A Sympathetic Ear
Psychology Teacher
&
A
How did you begin volunteering with a crisis intervention hotline?
&
A
Who would you recommend to join this type of organization?
The average high school kid isn’t usually allowed now, but in college there are opportunities. The type of person who is involved in this work is an active listener, is open-minded, and empathetic.
Why did you stop working on the volunteer hotlines?
A
After about 10 years, it got hard and it got scary. It’s not like a stranger doing this. I did also work with police training in approaching a victim, and worked as an administrator for about five years after, but I stopped answering the phones.
&
A
What did you learn from this volunteer experience?
Something that I learned from this experience, was that men and boys are victims, too, not just women and girls. I also found that the attitude of the police and hospital personnel can make differences in the victim’s well-being. There were lots of different types of calls, everyone there was trained but none were specialist, so we had to know our limits and almost always offered the name of therapist the caller could see. Something else I did learn was that the victim of sexual assault loses control and needs to gain their sense of control as soon as possible – you never give an opinion to them, such as calling the police, whether to pursue criminal proceedings: it’s their choice.
“Abuse”: The Word From an Expert Rebecca Bernotas
in nov 24 2009
Abusers are typically hyper-aware of slights because their sense low selfesteem.
What do you know about domestic abuse? Are women are the only targets? Does it only happen to people of a certain ethnicity? School psychologist Rebecca Bernotas explains the answers.
A spouse may irrationally or immaturely expect a partner to behave, think or respond a certain way, increasing emotional tension.
buse could [happen to] anyone, any race, any gender,” said Rebecca Bernotas, Oakton’s school psychologist. “When I think about the few cases I’ve dealt with, they have spanned all grades, sexes, cultures. [There is no] one socioeconomic class or culture [affected] more than any others.” While abuse cases have may have only “come up a few times,” Bernotas is well aware of how abuse affects a student’s performance in school. “If [a student is] the victim of abuse, it’s obvi-
24
outlook in-depth
&
Q
I was in high school when I first started volunteering [at the Victim Assistance Hotline], around 17 or 18. I was the youngest there, and went through the training to take calls and worked eight-hours at a time in a nice room with a TV and phones. Sometimes we worked with a partner. One of the important things we learned was how to identify calls: sometimes the caller was just someone who needed a listener. If they appeared to be suicidal, however, we had to respond in a specific way.
Q
Feelings of guilt, rejection, inadequacy, disrespect, powerlessness, or of being disregarded and unloved can all lead to partner abuse.
Sue Anna Clark
Q
Believing that the loss of a relationship will ruin them, an abuser’s reaction will reflect that belief, even if it’s untrue. Some reactions lead to mental, physical or emotional abuse.
Psychology teacher Sue Anna Clark answers questions about her experience and memories of volunteering for a crisis intervention hotline
Q
Abusers generally have low selfesteem and little respect or compassion. When feeling threatened, they typically react with aggression and anger, to eliminate their own selfdoubt.
th
e -d p
School Psychologist
“A
ously going to affect them. If you’re being abused in any way,” Bernotas explained, “it’s going to affect every aspect of your life. You might be more stressed at school, making it harder to study, maybe making you have a harder time with your relationships— peers and teachers and school— making you more emotional.” While some students may show signs of abuse, victims don’t always show signs or step up and report a problem. Sometimes, they don’t need to. “If teachers notice, they might make a report to us. Sometimes friends of the students come in and say ‘I think my friend is being abused,’ or ‘I heard a rumor that my friend was [being abused].’ Sometimes it’s other students, sometimes it’s teachers, sometimes it’s even other parents calling in. There’s numerous ways.”