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July – November 2010

Book online at Ticket Office 01322 220000



Saturday 4 December 2010 – Sunday 9 January 2011 Comedy legend, actor and TV star Bobby Davro will ensure you laugh all the way through this spectacular and hilarious pantomime! As well as an abundance of comedy, Jack and the Beanstalk features magnificent scenery, beautiful costumes, a larger than life beanstalk – the biggest in Kent! – and one very mean giant at the top of it! It’s staged by Qdos Entertainment, the world’s foremost pantomime producer, and the ticket prices will suit all pockets, so you won’t have to sell the family cow to enjoy this unmissable pantomime at The Orchard Theatre! BOOK TODAY!

Sat Sun

4 5

Dec Dec

2.30pm A 1pm A

7pm 5pm


Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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No Performance 2pm A 7pm 2pm A 7pm 2pm A 7pm 2pm A 7pm 2.30pm B 7pm 1pm B 5pm


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No Performance 2pm B 7pm 2pm B 7pm 2pm B 7pm 2pm B 7pm 2.30pm C 7pm 1pm C 5pm


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No Performance 2.30pm C 7pm 2.30pm C 7pm 2.30pm C 7pm 1pm C 5pm No Performance 1pm C 5pm

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27 28 29 30 31 1 2

Dec Dec Dec Dec Dec Jan Jan

1pm C 5pm 1pm C 5pm No Performance 2.30pm C 7pm 1pm C 5pm 1pm C 5pm 1pm C 5pm

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Jan Jan Jan Jan Jan Jan Jan

1pm B 5pm No Performance 2pm A 7pm 2pm A 7pm 2pm A 7pm 2.30pm B 7pm 1pm B 5pm

Tickets 01322 220000


Performance Code A £18.50 Performance Code B £18.50, £22.50, £23.50 Performance Code C £20.50, £24.50, £25.50

Early Bo (perfo oking Off er rmanc e co Book A & B only des ) by 31 Ju recei ve £1 ly 2010 & .00 o ff all ticke ts*

Concessions (performance codes A & B only) £2.00 off Groups (performance codes A & B only) Groups 10+ All seats £17.50 Groups 20+ All seats £16.00 Groups 50+ All seats £14.50 Schools (performance codes A & B only) Schools 20+ All seats £11.00 Schools 100+ All seats £10.00 Plus Teachers/Supervisors GO FREE!** Premiere Card Two tickets for the price of one on Saturday 4 December All prices and discounts are subject to availability and may be withdrawn without prior notice. Standard terms and conditions apply to all tickets purchased. *Selected performances **Terms and conditions apply


Premium Seats Available on all performances for an additional £4.00 per seat


Book your pre-show meal at The Circle Restaurant today. Call the Ticket Office on 01322 220000

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WELCOME Whatever your tastes, this season is bursting with a line-up of outstanding and unmissable entertainment! Make the most of your visits to The Orchard by investing in our Premiere Card. The invaluable Premiere Card scheme gives you access to a range of exclusive benefits, including special ticket deals, 20% discount at our Circle Restaurant and a priority booking period so that you can be among the first to book the best seats! See page 36 for further details. To make booking smoother and easier we have upgraded our online booking system so that you can book your very favourite seats at a time that suits you. We have also introduced exclusive online offers on selected performances – have a look, see what's on offer, and try it out for yourself! As well as our busy programme of entertainment, you will find a great selection of catering events at The Orchard – perfect for celebrating a special occasion or enjoying a fantastic night out with friends. Why not make your visit even more memorable with one of our VIP packages? Our Hospitality Department can build a package to suit you, from canapé and champagne receptions to fine wine and dining for your party – whatever you choose, we know you will have a wonderful time! See our centrefold pamphlet to find out more. We want to ensure that your visit to The Orchard lives up to your expectations every time. Theatre Director, Andy Hill and his team are always happy to hear from you. Your feedback and suggestions are important to us as they enable Andy and his team to continue to provide theatregoers in Dartford with an unrivalled entertainment experience when visiting The Orchard.

Nick Thomas Chairman; HQ Theatres/Qdos Entertainment

Nick Thomas

Blaze Thu 28–Sat 30 October 7.30pm (see page 27) Andy Hill

The Orchard is managed on behalf of Dartford Borough Council by HQ Theatres Ltd, a Qdos Entertainment Company.


Mon 28–Tue 29 June


Wed 30 June | 7.45pm SOLD-OUT

Guess How Much An Audience with Sally Morgan I Love You NOW ON-SALE FOR Sat 27 November | 7.30pm Much-loved characters Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare leap off the page and onto the stage! Enjoy songs, games and laughter as Sam McBratney and Anita Jeram’s classic Guess How Much I Love You tales are brought to life by David Wood OBE. Guess How Much I Love You is perfect entertainment for the young and not-so-young! Children 3+ Available from Walker Books and all good bookstores.

Schedule Mon 1.30pm & 4.30pm, Tue 11am, 1.30pm & 4.30pm

Fresh from her new TV Series – Psychic Sally on the Road on LIVING, Britain’s best loved celebrity psychic, Sally Morgan returns to The Orchard. Sally has used her gift over the years to help many people, and is most notably famous for her work with the late Princess Diana. Her reputation has been built from her close relationship with many highprofile celebrities. Sally Morgan has taken the UK by storm!

Mon 5 July | 7.30pm

Clive Conway presents

An Audience with Michael Portillo This controversial former MP, who has become a successful TV regular and columnist, shares his many fascinating experiences and stories and during the second half of the show will answer audience questions. Tickets £17.50 Concessions £2.00 off Premiere Card 2 tickets for £30.00 (excludes Premium seats)

An Audience with Sally Morgan is experimental/ investigational. There are no guaranteed or certain results and the show is for the purposes of amusement.

Tickets £20.50 Tickets Adults £12.00 Children £9.50



Thu 22 July | 7.45pm

They Will Rock You The supreme Queen live concert show This spectacular brand-new show is headlined by an amazingly authentic performance of Queen’s legendary live concert.

Mon 19–Wed 21 July | 7.45pm

Rock Around the Clock It’s time to shake, rattle and roll all the way back to the fantastic 50s! Travel back to the time of Teddy Boys, quiffs, brill cream, poodle skirts and blue suede shoes. Featuring a phenomenal cast of over 20 singers, dancers and musicians, Rock Around the Clock is a non-stop hit parade of Rock ‘n’ Roll classics that is guaranteed to leave you dancing into the night! This American Jukebox sensation has already wowed audiences all over the world and includes music made famous by Buddy Holly, Bill Haley and The Comets, Chuck Berry, Fats Domino, Elvis Presley, The Platters, Jerry Lee Lewis and featuring unforgettable songs such as Great Balls Of Fire, Jail House Rock, Shake Rattle And Roll, De Do Ron Ron and Johnny B Goode.

Queen B have performed before Sir Paul McCartney and Sir Richard Branson while special guests ABBA Magic are the longest-established ABBA concert show in the UK. Hit songs include Bohemian Rhapsody, Another One Bites The Dust and We Are The Champions plus ABBA’s Dancing Queen, Mamma Mia and Knowing Me, Knowing You. Prepare to be entertained, exhilarated and rocked till you drop! Tickets £20.50

Tickets Mon £18.50, Tue & Wed £21.50

Tickets 01322 220000

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Local Events Thu 1 July | 7.30pm

A Night At The Theatre – Swanley & District LCSP Concert Peppa Pig @Astley Baker Davies Ltd/E1 Entertainment Ltd 2003

Tickets £5.00

Fri 2 July | 2.30pm & 7.30pm

Prep School Musical – Merton Court Prepartory School Tickets £10.00 Past Pupils £5.00

Thu 8 July | 7pm

Try Angle Awards Sat 10 July | 2.30pm & 7pm, Sun 11 July 1pm & 5pm

Out of this World – Sylvera School of Dance Adults £9.50 Children £8.50

Sat 24–Sun 25 July | Sat 1pm & 4pm, Sun 10am & 1pm

Peppa Pig’s Party Oink oink – it's Peppa Pig! Peppa is a playful little piggy who lives with her younger brother George, Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig. Through everyday adventures she plays games, makes new friends and enjoys her absolute favourite activity – jumping up and down in muddy puddles!

Thu 15–Sat 17 July | 2.30pm & 7.15pm

Burlesque and other distractions – Bird College Tickets £9.00–£24.00 Concessions available

Today it’s a bright and sunny day and it’s also a very special day. It’s Peppa Pig's birthday! Come and join the fun with Peppa and George, Suzy Sheep, Danny Dog and Emily Elephant at Peppa’s party.

Sun 18 July | 3pm & 6.30pm

A charming, original and imaginative show from the producers of Lazy Town Live! and Roald Dahl’s The BFG, this BAFTA award-winning children's TV show is recreated live on stage for the first time featuring beautifully true-to-life puppets, brand-new songs, muddy puddles and plenty of oinks!

Tickets £11.50

Gillham School of Performing Arts

Tickets Adults £15.50 Children £13.50 Family Ticket £54.00 (2 adults, 2 children)



Thu 26 August | 7.30pm


Sat 28 August | 7.30pm

The Texas Tenors One Night of Queen

Thu 2 September | 7.45pm

The Voice of Roy Orbison 21st Anniversary Tribute Tour

Over 100 million people from around the world tuned into America’s Got Talent last season to see The Texas Tenors, who were voted 2009's Vocal Group of the Year’. The incredible voices of these classically trained Tenors, J.C, Marcus and John, perform the most romantic songs of the last Century and bring their unique blend of Gospel, Country, Classical and Broadway to the stage with breathtaking vocals, humour and a hint of cowboy charm. Together they create harmonies as smooth as silk and a sound to satisfy the soul. From well loved arias, to show songs, from Nessun Dorma to My Way, The Texas Tenors cover every genre of music...effortlessly! Tickets £20.50 Concessions £1.50 off

One Night of Queen are celebrating ten successful years and are continuing to rock sell-out audiences worldwide, from the prestige BBC Proms in the Park, London to extensive tours of the USA. One Night of Queen present a stunning live concert featuring all the Queen classics including Bohemian Rhapsody, Under Pressure and Radio Ga Ga.

‘For one night only, Queen and Freddie Mercury came back to life.’ Salt Lake Tribune (USA)

‘Fantastic!’ Sir Terry Wogan, BBC Proms In The Park 2009 Tickets £19.50 Concessions £2.00 off

Tickets 01322 220000

This year marks the 21st anniversary of Roy Orbison’s death, and to commemorate this occasion we present the sounds of ‘The Big O’ together with the two hugelysuccessful support acts: The Everly Brothers and Buddy Holly. Hear all of your favourite hits spanning these incredible decades of music: Only The Lonely, Wake Up Little Suzie, Peggy Sue, Pretty Women, Cathy’s Clown, Rave On and many more. With stars from the West End and internationally-acclaimed singers combined with backing band The Rockets, they will have you singing your most loved tunes, stomping your feet and shouting for more. Tickets £17.50

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2 50


Thu 5–Sun 8 August | Thu & Fri 7.30pm, Sat 2.30pm & 7.30pm, Sun 1pm 2010 marks the launch of The Orchard Summer Youth Project with a production of FAME The Musical, the stage version of the film and TV series which has played numerous times in both the West End and on UK tours. FAME follows the students at New York's School of the Performing Arts through their four-year course. We see them coming to terms with life and relationships: we see those who persevere, who are resilient – and those who are not. Above all, we see them perceiving the need to strive for excellence, performing all styles including classical, rap, ballet, modern and hip-hop – as contemporary as MTV, but live and kickin'!

Tickets Thu 7.30pm, Sat 2.30pm & Sun 1pm £11.00 GALA Performance Fri 7.30pm £13.00 – £1.00 from every ticket will be donated to Great Ormond Street Hospital Sat 7.30pm £12.00 This amateur production is presented by arrangement with Josef Weinberger Ltd. on behalf of Music Theatre International of New York.

A spectacular smash-hit musical set in the 80s, with a cast of 250 local young people singing, dancing and acting from one show-stopping moment to another, FAME includes classic songs that will have you dancing in the aisles and making you ‘Want to live forever!’ 9






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Mon 16–Sat 21 August | 7.30pm, Wed & Sat Mats 2.30pm Inspired by the smash-hit million selling albums Dreamboats and Petticoats One, Two and Three, the West End sell-out sensation Dreamboats and Petticoats the Musical features some of the greatest hit songs of the Rock ‘n’ Roll era. The dazzling success of the first three albums in the Dreamboats and Petticoats series sent the message loud and clear. With over 2 million copies sold and several weeks at the Number One spot in the compilation charts, the Great British public were saying that they didn’t just want to listen to pure nostalgia: they’d love to see it as well. Thus Dreamboats was born as a musical and over a million people have since been enchanted by an evening of pure hedonistic affection for a more innocent era, when love was young and so was rock ‘n’ roll. Dreamboats and Petticoats The Musical features classic tracks from Roy Orbison, The Shadows, Eddie Cochran, Billy Fury, and many more, including Let’s Dance, To Know Him Is To Love Him, Shaking All Over, Bobby’s Girl, Only Sixteen, Run-around Sue, Let It Be Me, Great Pretender, C’mon Everybody, Let’s Twist Again and many more hits from music’s golden era! Dreamboats and Petticoats – the songs will live forever!

Tickets Mon & Wed Mat £22.50 Tue, Wed & Thu £22.50, £25.50, £28.50 Fri & Sat £26.50, £28.50, £31.50 Premiere Card 2 tickets for the price of 1 on Mon 16 August



Fri 3 September | 8pm

Sat 4 September | 7.45pm

Sun 5 September | 7.30pm


Halfway to Paradise

Voice of the Heart

The Billy Fury Story

Karen Carpenter

The story of a shy young boy from Liverpool who went on to become one of Britain’s best-loved rock stars.

From the producers of the hit musical Forever In Blue Jeans comes Voice Of The Heart, celebrating and recreating the music of The Carpenters including Yesterday Once More, Goodbye To Love, Only Yesterday and many more. Enjoy timeless classics from medleys put together from their many album tracks including The Beatles’ Ticket To Ride, Help! and Mr Postman along with renditions of Do You Know The Way To San Jose, Always Something There To Remind Me and a Carpenters country medley of Top Of The World, Sweet Sweet Smile and Jambalaya.

The world-famous comedy club returns to Dartford with another superb line-up from the best of the British stand-up circuit. In this fantastic show three comedians and a compère will take to the stage to tickle your funny bone – keep an eye on our website for full details of the line-up. This is the perfect way to get your weekend off to a hilarious start! Tickets £12.00 Premiere Card 2 tickets for price of 1

Now in its 14th year and still furiously rockin’, the show features Billy Fury's own band replaying his timeless hits live including Last Night Was Made For Love, I Will, Jealousy, Halfway To Paradise and many, many more. Add the beautiful voice of Colin Gold and you have a night blessed by heaven. Halfway To Paradise is set to a giant nostalgic moving backdrop of this wonderful era and includes personal movie footage of Billy and his band.

‘A great 60s night out!’ The Stage Tickets £19.50 Concessions £1.00 off

Tickets 01322 220000

With superb vocals from Carole Gordon and outstanding talent from the brilliant Blue Jeans Band & Singers, this will be a sparkling night to remember! Tickets £18.50 Concessions £2.00 off

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PREMIERING AT THE ORCHARD! Brought to you by Premier Productions & AEG Themestar

Wed 15 September | 7.30pm

Rhod Gilbert & The Cat That Looked Like Nicholas Lyndhurst

Sat 11–Sun 12 September | Sat 1pm & 3.30pm, Sun 11am & 2pm

Thomas & Friends The UK première live on stage This all-new 90-minute musical adventure is packed with audience sing-alongs, high-energy dancing and thrilling adventures. When Thomas makes a big mistake, everybody must work together to prepare for the exciting event under the Big Top and Thomas must prove he’s a really useful engine once again. In this fun-filled family show, Percy, James, Gordon and Thomas join The Fat Controller to welcome a colourful cast of circus performers in an engaging story that demonstrates the importance of friendship and co-operation.

Following last year’s sell-out tour, and sensational performances on The Royal Variety Performance, Live At The Apollo, and Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow, the Welsh wonder makes his first appearance at The Orchard with his criticallyacclaimed show. Stung by accusations that he overreacts, this year Rhod sets out on an emotional rollercoaster of a journey to discover the truth. Is he, as he believes, a visionary in a sea of closed minds, or has he, as everyone else believes, got angermanagement problems?

‘Without doubt one of the best comedians anywhere in the world right now.’ Time Out

‘Comedy manna from heaven’ ★★★★★ The Independent

Tickets £14.00 Family Ticket £45.00 (2 adults, 2 children) Premiere Card Family Ticket £40.00 (2 adults, 2 children)

Tickets £20.00 (plus £2.00 booking fee)



Thu 16 September | 7.30pm

Fri 17 September | 7.30pm

Sat 18 September | 7.45pm

In The Flesh

An Evening with Rick Wakeman

Buddy Greco

The Pink Floyd Show

of Yes & Grumpy Old Man! In The Flesh present an authentic excursion into Pink Floyd’s most creative period from the mid-sixties to the early eighties performing selected tracks from their classic albums including The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn, A Saucerful Of Secrets, Wall and concluding with The Final Cut. This two-and-a-half hour show delivers accurate renditions of their astounding music, performed as it was at the time, and complemented by a saxophonist and female backing vocalists. A mind-blowing production featuring a specially-designed light-show complete with circular projection screen showing still images and specially-commissioned films – it will leave you dazzled!

Join Rick Wakeman for one of his exclusive one-man shows and you are in for a treat – thanks to 50,000,000 record sales around the word, including more than 150 record releases, more than 50 DVDs, soundtracks for more than 25 films, numerous television appearances including; Countdown, Top Gear and Grumpy Men Rick endears himself to all genres and all ages. An Evening with Rick Wakeman is a true ‘one-off’ – expect two hours of hilarious anecdotes and music at the grand piano. Tickets £27.50

Tickets £22.50 Concessions £2.00 off

Tickets 01322 220000

Swinging Las Vegas Legends Show Buddy Greco is a true Las Vegas Legend and the last original member of Sinatra’s Rat Pack. Winning Grammy and Emmy Awards with hit records such as The Lady Is A Tramp, Around The World and Girl Talk propelled Buddy to legendary status. He will not only perform his superb hits, but recall amazing memories of his days with The Rat Pack, Marilyn Monroe and many other showbiz greats. This swinging show will also feature the sensational Lezlie Anders performing her acclaimed salute to Peggy Lee and The Rat Pack is back! EastEnders and One Show star Des Coleman as Sammy Davis Jnr, the BG Allstars Band and the stunning Flamingo Vegas Showgirls complete Buddy Greco's fabulous Las Vegas Experience. Tickets £24.00 Concessions £2.00 off

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Photo: Andy Hollingworth


Sun 19 September | 7.45pm

Mon 20 September | 7.45pm

Thu 23 September | 7.30pm

Best of British Variety 2010

Sean Lock Lockipedia

Sinatra Live at the Sands

The Best of British Variety Tour is back, uniting the cream of variety entertainment from past decades, with one unique but highly entertaining show.

Star of BBC2’s QI and team captain on Channel 4’s 8 Out Of 10 Cats, Sean Lock heads to The Orchard with his brand-new stand-up show, Lockipedia.

Stephen Triffitt offers a glimpse of the genius that was Frank Sinatra at the height of his vocal powers, in the most famous and hard swinging live performance of his career.

The irrepressible Christopher Biggins will host this fantastic night of great British Entertainment featuring Paul Daniels and The Krankies, return to the tour by popular demand, along with Irish singer Dana, The Grumbleweeds and, for the first time as a solo act, one half of one of the most famous comedy double acts since comedy began, Syd Little of Little & Large.

Lockipedia is a very unreliable, misleading but highly entertaining information resource.

With a mixture of some of Sinatra’s best-loved hits such as Under My Skin, Come Fly with Me and My Kind of Town, and the full-size 17-piece Big Band Orchestra, you’ll experience an evening of the hippest musical mastery you could ever hope to hear.

‘One of the finest and most original comedians around’

Tickets £27.50

‘As Sinatra, Triffitt’s strength is in his faithful re-creation of Old Blue Eyes’ mannerisms, voice and phrasing… you’d swear you’re listening to the original.’

The Independent

Pittsburgh Tribune

With special guest host Christopher Biggins

Lockipedia is Sloppy Knowledge. Lockipedia is what Sean ‘knows’ about stuff. Lockipedia can only be accessed live. Lockipedia is funny.

‘Punchy, inventive, superb… undeniably brilliant’ The Times

Tickets £19.50 Concessions £2.00 off

Tickets £18.50



Fri 24 September | 7.45pm

Relight the Fire One incredible story, one ultimate pop reunion Relight The Fire, from the UK's Number One tribute band, The Take That Experience, performs live and brings the magic, the circus and the hits to The Orchard.

Tue 21–Wed 22 September | 7.30pm

Tell Me on a Sunday Starring Claire Sweeney A rare opportunity to see the definitive version of Andrew Lloyd Webber and Don Black’s classic musical Tell Me On A Sunday. With a wonderful original score, featuring the chart-topping song Take That Look Off Your Face, it is now remodeled for Claire Sweeney for 2010 with an exclusive new song, I Still Believe in Love. Tell Me On A Sunday charts the romantic misadventures of a young English girl in New York. Brimming with optimism, she seeks success and love. But as she weaves her way through the maze of the city and her own anxieties, frustrations and heartaches, she begins to wonder whether she's been looking for love in all the wrong places.

This show covers Take That’s huge hits from the 90s to today, from the days before Robbie left the group in 1995, through Robbie’s solo career and the return of Take That as we know them today. In just one evening you will watch a show from Robbie, a show from Take That and then… Who knows what might happen on the night? Relight your passion, relight your memories, Relight The Fire! Tickets £17.50

Tickets £25.50 Concessions £2.50 off

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Sat 25 September | 3pm & 8pm

Sun 26 September | 11am & 2.30pm

Sun 26 September | 7.30pm

60s Gold Tour

Boogie Pete

Gerry & The Pacemakers, The Searchers, PJ Proby & Chip Hawkes

Are you ready to Boogie?

West End Goes Ballroom

Pure 60s nostalgia boasting some of the greatest acts of the era! Gerry & The Pacemakers, the first band to have three consecutive number ones in the UK, will perform hits including How Do You Do It, I Like it and You’ll Never Walk Alone. The Searchers, one of Liverpool’s finest 60s group, will have your rocking in the aisles with Sweet For My Sweet and Needles. International hit recording star, PJ Proby, will have you on the edge of your seat with Somewhere and Maria, and the original lead singer/ songwriter of The Tremeloes, Chip Hawkes, will re-live the wonderful harmonies of Silence is Golden and Even The Bad Times Are Good.

Catch the much-loved Pete Hillier, star of the BAFTA award-winning CBeebies TV show Boogie Beebies, in his hit stage show Boogie Pete live.

Tickets Stalls & Circle £25.50 Upper Circle £22.50

Join Pete as he shows you some moves, some magic and some silliness in this fun-packed show featuring all your favourite songs and dances including Go, Go Mango, Hey Monkey and Ocean Motion! Then get out your camera and pen as Pete will be coming to meet, greet and sign autographs after the show. Recommended for children aged 2+

‘What makes it is the presenter Pete Hillier, engaging and warm and the children love him’ The Guardian Tickets £9.00 Family Tickets £30.00 (2 adults, 2 children) Groups 10+ Buy 10 tickets and get 2 extra tickets free

West End Goes Ballroom brings together two of the nation's favourite entertainment genres, the magic of the musicals and the beauty of the ballroom, in one exciting extravaganza. Featuring The WestEnders, six performers who have over twenty years' experience in London’s West End, the show bursts with hits from the world’s most popular musicals: Les Misérables, Hairspray, Mamma Mia, We Will Rock You, Evita and many more. This production will also feature jaw-dropping ballroom dances including the Moulin Rouge Tango, the Samba, the Paso Doble and some scintillating Salsa, all accompanied by the live WestEnders show band. The WestEnders have created a musical and dance fusion that is totally West End Goes Ballroom – an evening like no other! Tickets £18.50 Concessions £2.00 off



Mon 27 September | 7.30pm

Tue 28 September | 8pm

Wed 29 September | 7.45pm

Gordon Smith

Ross Noble

Beyond Belief

Nonsensory Overload

Motown’s Greatest Hits How Sweet It Is

Gordon Smith is widely accepted as one of the most accurate mediums in the world, and his Beyond Belief tour offers you the opportunity to meet the man who has captivated audiences worldwide.

Nonsensory Overload is Ross Noble doing what he does best. Back on tour, fresh from his travels and TV show, Ross will once again be spinning forth hilarious nonsense for your amusement.

Renowned for his ability to give exact names of people and places rather than vague sweeping statements, Gordon is the seventh son of a seventh son and has been featured in numerous television documentaries. Quite how he does what he does is inexplicable – but few can dispute that his outstanding gift has brought comfort and healing to thousands of people worldwide.

Don't miss your chance to see one of the best live international comics. Prepare your brain for a Nonsensory Overload.

An Audience with Gordon Smith is experimental /investigational. There are no guaranteed or certain results and the show is for the purposes of amusement.

The ultimate celebration of the sweet sound of Motown is back by popular demand! In its 8th successive year this stunning live show combines first-class music, the slickest choreography and an amazing orchestra to deliver truly outstanding performances for the best Motown experience you will ever have!

Time Out Sydney

Over 50 golden years of Motown music are remembered featuring songs from legendary artistes such as The Temptations, Diana Ross, The Four Tops, Smokey Robinson, Martha Reeves, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, The Supremes, The Jackson Five, Mary Wells, The Islay Brothers and many, many more.

Tickets £21.00 (plus £2.00 booking fee)

Lets get ready... to Go Loco... Down in Acapulco.

Presented by Mick Perrin for Just for Laughs Live Ltd. Suitable for ages 15+

‘It’s impossible to single out highlights when the entire show is a series of you-had-to-be-there moments’

Tickets £20.50 Tickets £19.50

Tickets 01322 220000

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Thu 30 September | 7.45pm

Fri 1 October | 7.45pm

Sat 2 October | 7.45pm

Celtic Feet

Mugenkyo Taiko Drummers

The Vagina Monologues With an all-star cast

The international Irish dance smash-hit spectacular makes its Orchard debut. A cast full of world champion dancers includes Ciara Sexton, female lead in Lord of the Dance, plus stars of Riverdance and national Irish TV. Enjoy breathtaking choreography, a flurry of sensational costumes and a fabulous live band playing an authentic mix of Irish favourites.

‘A great show’ Daily Express

‘Theatrical extravaganza’ Irish Post

‘A night of pure foot-stomping, hand-clapping pleasure’ Sunday Independent

Through years of rigorous touring as Europe’s leading taiko drum group, Mugenkyo have developed a gritty passionate style that is uniquely their own, retaining the traditional spirit of taiko yet creating a contemporary sound and a modern stage show that has captivated audiences everywhere. Thundering rhythms on huge taiko drums interweave with layers of percussive soundscapes and delicate bamboo flute in a spellbinding display of precise choreography & sheer athleticism. The Mugenkyo Taiko Drummers are joined by the beautiful, mesmerising dance artist Lale Sayoko. Tickets £20.50 Concessions £1.00 off Premiere Card £15.50

Based on author Eve Ensler's Vagina Interviews, conducted with women from all around the world, this hilariously witty and moving collection of tales gives voice to a chorus of lusty, outrageous, poignant, brave and thoroughly human stories. As sharp as Sex and the City and as unmissable as Friends – bring your mum, your best friend, your sister or even your granny – this is the ultimate girls' night out! The Vagina Monologues donates a percentage of revenue from ticket sales to V-Day benefiting women’s charities across the world.

‘Laugh out loud funny, witty provocative and deeply poignant’ The Independent Tickets £21.00, £19.00 Groups 11+ £15.50

Tickets £21.50 Concessions £1.00 off



Sun 3 October | 8pm

Mon 4 October | 7.45pm

Tue 5 October | 7.30pm

Jimmy Carr

Jane McDonald

Jim Davidson

Laughter Therapy

Since the turn of the century Jimmy has been a ‘fun slinger’ of international repute. Laughter Therapy is his ninth solo show. It’ll be an evening of non-stop jokes, gags and banter. If you’ve got a sick sense of humour then maybe laughter is the best medicine. Not to be taken if you have a sensitive disposition or an overactive moral compass. Recommended dose: one brand-new show to be taken annually (I said annually).

If I Ruled The World

A magical evening of music and laughter starring Britain’s best-loved diva, international recording artiste and television star, the incomparable Jane McDonald. With her brilliant musicians and backing singers Jane brings the audience to its feet night after night. A warm and compelling evening’s entertainment which is proving a smash-hit throughout the UK. Tickets £28.50

The King of comedy is back with his most outrageous show yet! Sure to excite his ever-growing band of faithful squires, and their ladies, King Jim returns with a show filled with tales of wanton women, pointless wars and her Majesty's troops. All rise and salute King Jim and let him show you how the world should be (if he had his way!) Outrageous, controversial, politically incorrect...and shockingly funny!

Suitable for ages 16+ Tickets £21.00 Tickets £25.00 – plus £2.50 booking fee

Tickets 01322 220000

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Basil Brush®: © 2010 Ivan Owen’s Estate and Peter Firmin under exclusive licence to Classic Media Distribution Limited. All Rights reserved.

Thu 7 October | 7.45pm

Fri 8 October | 7.45pm

Sat 9 October | 2pm

Maximum Marty Wilde Rhythm ‘N’ Blues

Basil Brush

Maximum Rhythm ‘N’ Blues is back with The Manfreds, including original members Paul Jones, Mike D’Abo, Tom McGuinness and Mike Hugg and their special guests Alan Price and Cliff Bennett.

Following the success of the national tour of Basil’s High Skool Mania, Duo Entertainment are proud to bring you the action-packed stage version of Basil’s current hit Saturday morning TV show – Basil’s Swap Shop!

After the successful reunion of The Manfreds in 1991, the band returns with their timeless anthems Do Wah Diddy Diddy, 5-4-3-2-1 and Mighty Quinn. Alan Price brings his own quintessential style to the show with his classics I Put a Spell on You, Simon Smith And His Amazing Bear and The House That Jack Built. Rebel Rouser Cliff Bennett completes the show with hits including One Way Live, I’ll Take You Home and Got To Get You Into My Life.

Marty Wilde, Jet Harris and Eden Kane with Roxanne Wilde and the Wildcats join forces in a spectacular evening of music that will show they were born to rock and roll. The fifties were without doubt some of the most exciting and important years in the history of music. With the arrival of rock 'n' roll, a whole new pop culture was born. Performing their own hits and collaborating live-on-stage, Marty, Jet and Eden show us how rock ‘n’ roll, with its fusion of sound and rhythm shaped the style of music that we listened to then and still do even right up to this day. Tickets £22.00, £24.00

Join Basil, partnered by ‘Mr Stephen’ – Chris Pizzey, star of CBBC's Basil Brush Show – for a hilarious fun-packed family afternoon, with gallons of games, giggles and prizes. BOOM BOOM! Tickets £13.00 Family Ticket £46.00 (2 adults, 2 children) Premiere Family Ticket £40.00 (2 adults, 2 children)

Tickets £23.00, £25.00



Sat 9 October | 7.45pm

Sun 10 October | 2pm

Thu 14 October | 7.45pm

The Drifters

Circus Hilarious

That’ll Be The Day

Keep Britain Laughing

Brand-new 25th Anniversary show Over the last 55 years The Drifters have amassed a catalogue of over 50 hits, selling in excess of 114 million albums across the world. During this time more than 60 vocalists have performed as part of the group but the constant has been the Treadwell family. Today’s line-up are proud and honoured to be the latest chapter in the Treadwell dynasty and uphold the musical and performance values instilled by George Treadwell. Don’t miss this opportunity to hear all the classic hits by The Drifters including Saturday Night At The Movies, Little Red Book and Under The Boardwalk. Tickets £23.50, £21.50

The UK’s No 1 Circus of Laughter, Circus Hilarious, is a show which does exactly what it says on the tin (well on the posters anyway). Now 15 years old, Circus Hilarious is creating laughter and mayhem all over the UK. Winners of the CFA Best Comedy Award and the Ken Dodd Comedy Award, father and son Clive Webb and Danny Adams, together with award-winning clown Cousin Timoni and Mick Potts’ legendary rock band Clownforce, create side-splitting humour with all the fun, magic and excitement of the Big Top. With unmissable slapstick comedy, magic, lots of surprises, world famous international artists and the stunning Circus Hilarious Dancers.

The legendary That’ll Be The Day, the UK’s most successful touring rock ‘n’ roll production, returns with its 25th Anniversary show. Trevor, Gary and the gang return with the show’s ‘greatest hits’ featuring the most popular feel-good comedy routines and favourite hits from the 1950s, 60s and 70s that have been performed in the show over the last 25 years. We guarantee you’ll be on your feet and dancing before the night is over!

‘Non-Stop Nostalgia!’ The Express Tickets £22.50

Tickets Adults £12.50 Children & Concessions £10.50 Family Ticket £42.00 (2 adults, 2 children) Premiere Family Ticket £38.00

Tickets 01322 220000

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Mon 11–Wed 13 October | 7.30pm, Wed Mat 2.30pm Following last years successful visit Gotta Sing Gotta Dance returns with a brand-new show. In two hours of spectacular song and dance numbers from stage and screen, a top West End cast and superb live band invite you on an exhilarating journey through the wonderful world of musical theatre. From the MGM movie musicals of Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly to stage classics Phantom Of The Opera, Les Misérables and Oliver and the latest West End smash-hits Wicked, Jersey Boys and Hairspray, Gotta Sing Gotta Dance promises you an unforgettable night at the musicals!

‘A spellbinding, smash-hit production, worthy of enjoying over and over again’ Eastbourne Herald

‘A sure hit’ The Stage Tickets £22.50 Wed Mat £17.50 Concessions £2.00 off Premiere Card 2 tickets for the price of 1 on Mon 11 October Groups 6+ £14.00



Fri 15 October | 10.30am & 1.30pm

Fri 15 October | 8pm

Sat 16 October | 7.30pm

Shakespeare 4 Kidz

The Angel Experience Live

Glenn Miller Orchestra

A Midsummer Night’s Dream Fairies and fun, royalty and romance, magic and misunderstandings: A Midsummer Night’s Dream has them all. The Bard’s comedy gets a musical transformation from Shakespeare 4 Kidz, whose dazzling version has proved a huge hit every time it has toured. Who can resist the story of two sets of lovers who elope into the woods where the audience finds Bottom and his funny friends rehearsing a play, feuding fairies and a naughty sprite called Puck, whose mismanaged magic causes no end of merriment? This is enchanting entertainment where the most famous lines are woven into easy-to-understand modern language. Tickets Adults £16.00 Children £10.00 Schools 10+ 1 free teacher seat with every 10 seats

Directed by Ray McVay Have you ever wondered if it’s time for Divine Intervention? In the 21st century there’s a growing belief amongst many spirituallyminded people that we’re surrounded by Angels who, when we learn to call upon them, may help us live more positively. Allow best-selling author Jacky Newcomb and friends to lead you on a personal spiritual journey of discovery. Jacky will advise you how to request certain Angels to assist you in specific areas of your life. The Angel Experience LIVE is an interactive and inspiring evening in the company of some of the country’s leading Angel experts and Psychic Intuitives. The Angel Experience is experimental/ investigational. There are no guaranteed or certain results and the show is for the purposes of amusement.

Tickets £21.00

Tickets 01322 220000

The UK’s foremost Big Band music director, Ray McVay, leads the official Glenn Miller Orchestra. The fabulous harmonies of Ray’s vocal group, The Moonlight Serenaders, his swinging jazz band, The Uptown Hall Gang, and the solo vocal talents of Jan Messeder and Colin Anthony, join together for an unforgettable evening! The Glenn Miller Orchestra perform original arrangements of classic wartime chart-toppers including In the Mood, Moonlight Serenade, American Patrol, as well as a tribute to Glenn’s USAAF Band and remembering the great concerts Glenn gave in Europe during WWII. This show is the complete package for Big Band affectionados and all lovers of good music. Tickets £19.00, £17.00 Concessions £1.50 off

Book Online

Wed 20–Sat 23 October | 7.30pm, Sat Mat 2.30pm

Dartford Amateur Operatic & Dramatic Society (DAODS) DAODS, the company that brought you Anything Goes, The Producers and, most recently, The Wizard of Oz, are proud to present the award-winning and much-loved musical, My Fair Lady. My Fair Lady is a musical based upon George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion, with book and lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner and music by Frederick Loewe. The story follows Eliza Doolittle, a Cockney flower girl who takes speech lessons from Professor Henry Higgins so that she can pass as a lady. Higgins takes credit for Eliza's success, but she realises that she can now be independent and believes she no longer needs him. DAODS’ superb stage version includes the unforgettable songs I Could Have Danced All Night, Get Me To The Church On Time, The Rain In Spain and Wouldn't It Be Lovely.

Tickets Wed & Thu £15.00, £16.00 Fri & Sat Eve £16.00, £17.00 Sat Mat £14.00, £15.00 Concessions £1.00 off Family Ticket £54.00 Fri 7.30pm only (must include at least one child under 16) Groups 10+ Buy 10 tickets get 1 free








Wed 27 October | 7.30pm

John Bishop: Live

The multi-award winning comedian and star of Live At The Apollo, Michael McIntyre’s Roadshow, Skins, Mock The Week and 8 Out of 10 Cats, performs his brand-new show.

Sun 24 October | 7.30pm

‘Frankly hilarious’

Royal Philharmonic Orchestra The world-renowned Royal Philharmonic Orchestra returns to The Orchard with a celebration of the very best of classical music. The concert opens energetically with Smetana’s exuberant The Bartered Bride Overture followed by Spanish flair from Bizet’s Carmen Suite No.1. Pachelbel’s Canon and Sibelius’ Finlandia provide a romantic and lyrical contrast in preparation for the epic style of Gershwin’s ever-popular jazz concerto Rhapsody in Blue and Elgar’s Enigma Variations, featuring the iconic and nationalistic Nimrod movement.

The Telegraph

‘I can't help falling in love with this open, optimistic show’ Guardian Tickets £21.00

Tickets £25.00–£32.00 Concessions £2.00 off Early Bird Offer Book by 31 July and receive 25% discount, top 3 prices only Under 16s £15.00

Tickets 01322 220000

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Mon 25–Tue 26 October 7.30pm, Tue Mat 2.30pm

Experience the sensation of streetdance live in the theatre! Mixing nightclub vibes with West End production values and the raw impact of a music gig, Blaze is a high-energy show of non-stop dance from some of the world’s hottest DJs, B-Boys and streetdancers. With stunning sets and 16 of the best streetdancers and breakers in the world, Blaze is directed by top West End director and choreographer Anthony van Laast (Mamma Mia!, Sister Act), with choreography from some of the brightest and hottest names in streetdance. The international cast of Blaze is comprised of nine different nationalities, and includes the two finalists of So You Think You Can Dance (UK) Tommy Franzén and Lizzie Gough, Lil’ Steph of Flying Steps and American DJ Hazze (Zulu Nation) and talent from the UK and the Netherlands who will be making their West End debuts. The three best breakers of the world, Neguin (Brasil), Mouse (UK) and Machine (USA), complete the cast.


E 25 O AT 2.30 CTOBER pm JUST £1 & PAY 6.00 PE R TICKET !

Tickets Tue 2.30pm £18.50 Mon & Tue 7.30pm £18.50, £22.50, £24.50 Premiere Card 2 tickets for the price of 1 on Mon 25 October

Join our DJ in the foyer during the interval and post-show. Bar will be open until 1am. 27


Thu 28 October | 8pm

Sat 30 October | 7.30pm

Sun 31 October | 7.30pm

Tommy Fleming

Peter Alliss

The Stylistics

The Voice of Golf

Tommy Fleming, one of Ireland’s top entertainers, has many times been described as the ‘Voice of Ireland’ and is currently enjoying a hugelysuccessful career spanning the last 18 years. Tommy is famous for his own arrangement of Danny Boy, Isle of Innisfree and Hard Times and has also covered songs from You Raise Me Up to Bridge Over Troubled Waters along with many more contemporary numbers. Tommy turns every song into his own, each more haunting than the previous, using his unique and powerful style that touches emotions in you that only music can reach.

With his father, Percy Alliss, among the finest players of his generation, it was perhaps inevitable that Peter would also make a very successful career in golf.

The Stylistics, with their charisma, style and harmony evolved into one of the longeststanding, most accomplished soul bands to grace the R&B scene.

Peter retired from the professional golf circuit in 1969. In constant demand for Speaking and Presentation engagements, Peter is noted for his depth of knowledge of the game of golf, his wit and 'off-the-cuff' humour.

With a string of hits to their name including You’re a Big Girl Now, You Are Everything, Betcha Golly Wow and You Make Me Feel BrandNew, they continue to perform as only they can, bringing with them the sweet, soulful memories of years past.

Peter promises an evening of anecdotes, insights, memories and laughter live on The Orchard stage.

‘Alliss is one of the finest strikers of the golf ball in the land…’

If you love soul, you won’t want to miss this legendary group performing some of their classic hits!

Daily Telegraph Tickets £25.50, £27.50

Tickets £21.00 Tickets £22.50

Tickets 01322 220000

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Tue 2–Sat 6 November | Tue 7.30pm, Wed 2.30pm & 7.30pm, Thu 7.30pm, Fri 5.30pm & 8.30pm, Sat 2.30pm & 7.30pm Following on from its sensational debut sell-out tour in 2007 and due to phenomenal public demand, Sunshine On Leith makes a very welcome return to the stage. Follow the highs and lows of Ally and his friend Davy as they return home to Leith from the army. Families, friendships and life are not all plain sailing in this funny and moving story about love and life. Starring Billy Boyd, best known for his portrayal of Peregrin ‘Pippin’ Took in Peter Jackson’s epic film trilogy of The Lord of the Rings, with a talented company of over 20 including a full live band, Sunshine On Leith is a vibrant, energetic piece of musical theatre, loved by audiences and critics alike. This is set to be the musical event of the season so whatever you do, don’t miss it!

‘Exhilarating’ Metro


Tickets Tue 7.30pm, Wed 2.30pm, Fri 5.30pm £21.50 Wed 7.30pm, Thu 7.30pm £21.50, £23.50, £25.50 Fri 8.30pm, Sat 2.30pm & 7.30pm £21.50, £23.50, £25.50, £27.50 Concessions £1.00 off Premiere Card 2 tickets for the price of 1 on Tue 2 November



Sun 7 November | 7.30pm

Mon 8 November | 7.30pm

Tue 9 November | 8pm

An Evening with Blake

Joe Pasquale

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Show

Classical Brit Winners Blake are delighted to be making a visit to The Orchard.

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, in the Chinese year of the Tiger, Joe has been honing his psychic skills with the legendary Zen Master, The Emperor Wang, (otherwise known as Kevin Bloss).

Since taking the music industry by storm in 2007, Blake have had an incredible journey, successfully bridging the gap between pop and opera. They have released two further award-winning albums, have travelled the globe, performed for Royalty, have been seen performing for many high-profile sporting occasions and have been nominated for a second coveted Classical Brit Award for ‘Album of the Year’. Blake’s incredible blend of voices is what sets them apart from the rest and they continue to wow audiences wherever they perform.

ESP = Extra Sensory Pasquale

Joe is hitting the road and opening his third eye, where you the audience will take part in amazing experiments that will answer age-old questions, like, why do we only use 28% of our brain power while the other 31% lies dormant? Why do birds suddenly appear… every time you are near? Here’s a quote from eminent Austrian psychic, Professor Alf Wiedersehn, ‘I saw Joe in TK Max’ Legendary Stuff.

This stunning new note-for-note production brings one of Rock ‘n’ Roll's greatest landmark albums back to life in truly breathtaking fashion. Featuring some of the best musicians from the Fab Four’s own home town of Liverpool, and backed by a spellbinding new light show, original big screen animations and a host of fun surprises, this show is a must for Beatles Fans old and new! The performance of Sgt Pepper in its entirety will be followed by an hour of live, simply sensational, Beatles classics. £1.00 from every ticket sold will go directly to the Beatles Day Foundation.

Tickets £25.50

Suitable for all the family. Tickets £22.50 Under 16s £15.00 Premiere Card £15.00

Tickets £18.00

Tickets 01322 220000

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Wed 10–Sat 13 November | Wed & Thu 7.30pm, Fri 5.30pm & 8.30pm, Sat 3pm & 7.30pm From the sexy, spontaneous rumba to the slick footwork of the cha-chacha, this is a show that's guaranteed to get heads-nodding and feet-tapping. Direct from a sell-out run in the West End's Peacock Theatre, Havana Rakatan is now bringing all the heat of a Cuban summer to Dartford. Jazz, mambo, bolero, son, cha-cha-cha, rumba and salsa all come alive in dazzling dance displays, full of Cuban passion. Featuring one of Cuba's most popular Son bands live-on-stage, this is a captivating and colourful journey through the dance and music of a truly unique country.

'A brilliant band and the dancers' energy is infectious' The Guardian

'Rip-roaring entertainment... expectations were fulfilled to the point of a full-throated standing ovation' Time Out Tickets Wed, Thu & Fri 5pm £22.50 Fri 8.30pm & Sat £22.50, £24.50, £26.50, £28.50 Premiere Card 2 tickets for the price of 1 on Wed 10 November



Sun 14 November | 7.30pm

Colin Fry and TJ Higgs A Christmas Message Colin Fry and TJ Higgs are two of the most celebrated Psychic Mediums and within their brandnew show they deliver messages of love and comfort. Be stunned by their breathtaking accuracy and compassion in this all-new show as they conduct an evening of intimate communication with your loved ones. Colin Fry of television’s 6th Sense and Colin Fry Live! has previously appeared alongside his spiritual female counterpart TJ Higgs in The Three Mediums and Psychic Private Eyes. A Christmas Message with Colin Fry and TJ Higgs is experimental / investigational. There are no guaranteed or certain results and the show is for the purposes of amusement.

Tickets £25.00

Swan Lake – Mon 15 November | 7.30pm The Nutcracker – Tue 16 & Wed 17 November | 7.30pm, Wed Mat 2.30pm

Swan Lake & Nutcracker Performed by The Moscow City Ballet and The Moscow City Ballet Orchestra Swan Lake – Set to Tchaikovsky's sublime score, this flawless production is a stunning demonstration of the precision, artistry and sheer grace for which Moscow City Ballet is renowned throughout the world. Be moved by this fable which follows the fate of Prince Siegfried and he falls in love with the beautiful Swan Queen, Odette. The Nutcracker – With Tchaikovsky's rousing and familiar score, sumptuous sets and fabulous costumes, this magical production follows little Clara's adventures as her world is transformed into a magical snowy pine forest and then into a colourful Kingdom of Flowers. Tickets £21.50–£30.50

Tickets 01322 220000

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Thu 18 November | 7.45pm

Fri 19 November | 7.45pm

Sat 20 November | 7.45pm

Who’s Bad


Elvis on Tour

The Closest thing you will get to see Michael Jackson Live

The Heart of The Eagles

The electrifying Who’s Bad tribute show is heading to The Orchard complete with glitzy jackets, glittering gloves and 80s regalia.

Desperado hit the UK as part of their massive 2010 world tour.

2010 is the year Elvis would have been 75!

An evening featuring all the classic Eagles songs delivered in full Eagles sound and vision. If you missed The Eagles' recent stadium tour dates, don’t worry, its all here in ‘The Fast Lane!’

This is a very special production starring Michael 'Memphis' King and Steve ‘Hollywood’ Halliday charting the full untold story of Elvis in both words and music.

Who’s Bad takes you on a musical expedition spanning three decades of Michael Jackson’s chart-topping music. With an impressive song list including ABC, Black Or White, I Want You Back, I’ll Be There and Thriller, no song is forgotten in this electrifying revival of Pop Music’s Royal Highness. Founded in 2004, Who’s Bad has crafted an intricate performance complete with synchronised dance routines, blaring horns and downdeep rhythms, each delivered with a precision that could only be superseded by the King himself.

Performing classic hits including Hotel California, New York Minute, Life In The Fast Lane, Wasted Time, One Of These Nights, The Last Resort, Lyin’ Eyes, New Kid In Town, Take It To The Limit, The Long Run, Heartache Tonight, and much more.

The impact made by Elvis in fashion, music and trend cannot be underestimated. This show covers all the eras from early Rock n' Roll, the 68 Comeback special, The Film music, The Aloaha from Hawaii Songs, The Vegas specials and much much more.

Pure entertainment! Pure Eagles!

Tickets £20.50, £23.50

Tickets £18.50, £19.50 Tickets £26.50






Sun 21 November | 2.30pm

Tue 23 November | 7.45pm

Wed 24 November | 7.30pm

High School Rocks

Jimmy Greaves & Geoff Hurst

Mods vs Rockers

A high-energy, foot-stomping, totally interactive production featuring the very best hits from High School Musical 1, 2, & 3, Hannah Montana, Camp Rock and Glee!

Two of England’s great football heroes head to Dartford.

Mods vs Rockers recreates all the brilliant music of the 60s starring five world-class musicians, who have played with some of the biggest and greatest names in Rock History.

Join the superb cast for a rollercoaster ride of fun as they invite you to the ultimate party to celebrate all of these awesome teen sensations in one fantastic concert. Don’t forget your dancing shoes and be prepared to rock out as High School Rocks!

This is a great talk show starring Jimmy Greaves and special guest, 66 World Cup final hat-trick hero, Sir Geoff Hurst, with compère Terry Baker. You will hear the legends talk amusingly and seriously about both football and life. Over 14s only Tickets £19.50, £21.50

Wildcats – Get ready to Party! Tickets £13.50

Join the band as they play the very best music from The Who, The Small Faces, The Kinks, The Doors, The Stones, The Beatles, The Yardbirds, Manfred Mann, The Nashville Teens, Early Pink Floyd, Desmond Dekker and much more. This nostalgic night of classic hits is set to one of the best 60s party that you will ever attend. Tickets £17.50

Tickets 01322 220000

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Thu 25 November | 7.30pm

Fri 26 November | 2pm

Pasadena Roof Orchestra

A Very Merry Jim Jeffries Christmas Music Alcoholocaust Hall

Swinging into Christmas! Come and enjoy an evening of Christmas songs, ballads and timeless classics of the 1920s and 30s, played with The Pasadena Roof Orchestra's inimitable style and panache! Over the last 40 years, the Orchestra has taken its brilliant musical arrangements around the world to tumultuous applause and now for the first time, you can thrill to their Christmas programme including special arrangements of White Christmas, By The Fireside, The Savoy Christmas Medley and many other favourites – tunes to swing you into the right mood for a warm and gentle Christmas season. Merry Christmas, one and all! Tickets £19.50 Concessions £2.00 off

Christmas Music Hall returns with a matinee performance of music, comedy and fun to celebrate the festive period. This Yuletide afternoon is packed with Christmas favourites and stars Andy Eastwood (The Musical Merrymaker), Tony Leyton (Radio's Golden Voice), Andante (Celtic Music and Song), Les Wilson (Comedy Star) and The Knightsounds. Celebrate the very best of Christmas music and sing-a-long to your favourite carols with A Very Merry Christmas Music Hall. Tickets £13.00 Tea & Cake (post-show) £3.00 Book in advance by calling the Ticket Office. Show & Lunch Book the show and a 2-course lunch at The Circle Restaurant for just £25.00

Fri 26 November | 8pm

Never afraid to court controversy, Jefferies' forthright and opinionated shows have sometimes divided audiences. But no-one ever said being a comedian was easy, even if Jefferies makes it look that way. With five Edinburgh Fringe sell-out shows, numerous TV appearances including Have I Got News For You, Never Mind The Buzzcocks, 8 Out of 10 Cats and Angry Young Men in the UK, and Conan O’Brian, and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Stateside, his own HBO hour comedy special, I Swear To God, Jefferies is now one of the biggest names in comedy around the globe.

‘Jefferies will have you roaring in the aisles’ ★★★★★ Edinburgh Evening News Tickets £16.00


Image: Dreamboats & Petticoats


Great benefits! Fantastic price! Join now! Invest in The Orchard Premiere Card and enjoy exclusive benefits to make your next theatre visit even more special. At just £29 per year you can cover the cost of your membership fee during your first visit to The Orchard and continue to save £££s throughout the rest of the year!

Join now and enjoy the following exclusive Premiere Card benefits: • Special discounts and exclusive two-for-one ticket offers • Priority booking period • Special email offers • Try Something New discount voucher • 20% discount at The Circle Restaurant • Priority bar during interval on Premiere Card nights • Post-show receptions and meet-the-cast opportunities

Tickets 01322 220000

• No booking or resale fees • Free cloakroom • Theatre tours • Regular newsletters • Premiere Card trips Joining couldn’t be easier. Visit or call the Ticket Office on 01322 220000. If you would like more information on The Orchard Premiere Card please contact our Ticket Office on 01322 220000 and we will tell you all about this money saving scheme. Terms and conditions apply.

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The Orchard Youth Theatre – Be part of it!

The Show Must Go On

A Night Less Ordinary

Join our Support Team – The Orchard needs volunteers to work across all areas of the theatre from front-of-house to marketing and education.

We are delighted to be taking part in A Night Less Ordinary, the Arts Council England scheme in association with Metro, which will provide 618,000 free tickets to anyone under 26 in more than 200 venues across England. This is an exciting initiative and we look forward to welcoming under 26year-olds free of charge at least one day a week from now until March 2011 subject, of course, to availability.

Saturday Mornings aren’t for lie-ins! After a hugely successful first year, The Orchard Youth Theatre returns bigger and better than ever. Still offering the chance to perform on the main stage, The Orchard Youth Theatre gives children and young people the chance to learn a wide range of performing arts skills in an inclusive, encouraging and supportive environment. The Orchard Youth Theatre offers regular performance opportunities as well as a range of exciting projects and workshops. Whether it’s just for fun, to meet new people or the start of a career in the arts, our youth theatre truly has something for everyone. Enrol early at

Volunteers are entitled to a range of benefits: • Chance to see a variety of shows • Free/discounted tickets • Free Premiere Card membership • Theatre and West End trips • Theatre tours • Regular newsletter

For more information please see

If you are interested and want to find out more about volunteering please visit or call 01322 220099.

For further information contact Tamara Wilder on 01322 220099 or


By Phone or In Person The Ticket Office is open Mon–Sat 10am–6pm and 15 minutes after curtain-up on evening performance days. On Sundays and Bank Holidays the Ticket Office is open 90 minutes prior to the performance. Ticket Office: 01322 220000. Book Online 24-hour booking is available online at Book by Post The Orchard, Home Gardens, Dartford, Kent DA1 1ED Postal ticket requests should be accompanied by cheque or postal orders, made payable to The Orchard, and of the sufficient value to cover ticket cost and administration fee (see Methods of Payment section). Reservations Tickets may be reserved without payment and will be held for five working days but must be paid for or cancelled no later than 24-hours before the performance. Group reservations may be reserved for a longer period by agreement with the Ticket Office.

Seating Plan



Refunds and Exchanges Tickets will not be exchanged or refunded for any reason unless a performance has been cancelled or postponed. Gift Vouchers Available from the Ticket Office and must be used within one year of purchase. Administration Fee All telephone bookings are subject to a £1.00 per ticket charge capped at £4.00 per transaction. In person bookings are subject to 50p per ticket capped at £4.00 per transaction. Online purchases are subject to £3 per transaction fee. Cash payments, The Orchard Premiere Card Members and Group Bookings of 10+ are exempt from the administration fee. Some special one-night events may incur a per ticket booking fee of £2.00 or £2.50. Please see individual show listing in this Brochure for details of when this applies.



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Pricing and Concessions The Orchard spends £1.00 of the price of your ticket on improving your theatre. Where offered, concession ticket prices apply to those either over 60 or under 16 years old, unwaged, fulltime




Premium Seats At all performances a small selection of premium seats, the best seats in the auditorium, are available at £4.00 more than top-price seats. To book a premium seat please ask at the Ticket Office at the time of booking.


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Methods of Payment Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, Delta, Switch, Solo, cheques and postal orders (made payable to ‘The Orchard’). On the back of the cheque please include the cheque guarantee number, card expiry date, booking reference number and card guarantee limit. Please add a £1.00 per ticket charge capped at £4.00 per transaction as an administration fee.

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students or people with a disability. Only one discount can apply per ticket. Appropriate identification may be required upon request. Not all concessions are available online. Ticket prices subject to change in line with the prevailing VAT rate at the time of purchase. Babes in Arms Children under 18 months: £1.00 on selected performances. For applicable performances please ask the Ticket Office at time of booking. The Orchard retains the right to exclude babes in arms from selected performances.

By Train The Orchard is situated in Dartford town centre with Dartford railway station just two minutes’ walk-away. There are direct trains from South East London and Kent.  By Road Easily reached by car, The Orchard is well sign-posted on all local routes into Dartford. From the A2 and M25. Follow signs for Dartford Town Centre.

Access and Assistance The Orchard offers complimentary tickets to essential carers for disabled visitors. For full access information visit our website or contact the Ticket Office.

The Civic Centre car park, just over the footbridge, offers free access after 6pm on weekdays and all day at weekends.

The Orchard An HQ Theatre

Copies of this Brochure are available in large print and other accessible formats. Please contact the Ticket Office.

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Data Protection From time to time The Orchard would like to let you know about future productions and special offers that we think you may be interested in. If you would prefer not to receive such information please inform the member of staff who answers your call.

Parking Parking is available at two locations within a short walk. The Orchards Shopping Centre multi-storey car park is adjacent to the theatre. Please note that the Waitrose ground level car park is not available to theatregoers.

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All attempts are made to ensure that show information and prices are correct at the time of going to print but may be subject to subsequent alteration. Discounts and concessions may be withdrawn at any time at the discretion of the management. We reserve the right to introduce offers which cannot be applied to tickets already purchased.

Brochure produced by adverset media solutions limited freephone 0800 064 3883


BOOK EARLY FOR... Moscow State Circus Thu 27–Sun 30 January 2011

Buddy Tue 1–Sat 5 February 2011


‘Fail-safe family entertainment’ Daily Express

‘PERFECT. Everything a musical should be’ BBC

THE ORIGINAL AND BEST IS BACK! Tickets 01322 220000

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The Orchard July - November 2010