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FISHHAWK RANCH HASH TRASH Hash Trash by Hash Scribe – John Eveland on February 19, 2011

Inspirational Quote: "Hashing is a state of mind - a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor." - Stray Dog (Keeper of the Global Trash Hash Bible)

FISHHAWK RANCH KENNEL HHH RUN #006 – AMAZON INVASION

Hares: Mr. Beau Dangles (aka Dangles) & Liz Higgins (running) Date: 12 February, 2011 Time: 16:30 (4:30 PM to you and me) Run Report: Blah Blah Blah This Hash was all about a changing of the guard. With former Co-Grand Master H’Adam out of town on top secret assignment in the remote jungles of………Virginia Beach, and leaving town soon for another Duty Station (You said doody! Sorry, that makes me giggle every time.), the Co-Grand Master duties (there it is again!) were passed along to Dashhound. Oh, how we’ll miss your astute direction of the Hash, like a mad science experiment gone perfectly wrong and right at the same time! However, the


new Co-Grand Master, Dashhound, was also called away on doody (I’m just changing it to that now), thus throwing the Mismanagement into complete chaos! Also, Dangles decided to be a Hare for this one, since Dashhound, who loves being the Hare so much, was out, thus vacating the Religious Advisor doodies. Oh no, what to do? I’m not sure I can handle it! That’s where the women stepped in and took charge. Barbie Wire and Dreamsicle decided that they were sick of dingle-dangles dangling in the sand and took over as Co-Religious Advisors. Woman on woman, how hot! Sorry. With Dashhound out of town, H’Eve was taking on Grand Master doodies on her own, thus putting three women at the top Mismanagement Positions for the first time ever! What’s next, a female President? Let’s hope so Sarah! I love you Mrs. Palin! Once again, I digress. Dangles issued an email for the sixth Hash to all Hashers on 25 January, announcing the date of 12 February and the theme, VALENTINE’S DAY OR ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY. The theme was obvious with the timing, duh! What else could we do? It was also to be an A to B run, which I think we are all smitten with now. It was also a pass the hat format, with suggested donations of $5 per Hasher, getting you 3 to 4 beers along the trail. What a great deal! We also got another drink sponsor for this Hash, Anne St. John, with Premier Beverage (http://www.charmer-sunbelt.com/premier/Pages/Welcome.aspx) stepped up with Down-Downs for the On-Inn. Thanks Anne! With all that, the Sixth Hash Run for the Fishhawk Ranch Kennel HHH was born. A few other Mismanagement Positions were revised for this Sixth Hash Run. If you couldn’t follow all that above, the final assignments were as follows: Co-Grand Masters: H’Eve & Dashhound (absent) Co-Religious Advisors: Barbie Wire & Dreamsicle Beermeister(s): Dangles Hash Cash: Dangles Hash Flash: Dreamsicle Hash Horn: Arch McLellan Hash Scribe: Tardacus Beer Wenches: Georgian Pinckney and Pam McClellan (They even made bedazzled shirts for this one, do I smell Hash names coming soon?!) The trail started at a Hawk Park in Phase I of Fishhawk Ranch, where camp was set up near a gazebo just north of the park, with coolers full of cold beer, a cooler top to throw cash into and a circle of giant red hearts, pink galore and plenty of really cheesy/wonderful outfits. There was some good Down-Down’s being had, so you could tell this was going to be a great Hash. The trail started west on Hawkcrest Drive in the Hawk Wood neighborhood, south and west on Hawkridge Road. The Hashers seemed really


excited, yet oblivious to their surroundings, creating a mini traffic jam behind them shortly into this run. After what seemed like only a light jog, a BN shows up on the road and we got to our First Beer Stop, which was the Kennerty’s driveway, in Hawk Wood. Well that was quick, but welcomed, and they had a little table set up with a pool of mini plastic cups. What a nice sight! The little shots of beer were very easy going down too. Uh-oh! After a Down-Down or three/four, we were off. Back west on Hawkridge, turning south onto Hawkwood Court, we crossed west over Boyette Road on the fairly new ped-trail. A little SCB action going on at this turn, but too many people to name, so I’ll let it go. Along that stretch of trail next to the large power lines and through the wood, a nice little jaunt west, we turned south behind Kinglet Ridge (the townhome/condo complex south of Publix). Behind the homes in that neighborhood and turning west along the pond south of those homes, a great little run along the top of the pond bank where H’Eve and I had a nerdy conversation about control structures and mitered end sections. Not the time. Through the looping streets of Kinglet and out onto Hammock Crossing Drive, continuing west, we crossed Fishhawk Crossing Blvd (irony), creating a nice little traffic jam once again as cars stopped to laugh, point and wonder at the silly wave of red and pink Hashers. Weaving north and west on Hammock Crossing, a nice BN on the road, and almost to the end the road, our Second Beer Stop, a mobile one, with a truck full of coolers and Beer Wenches waiting for us all. Here, the Hash turned into a little party, where the Hashers appeared to be enjoying each other’s company and the beer more than the running part. After what seemed like a half hour or Down-Down’s, we headed south, around/over a gate/fence and a trek east, through a wooded area, crossing a stream over a small downed tree (nice find Hares!) and out onto Fishhawk Crossing Blvd. South on Fishhawk Crossing, we turned into the Dunlin Wood neighborhood (how swanky), east/south on Dunlinwood Lane, back south/west on Dunlindale Drive, crossing through the woods alongside the many large unsold/unfinished mansions, crossing Churchside Drive, back onto Fishhawk Crossing, then south through my neighborhood along the “grassy knoll” in the Garden District. Coming out south on Palmettoside Street, then turning west and south down the alley, and On Inn to the Razvillas’s back yard, ending where it started. Not sure how long this Hash was exactly, but as you can tell above it was all over the place, with a lot of turns through parts of the neighborhood many people had never been, so it was new and very, very good. Once again, not as many False Trails and YBF’s out there as some of the last Hashes, but a unique little run that only Dangles and Liz could lay out for us. Nice job Hares! The final count of Hashers was 39, with 8 Virgins, but I messed up and didn’t get the updated Hash Roster out last time (hence the name Tardacus), so we may have been missing some people that would have otherwise come. Not a bad turnout for a great, sunny and somewhat cool winter evening. Those that didn’t come missed a great surprise welcome back after party for Hash Horn Arch McLellan at the Pinckney’s house. All hail the Hash! Being Hash Scribe, please remember, I TRY and record the history of the Hash, get all assigned (and some not) Hash Names, and the funny (and not-so-funny) crap that spews from everyone’s mouths. If you don't see your quote mentioned on a Hash you ran in this Trash and into the future, don't get bent out of shape, it just means you're a totally insignificant human being and nobody remembers you. I got this Trash earlier than ever, so if I don’t remember anything in this one, there is something seriously wrong with me (don’t say a word about that H’Eve). On to the now, not-so-famous quotes and events of the 12 February Hash: •

There was small misunderstanding on the shuttle service from Park Square over to Hawk Park, but it was all worked out, with Brian Sandifer and Barbie Wire doing the shuttling doodies.


Dave Eiermann was provided a sign, which he proudly held in the parking lot of Park Square saying “for a good time call….”

The Co-Grand Master, H’Eve and Hare Dangles, gave the opening remarks from the gazebo area in Hawk Park and informed everyone of the Hash rules.

The Co-Religious Advisors changed the official Hash chant “Lordy Lordy Lordy”, into the female version “Lord My Boobs Are Bouncin!” Just awesome, very creative and great visuals!

The editor of the Osprey Observer was there for the run, so if we didn’t want to go public, it may be too late now! Please be gentle on our Drinking Club with a Running Problem.

Mike Vitali (aka Hamburglar Fairy) was the FRB from the last Hash (Holiday Hash), but was unavailable to run in this Hash since he is packing up and moving to J-Ville soon. Being a civilian, I am not sure if you would consider J-Ville his new doody station, being a Navy guy and all, but we will miss him just the same and wish him luck. You’ll always have a home in this Hash Mike, you sneaky bastard!

Some Hash names were hinted along the trail, a little too close to the Hash Scribe and thus, became official at the end. You’ll see.

“Man, she has a great ass for an older lady!”

H’Eve didn’t appreciate getting her ass whooped by the un-healthy Hash Scribe in this run and promptly caught up and passed her coughing and wheezing mate.

Dave Eiermann became the FRB of this Hash when he got behind, got lost and ended up wandering into the Raz’s backyard a little early. His multitude of excuses could not release him from his doody next Hash. Hello FRB and a new Hash name! Better start warming up to wear the flak jacket and carry a keg now!

Nothing like a cough syrup chaser after a 3 mile run?!

“I’m either gonna get laid or I’m gonna be holding her hair, but definitely one of the two!”

17 is legal in New York, in case you weren’t aware.

Ed Colihan brought over an awesome assortment of home brews. Do that again.

We looked up what a Harrier meant and it’s a dog, hence the people chasing the Hares are known as a pack, hence the running group is known as a Kennel! Amazing what Google can do!

“Nothing like wine cheese from Wisconsin!”

“You’ve completely changed my perception of you.”


The Sandifers left early to get a little “action”. If you consider “action” sleeping on the couch.

Uh, buh-bye now.

There were quite a few official Hash Names given out at the end of this one. The Hash Horn, Arch, was designated as Hedgehog. You figure out why. Bert Patterson was given the name Turtle. That one is easy. Tim Stell, in town from Syracuse, took a leak along the trail and got called out by his brother-inlaw, Ed Colihan, a little too close to me with the statement “You better watch out or they will call you Baby Bladder.” Tada! Tim, you are now Baby Bladder. Ed, due to his terrific running style, was provided the name Toy Story, looking like the T-Rex (hands up and out front) from that movie. Pam Sandifer got the name Windex from the Holiday Hash after “accidentally” running into a glass door at the Higgin’s house and leaving a significant face print. John Delacruz got the name Reach Around. I’m having trouble remembering why, but it was funny, I know that. Finally, Dave Eiermann, the FRB, would not stop complaining about being the FRB the entire night, thus earning the name Winy Bitch. Congrats Dave, you seemed so proud of that. That was it. Eventually everyone may get one if you do something stupid enough or just come to enough of these where we see something we like (or don’t like) about you. Be patient. That is all I had in my notes and/or remember. I was really drunk again this time and ran one of my best Hashes this time (probably because I wasn’t busy writing), so too bad if I didn’t add anything that you think was important. If you want to whine about it, come see me during the next Hash and I’ll add what you saw or heard to the next Trash. Don’t forget to look for pictures from this Hash and your Receding Harelines on our new Facebook page Fishhawk Hash House Harriers at: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/FishHawk-Hash-House-Harriers. On On


Feb Hash Trash