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March – July 2011

Book online at The Orchard Theatre, Home Gardens, Dartford, Kent, DA1 1ED




The Orchard is bursting with entertainment to suit all tastes with a jam-packed line-up of must-see shows accompanied by excellent-value dining, and all right in the very heart of Dartford. This season’s highlights include Michelle Magorian’s stunning Goodnight Mister Tom, the hilarious Phill Jupitus in Monty Python’s Spamalot, and a star-studded cast with Five Blue Haired Ladies Sitting On A Green Park Bench. Following the success of last year’s pantomime, our 2011-2012 production, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, is already on-sale and tickets are flying out of the window! We are delighted to be continuing our support of Great Ormond Street Hospital’s Theatres for Theatres appeal which aims to fund two, new state-of-the-art operating theatres. Local audiences have helped HQ Theatres, together with its sister company Qdos Pantomimes, raise over £70,000 in just a few months. Thank you! I hope that when you see a collecting bucket or tin with the Great Ormond Street Hospital logo on it around the Theatre, you will give what you can. Your generosity is appreciated. Theatre Director, Andy Hill and his team and volunteers want to ensure that each and every one of your theatre visits are unforgettable and look forward to welcoming you to The Orchard throughout our spectacular spring-summer season.

Nick Thomas Chairman; HQ Theatres/Qdos Entertainment

Nick Thomas

Andy Hill

©2007 Great Ormond Street Hospital Children’s Charity (Theatres for Theatres ©2008) Registered charity no. 235825

The Orchard is managed on behalf of Dartford Borough Council by HQ Theatres Ltd, a Qdos Entertainment Company.


Mon 28 February–Sat 5 March | 7.30pm, Sat Matinee 2pm

Stand Up And Be Counted! A hysterical and hard-hitting look at the world of stand-up comedy. Bigoted comic Eddie Pierce faces his critics and peers in a concert that no-one could imagine, with an outcome that no-one could predict. Old School Eddie (Jim Davidson) faces up to the cream of new comedians, including Earl T Richards (Matt Blaize) who is politically correct, brilliant…and black! Stand Up And Be Counted! gives us a ringside seat as gay icon Billy Simpson (Lloyd Hollett) and TV’s newest talent Ellie Jayne (Rachael Barrington) share a dressing room with Britain’s most controversial comedian Eddie Pierce, along with Eddie’s faithful tour manager and conscience Stan (Philip Childs). The show is co-directed by Clare Kissane, who is playing Suzie Pierce, Eddie’s long-suffering wife. This ‘pull no punches’ play is full of drama and comedy and provides us with a look inside the minds of these troubled entertainers. Stand Up And Be Counted! will leave you breathless and gagging for more!

Book Online

Starring Jim Davidson, Matt Blaize, Clare Kissane, Philip Childs, Lloyd Hollett, Rachael Barrington Tickets £19.50–£28.50 Matinee £17.50–£21.50 Opening Night Offer £5.00 off all fullpriced tickets Concessions £5.00 off all full-priced tickets Premiere Card Two tickets for the price of one on Mon 28 February Groups 10+ £6.00 off all tickets plus one in twenty goes free (excludes lowest price) Service Personnel £3.00 off top two prices (Maximum two tickets per person. Military ID must be produced.)

Not recommended for under 16s.

Tue 8–Sat 12 March

Adapted by David Wood

George’s Marvellous Medicine

Tue 7pm, Wed & Thu 10.30am & 1.30pm, Fri 7pm, Sat 11am & 2.30pm

The Birmingham Stage Company presents Roald Dahl’s amazing story about a young boy who makes a marvellous new medicine to cure his Grandmother of her terrifying temper. But when his Grandmother drinks his special new potion, the most incredible things start to happen. And George’s adventure has just begun! This show follows the company’s acclaimed productions of Horrible Histories, Why The Whales Came and Danny the Champion of the World. If you’re looking for fizztickling fun and wizzpopping magic for all the family, then don’t miss George’s Marvellous Medicine. See a trailer of the show at

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Tickets Adults £14.00 Children £11.00 Family Ticket £44.00 (two adults, two children), Schools £9.00, plus one teacher goes free with every ten pupils Premiere Card Family Ticket £40.00 (two adults, two children)

‘It’s cacophonously good fun! An exceptionally pungent and effective piece of kids theatre. It's a riot!’. Time Out 5



Having enjoyed sensational reviews, Bill Kenwright’s ‘Amazing’, ‘Superb’, ‘Wonderful’ and ‘Brilliant’ production of Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber’s sparkling family musical continues to enjoy huge success across the country with standing ovations at every performance. Keith Jack, the hugely popular runner-up who finished just a hair’s breadth behind winner Lee Mead in the hit BBC series Any Dream Will Do, takes on the title role, having won the hearts of the nation with his sparkling charisma and sensational singing voice. Retelling the Biblical story of Joseph, his eleven brothers and the coat of many colours, this magical musical is full of unforgettable songs including Any Dream Will Do, Close Every Door To Me and One More Angel.






Tue 15–Sat 19 March Tue & Wed 2.30pm & 7.30pm; Thu 1pm & 7.30pm; Fri 3.30pm & 7.30pm; Sat 1.30pm, 4.30pm & 7.30pm Tickets Tue/Wed 2.30pm, Thu 1pm & Fri 3.30pm £18.50 Tue/Wed/Thu 7.30pm £18.50, £20.50, £22.50 Fri 7.30pm, Sat 1.30pm, 4.30pm, 7.30pm £20.50, £24.50, £26.50 Premiere Card Two for one on Tue 15 March 7.30pm Concessions £2.00 off (Tue, Wed, Thu 7.30pm only) Groups 8+ 20% off Family Ticket £70.00 (two adults, two children)

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Fri 11 March & Fri 17 June 7pm

Sat 12 March, Sat 18 June 7pm

COMEDY CURRY With cracking comedians and a delicious buffet, this will be the spiciest night out you have this year. The Orchard offers you the chance to get together over a delicious authentic curry buffet whilst enjoying hilarious performances from comedians brought to you by our resident comedy company.

Sun 13 March | 7.45pm

Mary Wilson of The Supremes

Enjoy a sumptuous three-course meal as you solve the mystery unfolding before your very eyes! Watch the scenes, interrogate suspects and search for hidden clues whilst sampling the exquisite cuisine of The Circle Restaurant. Always popular and very entertaining! Tickets £36.00

Tickets £30.00

It was a vision of musical stardom, as a Detroit teenager, that inspired Mary Wilson to become part of what turned into the most successful female singing group in recording history – The Supremes. With a successful solo career, an equally successful literary career, and an esteemed performance at the White House, Mary Wilson is now touring the UK and will be performing hits of The Supremes including Where Did Our Love Go, Stop In The Name Of Love and Baby Love. Special guests The Chi-Lites have a string of hits to their name including Have You Seen Her, You Don’t Have To Go and Oh Girl. Tickets £28.50

Tickets 01322 220000

Book Online


Sun 20 March | 7.30pm

Mon 21 March | 7.30pm

Tue 22 March | 7.45pm

The Circus of Horrors

Sing-a-long-a ABBA

An Evening of Clairvoyance with Psychic

10th Anniversary Tour

Tony Stockwell

The Four Chapters From Hell The Circus of Horrors return with a brand-new production, The Four Chapters From Hell. This spectacle has had a revamp and is even more rocking and shocking. The story will take the audience on a journey through The Circus of Horrors incarnations.

The producers of the international smash hit Sing-a-long-a Sound of Music present another fun-packed interactive evening, this time featuring the classic sound of Swedish supergroup, ABBA.

With live singers on stage, a party bag for everyone, fancy dress, The show contains some of the Dancing Queen competition, the greatest, most bizarre and beautiful big screen with lyrics and of course circus from dare devil flying trapeze some of the best music you’ll ever to a vampiric crow woman suspended hear – Sing-a-long-a ABBA is the only by her hair, from whirlwind perfect night out for all. So get out roller skaters to sword swallowers. your blue eye shadow, put your All this plus pickled and bendy people, platform boots on, warm up your Voodoo Warriors, Knife throwers and vocal chords and hurry down to an almighty cast of 26 of the wildest, have the time of your life! weirdest but most of all greatest Fancy dress is not obligatory but performers on earth. highly recommended.


Tickets 241 £15.00, £17.00, £20.00, £24.50 Concessions £2.00 off Tickets £18.50 Premiere Card Two tickets for the price of one Groups 10+ One in ten goes free Groups 10+ Buy ten tickets get one free

Psychic Medium, Tony Stockwell, has been working for some 20 years and is constantly striving to push the boundaries of his communication. Tony has been seen on television programmes and has taught at some of the most respected schools for mediumistic development. Legions of people have witnessed his unique gifts first hand and can testify what he does is truly amazing. An Audience with Tony Stockwell is experimental/ investigational. There are no guaranteed or certain results and the show is for the purposes of amusement/entertainment.

Tickets £20.50, £22.50

Sarah Millican Mon 7 March | 8pm SOLD OUT



Wed 23 March | 7.30pm

Thu 24 March | 7.30pm

Fri 25 March | 7.45pm

Think Floyd

Chas and Dave

The Counterfeit Stones

The Farewell Tour

Exhale On Main Street Think Floyd, dubbed ‘the definitive Pink Floyd experience’, are renowned for their stunning celebration of the music of Pink Floyd. The group have managed to recreate faithfully the atmosphere, visual magnitude and musical genius of one of the world’s most legendary rock phenomena. After over a decade of touring theatres and venues around the UK, Think Floyd have built up the reputation of ‘The UK’s number one Pink Floyd tribute band’. The band’s new show for 2011 will feature the whole range of classic Pink Floyd from Barrett, through The Dark Side Of The Moon and Wish You Were Here to The Division Bell. This is a must-see evening for all Floyd fans and is sure to sell fast.

Dave has decided to come out of retirement for one final tour with a show dedicated to the whole history of Chas and Dave. Chas and Dave began writing and performing songs together in 1972, having been friends since the early sixties. The evening begins when Chas and Dave’s success began in 1979 with their pub set before continuing through all their hits from the past years. Chas ‘n’ Dave are great musicians and always put on an entertaining show. They have gained a cult audience of both young and old and due to public demand they are about to be seen together on stage once more. Tickets £23.50 Premiere Card £5.00 off a pair of tickets

Tickets £18.50

Book Online

The Counterfeit Stones theatre show is essentially a musical mockumentary of the Rolling Stones’ colourful history from 1962 and chronologically includes the greatest hit songs, fashion and vintage instruments from nearly five decades. A series of humorous spoof film clips depicting the events that turned a scruffy blues band into a legend, link the musical numbers. You’ll rock with laughter!

‘Better than the originals’ The Guardian

‘The most famous Stones band in England’ Sir Mick Jagger Tickets £19.00

ROYAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA 2011 SERIES – SUBSCRIBE & SAVE! Fri 1 April & Sat 11 June & Sat 26 November Fri 1 April | 7.30pm

AN ENGLISH RHAPSODY A quintessentially English programme of evocative music, including Vaughan Williams’ The Lark Ascending, Elgar’s Salut D’Amour, Coates’ The Dam Busters March, Adinsell’s Warsaw Concerto and Handel’s Music for the Royal Fireworks: Suite. Conductor: Nicholas Cleobury Violin: Clio Gould Piano: Roderick Elms

Sat 11 June | 7.30pm

LAST NIGHT OF THE PROMS Have your Union Jacks at the ready for a classic evening of Proms anthems and flag-waving favourites including: Holst’s I Vow to Thee, My Country, Suppé’s Light Cavalry Overture, Parry’s Jerusalem, Verdi’s La Traviata: Sempre libera, Arne’s Rule Britannia, Barber’s Adagio for Strings and Elgar’s Pomp and Circumstance March No.1, plus many more! Conductor: Stephen Bell Soprano: Rebecca Bottone

Sat 26 November | 7.30pm

ORCHESTRAL MASTERPIECES Showcasing the tremendous musicians of this world-renowned symphony orchestra, this programme features Mendelssohn’s atmospheric Hebrides Overture, Beethoven’s heroic Piano Concerto No.5, ‘Emperor’ and Tchaikovsky’s powerful Symphony No.5. Conductor: Grzegorz Nowak Piano: Piers Lane Tickets £20.00–£32.00

SUBSCRIBE & SAVE! Book for all 3 concerts in the 2011 series and receive: 20% DISCOUNT on all tickets / 1 FREE Royal Philharmonic Orchestra CD / 1 FREE Premiere Card membership / 1 FREE coffee or tea voucher per ticket purchased.

DISCOUNTS Groups 10+ Buy ten tickets get one free plus a free concert programme for each member of your group. Premiere Two tickets for £50.00 Concessions £2.00 off Under 16s £15.00 Terms and Conditions: Discounts cannot be used in conjunction with any other offers and apply to new ticket bookings only. Subscription tickets must be booked in one transaction. One CD and one Premiere Card membership per subscription transaction – CD will be a single disc from the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra’s CD collection.






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Mon 4–Sat 9 April | 7.30pm Wed & Sat Mat 2.30pm

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT... Audiences all around the world have been roaring with laughter since Monty Python’s Spamalot, by Eric Idle and John DuPrez, won the Tony Award for Best Musical in 2005. Spamalot tells the legendary tale of King Arthur and the knights of the Round Table and features a bevy (or possibly a brace) of beautiful show girls, witch burnings (cancelled – health and safety) not to mention cows, killer rabbits and French people. The show features the hilarious songs He Is Not Dead Yet, Knights Of The Round Table, Find Your Grail and, of course, the Nation’s Favourite Comedy Song ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE. Don’t miss your night with the Knights of The Round Table at the most infectiously funny musical of the millennium. Tickets £24.50–£32.50 Groups 10+ 20% off

Tickets 01322 220000

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Sat 26 March | 7.45pm

Mon 28 March | 7.30pm

Wed 30 March | 7.45pm

Joe Brown

Jayne Middleton

That’ll Be The Day

as Annie Lennox

25th Anniversary The UK’s premier Rock ‘n’ Roll legend Joe Brown returns after another remarkable year. 2008 marked Joe’s 50th year as a professional entertainer and he truly is one of this country’s best-loved, enduring, and most acclaimed musicians. Joe, along with his band, is back by popular demand in another two-hour musical celebration. Joe has had many achievements in the music industry including a Gold Record for 100,000 sales of his Very Best Of album and, more recently, in 2009 he also received MOJO magazine’s coveted Outstanding Contribution To Music Award and an MBE. Joe Brown always promises a sensational show – this is your chance to see one of the all-time great talents live!

Jayne Middleton presents her brilliantly accurate tribute to the enigmatic Annie Lennox. The show is a beautifully-produced biography, which covers both the solo career and the chart hits of ‘The Eurythmics’. With over a decade of professional experience gained via appearances worldwide, Jayne and her superb musicians have truly mastered the art of outstanding, quality performance.

‘Jayne Middleton is a stunning Annie Lennox look-alike and sound-alike and she brought such raw emotion to Lennox’s most revealing song ‘No More I Love Yous’ that I found her rendition quite moving. What a thoroughly superior tribute artiste – surely one of the best there is’. Show revue – ‘The Stage’

The legendary That’ll Be The Day, the UK’s most successful touring rock ‘n’ roll production, returns with their 25th Anniversary show. Trevor, Gary and the gang are back with the show’s ‘greatest hits’ featuring the most popular feel-good comedy routines and favourite hits from the 50s, 60s and 70s which have been performed in the show over the last 25 years. We guarantee you’ll be on your feet and dancing before the night is over. 25 years and still rocking!

‘Non-Stop Nostalgia!’ The Express Tickets £22.50

Sally Morgan Tue 29 March | 7.45pm

Tickets £25.00

Tickets £17.50 Premiere Card £15.00

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Wed 13–Sat 16 April | 7.30pm, Sat Mat 2.30pm Dartford Amateur Operatic and Dramatic Society DAODS, the company that brought you Thoroughly Modern Millie, The Wizard of Oz and most recently My Fair Lady, are proud to present the much-loved western musical, Calamity Jane. Calamity Jane is a musical based on the stage play by Charles K Freeman with musical lyrics by Paul Francis Webster and music by Sammy Fain. The story is around a guntooting tomboy Calamity Jane and her stubbornness about finding real love in the wild west. The stage version includes the unforgettable songs; The Deadwood Stage, It’s Harry I’m Planning To Marry, Once I had A Secret Love and Black Hills Of Dakota.

Tickets Wed & Thu £16.00, £17.00 Fri & Sat Eve £17.00, £18.00 Sat Mat £15.00, £16.00 Concessions £1.00 off Family Ticket £60.00 Fri 7.30pm only (must include at least one child under 16) Groups 10+ Buy ten tickets get one free




Thu 31 March | 7.45pm

Sat 2 April | 7pm

Sun 3 April | 7.30pm


Dartford’s Young Gifted

Steeleye Span

10cc, one of the most successful groups of the 70s, embark on a nationwide tour to coincide with the release by Universal of their album, The Greatest Hits and More.

The Orchard are proudly presenting Dartford's Young Gifted (or DYG), a ground-breaking artistic event taking place for the first time in Dartford. Its aim is to alter the sometimes negative media perception of young people by showing them in a positive manner and providing them with the opportunity to showcase and develop their artistic talents.

Steeleye Span changed the face of folk music when they left their small local clubs for the bright lights of international touring. 2011 reunites Maddy Prior with her former band members, fiddler extraordinaire Peter Knight, Rick Kemp on bass, Peter Zorn on Guitar and Liam Genockey on the drum stool. This will undoubtedly be an unmissable evening of English folk-rock.

10cc have had more than ten top hits including three Number Ones. In this show 10cc’s Graham Gouldman, Rick Fenn, Paul Burgess, Mick Wilson and Mike Stevens will be performing hit after hit including Rubber Bullets, I’m Not In Love, Dreadlock Holiday, Donna, Art For Art’s Sake, Good Morning Judge, The Things We Do For Love, I’m Mandy Fly Me, Life Is A Minestrone, The Dean And I and The Wall Street Shuffle.

All aspects of the show are being managed by a young people’s committee. They are planning the show, organising the acts and raising the funds to give their contemporaries/community an enjoyable and worthwhile DYG experience, with all proceeds going towards future events.

Tickets £24.50, £26.50 Tickets £8.00 Under 18s £6.00

Tickets 01322 220000

Tickets £19.50


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Sun 10 April | Starts 9am Registration from 8am

Sun 17 April | 4.30pm & 8pm

Mon 18 April | 8pm

Summer Youth Project Auditions

The Solid Silver 60s Show

Al Murray

We are looking for 250 enthusiastic and talented young people aged from nine to nineteen to be part of a very special production of High School Musical as singers, actors, dancers and technicians.

Now in its 26th year, The Solid Silver 60s Show brings together the unforgettable talents of Dave Berry, Chris Farlowe, Wayne Fontana, Terry Sylvester (formerly of The Hollies) all backed by Vanity Fare and very special guests The Merseybeats.

Following the huge success of his 2010 tour, Al Murray The Pub Landlord is extending time at the bar and heading to The Orchard for one almighty ‘lock-in’. In his new show, Barrel of Fun Extra, Britain’s best-known Pub Philosopher goes back to the basics serving up his own special brew of bar room banter.

In just two weeks, under the supervision of a highly-skilled production team including a professional director, choreographer, musical director and musicians, you will fullrehearse and perform High School Musical! Further information and application forms are available online at or from our Ticket Office.

This concert is jam-packed with classic hits including The Crying Game, Handbags and Gladrags, He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother, The Air That I Breathe and Don't Turn Around. Hear the classic hits performed by the original hit-makers!

The Pub Landlord Barrel of Fun Extra

‘The way he integrates the crowd into the show is awe-inspiring’ The Times Tickets £25.50 plus £2.50 booking fee

Tickets 4.30pm £22.50, £20.50 8pm £25.00, £23.00



PUT THAT LIGHT OUT, MISTER TOM! Re-live the memories of our country’s battling strength and be inspired by our country’s greatest victory.

Tue 12 April | 9.30am–11.30pm Craft Workshop at The Orchard’s Circle Restaurant

Tue 12 April | 12 noon The Orchard, Dartford Library, Dartford Museum, KCC’s Dartford Extended Learning, Dartford Amateur Operatic and Dramatics Society and The Reporter have joined forces to offer a historical fortnight themed around World War II to coincide with performances of a new stage version of Michelle Magorian’s stunning novel, Goodnight Mister Tom, at The Orchard, Dartford. From Mon 11–Sun 24 April The Orchard will host a World War II themed exhibition and there is also an abundance of fun, yet educational events, all linked into this momentous period in our country’s history hosted at various locations across Dartford, all provided for only £2.00 per person*. All events can be booked by calling The Orchard Ticket Office on 01322 220000. Places are strictly limited so book early to avoid disappointment!

Michelle Magorian at Dartford Library As well as reading from her much-loved novel, Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian will take questions from the audience.

Tue 12 April | 1.30pm–3.30pm Craft Workshop at The Orchard’s Circle Restaurant

Wed 13 April 10am–12 noon | Age 10+ Ration Cooking at Dartford Technology College Cook war-time food under the guidance of a professional chef.

Wed 13 April | 1.30pm War-Time Sing-A-Long at The Orchard’s Circle Restaurant Performed by Dartford Amateur Operatic and Dramatics Society Sing-a-long to your favourite war-time classics or listen whilst enjoying tea and cakes in The Orchard’s Circle Restaurant.

Thu 14 April | 12 noon Tom Powis at The Orchard’s Circle Restaurant Learning about how Goodnight Mister Tom made it from page to stage when Tom Powis, from the producers of Goodnight Mister Tom and The Children’s Touring Partnership, discusses how the production has progressed.

Thu 14 April | 6.30pm Late-Night Library at Dartford Library Hear Dartford Borough Museum’s Manager present a highly informative illustrated introduction entitled ‘Home Front Dartford 1939-45’.

Fri 15 April | 1.30pm Throughout the fortnight, Dartford Library will be running a special book promotion, Keep Calm and Carry On, with great books which evoke the decade that inspired Goodnight Mister Tom. Go along to the Library and borrow a book!

Afternoon Tea-Dance at The Orchard’s Circle Restaurant Grab your partner by the hand and make your way to The Orchard’s War-time Tea-Dance.

Saturday 16 April | 12 noon–4pm Step Back In Time at Dartford Library Erith & District Old Timers take us back to 1940s Dartford, held in Dartford Library Gallery. Drop-in event.

Tue 19 April | 10.30am–4.30pm Libraries & Archive

Family History Research Day at Dartford Library Contact Dartford Library on 08458 247 200 to reserve your place.

Tue 19 April 2pm–4pm | Age 7+ The Evacuee Experience at Dartford Library Interactive talk and craft session.

Wed 20 April Q&A Session With Sophie Lifschutz at The Orchard Theatre Join us after the 10am performance of Goodnight Mister Tom for a Q&A with Goodnight Mister Tom's Staff Director. *Ticket holders only.

Thu 21 April | 6.30pm Historical Library Tour at Dartford Library Take a guided tour behind the scenes of Dartford Library and learn about its history and its usage during World War II.

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Tue 19–Sat 23 April Tue 7pm, Wed 10am & 7pm, Thu 1pm & 7pm, Fri 7pm, Sat 2.30pm & 7pm

The Children’s Touring Partnership presents The Chichester Festival Theatre production of

Goodnight Mister Tom One of the most uplifting stories ever written, Michelle Magorian’s stunning Goodnight Mister Tom, is brought gloriously to life with this brand new stage adaptation by David Wood – the UK’s “National Children’s Dramatist” (The Times), directed by Angus Jackson.

Tickets £10.00–£24.50 Concessions £1.50 off Schools One in ten goes free Family Ticket £60.00 (two adults, two children)

Set during the dark and dangerous build-up to the Second World War, Goodnight Mister Tom follows sad William Beech, who is evacuated to the idyllic English countryside and builds a remarkable and moving friendship with the elderly recluse Tom Oakley (played by the Oliver award-winning Oliver Ford Davies from Star Wars and Kavanagh QC). All seems perfect until William is devastatingly summoned by his mother back to London.

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A tale of two broken souls at very different ends of the age scale, Goodnight Mister Tom celebrates the value of love and proves that friendship knows no barriers. This brand-new production marking the 30th Anniversary of Goodnight Mister Tom is a heart-warming and inspiring evening, perfect for schools and families.

Oliver Ford Davies

‘A marvellous story that knows just how to grab the emotions’ The Guardian Photo: By permission of the Imperial War Museum



Tue 26 April | 11am

Wed 27 April | 7.30pm

Thu 28 April | 2.30pm

Chris & Pui

Dominic Kirwan

We’ll Meet Again

Roadshow 2011

Through the Years

10th Anniversary Tour

CBeebies’ most popular and established double-act, Chris Jarvis and Pui Fan Lee, invite their young audience to join them at The Orchard for their fun-packed roadshow.

Dominic Kirwan brings his dynamic, vibrant performing style, coupled with his rich voice and wide repertoire to The Orchard. With his live band, Dominic Kirwan celebrates 21 successful years in music with this brand new show Through the Years.

We’ll Meet Again is the great fun and damp-eyed nostalgic show that will leave you with a warm and sentimental glow.

Chris Jarvis and Pui Fan Lee have been the main faces on CBeebies since it started and remain top of the tots with their new high-rating show broadcast every weekday on CBeebies. This new show is packed with fantastic songs and games as Chris and Pui bring some of their on-screen antics to the stage. Tickets Adults £12.00 Children £10.00

This unforgettable evening has something for music fans of all ages with a fresh look at the finest Country, Pop and Traditional Irish music alongside Dominic’s trademark show-stopping ballads. Tickets £18.50

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Tickets 01322 220000

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This rousing Wartime Cavalcade is the perfect way to spend your afternoon recalling an era to be proud of, when the spirit of Britain was at its highest. Tickets £13.00 Tea & Cake Join us for a cup of tea and a slice of cake prior to the afternoon show. Booked in advance by calling the Ticket Office. Only £3.00 Show & Lunch Book the show and a two-course lunch at The Circle Restaurant for just £25.00.

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The perfect accompaniment to your theatre visit! Our menu has been chosen to make your visit to The Orchard delicious, unique and memorable. You will get the freshest local seasonal produce, cooked simply and expertly presented – all complemented by our wine list exclusively chosen for The Circle Restaurant. Book your table when you purchase your tickets and make your theatre visit truly an event to remember!

Bistro Menu

Host Your Event! Whether you want to celebrate a special birthday or anniversary, host your wedding or civil ceremony, entertain valuable clients or just add some VIP magic to your theatre visit, we can build a package to suit you. We can offer a full-service sit-down menu or canapé reception with bubbly before the show; host your wedding with a ceremony and a dinner in the Theatre's auditorium; or even just deliver your ice-creams to your seats. Our Hospitality Department can expertly plan your event with a variety of menus, drinks packages, entertainment and flowers. Call our Hospitality Department on 01322 220099 and reserve your date!

On selected show dates, not only can you enjoy our range of freshly made sandwiches or contemporary À La Carte menu in our restaurant, but, we now offer a hot, fast and very tasty menu that can be served anywhere in our foyer. This delicious new Bistro menu will be available two hours before the performance or you can pre-order and then eat during the interval.

Coffee Shop Relax with a freshly-made cappuccino or latte, prepared by our Maestro Barrista using the finest Lavazza coffee. The Orchard Coffee Shop offers you luxurious coffees as well as delicious snacks and tempting cakes, all freshly prepared daily in our kitchens.

Curry & a Pint £10.00

Tea & Cake (post show) £3.00 Book in advance by calling the Ticket Office.

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Family Meal Deal Family of 4 eat for only £20! Meal Deal includes: 1 x 12 inch home baked pizza 1 x bowl Fusilli pasta with a fresh tomato and basil sauce 1 x bowl mixed green salad 1 x garlic baguette Meal deal is available for up to four persons and with a maximum of two adults and two children (under sixteen).

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Two Main Meals for the price of One Lowest priced meal is complimentary. 21



Fri 29 April | 7.45pm

Sat 30 April | 2pm

Sun 1 May | 7.30pm

They Will Rock You

The Chuckle Brothers

Dennis Locorriere

plus special guest Meet Loaf

The Ghostly Shadows

It’s back, and this time prepare to be regally rocked as the UK’s authoritative Queen concert show is joined by Terry Nash’s acclaimed Meet Loaf. They Will Rock You faithfully recreates the fun, musicianship and showmanship of Queen in concert and revives all the drama of Meat Loaf live. With a score featuring Bohemian Rhapsody, Another One Bites The Dust and We Are The Champions plus Bat Out Of Hell, I’d Do Anything for Love and It’s All Coming Back To Me Now, prepare to be rocked till you drop!

Join Paul and Barry Chuckle in their latest hilarious adventure full of ghosts and ghouls and some spectacular magic!

Tickets £12.50

Barry Potty and his full blood brother, Paul, arrive accidentally at Pigsnorts School of Magic where the evil Lord Fonterall is plotting to take over the school! Will he win and stop The Chuckle Brothers in their attempt to spoil his evil and wicked plan? Recommended ages: 3 to 103!

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Alone Again 2011 with special guest Emily Maguire Dennis Locorriere’s voice is immediately recognised worldwide but his own story is much more than Dr Hook for whom he was the permanent lead singer. Building upon three critically acclaimed solo CDs, his contemporary achievements now feature some brand new releases, The publication of Whatever’s Burning Now a Book of his Poetry & Cartoons and Post Cool Live DVD filmed at Glasgow Royal Concert Hall. Dennis Locorriere is renowned worldwide as a superb musician, singer and explosively engaging performer.

Tickets £21.50 Tickets £21.50

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Mon 2 May | 7.30pm

Tue 3 May | 7.30pm

Wed 4 May | 7.30pm

Joe Longthorne

Tango Fire

The Shaolin Warriors

Flames of Desire

Direct from China! Joe Longthorne began his career over three decades ago performing a repertoire of voices which has grown endless, including hundreds of the world’s best singers. Joe is perhaps best known for his impersonation of Shirley Bassey, who has commented, ‘Joe can do me better than I can do myself’. Joe will thrill audiences with his legendary performances of new and classic songs. Tickets £23.50, £20.50

The sensational Tango Fire Company of Buenos Aires presents their new show Tango Fire - Flames of Desire. Featuring ten torrid dancers, one of Argentina's finest young singers and a quartet of brilliant musicians, Tango Fire - Flames of Desire takes you on a seductive journey through the history of the world's most alluring and exciting dance form, Tango.

‘...A sizzling, sensual Taste of the real thing’ Evening Standard

The Shaolin Warriors’ breathtaking theatrical Kung Fu Show vividly depicts the rarely-seen Kung Fu masters’ feats of agility, strength and skill, using their rigorous martial arts training. In a spectacular show featuring 22 professionally-trained Kung Fu Masters, you will be amazed and thrilled by The Shaolin Warriors death-defying stunts including qigong, animal imitation boxing, drunken boxing, and fighting. This production boasts gorgeous scenery, atmospheric music, beautiful lights, hundreds of costumes as well as 18 kinds of traditional dangerous weapon!

Tickets £25.00, £23.00, £19.00, £16.00 Tickets £22.50, £19.50

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Reserve your table at The Circle Restaurant



Thu 5 May | 7.30pm

Fri 6 May | 7.45pm

Sat 7 May | 7.45pm

The Best of The Eagles

The Celtic Tenors The Naked Truth It’s A Women Thing in Concert

Performed by Talon Talon, the definitive Eagles tribute show, perform The Eagles bestselling ‘Farewell 1’ tour at The Orchard, recreating the magical night it was filmed at the opening night in Melbourne, Australia. This sensational concert features all the classic hits from their timeless back catalogue including Hotel California, Lyin’ Eyes, Take It Easy, Desperado, Take It To The Limit and Life In The Fast Lane. Tickets £18.50

The Celtic Tenors have been touring the world since they formed in 2000 with their unique and uplifting performances.

Starring Maureen Nolan, Claire King (Emmerdale), Michelle Heaton (Liberty X) and Leanne Jones (Olivier award-winning star of Hairspray).

With their wit and charisma, Daryl, James and Matthew have combined their talent with young Musical Director, Colm Rogan, to create an emotive journey of classical, folk, Irish and pop music, full of undeniable celtic charm.

Five very different women struggle hilariously to conquer pole dancing for an event to raise awareness and money for a breast cancer charity. As their stories unfold, they share laughter and tears in this hilarious, sad and ultimately moving drama by Dave Simpson, the writer of the smash-hit comedy Girls’ Night Out.

Tickets £19.50 Under 16 £15.00 Premiere Card £15.00

Tickets £19.50 Concessions £1.00 off

Tickets 01322 220000

Book Online

Tue 10–Sat 14 May

Birmingham Stage Company present

Horrible Histories We all want to meet people from history. The trouble is everyone is dead! So it’s time to prepare yourselves for Horrible Histories live on stage! Using actors and ground-breaking 3D special effects, these two astounding shows are guaranteed to thrill you and your children. From the fascinating Pharaohs to the power of the pyramids, The Awful Egyptians will help you discover the foul facts of death and decay with the meanest mummies in Egypt. Are you ready to rumble with Ramasses the Great? Dare you enter through the Gates of the Afterlife? From the evil Emperors to the gruesome gladiators, The Ruthless Romans show you there’s no place like Rome! Experience the terrible tactics of the Roman army, hold on tight for a jaw-dropping journey into Roman Britain and prepare to meet sword-slaying Spartacus! Historical figures and events will come alive on stage and, thanks to amazing 3D special effects, hover at your fingertips.

Ruthless Romans Wed 1.30pm, Thu 10.30am, Fri 7pm, Sat 2.30pm Awful Egyptians Tue 7pm, Wed 10.30am, Thu 1.30pm, Fri 10.30am, Sat 7pm Tickets Adults £15.00 Children £12.00 Family Ticket £48.00 (two adults, two children) Schools £10.00 plus one teacher goes free with every ten pupils Premiere Card Family Ticket £44.00 (two adults, two children) Horrible Super Saver 20% off when you book for both

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Sun 8 May | 7.45pm

Mon 9 May, Mon 6 June 7.45pm

Sun 15 May | 7.30pm

The Magic of Motown

Pub Quiz

Forever in Blue Jeans Starring Carole Gordon & Bob Newman

Get ready as the smash-hit concert show from the States, The Magic of Motown, authentically revives the harmonies, slick moves and legendary musicianship that were the making of Motown. Performing hits from The Supremes, Temptations, Four Tops, Jackson 5, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Mary Wells, Martha Reeves and Lionel Richie and more. The Magic of Motown – signed, sealed delivered.

Do you have what it takes to beat your friends, family or colleagues and become the ultimate quiz master? Join us at The Orchard for a lot of laughs and help us to raise money for Great Ormond Street Hospital. Bar snacks and drinks available throughout the night Tickets £5.00 (includes a free beer per person) Tickets £21.50

Book Online

With a cast of terrific singers, dancers and the superb Red Hot Blue Jeans Band, this great new production will transport you from the start of the 1950s to the best of today. Featuring a host of hits from artists such as Jerry Lee Lewis, The Beatles, The Four Tops, The Jackson 5, Diana Ross, The Carpenters and Abba, Forever in Blue Jeans is guaranteed to entertain the whole family. Tickets £18.50 Concessions £16.50

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Tue 17–Wed 18 May | Tue 1pm & 3pm, Wed 10.30am & 1.30pm

Tue 17 May | 7.30pm

Wed 18 May | 7.30pm

Nick Brooke Ltd and Kenny Wax Ltd present

An Evening with

Tracey ‘TJ’ Higgs

Gervase Phinn

The Tiger Who Came To Tea Live on Stage! Based on the picture book written and illustrated by Judith Kerr. Adapted for the stage with songs and lyrics by David Wood. The doorbell rings just as Sophie and her mummy are sitting down to tea. Who could it possibly be? What they certainly don’t expect to see at the door is a big, stripy tiger! Following on from the highlysuccessful 2009 tour, the teaguzzling tiger is back on the road in a delightful family show; packed with oodles of magic, sing-a-long songs and clumsy chaos! Be enchanted by this stunning stage adaptation of the classic tale of teatime mayhem – expect to be surprised!

Gervase Phinn, author and radio and television personality, has been touring theatres and delighting audiences across the country for over eight years as a hilarious raconteur. With his keen ear for the absurd and sharp eye for the ludicrous, Gervase Phinn will have you on the edge of your seat, as he shares with you his hilarious and sometimes poignant tales of life as a schools inspector in the Yorkshire Dales.

Described as one of the most accurate female mediums, Tracey ‘TJ’ Higgs will take you on a rollercoaster ride of emotions in an evening of intimate communication as she delivers messages of love and comfort. After correctly predicting the finalfour contestants of The X Factor on ITV3’s The Xtra Factor, Tracey returns to The Orchard with her astounding psychic abilities. TJ Higgs is experimental / investigational. There are no guaranteed or certain results and the show is for the purposes of amusement.

Tickets £16.50

Tickets £18.50 Concessions £16.50

Children 3+ Tickets £11.00 Schools £9.50 Buy ten tickets get one free

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John Bishop Mon 16 May SOLD OUT



Thu 19 May | 7.30pm

Fri 20 May | 7.45pm

Sat 21 May | 7.45pm

T-Rextasy and Aladdinsane

The Royal Artillery Band

Flhip Flhop

With Shane Hampsheir An absolute must for fans of glam rock, this show brings together two of the UK’s foremost tributes, T.Rextasy and Aladdinsane. T.Rextasy, plays homage to Marc Bolan’s biggest hits, recreating the music, the performance and the incredible atmosphere of the glam-rock era in this fantastic rock ‘n’ roll concert. Aladdinsane present an impressive tribute to David Bowie, faithfully recreating the sights and sounds of many of the classic songs and focusing on his works of the 1970s. Tickets £19.50 Concessions £18.50

Grand Charity Concert for Help for Heroes. The Royal Artillery Band and the Royal Artillery ‘Big Band’ return to The Orchard to perform a special charity concert which promises a night of exciting music from stage and screen, popular classics, big band swing and much more. The talented young vocalist Shane Hampsheir will be performing songs from the shows as well as some big band favourites. All proceeds will be donated to ‘Help for Heroes’, the charity that provides valuable support and improved facilities to British servicemen and women wounded in conflict. This concert is guaranteed to be a truly memorable evening. Tickets £16.00, £15.00, £13.00

Tickets 01322 220000

Take a whole bag full of classic comedy routines, shake them up and update them for the hip hop age and you have the exhilarating and hilarious Flhip Flhop. Two painter-decorators are doing a job in a friends flat, but in traditional slapstick manner things go wrong. In a dynamic display of one-upmanship, they compete to out-do each other. Outrageously talented performers, Matt Bailey and Joey D, combine witty dialogue, slapstick, laughter, breakdance, beatbox and DJ'ing to create an energising comedy for all.

‘They put a fresh lick of paint on Hip Hop’s image’ The Metro Tickets £12.00 Under 21 £9.50 Concessions £11.00

Book Online


Mon 23–Sat 28 May 7.45pm, Wed & Sat matinee 2.30pm Anna, Eva, Rose, Gladys and La La had only two things in common when they met seven months ago: a park bench and a life well lived. Through fond and sometimes painful memories, keen observations and great laughs, these gals are truly on the cusp of sixty something going on eighteen. Each one unknowingly prepares to leave the bench, perhaps for the last time.

Tickets Mon–Wed £16.00 Thu–Sat £11.50–£20.50 Premiere Card Two tickets for the price of one on Mon 23 May

An hilarious, moving story of five wonderful women guaranteed to make you laugh…. and cry.

'Five ladies, five lives and a thousand laughs' The Daily Mail



Sun 22 May | 7.30pm

Sun 29 May | 7.45pm

Sherlock Holmes Spirit of ... The Last Act! the Dance

Mon 30 May | 7.30pm

Marty Wilde & The Wild Cats

The International Dance Sensation Following Roger Llewellyn’s successful visit to The Orchard last year, he returns with his other acclaimed production where The World's Greatest Fictional Detective confronts the most complex case of all…his own psyche. Exploring the mind of the real man, not ‘the thinking machine’, Sherlock Holmes is revealed as a passionate and secretive man, with a cutting sense of humour. Stripping away his infamous clinical façade, watch Roger Llewellyn reveal unexpected fears and weaknesses of the legendary detective.

‘In these elegant hands, this is Holmes as you’ve always imagined him - but with a cutting sense of humour’

The International smash hit Spirit of the Dance is one of the most successful shows ever to come out of Ireland and has been seen by more than twenty five million people in fifteen countries around the world. Bursting with raw-energy, this explosive and powerful footstomping spectacular combines heart-pounding Irish Dance with the sensual Latino rhythms of Flamenco and Red-hot Salsa in a thrilling production full of strength and passion. Tickets £21.50 Family Ticket £64.50 (two adults, two children)

Sunday Express Tickets £15.50 Concessions £13.50

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Book Online

Marty Wilde looks back at a career spanning over fifty years of Rock and Roll. Paying homage to friends who helped shape the nature of British Rock and Roll, Marty performs some of his personal favourites songs including Bad Boy, Jesamine, Teenager in Love, Rubber Ball, Jezabel and Sea of Love. Tickets £23.00, £25.00


Thu 2 June | 7.30pm

Fri 3 June | 7.45pm

Sat 4 June | 8pm

The Johnny Cash Roadshow

Jonathan Ansell

Letz Zep

The Johnny Cash Roadshow, featuring Clive John as the ‘Man in Black’, delivers all your favourite hits including The Ring Of Fire, Boy Named Sue, Folsom Prison Blues, Man In Black, One Piece At A Time, Sunday Morning Coming Down and Hurt.

Having sold over two-million albums, Jonathan Ansell now brings his friends to The Orchard to perform the music of G4. Performing songs including Bohemian Rhapsody, Barcelona, Nessun Dorma, Circle of Life, Somebody to Love, Danny Boy and My Way.

Featuring a world-class band, this high-energy show depicts the life of Johnny Cash and stars the best June Carter in the business.

& Friends

Tickets £26.50

Letz Zep are critically acclaimed as the leading music tribute to Led Zeppelin. Including hits from outand-out rock anthems like Black Dog and Rock and Roll, the acoustic folk style of Gallows Pole and Tangerine, to the haunting-melody of Kashmir, a concert by Letz Zep magnificently portrays the full-scope of the music of Led Zeppelin. Tickets £17.00

Tickets £18.00 Concessions £17.00

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Complement your theatre tickets with a table at The Circle Restaurant



Mr Benn © 2010 David McKee

Sun 5 June | 3pm

Tue 7 & Wed 8 June

Thu 9 June | 7.45pm

Royal Marines Association Concert Band

Mr Benn

Shane Hampsheir

In Aid of Royal Marine Charities The Bands of the Royal Marines have built up a worldwide reputation for their panache and style of playing. Formed only four years ago and made up of fifty retired Royal Marine musicians who, combined, have over 1500 years of musical experience, The Band of the Royal Marines Association has wowed audiences throughout the South of England playing to sell-out audiences. Be sure to embrace a whole spectrum of music played by some of the world’s finest military musicians. Tickets £12.50, £15.50, £17.50

The extraordinary adventures of an ordinary man

and his Big Band

To celebrate the 40th anniversary of the much-loved children’s television series, the creators of The Gruffalo and Room on the Broom stage shows present this brand new live production, based on the classic character written and illustrated by David McKee. Mr Benn, an ordinary man who lives in an ordinary street, gets a surprise when an envelope lands with a thud on his doormat. It’s an invitation. To a fancy dress party! Mr Benn sets off to look for a costume and finds himself on an exciting journey in this magical, musical show for everyone over the age of three... Tue 1.30pm & 4.30pm, Wed 10.30am & 1.30pm Tickets £11.00 Schools £9.50 plus buy ten tickets get one free

Tickets 01322 220000

Shane Hampsheir, the UK’s swing sensation comes to The Orchard with his own big band! At just 22-years-old Shane has the perfect tone and an electrifying presence and will swing and croon and fly you to the moon when he performs some of the finest songs including Mac The Knife, Under My Skin, Mr Bojangles, Home and many more.

‘All the style of Bublé, all the tone and phrasing of Sinatra! Not to be missed!’ The Daily Mail Tickets £18.50

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Book Online


Tue 21–Sat 25 June

Tickets from £20.00 Children half price

The Russian Ice Stars

Peter Pan on Ice A spectacular adaptation of J.M. Barrie’s magical story of the boy who never grew up hits The Orchard, when the world renowned Russian Ice Stars perform Peter Pan on Ice. Mysterious lands filled with pirates, Indians and ticking crocodiles, will transport visitors to a wonderful world of make-believe as Wild Rose Ice Theatre brings to life the book which has inspired generation after generation. Unique touches, such as penny farthings being ridden across the ice as the curtain opens on the skyline of a London park, complete with chimney stacks and chimney sweeps, pave the way for a fast-moving production which promises to be both lavish and spectacular, dazzling with its sheer beauty and elegance that will thrill the whole family. Based on the story by J.M. Barrie. By arrangement with Great Ormond Street Hospital Children’s Charity and Samuel French Limited.




Fri 10 June | 8pm

Sun 12 June | 5.30pm

Tue 14–Wed 15 June | 6.30pm

Bootleg Beatles

Billy Elliot – The Musical

Dartford Choral Outreach presents Summer Spectacular

The Bootleg Beatles are widely known as the world’s premier Beatles band. Using film-footage of the period and ‘with a little help from’ their regular brass and string ensemble the show traces the history of the Fab Four from Liverpool’s Cavern Club through Sgt. Pepper to The Apple Rooftop. This two-hour multi-media stage production brings you all the classic Beatles hits. Tickets £24.50

In The Wings Youth Productions, in association with The Orchard, is delighted to be presenting a youth adaptation of Billy Elliot The Musical featuring talented young people from North-West Kent and South-East London. The stage production of Billy Elliot was created by the same team that created the Academy Award nominated film and tells the inspirational story of one boy’s dream to realise his ambitions. Billy pursues his passion for dance in secret to avoid disapproval of his struggling working-class family. All proceeds will go to the BBC's Children in Need 2011 Appeal.

An exciting evening of musical fun presented by the best young musical talent in and around Dartford. Dartford Choral Outreach is a musical charity based in Dartford Parish Church which works with 2000 schoolchildren in and around Dartford. Featuring The Massed Voices of Dartford’s School children including The Dartford Boys’ and Girls’ Choirs, The Choristers of Dartford Parish Church and The Bishop's Consort, all directed by James Wilkinson. Tickets £5.50, £7.50, £10.50 Family Ticket £25.50 (two adults, two children) Concessions £1.00 off

Tickets £15.00 Concessions £13.50

Sally Morgan Sun 19 June | 7.45pm Tickets £23.50

Book Online


Illustration © Axel Scheffler 2004

Mon 27–Wed 29 June

Thu 30 June | 7.45pm

Sun 3 July | 5pm

The Gruffalo’s Child

That’ll Be The Day

Youth Theatre Summer Showcase

25th Anniversary Following hot on the heels of the Gruffalo’s sell-out tour and his monstrous West End success comes The Gruffalo’s Child – with attitude! The Gruffalo said that no Gruffalo should ever set foot in the deep dark wood... One wild and windy night the Gruffalo’s Child ignores her father’s warning and tiptoes out into the snow. After all, the Big Bad Mouse doesn’t really exist… does he? Tall Stories Theatre Company returns, bringing Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler’s award-winning sequel to life in this magical, musical adaptation. Age: 3+ Mon 1.30pm, Tue 10.30am & 1.30pm, Wed 10.30am & 1.30pm

It’s ‘Party Time’ again as the hottest show in town returns with their ‘25th Anniversary Show’. Prepare yourself for a non-stop nostalgia trip down memory lane with a combination of the most popular favourite hits from the 50s through to the 70s mixed with all the best feel-good comedy routines, which have been performed in the show over the last 25 years. We guarantee you’ll be on your feet and dancing before the night is over!!

The Orchard Youth Theatre proudly presents its summer showcase. Calling on Chaucer’s famous Canterbury Tales, members of the youth theatre have created a unique show set on the 8.35 train from Dartford to London. Commuters with computers, buskers earning a crust and runaways on the edge – everyone has a place to go and a story to tell. Tickets £8.00 Concessions £6.00

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‘The best rock ‘n’ roll show on the road’ The Express Tickets £22.50

Tickets £11.00 Schools £8.50 plus buy ten get one free

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PR E M I E R E C ARD Image: Spamalot

Spamalot Starring KING OF COMEDY Phill Jupitus, Todd Carty and Jessica Martin

Great benefits! Fantastic price! Join now! Join The Orchard Premiere Card and enjoy exclusive benefits to make your next theatre visit even more special. At just £29 per year you can cover the cost of your membership fee during your first visit to The Orchard and continue to save £££s throughout the rest of the year! Join now and enjoy the following exclusive Premiere Card benefits: • Special discounts and exclusive two-for-one ticket offers • Priority booking period • Special email offers • Try Something New discount voucher • 20% discount at The Circle Restaurant • Priority bar during interval on Premiere Card nights • Post-show receptions and meet-the-cast opportunities

Tickets 01322 220000

• No booking or resale fees • Free cloakroom • Theatre tours • Regular newsletters • Premiere Card trips Joining couldn’t be easier. Visit the Ticket Office in person or call on 01322 220000. If you would like more information on The Orchard Premiere Card please contact our Ticket Office on 01322 220000 and we will tell you all about this money saving scheme. Terms and conditions apply.

Book Online


The Orchard Youth Theatre Stop waiting in the wings…step into the spotlight! The Orchard Youth Theatre is a great place to make new friends and develop new skills in all areas of the performing arts. It offers regular performance opportunities as well as a range of exciting projects and workshops. Whether it’s just for fun, to meet new people or the start of a career in the spotlight, our Youth Theatre truly has something for everyone. As a member of The Orchard Youth Theatre you will receive fantastic discounts and offers on shows at The Orchard, a yearly membership card and theatre tours - but remember, places for each term are strictly limited so enrol now! Head down to The Orchard and be part of this fantastic arts experience. For more details call the Ticket Office on 01322 220009.


The Show Must Go On Join our Support Team – The Orchard needs volunteers to work across all areas of the theatre from front-of-house to marketing and education. Volunteers are entitled to a range of benefits: • Chance to see a variety of shows • Theatre tours • Regular newsletter If you are interested and want to find out more about volunteering please visit or call 01322 220099.


Keep up-to-date The easiest way of keeping up-to-date with the latest news from The Orchard is just a click away. You can visit our website which is regularly updated with new shows and events and gives you the option to sign up to our e-newsletters or you can even find us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get backstage gossip and be the first to hear about what’s going on. Log-on and connect with The Orchard today!



24 hour booking! Visit Book your own seats at a time that suits you using our 24-hour online booking service. Safe, secure, easy to use and you can even select your own seats using our interactive seating plan! Online purchases are subject to £3.00 per transaction fee.

Telephone and group bookings line 01322 220000 10am – 6pm Mon-Sat All telephone bookings are subject to a £1.00 per ticket charge capped at £4.00 per transaction.

Ticket Office counter Open 10am – 6pm Monday-Saturday, 90 minutes prior to the performance on Sundays and Bank Holidays. In-person bookings are subject to 50p per ticket capped at £4.00 per transaction.

Booking couldn’t be easier We can reserve your tickets without payment for up to five days. You can book your tickets using Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, Delta, Switch, Solo, cheques and postal orders (made payable to ‘Orchard Theatre Dartford Limited’).

The gift of a Great Night Out HQ Theatres Gift Vouchers are the perfect gift for choice and value! HQ Theatres Gift Vouchers are available in any denomination and are valid at any HQ Theatre for 12 months. Access and Assistance The Orchard offers complimentary tickets to essential carers for disabled visitors. For full access information visit our website or contact the Ticket Office. Babes in Arms Children under 18 months: £1.00 on selected performances. For applicable performances please ask the Ticket Office at time of booking. The Orchard retains the right to exclude babes in arms from any performance.

Book the best seats in the house At all performances a small selection of premium seats, the best seats in the auditorium, are available at £4.00 more than top-price seats.

Photography Photography and video recordings are not permitted in the auditorium.

Booking 10 or more tickets? Our friendly Ticket Office team can help you! Call us on 01322 220000 and we will assist in getting your group the most suitable seats at the best price. Plus, we will reserve your tickets in advance with no immediate obligation to pay!

Your data is protected Your contact details will be held so we can contact you in the eventuality a performance is cancelled and with your permission we also contact you about our exciting forthcoming programme. If you would prefer not to receive such information please email or call 01322 220000.

You could be entitled to ticket discounts Where offered, concession ticket prices apply to those either over 60 or under 16 years old, unwaged, full-time students or people with a disability. Only one discount can apply per ticket and appropriate identification may be required upon request. Not all concessions are available online.

Copies of this Brochure are available in large print and other accessible formats. Please contact the Ticket Office.

Things you need to know… Administration fees apply, are non-refundable and subject to change. Some performances have a specific booking fee per ticket, which is indicated in the Brochure. The Orchard spends £1.00 of the price of your ticket on improving your theatre. Tickets will not be exchanged or refunded for any reason unless a performance has been cancelled or postponed. Ticket prices subject to change in line with the prevailing VAT rate at the time of purchase.

All attempts are made to ensure that show information and prices are correct at the time of going to print but may be subject to subsequent alteration. Discounts and concessions may be withdrawn at any time at the discretion of the management. We reserve the right to introduce offers which cannot be applied to tickets already purchased.


Premium Seats Stalls Circle Upper Circle Side View Seats Standing Room

G 18 F 18 17 F E E D D C C B B A 18 A 17


F 8 E 7 D

D 17 C B A 17

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51 50 B C 51 A 13 AA


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BB 1




By Train The Orchard is situated in Dartford town centre with Dartford railway station just two minutesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; walk-away. There are direct trains from South East London and Kent. 

The Orchard An HQ Theatre

By Road Easily reached by car, The Orchard is well sign-posted on all local routes into Dartford. From the A2 and M25. Follow signs for Dartford Town Centre.

Tunnel & Bridge M25



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Parking Parking is available at two locations within a short walk. The Orchards Shopping Centre multi-storey car park is adjacent to the theatre. Please note that the Waitrose ground level car park is not available to theatregoers.

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37 G 40 F F 41 39 E E 40 38 D D 39 37 C C 38 36 B B 37 35 A A 36




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The Civic Centre car park, just over the footbridge, offers free access after 6pm on weekdays and all day at weekends.

Brochure produced by adverset media solutions limited freephone 0800 064 3883





The Orchard March - July 2011