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FISHHAWK RANCH HASH TRASH HashTrashbyHashScribe––TardaciousonJune16,2011

InspirationalQuote:  "Hashing is a state of mind Ͳ a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of relivingtheirchildhoodorfraternitydays,releasingthetensionsofeverydaylife,andgenerally,actinga fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."ͲStrayDog(KeeperoftheGlobalTrashHashBible)

FISHHAWKRANCHKENNELHHHRUN#009––ENDOFTHEWORLD!





 Hares:JohnKennerty(biking)&ChrisPinckney(running) Date:21May,2011 Time:17:30(5:30PMtoyouandme) RunReport:BlahBlahBlah ThisHashwastobeourReligiousAdvisor(RA),Mr.BeauDangle’’s,lastHashbeforeheshippedoffto AfghanistanforayearandthenmoveoutofFishhawkuponhisreturntohisnext““doody””station,soa firsttimeforourHash(butworldfamous)RedDressthemedrunwasinperfectorder.Wealsowanted


thisHashtohaveacharitycomponent,soinhonorofaformerMarinewholivesinFishhawkRanch(and wishes to remain nameless), who is fighting the ultimate battle against cancer, we decided to take unsoliciteddonationsandsellbumperstickersandputallthemoneyreceivedtowardsacheckforthe AmericanCancerSociety. H’’Eveissuedanemailflyer(providedbytheteamofDreamsicleͲDashhound)fortheninthHashtoall HashersaroundthebeginningofMay,announcingthedateof21Mayandthetheme/charity.TheRed Dresstheme,asstated,issomethingthatmanyH3’’sdoandmanydoitforcharity.SinceourRAwasso crucialinmakingthisH3sopopular(andweknewhewouldlooksohotinareddress),wewantedto sendhimoffwithabang.ItwastobeanAtoBrunagain(andwasmorelikeAtoX,butwe’’llgettothat later).  It was a pass the hat format, with suggested donations of $10 per Hasher, with $5 for beers before the run, along the trail and at the circle, along with the other $5 going to charity.  Of course, manypeopledonatedmuchmore!Nocorporatesponsors,buttheUpstairsBarworkedoutatwoͲforͲ one’’stoallHashersdealwithuspriortotherunandsetupabandaswell.Withallthat,theNinthHash RunfortheFishhawkRanchKennelHHHwasborn. TheMismanagementPositionswererevisedforthisNinthHashRunalittle,butwereproudlyhandled byHashprofessionals,andthefinalassignmentswereasfollows: CoͲGrandMasters:H’’Eve&Dashhound ReligiousAdvisor:Mr.BeauDangles Beermeister(s):Tardacious&Had’’em HashCash:Tardacious HashFlash:Dreamsicle HashHorn:Hedgehog HashScribe:Tardacious BeerWenches:PamMcClellan,GeorgianaPinckney,&LisaJohnson(Hashnamesplease!) ThisHashstartedoutatthehomeofoneoftheHares,ChrisPinckney,intheGardenDistrict,wherea great time was had by all, checking out everyone’’s attire and laughing at the variety of red ““dresses”” many attempted to squeeze into.  Also, it was noted that one slightly influential religious radio host predictedtheworldwouldendonthisdayandjudgmentdaywasuponus,soweallthoughtthatwas prettycool.Weweren’’tgoinganywhere,sowemightaswellgettorunning,drinkingandsinging!The run started out west on Palmettoclub Court, proceeding north on Palmettoside Street, then east on PalmettoglenCourttotheroundͲaboutatChurchsideDrive.NorthonChurchside,weswungcounterͲ clockwise around the roundͲabout at Fishhawk Crossing Blvd and that is where it got really messy. Nobodycouldfindthetrail,soHashersscatteredeverywherelookingforit.Finally,itwasfoundinthe alleywaynearmyhouseonPalmettoglenheadingsouthandwest,cutbackoutontoFishhawkCrossing north, then over onto Parkset Drive, going west again.  The trail cut through the gazebo park in the


Parksetarea,withafalsieonGrandLoneoakLane,puttingusnorthandwest,backontoParkset,where wecutthroughtheareaofMulberryParkandtoourFirstBeerCheck,parkedalongMulberryparkCircle. We weren’’t sure how we found this Beer Check, as the trail was not well marked, but we are some prettysmartHashersandfigureditout.Aftersome““shotguns””werehadduetoviolationsalongtherun (something new we hadn’’t done much of and a nice touch), we proceed west on Mulberrypark and downaroundthebigturnonParksetheadingwestandsoutheast.Aftersomeconfusionthroughthe woods along Parkset, we crossed Dorman, continuing south along Parkset and east on Bridgecrossing Drive.WewerethendirectedthroughthegrassyknollinthisareatoanalleybetweenBridgecrossing and the Aquatic Center along Parkset, to our Second Beer Check, in the alley.  After several DownͲ Downs,theHoundsweregettingrestless,withthelackoftrailinfoleftbytheHares.Weleftheading easttotheroundͲaboutneartheAcquaticCenter,northonFishhawkCrossingandthatiswherethetrail waslost.Itwasatoughdecisiontomake,butwiththelackoftrailmarkingsandtheproximitytowhat weknewtobetheultimateOnͲInnoftheUpstairsBar,weproceeded…………..well………………OnͲInn.Themasses stoodaroundParkSquarewondering whathadjusthappened, manynotknowingtheHashwaseven cutshortandseveralnotcaringeitherway(becauseitwassofͲinghot).NotsurehowlongthisHash ended up being, maybe 2 miles, but a true Hasher would have been sorely disappointed.  I however, welcomed the short Hash and was glad just to have a drink in my hand sooner than usual.  I assume thoughthattheHareswillendupgettingnamesoutofthisoneornotbeallowedtosetthetrailagain without some serious schooling.  Thanks anyway Hares for getting us OnͲInn and covering yourself in flour,butnotthesidewalk!;Ͳ) ThefinalcountofHashersforthisonewas78,ANOTHERNEWRECORD!!!!!!!Thatincluded29Virgins too,soanothergreatturnoutandtheHashistakingonalifeofitsown!AllhailtheHash! Being Hash Scribe, please remember, I TRY and record the history of the Hash, get all assigned (and somenot)HashNames,andthefunny(andnotͲsoͲfunny)crapthatspewsfromeveryone’’smouths.If youdon'tseeyourquotementionedonaHashyouraninthisTrashandintothefuture,don'tgetbent outofshape,itjustmeansyou'reatotallyinsignificanthumanbeingandnobodyremembersyou.Igot thisTrashoutprettylate,butwekeephavingthesedamnthingseverymonthnowanditshardtokeep up!Itookfairlygoodnotesthistime,mostlyaboutcrapIheardsecondhand,soalotofitwon’’thave anycontext,butwhoreallycaresanyway.Ontothenow,notͲsoͲfamousquotesandeventsofthe21 MayHash: x

TheCoͲGrandMasters,H’’EveandDashhound,gavetheopeningremarksfromthedrivewayof thestartinghouseandinformedeveryoneoftheHashrules.Wearestartingtogetgoodatthis though,somanyweren’’tpayingattention.

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DangleswaspresentedwithaHashnecklaceinscribedwithhishashnametoalwaysremember uswhileinAfghanistan.Whoknows,hemaystartakenneloverthere!

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TheReligiousAdvisor,Dangles,gaveusaveryspecialandwellrehearsedsendoff(showingoff forhisfamilywhowasintown)andthusbegantherun.

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TheFRB,Semenhole,proudlycarriedhiskegallofaboutoneblockbeforepeoplestartedtogive him help.  He also had a lighter than usual flak jacket on, so basically, he ignored all rules associatedwithhisstatus,buthegotoffwithminimalchastising,sogoodforhim!

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““Don’’tgetmefrombehind””(apicturebeingtaken,butfunnytohearintheseoutfits).

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““Youshoulddrinktheentirebeerfornutrientsandelectrolytes.””


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““BigShoes=BigFeet.””Guesswho.

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““Davewantsavelvetthong.””Really?

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““Iwenttocollege!””(afterdoingashotgun)Isthatwhatwewenttolearn?

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““Thisdresshasneverhadthisbadofacaseofcrotchrotinit.””

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Violations(orViotationsasIscribbled)wereBillHancockallowingabranchtoswinginH’’Eve’’s eye,alongwiththeFRBgettingkeghelp.DownͲdowntime,shotgunstyle.

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““Oznevergaveanythingtothetinmanthathedidn’’talreadyhave.””Ipresumeaheart.Ithink thatquotemayhavebeenstolen.Anyone?

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““Yougotaprettymouth!””Alsostolen.

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IbelievetheHaresendedupbeingtheDFL’’sinthisone,sincewealljustcutitshort.Wonderif thathaseverhappenedinHashhistory?Tothebible!

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Rule#1––Don’’trunneartheendingbar!

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ManDown!BarbieWirefellandbled(again).

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““Ericisgettingraped!””Ihopehe’’salright.

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““Smokinpolesweatissmokinpole.””Profound.Notsurewhatitmeansthough.

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““Mypenisinyourmouthistradition.””Don’’task.

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BarbieWiresaidaniceprayerinhonorofDanglesleavingandweallcried.Alittle.Well,not really.

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DanglesfinishedhisRAdutiesbymentioningallhissongs,includingtheeverpopularendingof ““Rollin,Rollin,Rollin””

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WegotanothergreatgroupphotoandtheHashofficiallyended(butonlythefirstphase).

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Iwrotenothingafterthatinmynotes,asIwasbusyenjoyingthe2for1deal,somedelicious Popeye’’schickenandtheawesomemusic,performedbyTheDistrictLithiaRocksattheUpstairs. IdidgetquiteafewemailsofpeoplewhowantedtogetinonthenextHash,soitjustkeeps growing.

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Weraised$700fortheAmericanCancerSociety!!!

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DressOffandI’’mOut.

TherewereNOofficialHashNamesgivenoutattheendofthisone.ScottRobbinshelpedSemenholea lot,so““TheEnabler””wasmentioned.DaveJennenmayhavebeensuggestedasEclipse,butIhaveno ideawhyIwrotethatdownorwhotoldmeto.Thatwasitthough,andagainnothingofficial,soyou guysmayhavetowait.Pleasedon’’tcry.Ihearmanyarecomingthough.Ifyougetone,it’’syourHash Name.Own it.Eventuallyeveryonemaygetoneifyoudosomethingstupidenoughorjustcometo enoughofthesewhereweseesomethingwelike(ordon’’tlike)aboutyou.Bepatient.


ThatisallIhadinmynotesand/orremember.Iwasn’’tasdrunkaspastHashes,justbecauseitwasso hotandtherunwassoshort,BUT,withthatmanyHashersandthemanyjobsItookonforthisone,I hardlyhadtimetoscribblethefirstbitofcrap.Ifyouwanttowhineaboutmemissingsomestuff,come seemeduringthenextHashandI’’lladdwhatyousaworheardtothenextTrash.Don’’tforgettolook forpicturesfromthisHashandyourRecedingHarelinesonourFacebookpageFishhawkHashHouse Harriersat:http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/FishHawkͲHashͲHouseͲHarriers.Also,be suretocheckouttheWorldHashHouseHarrierswebsiteathttp://www.gthhh.com/,whereyoucan createaloginandjoinaround24,000otherHashersaroundtheworldinconversationaboutthisgreat wayoflife.I’’llleaveyouwithapartinggiftofwisdomfromStrayDogͲ““Whenwewerekidsweranall thetimeandthoughtnothingofit.Wedidnotyetknowthatrunningwassupposedtobehardwork,so weranandhadfundoingit.””Let’’sstayyoung! OnOn Tardacious  


Fishhawk Ranch H3 - Red Dress Run