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7985 santa monica blvd. #447 West hollywood, ca 90046 tel 323.874.8788 • fax 323.874.8782

myspace.com/odysseymagazine ads@odysseymagazine.net

www.odysseymagazine.net www.marytv.net Volume #12 - Issue #26 APRIL 24, 2009 - MAY 7, 2009

contents...

THE COLUMN. THE F (is for Faggot) LIST. SNEETCHY JARED STARS ONLY! WHO? THE LEATHER. THE MUSIC. THE WIGS. INTERSCOPES. THE PORN. T H E F A M I L Y... Publisher • Mike Everaert Creative Director • Brian J. McCarthy Editor in Chief • Keoki Tavares Design Director • Jay Cribas The Wigs • Livonia The Porn • Jason Sechrest The Music • Will Ihavetochangemyname Top 10 Q&A • Joshua Miller National Advertising Rep.

Rivendell Media 212.242.6863 ON THE COVER:

Andrew Blue of

ColtStudio.com Odyssey Magazine is published bi-weekly in Los Angeles and monthly in Hawaii. All material herein is copyrighted 2009, Odyssey Magazine. Reprint by permission only. For more information regarding advertising, please call: 323.874.8788 or fax 323.874.8782 or ads@odysseymagazine.net No implication regarding sexual orientation or personal practices of contributors or advertisers appearing in this publication is intended and none should be inferred by the reader.

A

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M.E. PUBLICATION.

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THE “F” LIST “F” IS FOR FAGGOT, PROUD...FAGGOTS...MARY!

1. Prez Barack Obama 2. H.S.H. Cher 3. H.S.H. Elton John 4. H.S.H.Clay Aiken 5. Don Sam Nazarian 6. Don David Cooley 7. Don Pat Rogers 8. Don JeffreySanker 9. DJ Sandy Sachs 10. Don GeneLePietra 11. Lindsay Lohan 12. Ellen Degeneres 13. David Geffen 14. Bryan Lourd 15. Jann Wenner 16. Bryan Singer 17. Brian Graden 18. Don Paul Nicholls 19. Don Jim Murphy 20. Don Chris Ciccone 21. DonOrlandorPuerta 22. DVDJ Ray Rhodes 23. Don Jason Lavitt 24. Bruce Villanch 25. DonBrettHenrichson 26. Michael Berman 27. Mike Nava & David 28. Don Tom Whitman 29. Richard Grossi 30. Tim Meepegama 31. Maz Y. 32. Michael Brown 33. Don Anthony Lopez 34. Jay Krimis 35. Andrew Briskin 36. Wayne Castro 37. Rusty Updegraff 38. Will Gorges 39. Wayne Elias 40. Chris Diamond 41. Rohan Bisset 42. Trenchcoat Mafia 43.HSHRosie ODonnell 44.HSHAlexisArquette 45.HSHCandy Ass 46.HSHJackie Beat 47.HSHChi Chi LaRue 48.HSHCandice Cayne 49.HSHChad Michaels 50.HSHJer Ber Jones

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51.GREENREVOLUTION 52. DustinLanceBlack 53. ShamWoW! of Iraq 54. Detox Icunt 55. Kathy Griffin 56. Mario Diaz 57. Rosanne Barr 58. Lance Bass 59. Victor Rodriquez 60. Lynn & Alex 61. “The Real“ Zam 62. Jonathan Chang 63. Tattoo Chris 64. RyanAllenCarrillo 65. Wanda Sykes! 66. Chad Allen 67. Andrew Gruver 68. Margaret Cho 69. Andrew Christian 70. Jude Tade 71. Caesar Torres 72. Ron Madril 73. Steve Machuca 74. John Waters 75. Michael Stipe 76. Sir Ian McKellan 77. Perez Hilton 78. Rachel Maddow 79. Andy Bell 80. Sandra Bernhard 81. George Takei 82. Michael Moloney 83. Luis & Jim Turner 84. Dan Jinx 85. Chastity Bono 86. Wilson Cruz 87. Jake Shears 88. Christian Siriano 89. Greg Louganis 90. Freddy Rojas 91. Marc Almond 92. Todd Oldham 93. Rob Halford 94. Mark Gallemore 95. Oscar De La Hoya 96. Neil Patrick Harris 97. Oprah&Gayhell 98. Brad & TrAnjolie 99. Janet & Jermaine 100. Mrs&MrsTomCruise

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homo hell hath no Faggot fury, when one Queen judge Judy’s another Queen on a national televised big miss Usa pageant. and with the reigning behemoth blog h hog h.s.h. Perez Hilton spewing the most vile question...“vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same DIAne seYMoRe sex marriage. do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?” not?”Miss california’s repugnant party/crass christian “up bringing” more like “brain washingmind controlled orange county ass wiping” landed her bleach blonde, blue eyed twat in the Gay Mafia Gutter!!!!!!!! I love that Miss california isn’t even referred to by her name. She has stuck her dainty (wrong)right wing, pedicured hoof right in her full blown, siliconed lip jobbed, cake hole. miss c., ya might not want to “listen to yer nazi mom and dad” when competing on some ball gown t.v. program ran by a slew of Faireys with a pack of mincing Hair & Make-Up Homos. chances are if some faggoty question is tossed yer way, on the planets m o s t faggy Pageant program, you might want to faggot it up a notch!!! Miss USa isn’t a Christian Broadcast Network production! Oh well missy cali, you lived for a hot gay minute, now yer just a hot Pageanty Mess! thank Gay christ, for ms. Perez and her always flaming/rooting for us Homosexuals on the Nationally Broadcasting bitch front! We all need to get all Cuban on the U.s. associate Press bull shit hetero drivel like mary Mario Lavanderia aka Ms. Perez Hilton Woman and shove that big Pinko commie Harvey Milk faggot fist down that Network t.V.Miss World Wide Web throat !!!!!!!! Ouch ! GaYS and faMe ! SOOOO faMeaSS! and faggot faMe is cuntagious! Now we here at M.e. love a fagulous faMe driven fag. leave it to “trans”plantable Joshua Miller and adorable DJ tony G. to fagfamebone it up a snatch. With faG faMe putting GaY shame back in its John travolta- a t r o l l c i o u s closet, it’s all about the faMe fagtor with their new RaGe SatURDaY (3rd Sat. of Month)!!!!! Limp Wristed with her Homo Henchmans dancers thru down and filthy for opening nelly night....click up on maRytv.net for her scandalous he/she shenanigans. some of the faMe hungry Homos on the beat: chris crocker, Danny noriega, Jonathan chang, candy Ass(hollywood), Gurpinder Virdee, Beverly Pills, Detox Icunt, Brian Boulter, the Brat Pack, Morgan, Raja, Venezuela, Billy Burgess, shane Ward, West Hollywood McDonough, sean cheerleaders, cheyne Hauk, Alaska thunderfuck & Phyilis navidad. faMe seekers I’m certain had quite the White Party Weekend full of faMe GaY GaMeS gaylore! Odyssey was gay and proud to sponsor Jeffrey sanker’s Carnivalcade of perfection for the 19th year! a BeHeMOtH BlaSt ! Was had by all us very Mary, Marys! the faMe fascist her self...the Gay branded new big 2 do ...Lady Ga Ga got all full blown Lady GAY GAY and had the bi-sexy gay balls to come out of her “lezbee friends” c l o s e t ! Poised with the always lesbian proper lavander colored hair extensions, and ass blowin’ out her Judy Jetson frock, ms. G had all us marys going down on her glowin’ disco stick and lickin’ her up all nite long. Missy Sunday t-dance another high high high light with Kat Deluna spicing up the masterbeat carnival and way gay playground. dJ Brett Henrichson spun us way up on Sankerland’s world fameass farris Wheel til the Big fag fireworks blew us gays away, again for another big hit easter basket huntin’ WP 20 ! Some of the legends of ladys cameo’d for this year’s Desert drama. Ms. Lauren Foster sashayed in with her “escort” David Wanamaker. Ms. Bobby trendy was escorted oUt of the bone White PaRty, because of her vile ass-implants imploding all over the viP aRea... even with a “bleached” anus, bobby, you can not offend the bone White World with those bargain- thailand type ass cheek implants. even the security team of J.s. enterprises can only take sooooo much. Really Mary! and on the fave of all fave Homo home owner home soiree’s Hollywood entertainment lawyer Alan Friel, as always hands down, RUleD!!!! the chic’ friday kick off was packed with faGStaRS: tJ Prokop, Michael Maloney, Rick Langley, chris Diamond, Wayne elias, Luis Barajas, Jim turner, Lauren Foster, Michael everaert, candy Ass(hollywood),Gurpinder Virdee, Francoise Pelican, Pat Rogers, David cooley, Jeffrey sanker, Paul nicholls, chris ciccone, Jay cribas, Detox Icunt, caesar Gomez, David Wiggins, Mike nava, Woody Woodbeck,

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Wayne castro, steve Machuca, chad Hudson and Anthony cortez....another Ms.Missing Gay Woman from the White inc. this year was a sorely(literally with a broken shoulder, ouch!)missed eric olea.. on the Uber super mobstaRsette side of the tracks... HeRe lOUNGe’S sHAMAntHA coX Pat Roger’s ’s after doing Sunday t-dance, bolted and threw quite the lavish lavander Mafia Partee’ on the up there a bit further side of the nevada desert in Gay-lamorus las vegas. yes Pat threw down the big bucks for a swank ms. Presidential suite at steve Wynn’s latest high-end hotel eNCORe’. and the Babes on that very viP guest list. yes. Players. alil’ birdy told us that David cooley was spotted casino side with King Wynn, makin’ some arrangements to jettsette back to l.a. with steve in his private jet..sounds very s.b.e.-y to m.e. a huge homo cudos to micKys downtown WeHo for their anxiously awaited Big Grand Gay Opening! Mary Anne and her bevy of beauties in her World fameass trenchcoat Mafia really lit up sm blvd. with their new , slick space ship of super cute sausages, with a swank upper level dick deck! With the help of Alberto and stefano, micKys is poised to take flight! Congratulations! Wow! time for desperate crys for fame ! Madonna sure knows how to cause a fake commotion! our favorite old pop star fell off her horse and is blaming the paparazzi flashbulbs, claiming that the press was stalking her and one of their cameras startled the horse and made her fall! Cancelled time! the Osbournes are back on television...for now! their variety “show” received scathing reviews and is already being cancelled from the fox lineup! Sorry, sharon osbourne but you’ll have to go back to vegetable growing lawsuits and tweeky cat fights for press this season! Gay marriage fame time! When Planet faggot’s most hated blogger Perez Hilton asked Miss cuntifornia what she thought of gay marriage and she responded that she thought marriage should be between a man and a woman, who knew a media mega storm would erupt?? Britney spears and Miley cyrus chimed in via twitter to lend their support for gay marriage and Perez even got up on larry King live to talk all about the fame! engagement time! Rumors are swirling that good ol’ closet Queen Justin timberlake and Jessica Biel might be ready to seal the deal! lawsuit alert! Prince is being sued for approx. $200,000 by a book publisher who claims he didn’t follow through on his book deal with them! Gay Mafia Media Bitchfest! the 20th annual GlaDD media awards attracted all the fagstars as usual! Kathy(closeted)Griffin, Alec Mapa, ellen Degeneres, Gus Van sant, Illeana Douglas, Wilson cruz, Kate Walsh, t.R. Knight, Portia De Rossi, and Jessica Alba were all a big part of the gay fame fun! attempted homicide fun time! “Dog” the Bounty Hunter was arrested for attempted homicide when a gun shot was fired during a taping of his show. no physical evidence... like a gun or a bullet hole... was found, but the police decided to lend a fame helping hand and booked dog on attempted homicide e gossip guru Shamantha never graduated from high school, so for me that’s some fast reading! It was great! Run to your bookstore and buy mommywood now, Marys! It was time once again for the 8th annual tribeca film festival! Stars like Harvey Keitel, christopher Walkin, Ivanka trump, Kanye West, Bono, Robert De niro, Josh Lucas, Uma thurman, Patty smyth, spike Lee, and Griffin Dunne were seen up in new york takingcharges anyways! Oh boy! Octo-mom nadya suleman’s stripper past is coming back to get her more publicity! It turns out Miss fame herself, was a stripper with the alias Angelina before she became Octo-famous! Britney who? Miley Cyrus’ Hannah Montana movie soundtrack has sky rocketed to #1 on the Billboard charts! My favorite star of all time tori spelling has just published her new book Mommywood! Miss tori is on a lil’ book publicity tour now and can i just say i started reading the book last week and I already finished it. as you all know, your favorit in all the film festival fame fun! Hey, stay tuned to Odyssey magazine for all the up time news on lawsuits, arrests, problem and fights with you favorite stars, Mary! MARYtV.net is miss Web’s Big Gay tMZ,click & see! and Fags & Bulls, We have a feeling President Barack obama will back Our faggot army up! HOMO Human Rights NOW. federally. all 50 states, just like Dustin Lance Black says! (Parody) Mary!

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monday MARKS 1/2 OFF!!! 861 N. La Cienga Blvd. 310.652.5252 This Weho tradition is wall to wall hot n’ hungry and smart! SASSY SHOW! at Here 696Robertson 310.360.84555 Livonia Services. CLUB ILLUSIONS at The Palms 8572 S.M.Blvd 310.652.6188 Viva Sex METRO MONDAYS at Fubar 7994 S.M.Blvd WEHO 323.654.0396 Cheyne Hauk & Megan Brooks & DJ K.B. New Wave it! 2-4-1specials MUSTACHE MONDAYS! at La Cita on Hill and 4th HotNew Local Queens! Fresh scene with DJ Josh Peace, Dino Dinco and Main Mustache Maria Nacho! click on free mustache ride site...myspace/mustachemondays, y u m SHOWGIRLS! at Mickys 8857 SM. Bl. 310.657.1176 Fine TopTrannyReview HEARTTHROB at House of Blues 8430 W Sunset Bl WEHO Last Mon 18+ RAM at Rage 8911 SM Bl. 310.652.7055 weho classic 18+ ROCK! alternascene with Lots a punk rock cock. SIN at Ripples 5101E.Ocean L.B. 562. 433. 0357 LA’s DJ Ernie Pearl. HipHop Night. VERY HOT - GOGO’s - NO COVER ENVY 120a Wilshire Fullerton 92832 8-2am, great food greater O.C.babes RICKY’S 13728 Hesperia Rd. #12 Victorville 760-951-5400 H.H.All Day! Amatuer Stripper Night $100.00 Prize $2.00dom & $3.00import bottle beer! TRAILER TRASH MONS MJ’s 2810 Hyperion 323.660.1503 Football2! STARLETTE REVUE at HM 740 E.Broadway LB 562.436.7900 10p show Jewels hosts a trans-razzle-dazzle top snatch show w. Starlette 18 plus ! ISRAEL’S CANTINA at Chico 2915 W. Beverly Blvd. Montebello Happy Hour Prices all Nite Long! 323.721.3401 CHEEP & EASYParadise Piano Bar 1800 Brodway Blvd L.B.562.436.2433 EL CONQUISTADOR 3701 W.Sunset Blvd. W.H. 323.666.5136 MonThurs.Happy Hours 4-6:30pm with hors d’ouvres too! Lunch Tues-Sun 11am FLASHBACK MONDAYS at 1350 Club 510 W. Anaheim St. Wilmington $8 lockers from 5pm-10m 310.830.4784 STRIP PARTIES at Midtowne 615 Kohler 213.680.1838 Yum! 1/2 PRICE ROOMS at Melrose Spa 7269 Melrose 323.937.2122 $13.50 KENNYS KARAOKE at The Rio 15910 Ventura Blvd. Encino’s very sexy Brazillian BBQ and Club, yep Kenny is taking over the Valley, Gurls!

tuesday RUSTYS SUPPER CLUB Falcon 7213 Sunset Blvd. Rusty Updegraff & Jared Will. Dine with FagStars...323.850.5350 RIM JOB! at MJ’s 2810 Hyperion SL. 323.660.1503 Nice n’ Sleazy Tues. action, with gogo gorges! Lick it up Queen, www.anthonylopezpresents.com DREAM GIRLS at Rage 8911 SM Blvd 310.652.7055 THE O.G. SHOW! KNIGHTLIFE at WINSTONS 7746 S.M. DJ Ryan Kenny!stevemachuca.com RUMORS at Mickys 8857 SM. Bl. 310.657.1176 Stefano Rosso & 18 + Too SPIN! at Lucky Strike 6801 Hollywood Blvd. Zach Moos and BoyU.com gets the balls of all the babes bowling! Hot! click onto www.spintuesdays.com BOYS NIGHT OUT Circus 6655 SM Blvd 323.462.1291 LA’s Tues Tradition,hot papi’s abound,DJ Ernie Pearl, and $3 cover! KARAOKE at Fubar 7994 SM 323.654.0396 FRESH Comedy Mic Night with Bruce Daniels getting the boys to whale! HAMBURGER MARYS Latino Heat 8288 Santa Monica Blvd. 323.654.3800 Taco Bar! and Chocolate Fountain...Cholo’s toooo! COCK PIT ! at Palms 8572 S.M. Anthony Cortez and the Sausages. KARAOKE W. BELLA Ripples 5101E.Ocean L.B & Drink Specials ! SPIRIT at Proof 215 N. Broadway Santa Ana Atmosphere Events doin the booze & boys 21+ DJ RPM & DJ Ahmed www.spiritTuesdays.com GANG BANG at Faultline 4216 Melrose Ave. S.L. 323.660.0889 music, video, hot boys cheap happy hour til’ 12am. Hot. ALL U CAN EAT TACO BAR! at HM 740 E.Broadway LB 562.436.7900 and karaoke with 50.00 cash prizes 9 30 pm, $1.00 tacos rule too! GO COMMANDO! at Boardners 1652 N.Cherokee Ave. Barbie Q host with free b4 11pm w. Live Bands LittleRedRadio & More BOULEVARD LOUNGE HAPPY HRS. 1114 N.Crescent Heights Bl. W.H. 323.654.6686 T-Fri. 4p-7pm $1.00 Heineken/Hein.Lite & drink sp 1/2 PRICE ROOMS at Midtowne 615 Kohler 213.680.1838.$14.00 MINESHAFT 1720 E. Broadway Long Beach 562.436.2433 BeerSpecials and Free Pool too! Wall to wall L.B. Babes always on Tops Only! Tuesdays KENNYS KARAOKE at East West Lounge 8851 S.M.Bl. Lounge Show at 10pm click on www.karaokewithkenny.com YOU CALL FLUX 817 Lake wood Blvd bellflower 562.633.6394 MARIX TACO TUESDAYS! ALL-YOU-CAN EAT TACO bar only $7.95 Marix WEHO 1108 N Flores st. 323.656.8800

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wednesday GARAGE Here. 696 N.Robertson Blvd. 310.360.8455 BOYS HOT BOYS Paul Nicholls & Woody Woodbeck turn this new humpday humpier ! FUEGO at Rage 8911SM Blvd 310.652.7055 DJ Salvador keeps the Cholo La hump day.... burning. o u c h . Ay Papis y Putos! INDUSTRY NIGHT Numbers 8745 SM Bl. 310.652.7700 JasonSeachrest! HOT RODS at Mickys 8857 SM. Bl. 310.657.1176 Stefano Rosso Sexz it up. WHISKEY DICK! Fubar 7994 SM Bl. SouthernRock! 5 dollar shots! COBRA HAPPY HOUR 10937 Burbank Blvd. (at vineland) NoHo 818.760.9798 Mon-Sat. Cas & Ethan 2.75 cocktails & 2.00 off calls! CLUB DLS at M.J.’s 2810 Hyperion 323.660.1530 Papi Productions! ay! THE BRICK KARAOKEat 340 Thomas Street Pomona 909.629.6333 DIVA DINNER! at HM 740 E.Broadway LB 562.436.7900c humpday hot! with Candis Cayne servin transbeef with her man DJ Marco spinning you too COCKFIGHT at Cobra 10937 Burbank Blvd. 818.760.9798 HotHotNoHo! ROOSTERFISH Margarita Weds 1302 Abbott Kinney Blvd. $3.00 Margarita’s all nite schlong! and cute beach gay babes. BINGO! Hamburger Mary’sWeho 8288 S.M. Bl.323.654.3800 A fierce celebrity ball throw down check out the hotties and drink specials! KENNY’S KARAOKE at fiesta cantina 8865 Santa Monica Bl. starts 10pm new groovy jungle local. This is “The” Karaoke !!! Let it Rip Gurl! 241drinks! BUBBLE LOUNGE at The Brig 1515 Abbot Kinney Blvd. Loungey! Chic! DELICIOUS at Arena 6655 S.M. Ghetto Hip-Hop R&B, 323.692.3636 Merengue room too! 18+ DJ Manny C. FLASHBACK WED.S at Melrose Spa 7269 Melrose Ave $8.00 lockers! from 5 pm to 11pm Every Wed. Night! Cheap Fun SEX SlurP! MOONLIGHT ROLLERWAY GAY! 5110 San Fernando Road Glendale very sexy swishy skatey thang, love this Boys on Wheels! 818.241.3630 1/2 PRICE ROOMS at 1350 Club 510 W.Anaheim St. Wilmington 310.830.4784 Rooms $14.50 lockers $12.50 KAROAKE W. PATRICK Ripples 5101 E.Ocean Blvd. L.B. 562.433.0357 $1 DRINK NIGHT at Oasis 1386 Foothill Bl. Upland 909.920.9590 drink cheap n’ get it all going on humpday!

thursday TIGERHEAT & HEAVEN at The Avalon 1735 Vine St. Hollywood 18+/ DJsJasonLavitt,RayRhodes&HowieT.RULE.www.clubtigerheat.com BIG FAT DICK! Fubar 7994 SM Blvd Mario Diaz gives you buckets o jizz with DJ Riley Moore spinning out of cocktrol CLUB NUR at Eleven 8811 Santa Monica W.H. 310.855.0800 Hot Steamy Sexy Sand box! Gevo & Hrair Hookah you WEHO style RAGE 18+ 8911 SM  Blvd 310.652.7055 18 & ova star type young fresh chickens! Daddys! Yum, and Drink Specials 2 SMACK! at Obar 8279 Santa Monica Bl.323.822.3300 Tom W.! EYE CANDY at Numbers 8745 SM Bl. 310.652.7700 sweet boyz! PAN DULCE at Micky’s 8857 SM Bl. 310.657.1176 Jamie Awad’s Papis!! COCKTAILS W.THE STARS! at Mickys 8857 SM. Bl. 310.657.1176 Porn! DOLL HOUSE at HM 740 E.Broadway LB 562.436.7900 18 + gurls! FRICTION The Vegas Club 1901 Newport Bl. Coasta Mesa Archer & Viet Tran’s MEGA CLUB Pop, Top 40, Dance, 80s, Electronic Mashups and wall to wall O.C. hotties! www.boinkevents.com SANCTUS at Cobra 10937 Burbank Blvd. 818.760.9798 SNATCH at Menagerie 3581 UniversityAv w. Raven 951.788.8000 THURS.NIGHT DELIGHT VIP Nightclub 3673 Merrill Ave.stripper sexiness,$5 all ya can drink draft, Karaoke Patio2! 951.784.2370 BEE’S WAX at 422 E. 1st 213.625.0566 Hip Hop DJ Ben & Ernie Pearl this monthly is rulin with the big beats! www.myspace.com/beeswax_la DREAMGIRLS at Ripples 5101E.Ocean L.B. Hottest Female Impersonation! 9:30pm Call for Reservations 562. 433. 0357. Karaoke Too! SPICE The Brick 340 Thomas Street Pomona 909.629.6333 FRAT HOUSE 8112 GardenGrove Blvd G.G. 714.373.FRAT Hot Strip Shows on Sat & SunToo! Drag review on Saturdays! PORN STAR J.O. PARTY 8pm at Midtowne Spa. 615 Kohler La. 213.680.1838 Big Porn Industry slabs of beef! Dinner is served! DANCE IDOL at Oasis Nightclub 1386 Foothill Blvd Upland 909.920.9590 10 wk contest CASH prizes...puta! C.FRENZ-KARAOKE (form.Bananas) at 7026 Reseda Blvd. 818.996.2976 with Tony B.The best karaoke in The Valley! GODDESS NIGHT LA’S #1 Trannie night hosted by Leslie Monroy! at COBRA - 10937 Burbank Blvd. (at vineland) NoHo 818.760.9798 JEWELS BODYPARTS Falcon1435 E BroadwayLB562.422.1928$1beer

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MICKYS BEEFED UP MANTENDERS SERVIN UP THE SAUCE ALA MARY ANNEʼS TRENCHCOAT MAFIA, S L U R P !!!!!!!!

CIRCO LOCO L O V E R JIM & GURL JEN WERK THE BRICK CIRQUE DU SO GAY

MICKYS HOT ROD RANDY & DANDY HUMPDAY HOTNESS!

HERE CANT GET SASSY SHOW-IER THAN THIS! WITH PATRON TRANS GOD MOTHER IRENE SODERBERG & LIVONIA & TAMMIE

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RAGE NIGHTCLUBʼS FAME SATURDAYS HAD ALILʼ N.Y.C. SISTAH RAJA IN-GAYSION WITH HORNY ENTOURAGE

FAME 2 FAME CHEEK 2 CHEEK TRANSTARS MORGAN & VENEZUELA RAGE-IN’ 3RD SAT.

who?

MICKYS GETS ALL THE CUTE THANGS A GLOWING WITH ALBERTO KEEPIN EMʼ FLOWING INTO AFTERHOURS TOO!

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friday FRESH! at Eleven 8811 S.M. Blvd. 310.855.0800 Jeffrey & Paul comp admin. 9pm cocktails, 11pm dancing with resident DjMorningstar freshness! HERE’S TRUCKSTOP 696 Robertson 310.360.8455 DJ Ray Rhodes gets this fine-ass fryday homo & Lezbo Mix hang, a going! Always packed ! POPSTARZ at The Factory 652 N.LaPeer, We Ho 310.659.4551 boysboysboys every friday, yum!Musikala’80’s&90’s $2 Cosmos too! SHITS ‘N’ GIGGLES A DISCO FANTASY 740 Broadway betweent 7th & 8th. Enter in the alley. FREE before 10:30pm. myspace.com/shitsandgiggles DANCE BITCH at Fubar7994 Santa Monica Bl.323,654.0396 The Gay Mobstars Billy Francesca going! All The Cody Cock Studs,DJ ALex too! ­GAMEBOI 8911SM Blvd 310.652.7055 Paul E gets the high-n-r-g flying with gamey gays packing this Raging 18 plus pretty gameboi thang SWALLOW at M.J.S 2810 Hyperion 323.660.1503 Mario Diaz DJBarbeu STRENGTH IN NUMBERS Numbers 8745 S.M.Blvd 310.652.7700 hhours ROOSTERFISH 1320 Abbott Kinney Venice Blvd. 310.392.2123 Beach Boy Babes out in droves!blondes and butch! drink specials too! slurp! MISCHIEF AT MARKS 861 La Cienega ”QueerComedy”1st & 3rd Fri improv starts at 10:30pm pee your pants! 310.652.5252 LOLAS WORLD CABARET at Club Cobra 10937 Burbank Blvd.$2.00 Coronas until midnite. GoGo Games Give aways Drag Queens Gays BOYSROOM viaTigerheat Executive Suite Nightclub 3428 E.PCH, L.B. 21+ FAME at Circus 6655 SantaMonica W.H.323.721.1291 latin,house R&B Latina Diva Karlota 9 pm - 3 :30am 21 & ova!The most caliente cholos ! THE BRICK 340 S.Thomas St. Pomona 909.629.6333 boys thru the brick roof! Hosted by bartender Juan GoGo Gods and $3.00 you call it shots! $2.00 DRINKS! at Oasis 1386 E.Foothill Upland 909.920.9590 beef stick! BOYBAR HMarys 740 E Broadway LB 562.436.7900 ClubLucky DjZach ASIAMANIA at Stone 5221 Hollywood 323.466.6061DQs & Ricedish! ILLUSIONS 2 at 7969 Santa Monica 323.654.0280 Viva Sex get’s x-tra D.Q. dirty with the Erotic Transexual Topless Review Midnite. Transworld! CLUB DIVA at VIP Club 3673 Merrill Av. Riverside 951.784.2370 VanityHal ston,Raven,Mayhem,BridgetteDiamond,Kiwi..KrazyGurls!11pm ALIBI EAST 225 San Antonio Pomona 909.623.9422 Latinlove,Yum!!! FLASHBACK FRIDAYS at Chico 2915 Beverly Blvd.Mntbello 323.721.3403 Dj Frank aka Dj T.J. playing videos & Old Skool $ 2.Coronas AZUCAR at C.Frenz(form.Bananas)7026 Reseda Blvd. Reseda DJ Alexander, Tribal-HipHop-House fresh new space in Valley 818.996.2976 FREE BARRIOENTRANCE Frathouse 8112GardenGrove 714.373.3728 DEBRAS GIRLS at Ripples 5101 E.Ocean 562.433.0357 GOGO Girls CLUB COBRA REMIX 10937 Burbank Blvd. (at vineland) NoHo 818.760.9798 LATIN GO GO dancers DJ Ivan hiphop & latin Caliente!

saturday DESTINATION Here.696 Robertson 310.360.8455 Jeffrey Sanker & Paul Nicholls, Bring the Gay Mafioso Mariposa’s into Pat Rogers downtown Weho! RED LIGHT Fubar 7994 S.M. 323.791.3041 Dark and Lovely Lads! SHUT UP & DANCE at Eleven 8211S.M.Blvd 310.855.0800. DJ’s Paul Ramirez & Morningstar. Spinning 60’s, 70’s, 80’s & 90’s THE “ABBEYWOOD” 684 Robertson Blvd. 310.289.8410 Bi-sexy Scene. CHERRY POP at Ultra Suede 661N.Robertson Tom Whitman’s Soda Tops! THE HIDEAWAY 801 Grand Ave at 8th (base at sky lofts) DowntownGay! RAGE 8911 SMBlvd 310.652.7055 youngRfreshRhotteR! SEXY 21+Boys given ya 2 rooms of dance dolls, hip hop too! hot damn!!! ARENA 6655 S.M.BLVD 323.462.1291 Gene La Pietra’s Grande! Dj Sal MJ’S ANTHEM 2810 Hyperion S.L.323.660.1503 Tribal-House DJ Raphael M.,Dan Deleon, Alexander, Kio Kio & More ! A Tatoo Chris hot flesh pit! FAME 8911 SMBlvd 310.652.7055 Josh Miller & Dj Tony G third Sat.of mnth HUSTLE at Numbers 8745 S.M.Blvd 310.652.7700LateNight h hour 11-2am CLUB ASIA at CAN Club 14241 Euclid#C.101GardenGrove 1st Sat. of Month, click on www.boyevents.com DJFernando&Felix!! REFLEX at Ultra Suede 661 N. Robertson Bl. flesh pool every other saturday A.Hours click on evenstarpresents.com for more FLAWLESS at VIP 3673 Merrill Av.Riverside, yep mo’ Hot Drag Shows! hosted by Venus D Lite, featuring Chad Michaels, Raja Delta Work, Tommi Rose, Jackie Beat , and admirers..show 11pm SCREW at MJ’s 2810 Hyperion Ave. 3rd Sat. of Month fer your kink needs Tattoo Chris’z raunchiest Dick Down, click on Mjsbar.com SPIT at Faultline 4216 Melrose 323.969.2530 3rd Sat.of mth.DJPaulV. OLE OLE Club Cobra 10937 Burbank Blvd.N H ClubCobraLA.com 2. Latin Pop, Cumbias, COBRA dancers and Our Fave El Show de Karlotta

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SOCIETY at Bordello 901 E. 1st street Last Sat. of each month Billy Burgess www.societyproductions.com Royals & Randys! societylosangeles@gmail.com VIP 18 & OVER 3673 Merrill Ave. Hairspray 3rd.Sat.of month packed hot teen scene, 909.784.2370 lots a drink specials!!!! CHICO 2915 W. Beverly Bl. Montebello 323.721.3404 DJ Brett spins hiphop,house,oldschool, and Latin $3 Dirty Water Shots! slurp! BLENDER Faultline 4216 Melrose Ave 323.660.0889 Mashups! Mary! HAMBURGER MARYS 740 E Broadway LB 562.436.7900 Sat 1st Flaunt HEAT(fuse Girls) 2nd CLub Asia 21+, 3rd Flaunt (ladies) 4th Club BearKamp DRAGSTRIP 66 at The Echo 822 Sunset Bl.323.413.8200 2nd Sat. Messy T.V.’s PunkrockCock, slurp! www.dragstrip66.com RIPPLES 5101E.OceanBlvd. L.B.562.433.0357 The 1st Sat.LaPlayaLatin!2nd Sat. Bear Bar! 3rd BlkLight Underwear Party 4th Under the BigTop ! Alibi East 225 S. San Antonio Av Pomona 909.623.9422 NEO exotic review 11PM followed by after hours until 4 am.

sunday SIZET.Here. 696 Robertson HereLounge.com 310.360.8455BeerBust2! Tom Whitman & Anthony Lopez bring the tops in for this Size Queen Keggr! AREA 643 N.LaCienga Blvd. 310.652.2012.Sam Nazarian’s Behemoth Danceteria goes Big Fag Last Sun./Mnth. A David,Jeffrey,Paul Gem.Prod MY HOUSE 7080 Hollywood Bl. Sanker & Nicholls Get all Gay Home owner action every otha sunday babz...sundaysvip@aol.com STEREO at M.J.s 2810 Hyperion Av. S.L. 323.660.1503 -DJ Cassette 70’s-2000’s! $1 drinks Alo & Gevo! beer bust before from 4pm - 9pm. CLUB WHIP at HM 740 Broadway HM 562 436 7900 Ryan Liddel free pool & darts $2.00 Cocktails and retro active 80’s & 90’s dance DRAGNET! at Hamburger Marys W.H. 8288 S.M.Bl. 323.654.3800 Belle Aire Host this SRS ShootOut and Shenanigans! 9-11pm no cover! RAGE 18+ 8911 Santa Monica Blvd. 310.652.7055 a real teen scene! FRISK 740 Broadway LA. mndevents.com this Monthly, is yep Mike&David LUCKY SUNDAYS at Tia Juna’s Long Bar 14988 Sand Canyon Ave Irvine www.LuckySundays.com $2 shots, LuckyStar 10-11pm Dj Zach 18 + CLUB PAPI L.A. at The Factory this special monthly event party rules! info:www.papipresents.com Jamie Awad’s Cholos! CLUB FUEL BEER BUST 11608 Ventura Blvd. S.C. 818.506.0404 bust 4pm-10pm free barbeque too!! click on clubfuel.us BALLIN Fubar 7994 Santa Monica Bl.323.654.0396 Hector Extravaganza! FOXTAIL SUNDAYS 9077 SM Bl. 310.859.8369 SBE Babz every otha! BUSTED! at The Motherlode 8944S.M. 310.659.9700 bigOl’beerbust...$5 infinity/$1glass! DJ Bobby Y. &karoake11-2! SOBAR HERE 696 N.Robertson WH 310.360.8455 1st Sun.ofMnth 1-4pm. HAMBURGER MARYS BRUNCH! Hamburger Mary’s 8288 S.M.Bl. 323.654.3800 11a-3p.Bloody Marys & mimosa specials too! Eat Queen. BEAT IT! at 7070 Hollywood BL. New Wave Orama! DJ Jason Lavitt brings the 80’s back w/$1.00 drinks 18+ chicken’s galore!!! RICKY’S 13728 Hesperia Rd. #12 Victorville 760-951-5400 Beer Bust! 3pm- 8pm Free Food! 18 + after 8pm. Drag Show at 9:30 pm DRAG IDOL at Oasis 1386 E.Foothill Upland 909.920.9590 RAWHIDE & ALT-ROQ! at Club Cobra 10937 Burbank Blvd.(at Vineland) N H ClubCobraLA.com 3pm-8pmCountry & Western beer bust B-B-Q 8pm-2amIndie Alt-Roq Dancing & BeerBust DJ Paul V.Cobradancers THE BRICK BeerBust ! 40 S.Thomas St. Pomona 909.629.6333 and later Sexy Eddie’s GoGo contest ! winner gets a spot to GoGo at The Brick! C.FRENZ 7026 Reseda Bl. Reseda 818.996.2976 Beer Bust packed with babes on beer.... 3-8pm drink up queens! RED ROOM at WildCat Lounge 15 w Ortega Santa Barbara Dj Gavin Roy This Best Beach Babes scene rules! myspace/RobertMendez gets the guys! RIPPLES GOSPEL BRUNCH 5101E.OceanBlvd. 11a-3pmBrunch with Lady Red Couture starring Jasmine Masters $1 Mimosas ! RIPPLES TEA & BEERBUST 5101E.OceanBlvd. L.B.562.433.0357 Free Mexican BBQ, Karaoke (after 10p). DJ’s and GOGO Boys, $2 Bud Lights, $2 Long Islands, $3, Vodka Drinks. V.I.P. SUNDAYS 3673 Merrill Riverside 909.784.2370 opens@3:00 beerbust till 11:00,L.I.Tea’s 3.75& martini’s stiff too. STRIP PARTIES at Midtowne Spa 3pm 615Kohler213.680.1838 THE HOOK UP 1047 E.Second St. Pomona 909.620.2844 Beerbust 3p-8pm 1.00 16oz. tap, no cover www.hook-up.net UNDIES SUNDAYS CREST 5935 Cherry Ave. 562.423.6650 $2.50 wells will 10pm free BBQ 4pm till 8pm Hot boys n’ briefs!

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FAULTLINE FUR BURGER MANWICHES... ALWAYS A HANDLE BAR MOUSTACHE OR GOATEE TO BEER BUST R I D E

who? CHRIS CROCKER HOOKS DANNY NORIEGA 4 SOME RAGE FAME BONE FUN!

BIG MIGHTY WHITIES! ON THE MICKYS BABES DANCE FLOOR A GO GO

LITTLE RICHARD & DAVID BOWIE L O L IMP WRISTED WITH FAME HO JOSH MILLER RULE RAGE 3RD SAT. O MONTH!

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MICKYS THURSDAYS IS PAN DULCE WITH JAMIE AWADʼS PAPI ARMY OF SUAVOCITOS ! AYYYYYYYYY !

MARIO CRUZ IN THE MICKYS BIG GAY GRAND HOLE OPENING !

JEFFREY SANKER IS CANDIS CAYNE’S NUMBER ONE FAG FAN! EVERY MONDAY DEEP IN DRAGLAND AT THE ABBEY

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who?

A KNIGHTLIFE FAIREY IMPRESSARIO! N SYNCʼS TOP TAURUS LANCE BASS IN THE WINSTONS TUESGAY THANG

THE ABBEY’S CHUCK(R) IN A LIQUOR LOCKDOWN ABBEY BEACH SATURDAYS

DRAG IDOL WEINER! YEP PRINCESS CONTOUR LADY GLEN ALAN

KNIGHTLIFE WARRIORS STEVE MACHUCA & DJ RYAN KENNY WITH A TRANS HOT DAMSEL ASHLEY LOVE TUESDAYS WINSTONS, BABES

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ATOMICMEN.COMʼS DADDY ANDREW BRISKIN & LOGAN INDUSTRY WEDNESDAY IT UP AT NUMBERS

CLUB NUR’S SHWARMAS STRAIGHT, ER A GAYLEY FROM ISRAEL! THURSDAYS! ELEVEN!

RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE FACE FIRST! MS. BEBE ZAHARA BENET SERVES THE ELEVEN FRESH FAGS! HERE W. DRAGMOUND!

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CHECK YOURSELF.

There could be something fishy going on.

A painless sore. A rash. Then they’re gone. But it’s not. Syphilis is in you, doing its damage.

Get a syphilis test every 6 months.

The longer you wait, the more damage it can do. Fortunately, it’s curable. For testing locations, go to ReallyCheckYourself.org

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By: Will Ihavetochangemyname Hi there ho there kiddies, I am in the best of moods as a bunch of my favorite artists Pet Shop Boys and Depeche Mode are releasing new records this week. First off, Pet Shop Boys have delivered one of their records in years. Yes it’s their 10th studio album and it’s a collection of songs that they might have treated us to in their heyday. The productions are lush and move all over. Some of my favorite tracks are “All Over The World”, “Beautiful People”, “Vulnerable“ (a six-and-a-half minute ballad) and “Building A Wall.” The Pet Shop Boys in their 25th year do not disappoint- they continue to build a legacy of great long lasting albums. The import has a bonus disc of remixes which are worth getting if you are a die hard fan like me. Depeche Mode is also back this week with their 12th studio album, Sounds Of The Universe. I have been excited to hear this since they announced the release last year. Supposedly, they were going back to analog synths and their roots. My overall take on this collection is that it’s good but not great, with some strong tracks that recall their 80’s heyday. “Wrong” took me a moment to digest but, after seeing the dark video clip for it, I was in. Standout tracks also include “Fragile Tension, Miles Away/ The Truth Is” and “Hole To Feed”. This collection will probably really grow on me, so check back, I might fall in love with it over time. If you are looking for a great Spring Dance compilation, look for Masterbeat’s 20th Anniversary White Party cd mixed by Brett Henrichsen. It’s chock full of hits and must for all you twirlers that went to the Palm Springs annual event a few weeks ago. Stand outs are Oscar G’s “Back To You” and Lula ft Papa Joe “Last Night A DJ Saved My Life”. This is the cd you pop in when you’re having a party and can’t afford a dj. See you on the dance floor bitches.

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Spend May 21-24, 2009 Memorial Day Weekend in Sunny Hawai’i! The 20th Annual Rainbow Film Festival MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND - May 21-24, 2009 EXPERIENCE THE BEST LGBT MOVIES IN PARADISE!

The Honolulu Gay & Lesbian Cultural Foundation present the 20th Annual Honolulu Rainbow Film Festival in memory of Adam Baran. This year marks the 20th Anniversary which will take place over Memorial Day Weekend, May 21 - 24, 2009 at the Doris Duke Theatre at the Honolulu Academy of Arts. The festival will showcase over 25 feature, documentary, and short films. Festivities will culminate at the Gala Fundraiser, Sunday evening May 24 at the Luce Pavillion at the Honolulu Academy of Arts. This is a great opportunity to be part of this huge 20th Anniversary Celebration with comedian Bruce Vilanch, Academy Award winner Dustin Lance Black, and a slew of other special surprise guests! The Gayla Celebration will provide delicious complimentary local pupu (appetizers) and a full open bar as well as a bevy of wonderful local entertainment! CONTINUING: Friday, May 29, 2009 at the Aloha Theater in

Kainaliu, Big Island, Hawai’i and Saturday, May 30, 2009 at the Palace Theater in Hilo, Big Island, Hawai’i. Visit www.hglcf.org or www.rainbowfilmfestival.org for up-to-date breaking news or call (808)381-1952.

ACCOMMODATIONS THE CABANA AT WAIKIKI

Honolulu’s Only Gay Guesthouse 2551 Cartwright Rd, Waikiki 96818 Toll Free (877)902-2121 www.cabana-waikiki.com The Cabana at Waikiki is the nicest gay hotel Odyssey Magazine has ever been in! The owner, Lee Fitzgerald is constantly remodeling....AMAZING! Featuring complimentary continental breakfast, weekly cocktail parties on Tuesday, Thursday, & Saturday, 8 man jacuzzi, and WiFi. Just 2 blocks from the beach, the Cabana at Waikiki offers 15 charming one bedroom suites...IT’S A MUST!

AQUA HOTELS & RESORTS Toll free (866)406-2782 www.aquaresorts.com/diversity

Aqua Hotels & Resorts’ Honolulu Rainbow Film Festival packages start at only $130 per night (valued at over $250) with a minimum 4-night stay and are available at: Aqua Aloha Surf & Spa, Aqua Bamboo & Spa, Aqua Palms & Spa, Aqua Waikiki Wave, and Park Shore Waikiki. To take advantage of the Honolulu Rainbow Film Festival Travel Package, packages must be booked before May 11, 2009 for stays from May 18-28, 2009.

Waikiki Gay Beaches Queen’s Surf

Located in Kapiolani Park at the Diamond Head end of Waikiki, this is the gay beach. On Kalakaua Ave., as you enter Kapiolani Park from Waikiki, follow the esplanade along the beach. The area from the groin to the Waikiki Aquarium is usually very gay. Snack bar and restrooms adjacent.

Diamond Head

Within hiking distance of Waikiki, yet fairly secluded and countrylike. Gayest area is below the lighthouse. From Kapiolani Park, head up Diamond Head Road. Just before the lighthouse is a small road leading down to the beach. No facilities, so take food and water if you plan to spend the day. Pick up Odyssey Magazine Hawaii or visit them on line @ www.odysseyhawaii.com

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TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20) Ouch, ouch, ouch! It’s highly unlikely that anyone is having worse luck with money during the last half of April than you Bulls. Not only is your incoming cash quite possibly severely curtailed but your outflow of money is heavier than ever. If you’ve been wondering how you can squeeze into those ten year old jeans, now you know: don’t (can’t afford to) eat, lose weight. And for God’s sake, avoid any unnecessary expenses like the plague. If you get an offer to make a 200% profit on a small investment, hang up the phone. Or shut the door. You’re going to need ever penny you have to keep your worn-out ass from living in a refrigerator box on Skid Row. Ah, hindsight! Bullies like you: Lance Bass, Pia Zadora, Audrey Hepburn GEMINI (May 21-Jun 21) Have you Twins ever heard of The Mouse That Roared? No? Well, that’s a good way to describe you for the upcoming few weeks. Normally being someone who seldom makes waves (except accidentally, which happens often), your present frame of mind these days is all about winning. How you win or whether you win fairly may not be an issue. This can be a terrifically exciting feeling but it’s also one that can go out of control easily. Yes, your determination to succeed probably can’t fail. But your way of overcoming trouble might create turmoil. Think - at least for a second before you make a major decision. Step on the wrong toes pointlessly and you may have more trouble than you handle. Not that you can handle much in the first place! Split personalities like you: Angelina Jolie, Noah Wylie, Dr. Ruth Westheimer CANCER (Jun 22-Jul 22) What’s the matter, little Crab? Why is it that even the best news delivered to your door only conjures up a blending of happiness and regret? You seem to be excessively weary throughout the last half of April, almost as if you’ve simply run out of steam. Disappointment, bitter experiences and unhappiness falls on your shoulders quite easily right now - especially in the romance department. It’s quite possible that you’re physically in need of rejuvenation. But more likely, it’s your spirit that could use some repair. Don’t let the adversity befalling you now make you bitter. Next month is sure to perk up and give you a smile again. Besides, you’re just too fucking self-indulgent and emotional, anyway! Other people besides you with Crabs: Geraldo Rivera, Kevin Bacon, Ringo Starr LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) Oh, dear. You fiery Leos tend to be optimistic, even when the situation doesn’t warrant such a happy response. This is good and you’re going to need every shred of optimism you have right now because there’s a great deal of sadness and strife occurring in your life over the next couple of weeks. Although this could come about through most any avenue of your life, it’s most likely attacking you at your most vulnerable point - sex and love. A feeling of absence and separation could spring from your lover’s traveling. Or it could come about through a somewhat nasty breakup. Tread carefully (for once in your life) or you might cause the end of this affair quite by accident. And if you do, you’ll regret it for months. Yes, your heart will continue to beat - but just barely! Other bossy Lions: Cole and Dylan Sprouse, Roger Clemens, Billy Bob Thornton

SCORPIO (Oct 21-Nov 22) If April proved to be a rather formidable month, you Scorpions are allowed to sit back for a moment and breathe a sigh of relief that most of the stress is over. April may well prove to be a month of conclusions and completion for most of you. Although this can sound a bit saddening, it most likely won’t be. Indeed, you seem to encounter renewed admiration from people you know and success quite a bit over the following two weeks. If you’ve just gone through great changes, rest assured that no unforeseen surprises await to destroy the feeling of peace you have. You may also find yourself reaping rewards from things you did months ago and they might just bring a little financial windfall right when you need it. You CAN be lucky sometimes! Vicious Stingers like you: Alexz Jackson, Sean “P.Diddy” Combs, Matthew McConaughey SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) Strange and wonderful things to do with money seem to befall you lucky Centaurs for the next few weeks. Since you never seem to be able to generate much cash legitimately, you should find it coming your ways through vastly unexpected and extremely pleasant sources. No matter how tight your finances have been lately, the last half of April seems to bring you income beyond your wildest expectations and certainly far beyond what you deserve. Security, well-being, prosperity and comfort are yours for the asking. You’re strongly encouraged to enjoy this wealth and abundance but, if you’re smart, you won’t spend much of it. It doesn’t grow on trees, you know! Half-Humans like you: Jay-Z, Tyra Banks, Lila McCann CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19) How do you Goats feel about travel? Have you already planned a trip for sometime during the last half of April? If not, you might very well be surprised by a journey popping up any day. This travel is somehow connected to a new adventure, advancement into the unknown. Perhaps what’s being discussed isn’t a physical trip at all but rather a major alteration in your psyche. Or is that too heavy for you? Either way, you can expect to see your life changed in some way rather radically over the next few weeks. Whether you’re jetting to Miami or simply realizing what an asshole you really are, you’d better fasten your seatbelt. For someone who’d rather face castration rather than undergo improvement, it may be a bumpy ride! Can-Chewers such as yourself: Michael Stipe, Marilyn Manson, Mel Gibson AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18) First of all, you Water Bearers should be seeing some delightful new facets of your personality opening up during the first week of May. A more contemplative and poetic side is likely to emerge: a more graceful person, someone who likes to dream of sensual delights. And this is all wonderful, considering that during this time you should also be receiving some kind of proposal, appeal or request which could open up a whole new side of your life. Whether it’s based on attraction (probably sexual - knowing you), a challenge (business perhaps) or an invitation (could be social, could be sexual.could be both!), you’re certain to find this new discovery quite to your liking. Bon appetit! Other Air Signs masquerading as Water Signs: Oscar De La Hoya, Brandon “Bug” Hall, Natalie Imbruglia

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) During the last half of April, it might be advisable for you Virgins to keep a hardhat handy. It may very well seem as though everybody around you is in a combative mood right now and their favorite target for conflict is likely to be you. It’s doubtful that you’ll be having a lot of fun since all the strife, struggle and unsatisfied desires you have to deal with will probably exhaust you. And along with all this merriment, work is likely to be much more stressful than usual. It’s can be a vicious cycle since all the bad happening could make your mood rile others into even worse moods and they’ll take it out on you. If you’re unemployed, count your blessings. And if you are employed.keep your fingers crossed that you stay that way! Other lifelong Virgins: Beyonce Knowles, Dan Miller, Jason David Frank

PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) Oh, oh dear. Interpersonal relationships are definitely not your forte over the next few weeks. You Fishies are likely to be facing all kinds of despair and wounded feelings when it comes to dealing with other people. Quarrels, bitter words and cruelty may very well pitch you to the brink of seeing a therapist at long last. You probably won’t, though; it’s so much easier just to finish off that bottle of vodka, isn’t it? Bad dreams and anxiety over a loved one could leave you sleepless and fretful. General misery, unhappiness and worry may gnaw away at your sanity like thousands of maggots on rotted meat. But oh, well. You probably deserve it. After all, you’re usually the one inflicting pain on others. Aren’t you? Other Cold Fish besides you: Jake Lloyd, Chastity Bono, Margo Harshman

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 23) Being symbolized by the Scales, you Librans are constantly in search of balance. During the last half of April, at least, it appears that you’re able to meet your goal and find a measure of peace and contentment. Fulfillment, abundance and satisfaction appear to be your primary feelings right now. This is likely to motivate you to do some heavy celebrating. The lessening of your burdens could also leave you feeling healed in a sense as well. And since you’re fairly drowning in good luck, pleasure and hospitality these days you should feel perfectly justified if you feel like kicking up your heels. Just make sure you don’t forget to bring them down again.or at least use a condom! Weigh Watchers like you: Rachael Leigh Cook, Alicia Silverstone, Susan Sarandon

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19) Is life a little turbulent these days on the never-calm seas of your life? Well, if it is you should be glad. The more upsets and complications that happen to you over the next two weeks will only give you further proof of your current invincibility. Any game you take on right now, you’re sure to win. Victory, success and gain are all you’re seemingly able to create these days. So let your opponents bring out their big guns. You’re got more than enough ammo to mow them down like wooden ducks at a shooting gallery. You’re always bragging about your incredible good luck and brains. For once, it seems you might actually be able to offer proof of your claims! Rammers like you: Joss Stone, Jamie Lynn Spears, David Blaine

Lady Katherine Connella has been writing frighteningly insightful and accurate astrology columns for gay magazines since 1993. She is the author of a shocking book of memoirs, currently available for sale online in print at www.booklocker.com, www.amazon.com and www.borders.com among others. For more information, go to:

www.katherineconnella.com

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Men In Uniform By Kinky Brothers you are pulled over by a cop because you were driving over the speed limit down the street. the cop gets out of his patrol car and walks to your car. You roll down your window to find the cop’s crotch at your eye level. on either side of his crotch is his baton, handcuffs and hand gun. you start feeling a rise in your own crotch and start fantasizing how you are going to be dragged out of the car, handcuffed, bent over the car hood, and fucked royally by the cop. Suddenly the cop’s voice asking for your driver’s license and insurance card wake you from the fantasy. many of us have had this same fantasy or something very similar to it. it may be many different uniforms, from military to the UPs brown uniform. We seem to have a fascination with men in uniforms, which can be iconic representations of masculinity and signifies an element of power/control/authority that is part of bdsm. Generally men tend to be very visual, so the sight of a man in uniform will tend to stir up the juices in us. Uniforms can be a form of male ornamentation and display, like a male lion’s mane or a rooster’s plumage. there’s a whole group of people who are uniform fetishists, which means they get turned on by wearing uniforms and/or admire people wearing uniforms. the fanatic uniform collector will try to assemble a complete uniform from head to toe and all fabrics, pins, accessories, colors must be exact to the original. When wearing this complete

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uniform in public, the wearer will act accordingly by following protocols that are fitting to the uniform and rank. the wearer takes pride in collecting, preserving, and wearing the uniform, so don’t be too fast in touching his uniform without asking permission first. Some collectors will display these beautiful uniforms as decor in their home as well. some uniform fetishists have a uniform replicated out of leather and/or latex. Jeff at syren creates hot looking uniforms out of latex. i personally own a chP motorcycle uniform made in tan leather by 665 leather. Rough trade has many leather uniforms and blue collar replicas on the racks too. many uniform fetishists have a copy of the uniform made, such as the Us marine formal dress. the copy is the one that can be worn during sex, get messy in, and such, so the original one is not ruined. Of course there’s the Domino’s delivery guy, mechanic, fireman and many other blue collar uniforms that don’t require a copy be made. these are easily washed after hot, messy, dirty sex and worn again. You don’t have to spend hundred’s of dollars to start your own collection of uniforms. start going through second hand and army surplus stores for various military garb. you will be amazed at the huge selection available. Don’t be afraid to wear a variation of some uniform, which may be more affordable and sexier. be careful not to wear a uniform of the local law enforcement out and about town (i.e. navy blue laPd uniform in los angeles) because you can be cited for imitating a la policeman. a suggestion is to wear a jacket over the uniform shirt as you walk from your car to the bar or party. most local uniform retailers will sell you any uniform, accessories and patches, but they cannot sew the patches on the uniform for you unless you show proper department identification. Your local tailor will be glad to sew the patches on for you. Don’t forget eBay as another resource as well. Want to learn more about the uniform fetish and want to socialize with like minded men, check out these two organizations: the Regiment of the Black & tans www.blackandtans.org; and California boots & breeches corp. www.bbcorps.com. Want to cruise and play with other uniform fetishists, march over to: www.Gearfetish.com and www.GearPlay.com.

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