” screamed Jeanette. “I swear, I’ve eaten here before!”
“Well this is just ridiculous. I promised myself I would never allow my travel plans to be dictated by other people’s farts. I’m going to Mary Ann’s. At least if it’s ridiculous there, I won’t have to be sitting with you two,” said Juanita as she threw her napkin onto the table, stood, and departed.
Trashley was eating her delicious looking San Jose burrito and looking thoughtful when she suddenly exclaimed, “I’ve got it!”
“Sorry, Jeanette. Looks like you’re just going to have to learn to live without pubes - even fake ones,” said Trashley dejectedly as she took a bite from another chip.
“Other than a crippling case of syphilis, and what can only be described as a less than casual relationship with spirits, kindly fill me, and this victim of society, in on what precisely you’ve got” cunted the nutrient and very, very terse Juanita as she dropped her fork unceremoniously into her lap. “Some nearly catastrophic event must have occurred. An earthquake, or a volcano, Union got an order right or Sandy Von Lipshitz performing the song ‘Jump.’ Something like that. But it must have occurred near this spot, otherwise we wouldn’t have been drawn to it.” As Trashley finished speaking, the waitress, who happened to be clearing plates, spoke up. “Well,
Cows must give birth to a calf in order to produce milk. We’re not sure what Chad Fryes excuse is.
Jeanette looked sad, and cast her eyes down at her feet. Several moments passed before she smiled, and looked up at Trashley, excited. “Girl, I have two questions; do you own cats, and can I live with you?” Trashley frowned “Don’t get any ideas, Jeanette. My pussy isn’t for your pussy. I’ll do a lot of things for a sister, sis. Time travel, river dance, tell people you’re a pillar of the community while pass-out drunk at Southbend Tavern, eat two dinners within twenty minutes of each other, but one thing I will NEVER do is sacrifice my cat so you can glue some bush to that barren tundra! Back to Maria Garrisons maintenance garage you go!” outlookcolumbus.com
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Two hot men, two electric chairs, two cute puppies and a double starry night...what more could you ask for?
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Research shows that drinking chocolate milk after exercising can help replenish muscles and aid recovery as well as, or even better, than popular sports drinks.
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by Dan Savage
didn’t know or didn’t have the decency to disclose. This guy’s willingness to disclose is eviI’m a young heteroflexible guy who has been a dence not just of his honesty and decency, HIV, “sugar baby” for a handful of wealthy older but of his respect for you and his commitment to guys. I love it! I get money, I have fun being keeping you safe. This guy is less likely to ask you with them, and the guys seem to like having me to engage in sex acts that are higher risk or unaround. The problem is that I just got with a safe than a guy who isn’t aware that he’s posinew guy who is really great except for one tive or is actively hiding the fact that he’s thing: He is HIV positive. He says that his doc- positive. And his interest in being “used and tors predict he won’t have a shortened life abused” creates lots of hot safe-sex-play options span and may not even have any symptoms - letting him beat off while he licks your boots or that would make his life uncomfortable. I like jerking him off while he’s tied to the bed with your the fact that he told me, and I am open to being jock in his mouth are no-risk sexual activities with him sexually even though I am HIV nega- that he’s likely to enjoy immensely. tive and want to stay that way. I’m a 24-year-old straight guy. I’ve been with He is VERY submissive - he wants to be used my girl for three years, and things are great and abused sexually, physically, and mentally. great sex life, great communication, etc. We My question is, what kinds of sex acts are okay have lots of sex - but for the last year or so, she to do with this guy? I read on one site that him has not been on birth control and we have not rimming me is fine, and on another that him been using condoms. We’re not against the giving me a blowjob with a condom is safe, too. idea of a child, but we aren’t currently going for But I can’t find a site that specifically explains it. I was always told that pulling out was a 100 which sex acts are safe and which ones aren’t percent ineffective method of birth control. So when one person is positive and one person is my question is, I guess, could there be somenegative. thing wrong with one of us? How could we have unprotected sex for a year without getting her Help In Virginia pregnant? We both really want children eventually and are worried it might not happen. It’s pretty simple, HIV: Sex acts that expose you to his semen and/or blood are definitely unsafe, and Sent From My iPhone sex acts that expose him to your semen and/or blood are mostly safe. Rimming you, blowing you Withdrawal is a much more effective birth control (even without a condom), getting fucked by you method than most sex advisers are comfortable (with a condom) - all very low risk for HIV trans- acknowledging. But facts are facts: A compremission. If he’s on a drug regimen and his viral hensive study conducted by researchers at the load is undetectable, HIV, your already-low risks Guttmacher Institute found that withdrawal was of being exposed while, say, accepting a blowjob almost as effective a birth control option as con(and a check) are even lower. The risks aren’t doms. (“Better Than Nothing or Savvy Risk-Renonexistent - all sex acts carry some degree of duction Practice? The Importance of Withdrawal,” risk - but if the risks were any closer to nonexist- Contraception, June 2009.) ent, they’d be sitting on nonexistent’s lap. “If the male partner withdraws before ejaculation And bear this in mind: Odds are good that some every time a couple has vaginal intercourse, of the other guys you’ve babied for - some of your about 4% of couples will become pregnant over previous daddies - were HIV positive and either the course of a year,” the authors of the study outlookcolumbus.com
wrote. That compares pretty favorably with the 2 percent of straight couples who will become pregnant using condoms perfectly over the course of a year. In the real world, of course, very few people do anything perfectly. When you take mistakes, leaks, and broken condoms into account, researchers estimate that 17 percent of straight couples who rely on condoms will become pregnant in any given year. Not all withdrawers use withdrawal perfectly, either - amazingly enough, some guys get distracted and forget to pull out as their orgasms approach - but the research shows that just 18 percent of straight couples who use withdrawal will get pregnant in any given year. So odds are good that you’re not infertile, SFMi, just lucky. I’m a young lesbian. I recently met a girl who’s cute, and I think we’re on the likely-to-havesex-soon track. The thing is, she confided in me that she’s participated in needle play in dungeon-party situations. I’m not someone who is turned off by kinkiness just ’cause it’s kinky, but it seems like even “safe” needle play is a recipe for STI transmission unless you’re playing with trained medical professionals. She says she gets tested regularly, but still, would it be really risky for me to sleep with her? Enthusiastic Reader Every time I’ve watched needle play in a dungeon-party situation - watched with my hands clamped over my eyes, peeking through the small spaces between my fingers - no one was being stuck with rusty needles by dirty-handed brutes. All the public needle-play scenes I’ve witnessed were ostentatiously sterile affairs: These kinksters, some of whom were trained medical professionals, made a big show of using alcohol wipes, cotton swabs, latex gloves, and clean sharps. I think it’s fair to ask this girl for more in-
There are 350 squirts in a gallon of milk. Squirts of what you may be wondering...
formation about her blood and needle experiences, about the safety precautions that her partners took, and about how recently she was tested. But rest assured, ER, that the most effective STI transmission routes involve sticking dicks in people in completely vanilla situations, not clean needles in dungeon-party situations. Here’s some information for MILK, the man who is aroused by the thought of being sprayed with his wife’s breast milk: It is common for newly lactating women to experience strong “milk ejection reflexes” during sex. This is induced by the hormone oxytocin, which is released during labor and orgasm, and when the milk “lets down” during breast-feeding. In other words: New mothers often spray milk when they get off. Most women are embarrassed when this happens, but at least MILK’s wife will know the first time it happens that her husband isn’t going to freak out about it. Breast-feeding Educator’s Sex Tips Thanks for sharing, BEST. CONFIDENTIAL TO AMERICAN LADIES: Republicans took the House of Representatives after campaigning on jobs, debt, and taxes. But it’s been nonstop assaults on Planned Parenthood and reproductive freedom ever since. The GOP is always going on and on about how they want to shrink the size of government, and now we know why: They want to stuff the government in your vagina. CONFIDENTIAL TO CANADIAN EVERYBODIES: Please go to www.shitharperdid.com, have a laugh, and then do what you can to send Stephen Harper packing or, failing that, deny him a majority. Pretty please? Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. email@example.com
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by Jack Fertig One step at a time, Scorpio!
e i d ed
by Chris Hayes When we say this month’s local celeb is delicious, we mean it in a variety of ways. Eddie Sheppard started his rise to fame some 32 years ago in a town west of Columbus known as Springfield. After some celebrated years at Shawnee High School, Eddie left America’s Home City for the lights of our metropolis. His first inclination was to head south and become a Cavalier at the University of Virginia, but luckily for us opted to attend The Ohio State University (Go Bucks!) instead and stay in his beloved State. There, this Buckeye studied Hospitality Management - which just might explain why he’s so hospitable - and quickly put his teachings to practice on his fellow classmates, if you know what I mean, honing his skills in customer service. Hubba hubba! If you weren’t serviced by Ed as a fellow buckeye in the late 90s, then you may know Sheppard from his work in the food & beverage trade. This hottie Virgo was always a bright sunny face at such haunts as Union Station (remember when it was good?), OSU Faculty Club and Vino Vino. He really cemented himself as an expert in the industry as GM of Sage in North Campus. He was the rage, and I know myself and gaggles of other gays made the trek north for not only the delicious food, but for our celeb’s personal treatment. He’s what made a regular dining experience into a night to remember. Thanks for that Ed! Today, Dimples has put on his big boy apron and heads up The Jury Room, (one of the oldest continually running restaurants in town and the newest Liz Lessner venture) as Executive Chef and General
Manager. It has quickly become my favorite brunch spot, not only because I can stumble home from there, but the cocktail and brunch menus designed by Shep are inventive and delicious. Our Frenchtrained chef is currently busy putting his mark on the dinner menu and the making his restaurant as green as possible by being heavily involved in Eartha Limted (see articles in this and last month’s outlook for more info). TJR currently recycles 100% of recyclable material including food waste, bottles and boxes. “I think all restaurants have a responsibility to become green,” Eddie tells me. “Yes we have to pay for the service; but you have to pay for what you believe in. Our restaurant wants to serve the community, without making the world hurt because of it.” When not making our bellies and Mother Earth happy, this cutie likes to drink, go to the movies, hang with friends, play the field (yes boys; he’s single and loving it), walk his dogs boxer Max and black lab Rufus, and of course dine out. “I love to see what other restaurants are doing and try other chef’s creations. This city has such an amazing food scene. I’m glad to be a part of it.” Besides the cuisine, our foodie du jour loves Cbus for a variety of things including our accessibility, our strong LGBT community, our local farmers and that we can get everything we need locally. “Buying local is key to Ohio’s sustainability, not to mention that commodities like food are all so fresh!” Speaking of fresh, should you see our flirty celeb out and about, show him some of your own hospitality by buying him a martini (if he’s just starting to hit the sauce) or a lesbian lager (Miller Light) or a shot. “I never refuse a shot!” he quips. Which is fitting, since this superstar would never refuse you service.
on safety, but also on your life’s priorities. Cultivate a After three weeks retrograde, Puritan work ethic without Mercury is turning direct getting hung up on their prudwhile conjunct Mars. New ery; a simple matter of “first ideas to fix recent problems things first!” are coming too fast and furious. Think carefully to pick LIBRA (September 23 – Octothe truly effective ones. Both ber 22): Trying to hold down planets are opposing Saturn, your partnership could be a so be careful not to blame but big mistake. It needs room to to work on better cooperabreathe and grow. That can tion. mean allowing room to let your love do things you don’t ARIES (March 20 – April 19): like. Mutually agreeable limits Faith in yourself may come a may require compromise. little too easy. Find someone you trust for confirmation and SCORPIO (October 23 – Noconstructive criticism. No, vember 21): You’ll reach your dear. You need that from goals one step at a time. An them! Solving the challenges obsessive rush to push ahead in a relationship is the test of can make you miss important true commitment. details, cause foolish mistakes and make simple things TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): more long and complicated. Knowing that you worry too Breathe, focus and relax! much about your health doesn’t mean there aren’t probSAGITTARIUS (November 22 – lems. Focus on real pains and December 20): Those powerrisks and get them checked ful creative impulses are sure out. Find the sensible middle to hit a wall, but so what? ground between worry and Take the challenge to improve neglect. upon your original idea, to make it more practical and GEMINI (May 21- June 20): effective. If it was that good Dreams for the future may be an idea to start with, it’s vastly excessive of the talents worth the effort. and materials you actually have to invest for them now. CAPRICORN (December 21 – Ideals should be beyond January 19): Domestic drama reach; goals just within. Don’t seems a distraction from build castles in the air, but on work you need to be doing. strong, solid foundations. Find a way to harness that energy and get the folks at CANCER (June 21- July 22): home to support you. That Your brilliant ideas at work won’t be easy, but the effort may feel unappreciated at can pay off big time! home. Perhaps the lack of enthusiasm is because your tal- AQUARIUS (January 20 – Febents are no surprise and they ruary 18): Examine new subexpect great things of you. jects from the ground up and Their support matters, but you review the basics on familiar may have to explain specifics topics. If you want higher purto get it. pose and inspiration find a Leo to help you develop your LEO (July 23 – August 22): basic ideas into a grand viYour brain’s afire with grand sion. ideas, but they need grounding in practical principles and PISCES (February 19 – March experience. Find an Aquarius 19): A sexual dry spell can be who knows the field. If he or a gift encouraging you to she says, “That won’t work,” focus on practical matters. ask how to make it work! Keeping your priorities clear is challenging, not impossible. VIRGO (August 23 – Septem- Money can come and go very ber 22): Sex without guilt is easily now. Work hard to keep fine, but sex without responsi- it coming and not going! bility is dangerous. Be clear Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977 teaches at the International Academy of Astrology www.astrocollege.com. He can be reached for personal or business consultations at www.starjack.com,
Today's American farmer feeds about 155 people worldwide. In 1960, that number was 25.8.
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