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Issue No. 5 Fri.3rd September, 2010 Tel: 0504-51945 email: info@offalytatler.ie web: www.offalytatler.ie

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Jokes A lady goes into the butcher shop and as she is walking around the store, she spies a beef tongue in the butcher's counter. The lady asks, "What in the world is that?" "Beef tongue," replies the butcher! The lady gives a little involuntary shudder, "No way would I put anything in my mouth that came out of an animal's mouth!" The butcher nods sympathetically while peeking into the woman's shopping cart, "I see you're buying a dozen eggs!" Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had

to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there


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on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

A patient complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis." The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy, then you'll see that I was right."

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will

bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat!"

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Specialists in the upgrading of single pane glass to energy efficient double glazed units. • This procedure is as effective as replacing frames with new upvc .The glass units used are the same as in new upvc frames • Reglazing existing frames is very successful. • Frames are rebated to fit in the new unit typically a 20mm unit as standard.The unit is then sealed and secured using appropriate slips(teak Frames) or beading(aluminium frames) Also if required frames can be sanded and openings draft proofed. This increases energy efficiency in the home along with drowning out noise from outside. • If your windows are drafty, we provide a draft proofing service. • Energy efficient glass-it has been stated that high performance insulation glass is up to 136% better than standard double glazing. Advantaged of energy efficient glass: Helps to achieve high window energy ratings when combined in suitable framing. • Helps cut energy cost/fuel bills • Makes your home more comfortable • Eliminates uncomfortable cold spots close to windows.

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Clara U14 hurling Captain Nial Keenan being presented with final gear by Bord na nog Chairman Derek Handy and Club sponsor Aaron Baggot


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Killeigh Athletes Fly the Flag for Offaly Killeigh (including Ballinagar, Cloneygowan, Geashill, Killeigh and Killurin) have had a very successful first year back in the community games. The area reformed in ealy June this year and to have children from the area representing their county in 10 events at the National finals in Athlone is a great achievement. The standard at the nationals finals was very high which is a benchmark for the children to aspire to in the coming years. The experience the children gained will benefit them well into the future. They were very proud to wear the county colours and every child exceeded their personal best while competing with the top athletes from around the country. We are very proud of the achievements of all the children and wish to congratulate them on reaching such high standards. To represent your county is a great honour.

A very special congratulations to Luke Price who took home the bronze medal in the boys under 14 gymnastics. He has done family, friends, school and the wider community very proud. His family's and his commitment to his sport will encourage other children to work hard and to pursue their passion. The area will now be able to build for the future and look forward to working with all the children in the near future. We initially had 19 children involved in the swimming , 73 in the athletics and 2 in the gymnastics. We hope that more children will be involved next time so they can be fit, have fun and make new friends. We also hope to extend our participation into other disciplines in the future. For more info visit www.offalysports.ie

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Tullamore Rower Wins Bronze In Hungary Tullamore Rower, Dave Neale was in the Irish rowing squad that captured a bronze medal at the World University Rowing Championships in Hungary recently. Tullamore rower Dave Neale, was part of the Irish men's 8+ that collect a bronze medal at the World University Rowing Championships in Szeged, Hungary last month.

The crew had a slow start to the weekend only finishing 3rd in their heat behind Great Britain and France. Saturday saw the team regroup by comfortably wining the repechage ahead of Switzerland, Dave, a UCD Student adds this in- Italy, Hungary and China. Before ternational medal to his impressive Sundays A final the Irish boat was win at Henley Royal regatta in Ju- ranked 5th but the new and inexpely. rienced crew came home with the bronze medal behind Estonia in It was the first time in 30 years that 2nd and Great Britain in 1st but an Irish eight has taken a medal at ahead of France, Poland and Swita world final. The event which zerland. This Irish representation brings together the world's best stu- was coached by Queens Belfast dent athletes is a key event in the head coach Mark Fangen-Hall and world rowing calendar and acts as it brings to a close a season that a building block to entering on to has seen the sport of rowing the senior world championship and strengthen in booth Dublin and Olympic level, with the Irish BeiBelfast. jing heavyweight 4- wining the same student event in 2006. The 8 man crew and cox was made up of For more info. Visit 7 Queens Belfast student's and 2 www.offalysports.ie from University College Dublin.

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Curraghmore Carpentry Full Construction Services For: New Homes, Extensions Attic Conversions 1st & 2nd Fix Carpentry Fitted Kitchens Wardrobes, Timber Floors Tiling, Brick Paving Also: Timber Entrance Gates Decking, Patios

Call Ken on 086 8585770 Curraghmore, Borrisokane, Co. Tipperary email: curraghmorecarpentry@yahoo.ie

Natural Beauty of Stone For several years now, stone has made a remarkable come back as people once again realise the value and natural beauty of stonework. So many of the beautiful old houses had their magnificent stone facades plastered over, so it is a pleasure to see so many new houses being built with wonderful stonework included. Stone masonry requires a great deal of patience and skill to enhance the natural beauty of the stone. One such person is chisel sing and produce wonderful Bernard Lynam who can make his stone works of art that would enhance any garden and home. He builds stone walls, lays patios, builds fireplaces and creates shrub containers and water features. He can be contacted on 057 9341467 or 087 9223647. To increase the value of your home in this time of serious recession, give Bernard a call. You certainly wont be sorry.

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Start and Grow Enterprise Expo Are you planning to Start a new Business? Are you looking for new ideas for a new venture? Is your Business seeking advice, support or new opportunities? If so visit www.startandgrow.ie for information about the Start and Grow Enterprise Expo, Friday, 8th October 2010, Portlaoise Heritage Hotel, 10.30am to 7.30pm The Start and Grow Enterprise Expo will have 3 main components: - Enterprise Exhibition 30+ exhibitors from the enterprise promotion & development area. These include: · Enterprise Ireland * Laois County Enterprise Board · Laois Partnership * Laois County Council · IT Carlow * Patents Office · AIB * OCDE · ISME * Bank of Ireland and more..... The Enterprise Exhibition will also incorporate an Ideas Zone. - Seminars During the day there will 3 three themed seminars:

START Seminar - Terry Clune/Taxback.com – E&Y Entrepreneur of the Year 2009/10 - John Teeling/Cooley Distillery & Serial Entrepreneur - Brian O’Kane/ Startingabusinessinireland.com GROW Seminar - Gabriel D’Arcy/Bord Na Mona - Richard Keegan / Enterprise Ireland – Lean Business - Gerard Cleary/ Glenisk Market Opportunities Seminar - Aileen O’Toole / AMAS - James Burke / James Burke & Associates - Orlagh Murphy / Enterprise Ireland – Public Procurement

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There is no cost to participate but registration is essential. To register for the event, request a mentor or learn more visit www.startandgrow.ie.

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The competition, aimed at companies who have a new equity funding requirement, has a cash prize fund of €280,000 and also offers budding entrepreneurs the opportunity to develop their business idea, make their concept investor ready, gain exposure to venture capitalists and other investors and increase the profile of their business.

You must register for the competition before submitting your business plan. When you register, you will receive an e-mail from InterTradeIreland with a dedicated upload reference which you must click on to upload your business plan to them by the closing date.

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Business Training Courses Offaly County Enterprise Board (OCEB) offers a variety of training courses for anyone considering starting or growing their business in County Offaly.

Their Autumn Training Courses Brochure can be downloaded from the website www.offalyceb.ie. All their courses are free of charge to Social Welfare payment recipients. PPS Number required

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Quick Quiz 1 What was first used in horse racing in 1949? 2 Who are Marge Simpson's twin sisters? 3 Where would you find tines? 4 Which Jeffery Archer book title features biblical brothers? 5 To what is oxygen joined in the compound water? 6 Why is chlorine added to water? 7 Which units are used to measure power? 8 Which major conflict ran from 1914 to 1918? 9 Which green substance absorbs the light plants need? 10 What is the North American equivalent of a gaucho?

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- A closed mouth gathers no feet. - Did you ever notice that Evian bottled water is Naïve spelled backwards? - The grass may actually be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still has to be mowed!

Offaly County Council is Find us on www.facebook.com/OffalyTatler seeking Expressions of Interest be refunded on receipt of a bona fide Offaly County Council is seeking TERRY NAYLOR Expressions of Interest from suitably submission not subsequently withdrawn. qualified and experienced ContracCONCRETE PRODUCTS tors for the phase 2 upgrading of the • Fast efficient way to pour your concrete finished floors • Ideal for underfloor heating • Up to 300sqm poured in a day

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Wastewater Treatment Works in Clara, County Offaly from an existing population equivalent of 4500 to cater for a population equivalent of 9000. The works comprise of the construction of storm tank, aeration tank, clarifer, tertiary filter and all associated Civil and M&E works on the site of the existing WWTW. Contractors will be selected for the inclusion on the tender list on the basis of their responses to a Tenderer Prequalification document. The Tenderer Prequalification document can be downloaded from the eTenders website www.etenders.gov.ie. The document is also available from WYG Ireland Ltd., Grove Island, Corbally, Limerick (061 461700) on the payment of one hundred euro (€100) which will

One hard copy and one CD of the Expression of Interest must be submitted in a sealed envelope clearly marked ‘Clara Wastewater Treatment Works Phase 2 Upgrade Contract Expression of Interest for Appointment of Contractor’ and addressed to: Mr. Seán Murray, Director of Services, Offaly County Council, Áras an Chontae, Charleville Road, Tullamore, Co. Offaly to arrive no later than 12.00pm on Friday 10th September 2010. It is proposed to shortlist Contractors who will be invited to tender for the work. A Contract Notice containing more information has been placed on the etenders website.

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Club PROs Add us to your mailing list! Promote Your Activities Events, Fundraising etc. Throughout Co. Offaly Free of Charge! Send Your Club Notes & Photos to info@offalytatler.ie We will also put on our Website www.offalytatler.ie

Association of Landscape Contractors of Ireland

Kenneth Wall Dip Hort. Phone: 087 9794863 Fax: 087 59794863 Full Insurance C2 Reg Reg. Vat. No. IE7143822F.

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Mr. Dan Rooney, United States of America Ambassador to Ireland, visited Áras an Chontae recently

Review of the Waste Management Plan for the Midland Region The County Councils of Offaly, Laois, Longford, North Tipperary and Westmeath give notice of their intention to commence the preparation of a review of the Waste Management Plan for the Midland Region under Section 22 of the Waste Management Acts 1996 to 2010. Written representations in relation to the proposed review shall be made to any of the five County Councils at the addresses given hereunder before 4.00 p.m. on the 5th October, 2010, and these will be taken into consideration as part of the review. A copy of the current Waste Management Plan for the Midland Region may be purchased or inspected between 9.00 a.m. and 4.00 p.m. during normal working days at the Local Authority offices or on the web sites -

057 91 39123


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Offaly County Council, Aras an Chontae, Tullamore, Co. Offaly www.offaly.ie Longford County Council, Aras an Chontae, Longford, Co. Longford www.longfordcoco.ie Laois County Council, Aras an Chontae, Portlaoise, Co. Laois www.laois.ie Westmeath County Council, Aras an Chontae, Mullingar, Co. Westmeath www.westmeathcoco.ie Tipperary North County Council, Aras an Chontae, Nenagh, Co. Tipperarywww.tipperarynorth.ie

Envelopes containing representations should be clearly marked “Review of Midlands Regional Waste Management Plan”.

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Launch of Ballycommon Canal Renewal Group The annual gathering at Ballycommon, on the Grand Canal near Tullamore, to mark the dry Kilbeggan line of the Grand Canal that runs from Ballycommon to Kilgeggan, was a very special event this year.

Various groups gathered on Saturday 28th August, to mark two special events – the 21st Birthday of the Kilbeggan Canal Harbour Amenity Group, and the launch of the Ballycommon Canal Renewal Group. The Kilbeggan group have done enormous work over the last two decades, to rebuild and refurbish the Canal Stores buildings in Kilbeggan Harbour, and have also done significant work along the dry canal line south towards Ballycommon. Over the last decade the Offaly Branch of the Inland Waterways Association of Ireland (IWAI) has been involved in organising an annual event at Ballycommon, known as the ‘Kilbeggan Challenge’ with the presence of the national organisation of the Heritage Boat Association (formed in 2001), in order to highlight the potential re-watering of the Kilbeggan line of the Canal, and all the associated water based tourism benefits that might bring. Heritage Week 2010 sees the formation of a local group in Ballycommon, led by Chairman Gerry Feery, to further add involvement, energy and interest in the development of the Grand Canal at Ballycommon. In his speech, Gerry outlined that they aim to work strongly as local group and liase with the various agencies interested in the utilisation of the Grand Canal in the area.

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the Ballycommon-Kilbeggan branch line. IWAI and HBA members also attended by boat and many people came by road. Various speakers, including Bernadette Quinn, Chair of the Offaly Branch of the IWAI; Joe Treacy, from the Heritage Boat Association; Dan Scally, Chair of the Kilbeggan Harbour Amenity Group; and Tim Meehan, Chair of the 107B Barge; gave a very warm welcome from the various waterways users to the new Ballycommon Canal Renewal Group. In addition, Offaly IWAI perpetual awards presented included the Heather and Mike Thomas trophy for Canal Development – recipients were the Kilbeggan Canal Harbour Amenity Group for the 21 years of work; the best-dressed boat award was presented to Canal Boat 107B; and the Annual Canal Shield was awarded to the Paddy McGrath Canal Swim group, who made their way by water from Shannon Harbour to Robertstown during late July.

Gerry Feery, from the Ballycommon Canal Renewal Group praised the local committee highly, and commended the large turnout from the Ballycommon and surrounding areas to support the event, as well as the involvement of Cllr. Liam Quinn who has close family ties to the Ballycommon-Kilbeggan line of the Grand Canal. The launch of this group is particularly noteworThe Ballycommon group organised thy, and the effort involved by all is to be commended. There are too a fabulous fund-raising BBQ for the summer evening, at Campbells many names to mention individualBridge (the first canal bridge north ly, many people played a part in the event, so a much appreciated to Kilbeggan from Ballycommon) along with a 21st birthday cake for thanks to all involved was a strong the Kilbeggan gang. The activities theme from the Ballycommon Canal Renewal Group. As the saying were aided by the presence of the goes, watch this space. Further incommunity canal barge 107B that was used to display a large range of formation from the Ballycommon presentation material relating to the Canal Renewal Group will be made available in the near future. Grand Canal, and in particular to

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Quarter Final Draw for Senior Football Championship The quarter-final pairings for the Tullamore Court Hotel Offaly Senior Football Championship have been decided following the fifth round of group games on Saturday and Sunday evening (28th and 29th August).

They are: Clara v Tubber; Rhode v Ferbane; Tullamore v Walsh Island; Ballycumber v Shamrocks.

It was pre-determined that with four teams emerging from each group, the winners of one group would play the fourth placed in the other, with the second and third from the opposite groups meeting also.

On Saturday evening, the three group games were played in Group 1, champions Clara maintained their 100% record with a 1-14 to 0-6 defeat of St Brigid’s, who ended bottom.

Meanwhile, Shamrocks recorded their third win on the trot with a 1-14 to 0-15 victory over Tullamore to finish second in the group, with ‘The Blues’ ending third. And the fourth quarter-final place was secured by Ferbane, who defeated Gracefield by 3-7 to 1-10.

On Sunday evening (29th), the group 2 games were held. Rhode also kept up their unbeaten record this season with a 0-15 to 1-5 victory over Walsh Island.

knocked-out of the championship. (Erin Rovers finished level on points with Tubber, but lost out because Tubber beat them earlier in the season.)

Meanwhile, the first adult final of 2010 was held on Saturday evening. Tubber beat Kilclonfert

2-9 to 2-6 to win the Tullamore Court Hotel Junior ‘C’ Football Championship title. And the draws for the semi-finals of the Tullamore Court Hotel Junior ‘A’ Football Championship were held on Sunday evening. They are Shamrocks v Tullamore and Clonmore Harps v Daingean.

Brian McDonnell & Sons n

Meanwhile, Ballycumber finished up third in the group with a 1-12 to 0-12 defeat of their neighbours Tubber.

Erin Rovers hit a half dozen goals to beat Edenderry, 6-4 to 0-11, but the end result was that both Erin Rovers and Edenderry were

Recovery Services Phone: 057 9343214

Increase Sales, call the Offaly Tatler 0504-51945

Clara U-14 County Champions 2010

Clara GAA Notes Weekly Club Lotto Weekly Lotto 28/08/10-There was no winner of the weekly club Lotto jackpot. The winning numbers were 2-3-15-23. There were ten match three winners and they were Maria c/o Peter Dunican, The Fleming Boys, Chris Kennedy and they each receive €50. Next weeks lotto takes place in Dolan’s and the Jackpot is €4250. Thanks to all who support our lotto and thanks to all our ticket sellers. Bord Na Nog Table Quiz Bord Na Nog Table Quiz- Get your team together for the Bord Na Nog table quiz which takes place in The Mill this Friday the 3rd of September. A table of five is €25. If you haven’t being to one of these quiz’s before come on down, you’ll enjoy the night. Senior Football Championship Clara completed the group stage of the 2010 championship last weekend the 28th of August with a win against St Brigid’s in Geashill. This left Clara topping the group on full points. On a windy day it took five mins for Ross Brady to get the first point. John Reynolds then scored a goal from the penalty spot before Brigid’s got two points without reply to leave Clara 1-1 to 0-2 ahead half way through the half. J Reynolds got his first point before Brigid’s got another two points without reply. P Deehan got Clara's next score to put them 1-3 to 0-4 in front before Brigid’s got the last score of the half to leave the half time score 1-3 to 0-5. Clara completely controlled the second half from an early point. 4 points by John O'Hara together with a point points by R Brady and J Reynolds put Clara 1-11 to 0-5 ahead before Brigid’s got what would be their only point of the half. Joey Deehan got Clara's last 3 points of the match after coming on as a sub, 1 from a free and another from a 45. This left Clara running out convincing winners on a scoreline of 1-14 to 0-6. This win also allows Clara to get through the group stages with a 100% record from the five games played. Clara team; Kevin Meehan, David Ledwith, John Ledwith, Darren Kelly, Marius Stones, Alan Cronin, Lorcan Hiney, Scott Brady, Ross Brady (0-2), Colm Kelly, John O'Hara (0-4), Graham Guilfoyle, Paul Deehan(0-1), John Reynolds (1-3. 1-0Penalty), Thomas Deehan (0-1). Substitutes; Joey Deehan for P Deehan (0-3, 0-2 frees), Joe Quinn for R Brady, Peter Flanagan for G Guilfoyle, Kieran O'Meara for T Deehan. Minor Football Championship. Clara minor footballers played Ferbane in Clara last Wed 25th of August. Clara had a slow start going 0-4 to no score down before Barry Cushen got a goal to leave

By Peter Sheridan, Clara GAA PRO. Clara trailing by a point after 10mins. Ferbane then got a few scores without reply and ten mins from half time they had increased their lead to 0-9 to 1-1 with the Clara point coming from Sam Rickard. B Cushen then pointed a free before Ferbane got a goal. Another B Cushen free left the half time score 1-9 to 1-3. Clara cut the deficit to 4 points after ten mins of the second half with a Stephen O'Brien point and another couple by B Cushen. Joe O'Meara then got a goal which together with a couple of Ferbane points left 3 points in it with ten mins left. Points by Lee and Adam Scanlon then left 1 point in it with five mins to go. With time running out B Cushen pointed a free to equalise the game. This would be the last score of the game to leave the end score 2-10 to 113. Clara team; Matt Carraghar, Shane Mullen, Liam Monaghan, Bobby Mitchell, Aaron Ngo, John Flattery (c), Kevin Murray, Stephen O'Brien (0-1), Martin Hackett, Joe O'Meara (1-0), Luke Kelly, Adam Scanlon (0-1, Free), Sam Rickard (0-1), Barry Cushen (1-6, 0-3 Frees), Lee Scanlon (0-1). Substitute: Eoin Wyer for Shane Mullen. Sponsor a Sod

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“Sponsor a Sod”- Clara GAA club would like to invite all current and past members (and anyone with any connection to the club, no matter how tenuous!) to be part of the launch of the new official Clara GAA Club website and the 'Sponsor a Sod' campaign. As part of our fund raising campaign to complete the new Championship pitch in Kilcoursey members and friends of the club are invited to sponsor a sod on the new pitch. Sponsors will receive a piece of the virtual pitch on a special page on our new website with each “sod” being added piece by piece to the page. Each “sod” can be purchased for €20 from any committee member .Log onto anclarach.com to see how our pitch is doing. Club Notes By Email Club Notes By Email-Anyone who wishes to recieve the club notes by email please send your email address to anclarach@live.ie , you will be added to our email list and you should recieve them every Monday night.

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This size ad + photo €20 Phone 0504-51945 Email: info@offalytatler.ie

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tact Eamonn Walsh now 086-0471147 iss145

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One ladies 3 piece Olive Green suit, size 12, design Gold by Michael H., worn once. Original price €480, asking €250, feathers included. Also 3 piece ladies suit, size 14, bronze and champagne. Design name John Charles. Bought in Olivia Dnaielle’s and worn once. Original price €590, asking €300. Receipt can be seen. 085-8221054 / 05793 55826 iss6

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ship difficulties and couples counselling.


(For up to 25 words. Over 25 words add .25c per word Highlight your classified ad with a colour background €10 Place a box around your ad and include photo €20 Payments by Credit Card or Laser - Minimum of €10

You can pay for all ads by Credit Card or Laser

Sell Your Stuff!

per issue (line adverts)

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Increase Sales, call the Offaly Tatler 0504-51945

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. ~Author Unknown

Cryptic Crossword

ACROSS 1. Pounce, pray try it. (anag.) Largest inland of the thirty two, with the Golden Vale through its middle. (6,9) 8. Kitchen sideboard will clothe you. (7) 10. Bring car around, Al, to go to Offaly town, near Boher, where the Shrine of St. Manchan is preserved. (5) 12. Public relations officer is not amateur, in short. (3) 13. "You have --- too long here. Depart and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!" Cromwell. (3) 14. Pitch article on Meath's royal hill. (4) 15. 'Tis P.C. to shake up the ancient north Britons. (5) 16. "No glass of ours was ever raised to toast the -----" -Seamus Heaney. (5) 18. "Great steamers white and gold, Go rolling down to ---." Rudyard Kipling. (3) 19. Northern Irish part-time military that was referred in bureau draft. (1.1.1.) 21. Flag, I'm alone. (anag.) Natural amphitheatre 5 miles by 3 miles in County Wicklow, where the Slaney winds through. (4,2,5) 22. This time coming back through Lixnaw on Friday. (3) 23. Fling high by leaving lobby. (3) 24. "Praise to the Holiest in the height, and in the ----- be praise." Cardinal Newman. (5) 26. Scandinavian root? (5) 28. Ancient Irish ring fort seen in Beltra Thursday. (4) 29. Load of money to stuff with? (3) 31. Deer eggs? (3) 32. Wear in hero design. (5) 34. Under mud out east and stirred for pretty Tipperary village near Killenure Castle. (7) 35. Baby teeth eat her. (anag.) Dublin playhouse opened in 1904 made famous by the dramas of Synge, O'Casey, and Yeats. (3,5,7) DOWN 1. No cap quip. (anag.) Quiet Waterford village near Mount Melleray Abbey under the Knockmealdowns. (9) 2. "A crowd flowed over London Bridge, so many, I had not thought death had ----- so many." T.S. Eliot (6) 3. Return to make contact with swarm. (4) 4. Ring patrol not confused with busy Laois town with the first turf-fired power station in Ireland. (13) 5. And so on in Clontibret castle. (3) 6. A Saul can wander through Kerry village on coast road from Inch, where Thomas Crean, of South Pole fame, lived . ( 8) 7. Stay around the east to find this Irish poet with strong Sligo connections. (5)

9. No sharing beds. (anag.) Single street Offaly village north of Banagher. (13) 11. "Not die here in a rage like a poisoned --- in a hole." Swift. (3) 15. Do plan up to find where the zloty circulates. (6) 17. Require the French to irritate. (6) 20. Kale heart dismantled in Limerick market town on the River Deel, famous for brown trout. (9) 21. Wore edge of Donegal resort near Dunlewy. (8) 25. Licence for pet seen around broken rim. (6) 26. "Though honey is ----- do not lick it off a briar." Irish Proverb. (5)

27. "Your friend the British soldier can stand up to anything, except the British --- Office." G.B. Shaw (3) 30. "Englishmen never will be slaves; they are ---- to do whatever the Government and public opinion allows them to." G.B. Shaw (4) 33. Be return, second class to go back out, in the main. (3)

Grow Your Business!

Sudoku for Kids! Every row, column and minigrid must contain the numbers 1 through 4. Don’t guess use logic!

2 4

1 4 1


2 3


Call the Offaly Tatler today & Promote Your Business throughout Co Offaly. Phone 087-6258475 / 0504-51945 “Trying to do Business without Advertising is like winking at A girl in the dark. You know you’re doing it, but no one else does” Phone today to Book your ad, Tel: Fiona 087-6258475 Office 0504-51945 E: info@offalytatler.ie

Solution to crossword in last issue (No. 4)

Increase Sales, call the Offaly Tatler 0504-51945


Testimonials Our sister publication the Tipp Tatler has been providing excellent results for our advertisers for over 8 years. Here’s what some have to say “We are very happy with the service provided by the Tipp Tatler, it gets us lots of local jobs”. Jason, Drain It Ltd. “We find the Tipp Tatler to be a great advertising medium. Its distribution means our business is promoted over a large area to a wide range of people ensuring our business remains successful”. Tom Gleeson – Arra Communications, Nenagh

Prayers The Miraculous Prayer – Dear Heart of Jesus, in the past I’ve asked for many favours. This time I ask You this very special one (mention favour). Take it Dear Heart of Jesus and place it within Your own broken heart where Your Father sees it. Then in His merciful eyes it will become Your favour, not mine. Amen. Say this prayer for 3 days, promise publication and favour will be granted. Never known to fail. T.S.

A Prayer to The Virgin Mary (Never known to fail) - O most beautiful Flower of Mount Carmel, fruitful vine, spleandour of heaven, Blessed Mother of the son of God, Immaculate Virgin assist me in this my necessity. O Star of the Sea help me and show me herin you are my Mother. O Holy Mary Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and Earth, I humbly beseech you from the bottom of my heart to succour me in this my necessity (make request). There are none that withstand your power. O show me my Mother. O show me herin you are my mother. O Mary conceived with-

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out sin pray for us who have recourse to thee (3 times). Say this prayer for 3 consecutive days and then publish and it will be granted. T.S. The Miraculous Prayer – Dear Heart of Jesus, in the past I’ve asked for many favours. This time I ask You this very special one (mention favour). Take it Dear Heart of Jesus and place it within Your own broken heart where Your Father sees it. Then in His merciful eyes it will become Your favour, not mine. Amen. Say this prayer for 3 days, promise publication and favour will be granted. Never known to fail. D.O.D.

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Bereavement and grieving

By Jim O’Shea

(continued from previous issue) I have already explored the first of these two tasks (to accept the reality of the loss and to work through the grief of pain). In this iss I will look at the other two - to adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing, and to emotionally relocate the deceased and move on with life. Using the word ‘task’, as I have written in the last article, seems a bit harsh, but it does empower the bereaved person. It shows that he or she can do something to promote healing. Adjusting to life without the deceased means different things to different people. For example, the quality of adjustment made by widows depends upon many factors, such as the quality of her relationship with the deceased husband, the quality of their sexual relationship, if there are any children to be raised, and her previous role in the management of domestic finances. Bereaved parents have to cope with their own pain, but also possibly with that of their other children. I was very worried about how my children were coping, and I found their pain hard to bear. I felt powerless to help them. Other adjustments involve a new definition of oneself, even the development of self-esteem. The central question is ‘who am I now?’. There is also the question of spiritual adjustment, of finding meaning in the loss, regaining control and seeing the world as a benevolent place. The fourth task is to emotionally relocate the deceased and move on with life. This can be most difficult. It is the same as acceptance in the socalled wheel of grief. If the survivor is unable to complete this task, it means being emotionally stuck, and holding on to a past attachment to the extent of being unable to form other attachments. Doing this task means being able to preserve a realistic memory of the dead in a way that enables the survivor to live in a healthy and fulfilling manner. There was a time when survivors were advised to sever the bond and move on. But this interpretation has rightly been questioned in recent years. It is now accepted that the healthy resolution of grief involves a continuing bond with the deceased. When the theory of severing the bond was held by psychologists, the counselling offered was nothing short of brutal and abusive.

Some bereavement psychologists explore different ways of keeping in touch with the dead, and at the same time moving on. These include sensing the prescence of the dead, having a spiritual relationship with them, talking to them and using symbolic places and things associated with them. Although I did not know him, I pray to my paternal grandfather every day and sense that he is somehow looking after me. It is a very comforting thought. I also feel strongly emotionally attached to my child. Serenity has returned to my life, but there are times such as anniversaries, and at Christmas, when I experience deep grief pain. And so it will continue to be. And that is ok. It is part of normal grief. I once read a book by Judy Tatelbaum called ‘The Courage to Grieve’, which I found very helpful. It taught me what saying goodbye really meant. For long I was afraid to say goodbye to my child. Somehow I equated this to forgetting him. As Tatelbaum says, saying goodbye simply means emotionally accepting my child’s death, and moving on. It means finding a place for the dead in our emotional life. This takes time. Indeed the maxim that people use, that time heals, is true. But we must allow it to heal, and in a later article I will look at what happens when we do not allow it to heal. (continued in next issue) Jim O’Shea works as a counsellor from Furze, Thurles. Ph. 087 8211009 www.jimoshea.net . JimO’Shea’s book ‘When a child dies. Footsteps of a Grieving Family’ is published by Veritas. The royalties from this book will go tosthe Children’s Hospital in Crumlin.

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Offaly Tatler Issue 5 Sept 2010  

The Offaly Tatler is a free fortnightly magazine distributed throughout Co Offaly.

Offaly Tatler Issue 5 Sept 2010  

The Offaly Tatler is a free fortnightly magazine distributed throughout Co Offaly.


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