rather than seven would make you a better person the next time around. You could ask to be born rich, famous, gorgeous. But there are only so many rich and famous people out there, and if you choose something like that you’ll have to wait. It’s worth it if you’re patient, but if you were murdered by a sociopath with a chainsaw you probably don’t want to feel that again. Maybe you took a shot in the guts from a high-caliber revolver. Lucky me. I can’t help but think that this is someone’s inside joke, a prank that got out of hand. Sometimes funny can be cruel. This airport—a modernist monstrosity of chrome beams, white tiles, and curved glass—has terminals that stretch beyond what I can see. I look a little further and I find that all the posted departures are delayed or canceled. The moment I approach the pretty stewardess taking boarding passes at the terminal, blizzard conditions settle in. The landing gear on the jet malfunctions. Someone tries to get through security with an assault rifle. Again. It’s funny the first few times. When I look at her from the corner of my eye the stewardess looks like Lexy. But if I look at her a little longer, she’s not. Her eyes are hazel, not golden brown. Her smile is too forced, her ears too big. She’s not short enough and she has too much of a tan. I want to get this over with. I’m not angry, just tired and frustrated. When I head over to the McDonald’s here, I
pull out my wallet and find that I have an unlimited MetroCard and almost enough for a quarter pounder with cheese.’ It’s almost funny. Number 5354, moving you to your deadplay in ten seconds. Goddamnit, give me a fucking minute. I just need one fucking min— ◆ I tell the ticket agent that I want to be a guy who doesn’t buy unlimited bus passes. What a waste of a hundred and four dollars. He gives me this brochure and a newspaper. He says, “Enjoy your next life, sir.” It reads Ciudad Juárez, Mexico on my boarding pass. Mexico. Could be worse. Could be better. The food is good and there’s sun. At least I’m not getting shot again. That’s when I take a look at the newspaper: … Thousands of Mexican soldiers pour into the country’s most violent city in crackdown on drug gangs… … Homicides reach new levels in Juárez City… … Ciudad Juárez named in “Murder Capitals of the World”… Son of a bitch. The guy upstairs has a sick sense of humor.
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