INSIDE lacuinaguarra///‘gross’ferry tales///beaaatch ya!
KISS + CUENTA A SEX ADVICE COLUMN PA G E 7
B A R C E L O N A ’ S F R E E C U L T U R A L N E W S W E E K LY | W W W . B C N W E E K . C O M | S E P T 8 – 1 4 , 2 0 0 6
I N V E S T I G AT I V E R E P O RT
SCHOOL OF SKOL HANGIN’OUT WITH SOME HARD-LEARNING ESTUDIANTES DE LA MARCHA PA G E 6
VOL 1, NO 14
THE BACK TO SCHOOL ISSUE
INCUBADORA OF A NEW EUROPE?
A NEW CROP OF EXCHANGE STUDENTS IS ARRIVING. THEY AREN’T HERE TO STAY — JUST TO LEARN THEIR LESSON. SO,WHAT’S BARCELONA TEACHING THEM? PA G E 4
VOL 1, NO 14
SEPT 8-15, 2006 W W W. B C N W E E K . C O M
E D IT O R’ S L E T T E R Since the end of July, BCN WEEK has been on Radio Nacional de España (RNE) every night, Monday through Friday from 23:00-00:00h. For some reason, we have been selected as the voice of los guiris in Barcelona — a frightening prospect for some of you, I am sure. Every night we are asked (in Catalan nonetheless) our opinions on topics ranging from local to global politics, music, and what it is like for us living in Barcelona. As BCN WEEK is made up of people from all over the world, each of our experiences is a little different based on where we come from, despite our common language. I am not sure who is listening to RNE at that time every night — most likely taxi drivers — but I would like to know what listeners think of us, especially the few of us that speak Catalan flawlessly (that wouldn’t include me). We will be on through September 12th if you want to tune in and listen to what we have to say to you. I studied in England my third year in college. It was an important moment in my life. I returned to the States with a new boyfriend, questionably short hair, a pierced nose, and a changed major. I have seen these students around town — young, carefree, and always with one of the university folders that I so covet under their arms (they just look so sturdy!). Erasmus: they come from all over the world to make some memories, study some Spanish, cheat on their partners who have been left back in their homeland, and unknowingly increase Freixenet’s quarterly earnings. So we were wondering, what does Erasmus mean for Barcelona? What do these youngsters filled with hope and endless possibility think of this great city? Luckily, we have the excuse of BCN WEEK to find out. Next week we’ll be answering one of the world’s most difficult questions: no, not what one is supposed to do with carrilladas (cow cheeks), but rather what makes a city “in,” and is Barcelona past her prime? Stay tuned.
La Cuina Guarra BY
spaghetti with weevils and bolognese sauce INGREDIENTS
Spaghetti 1 Can Tomàquet Triturat 1 Can Tomàquet Trossejat Ground Meat Onions Garlic Green Peppers Olive Oil Red Wine Brown Sugar Salt Oregano Basil
J E N N @ B C N W E E K .CO M
staff Marcus Villaça foundeR / creative director Jennifer Cross co-founder / editor / publisher Lena Wiget managing / listings editor David Tressel copy editor Alfredo Lahoz photo editor Tiffany Carter proofreader / pie baker Laurent Bompard distribution director
3 “How come I always have to cook the spaghetti? I thought you were making me a romantic meal and I didn’t have to do anything.” Add salt to the water. 4 “Per que tens més bon ull per afegir-hi la quantitat adequada.” 5 Shrug. Open the Chimay tin where you keep your pasta products and pull out the spaghetti. “EEEE. Fuck. There’s a bunch of bugs in here. Mira.” 6 Grip the bag of spaghetti tightly when he tries to wrench it from you and begin adding it to the boiling salted water. 7 “QUÈ FAS?!?” 8 “It’s ok baby. They’ll float to the top and I can spoon them out.” 9 Spoon out weevils when they float to the top.
P R E PA R AT I O N
10 When your boyfriend sulls up and storms off to get his shoes, count to 5 and then follow, asking him where he’s going and what’s wrong.
1 Sit on your ass with a Voll-Damm and the new Harper’s while your boyfriend makes the sauce.
11 “Em fa fàstic. No menjaré això.”
2 Get up to add the spaghetti when he calls and tells you the water is boiling.
12 Kiss him. Tell him you will make him some macaroni.
editorial contributors Kade Agan, Laurent Bompard, Tiffany Carter, Jacinda Collie, Isolda Dosrius Déulafeu, Elliots Döttir, Núria Ferrer, Ana-Maria Masci, Ladu Ondina Osborne, Amando Rizzo, Lucy Wyatt
advertising sales Domenico Composto firstname.lastname@example.org Joe Littenberg email@example.com Robert Senior firstname.lastname@example.org
Kade Agan marketing intern Anna-Maria Masci marketing Intern
San Gil 2, bajos 2, 08001 Barcelona, Spain email@example.com | www.bcnweek.com D.L. L-741-06 © 2006 all rights reserved
Guiri Trivia! Almost 2.200 higher educatioN institutions in 31 countries participate in the ERASMUS EXCHANGE PROGRAM. the european commission
THE BACK TO SCHOOL ISSUE
the legacy of
donerasmito THEY GET THEIR OWN NIGHTS AT SPOTS LIKE LA OVEJA NEGRA AND CAN PUMUKI.THEY HOOK UP MORE IN ONE SEMESTER THAN YOU HAVE IN THE PAST EIGHT YEARS. AND THEY HIT THE BOOKS...ONCE... MAYBE. BY
‘don erasmito and the holy grail’ l i t o g r a p h y, c i r c a 2 0 0 6 a d
O RI G I NA L L I T O G R A PH Y BY A L B E RT DU RE R ; B E E R C OU RT E SY O F E S T RE L L A
They come every winter, every spring, summer, and fall. They come in droves…in packs. They come from France, Iceland, Germany… Europe. They come from the Americas — North, South, and Central. They have a few things in common: they’re all students, they’re all here temporarily, and they’ve all been given a free folder with their program name proudly plastered on the front. Erasmus — WHAM! — here’s your free folder, welcome to Barcelona. Erasmus is just one program — the most famous perhaps, but there are more: Institute for the International Education of Students (IES), Leonardo, Pioneer, Cultural Experiences Abroad (CEA), in addition to general masters and doctorate programs — SMACK! — bienvenido, temporary guiri! Each year, these programs bring more and more and more foreign students into Spain. Since 2000, the number of Erasmus students in Spain has climbed steadily from just over 17.000 in 2000/01 to over 23.000 in 2004/05, and that’s just counting students from the European 18 which are nations that enjoyed full EU member status at the time of the survey. Erasmus’ fields stretch even farther, however, including crops of students in many other countries such as Russia, the Czech Republic, Poland, and more, pushing the totals for Spain up above 25.000 students per year. Inevitably, a large portion of these traveling academics fancy a tour of duty in Barcelona.
It seems sun, beaches, cosmopolitan diversity, and, of course, fiesta are major pulls. Erasmus graphs estimated the total number of students in Catalunya in 2005 at 3,371. In the quite recent past, the exponential growth of tourism from the USA has been matched by similar growth in the numbers of American students studying abroad in BCN. When IES, a program specializing exclusively in American students, began in the fall of 2002, its first group totaled 83. This fall they have approximately 300 students enrolled. As we speak, these gringos are getting off planes, making sad faces as their dollars turn into fewer euros, and looking for that big blue airport bus. In winter, 500 more will come. In spring, 200 more. IES alone brings 1,000 americanos through every year, and that number continues to grow. According to Xavier Purificación (vaya nombre, hombre!), who is currently working on a still unfinished study in conjunction with Turisme de Barcelona and the BCU (Barcelona Centro Universitari) on the economic impact international students have on BCN, approximately 5,000 Americans are coming to this city during this school year. Exact totals are impossible, as not all students that come to study are censurados. According to El País, 12,500 foreign students were studying in Catalunya in 2005. This year, if growth trends continue (which they seem to be doing), Catalunya will be called home by, por lo menos, 14,000 foreign students, the large majority of whom will be in Barcelona. That’s a lot of new people to meet. Why they choose Barcelona differs from student to student. The most common responses are those you would expect. The lovely Lily, a Parisian wrapping up her time here in BCN after her Erasmus year, said it was like a pequeña París. I took minor offense, but her point is valid: Barcelona has culture, music, cinema, and cosmopolitan diversity. If you’re looking for variety and options, it’s a good choice. Other
website, http://istudy.iagora.com, students responded to the prompt, “I wish I had known…” with, for example, “that Catalan is so widespread. That some classes at university are only given in Catalan! I would have taken some classes before!” This is hardly excusable. Not to blame the students entirely, but even mediocre research would inform them that in Catalunya, people speak… wait for it… CATALAN! Surprise, surprise. However, some blame must also be placed on the universities and the different study abroad program representatives who fail to point out to students interested in learning Castellano that their classes and course info will be in Catalan. “Oh… gee, I forgot to mention that…” There seems to be a prevailing opinion that Erasmus and other similar programs are more like an extended vacation than a period of genuine study. Of course, the amount of truth in this depends on the student. How much you get out of something is directly proportionate to the amount of effort you put into it. According to Lily, many of her fellow students rarely went out, spending the majority of their time in the libraries of their universities, studying. They were perfectly content with their time here, doing what they wanted to do. They should be commended — but Lily’s academic story is a more common one, with a fairly negative view of the Spanish/Catalan educational system. First semester, September to January, she went to most of her classes and passed easily. The classes, however, never really sparked her interest and during the second semester, from February to June, she “almost never went to class.” The classes, Lily? “Fatal.” As we should hope, her Spanish professors here were more knowledgeable when it came to teaching Spanish literature, grammar, culture, and history than their French counterparts at her university in Paris, but, according to Lily, professors here never made efforts to engage the students. It was pure, boring lecture, she said, in amphitheater classrooms. “Every
Exact totals are impossible,as not all students that come to study are censurados. According to El País,12,500 foreign students were studying in Catalunya in 2005.This year, if growth trends continue (which they seem to be doing),Catalunya will be called home by, por lo menos,14,000 foreign students,the large majority of whom will be in Barcelona. That’s a lot of new people to meet. responses add in the beach, the nice weather, the siesta, the fiesta, and the generally laid-back attitude. Combine all these and you have generally satisfied students abroad. Very few foreign students have harbored bad feelings for the city itself, and while some found it expensive, none found it boring. The appeal of the city seems to overshadow, however, a rather important truth apparent to all those who have lived here for even as little as one week. We are technically in Spain, but we are also in Catalunya — KAPOW! — benvinguts, guiri amics! The language classes are conducted in depends largely on the university. At the Universitat of Barcelona (UB) the majority of classes last year were taught in Castellano, although a significant number of Catalan classes were also offered. At the Universitat Politècnica de Catalunya (UPC) half of the classes were in Catalan and half in Castellano. Other schools are predominantly Catalan. Lily and Mateo, who is from Italy, did not find classes taught in Catalan to be particularly difficult. Nor did they find making friends with Catalans to be overly troublesome. However, their countries of origin and their native very-Latin based languages give them an obvious advantage with regard to their Catalan comprehension. Students from northern European countries or from the States found it more difficult to cope with their encounters with the language and with Catalans themselves. An Icelandic student who studied at the Universitat Autonoma de Barcelona (UAB) and who will remain anonymous warned future students that “this is Catalonia, not really Spain. Therefore the official language of the UAB is Catalan, not Spanish, so many courses are taught in Catalan, and some teachers and students don’t respond to anything but Catalan. Also, all forms and info regarding the courses are in Catalan.” That would be hard enough for someone who had lived here for a year, let alone a BCN rookie. In student reports published on the
day I would go to class ready to take notes, but I would be so bored that I would put my head down and go to sleep. After a while, I decided to just sleep at home instead of going to class.” Towards the end of second semester, before exam time, she asked a fellow students for a copy of the notes, studied them, and passed the exams. Did she study a lot? You have to study “un poco, un poquetín.” My Icelandic informer felt similarly that it was “mainly just lectures, given by the teacher with a silent class. Very little class participation, and no practice seemed to be done in many classes. Often just 100% exam with no other work to do.” The educational system here is notoriously exam based. Mateo didn’t disagree, but then again, he wasn’t in class that much anyway. “I went to class about half the time, o menos.” Did you study? “Bastante poco.” How much is bastante poco, Mateo? “Two weeks per semester.” Did he pass? Damn right he did. “When you don’t speak Spanish very well they don’t expect too much from you,” noted Alec, an American who just finished his program. “Even though I came to study, I could have gotten by without learning a damn thing.” Like Lily, Alec, and Mateo, most students who come through BCN spent more time out and about, absorbing all the newness that a foreign city and language has to offer them. They also participate in trips organized through their programs exploring more of Catalunya, though they mostly stick to repeated expeditions into the cosmopolitan center as opposed to the Catalan mountain. Basically, these students do what we all do: they live here. They speak Spanish and even some Catalan in shops, on metros, while playing basketball or flirting on the beach. And so they learn. Poc a poc. Because they are young and relatively carefree, perhaps they party a bit more than the rest of us perma-guiris. After all, their time here is limited and they seem to grab life by the cojones. It’s this attitude, this energetic presence combined
AABANA AABABA ABABB we’re a hit! ERASMUS BY NUMBERS B Y Núria Ferrer
The European Union has published figures about the mobility of Erasmus students by country, and the statistics demonstrate what you probably already know: if you run into an Erasmus student on the street, she’s most likely to be from either Spain, Italy, France, or Germany. These four countries, since the establishment of the program in 1987, both send and receive the vast majority of Erasmus students. Here at home, in the 20032004 academic year, 3,631 Erasmus students came to Catalunya, making the region the third most popular destination in Spain. Of these students, 90% came to Barcelona. The only more popular provinces were Madrid, with 4,293 Erasmus students, and Andalucía, with 4,101. But these numbers don’t include those studying abroad through other exchange programs, or students from other parts of Spain, or people enrolled in Masters and Postgrads, which aren’t traditionally included in the statistics. The real number of non-Barcelonan students is actually much larger. We see them everywhere, but we can’t properly quantify. There are plenty of reasons to get these numbers straight. I like being able to accurately calculate the beach-surface-area-to-drunken-mobwith-bongos ratio on a Saturday night. But the hard data is becoming increasingly important to the Ajuntament and the Generalitat, too, because they mean big bucks and big headaches. According to data painstakingly aggregated by the Projecte Barcelona Centre Universitari (BCU), the total number of foreign students in Catalunya in the year 2004 was 20,829, and Barcelona alone has doubled the number of its foreign students in the last seven years. Given that the average student spends about 750¤ per month (not including university costs) and the average stay for these students is 7 months, BCU estimates that Barcelona is receiving about 84,000,000¤ per year from this sector. And this amount doesn’t include the contribution of the 34,400 guests per year who stay in hotels, shop incessantly, drink overpriced cortados at Zurich, and say they are in Barcelona to visit friends or family staying here. The headache, of course, is that these students need housing and infrastructure if Barcelona is to continue its growth trend in popularity. Foreign student numbers will drop off quickly if rooms become too expensive or too hard to find. Moreover, the city hopes to become an internationally-recognized educational mecca, and the prioritization of university system development over other aspects of city development is an uphill battle. In 1997, the Barcelona Centre Universitari was established to direct and coordinate all the actions the Generalitat sees fit to turn Barcelona into an international university center of reference. The BCU has three sets of goals. In the short term, they want to fill places in the universities left vacant by the recently declining birthrates in Catalunya. In the mid-term, they want the students to have a good time so that they go home and talk up Barcelona, thus promoting the marca by word of mouth. In the long term, BCU wants the students to come back for another term of study, research, or work, and thus capture international talent for the benefit of Catalunya. The BCU project is working on benchmark studies of other important university towns, analyzing government policies as to their benefits for the educational system, and working with city officials and private companies to establish more permanent housing for students. Meanwhile, the Mediterranean is looking as nice as it always has. So you may want to get used to Erasmus parties, because it seems they’re here to stay.
Guiri Trivia! More than 1 million students have studied overseas with ERASMUS,with more than 190,000 coming from Spain. the european commission 80% of all money spent on the ERASMUS project has gone out in student grants. marmara university
with indisputable diversity and love of partying, all laced with a time limit, that has a distinct effect on this city. Exactly what that effect is, though, is difficult to pin down. Do they have a significant cultural effect? Xavier Purificación shrugs that off. “In a city the size of Barcelona, not really.” Mateo agrees. “If you are with Erasmus, and you go out a lot, you affect your neurons more than anything. You don’t affect the culture much.” Mr. Purificación does agree, however, that there is definite economic impact. He insists that an entire submarket has formed in Barcelona that caters to student needs. One google search of “erasmus” shows him hard to prove wrong. From apartments and single rooms for foreign students, to guided tours of the city and its surroundings, to special fiestas, to jobs distributing flyers, to minor drug deals, to simple tourism, foreign students contribute considerably to the current economic boom in Barcelona. According to an IES study, the average American student studying in BCN in 2005 spent
1,700¤. Multiply by 5,000 students and you get 8,500,000¤. There are at least just as many Europeans spending their money as well. And South Americans. BCN sees ¤ signs! That leaves us with the last effect, the fiesta effect. “Where there are students, there’s fiesta,” says Lily. “It gives a youthful feeling and cosmopolitan coolness to the city.” “The people always change here,” adds Mateo, “it forces you to meet new people.” Who could argue that Barcelona is an incredibly easy place to meet new people? And most of these new people gleefully partake in the nightlife while imbibing the shit out of some beer, wine, sangria, green absinthe stuff, vodka red bulls, y más. Maybe they smoke porros. There isn’t much more to say about young foreign students partying. A list of specifics would fill this issue and more, and would likely delight and disgust you. While this behavior might seem one-sided, irresponsible, and juvenile, Mateo, Lily, Andrew, and countless others we haven’t interviewed agree that they learned
the kids are alright
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE YOUTH OF MAÑANA BY
Our Investigative Team
The business card for Can Pumuki features a well endowed, winking, and topless woman in a hat giving the thumbs-up to cover her nipples (cleverly). Above her is a speech bubble posing the question, “Un Chupito?” followed by the counter question: “Chupito de qué?”—exactly what the BCN WEEK Investigative Reporting Team wanted to find out last weekend. We wanted to experience a night with some young, academically-inclined Erasmus blood. Who wouldn’t want to be in the good graces of Erasmus students for one fleeting evening? None of us are any longer of Erasmus age—we have been jaded by the real world and could only hope to vicariously feel those endless possibilities of bright and hopeful futures. Students, living out lifechanging moments that will help mold them into the people they will eventually be for the rest of their lives. Can Pumuki is the Erasmus bar. If you are in the Erasmus program, you will already be well acquainted with it. We were certain to find you and determined to corrupt you and make you do regrettable things that could cause academic disqualification and deportation. Seriously. Several jokes made the rounds regarding molestation and which of us would be waking up
with a gut full of regret and a straggleeyed 20-year-old lolling on caked and sweaty sheets. The walls of Can Pumuki were covered with different Erasmus party posters advertising every kind of night imaginable, from a masquerade ball to a thong party, making the program seem more like a wet t-shirt contest than the rosy path to academic excellence. With these images firmly imprinted, we were chomping at the bit. Oh, the scandal! We quickly found our man-child. Having initially even actually hoped for immature, naïve students to abase and deride, we were pleasantly surprised when we met Massimo, who was smarter than all of us put together. Hailing from that boot-looking country across the way, he possessed the keen ability to drink us all solidly under the table while maintaining perfect composure. We watched in amazement as he and his four friends did shots of something that the objectively hot bartender (who was wearing a headset like Madonna in her ‘Blonde Ambition’ Tour for reasons we still do not understand) kept giving them; it was a continual flow of something pink and subliminally potent. They were so confident, so lanky. And then suddenly there was mention of a house party. A house
more outside class, while speaking and socializing, than they did in it. Being here gives students from other countries the opportunity to see different ways of doing things. In some cases it allows them to step outside the only “truth” they’ve ever known, in order to look back upon it from a new perspective. Alec has “gotten a much better idea of what people think of the States (bad) and how the States look from a country outside of North America (worse), where the media doesn’t make everything bad look not so bad.” Others, like Lily, found a new perspective on themselves. “I grew, living alone. It was my first time away from my parents. Renting a piso. Paying bills. You mature here. You learn a lot about yourself, about your limits, your possibilities, what you are capable of doing and not doing. Everything I’ve acquired here serves me much more for my life than for school. It was the best year of my youth so far.” A little vomit in the streets, a few drunk and slacking students, and too much noise outside our windows is a small price to pay for such growth.
z party? Oh hell yeah. What could be better than a house party with a motley bunch of students? Small canisters of compressed nitrous oxide intended for cooking and baking purposes, that’s what. The party was in L’Eixample. Erasmus students kept piling in, in two’s and ten’s and droves, and we old geezers managed to keep up our stamina. The party had already reached saturation level by the time we arrived. A broken bowl of hummus on the floor with cigarette buts in it, people spilling out of the cracks in the walls, bottles of wine and boxes of juice floating in a bathtub full of melty ice next to soaps and shampoos. The youth of our companions and the always nostalgic effects of alcohol had us remembering, with a touch of melancholy, a time not too far back, but yes, definitely in our pasts, when we were the ones talking about what we wanted to do with our lives. Who we wanted to become. What mark we were going to leave. And there we were reveling in our mixed emotions when the neighbors threatened to call the mossos on us. But the youth of Erasmus were unfazed. They saddled up with their bottles of cava and headed down to the beach, explaining, “That’s where we always end up.” As it should be.
KISS + CUENTA A SEX ADVICE COLUMN BY
PIZZA & SALADS / TERRACE SUN & SHADE / “TAKE AWAY” MON–FRI 19:30-1:30 / SAT 12:30-1:30 KITCHEN OPEN NON STOP Dear Jacinda, I’m a 24 year old guy and I masturbate a least once a day. I’m writing because I’m worried about the quality of my wank. I achieve orgasm with fantasy 99.99% of the time. Fantasy is great and I’ve got some good ones, but I think that maybe I should reach orgasm with actual manual stimulation more. Some nights when I feel like a treat, I’ll spend a good 30 minutes on myself with no fantasy, just touching and stimulating, and the orgasm I get that way is always so much better than the quick squirt fantasy provides. Stimulating my cock to orgasm with delicate touches and teasing is what masturbation is all about, while fantasy is more of a mind fuck via some manic wanking. If I occasionally have a mind-blowing orgasm through stimulation, why do I find myself, the majority of the time, wanking for wank’s sake, cumming but not really? Any thoughts? W oefulWanker Dear Woeful Wanker, I have good news and bad news: the good is that you’re a perfectly healthy, horny young male; the bad is that you need to think more with your dick. Your brain will always take the cake (and the icing) in terms of bringing you to fruition. Manic mind fucking is what jerking off is all about, my sexual neophyte! So the trick to going for the gold in the Cock Olympics of 2006 is to turn your session into a marathon of the mind. To get the cosmic relief you seek, you must extend your fantasy or bring it to a new level. You can try reading erotic literature (try www.literotica.com) if you need some help.Or work on a more detailed fantasy: instead of going straight to doggy style with your Spanish teacher after class, you might want to try having her strip for you in your mind. Catch my drift? Take things slowly for an intensified orgasm. You can also combine your new creative powers with some interesting stimulation ideas. For instance, grab that banana off the counter and slip the peel over your member; the slime produces an awe inspiring effect. If banana cream ain’t your scene, two pillows can be a lovely place to find some friction. Get the creative juices flowing and the rest will follow.
Dear Jacinda, My partner and I are having a problem. I can only reach orgasm with the use of mechanical stimulation. When we are being intimate, he feels threatened if I whip out my handy vibrator. If I don’t use it, though, he has all the fun, and I am left to my own devices just the same. We have talked about it, and he said he will try to make me reach orgasm, but I believe I have done permanent nerve damage and that this is an impossibly ambitious goal. What do you think? numb ‘n’ naughty Dear Numb’n’Naughty, Don’t worry honey, your clit ain’t broke. You have two options: ride off into the sunset on/with him without the aid of anything so 21st century, OR convince him of the pleasures of vibrating mechanical lust by getting him a toy the two of you can share. If you’ve choose option A, then you’ll want to put your special toys in a different kind of box and lock it with a key. Give your parts a few weeks to recharge their own batteries, and that should be enough to bring all lost sensitivity back. This is when you need to start with some quality time with just you and Rosy Palm. That’s right, masturbation—a sexual cure-all! So, figure out how to come on your own, and you might be able to help your lovin’ man learn how to make you scream with only his hand and his own magic wand. Now for my option B: Time to downsize, girlfriend. No man wants to compete with anything in bed that is wider than his thumb or longer than his index finger and not his penis. Off to the internet you go, and find something that fits those dimensions but has the vibrating power of my Spanish washing machine. Once you have your new friend, try a full-body massage on your man while incorporating the toy in different ways and places. Work your way to some tender spots, and once you get that first moan you’re golden. When he feels less threatened and enjoys himself with it, you’ll both be feeling good vibrations night after night! Have questiones of your own? Shoot your load at firstname.lastname@example.org
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LA FATXA BY
Isolda Dosrius Déulafeu
august. imperator name. August. Imperator name. My beloved guiri-residents, we’re you worried about ‘How we can survive around the month number eight?’ Oooh! Big care. Don’t be afraid if your bakery or bar de sempre were closed. Did you go to the streets and look for a new one? Maybe you found more fashion people... Hope you relax youself and enjoyed the city. Went to the places far away enough from the guiris-playeros. They are a mistake of last month. They decide to visit BCN only to say, when they go back home, they were in BCN. I’m sure. Last week I was in front of Picasso Museum, and I could hear a phone conversation: ‘We’re in BCN, beutiful city! Yes, yes we go to Gaudí
WE ARE SEEKING
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worry, you’ll see him tonight... yeees...’ The sun is shinning. Mollet... Cardedeu... Lloret... Girona... Begur... Figueres! We directly go to the Museum. ‘Mimí, you have big rings under the eyes’. ‘Don’t worry, if you take in account that you called me in the middle of the best mystical...’ ‘Oh! Va, Mimí. You said the same two weeks ago!’. ‘But now it’s true...’. In front of the Dalí-Museum. My God! What is this? The queue? I don’t want to wait 2 or 3 hours... And when we achieve to go in, I can imagine all spaces will be full of people, we won’t walk we won’t see anything we’ll get new little queues people and more people smells sounds voices screams they will touch my arms my wear...
..be fullof people,we won’t walk we won’t see anything we’llget a new little queues people and more people smells sounds voices screams they willtouch my arms my wear... Museum in the carrer Montcada. Oh, yeah, beautiful streets, ... but I prefer Lloret, yeah,... easier to have fast-food. Here we can’t do it... Old streets but less things...’ Què? We’re in carrer Montcada in front of Picasso Museum. They want to see all typical places in three days and after passa el que passa. They confuse Gaudí with Picasso, Colón with Clos and Les Rambles with El Camp del Barça. Well, what can I do today? August has finished, all is under control, during all summer I kept my eyes on BCN. And finally, the guiri-playeros will soon go back to their countries. So last week I took a day off. Yes! I go to Figueras, I thought, Dalí Museum, I love it! Riiing, riiing... ‘Mimí? You wanna go with me to Figueras? What?... Sisplau! You were together all night, please, let him have a break and let him go home... Have you his phone number, do you?... Don’t
Buuuuuuf! No, I definitively don’t want it. ‘Let’s go, Mimí’ ‘Ah no! Isolda, ara no! Did you see what couple of boys are in the queue?’ ‘No, I didn’t. I only see what kind of experience is waiting for us in. Come on!’ In the car, Mimí can’t stop to talk... ‘Isolda, ja està bé. First, you switch off my best electrical experience. After, the road and the sun. Later, you don’t want to know the boys in the queue, as ever! And finally, you choose the worst place in Figueres to eat: CONTINENTAL Restaurant. They rob me 16¤ for an ‘entrecot’. Did you see it? This wasn’t an entrecot. Una presa de pèl, això. And now when I call my electric boy, he can’t meet with me tonight...’. ‘Don’t cry, Mimí, please. Nearly go to BCN the Erasmus estudents, the new ones, carn fresca Isolda. Maybe you’ll find “The Orgasmus” this winter...’
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THE NEED FOR COCK BY
Please don’t worry BCN, I am receiving and reading your mail — your fan mail, your hate mail, your requests for sex/marriage mail, your mail asking me where a cool non-pink queer like me hangs out, your mail correcting misunderstood interpretations—I get it all. I received a letter from a bitter lesbian who complained that I was too “faggoty” and didn’t speak for the ladies of BCN, that I should widen my scope of topics from drag queens, saunas, gay dance-enlightenment parties and general overall cock-talk to include more subjects that my fingeringly emotional female partners in homosexuality could identify with. I generally don’t like lesbians. I think they are angry and vengeful, a rioting nuclear bomb waiting to go off, a throbbing emotional wound waiting to attach itself to another. This freaks me out, especially when they dress as boys and try to act like men, which only furthers the widely accepted notion that, much like chauvinistic macho assholes, lesbians need a cock insertion every once and a while to bring things back to center. I’m not just talking out of my ass here; I actually have lots of experience with lesbians. In the mid 90’s, I was the only gay cock in a house of four lesbian hens, and we lived out a very strange relationship. All of us were young and quite attractive, and we always went out as a group. It was soon rumored in our social circle that we were involved in some sort of
strange gay poli-sexual free-for-all— and we were, sort of. Yes, it was great and we had a lot of fun, but what I learned was that lesbians have some serious issues that I in no way can identify with. Since that day I’ve been lesbian-free and plan to keep it that way. I was the gay boyfriend to four lesbian girlfriends, and though it may sound like a fantasy to you straight boys, and actually was quite fantastic, that filled me up for life on female relationships and lesbian oddities. If you ask me, it all comes back to the cock—all of us need cock. Straight guys are good for cock because they have their own to play with, for gay guys it’s obvious, for straight girls, obvious, but lesbians—this is why they are so angry all the time, they need a good cock in their lives, plastic can only get you so far. This is why homosexual men have been termed with a word originally used for ‘cheerfulness’ and lesbians are stuck with a dry and dusty Greek island— it’s all about the cock, the mighty and delicious cock. So back to my nervous note from Ms. Enedovcok: I’m sorry, but no, I won’t be spending anytime with the needs of the vagina, and the only lesbo place I’ve been to here in BCN (I was tricked into going of course) I wouldn’t recommend. It’s owned by a woman named Mer and she looked like a cross between an ageing rugby player and a grizzly bear—imagine that between your legs. Excuse me; I’m going to vomit now.
BLACK HORSE L
© BBC/LITTLE BRITAIN’S DAFFY D
SOME LIKE IT GROSS
ferry tales it’s sort of like ‘the old man and the sea’ BY
It’s just as well that I gave up fine dining for more adventurous food experiences; an unemployed life doesn’t leave much in the way of luxury. I can still, however, savour the flavour of my life, the texture, the aroma, the overall grossness. Take summer holidays, for example. Do you think that just because I have no income I’m not going to rest and relax just like you? You underestimate me. Unable to afford a cruise in the Caribbean, my plan B was to accept an invitation to spend a few days in Menorca… a nd here I am, on the deck of a ferry, armed with a notepad, enough booze for an 8 hour trip and an iPod loaded with the right soundtrack (think Monsters from the Deep rather than The Blue Lagoon). All I have to do is observe, dislike and report. The first thing to grab my attention are those really annoying couples who walk around the deck with wide open eyes as if they were on the Queen Mary instead of a somewhat dandified ferry. Who are they trying to fool with such stiff necks and crisp shirts? We are all here for the same reason: we’re too broke to fly. There is no reason for them to act as if they are
looking for the first class deck. I’m trying not to stare at the three cuties playing in the jacuzzi or I won’t be writing about anything else, but it’s really difficult. The poor Argentine pianist playing the obvious schmaltz is also banned from my perception, thanks to Mötorhead at full blast in my earphones. The main annoyance so far, other than the knowledge that the bar will eventually close and that the jacuzzi will eventually get too cold, is this weird uneasy smile on the face of all the semi-bourgeois onboard. If something makes me dream of shipwrecks, it is definitely this polite and uncomfortable smile. I’d like to see their sorry asses in freezing water, see if they wear that smile as they get onto a lifeboat. The only ones who pass my taste test successfully are a couple of punks with their scruffy dog and the waiter, a well-seasoned sailor who takes no shit from customers who suddenly think they’re Donald Trump because they can afford a 50¤ trip. My holiday is looking all right so far, with enough junk food for thought to keep me writing until next week.
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To be continued...
the week BY
thursday /// sept 7 Maumau invites us to a night of Cortometrajes BrasilNoar starting at 22:00h. They’ll be showing a selection of fictional, animated, experimental and documentary films from Brasil and finishing off the evening with a photography exhibtion with works from Christiane Ceneviva and Marcos Hermes accompanied by chill-out tunes. Also worth a look is El Documental Del Mes, China Blue, screened today at the Filmoteca (22:00h) and the cinema Verdi Park (22:30h). At the Festival AltaVeu in Sant Boi, Obrint Pas from Valencia are playing a mix of rock, ska and reggae at the Plaça de L’Ajuntament (22:00h, gratis) while the Sala Bikini has invited the Queen tribute band from Argentina Dios Salve a la Reina to play Bohemian Rhapsody better then Freddy could ever have hoped for. But the fun is caro: 18 Euros at the door. The concert starts at 20:00h. The Reinas will be followed by the band Luz Verde. MAUMAU @ FONTRODONA 33 // FILMOTECA @ PORTAL DE SANTA MADRONA 6-8 // VERDI PARK @ CALLE TORRIJOS 49 // BIKINI @ DEU I MATA 105
Another puente is approaching: the Catalans will be celebrating The National Day of Catalonia on Monday, September 11, in remembrance of their defeat before the troops of Felipe V of Bourbon in 1714 which put an end to their nationhood. But the Catalans don’t mourn their defeats. They demonstrate and celebrate their culture and a future that shall hold more independence. The fiesta’s grand finale is taking place at Arc de Triomf with live music under the arch. On stage will be, of course, Catalan bands. Apart from the puente, the holidays are really over now. Apolo /  and Razz are again offering international bands de qualitat nearly every day of the week. And for those who prefer it local, open air and gratis, Catalan and Spanish indie groups can be found at the Festival Alta Veu in Sant Boi (really just a stone’s throw from BCN) from the 7th to the 10th of September.
friday /// sept 8 The Fiesta Mayor season is not over just yet. This weekend it’s Poblenou celebrating it’s barrio-hood. And because P9 is a little different from other neighbourhoods they’ve organised an open mic session in front of A.P. Octubre at Badajoz 23—a Nit de hip-hop combatiu. At 21:30h the Catalan Hip-Hoppers At-Versaris are playing and will then hand over the mic to their fellows in the audience. To get into the right mood, visit the Centre Civic de Sant Augustí first. Starting here at 17:00h is the opening event of the second edition of the Breakdance competition Sangre x Sangre that takes place at Sala Apolo tomorrow. Starring in Apolo : the NYer band The Toasters, pioneers of third-wave-ska who’ve been around for 20+ years. The concert starts at 20:00h and entrance costs 12 Euros at the door. In Sant Boi, the Festival AltaVeu is now in full swing with concerts starting at 22:00h at the Plaça de Ajuntament. At 24:00h the AltaVeu Frontera concerts will start up at Can Massallera—it’s a genre transgression session with the groups
Möondo, Plouen Catximbes and Fundación Tony Manero. A.P. OCTUBRE @ BADAJOZ 23 // CENTRE CIVIC SANT AUGUSTÌ @ // APOLO  @ NOU DE LA RAMBLA 111 // CAN MASSALLERA @ MALLORCA 30, SANT BOI DE LLOBREGAT
saturday /// sept 9 Theatre fans should not hesitate to leave Barcelona today because one of the biggest theatre festvials in Catalunya is taking place from the 7th to the 10th of September in Tarrega, a town close to Lleida. All day and until late at night, Catalan and international theatre companies will be performing in the streets and little theatres, and many of the shows are free (firatarrega.com). At 18:00h the second edition of the Breakdance competition Sangre x Sangre kicks off with different Spanish groups competing in sets of 3 vs 3 in Sala Apolo. Invited are various different graffiti artists and international DJs. Entrance costs 7¤. In Poblenou the Fiesta Mayor continues, today with a pubcrawl that begins at 21:00h at L’Itaca and ends up at the Casal Independista de Poblenou, stopping at 9 different bars of the barrio on
the way. Concerts and DJs finish off the evening. Starting at 21:30h: the Vallcarca Tropical festival where Ezoukeé (Rumba), Cubaneo! Lo auténtico (Música Tradicional Cubana), Orgasmic Sounds (ska 60’s) and Flight 404 (early reggae) are playing at the Placeta Alternativa for free. Lek Mum (Indie-Soul-Pop) are presenting their new CD at the Sala Castelló at 20:00h (5¤ + CD) and at La Paloma it’s time again for the SoRebel Club, today with a DJ set from Lo Fidelity Allstars. APOLO @ NOU DE LA RAMBLA 113 // L’ITACA @ PALLARS 230 // CASAL INDEPENDISTA DE POBLENOU @ BADAJOZ 23 // PLACETA ALTERNATIVA @ HOSPITAL MILITAR 55 // SALA CASTELLÓ @ AVDA. FRANCESC CAMBÓ 36 // LA PALOMA@ TIGRE 27
sunday /// sept 10 Tomorrow is the puente, so this is definitively not a Sunday to get the blues, and Blues is not really on offer today anyway. Uplifting tunes are much easier to find: Bananarama is presenting their latest album “Drama” at Razz’s Sala 1 starting at 1:00h (15 Euros at the door). At Mephisto we’ve got another Voltech Party with plen-
DANZARAMA_ RESTAURANT + CLUB Gran Via 604, Esquina Balmes / Open every day of the year from 7AM to 3AM We do group reservations, private parties, private room rentals, and all types of events Cutting edge design / Exquisite mediterranean gastronomy / Excellent quality and price / Amazing selection of music
How to get to Danzarama_ Metro_ Universidad (Line 1/red + Line 2/purple)
Bus_ Pl. Universidad (N1, N2, N3, N8, N12, N13, N14, N15) tel (+34) 93 301 97 43 info (+34) 93 342 52 70 fax (+34) 93 301 22 91 www.danzarama.com email@example.com
W H O PA C K S Y O U R LU N C H ?
the short list
bars, restaurants and hangouts que molan big time M E T I C U L O U S LY S E L E C T E D ( B U R P ! ) /// R E P E AT E D LY J U E R G A -T E S T E D /// N E V E R E V E R PA I D F O R
CORREO VIEJO, 3
TEL. 646 55 39 30
This Gótico hideaway somehow manages to combine that feeling you get when you put on your favorite jeans with bohemian bistro elegance in one little space. On the food front we have embutits inclusive of pernil d'ânec (cured duck ham) for 4¤ or the taula de Embutits which is an assortment of fantastic meats for 12¤. The Plat Mixte comes with jamon, cheese, fuet, and olives for 10¤. If you are a nice patron the staff will let you take a plum for dessert. Don't forget why you came, though: the wines—Rioja, Penedes, Empordà...and Mad Fish Shiraz (Australian) for good measure. Really. What is better then finishing your day in a candle-lit bar, with a plate of assorted olives and cheese and your nose buried in a big glass of wine? Nothing. Oh, AND as if all this wasn’t enough—Andú has daily happy hour from 18:00-21:00h where a glass of cava will only cost you 1¤.
BAR EL TRECE LLEONA, 13
Rock, pop, fusion, funk—you just never know what you’ll get at Bar El Trece. Might be Pearl Jam, could be KC and the Sunshine Band—you just can't be too sure…and surprises— isn’t that what life is all about after all? The drink menu comes on a record, which can be hard to see given the lack of lighting. Cubatas, mojitos, daiquiris—they're all there; your only job is to choose. There is a shrine in the wall behind the bar worth asking about and a mannequin’s body without a head that we wouldn’t recommend asking about. Sunday to Thursday, Bar El Trece is open until 2:30, weekends until 3:00 and they are closed on Wednesday.
TASCA EL TROPEZÓN GIGNÀS, 20 TEL. 93 310 18 64
Tasca El Tropezón isn’t the cleanest bar in town. Nor does it have the best tapas, and you are more likely to find a little bug on your table than a napkin, but sometimes it is just about the atmosphere. The buzz of the antique TV, the whirling of the fan, the sizzle of the fryer, the grumbling of the gruff waitstaff and the conversations of passers-by give this neon-lit espacio its charm. The menu has 71 items and the sugerencias box is always blank. The food is fast, cheap and palatable—the only three requirements we uphold to every place we
recommend. The waiter will give you a pen and paper, and it is up to you to write the number of your food item. The menu is pretty standard. You have your usual pimientos de padrón, pescaditos fritos, butifarra and jamón. For you more daring lot, try the chorizo al diablo which arrives to you on fire. Tapas hover around 3,50¤ with your occasional more expensive platter (the jamón plate is 12¤). A half liter of wine is 4¤, meaning if you play it right you can eat for under 10¤, watch the news, get buzzed and people-watch simultaneously.
BELLAFILA, 3 TEL. 93 318 53 47
Named after its doors, the entrance to L’Ascensor is actually a sliding elevator door. It is a little classy given our usual tendency to shy to grit and grime. Dark wooded bar, shiny chandeliers and quiet conversation—you have to be on good behavior here. This is the kind of place where you shouldn’t feel obligated to get a beer, but rather treat yourself to a
Macallan on the rocks and nurse it while watching the lovely bartender who provides all her patrons with a heaping portion of corn nuts. L’Ascensor could be more expensive, and in fact, given its swanky nature, should be more expensive—but it isn’t. Drinks are average price and corn nuts are on the house.
GRAN BODEGA ELKANO D’ELKANO, 45
If ever there was a pirate who retired and decided to open a bar/thrift shop it would be the Gran Bodega Elkano in Poble Sec. There is a healthy balance of trash and treasures inside this fishing net clad locale, where men who sport the work vest minus t-shirt look gather after a hard day of toiling. Canned goods are sold at the bar meaning you can stock up on your mejillones en escabeche (3,50¤) while swigging back some cazalla anis from a gigantic jug that sits on the cluttered bar. A plate of queso manchego is 4,50¤ and gambas are the same. Knickknacks of note: the Aztec platter hanging on the wall, no doubt pillaged by conquistadores; the stool hanging from the ceiling with varying animal hooves as feet and the Martini lantern with the handwritten F.C. Barcelona logo on it. The next time you are feeling bored, just head on up the hill, saddle up to the bar and play a heady game of “I Spy” with yourself— amusement for hours.
Is it possible to be frugal and hip at the same time?
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the week ty of Techno and House from 12:00h till six o’clock in the morning (10¤ before 2:00 with flyer). And Selecta Skapace is the theme at the little Bar Aurora just off Rambla de Raval, proving that size really doesn’t matter. Just shake it. RAZZ SALA1 @ ALMOGÀVERS 122 // MEPHISTO @ ROC BORONAT 33 // AURORA @ AURORA 7
monday /// sept 11
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tuesday /// sept 12 As part of the film cycle Condición de extranjería currently running at
capricorn A flu virus is wreaking havoc on Barcelona. Terrified,you lock yourself in your apartment and refuse to help friends in need of soup and aspirin.That’s great, really fantastic. Stop being such a selfish twat.
Aquarius You’re waiting impatiently for the arrival
‘HAPPY HAPPY’ COCKTAILS
pisces An American science team has come to the con-
5 ESQ. AVIGNÓ / BARRIO GÓTICO PLAÇA MILANS
clusion that Pluto is no longer a planet.These new facts threatened to clutter your heart with unimportant problems,but this week you’ll live on happily in the knowledge that Pluto willalways be Mickey’s dog.Oh me,pretty fishy,how I love your ways.Never ever change.
Aries A study conducted by two social psychologists at Cornell University in the US has shown that really incompetent people tend to believe that they are extremely capable. Competent people tend to be more self-critical.You’re being an extremely competent person these days.You are so, so capable. Seriously. Extremely.
taurus This coming week you’ll feel solitary and a bit NOBODY’S HEARD OF YOU
NOBODY’S SEEN YOUR BRAND
NOBODY’S TALKING ABOUT YOUR PRODUCT
melancholic.A nice meal usually puts you back on top, but this time it’s different.This time you’re going to need something more than a juicy piece of beef to cheer up.You’ll need at least two juicy beefy bits and a few sandwiches to raise your blood sugar enough to get out of this temporary depression of yours.
gemini Most of the rich and famous were once broke and unkown,with shitty jobs and no stylist to help them out with their tacky style. With this in mind we could easily draw the conclusion that you’re on the right track to fame and fortune. Don’t give up or despair, you’re heading in the right direction.
TALK TO CANELA PUBLIC RELATIONS WE KNOW HOW TO MAKE NOISE WWW.CANELAPR.COM / INFO@CANELAPR.COM
+34 93 269 09 93
the Caixa Forum today on screen is “In this world” (2002, UK) by Michael Winterbottom, a film that tells the story of two young Afghan men who plan their emigration to London. Entrance costs 2¤ and the film is showing at 19:30 and 22:00h. Rocking the little stage of the Big Bang Bar are the five guys from Frecuencia Spectru (funky-punk) who step on at 22:00h. Entrance cost 4¤. CAIXA FORUM @ AV. MARQUÈS DE COMILLAS 6-8 // BIG BANG BAR @ BOTELLA 7
wednesday /// sept 13 If most of the monthly budget is already burned up and spending six Euros on a ticket for Superman2 or Poseidon seems like an unjustifable waste, check out www.stealthisfilm.com for a cheap night in: “Stockholm, Summer 2006” is a new release only available online and only for free. It’s produced and directed by a group of friends who call themselves The Noble Peers. These nobles figured one fine day that corporate companies that dig copyright law couldn’t make a film about peer-to-peer networks. And so they did. If the documentary turns out to be boring than at least it wasn’t a waste of money.
of autumn.You’ve been fantasizing about gloves and coats and red noses. But try to enjoy the last weeks of summer, my impatient child; stop looking so far ahead.You’re here, now,and nowhere else.
FROM 19-22H EVERY DAY canela.qxd
APOLO  @ NOU DE LA RAMBLA 111
u c/ Castillejos, 286, esq. Roselló - BCN Tel y Fax 93 486 36 73
Catalunya wakes up to its national holiday that’s as much a celebration as it is a demonstration for more national rights and liberties. It’s the perfect day to inform yourself about what’s happening in Catalan civil society, to practice Catalan and to drink Catalan Cava whilst listening to some Catalan bands (the concerts start at 19:30h at Arc de Triomf with Obrint Pas, Kumbes del Mambo and Mouss & Hakim). Those who prefer to give the day a more North American touch should go hear Tony MacAlpine who’s playing at 22:00h at Apolo .
cancer What are you waiting for? You can’t have a summer romance in December, can you? Your mission for this week is to have a really
Lady Ondina Osborne
cheesy crush on someone. It has to involve: A) Sex on the beach (and not the drink) B) Communication problems ( I luuuuuv youuu! What else is there to say?) C) A teary scene at the airport (write me when you get to Sicily, let’s always keep in touch!) You need this. Do it.
leo How to drown the pain of a broken heart? Chocolate or alcohol or drugs or random sex or food or friends or traveling or shopping or dancing or flirting or writing/ drawing/sculpting or crying crying crying. Take your pick;you’re gonna need at least one of those this week.
virgo You’ve been thinking a lot about boats and freedom lately. Sometimes you just feel like leaving everything and sailing away in the sunset, never to return. Romance is going to die in the face of reality when you realize that the problem is within you and you can never get away from yourself. Face up to it, hot stuff,whatever it is.
libra “I say,we can dance if we want to,we can leave your friends behind,‘cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, well they’re no friends of mine.”Wiser words were never spoken.The Men Without Hats call out to you from their early 80’s glory insisting that you shake your ass. Don’t doubt, do it. Friends poo-pooing your boogie? Tell them to shut the fuck up and shake that ass like never before. Now’s the time.This is the moment.
scorpio Tabloid press is big business here in Spain. Who’s sleeping with who and when and how big it is and the lie she told about it last week while she was in Ibiza fills many people’s television screens every day.Are you ready for the paparazzi? They’re on their way.
sagittarius There’s not much privacy in the city. Every morning, for example, I stare at a boy who sleeps in a bedroom in a flat in the building across the street from mine. He’s maybe 23 and oh so lovely. He sleeps splayed across the sheets, innocently and almost nude. Someone has been watching you too. Someone wants to splay with you, not so innocently and completely nude.
reviews cuz we don’t do pre-views M OV I E
l’auberge espagnole WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY CÉDRIC KLAPISCH /// 2002 BY
As a former Erasmus student in Barcelona, I was surprised that I hadn’t seen L’Auberge Espagnole when it was released in 2002. In short, it’s a story about Frenchie Xavier (Romain Duris) who enrolls in the Barcelona Erasmus program in hopes of securing a job in the humdrum world of economics upon his return to Paris. Rather than learning economics, he shacks up with a group of international students in the Barri Gótic and proceeds to have an affair with a hot married woman, take a crash course on lesbian love, get dumped by his hot French girlfriend (Audrey Tautou, a.k.a. Amelie) and experience several drunken episodes in places that we can all easily recognize, all the while forming tight friendships with his flatmates. L’Auberge Espagnole was filmed in 2002, and it is pretty amazing to see the amount of change that has taken place in such a short time — the city looks almost unrecognizable at some
points. Amid forming friendships, drunken revelry and the torrid affair, Xavier didn’t appear to be doing much studying. This was my experience with Erasmus as well — and that of most of my friends. There’s one scene in the beginning when the Belgian lesbian asks a professor to speak in Spanish and he refuses, telling her to sit down; she is in Catalunya, where the official language is Catalan, and if she wanted to study Spanish she should have gone to Madrid. Again — true to life. Xavier returns to Paris, ready to commit himself to a lifetime of water cooler conversations, until he literally runs away from the office, returns home and begins to write his novel — suprisingly titled L’Auberge Espagnole. L’Auberge Espagnole is mostly in French with subtitles in Spanish. It’s worth seeing if for nothing more than to remind you of your lost youth or warn you of the youth that you will soon lose.
C O N C E RT
jazz on crack TOKYO SKA PARADISE ORCHESTRA /// APOLO /// AUG 30 BY
Promoting their newly released album Wild Peace, the ten member band Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra hit Apolo’s stage in full force, dressed fashionably in matching pink jackets, black shirts and sunglasses, lending a cool, calm and collective 50’s era feeling. TSPO toyed with the audience’s emotions by placing us in a peaceful state with their soulful jazz and bluesy tracks. Our Zen was traded for crack as the once smooth sounds from the trumpets and saxophones changed to quick piercing notes, causing the audience to jump and thrust clinched fists into the air with each beat. Solos were passed from one member to the next without hesitation, highlighting the beauty and importance of each instrument. These transitions were so smooth it seemed as if they’d done it thousands of times before — and they have. TSPO has been together for twenty-one years, releasing over 10 albums, making them the most popular thing to come out of Japan since Sapporo. The excitement faded as one song began to drag into the next, giving the impression of o n e r e a l l y l o n g s o n g. Still, the fans were happy. One girl, wiping the sweat off her face while emerging from the moshpit, told me, “after tonight’s show I’ll be heading to their next show in Madrid.” TSPO has that special ingredient that brings a sense of energy to your body, a smile to your face and causes your feet to move in directions you thought impossible. BCN
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first class DAN PERJOVSCHI /// CAIXA FORUM
I take my headphones off as I walk into the Caixa forum, because if Dan Perjovschi had wanted his art to be viewed with a soundtrack, he would have provided one. When I saw Page 2 headphones being handed out at reception, I thought maybe he did. Turns out it was for another exhibition. Just as well—silence goes best with Dan Perjovschi. I hadn’t even made it to the front door, but I felt like I had seen the exhibition. Perjovschi’s art is not usually found in galleries; he had to be convinced to have an exhibition. His art is usually found on the street: the sides of buildings, any public space he can get his chalk on. This explains why the majority of his exhibition is in the stairwell and not actually in Sala 4. Small steps. Maybe next time he’ll make it to the room. Perjovschi’s drawings are a comic-
style commentary on the local social, political and cultural happenings. You won’t find the same drawing in Berlin as you find here — Perjovschi adapts his pieces to maximise their impact. And it works. His drawings make you laugh —sometimes out loud — but as you draw in your next breath, you question our behaviour. Are we that absurd? Are we that predictable? The difference between comics and Dan Perjovschi is that he manages to say it all in one picture: a witty snap of the absurdity of human nature. He addresses American culture, global priorities, consumerism, societies that exploit tourism, tourists that exploit societies, relations between official culture and alternative cultures, prejudices and stereotypes. Are you any different? On the way out, a question on the wall slaps me in the face: “What is art? What is art for?”
mixing it up the latino way SERGIO MENDES /// TIMELESS
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That brilliant artist of Brazilian grooves,Sergio Mendes,has mixed things up for a totally different audience with his long overdue comeback album, “Timeless”.Uniting with the Black Eyed Peas’will.i.am,with a collection of urban, hip-hop and R&B idols such as Justin Timberlake and Erykah Badu,this is certainly a fusion of musical generations. With the key emphasis of this album fixated on American pop culture,Mendes embarrasses himself with a cliché bid to resurrect his mid-60’s glory using a cluster of commercial stars. Stevie Wonder gives a simple harmonica contribution to “Berimbau/Consolacao,”which is a dazzling track with beautiful instrumentals.Pharoahe Monch and will.i.am’s rhymes together with Timberlake’s harmonies on “Loose Ends” create a whole new soundbrew of samba hip-hop,pop obviously geared to a much wider and younger audience.The track “Timeless,” featuring India Arie’s smooth voice,loyally complements this little
Lucy Wyatt samba groove without a hint of rhymedropping in sight. Though the will.i.am and Mendes collaboration remains true to Mendes’ original Brazilian mastery,will.i.am steals the show with an overpowering dose of his rather savage MC rapping on over half of the tracks.“Mas Que Nada,” starts off the Brazilian bossa nova mania and sets the album’s tone. If you didn’t know what was coming on the rest of the album, it could be taken as a refreshing shake-up of an old classic. Mr.Vegas’“Bananeira” adds another twist to the party, offering some experimental reggae dancehall with a Brazilian essence.With such a mixture of styles and artists,this album as a whole is definitely interesting and if you are a big fan of will.i.am then you shall be in for a treat, but if not it might be irritating and mundane. In clearly shunning his traditional roots Mendes has embraced the masses, but does he really want to be remembered this way?
MIDDLESEX /// JEFFREY EUGENIDES B Y
Middlesex, written by The Virgin Suicides author Jeffrey Eugenides, treats the issue of gender identity with an introspective touch made all the more intimate after tracing Cal’s family lineage. The reader is treated to a trip to 1930s Greece where we meet Cal’s grandparents. The Turkish invasion of Greece sees these two young peasants flee their homeland in search of safety and a better life in the States. While on the surface this seems like a typical story of American immigration, Eugenides makes sure to take every turn possible to ensure things aren’t that tame. Lefty and Desdemona are in fact married and very much in love at the time of their nuptials, but they are more than just newlyweds — they are also brother and sister. This unusual coupling sets the tone for a book that seamlessly covers a whole range of touchy topics, from the Ford Motor Company’s
exploitation of foreign workers, to prohibition, to the rise of Malcolm X. The race riots of 1960s Detroit serve as an appropriate backdrop for Cal’s own identity crisis. Black and white neighbors not knowing what to make of each other leads to violence while Cal’s not knowing what to make of herself leads to an adolescence swathed in shame and confusion. Eugenides allows us into Cal’s mind from the very beginning, and because of this it’s easy to develop a sympathy for Cal. We learn that most people see Cal as a freak (including the world-renowned Dr. Luce who “discovers” and studies Cal for the sake of the medical community), but by understanding the innermost workings of the main character’s psyche we begin to see that Cal is just a normal human being like the rest of us, though perhaps a bit more extraordinary.
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and subway. Tons of light. 700 ¤. Rafa 616 560 299.
sunny room Room for rent (Urquinaona) Nice bright, fully furnished room, exterior in a comfortable flat, situated in the center. Only 2 minutes from the Metro L1 y L4. 280¤/month all bills included. firstname.lastname@example.org
Hostal Santa Anna
4_ hot chip — the warning 5_ black cab — altamont diary
The friendly family-owned Hostal Santa Anna is practically on Las Ramblas. The quiet, clean and well maintained hostel has 18 simple rooms with views of the street or interior. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
BOAT LIVING Can’t afford an apartment? Buy my boat and live on it in Torredembarra marina or move to Barcelona. Includes full domestic equipment. 49,000¤.contact: email@example.com
POPPY NEEDS A HOME Old bike with a lot of character seeks new owner, gets you from A to B if not with a few rattles and squeeks. 30¤ only. contact: firstname.lastname@example.org
FOR RENT quiet apartment Private Apartment — studio, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom — up to 3 persons. Raval — quiet, air conditioning. ZSR-BA@yahoo.de
APARTMENT TO RENT IN IBIZA. 5 km to the city, in the countryside, apartment capacity 4 people. Private garden and swmingpool. Car necesary. rainbowinspain.com or email@example.com
GAY AND GAYFRIENDLY ACCOMMODATION IN MAIN GAY DESTINATIONS IN SPAIN. Hotels and hostels in Barcelona, Madrid, Ibiza, Sitges, Gran Canaria, Tenerife. rainbowinspain.com or firstname.lastname@example.org.
BARCELONETA Very nice IKEA renovated 1 bedroom apartment next to the market
Hotel Travessera The Hotel Travessera 2 star hotel located right next to Gaudí’s lovely Parc Guell. Hotel Travessera has been recently refurbished and has 23 well-equipped rooms with en suite bathrooms, air conditioning, heating and TV. A good value, for reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Hostal Las Flores
Poble Nou Beach Rooms is a cosy place with lots of natural light in (where else) Poble Nou. A Barcelona classic, the apartment has original ceramic tiled floors. There are 3 bedrooms, each sleeping 2-3 perons. For short-term rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.
The Hostal Las Flores is a cosy family-run hostel located right on Las Ramblas. This quaint 1 star hostel is an economical choice, with 22 rooms on 4 floors. Almost all have access to a shared bathroom, except one double room which includes a private en suite bathroom and has a view of Las Ramblas. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Crayon Box Apartment 3.1
Apartamento de la Paz
The Crayon Box Apartment 3.1 is the beach lovers dream, a 40m2 recently renovated apartment right on the beach, sleeping up to 6 persons. For short-term rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.
The spacious 100m2 Apartamento La Paz has a 30m balcony stretching around the building and looks out over Las Ramblas and Port Vell. The apartamento can sleep up to 6 people, and is located on the first floor (no lift access) with lots of natural light. There are 3 double rooms, 1 with 2 single beds, 2 rooms with 1 double bed each. For holiday rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Poble Nou Beach Rooms
hostel offers common areas, such as a bar serving drinks and breakfasts with plasma television, and a lounge with sofas and a quieter atmosphere inviting to read and relax. In addition, here is an Internet service for the clients. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Hostal Els Angels Small, cosy, 1-star, 10-rooms hostel with a familiar atmosphere located in L’Eixample district, 10 minutes on foot from Rambla Catalunya. The rooms are basic, well-lit and sunny, with kitchen access; some have a balcony overlooking the street, and others overlook the large courtyard. 24 hr reception and laundry service for 5¤. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Hostal Fina A basic 2 star hostel located in the very heart of the historical centre of Barcelona, at Portaferrissa, the most commercial street in the city. The hostel offers basic, clean, well conditioned rooms, where you will be able to relax and rest, as most of them are interior and very quiet. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Hostal Plaza This picturesque, 2-star, 20-room hostel is located between Passeig de Gràcia, Pl. Urquinaona and Pl. Catalunya, in the 1st floor of a modernist building. In the 1st floor, the
Hostal Ballestero A modest, well-maintained, 2-stars hostel of 26 rooms located near Meridiana Avenue, on the corner of Fabra i Puig Avenue, close to the commercial centre of Heron City. The hostel is situated in a 5-floor building with lift. Not especially charming, but it does offer clean, well-maintained rooms. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
BARCO Paula I Have an original experience on the Paula I sailboat (not a houseboat), or as we like to call it the “floating apartment,” located in the Port Vell. The boat can sleep up to 6 people, with 3 cabins with double beds. Watch the curious smiles of your friends when you tell them you’ve stayed on a 40 foot sailboat (not for sailing). Not many people will be able to say they spent their Barcelona vacation on a luxury
boat! For short-term rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Crayon Box Apartment 2.1 The Crayon Box Apartment 2.1 is a 40m2 private apartment located on the beachfront of Barceloneta. This newly renovated apartment can sleep up to 4 people in 2 double rooms, one with a large double bed and another with bunk beds. A sofa bed sleeps one more, which is located in the living/dining room which also has a TV and balcony. The kitchen has all the amenities and there is also a full bathroom. The apartment is equipped with heating and air conditioning. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Hostal Boquería The Hostal Boqueria is a newly renovated hostel right on Las Ramblas, opposite the lively atmosphere of the Boquería. 15 neat and tidy rooms with TV, air conditioning, heating and private bathrooms, this is a fairly standard hostel: 2 single beds and a sink in the room. Good value accommodation right in the centre of Barcelona. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Hostal Lesseps A modest hostel placed in an old building with a beautiful entrance door, in the popular Gràcia district, an area full of live with a special charm, which still keeps its village atmosphere. It is located a 15 minutes walk to the famous Parc Güell and Passeig de Gràcia. The hostel offers simple, clean rooms; but do not expect a design decoration. However, all of them are equipped with a complete bathroom, and TV. There are double rooms with 1 double bed or 2 individual beds, and triple rooms, which are more spacious. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
trendy district of Born. It has two bedrooms, one with a single bed and the other with two singles. The living/dining room has a TV and 2 sofas, one a sofa bed which sleeps two. The kitchen is fully-equipped, as is the bathroom. A small balcony gives a good photo-op of the gargoyles from the building in front, not something you wake up to every day. AC. For holiday rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Levante Apartament M1 A recently renovated, 95m2 apartment with an excellent location, which can accommodate 4-8 persons. Located in the heart of the historic Barri Gòtic, it is a basic, cosy apartment, decorated with classical style wood furniture. It offers 3 bedrooms: one with 3 individual beds, one with a double bed, and the third with 2 individual beds. For short-term rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Travessera Apartments A private, welcoming apartment with daily cleaning service and towel/linen change located inside a 1-star hotel, next to Hospital Sant Pau. Sleeps up to 3 persons. For short-term rentals, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Hostal Rembrandt Hostal Rembrandt is a clean, wellrun 28 room hostel in an unbeatable location on Portaferrisa. Can you ask for a more central location? visit www.barcelona30.com for reservations.
Arc de Triomf Room Short-term rental in a double room for 1 or 2 persons with en suite private bathroom and TV in gorgeous shared apartment. apartment is right by Arc de Triomf metro station (line 1) and Renfe regional train station. Visit www.barcelona30.com.
BARCO Déjà vu Oceanis 36cc
The Déjà vu is a gorgeous 36 foot (11 metres) cruising yacht moored in the marina Port Vell. A Jeanneau Oceanis 36cc, it was built in 2003 and waves the French flag. Outfitted in cherry wood, the boat is equipped with modern comforts, such as satellite TV, kitchen, full bathroom, towels and bed linens, and even slippers in case your feet get cold. Sleeps up to 4. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
The 1 star Hotel Climent is located on the Gran Via in a 7 storey building with 5 rooms on each floor. The rooms are neat and clean, with minimal decor. They have an en suite bathroom, heating, TV and telephone. All rooms are exterior, with natural light, and are sufficiently soundproofed with windows with double paned glass to guarantee a good night’s sleep. The hotel is well-maintained and is wheelchair accessible. Breakfast included. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
Apartamento Picasso 32 Up to 5 of you can stay in the 50 m2 Picasso 32 Apartment smack in the middle of the historic and yet
P R O D U C TO S the coolest stuff from around the world! get your guiri fix at
Pension Cortes Pension Cortes is a basic, clean hostel located in beautiful old building on Gran Via. Rooms are clean and cosy with single beds. Although the rooms overlook the street, it is relatively insulated from street noise. Metro station Urgell. For reservations, visit www.barcelona30.com.
SERVICES LEARN ABOUT HOMEOPATHY Learn simple and effective ways to treat colds and flu, childhood ailments, accidents and injuries, strained muscles, jet lag and a wide range of everyday complaints. Friendly course in the heart of the city. Learn about the history and philosophy of homeopathy, how the remedies work and how to use them for yourself, your friends and family. Course runs once a week for 4 weeks. Course fee 80 euros. Next course starts 19th September at 7pm. Zoe 645257791. email@example.com. Homeopathic treatment also available.
Classes of Russian From an experienced teacher and translator from Moscow for highlymotivated english—speaking people. Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org
VAN AND DRIVER FOR REMOVALS AND CARGO TRANSPORTATION Inexpensive, safe and flexible. Any day, any time. Barcelona / Catalunya. 647533344 / 933291363 www.vanbcn.com
MASSAGE EXCHANGE Seeking to start a small group of people doing bodywork at any level and willing to exchange sessions for the joy of it. I do Hawaian Lomi Lomi, Ayurvedic Yoga, Reiki and Metamorphic massage. email@example.com
tarot reader TAROT, international clairvoyant... DAVID. clairvoyant, tarot cards, psychic, crystal ball, palm readings, david has the true gift of reading your future. David at 678378802
FOOTBALL LEAGUE New 11-a-side football team starting in the Barcelona International League. Interested in playing each Saturday? All nationalities welcome. Email firstname.lastname@example.org
I SAW YOU Did u see someone you like? Need to get a message across? Too shy to say it to their face? Then BCN WEEK’s ‘I SAW YOU’ is for you! Be sure to tell us who you are (man/woman) who/ what you saw (man/woman/badly parked car... etc) when? where? why? email or contact detail required.
SINK or swim We met at Manchester Bar. You came back to mine for ‘drinks’ afterwards. I just want you to know we broke the bathroom sink. The bastard cost me 300¤ to fix. Why did you take my number if you never intended to call it? email@example.com
KEEPING MY PANTS ON
Any type can be interesting. If it’s old and not damaged — perfect. If it’s a bit more modern, ok! But don’t want to pay more than 100¤. firstname.lastname@example.org
We met on the Metro at Jaume. I was new to Barcelona so you took me out clubbing at Vila Olimpica. I thought it was posible to meet a guy without them wanting to get into my pants. Thanks for the drinks, but I’m sick of guys like you. email@example.com
I would like to get a — colour or black and white — TV donated for my room for the coming Winter to keep updated with the domestic and world news. Has someone got a spare one? I feel like in a shell when I learn the daily news. I would be very thankful. firstname.lastname@example.org
I was making jewerly at Citadela Park. You came to talk to me, and I made you an anklet. You gave me your email, but I lost it. Can you email me? I’d still like to go out sometime. email@example.com
CRAZY ON A BIKE
American English teacher looking for private students starting in July. 12¤/hour. Adaptable, responsible, creative. Serious inquiries only. firstname.lastname@example.org
I was riding my bike through the Raval. I had so much on my mind, I almost ran straight into you. You basically dived out of the way. I just wanted to say sorry, I’m not usually that bad on a bike! email@example.com
Looking for, or to start a playgroup for children in Diagonal Mar/Villa Olimpica area. English, Russian, and Spanish speaking. Interested email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
We met at the Travel Bar. I can’t remember your name, but I do remember you were from Sweden. I’m in Barcelona for another two weeks. Do you want to catch up? email@example.com
Erica is wearing our new Micro-Mesh Bodysuit, now available online and at our stores. We promise to come to Barcelona soon and open a store there. In the meantime weâ€™re offering BCN Week readers free shipping when you shop online until September 30th. Just enter the following promo code when you get to checkout: BCN2006. To learn more about our company, to shop online, and to find all store locations, visit our web site.
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