Page 1


THIS WEEK in this issue

DEC. 21 - DEC. 28, 2011 VOL. 22 ISSUE 49 ISSUE #1035

cover story

10

A BARFLY CHRISTMAS CAROL

15 A&E 37 CLASSIFIEDS

Wayne Bertsch follows up his “Barfly Bingo” feature from last year with a Christmas Carol-spoof involving Barfly, Jesus and a host of other local characters.

10 COVER STORY

BY WAYNE BERTSCH

39 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

news

24 FOOD

8

PARKER REMAINS AT PARTY HELM

06 HOPPE 27 MUSIC

A leadership flap after Dan Parker rescinded the resignation he issued last week has ruffled some Democratic feathers.

25 MOVIES

BY LESLEY WEIDENBENER

film

05 HAMMER

25

MERRY CHRISTMAS WITH NAZIS AND INCEST

08 NEWS 36 WEIRD NEWS

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is stylish and gripping. Be ready for some horrifying images, including a deeply-disturbing rape scene that manages to portray the nightmarish experience without feeling exploitative, a feat the original Swedish film trilogy could not (or did not want to) manage. BY ED JOHNSON-OTT

music

27

A LITTLE RAP, A LITTLE ROOTS

We’re featuring two artists this week. First up is Galen DeKemper’s preview of Thursday’s late night show at Cloud 9, featuring mixtape master 2Chainz. Next, Rob Nichols interviews the long-disbanded The Chevy Downs Band, who is reuniting for a holiday bash at Birdy’s on Friday.

from the readers Ok, already, we’ll say it

Say it! Say it! Say it! State Rep. Brian Hasler is a Democrat! (“Thumbs Down: Civil Servants Gone Wild,” Editors, Dec. 14-21) Had it been a Republican you’d have had no trouble “saying it.” Tired of a double standard,

Marie F., Indianapolis

Christmastime copy edit Rita Kohn’s statement “Returning for a second year as co-hosts” is incorrect.

(“Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra Yuletide Celebration,” Rita Kohn, Dec. 7-14.) Anne Hampton Callaway hosted Yuletide, in 2008, but never “co-hosted” the ISO’s Yuletide concerts with her sister, Liz Callaway… (and) “Be Home for Christmas” is in fact “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.”

David Stine INDIANAPOLIS

PS: This year’s extravaganza was by far the best ever, and was certainly worthy of a 5-star NUVO rating.

WRITE TO NUVO

Letters to the editor should be sent c/o NUVO Mail. They should be typed and not exceed 300 words. Editors reserve the right to edit for length, etc. Please include a daytime phone number for verification. Send e-mail letters to: editors@nuvo.net or leave a comment on nuvo.net.

STAFF

EDITOR & PUBLISHER KEVIN MCKINNEY // KMCKINNEY@NUVO.NET EDITORIAL // EDITORS@NUVO.NET MANAGING EDITOR/CITYGUIDES EDITOR JIM POYSER // JPOYSER@NUVO.NET NEWS EDITOR REBECCA TOWNSEND // RTOWNSEND@NUVO.NET ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR SCOTT SHOGER // SSHOGER@NUVO.NET MUSIC EDITOR KATHERINE COPLEN // KCOPLEN@NUVO.NET DIGITAL PLATFORMS EDITOR TRISTAN SCHMID // TSCHMID@NUVO.NET CALENDAR // CALENDAR@NUVO.NET FILM EDITOR ED JOHNSON-OTT COPY EDITOR GEOFF OOLEY CONTRIBUTING EDITORS STEVE HAMMER, DAVID HOPPE CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS WAYNE BERTSCH, TOM TOMORROW CONTRIBUTING WRITERS TOM ALDRIDGE, MARC ALLAN, JOSEFA BEYER, WADE COGGSHALL, SUSAN WATT GRADE, ANDY JACOBS JR., SCOTT HALL, RITA KOHN, LORI LOVELY, SUSAN NEVILLE, PAUL F. P. POGUE, ANDREW ROBERTS, CHUCK SHEPHERD, MATTHEW SOCEY, JULIANNA THIBODEAUX, CHUCK WORKMAN EDITORIAL INTERNS RACHEL HOLLINGSWORTH, JILL MCCARTER, SCOTT SCHMELZER AISHA TOWNSEND, JENNIFER TROEMNER

ART & PRODUCTION // PRODUCTION@NUVO.NET PRODUCTION MANAGER MELISSA CARTER // MCARTER@NUVO.NET SENIOR DESIGNER ASHA PATEL GRAPHIC DESIGNERS JARRYD FOREMAN, ANITRA HELTON

EDITORIAL POLICY: N UVO N ewsweekly covers news, public issues, arts and entertainment. We publish views from across the political and social spectra. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. MANUSCRIPTS: NUVO welcomes manuscripts. We assume no responsibility for returning manuscripts not accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed envelope. DISTRIBUTION: The current issue of NUVO is free. Past issues are at the NUVO office for $3 if you come in, $4.50 mailed. N UVO is available every Wednesday at over 1,000 locations in the metropolitan area. Limit one copy per customer. SUBSCRIPTIONS: N UVO N ewsweekly

4

letters // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

ADVERTISING/MARKETING/PROMOTIONS ADVERTISING@NUVO.NET // NUVO.NET/ADVERTISING DIRECTOR OF SALES AND MARKETING MARY MORGAN // MMORGAN@NUVO.NET // 808-4614 MARKETING COORDINATOR LAUREN GUIDOTTI // LGUIDOTTI@NUVO.NET // 808-4618 PROMOTIONS COORDINATOR BETH BELANGE // BBELANGE@NUVO.NET // 808-4608 CLASSIFIED SPECIALIST ADAM CASSEL // ACASSEL@NUVO.NET // 808-4609 ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE NATHAN DYNAK // NDYNAK@NUVO.NET // 808-4612 ACCOUNTS MANAGER ANGEL HANDLON // AHANDLON@NUVO.NET // 808-4616 ACCOUNTS MANAGER RYAN STROBLE // RSTROBLE@NUVO.NET // 808-4607 ADMINISTRATION // ADMINISTRATION@NUVO.NET BUSINESS MANAGER KATHY FLAHAVIN // KFLAHAVIN@NUVO.NET CONTRACTS SUSIE FORTUNE // SFORTUNE@NUVO.NET IT MANAGER T.J. ZMINA // TJZMINA@NUVO.NET DISTRIBUTION MANAGER CHRISTA PHELPS // CPHELPS@NUVO.NET COURIER DICK POWELL DISTRIBUTION DEANNA “NIKKI” ADAMSON, MEL BAIRD, LAWRENCE CASEY, JR., BOB COVERT, MIKE FLOYD, MIKE FREIJE, BETH INGLEMAN, STEVE REYES, HAROLD SMITH, BOB SOOTS, RON WHITSIT DISTRIBUTION SUPPORT DICK POWELL HARRISON ULLMANN (1935-2000) EDITOR (1993-2000)

is published weekly by NUVO Inc., 3951 N. Meridian St., suite 200, Indianapolis, IN 46208. Subscriptions are available at $99.99/year and may be obtained by contacting Kathy Flahavin at kflahavin@ nuvo.net. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to NUVO, inc., 3951 N. Meridian St., suite 200, Indianapolis, IN 46208. Copyright ©2011 by N UVO, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction without written permission, by any method whatsoever, is prohibited. ISSN #1086-461X

MAILING ADDRESS: 3951 N. Meridian St., Suite 200, Indianapolis, IN 46208 TELEPHONE: Main Switchboard (317)254-2400 FAX: (317)254-2405 WEB: http://www.nuvo.net


HAMMER The classiest Pacers player ever

Clark Kellogg will guide new players well

T

BY STEVE HAMMER SHAMMER@NUVO.NET

he best Christmas gift a weary and downtrodden Indianapolis will receive is the start of the NBA season on Dec. 26, bringing a winning sports team back to the city after the most hapless season in Indianapolis Colts history. Even non-fans should acknowledge that the Indiana Pacers have the ingredients of a good-to-great team this year. Their young lineup should have the stamina to weather a schedule that packs nearly an entire season’s worth of games into five months. They may, in fact, have the most talented Pacers team in almost a decade. Even if they didn’t, though, the Pacers should still command the respect and loyalty of every resident of Indianapolis. It was the Pacers’ successes in the early 1970s that led to the construction of Market Square Arena, which anchored the revitalization of downtown and showed that using pro sports as economic stimulus made good business sense. With no Market Square, there might have been no Hoosier Dome, no Circle Centre Mall, certainly no Conseco Fieldhouse or Lucas Oil Stadium and probably no downtown renaissance. A generous soul might even credit the Pacers with saving downtown Indianapolis. More than that, the Pacers have nurtured and honored their history and traditions. Conseco Fieldhouse is a living museum dedicated to the evolution of the Pacers from the mid-1960s until now, chock full of memorabilia from its humble beginnings in the American Basketball Association to the team’s near-destruction in the Great Detroit Battle of 2004. The Pacers have not yet won an NBA championship; playing in the same division as Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls didn’t help; nor did the rise of the New York Knicks in the mid-1990s. The Los Angeles Lakers with Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal derailed the team’s only chance at a title in 2000. But there have been enough exciting moments in the team’s history to make up for that. Their ABA team, powered by the muscle of George McGinnis, the grace of Roger Brown and the scrappiness of Billy Keller, brought championship banners to the team’s original home at the Indiana State Fairgrounds Coliseum.

And no Pacers fan will ever forget Reggie Miller scoring eight points in the same number of seconds against the Knicks, or, even better, his shoving Jordan out of the way and making a game-winning three. Naming the Pacers’ greatest player often leads to heated debate. Miller and McGinnis would top most lists. But the team’s classiest player isn’t up for debate. Clark Kellogg deserves that honor by acclamation. As a first-round pick out of Ohio State in 1982, he averaged a double-double and was on his way to a Hall of Fame career until knee problems forced his premature retirement. He didn’t have the skills of Jordan or the swagger of Bryant, but he had an understated grace and brilliance, a quiet determination that nobody who saw him play will ever forget. He almost never made a mental mistake on the court. He was a player’s player, as poised and elegant as a 6-foot-7 man can be. For the past 22 years, he’s been an analyst on Pacers television broadcasts and was even better behind the mic than he was as a player. He never made a mental mistake on the air, either. He was just simply the best pure analyst of the game in the business. He never hogged the mic and he always let the action on the court speak for itself. Unlike many of his peers, Kellogg has always been a role model in his behavior and actions. A family man with a strong Christian faith, he’s always led by example and never found himself in any personal scandal. Even when playing one-on-one with a trash-talking Barack Obama at the White House, as he did for CBS, he managed to be graceful, respectful and dignified. If he ran for governor or senator from Indiana, he’d probably win. If personal morality and honesty were the qualifications, he’d definitely win. Last week brought the sad news that he’s stepping away from his broadcasting position with the team in order to devote his full attention to his job as vice president for player relations for the Pacers. It is a massive loss for the fans but a bonus for the team. The Pacers’ young players will have a true role model and mentor available to guide and develop them. For all his contributions to the franchise, and to allow the fans to show their appreciation for his nearly 30 years of service to the Pacers, his No. 33 jersey should be retired and a banner hoisted to the rafters, immortalizing him as one of the all-time greats on and off the court. It would be a fitting tribute to the classiest man on one of the classiest franchises in sports. Meanwhile, it’s time to play ball. Merry Christmas and go Pacers! „

Kellogg has always been a role model in his behavior and actions.

*7:-,'

V]^WVM\\QUM]KS [

Timesuck

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // hammer

5


HOPPE Home from Iraq

Our denial continues

T

BY DAVID HOPPE DHOPPE@NUVO.NET

he Iraq war, we are told, is over. American troops are coming home. It’s been almost 10 years since President George W. Bush informed the nation that our military might was on its way to take down Saddam Hussein, free the Iraqi people and make the world safe from attack by Saddam’s “weapons of mass destruction.” The country, still recovering from the shock of terrorist attacks in September 2001, lurched into step behind the president’s drumbeat. Not everyone got in line. Indianapolis Congresswoman Julia Carson bucked the war-making tide by voting against the resolution to make war on Iraq. Thousands of people took to the streets in anti-war protests. But the media, overheated with war fever, paid little attention. Soon the Iraq war became like a kind of national wallpaper. It was there, in the background of our lives, but rarely the focus. There have been reasons for this. For one thing, the war has dragged on for

6

almost a decade, making it one of the longest wars the United States has ever fought. And the nature of the conflict made it hard to follow. Apart from the Surge, there were no battles, or “theaters” of operations, nothing, really, for the folks at home to follow on maps. Most of the time, it wasn’t even clear who the enemy was. American troops found themselves caught in a web of rival religious sects and competing tribes, trying to impose order on what appeared to be a civil war. It didn’t help that it was soon discovered that the weapons of mass destruction, or WMD as they came to be known, didn’t really exist. No one wanted to handle the idea that a president of the United States would use a bald-faced lie as pretext for doing something as serious as sending men and women to war. But that’s what happened. By the time national elections rolled around in 2004, it was obvious that American troops were in Iraq under false pretenses. You’d think this would have been enough to lose President Bush the election — that, surely, if there was one thing Americans of all political persuasions could agree on, it was to demand basic honesty from their leaders. Americans chose denial instead. The lie proved to be too big for people to face it down. Bush won, the war went on. Indeed, when, in 2005, the Downing Street Memo documented the fact that the Bush Administration had lied about its rea-

news // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

sons for going to war in Iraq, the news was greeted by a collective shrug. It wasn’t that Americans forgave the lie at the heart of the war in Iraq. It was actually worse than that. We simply gave in to it. Was this because we felt powerless, cut off from our own government and its politics? At the very least, we were disconnected from one of the foundation stones upon which our government stands: the military. The war in Iraq demonstrated the dark side of our reliance on a volunteer fighting force. During the Vietnam War — the last time we had a draft — anyone over the age of 18 could find himself with a letter from Selective Service, demanding he show up for a physical in advance of being pressed into uniform. The existence of the draft did not prevent the war in Vietnam and, as its name suggested, it was far too selective. With the right connections, it was easy to get a deferment. But the draft created a multi-generational backlash against the Vietnam War

that contributed to mounting pressure to bring troops home. Iraq has made it clear that ending the draft let government policymakers off the hook. The volunteer service has made it easier to use war as an instrument of foreign policy because it has made war something that’s waged by other people, our professional military. As long as we had a draft, we had “citizen soldiers.” War was a shared sacrifice affecting you, your friends and neighbors. Although 1.5 million Americans have served in Iraq, their experience there has been compartmentalized by their voluntary service. How else can one explain Americans’ passivity, a kind of denial, regarding a war that dragged on for years, required repeated tours of duty by exhausted service members and, instead of victory, ended in withdrawal? It’s tempting to ignore that now. The troops are coming home, and that’s enough. But unless we can shake the collective kinds of denial that sent them to war in the first place, then kept them there, it’s a matter of time before they’re sent away again. „

It wasn’t that Americans forgave the lie at the heart of the war in Iraq. It was actually worse than that. We simply gave in to it.


GADFLY

by Wayne Bertsch

UPCO UP COMI CO MING MI NG CON ONCE CERT CE RTS RT S: S:

Friday, Dec. 23rd HAIKU NEWS by Jim Poyser

nearly half U.S. in poverty, low income? a senseless census Iraq war will end when criminals Bush, Cheney, are brought to justice methane bubbling in Arctic Sea is tipping point’s manifest-iny Ohio vet gets redress for docs turning him into towel rack I hope the woman beheaded for sorcery planted a curse first Lowe’s choice to pull ads from TLC is do-ityourself self destruct migratory birds crash landing in Utah ARE the sky falling down poverty, hunger on the rise; thank goodness the rich are protected Netherlands to stop selling pot to foreigners — dude, what a buzzkill! Russell Hoban dead but his ‘Riddley Walker’ will never stop thrilling

GOT ME ALL TWITTERED!

Follow @jimpoyser on Twitter for more Haiku News.

THOUGHT BITE By Andy Jacobs Jr. Parties are such sweet sorrow.

THUMBSUP THUMBSDOWN THE LEGACY OF WAR

As we celebrate the homecoming of U.S. troops stationed in Iraq, we must remember the baggage they’ll be carrying for years to come just as a generation of soldiers before them continue to suffer — and fight the government. A $10 million federal infusion promises to bolster research on Gulf War Illness — a complicated condition with multiple and varied symptoms. But some veterans worry that a Dec. 31, 2011 deadline to report health problems related to that war will leave people with misdiagnosed or ignored cases of GWI or post-traumatic stress disorder to fester as suicides and deteriorating health continue to chip away at their ranks. Some estimates peg the number of suicides by veterans at 18 per day.

Zeke and the Geeks Located Above Taps & Dolls

247 S Meridian St., Indianapolis, 46225 Hours: Thurs - Sat: 7pm - 3am Thurs - Sat: DJ

MERRY MEDITATION

Lest the peace and joy underpinning the holidays be swept away in a frenzied commercial orgy, a global effort to “exude an inner peace, strength and happiness” is underway. A coordinated act of public meditation will commence on Thursday, the evening of Winter Solstice, in more than 250 cities worldwide — including Indianapolis. MedMob: Indianapolis is part of a global, peace-centered movement that uses public meditation to introduce the broader community to the slowing-down process of finding inner and communal peace. Shoppers at Circle Centre Mall may find themselves breathing a bit easier this Thursday as mindful mediators spread throughout the building to manifest their tiding of comfort and joy. To participate, visit MedMobIndy on Facebook or call 317-500-4601.

SUPER BOWL AS MORAL ENFORCER

Apparently it takes a whole battalion of hefty guys running into each other for our state to question its stance on sex trafficking laws (or smoking policies, for that matter). But, given the expected up-tick in demand for sex of all flavors — including loathsome — the big game is expected to bring, state officials are working to close loopholes in Indiana law that allow some trafficking crimes to go unprosecuted. Sen. Randy Head, R-Logansport, announced last Friday that he would sponsor legislation to accomplish the needed changes. Backed by Gov. Mitch Daniels and Indiana Attorney General Greg Zoeller, Head hopes to expedite the changes through the General Assembly so that they will be enforceable by the Super Bowl. No matter what the impetus, we’re glad to see progress.

247 S. Meridian St.

(2nd floor, next to Crackers Comedy Club)

638-TAPS

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // news

7


news Parker remains at party helm

Leadership flap ruffles some Democratic feathers BY L E S L E Y W E ID E N B E N E R E DI T O RS @N U V O . N E T

I

ndiana Democrats acknowledged Monday they face a significant challenge trying to unite the party in time for the important 2012 elections after a messy leadership squabble over the weekend left key officials divided. Some members of the party’s central committee said they are frustrated about a three-hour, closed-door caucus that was supposed to lead to the election of a new chairman. Instead, the committee voted narrowly to reinstate long-time leader Dan Parker, who had resigned the position last week only to rescind the request just hours before the caucus.

“ … Parker said last week it’s time for new leadership and suddenly he is the new leadership.” — Andy Downs, director of the Mike Downs Center for Politics at IndianaPurdue Fort Wayne

“Some people in the state are very upset with the leadership of the party and are very upset with the way the entire vote was handled,” said Garrett Webb, a member of the Indiana Democratic Central Committee who participated in Saturday’s caucus and supported another candidate for chairman. “It’s going to be very difficult to achieve” party unity. But Mike Jones, a central committee member and chairman of the party’s 6th District, said that while the process was “flawed” and left a rift among officials, members can put aside their differences and focus on what matters: winning races in 2012. “I know I’m going to do everything I can,” Jones said Monday. “I’m hoping what’s going to come out of this is that the committee members — the district chairs and vice

onnuvo.net 8

chairs — will soon have more say and more input into the daily direction of the party.” Jones and Webb were among the central committee members who supported electing Joel Miller, a Marion County Democrat, to be the party’s new chairman. Miller was thought to have enough support among the party’s 18 district chairs and vice chairs — who are charged with picking the party’s leader — to win the job. But the candidates for statewide office — namely former Indiana House Speaker John Gregg, who is running for governor, and U.S. Rep. Joe Donnelly, who is running for U.S. Senate — preferred another candidate. And when it became obvious late last week that their pick, Tim Jeffers, couldn’t win a majority of votes, the candidates decided they’d ask Parker to stay on. So instead of the 18 district chairs and vice chairs voting on a new chairman, the full central committee — 30 members — voted narrowly to let Parker rescind his resignation. “The candidates asked Dan Parker to stay. They didn’t think it was in their best interest to switch horses midstream,” said Dean Boerste, a member of the Democratic National Committee and the state’s central committee. “And I think if that’s what our 2012 candidates wanted, if that’s what they thought could help them win, we should respect that.” Andy Downs, director of the Mike Downs Center for Politics at Indiana-Purdue Fort Wayne, said the resulting division among members could be a problem for Democrats as they enter 2012, when the races for governor, senator, Congress, the state legislature and president are on the ballot. “If the Republicans are smart, they’re going to be pointing out that Parker said last week it’s time for new leadership and suddenly he is the new leadership,” said Downs, who is active in Democratic politics in Allen County. “That means the Democratic Party can’t agree on what or who their leadership should be. That might mean the party is in disarray.” But Downs said the latter doesn’t have to be true. If Democratic leaders across the state — particularly in larger counties including Marion, Vanderburgh, Lake, St. Joseph and Allen counties — were to come together to announce support for Parker, they could likely erase many of the ill feelings, he said. “The transition of power can always be messy but it doesn’t necessarily mean there is disarray,” Downs said. “It can be a sign of a strong party, a diverse party.” Robin Winston, a former Democrat state party chairman, said the key will be for Democrats to remember what matters most — not some family infighting but the struggle to protect Hoosier workers and families. He said it would be up to Parker and other key leaders to rise above the squabbling. “There were times when I was chairman that I had people in the room who didn’t like one another or who didn’t like me,” Winston said. “But we appealed to them on a larger issue. It might have been funding full-day kindergarten or putting more police on the streets or whatever the bigger

/NEWS

„ Daniels backs statewide smoking ban by Megan Banta

news // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

PHOTO BY LESLEY WEIDENBENER

Indiana Democratic Party Chair Dan Parker at a news conference last week announcing his resignation.

issue was facing us. “But it is the hardest thing to do, to take people who do not like one another and insist they work together on the bigger issue because the bigger issues are what matters.” Parker was not available Monday for an interview about his decision to remain as chairman and was traveling in northwest Indiana, talking with local party leaders. But he said through email that he felt “honored to be approached by party leaders to stay in my position.” “What happened this weekend happens from time to time in any family and we’ll be stronger for it in the long run,” Parker said. “We’re all Democrats, and I look forward to continuing my service to the party.” Some members said the key to strengthening the party would be giving more voice to its local leaders. Boerste supported Parker’s reinstatement but said he could see why other central committee members were upset. Many entered Saturday’s caucus with little idea why Parker first resigned and why they would no longer have the opportunity to vote on a new chairman. “These people on the committee felt they were blindsided,” Boerste said. “They don’t want to see it happen that way again. They have a right to know what’s going on.” Jones and Webb said they are hopeful that Parker and other party leaders will be more communicative in the future. But Jones said it’s also up to committee members to insist on input. “I’m confident we sent our message,” Webb said. “I have every hope that more people will be brought into the decisionmaking process. But I’m not going to count my chickens before they hatch.” „ Lesley Weidenbener is an editor at TheStatehouseFile.com, an Indiana news website powered by students from the Franklin College Pulliam School of Journalism.

„ Right-to-work redux at the Statehouse by Samm Quinn and Lesley Weidenbener

„ Archeology of homelessness by Nathan Brown

A brief anatomy of the Indiana Democratic Party’s Central Committee Dan Parker, chair

Cordelia Lewis-Burks, vice chair Sofia Rodriguez Mirwaldt, secretary Sherrianne Standley, treasurer Deputy chairs: Mike Brown, Dora May Abel and Vicky Haire Finance chair: Shawn Mullholland Democratic National Committee members Dean Boerste, Ann Bochnowski, Steve Crane and Mo Davison 1st District: Jeff Chidester, chair; Michelle Fajman, vice chair 2nd District: Mike Schmuhl, chair; Zanzer Anderson, vice chair 3rd District: Carmen Darland, chair; Herb Anderson, vice chair 4th District: Jeff Fites, chair; Kathy Altman, vice chair 5th District: Keith A. Clock, chair; Julia Lewis, vice chair 6th District: Mike Jones, chair; Julia Wickard, vice chair 7th District: Lacy Johnson, chair; Mary Jane Mahern, vice chair 8th District: Anthony Long, chair; Mary Lou Terrell, vice chair 9th District: Wayne Vance, chair; Jeanette Hackman, vice chair Indiana Young Democrats: Interim President (one-half voting member) Garrett Webb; Vice President (one-half voting member); Kyle Grubbs Indiana Stonewall Democrats Representative: Lori Morris Indiana Latino Democratic Caucus Representatives: Claudia Fuentes and William Marquez Indiana College Democrats Representatives: Evan Thompson and Andre Adeyemi

„ Indiana courts caseload climbs in 2010 by Franklin College Pulliam School of Journalism

„ Greater scrutiny of Duke, IURC requested by Leigh DeNoon


Do You Snore? or have Sleep Apnea and Hate your CPAP machine?

WE CAN HELP! If you are a snorer or sleep with someone who is, you may be interested in talking to us about a dental appliance that can eliminate the noise and save your life. Call us today 317-644-6324 to ask us about a custom made appliance that can provide a peaceful solution to your noisy nights. Also, CALL US TODAY if you suspect you might have Sleep Apnea or have been looking for an alternate to your CPAP.

317-291-7550 Exam, x-rays and snore appliance

$139 (Save $320) Exam, x-rays and sleep apnea appliance

$650 (Save 890)

317-644-6324 • www.indysmiles.com


10

cover story // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER


LIQUOR CABINET

LIMITED AVAILABILITY! RESERVE YOUR KEG!

BUD, BUD LIGHT KEGS!!!

$69.99 Cash!!

+ $4.00 Tax + $58.00 Tub/Tap Deposit + 30.00 Keg Deposit = $166.89

Return all (Keg,Tap,Tub) and receive deposit back, $88.00. Total Cash-$78.00. keg prices good until the end of 2011!

Belvedere-1/2 Gallon, $47.99! Modelo-12oz 24 pk Cans, $19.99! Hennessy-1/2 Gallon, $57.99!

4201 N. Post Road • 317.899.4233 Prices Good For This Location Only


12

cover story // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER


100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // cover story

13


go&do

For comprehensive event listings, go to nuvo.net/calendar

PHOTO BY PAUL F. P. POGUE

21

WEDNESDAY:

Pur | The Company @ Room 929

PHOTOS & STORY BY PAUL F. P. POGUE I’m backstage at Room 929 in Broad Ripple, where the members of Pur | The Company are wrapping up after a blowout performance. And glitter … is … everywhere. “I think glitter might literally be in my blood!” remarks troupe leader Jenee’ Michele . It’s not just glitter littered about the space, but other distinctive hallmarks of burlesque — feathers, rhinestones, fishnets and martini glasses — that need to be packed up before calling it a night. “It’s like Hurricane Andrew went through the stage!” Michele says. “But to me, that shows we’ve had a successful evening. I get to go home knowing we created something really cool and interesting.” Possibly the best thing about the burlesque movement that has swept through Indy is its variety. Every group has its own unique take on the form. Michele describes her style as “nouveau burlesque,” which is characterized by highenergy, stage-based choreography in the vein of the Pussycat Dolls or the Christina Aguilera-starring film Burlesque. “I come by burlesque honestly,” Michele says. “I started dancing in high school and worked as a Las Vegas showgirl. I’d go to school all day and work the casino at night.

onnuvo.net

/BLOG

I left dance eventually, thinking that I just couldn’t do it forever. I’ve seen 35-year-old showgirls, and it’s hard on the body.” But last year, she got caught up in audience participation at a burlesque show, which led to work alongside Crème de le Femmes and Angel Burlesque. Now she teaches burlesque classes several times a week, assembles pinup photography events, and performs with her principal dancers, Courtney Gunter and Erin Lamb, and group routines featuring her recent students. Pur has only been around a few months, but has already racked up an impressive series of appearances at venues like Room 929 (essentially their home stage), Blu Nightclub, 45 Degrees and The Jazz Kitchen. “What hooks me the most about this is taking everyday women and turning them into something very glamorous,” Michele says. “Everybody deserves to have a piece of that. It doesn’t belong to Hollywood elites or reality TV. I love watching my girls come into the studio thinking, ‘Oh my god, what am I doing?’ and walking out with a whole new sense of confidence.” Gunter, who’s been dancing in tap, jazz and ballet since she was 4 years old, was one of Michele’s earliest recruits. “I carry myself a different way,” Gunter says. “This has been very good for me. We as women tend to get run down; we put everybody else’s needs before ours. Burlesque belongs just to us. You have that one hour where you’re so empowered.” Lamb, co-owner of a dance studio and veteran Latin dancer, says it’s important that there be a dance performance opportunity for adults: “I see so many studios where there’s

„ Remembering Prince Julius Adeniyi by Rita Kohn „ Boone County Fairgrounds race wrap-up by Robert Annis

little recitals for 12-year-olds, and that’s it. For women, there’s not always an option for dance. This gives us something beyond the recital. Without this, it’d just be me dancing in my living room. I like dancing and choreographing and being just a little bit naughty.” Gunter points out that the up close and personal aspect of burlesque, with performers often just a few feet away from the audience, creates a dynamic she hadn’t found elsewhere while performing: “I’m used to being way up on stage, with a distance between me and the audience, but in this you’re right up people’s faces. That was nerve-wracking for me at first, but now it’s like acting out a character and getting very playful. I love it. I don’t think I could go back to dancing on a stage.” “You get a good sense of being able to play with the audience,” Michele says. “You can interact more. We do a lot of that, which I think the audience appreciates. It brings them into the story.” She’s particularly proud that, even with frequent performances scattered throughout the month, no two Pur shows are the same: “There might be one or two numbers we’ve done before, but we always pair them with completely new stuff. That’s part of the challenge for me and the girls. Nobody wants to see the same show several times.” So what exactly is the story, the overall theme you’re trying to get across, I ask. Everyone turns and points at Michele with such synchronicity I half suspect they planned it. She gives a “What, ME?” smile and gets to it: “We’re very much about the mystery, the choreography and trying to really transport the audience. In today’s reality, people just don’t have the money to go to Vegas. We think

„ Indiana Cyclocross Championship wrap-up by Robert Annis „ ‘New Harmony Then & Now’ review by Rita Kohn „ WICR and Met Opera kerfuffle by Scott Shoger

Left: The PUR crew performs at Room 929. Right: PUR leader Jenee’ Michele.

of ourselves as a great alternative to hopping a plane to New York or Vegas. We’re by no means straight-up professional dancers, but we’re not trying to be. There’s something very empowering about the group numbers. It’s a crazy sisterhood, and there’s something really cool about seeing the girls pull it together and nail their choreography. They maybe didn’t grow up dancing, they’re single moms or working two jobs, but god love ’em, they make this happen.” Empowerment. That theme comes up again and again in discussions of burlesque, and for good reason. “It’s like there’s something innate in women that this taps into,” Laura Breece, another of Michele’s students, says. “There’s a definite energy in the classes. Every single woman comes out feeling like they can roar and do anything.” “It’s all about taking care of yourself,” Lamb says. “Carving some time out of our weeks for ourselves and to do something just for us. It’s like RuPaul says, ‘If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love anybody else?’ ” Burlesque fans will have a double shot of action tonight: aside from Pur’s Room 929 performance, details below, Crème de les Femmes performs at the “Evening of Holiday Delight” show at Birdy’s at 9 p.m., admission $5 ($4 with a canned good.) Dec. 21, 10 p.m., $5 929 Westfield Blvd., 252-2600, therippleinn.com

/ PHOTOS

„ Naptown Roller Girls: Bout 2 by Stacy Kagiwada

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // go&do

15


GO&DO especially after Charlie has imbibed far too much Fizzy Lifting Drink for his own good.

A Very Phoenix Xmas 6: Our Goose Is Cooked We awarded four stars to the

Phoenix’s annual holiday spectacular

(Dec. 21-22, 7 p.m.; Dec. 23, 8 p.m.), praising Kyle Ragsdale’s contributions as scenic designer, Bryan Fonseca and Lori Raffel’s helms-personship as curators of the production and the mixed bag of skits, which touch on topics including Santa’s elves (now on strike), the economy of Christmas, interfaith families and horny reindeer.

ISO’s Yuletide Celebration

Juggling with the ISO.

We’ll cede the floor to Rita Kohn for her take on the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra’s annual monthlong Yuletide Celebration (Dec. 21-23, 2 and 7:30 p.m.): “The multitude of costumes glitter, the choreography zings and the company of singers and dancers are energized. It’s a fun time all around.” Plus, there are dancing Santas and songs by co-hosts Liz and Ann Hampton Callaway .

A holiday omnibus As one might expect, there’s not a whole lot going on this week that might populate an event calendar. Your Christmas parties, your Festivals of Lights, your non-denominational giftgiving ceremonies, your feats of strength; they’re all well and good, but they don’t really fill this space. So we’re going to bring back a few events previously mentioned in the paper, figuring you might find the reminders somehow helpful.

A Christmas Carols That’s right; there are two of them. The Indiana Repertory Theatre’s A Christmas Carol (Dec. 21, 7 p.m.; Dec. 22, 6 p.m.; Dec. 23, 7 p.m.; Dec. 24, 1 and 4 p.m.) finds, according to us, “the right balance between Victorian dignity, Gothic moodiness and a playful stage physicality.” For unfettered invention, check out

ComedySportz’s A Christmas Carol, Unscripted (Dec. 23, 10 p.m.), which

uses the structure of Dickens’ tale while making alterations to increase the humor quotient, like turning Tiny Tim into a fat kid.

Willy Wonka Check out Katelyn Coyne’s review (pg. 21) of the Booth Tarkington Civic Theatre’s production of Willy Wonka (Dec. 21-23, 7 p.m.), which runs through Jan. 6 at the Center for the Performing Arts in Carmel . The Wonkavator is evidently a sight to see,

The Beef & Boards crew.

A Beef & Boards Christmas B&B’s annual variety show (Dec. 21-22, 1 and 8 p.m.; Dec. 23, 8 p.m.) is musical theater comfort food, says Lisa Gauthier Mitchison in a three-star review: “After my two-year motherhood sabbatical, coming back to Beef & Boards’ Christmas show was like spending an evening with an old friend. Instead of themes and shtick, this variety show presents what it does best: solid vocals, elegant dancing (choreographed by Doug King) and exquisite costumes (Jill Kelly).”

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // go&do

17


GO&DO 22

THURSDAY

Memorial to Christopher Hitchens @ Center for Inquiry-Indiana

The mission of the Center for InquiryIndiana is to “foster a secular society based

on science, reason, freedom of inquiry and humanist values.” Christopher Hitchens, who died Thursday at age 62 as a result of a complication of esophageal cancer, espoused similar values during his life, particularly in polemical studies concerning atheism (2007’s God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything) and Mother Teresa (1995’s The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice), whom he called “a fanatic, a fundamentalist and a fraud.” He was good for similar quotes on subjects ranging from British

23

literature to the Iraq war (which he steadfastly supported), often on chat shows where he perennially looked as if he had risen from a cot and hooked on a Lavalier without stopping to comb his hair or fix his tie. Serra Head and Adam Crane Hitchens looking doúr. of CFI-Indiana will celebrate his legacy Thursday with a program of audio and video clips of Hitchens; attendees are invited to share their favorite Hitchens quotes as well. Dec. 22, 7 p.m., free 350 Canal Walk, Ste. A, 423-0710, centerforinquiry.net/indy

24

FRIDAY

Cathy Morris and Woomblies

SATURDAY

Christmas Eve Sing-a-long

@ the Rathskeller

@ Chatterbox Jazz Club

Party band The Woomblies, whose song list ranges from ZZ Top to The Commodores to Violent Femmes and back, has been working with electric violinist Cathy Morris these past few months to give a fresh spin on the hard rock catalogue. Morris has been trying out other new settings in the recent past; for instance, playing alongside soul singer Jennie DeVoe and the Indianapolis Chamber Orchestra in November. The Woomblies and Morris pair up this weekend for a Christmas show at The Rathskeller’s Kellersaal Ballroom; expect the traditional carols, along with a few surprises.

Jane Pozek will keep things lively well into the night on Christmas Eve at the Chatterbox, leading a sing-a-long on the piano for the club’s faithful.

Dec. 24, 8:30-11:30 p.m. 435 Massachusetts Ave., 636-0584, chatterboxjazz.com

WHAT YOU MISSED

Dec. 23, 9 p.m.- midnight, $5 401 E. Michigan St., 636-0396, rathskeller.com

26

MONDAY

Free admission @ YMCA

FREE

From Monday, Dec. 26, through Saturday, Dec. 31, friends and family of YMCA members are encouraged to visit all YMCAs of Greater Indianapolis free of charge. Don’t take this as an endorsement — or the opposite of an endorsement either — but we like to alert readers to free things whenever possible, and gyms, well, they’re not always so cheap. Consider it a Christmas gift — although, like the JCC, the YMCA prefers to refer to itself by its acronym these days, since some folks are excluded from a Young Men’s Christian Association. Dec. 26-31, hours and locations vary 266-9622, indymca.org

18

go&do // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

PHOTO BY STACY KAGIWADA

Ra-Jen Red looks on as her Tornado Sirens slaughter Toronto’s CN Power, 266-67, at the Pepsi Coliseum Saturday. Both Naptown Roller Girls teams won by triple-digit margins, with the Warning Belles beating Louisville’s Derby City Roller Girls 192-57.


A&E FEATURE Bissell ABG (plus) NUVO

Newly merged cycling team unique to Midwest BY M I CA H L IN G E DI T O RS @N U V O . N E T PH O T O S BY M A R K LE E On a recent December Saturday morning, about 25 guys met for coffee and bagels at Zipp Speed Weaponry, a manufacturer of bicycle parts and components on the west side of Indianapolis. They happen to be some of the best cyclists in the nation, and were meeting for the first time as a group. The cyclists are members of Bissell ABG NUVO, a mouthful of a name that came into being when, about a month ago, the NUVO Cycling team merged with Bissell Cycling and Advantage Benefits, an official pro-development feeder cycling team. There was instant cohesion in the room — although they came from several different teams, many had already spent quite a bit of time with the others during training or races. Team directors Derek Witte, Declan Doyle and Aaron Hubbell walked the athletes through the upcoming season’s schedule and the demands of being part of a team of this caliber. They discussed how to work as a team, and how to let go of a selfish mentality. Hubbell summed up his philosophy: “The times that you’re going to win the most races are the times when you’re not worrying about yourself. This is why we’re meeting with these guys now — so that when we’re racing they’re not worrying about getting to know each other.” They’re planning another team-building meeting in early spring, possibly in the Smokey Mountain region. Races begin in early March and proceed well into the fall. The Bissell guys are based in Michigan, and the NUVO guys are (obviously) local, so it takes some effort to get everyone in the same room.

The European model The roster ranges from teenagers to cyclists pushing 40 years old. Hubbell says that this concept is based more on the European model, where older cyclists mentor younger ones, helping them prepare for professional competition. He and Doyle believe that this team is the only one like it in the country, one that gives younger riders the opportunity to grow alongside their elders. Team member Alexey Vermeulen is only 16 years old, and is currently riding with a national team; he’ll spend most of the year training in Europe. There are

20

The Bissell ABG NUVO team practices at Eagle Creek Park. In canoe: Alex Weiseler (front) and Derek Graham. Below on bike: Westo n Luzadder.

nine cyclists under the age of 23, which is rare for a team. Mac Brennan goes to school in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, which, according to Hubbell, “may as well be a different planet.” Doyle is originally from Ireland; Alex Vanias is originally from Greece. Outside of cycling, what do these guys have in common? Not much; but they’re about to spend a pretty significant piece of their lives together. And that’s what they want: to share and teach. Doyle observed: “We made some mistakes in our cycling careers, and we want to teach them not to make the same mistakes. It’s going to be a fun year.” When Hubbell passed around pictures of the new “kit” — essentially, what their uniforms will look like — these elite athletes became like children; it was everyone’s birthday. They talked about the shoe options, helmets, sunglasses; new toys all around.

Team building The significant funds that are making this merger possible come from a still-growing list of sponsors: Bissell, Advantage Benefits Group, NUVO, Cultural Trail, Giant, BGI, SRAM, Zipp, Turner Appliance, Ameritrex, Bell, and Oakley. The team will certainly take part in the Mass Ave Crit, a NUVO-sponsored race that has grown bigger and bigger over the years, drawing tougher competition. The best way to stay up-to-date is to follow the team’s Twitter at BissellABG_NUVO. Many of the guys on the roster have their own accounts and will be responsible for keeping people in the know about their races and their progress. From Zipp, the guys headed to the woods for a Team Building Adventure course at

a&e feature // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

Eagle Creek. They chose teams and had to orienteer and problem-solve, out of their element — meaning, off bikes — in order to earn points. The teams had to do everything from bushwhacking to canoeing, in temperatures just above freezing. Everyone survived and felt stronger for it. They also had a team dinner and a brisk bike ride the following morning. When they meet in the spring, team leaders hope the team will be stronger and better poised to win races. The merger, which came out of talks that began in April, couldn’t be of greater significance to Doyle. “It means that two or three of these guys will be pro by July of next year; that’s massive. It’s pretty hard for a Midwest kid to get on a pro team, period.” „


A&E REVIEWS VISUAL ART 2011 UNDERGRADUATE STUDENT EXHIBITION HERRON SCHOOL OF ART & DESIGN; THROUGH DEC. 22 r

Anna Martinez, “I’ll fuck you till you love me.”

Two standouts in Herron’s annual undergrad exhibition deal with architecture as a subject. Marna Shopoff’s painting “Sears, Roebuck & Co. Where Dreams are Made” (oil on canvas) portrays a complex of bluish white buildings, as luminous as the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz and against a sepia/gray background. And then there’s Matthew Osborn’s “Hotel & Parking Garage” (cherry, hickory, and glass), which could work equally well as a coffee table or as an architecturally-inspired piece of art. Anna Martinez’s oil painting “I’ll fuck you till you love me” and James Wolfarth’s “End of the Line” (charcoal on paper) are perhaps the most shocking works here. The former portrays a pussy cat, looking cute and vulnerable. But you know that there’s more than just surface in this particular painting, which seems to reveal, metaphorically, a sad truth about certain human relationships. In “End of the Line,” however, what you see is what you get; you see a young man — the subject of the drawing — his pants down and his naked ass facing you. His face is turned towards you too, with an expression of shock, as if you’ve just surprised him while he was masturbating. The portrayal seems naturalistic enough (except for his hand that appears

somewhat wooden). I was at first put off by this work. But haven’t we all been caught in situations like this, at one time or another? — DAN GROSSMAN

THEATER ROALD DAHL’S WILLY WONKA BOOTH TARKINGTON CIVIC THEATRE, DIRECTED BY ROBERT SORBRERA; THROUGH JAN. 17 t Walking into Civic Theatre’s production of Willy Wonka, I expected grand things from resident designer Ryan Koharchik. He didn’t disappoint: Roald Dahl’s classic children’s tale offers many opportunities for theater magic, from fizzy lifting drink and the chocolate river to the whimsical glass elevator, and Koharchik’s grand set presented these moments in innovative ways that showcased the capabilities of Civic’s new home, including a rail system capable of lifting people not only up and down, but “sideways and slantways and longways and backways,” as the show’s Wonkavator would have it. The production features another improvement to the organization: kid stars trained in their newly-improved educational program. The young actors, in principal roles, gave inspirational performances that remind what it’s like to dream big. For instance, Noah McCarty-Slaugher, in the role of Charlie Bucket, exuded a passion for performing that infected the entire ensemble

of actors, both child and adult. As Willy Wonka, recent IU graduate John O’Brien has big shoes to fill. It’s nearly impossible not to think of Gene Wilder in his quintessential role. O’Brien did an admirable job of living up to the candy man we all know and love, but he largely failed to make the part his own. Regardless, the play presented an energetic ensemble, toe-tapping numbers and stunning design elements, all of which culminated to make for a magical experience. — KATELYN COYNE

50TH ANNIVERSARY OF LANGSTON HUGHES’ BLACK NATIVITY MADAME WALKER THEATRE CENTRE, DEC. 16-18 e The Walker’s spirited production of poet/dramatist Langston Hughes’ iconic choreo-poem retelling of the Birth of Jesus (based on the Gospel of St. Luke) was propelled by the forces of gospel music, modern dance and preaching. Throughout, the singing, acting and choreographed movement was equally powerful and nuanced, bringing multiple layers of meaning to the fore. Developed to show the personal effects of this miracle 2,011 years ago, the cast brought us into witnessing and absorbing. We were with Joseph and Mary in their desperate need to find a place to birth a child, and then in their amazement at the gifts and adoration. Act 1 of Hughes’s play, “The Child is Born,” is framed as a narrative story with vignettes,

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // a&e reviews

21


BROAD RIPPLE JEFF OSKAY

6281 N. College Ave. Upcoming:

Wednesday, Dec. 21-Friday Dec. 23

DAN CUMMINS Wed., Dec 28-Sat., Dec. 31

*special events not included

• Writer for the “Bob & Tom Show” • Born and raised Indiana native, still resides in Indianapolis • Original Member of Indy-Prov, Indy’s #1 improv comedy troup • Performed with Ron White, Zach Galifianakis and Jamie Kennedy

crackerscomedy.com

FOR RESERVATIONS, CALL 255-4211

Tickets: $5-$18 LADIES IN FREE

DOWNTOWN

$5 ADMISSION WITH COLLEGE ID

MATT HOLT

Wednesdays

SATURDAY, DEC. 31ST SHOWS @ 7:30 AND 10 TICKETS $20 AND UP

247 S. Meridian Upcoming:

Wednesday, Dec. 21-Friday Dec. 23 • Quick wit, razor sharp timing and biting delivery, he’ll take you on a thrill ride • Released debut album “I’m in Show Business!” • Co-host of wildly popular podcast “The Interweb Podshow” • Has toured the country performing at clubs, colleges, and casinos

Thursdays

CELEBRATE NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH DAN

JAMES JOHANN Wed., Dec 28-Sat., Dec. 31 CELEBRATE NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH JAMES

SATURDAY, DEC. 31ST SHOWS @ 7:30 AND 10 TICKETS $20 AND UP

FOR RESERVATIONS, CALL 631-3536 BEST HUMMUS & FALAFEL IN TOWN! GYROS WITH PITA BREAD MADE FRESH DAILY! AUTHENTIC MEDITERRANEAN RESTAURANT

Please present NUVO coupon. Cannot be combined with any other offers.

Please present NUVO coupon. Cannot be combined with any other offers.

Please present NUVO coupon. Cannot be combined with any other offers.

Please present NUVO coupon. Cannot be combined with any other offers.

EXPIRES 01/04/12.

EXPIRES 01/04/12.

EXPIRES 01/04/12.

EXPIRES 01/04/12.

PHOTO BY MARK LEE

Christine Pedi at the Cabaret. moving us through the journey to Bethlehem. Act 2, “The Word is Spread,” is set at a 1961 church service, parishioners replete in vintage clothing. The play reminds through powerful preaching to reflect upon the true meaning of the birth of Jesus as a force within us: “We are busy complaining about what we think we don’t have and ought to have, when in reality we should be thankful for what we do have.” Hughes’ enduring message is that the star that brought us to the manger is still shining, and we need only make the effort to find it and retain the initial spirit of gratitude for miracles surrounding us daily. Director Sherri Brown-Webster and music director the Rev. Gregory Squires created a production close to the original appearing on Dec. 11, 1961, at the 41st Street Theatre in New York City. This joyous community celebration brimmed with dedicated excellence by a cast giving 200 percent. Bravo to all involved. — RITA KOHN

SUKI LUE’S TRAVELIN’ JUKE JOINT INDYFRINGE THEATRE, DIRECTED BY DEBORAH ASANTE; DEC. 16-17 e In all, Deborah Asante and friends created a real experience with their Travelin’ Juke Joint, presented at IndyFringe last weekend. As the doors of the theater swung open, the sounds of hot music and the formidable Black Pearl (Keesha Dixon) greeted all who entered. With a complimentary drink in everyone’s hand, the Juke Joint heated up. Maxine’s Chicken and Waffles was on hand serving up wings at what felt like an underground speakeasy that we’d all just stumbled into out of the cold. Before the show, Asante, as Suki Lue, explained the concept of a “juke joint” to those of us less informed, then mandated that we all dance to the beats of James Brown. The effect was brilliant: The crowd loosened up to Brown’s funk, dropping their inhibitions for a moment. As the stage portion of the evening got underway, Suki Lue introduced a wild cast of characters, including the international star Jazelle (Jasmine Bailey), Little Momma (Empress Marlena) and the harmonica toting “Hot Lips” (Ken Skelton). A trio of musicians offered accompaniment as, one by one, the soulful ladies stood up to sing. The performance was meandering and unpredictable in the best way possible. Finally, Suki Lue closed things off with a story that reminded us to celebrate our individuality. — KATELYN COYNE

22

a&e reviews // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE WISDOM TOOTH THEATRE AT THEATRE ON THE SQUARE, DIRECTED BY MATTHEW SOCEY; DEC. 15-18 y Local radio personality and NUVO correspondent Matthew Socey directed and made a cameo appearance in Wisdom Tooth Theatre’s latest offering, a radio play rendition of It’s A Wonderful Life featuring five actors portraying 46 characters, plus sound engineers creating a buffet of sound effects. Though Socey’s director’s notes stipulated not to expect “imitations of Jimmy Stewart, Donna Reed or Lionel Barrymore ... on stage,” Anderson student and actor Tristen Rodden captured the warmth of Stewart’s George Bailey, sometimes giving spoton line readings straight from the film. Overall, the cast did an exceptional job of making the memorable moments of the film their own. Most notably, character actors Kelly Gualdoni and Adam Tran, who together portrayed more than a dozen roles, refreshed the radio drama by uninhibitedly diving into characters both young and old. In doing so, Gualdoni and Tran captured the most exciting part of watching a live radio drama — actors stretching their capabilities through the power of their own voices. That said, the script, a shorter version of the screenplay, misstepped at moments by relying too heavily on our collective memory of sight gags from the movie. In addition, unrealistic and overly busy on-stage action made it difficult to focus on the voice talent, which was ultimately the most interesting part of the show. — KATELYN COYNE

MUSIC CHRISTINE PEDI: THERE’S NO BIZNESS LIKE SNOW BIZNESS CABARET AT THE COLUMBIA CLUB; DEC. 15-18 e I can’t think of a more elegant and sophisticated setting for New York-style cabaret than the Columbia Club. Last Thursday night’s searing wind made the lights from the Monument Circle tree sway, creating tracers through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the Crystal Terrace room. What a picture-perfect backdrop for a Christmas-themed show! Christine Pedi wasn’t 100 percent on opening night, but she was forgiven. Pedi is an easy-


going performer who doesn’t get fazed easily. Her flight odyssey from New York made for good storytelling, and she and her pianist, Matthew Ward, gave the audience a top-of-the-line variety show. While Pedi is known for her roles in Forbidden Broadway and Forbidden Hollywood, and is starring in two shows concurrently OffBroadway (not to mention her Sirius XM Radio show), her show-stoppers weren’t her ballads or Broadway numbers, but her impressions. From the likes of Cher and Charo, to her “12 Days of Christmas” Diva Grab Bag that included a spoton Bernadette Peters, Pedi is a laugh-meister. Additional proof that she owns the title were her homage to the departure of Oprah to the tune of “Those Were the Days” and the song “Occupy Christmas,” as well as a snipe at reindeer hunting with Sarah Palin. While you can get dinner (and I recommend you do) at the Cabaret at the Columbia, don’t mistake this for “dinner the-

Marna Shopoff, “Where Dreams are Made.”

ater.” Leave your jeans in the closet and dust off something posh to wear for an evening that takes you up a notch in Indianapolis theater. — LISA GAUTHIER MITCHISON

COMEDY ABSURD THIRD THURSDAYS AT WHITE RABBIT CABARET; DEC. 15 r The White Rabbit may be home to a burlesque troupe, but every third Thursday, comics take the place over to provide entertainment of a more cerebral kind. The match-up makes sense: Back in the day, skits and one-liners provided filler before the dancing girls; one had to listen to jokes before one got to see tatas. Last night was the White Rabbit’s twelfth such comedy show, and there certainly were a lot of laughs and some quality comics. Host Isaac Landfert warmed up the sparse crowd of polite, smart, mostly twentysomethings; he was comfortable on stage and seemed to enjoy every minute of his time up there. Hometown hero Jimmy Roberson, who can’t stop being featured on rooftopcomedy.com, followed. Roberson is funny, though his style is a curious one. One worries that he’s going to forget the next word of his joke, but that’s part of the fun; he’s the king of the pause, and once you catch his rhythm, his material will win you over. This guy is one to watch. Another undeniable treasure is Cam O’Connor, who slid into his set with a devil-may-care attitude that put the crowd at ease. Whether the audience laughs or not, O’Connor always seems to have a good time, ultimately giving the audience permission to relax. Headliner Marques (Marcus) Bunn has been working for 14 years, accumulating over an hour and a half of material over time. The forty minutes he

shared with the White Rabbit crowd was thoroughly enjoyable. Bunn sets himself apart from other headliners with interesting, really creative, impressions. Everyone does a Christopher Walken, but Bunn does Walken singing No Doubt’s “Bananas.” He does Gordon Ramsey yelling at people about using a microwave wrong and imagines Matthew McConaughey and Owen Wilson as James Bond. Beyond impressions, Bunn makes stories about going to the track and shopping at Old Navy hilarious. Anyone who works talk of a Trapper Keeper into a comedy routine in the present decade deserves some credit. — BEVERLY BRADEN

BOOKS SPEAK TO THE EARTH: PAGES FROM A FARMWIFE’S JOURNAL BY RACHEL PEDEN INDIANA UNIVERSITY PRESS, PAPER, $19.95 e Rachel Peden (1901-1975) experienced the life of a farm wife with a knowing heart. She recognized the hard realities of making a living off the land, while savoring the rewards of connecting, for instance, with the hornet that built its home of paper; or the indigenous plants that popped up in a well-tended garden, stayed a season and moved elsewhere; or the possum gathering leaves onto her tail, curling it and carrying the load to build a nest. Peden is poetic or blunt, as the need arises, as she carries us through a year of observations. A typical spring entry: “The February day was ending in a cold sunset ... a dazzling silver disk in a gray muslin sky …” And soon comes sum-

mer: “It is June and the wheat is ripening … The morning light is blue and gold, the color of contentment …” The insightful foreword by Scott Russell Sanders and inviting drawings by Sidonie Coryn are lovely companions for this collection of brief essays. It is best savored slowly, read aloud in companionship with another or alone, for the sheer pleasure of hearing voice give flight to well-crafted prose. Originally published in 1974. —RITA KOHN

Now No w t h e la rg e st b u f f e t s e l e c t i o n i n t ow n!

HOURS

Voted the BEST INDIAN RESTAURANT by NUVO readers!

Daily Lunch Buffet: 11am-2:30 pm Dinner: Mon-Thurs. 5-10 pm, Fri. 5:00-10 pm Sat. 2:30-10 pm, Sun. 2:30-9:30 pm

10% OFF Carry out or Dine In One Coupon Per Table. Not Valid With Any Other Offer. Only valid on menu order. Expires 1/4/12

$1.00 OFF Daily lunch buffet

One Coupon Per Table. Dine In Only. Not Valid With Any Other Offer Expires 1/4/12

HOURS

Sunday & Daily Lunch Buffet: 11:30am-2:30 pm Dinner: Mon-Fri. 5-10 pm, Sat. 2:30-10 pm Sun. 2:30-9:30 pm Buy one dinner entree & get the 2nd entree

1/2 OFF

Up to $10.00. Dine In Only. Not Valid With Any Other Offer Expires 1/4/12

Catering for private parties! Call for carryout! | THE SPOT for vegan and vegetable dishes! (non-veggie too!) Come in for our Sunday dinner buffet! | Up to 250 people banquet hall for parties or conferences 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // a&e reviews

23


FOOD Grille 39

Surprisingly good hotel food BY N E I L CH A R LE S N CH A RL E S @N U V O . N E T Hotel restaurants have always had a credibility issue: Many travelers don’t like to eat in them because to do so carries the appearance of desperation. All too often quality is compromised by the need to provide three meals a day in addition to room service, and ingredients are often sourced at the national level, rather than on a local basis. Although Indianapolis has its share of decent hotel restaurants downtown, Grille 39 is the first I can recall this far from the center of things which deserves to become an attraction for local diners. On a recent visit at 8:30 on a Saturday evening, we were somewhat dismayed to find that, not only were we the only customers in the entire place, but that the tables had already been set for breakfast service. Dreading a lackluster dinner from a second-string kitchen crew, we were therefore pleasantly surprised when the entire experience considerably surpassed our expectations. Not only did the food come out promptly, hot and impec-

cably plated, the ingredients were also fresh-tasting and of high quality. Chef Philip Kromer has arranged his dinner menu in a clear and logical fashion, omitting superfluous flourishes and keeping the number of choices to a manageable few. Meats are grilled on an 1,800-degree infrared broiler, ensuring a wonderful sear and a juicy interior to the steaks. Seafood is either grilled, sautéed or baked. In addition to meat and fish, there’s a good selection of sandwiches and salads as well as a couple of soups of the day. Particularly appealing is the selection of vegetables, embellishments and sauces, effectively allowing the diner to indulge in any number of variations around the protein. With my impeccable sautéed diver scallops ($27), I chose a garlicky aioli with asparagus and a perfectly al dente parmesan risotto. We also enjoyed a superbly flavorful filet steak ($37), with a classically-prepared béarnaise sauce, and the grilled chicken ($24), perfectly scented with sage, and juicily tender but still firm. This latter had all the hallmarks of a free range bird, but I wasn’t able to verify this. Perhaps the standout main course was my wife’s delicately sauced lobster spaghetti ($28), which featured a light and richly-flavored alfredo sauce laced with large chunks of obviously real lobster and a touch of basil. Equally impressive were the appetizers, including a loose and profoundly meaty crab cake ($14.75), artfully served with a dash of key lime mustard sauce. Garnished

PHOTO BY MARK LEE

Grill 39’s filet steaks.

with julienne vegetables on a plate resembling an artist’s palette (complete with thumb hole), this was a feast for the eyes as well as the mouth. A trio of pulled pork sliders ($11.50), served on brioche buns, possessed an agreeably vinegary tang and a melting texture. More ordinary, but nonetheless tasty for that, was a handful of barbecued shrimp ($14.75.) Advertised as “wicked,” these weren’t as fiercely spicy as we had expected; a good thing, perhaps. The only mild disappointment of the evening was the choice of breads, which included a sweet cinnamon toast that might better have been kept for breakfast. „

CULINARY PICKS LULU’S RELOCATES

Invites you to Worship With Us This Christmas! December 24 Christmas Eve 3 p.m. 5 p.m.

Pageant of the Nativity and Holy Eucharist Festival of Christmas Lessons and Carols

7:30 p.m Santa Misa 11 p.m.

Festal Choral Eucharist

December 25 Christmas Day 10 a.m.

Holy Eucharist

1 p.m.

Santa Misa

w w w. c c c i n d y. o r g

Lulu’s Electric Cafe, an independent coffeehouse located on the corner of 86th Street and Ditch Road for 14 years, recently moved a few blocks west, changing its name and expanding its menu in the process. LuLu’s Coffee + Bakehouse, stationed at 2292 W. 86th St., at the intersection of 86th Street and Township Line Road, has a few more drinks and dishes to offer than its predecessor, including Italian sodas, loose leaf teas, a gluten-free quiche and a spicy roast beef sandwich. Plus, the new location is a bit more green, with LED lighting and reclaimed construction materials. More info at luluscoffeeandbakehouse.com, or call 317-879-1995. If you have an item for the Culinary Picks, send an email at least two weeks in advance to culinary@nuvo.net.

BEER BUZZ

a&e // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

Renaissance Indianapolis North Hotel 11925 N. Meridian St., Carmel 814-2550

HOURS

LUNCH: 11 a.m.- 2 p.m. DINNER: 5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

FOOD: r ATMOSPHERE: r SERVICE: r

Patrick’s Kitchen, now open at the Brick Street Inn, 175 S. Main St., in downtown Zionsville is a 50-seat restaurant with 10 taps of craft beers, including Flat 12 Walkabout Pale, Sun King WeeMuckle and Cream Ale, People’s Mr. Brown. Indiana Brews in Chicago: Farmhouse “Farm to Tavern restaurant” at 228 W. Chicago Ave., celebrates Midwestern craft beers including Indiana’s Three Floyds Pride & Joy and Dreadnaught, and Barley Island’s Barfly IPA. Open daily 11 a.m. – 2 a.m.

DEC. 21

Tomlinson Tap Room, Beer and Food Pairing, 5:308:30 p.m.; $25. Hamilton Beverage Center, 2290 116th St., Carmel, beer tasting, 5 p.m.; call 317-844-0872. Bare Hands Brewery, newly opened in Granger, Ind., at 12801 Sandy Court, joins the recently opened Four Horsemen Brewing Company in the Mishawaska-South Bend area.

BY RITA KOHN

DEC. 22-23 Christmas beers are specials with tones of holiday spices adding to aroma and taste appeal along with body warmth with each sip. Check out your favorites, but verify holiday schedules before heading to a brewpub or brewery. Some suggestions coming to Beer Buzz’s mailbox include: • • • • • • • • •

24

Grille 39

Bier’s Chocolate Mint Stout Thr3e Wise Men’s Mount Crumpet Christmas Ale Triton’s Gingerbread Brown Flat 12’s Sugar Plum Milk Stout, Brandy-aged Pale Ale, Fruitcake IPA and Hot Cocoa Milk Stout Upland’s Teddy Bear Kisses Rock Bottom’s Old Curmudgeon Strong Red Ale (downtown location) Sun King‘s crab apple infused Holiday Beer Half Moon’s slightly sweet and malty-flavored KokoMonster Oaken Barrel’s Epiphany Belgian Triple.

Flat 12 Bierwerks taproom, concludes “12 Biers of Christmas” with Barrel Jack, a barrel-aged version of Flat Jack Pumpkin Ale, and barrel-aged Glazed Ham Porter, offering a taste of ham with bourbon. Jan. 14, 2012, is Flat 12’s first anniversary; watch for an event.

WEEKLY EVENTS:

Rock Bottom College Park, every Wednesday happy-hour menu all day, 317-471-8840 Birdy’s, beer tasting, every first Tuesday, 6-8 p.m. Crown Liquors, beer tastings every Friday. Check time by location. If you have an item for Beer Buzz, send an email to beerbuzz@nuvo.net. Deadline for Beer Buzz is Thursday noon before the Wednesday of publication.


MOVIES The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo BY E D JO H N S O N - O TT EJO H N S O N O T T @N U V O . N E T

e (R) The opening credits for David Fincher’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo feature the kind of creepy-cool imagery and threatening industrial music you might associate with a vintage Nine Inch Nails video. The credits confirm the suspicion – Music by NIN main man Trent Reznor (see bottom of page for a rock musician “Fun Fact”) and Atticus Ross. Reznor and Fincher first teamed up on Seven, and the boys’ feel-bad outlook hasn’t diminished over the years. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is the American adaptation of the first book in Stieg Larsson’s hugely successful trilogy. All three novels were made into hit Swedish films, but most Americans hate subtitles, so Fincher was invited to do his take on the grim goings-on. The story. Recently disgraced in court by his enemies, journalist Mikael Blomkvist

(Daniel Craig, appropriately subdued), takes a case that will get him out of the spotlight for a while. His task is to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a young girl decades ago from a private island inhabited by the Vangers, a rich, weird family with more simmering resentments than a Republican presidential candidates’ dinner party. Blomkvist hires a highly recommended assistant, Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara, in a star-making performance). She’s an incredibly skilled computer hacker with a sullen demeanor and a punk/goth look. Lisbeth was declared a ward of the state years ago, and her warrior facade is just one of many protective measures she took after being raped. Dark enough for you? There’s more: Nazis, serial killing, incest, torture. Merry Christmas, everybody, would you like a dollop of strychnine-laced whipped cream on your mincemeat pie? The story is dense, the atmosphere is tense (and that rhyme was unplanned). Fincher’s approach is methodical and unhurried. I’ve seen the original film trilogy and knew what was going to happen, but Fincher’s vision still held my attention, even with a running time of nearly two hours and 40 minutes. However, there is a big speed bump about 20 minutes before the closing credits. Not enough to ruin the ride, but it definitely gives your shocks a workout. Here’s the non-spoiler deal: After Mikael and Lizbeth team up, their adventures dominate the proceedings to the point that you

PHOTO BY

Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo .

nearly forget the case they are working on. When their story reaches its climax, it feels like the end of the movie. But wait, we still have to wrap up the whole disappearanceof-the-young-girl-decades-ago thang. Keep that in mind and perhaps you won’t find the last 20 minutes as anticlimactic as I did. Or maybe you will, since the revelations aren’t as startling as they’re supposed to be. If you’ve watched Law and Order or similar TV procedurals, you’ve seen similar twists before. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is stylish and gripping. Be ready for some horrifying images, including a deeply-disturbing rape

scene that manages to portray the nightmarish experience without feeling exploitative, a feat the original film could not (or did not want to) manage. Post-Review Fun Fact: Do you know why solo artists (with sidemen) like Trent Reznor adopt rock band names like Nine Inch Nails rather than simply using their own? Because people buy way more t-shirts with cool band names than t-shirts with somebody’s name on them. I always reckoned it was about art and image, but it’s just business. Who’d have thought? „

FILM CLIPS OPENING

The following are reviews of films currently playing in Indianapolis area theaters. Reviews are written by Ed Johnson-Ott (EJO) unless otherwise noted. THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN u (PG)

An animated feature done in the style of Polar Express, where the characters are just realistic enough to look creepy. So many dead eyes! So many characters that look like some poor sap dressed in a mascot costume at a ball park! Give me cartoons or real actors – don’t try to blend the two. The story plays like a feature length stunt show – yes, there are some impressive visuals, but the production is so over-choreographed that there is no sense of anything being at stake. Overall, it’s far more tiresome than fun. No thank you. 104 minutes.

THE ARTIST (PG-13)

Hollywood 1927. George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) is a silent movie superstar. The advent of the talkies will sound the death knell for his career and see him fall into oblivion. For young extra named Peppy Miller (Berenice Bejo), it seems like the sky’s the limit – major movie stardom awaits. The Artist tells the story of their interlinked destinies. 100 minutes. Read Ed’s review Thursday at nuvo.net.

THE DARKEST HOUR (PG-13)

Five young people find themselves stranded in Moscow, fighting to survive in the wake of a devastating alien attack. The trailer highlights the classic beauty of Moscow alongside lots of special effects. Starring Emile Hirsch, Olivia Thirlby, Max Minhella, Rachael Taylor and Joel Kinnaman. 89 minutes.

WAR HORSE e (PG-13)

Epic tale of a horse and its travels during World War II, from rural England to various parts of war-torn Europe. Steven Spielberg directs the adaptation of the celebrated play, offering an episodic odyssey with visuals and a score reminiscent of such lush films as Lassie Come Home, with some PG-13 style Saving Private Ryan violence to reflect on the horror of war. You have to decide early on whether to roll your eyes at the cornucopia of perfect sunsets and syrupy strings or surrender to Spielberg’s vision. I chose to surrender and I found the film moving and involving. Not especially deep, but moving and involving nonetheless. 146 minutes.

WE BOUGHT A Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous) directs the based-on-fact story about a single dad (Matt Damon) who decides his family needs a fresh ZOO start, so he and his two children move to the most unlikely of places – a zoo. (PG) With the help of an eclectic staff, and with many misadventures along the way, the family works to return the dilapidated zoo to its former wonder and glory. 124 minutes.

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // a&e

25


1

FOR EVERY DRINK!

UGLY SWEATER CH RI ST MAS

PARTY QUARTER MADNESS

FRIDAY

$

EVE EVE

PARTY!

5 BOMBS

SATURDAYS

3.75

X-MAS

$

THURSDAY

PHOTOS BY PAISLEY’S SUCH A NICE GIRL ON FLICKR

$

WEDNESDAYS

18OZ. MILLER LITE & COORS LIGHT OURS ARE NOT TINY

EXCLUSIVE DJS IN THE UNDERGROUND

JOIN US FOR OUR KARAOKE CONTEST EVERY WED AND THURS NIGHT IN THE TABOO TIKI! $25 CASH PRIZE FOR NIGHTLY WINNER!

6283 N. COLLEGE AVE • 317.257.6277


music FRIDAY, DEC. 23 Birdy’s 2331 E 71st St. 8 p.m., $12, 21+

2CHAINZ A.K.A. TITY BOI, Thursday, Dec. 22 Cloud 9, 5150 W. 38th St. Doors at 10p/m. 2 Chainz between 1:30-3am, $20 + fees, 21+

8 p.m. - Voodoo Sunshine 9 p.m. - Endiana 10 p.m. - Otis Gibbs 11 p.m. - Chevy Downs

SUBMITTED PHOTO

The artist formerly known as Tity Boi.

2Chainz gains momentum

Long-time mixtape maker finally gets a break B Y G A L E N D E K E MP E R M U S I C@N U V O . N E T

U

nlike political candidates, who operate around election cycles, Atlanta-based rapper 2Chainz has been on his Kickstand Campaign trail nonstop for well over a decade. With eight mixtapes to his name and a steadily growing fanbase, the good times are rolling for this rapper, who is also known as Tity Boi. His special engagement at Cloud 9 will be one of the last, biggest shows of the year for Indianapolis. 2Chainz’ latest offering, T.R.U. REALigion, has been downloaded over one million times since its Nov. 1 release. Its ascendant ode to currency circulation, “Spend It,” has made 2Chainz a popular crosstown topic of conversation this holiday season. You can be sure every wise man and woman in town will be following the bright star to Cloud 9 this Thursday for the opportunity to hear 2Chainz preach his gospel. On the intro to T.R.U. REALigion, 2Chainz thanks “griming” for his current moment in the spotlight, a word he made up that denotes a mix of grinding and timing. The man has demonstrated a knack for both. He arrived at his last birthday party in a helicopter, has a security detail that accompanies him in a taxidermy-covered pickup truck and must use a space ship to reach the condo he claims to own on Jupiter in the music video to his single

onnuvo.net

PHOTO BY TONY BYRD

Chevy Downs album cover

“Goodnight.” The song features a beat from the Honorable C Note and amounts to 2Chainz’s dismissal of those who are “sleeping on him,” a category that continues to shrink every second. Tity Boi has been 2Chainz’s nickname since childhood, since he was the firstborn breastfed infant in a community where baby formula was a common substitute. Tity Boi, né Tauheed Epps, attended Alabama State University in the late ’90s, where he played college basketball and studied business before he turning his attention to the rap game. For years, Tity Boi and his partner Dolla Boy built names for themselves as P.L.A.Y.A.Z. Circle (Preparing Legal Assets for Years from A-Z), with no help from record labels or radio play and a determination to speak to the streets. Then, a popular single with Lil’ Wayne, “Duffle Bag Boy,” brought the duo international recognition. An affiliation with Ludacris and his DTP crew further cemented Tity Boi’s presence as a relevant figure. Now, under his more accessible nom de plume, 2Chainz has reached the pinnacle of mixtape stardom, as T.R.U. REALigion bears DJ Drama’s “Gangsta Grillz” seal of approval. 2Chainz, who calls himself a Kama Sutra reader and a Conjure drinker, uses his business acumen and demonstrative lifestyle as the basis for his motivational tales of portfolio growth, relationship development, and reflections on the struggles of life. 2Chainz says, “The only way to build a movement is through movement,” and his 150-plus tour dates in the past year are testament to his work ethic. He remains too busy accumulating luxuries to allow himself the luxury of days off and you can expect him to be looking fresh as a good dream when he steps into the club on Thursday night. In addition to his Cloud 9 performance, 2Chainz will appear at an all ages meet and greet at R & S Menswear at the Lafayette Square Mall around 5 p.m.„

/REVIEWS

„ Modoc „ Chuck’s X-Mas Party „ The Joy Formidable

Holiday Hootenanny The Chevy Downs Band reunites BY RO B N ICHOLS M USIC@ N UVO.NET If there was an Indianapolis band that seemed to have the right ingredients for a bit of Americana success, it was The Chevy Downs Band. Made up of guys who had spent time in a couple of the state’s most interesting rock bands, this was the one group that ended up splintering too soon. It has been more than 15 years since the Wilco-esque band first got together, and we’ll never know if they would have been bigger if they had hung together longer. But, the boys are back to rock for at least one more night, with a holiday party at Birdy’s that allows us to revisit the greatness that burned not long enough. A pair of singer/songwriters, David Moore (Chamberlain) and Tim Jones (Old Pike, now with Truth & Salvage Co.) were at the core of the band. The group also included Jason Brammer (Old Pike) on bass, Seth Greathouse (Chamberlain) on mandolin and banjo, John Byrne (Mere Mortals) on pedal steel, dobro and guitar and Andrew Snyder on drums. I found Byrne, and got the scoop on how the gang of pretend brothers (they

each adopted a name and persona — ala the Traveling Wilburys — to become the Downs Brothers) decided to reunite. NUVO: OK, tell the story. JOHN BYRNE: Our banjo/mandolin player, Seth, got together with our longtime friend, Ryan Hughey and his Bearded Flower Productions, and put out emails to each of us late in November about playing during the holidays. NUVO: And everyone was willing? BYRNE: Within a day or two, everyone but Tim Jones had confirmed, and that was only because he was making his way home to Los Angeles from the completion of the 2011 Truth & Salvage Company tour. He was somewhere on the East Coast. NUVO: So, after, the band said yes? BYRNE: Ryan and Seth found a venue, got a date, and commenced to put Bearded Flower’s promotional machine to work, replete with a handful of merchandise for our audience to make up for their holiday shopping deficiencies. NUVO: You think people need some merchandise bribe to get them out their door to come see one of the greatest countryrock bands to ever hail from Indy? BYRNE: I mean, seriously, what family member wouldn’t cherish the opportunity to tear open a package on Christmas morning to find a gleaming Chevy Downs commemorative flask shining back at them? The event is presented by Bearded Flower Productions. „

SUBMITTED PHOTO

The boys of The Chevy Downs Band

/FEATURES

„ New Year’s Eve Event Roundup „ A Standard Christmas „ Carols by Kid Kazooey

„ Joyful Noise Flexi-Disc Series „ Hometapes Christmas Mixtape

/PHOTOS

„ Naptown Roller Girls „ Alabama Shakes

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // music

27


December 31, 8:00pm

4923 Kessler Blvd East Drive

Spend a rockin’ elegant evening at the amazing Kessler Mansion with live music feat. Borrow Tomorrow, Mardelay and DJ OhBeOne.

Full Open Bar ★ Buffett ★ L Lounge Ball Drop on a Massive Screen ★ Champagne Toast at Midnight Dress like your favorite Hollywood Star! Prizes and Oscars will be awarded.

Tickets only $75!! Tickets are limited, buy yours now! Online sales only!

http://NYEIndy.eventbrite.com

6283 N. College Ave.

Celebrate New Years Eve with Peppers! FEAT. LIVE MUSIC FROM BAND “AND AWAY THEY GO” CALL AND RESERVE YOUR PRIVATE BOTTLE OF ROTARI CHAMPAGNE FOR $40.

RSVP VIP AREA. CALL 317.257.6277 FREE CHAMPAGNE TOAST AT MIDNIGHT AND PARTY FAVORS!


Bubbaz Bar & Grill

NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY INDY CD AND VINYL 806 Broad Ripple Ave. Call 317-259-1012 for holiday hours.

Balloon Drop at Midnight Door Prizes

Clams Casino, Instrumentals

Don’t Miss:

Indy CD and Vinyl Holiday Gift Guide ‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the city People still had to shop for their presents, oh what a pity Excuse my extremely lame pun (and for a much better rendition, turn to our cover story on page 10). Missed our Don’ t Miss feature from last week? Never fear; Indy CD and Vinyl has crafted a holiday gift guide for the music lover in your life. Below, ten picks from the Broad Ripple store to make your holiday shopping a dream. All selections are from the Indy CD and Vinyl staff. White Stripes Seven-Inch Singles “Third Man Records releases out of print White Stripes 7” singles including a cover version of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” and a special “Merry Christmas From ...The White Stripes” which includes the B-side “Story Of The Magi/Silent Night.” These 7” records make a perfect gift for Jack White/White Stripes/Dead Weather fans.” Beastie Boys Colored Seven-Inch “As recent Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees, the Beastie Boys have issued several live and demo versions of songs on 7” vinyl from their classic album, Paul’s Boutique. Many of these 7” records contain instrumental and remix versions of their anthems and would complement any party.” Clams Casino - Instrumentals LP “Amazing new hip hop producer who has created beats for Soulja Boy and Lil B. The instrumentals are so dense that they stand strong without their vocal track accompaniment. After hearing these tracks, you’ll no doubt understand the hype around this beat maker.” Black Keys - El Camino “The Black Keys issue their latest album just in time for the holidays, and this one is

Saturday, December 31 9:00 pm-1:00 am

bound to make it on many of the year’ s end Best Of lists. This album is filled with signature guitar riffs and soul-drenched choruses. It has become hard to keep this album on the shelves, and deservedly so.” Brand New - Your Favorite Weapon LP “Brand New’s debut album gets reissued for its 10th anniversary on vinyl and makes the per fect gift for fans reminiscing the days of bitter breakups and post relationship angst.” Beatles Seven-Inch Box Set “Four picture sleeve vinyl singles including “Ticket To Ride,” “Yellow Submarine,” “Hey Jude” and “Something” come with this box set that also includes a 21” x 21” poster of the fab four and a 45 adapter. This Record Store Day box set is very limited and would be a great gift for any Beatle fanatic.” M83 - Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming “M83’s latest double album is chock-full of gorgeous and gripping tracks that Pitchfork described as a “transmission from a fantasy world.” Current M83 fans will not be disappointed with this epic release while perking the ears of new fans.” I Break Horses - Hearts “A wonderful debut album from Swedish duo Maria Linden and Fredrick Balck that echoes the days of British shoegaze music. This genre continually celebrates hanging, whispered vocals and also adds elements of pulsating synths and driving beats.”

Raven, managing partner, invites you to our NYE celebration. Come celebrate with your friends and enjoy our NYE Special Package!

NORTH

Call ahead for Special NYE Package, $40/ couple: Admission for Two, Two Special NY Appetizers, Champagne toast at Midnight, and Party Favors! or $5 cover at door just for entry

7526 N. SHADELAND AVE • (317) 585-8980

Karaoke World Championships USA home of Karaoke Battle USA AS SEEN ON TV!

TUESDAYS 9PM

3 WEEKLY WINNERS + PRIZES F I N A L S - JA N 3 1 ST, 2 01 2 • FREE TO ENTER • • Three Winners Will Advance to the Local Finals for a Shot at $300 + Chance at State Finals. • • State Winners Have a Chance to compete on the Reality TV show “Karaoke Battle USA.” + a shot at the finals worth $16,000 in cash and prizes•

Bob Dylan Seven-Inch Box Set “Four picture sleeve vinyl singles including “Subterranean Homesick Blues,” “Like A Rolling Stone,” “Positively 4th Street,” and “Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window?” come with this box set that also includes a sticker. This Record Store Day box set is very limited and would make a great gift for any Dylan fan.” Adele - Live At The Royal Albert Hall This two disc set includes a DVD and a CD of Adele’s live performance at the Royal Albert Hall in London and includes behind the scenes footage. 2011 was a great year for Adele with her smash hit album 21, and this performance captures her rise to stardom.”

Nightly Drink Specials, Details @ www.facebook.com/tykaraoke 17421 Carey Rd, Westfield, IN 46074

317.867.0397 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // music

29


SOUNDCHECK THIS WEEK AT BIRDY’S

WED. 12/21

BIRDYS ANNUAL XMAS BASH W/ KISS ME UNDER THE CAMELTOE, JAKE BROTHERS, BROODIS, VINYL SHRINER, LINES OF NAZCA, HENRY FRENCH, CREME DE LES FEMMES BURLESQUE AND MORE!

UPCOMING

THU TORNADO TUESDAY, KALO 12/29 THE INNOCENT BOYS,

FRI HERE NOW, THE LAST 12/30 THE DOMINO, BAND OF BEARDS

NEW YEARS EVE BASH

THUR. 12/22

DOT DOT DOT, RIVETSHACK, THURSDAY BOOK CLUB

FRI. 12/23

CHEVY DOWNS REUNION SHOW W/ OTIS GIBBS, ENDIANA, AND VOODOO SUNSHINE

MON. 12/26

SHIVA THINAKKAL, YO! AYY TEE, QWINTIS SENTIAL

SAT W/ OLD REVEL MINDS, 12/31 ATTAKULLA , 19CLARK25, AND MORE!

FRI 01/06 STEEPWATER QUAKE ENTERTAINMENT FRI SHOWCASE W/ 5 DAY TRIP, 01/20 LULLWATER, PRAGMATIC, DELL ZELL, MIDWEST STATE OF MIND SUBMITTED PHOTO

TUES. 12/27

TROUBADOR TUESDAY ! W/ JAY ARMSTRONG, ETHAN OLVEY

WED. 12/28

MICHAEL KELSEY

SAT NAPTOWN ROLLERGIRLS W/ 01/21 AFTERPARTY BURY’N MCINTYRE THU INGRAM HILL W/ 02/02 MATT DUKE

GET TICKETS AT BIRDY’S OR THROUGH TICKETMASTER

Memory Map

Wednesday JAZZ DAVID BAKER’S 80TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION The Jazz Kitchen, 5377 N. College Ave. 8 p.m., prices vary, 21+

Perhaps you read our preview of this event in December’s Jazz Notes. To refresh your memory, long-time columnist Chuck Workman wrote, “Dr. Baker, who founded and led Indiana University’s Jazz Studies program to a prestigious national and international reputation, will be honored by generations of jazz musicians who studied under his tutelage. An evening of special music programs under the direction of Brent W allarab will feature the compositions of Dr. Baker by the BWJO, The David Linard T rio and the American Pianist Association’s finalist Zach Lapidus.” Black tie attire is required. RSVP with the Jazz Kitchen. ROCK MEMORY MAP, SLEEPING BAG, MAGICIAN JOHNSON The Bishop, 123 S. Walnut St. (Bloomington) 9 p.m., $5, 18+

Get a taste of Memory Map before their Nuclear New Year’s debut. They’ll be playing with fellow Bloomingtonites Sleeping Bag. They’ll also be playing with the awesomelynamed Magician Johnson. If you haven’ t made it down to the Bishop since it was the Cinemat, this is a show worth traveling for. The bar has a great selection of local beers on tap, and there’s a separate entrance for the under -21s.

music // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

APPRECIATE MELODY INN CUSTOMER APPRECIATION NIGHT The Melody Inn, 3826 N. Illinois St. 8 p.m., free, 21+

Free food! No cover! Free pool! No cover! Thanks, Melody Inn!

Thursday

DANCE RETRO REWIND UGLY SWEATER PARTY

DUBSTEP ALTERED X-MAS

I know you’ve got some ugly Christmas sweaters hidden somewhere. If not, make a Goodwill stop on the way to the V ogue’s Retro Rewind. There will be prizes for sexiest and ugliest sweaters at the event. Dance out your Christmas gift-giving anxiety.

It’s a very merry Altered X-Mas, featuring Phenom (as Santa Claus) and Psynapse (as Dubstep Jesus). Colin Rebey’s from Chicago maintains five weekly residences in Chicago spanning all genres. IndyMojo and the G-9 Collective claim to be ready to let you ring in the holidays or drown in them, whichever you may choose. Merry Mojo Christmas!

The Vogue, 6259 N. College Ave. 10 p.m., free with toy donation, 21+

30

SUBMITTED PHOTO

DMA

The Mousetrap, 5565 N. Keystone Ave., 10 p.m., free, 21+


SOUNDCHECK SHOWCASE AUDIO RECON SHOWCASE The Melody Inn, 3826 N. Illinois St. 8 p.m., $5, 21+

Thursday, Dec. 22 8:30PM

Echomaker and DMA will play with special guest Dead Arm Drunk. Echomaker’s first EP is due out on Dec. 29th (with a release show planned for the White Rabbit along with NYC artist Emily W ells). Catch a preview of the event with lots of tracks from the upcoming release on display at the Mel. They play an eclectic mix of hip hop and garage jazz that needs to be heard to be fully understood. Local favorite DMA of the dissolved (and greatly missed) Jookabox will be performing as well.

BLUES JAM HOSTED BY CHARLIE CHEESEMAN, TIM DUFFY, LESTER JOHNSON & JAY STEIN

Friday Dec. 23rd

TJ REYNOLDS & THE FREEHAND ORCHESTRA | KWANZAA POPPS & THE IRB SOUND | MINA & THE WONDEROUS FLYING MACHINE | SPHIE

NEW YEAR'S EVE SHOW OF THE YEAR

RAP 2CHAINZ

Cloud 9, 5150 W, 38th St., 10 p.m., $20 + fees, 21+

See our interview with 2 Chainz on page 27.

Friday

Come celebrate with the Locals Only crew and the wonderful music of:

ROOTS CHEVY DOWNS HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA

JENN CRISTY BREAKDOWN KINGS DJ DEADRISK

Birdy’s, 2131 E 71st St., 8 p.m., $12, 21+

See our interview with Chevy Downs on page 27. ROCK BLUE MOON REVUE’S HOLIDAY EXTRAVANGANZA

Radio Radio, 1119 Prospect St., 9 p.m., $6, 21+

Christmas trees and rock and roll await you at the Blue Moon Revue’s Holiday Extravanganza. This four-piece has opened for Santana, Ok Go and Los Lobos. After a decade of music-making and five years of holiday parties, they’re back at Radio Radio for their 2011 Extravaganza. They’ll perform with Genius Johnson and Kisses for Free. The $6 cover is reduced to $3 with a canned food donation for Gleaner’ s food bank. HAIR METAL HAIRBANGER’S BALL

The Vogue, 6259 N. College Ave., 9 p.m., $7, 21+

What did we do before Hairbanger’s Ball? I guess we listened to the original music this cover band features. If you’ve never seen V an Halen, Slayer, AC/DC, Poison, Guns N’ Roses or Def Leppard live, here’s your chance to get all their hits in one show. There are always

BARFLY

by Wayne Bertsch

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Mr. Clit and the Pink Cigarettes. plenty of holey band Ts, leather, and PVC pants at these shows. Don’ t miss your chance to mix those already awesome outfit choices with holiday sweaters at this night before the night before Christmas show.

Starts at 7:00 pm $15 day of show $12 advance Ticket price includes champagne toast at midnight!

FRIDAYS:

KARA THE FRONOTKE IN ROOM • DJ IN THE B ACK PENNY PITCH OF MONKEY B ERS REW $3 PATRON ULTIMAT VOD KA $4 PATRON XO CAFE $5 PATRON

605 N. Pennsylvania Street 317.635.3354 www.elbowroompub.com

New Year’s Eve Celebration! NO COVER on the 1st Floor! Doors Open @ 8pm Drink Specials: $4 Bacardi & Malibu $4 Pinnacle Vodkas $5 Jager Bombs $12 Coors Lt. Buckets $4 Local Brew

SATURDAYS

:

PENNY PITCH MONKEY BREERS OF W $3 LONG ISLA NDS

PENNY PITCHERS EVERY NIGHT!

$12 Appetizer Sampler: Wings, Onion Rings, Mozzarella Sticks, Potato Skins (Full Menu until 1 am!) Champagne Toast @ Midnight!

Start the New Year @ The Elbow Room!!

Saturday VARIOUS ARTISTS MR. CLIT AND THE PINK CIGARETTES

Indy’s Jukebox, 306 E. Prospect St., 8 p.m.

If you want to be out and about on Christmas Eve, this is the Indianapolis show for you. Also included on the bill for this Eve jam are Dell Zell, lastnightrights and Jaded Chain.

Thursday

Friday

The Flying Toasters

Zanna Doo

LOW DOUGH NEW YEARS! WITH LIVE MUSIC FROM

BLONDE SONJA! 10OZ NY STRIP $11.95 6OZ FILET $8.95 RED BULL $2.50 CROWN ROYAL $4.50 CAPTAIN MORGAN & ABSOLUT $4

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // music

31


SUBMITTED PHOTO

The Elms

The Last Band on Earth

Triumphant conclusion for The Elms BY RO B N ICHOLS M USIC@ N UVO.NET For the now-defunct Indiana rock band The Elms, their final production — a live DVD and companion soundtrack — proves that the Indiana rockers went out while they still cared. What comes through the speakers in The Last Band on Earth is triumphant American rock-and-roll energy tinged with a layer of final show melancholy. Recorded live at their July 30, 2010 finale at Radio Radio in Indianapolis, the 110-minute, 20-song concert film and 30-track downloadable soundtrack showcases the band’s earnest delivery and amped-up guitar rock punch. Thom Daugherty’s guitar plays a starring role on this set, a majestic sound that’s dirty and elegantly unruly. The guitarist’s energy pushes singer Owen Thomas to a good place, a jubilant, emotional delivery anchored by Daugherty’s raucousness. During the four-hour final performance, The Elms revisited cuts from their entire catalog, pumping out music echoing Bryan Adams and Bruce Springsteen, with Daugherty showing some AC/DC and Aerosmith influence, too. This release melds those influences into a pretty damn good package. The best songs, “Unless God Appears First” and “This is How the World Will End,” cast an anthemic spell, unhurried and heartfelt, blending gospel and American rock

32

music // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

and roll. “The World” borders on epic with a call-and-response duel between Thomas and Daugherty near the end. Thomas’ voice is far from a growl, his soaring vocals punctuated by healthy and genuine shouts of excitement and emotional yelps. His brother, Chris, on drums, delivers Aronoff-like slams and crashes, and gives the band a thunderous rock presence. The group never reaches the lyrical depth of Springsteen, but they draw on The Boss’ gospel and his ability to let the music tense and release. The Elms never completely lost the spiritual feel of their early days as a Christian band in Seymour, IN., and songs like “Bring a Little Love to My Door” and ”Come on Down to the Water” embody those ideals. Tunes like “She’s Cold” and “Strut” show off the band’s other side, more bluesy and groovy. Daugherty, who handled the final audio mix, leaves beautiful space for Nathan Bennett’s solid bass playing. “Thunderhead” and “The Way I Will” highlight the Bryan Adams influence. Like the ’80s rocker, The Elms wield twin guitars, loud drums and lyrics simple and memorable enough to sing along to; this is a mighty good recipe for success in a sweaty club. The music is warmly captured by engineer Mike Petrow, and the final night’s work is injected with a ’70s heartland rock sound. The band’s true success lies with their better-than-a-bar-band Middle American feel. Shot with handheld cameras, the DVD puts the viewer on stage. Edited by Owen Thomas’ multimedia company Absorb, the jittering views give the show a strange energy and a voyeuristic feel, bursting with intricate close shots. The DVD and soundtrack captures The Elms as they reach for something meaningful, doing their thing one last time. „


INDY’S HOTTEST SHOWCLUB

NEW YE EARS EVE PA ARTY

SATURDAY, DEC. 31ST

COUPLES 1/2 PRICE ADMISSION FREE PARTY FAVORS AND CHAMPAGNE TOAST AT MIDNIGHT

317-356-9668 4011 SOUTHEASTERN AVE. 10 mins Southeast of Downtown Hours: Mon-Sat 11am-3am; Sun Noon-3am

We gladly accept other club passes. Text BRASS to 25543 to enroll in our text loyalty program.

WWW.BRADSBRASSFLAMINGO.COM


adult

The Adult section is only for readers over the age of 18. Please be extremely careful to call the correct number including the area code when dialing numbers listed in the Adult section. Nuvo claims no responsibility for incorrectly dialed numbers.

SENSUAL MASSAGE Full Body Rubdown Logan Petite & Sexy Private Shavings $75 Specials-Mondays Thursdays Only Incall Only 317-987-7068 MYA’s SENSUAL MASSAGE OR FETISH I’m Back!! Chocolate, Busty, 38DD-29-44 Long Hair, Pretty Face! No Cash & Dash! No Disappointments! $120/hr (Fetish $150) In Call/Out Call 317-748-3208

DATES BY PHONE #1 Sexiest Urban Chat! Hot Singles are ready to hookup NOW! 18+ FREE to try! 317-536-0909 812-961-0505 www.metrovibechatline.com

&

#1 SEXIEST Pickup line! FREE to try 18+ 317-791-5700 812-961-1515 Call Now! www.nightlinechat.com CALL NOW, MEET TONIGHT! Connect with local men and women in your area. Call for your absolutely FREE trial! 18+ 317-612-4444 812-961-1111 www.questchat.com MEET SOMEONE TONIGHT! Instant live phone connections with local men and women. Call now for a FREE trial! 18+ 317-612-4444 812-961-1111 www.questchat.com Sexy Local Girls! 1-888-660-4446 1-800-990-9377 Hot & Nasty Phone Sex 1-800-811-4048

Advertisers running in the Relaxing Massage section are licensed to practice NON-SEXUAL MASSAGE as a health benefit, and have submitted their license for that purpose. Do not contact any advertisers in the Relaxing Massage section if you are seeking Adult entertainment.

Your Massage With This Coupon

h ut So tion a c Lo

34 adult // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

Joe Jin Oriental Health Spa 1(217)431-1323 2442 Georgetown Rd Danville, Illinois

Hours: Mon.-Sat. 9am - 2am Sun. 10:00 - Midnight

$10.00 off 1hr massage We accept competitors coupons *Reusable Coupon


R.E.L. Spa

NATURAL HEALING BODY WORK

OPEN 7 DAYS MON-SAT 10AM-9PM SUN 11AM-8PM

FLAT RATE First time client special. By appointment only. Call Bonnie 812-2017286 and Teresa 812-841-2390. MENS DEEP TISSUE SPORTS MASSAGE Trained professional male therapist. Special attention to lower back and MASSAGE shoulder stress. Strong nurturing hands. In-home, private studio. AWESOME FULL BODY No judgements no shame. MASSAGE Make your holiday special with NE Geist Area (317) 379-9740 Lee an awesome invigorating experience. Relax with my half price FUNCTIONAL MASSAGE holiday special! Contact Eric 317- I’m Anthony, a professional black masseur. I studied mas903-1265. sage at Melbourne’s Endeavour College of Natural Health. I speFALL RATE SPECIALS! cialize in full body, free-flowing Relax your mind and body. therapeutic (ONLY) bodywork With an Extraordinary Massage. – and my clients rave about Take some time out for yourme! Call 317-728-4458. Take self, you deserve it! Upscale & a journey into relaxation! www. Professional. functionalmassages.com. Call Now! 317-294-5992 DOWNTOWN MASSAGE Got Pain? We can help! 1 Block from Circle. $20 off for new customers. Guaranteed relief. 12pm - 12am by appointment. 317-489-3510

9135 N. Meridian St., Suite A-8 Between 91st and 93rd St. CALL FOR APPOINTMENT, WALK-INS WELCOME GRAND

OPENING

317-777-0577

715 S. RANGELINE RD. CARMEL, IN. 46032 NEXT TO ACE HARDWARE ON THE SAME SIDE

MON-SAT 10AM-10PM; SUN 11AM-10PM

317-569-8716

Open 7 days a week | 10 am - 9 pm

317-837-3300 Grand Opening

Hot Stone & Foot Massage

Zen Spa

Massage

317-838-0661

Hot Stone Massage for Men New Service. $15 off

7 days a week

Directions:465 To Exit 12 Continue West On Hwy 40 For 4.5 Miles On Right Hand Side

Mon-Sat: M o n - S at : 110am-8pm 0am-8pm • S Sun: u n : 111am-6pm 1am-6pm 63 0 N. 630 N . Rangeline R a n g e l i n e Rd., Rd . , S Suite u i te A A,, C Carmel armel 3 1 7- 9 6 6 - 9 1 9 9 • 317-844-9599 317-966-9199 3 1 7- 8 4 4 - 959 9 Vi s i t us Visit u s at Ze ZenSpaMassage.com n S p a M a ss a g e.co m

Mon-Sat 10am-9:30pm Grand Sun Opening 11am-8pm

$10 off your first massage with this coupon.

West of Airport, Route 70 - Exit 66, 1 Block North, Behind Burger King.

3102 E. MAIN ST. PLAINFIELD, IN.

Heal y Hea your our urr Bo Body, dy, Ca C Calm alm lm y your our our Mind,, Free the Spirit. p

Full-body massage

10% Off With This Ad

Crawfordsville Rd We are here

Airport Rd

E. 126TH ST.

2059 E. Hadley Rd., Plainfield, IN 46168

Footloose

136

Ancient Chinese Tai Chi Massage

PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL SERVICE

Massage Therapy

THERAPEUTIC RELAXING MASSAGE Experience Relaxing Therapeutic, Swedish, Deep Tissue and Sports. R U STIFF Breaking your back at work or $50 Incall/ $70 Outcall. gym? Jack tackles it! Light or deep 317-937-6200 sports massage. Aft/Eve. Jack, 645-5020. WILL TRAVEL EMPEROR MASSAGE Stimulus Rates InCall $38/60min, $60/95min. 1st visit. Call for details to discover and experience this incredible Japanese massage. Eastside, avail.24/7 317-431-5105 RELAXING M4M MASSAGE $100 Hot tub and Shower Facilities. www.newmanexperience.com 317-514-6430

Brownsburg

DOVE SPA S. RANGELINE RD.

RELAXING MASSSAGE Advertisers running in the Relaxing Massage section are licensed to practice NON-SEXUAL MASSAGE as a health benefit, and have submitted their license for that purpose. Do not contact any advertisers in the Relaxing Massage section if you are seeking Adult entertainment.

(317) 272-4360

Marathon Gas Station

267

465 36

Rockville Rd

192 N State Road 267

Avon, IN 46123

Avon

MASSAGE Therapy Company Mon-Sat 10am-9pm | Sun 11am-8:30pm 10042 E. 10th St. • 317-941-1575

Mitthoeffer Rd.

HOT STONE MASSAGE

E. 10th St.

Ren Gui Hua - License Registration, City of Indianapolis All employees at same level or above.

nuvo.net 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // adult 35


NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Too many caseworkers per patient Plus, the nadir of absurdity

Only the Government: Stung by criticism in 2007 that they were neglecting severely wounded service members, the Pentagon and the Department of Veterans Affairs have now gone extreme the other way, routinely providing at least a half-dozen (and as many as two dozen) caseworkers per patient. A Government Accountability Office report in October said the result was “duplication, confusion and turf battles,” according to a November Washington Post story, leaving the members and their families often conflicted and overwhelmed about prognoses. At times the Pentagon (serving active-duty personnel) and the VA (ex-military) balked over coordinating their treatments. The agencies, however, told the Post that any duplication was intentional, even though the Post cited military families who each wished they had a single, authoritative case manager they could turn to. A GAO official called the situation “crazy” and “disturbing.”

Can’t Possibly Be True

• The U.S.-Pakistan relationship has reached “the nadir of absurdity,” wrote Wired.com, after a December report in The Atlantic revealed that Pakistan “secures” its tactical nuclear weapons by moving them around the country in ordinary unmarked vans (“without noticeable defenses”). It supposedly uses the “Econolines of Doom,” “hidden” in plain sight on the country’s highways, because it fears the U.S. (its “ally”) would steal the bombs if it knew where they were. Dizzyingly, wrote Wired, the U.S. funds Pakistan yet regularly invades it, though desperately needing Pakistan’s help in Afghanistan, even as Pakistani soldiers fight alongside Afghan insurgents against the U.S. • In October, the super-enthusiastic winners of a Kingston, Ontario, radio station contest claimed their prize: the chance to don gloves and dig for free Buffalo Bills’ football tickets (value: $320), buried in buffalo manure in a child’s plastic inflatable pool. The show’s host, Sarah Crosbie, reported the digging live (but, overcome by the smell, vomited on the air). More curious was a runner-up contestant who continued to muck around for the second prize, even though it was only tickets to a local zoo. • In a federal lawsuit for malicious prosecution, a judge found a “strong” likelihood that EPA agent Keith Phillips “deliberately” set up a hazardous-waste enforcement case against Hubert Vidrine for the purpose of facilitating his own work/sex relationship with a female EPA

36

agent. According to the court, Phillips was married and unable to carry on with the agent (stationed in another city) except when they worked together, which they did periodically over a threeyear period on the Vidrine case. In October, Vidrine was awarded $1.6 million in damages. • Least Competent Plans: (1) L.B. Williams, a black man married to a white woman in Panama City, Fla., reported that the Ku Klux Klan had burned a cross in his driveway in November and left a threatening note. However, the note did not demand that the couple move from the neighborhood; it demanded that they stay. Since the Klan is not known for supporting mixed-race couples, the police were suspicious and ultimately charged Williams with making the threats himself -- to frighten his wife into abandoning the divorce she had recently requested. (2) Paul Moran, possessing (according to his lawyer) “considerable intellectual ability,” nonetheless attempted a procedure to turn his own feces into gold (and was sentenced in October to three months in jail in Enniskillen, Northern Ireland, after accidentally setting his apartment on fire in the process). • Cry for Help: Math teacher Paul LaDuke, 75, was fired in November from the Schaumburg (Ill.) Christian School after a student reported seeing him brazenly masturbate, with his pants lowered, as he sat behind his desk in a full classroom. LaDuke had been at the school for 26 years, and police believe (according to a Chicago Tribune report) he had “committed similar acts at the school several times a year for a decade or longer.”

Fine Points of the Law

• Proportionality: (1) Daniel Vilca, 26, was ordered to prison for the rest of his life (without possibility of parole) following his conviction in Naples, Fla., in November for having pornographic photos of children on his computer. He had no previous criminal record, nor was there evidence of any contact with children. The judge computed the sentence by multiplying a five-year term by the 454 photos police found. (2) A week earlier, a judge in Dayton, Ohio, sentenced former CEO Michael Peppel, 44, for defrauding his shareholders by overstating revenue in a company that went on to lose $298 million and cost 1,300 employees their jobs. Sentencing guidelines recommended an 8- to 10-year term, but federal judge Sandra Beckwith ordered Peppel to jail for seven days. • Dog walker Kimberly Zakrzewski was found not guilty in October of violating the poop-scooping ordinance of Fairfax County, Va., despite photographic “evidence” of dog piles submitted by neighbors Virginia and Christine Cornell (who had previously been feuding with Zakrzewski). The jury chose to give greater weight to testimony by the dog’s owner that the photographed piles were bigger than anything she had ever seen from “Baxter.” The owner also revealed that she had brought to court one of Baxter’s actual piles but decided to leave it in her car.

news of the weird // 12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

Oops! Sorry About That ...

• Bad Shots: (1) A 22-year-old man was shot in the face on Vancouver Island, British Columbia, in September; his companion on the camping trip thought he was shooting at a bear. (2) An 85-year-old man was shot in the face in Augusta, Ga., in September; a female acquaintance thought she was shooting at an opossum. (3) A 20-year-old woman was shot in Vilas County, Wis., in July; deputy sheriff Ty Peterson (a relative) thought he was shooting at a cougar.

The Pervo-American Community

• Can’t Stop Himself: Convicted child-sex offender Charlie Price, 57, was arrested in Pittsfield, Mass., in October, but only for disturbing the peace -because the “victim” was merely made of cardboard. Price, spotting a sunglasses display in a Rite-Aid pharmacy, had begun kissing and licking the face of the pictured model, and groping her.

Crime in the F State

• (1) Two men outfitted as zombies were arrested for assault at a Halloween party at a nudist resort in Pasco County, Fla. (One bit a security guard, but he was not infected.) (2) Jeffrey Lluis, 27, who performed stand-up comedy at clubs around Tampa, apparently held a day job as bank robber (charged in November with knocking off a SunTrust bank -- twice).

Undignified Deaths

• Thinning the Herd: (1) In October, a 30-year-old woman and her unidentified boyfriend were killed as they carried their domestic brawl from their car onto Interstate 485 near Pineville, N.C., and were struck by separate vehicles. (2) A 27-year-old man was killed in a onecar crash in Broward County, Fla., in October. He (a passenger) had punched his wife (the driver) in the face, causing her to lose control and careen into a lake. (She and the couple’s 3-year-old daughter, in the backseat, survived.)

A News of the Weird Classic (July 2007)

• John Moore, 67, golfs nearly every day and has for about 20 years, according to a July (2007) St. Petersburg Times report. The golf he plays, though, consists of hitting 35 long-iron shots (five shots with each of the seven balls he owns) on a grassy median strip along Interstate 275 in downtown Tampa. “You can’t play this game one day, two days in a week,” he said. “You have to play it all the time if you want to do something with it.” What Moore wants to do with it, he told the Times, is to someday soon make his first-ever appearance on an actual golf course.

©2011 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@ earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.


STREET TEAM

classifieds

TO ADVERTISE: Phone: (317) 808-4609 E-mail: acassel@nuvo.net Mail: Classifieds 3951 N. Meridian St., Suite 200 Indianapolis, Indiana 46208

PAYMENT, & ADVERTISING DEADLINE All ads are prepaid in full by Monday at 5 P.M. Nuvo gladly accepts Cash, Money Order, & All Major Credit Cards.

POLICIES: Advertiser warrants that all goods or services advertised in NUVO are permissible under applicable local, state and federal la ws. Advertisers and hired advertising agencies are liable for all content (including text, representation and illustration) of advertisements and are res ponsible, without limitation, for any and all claims made thereof against NUVO, its officers or employees. Classified ad space is limited and granted on a first come, first served basis. To qualify for an adjustment, any error must be reported within 15 days of publication date. Credit for errors is limited to first insertion.

RENTALS

HOW WE’RE KICK STARTING THE NEW YEAR DA Nuclear New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve Masquerade Ball

Featuring: Margot & the Nuclear So & So’s

Saturday, Dec. 31st, 8:30pm

Saturday, Dec. 31st, 7:30pm

Majestic Grand Hall, Union Station

the Amber Room, Old National Centre

FOR MORE EVENTS THIS WEEK EK EK

m a e T t e e r t S / NUVO.net STALK US

Homes for sale | Rentals Mortgage Services | Roommates To advertise in Real Estate, Call Nuvo classifieds @ 808-4609

RENTALS DOWNTOWN BEHIND PEPPY GRILL 1 Bedroom. Just Remodeled. Appliances and utilities included. $600/mo. 317-730-0782 NEWLY RESTORED NEAR NORTHSIDE Herron Morton Place. 19th and Ala. 2BR, 1BA, off-street parking, fenced, all electric, Heat pump and hard wood floors. $585 month, 1 yr lease. 317432-0951.

MAPLE COURT Ask about our Move-In Specials! 2BR/1BA Apartments completely renovated! In the heart of BR Village, Great Dining, Entertainment & Shopping at your doorstep. On-site laundries & free storage. Rents range from $675 - $795. Call 317-257-5770

SPECIAL!! Huge 2 and 3 bedroom apartments and townhomes! 1 full month’s rent free! Call 317-846STUDIO, DOWNTOWN $415 central heat/AC, great place! 317- 5908 for details! 403-9351 or twcre@att.net THE GRANVILLE & THE WAITING LIST OPEN WINDEMERE Subsidized 2bdm, Old Northside. Ask about Move-In Specials! 730-0930 1BR & 2BR/1BA Apartments in the heart of BR Village. RENTALS NORTH Great Dining, Entertainment BROADRIPPLE AREA & Shopping at your doorstep. Newly decorated apartments near On-site laundries & free storMonon Trail. Spacious, quiet, age. secluded. Starting $475. 5300 Rents range from $575-$600 Carrollton Ave. 257-7884. EHO WTR-SWR & HEAT PAID. CARMEL Call 317-257-5770

ROOMMATES

RENTAL NEEDED FOR THE BIG GAME IN FEB. Need Low Cost Rental for four days. 1-2 bedrooms, no need to be close to Stadium. Call 810423-9464.

HOMES FOR SALE WEST

EAGLE CREEK

On water! Stunning 2BR, 1.5 BA townhome w/private deck & water view. Fireplace, cathedral ceiling, master suite, all appliances, low utilities. Why pay rent? Virtual Tour at www.circlepix.com/WR5MXE.

ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www. Roommates.com. (AAN CAN) CASTLETON ESTATES Share my safe, quiet, comfortable, friendly home including utilities, cable, and Hi-speed. $110/ week. 317-813-1017 ROOMMATES PRIVACY LOCKS If you are renting a room out Or a tenant, you can feel safer. With our portable door lock. Visit: www.roommatesprivacylocks.com

MORTGAGE SERVICES APPLE PIE MORTGAGE Purchase or Refinance Today! Minimum credit score 620 317-387-9622 www.applepiemtg.com

Call 216-4397

Twin Lakes Apartments All Utilities Paid Apts & Townhomes (317)-846-2538.

CONDO: • Modern style 2 bedroom, 2 bath • 1450 square feet • 50 feet from the beach • Panoramic views of sunsets on Banderas Bay and Marina Riviera Nayarit • Swimming pool, gym, laundry room, 24 hour security• Located a few blocks from the Marina Riviera Nayarit (best Marina in Mexico!)

VISITORS INFO: www.marinarivieranayarit.com • www.lacruzdehuanacaxtle.com • www.visitpuertovallarta.com • www.vallarta-adventures.com

Phone: (951) 637-1238 Email: ylozano67@yahoo.com www.bigbridgetravel.com/portal/ listings/P25321

*7:-,'

V]^WVM\\QUM]KS [

Timesuck

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 classifieds

37


EARN $75-$200 HOUR (Now 25% Off), Media Makeup & Airbrush Training. For Ads, TV, Film, Fashion. 1 wk class &. Portfolio. AwardMakeUpSchool. ARTIST NEEDED To instruct a step by step class com 310-364-0665 (AAN CAN) in painting portraits in an upbeat environment. $20/hour. Nights & RESTAURANT/ Weekends. Call 317-413-8490 or BAR sales@essenceofgreen.com KARAOKE HOST WANTED CASTING FOR LIVE For Bar. Equipment Provided. INFOMERCIALS! 317-374-9436 LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! Casting 6 Ambitious, Creative, DATSA PIZZA and Outgoing ACTORS! Now hiring Cooks and Servers. Looking for a Flexible Schedule? No Experience. Free Parking. Enjoy meeting new people? Please apply within: 907 N. Ready to deliver a passionate Pennsylvania message? between 2-4pm LIVE INFOMERCIALS! Email Resume at www.jescojobs. HOST, HOSTESSES, com SERVER ASSISTANTS & DANCERS WANTED EXPERIENCED SERVERS CLUB VENUS Day and night availabil“A Gentlemen’s Club” ity. Fine dining experience Apply in Person 3pm required. Please apply 3535 W. 16TH ST. - 638-1788 between 2 - 4pm in person at 50 S. Capitol Ave on the second floor of the Westin. *DANCE LIKE THE STARS* Rare Opportunity, Five Star Dance Studios is now taking applications for various positions. See how you may qualify to join the largest dance organization in the world. Rapid advancement, paid travel, all the excitement you are looking for, no experience necessary, sales or dance background helpful. Apply in Person between 2pm & 10pm Greenwood Location (County Line, Across from NOW HIRING WAITRESSES & COOKS Mall) Jake’s Pub 317-881-7762 Carmel Location (116th & 1280 Southport Rd. Indianapolis, IN 46217 Keystone, Merchants Plaza) Come in between 11am-5pm 317-843-1110 Fishers Location (8510 E. or Call 317-865-8888 www.JakesSportsPub.com 96th St, Suite F) 317-841-9445

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Restaurant | Healthcare Salon/Spa | General To advertise in Employment, Call Adam @ 808-4609

CAREER TRAINING NEEDED: People totrain as a CARDIOVASCULAR SONOGRAPHER! Train in this exciting career and you could help save lives! Call now to get started! 877-810-5444 Sanford-Brown College 4030 Vincennes Rd. Indianapolis, IN 46268 sanfordbrown.edu AC-0036 You CAN do it! Change your life! Train to become a Pharmacy Technician. You could pursue work in drug stores, clinics and hospitals. A simple phone call could change your life. 877-810-5444 Sanford-Brown College 4030 Vincennes Rd. Indianapolis, IN 46268 Sanford-Brown College cannot guarantee employment or salary sanfordbrown.edu AC-0036

38 classifieds //

Dialysis Technology! With training from Sanford-Brown College, Pursue Career Opportunities in: • Outpatient Clinics • Hospitals & Emergency Rooms • Specialized Centers • And much more CALL NOW for a new beginning! 877-810-7444 4030 Vincennes Rd. Indianapolis, IN 46268 sanfordbrown.edu Advertising Code: AC-0036

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCED TATTOO ARTIST NEEDED 3-5 years shop experience required. Must have solid portfolio. Terre Haute Location. Contact Mike 812-230-1213

SALES/MARKETING RELOCATION COMPANY Seeking Office Assistant & Sales People. Please email resume to: benjamin@1mastermovers.com or 317-716-5529

SALON/SPA HAIRSTYLISTS Booth Rent Only. $150-$175/wk, Private Room. Northeast Side. Call Suz 317-490-7894

12.21.11-12.28.11 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience RELOCATION COMPANY Seeking Dispatchers & Drivers. Necessary! Call our Live Drivers must have chauffer’s Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easyworklicense or better. benjamin@1mastermovers.com greatpay.com (AAN CAN) 317-716-5529

DRIVERS

GENERAL Paid In Advance! Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home! Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.net (AAN CAN)

FULL TIME

Activists/Full Time Are you part of the 99%? Citizens Action Coalition has been fighting for the 99% since 1974! Get paid to fight for corporate accountability and social justice! M-F 2-10:30pm $325+/wk (317) 205-3503 www.citact.org

We are looking to add NEW talent to out team!

Now Hiring Full and Part Time Valet ParkersGreat Tip Potential

Accepting applications at:

WWW.TOWNEPARK.COM Towne Park is an equal opportunity employer.

Snips in Historic Irvington 5731 E. Washington St. Indianapolis, In. 46219

Full-Service salon seeks a nail technician and a stylist who both possess professional attitudes and the drive to succeed. Apply within, no calls please.

$8,000 INTRODUCTORY TUITION Alternative financing available

Part-time classes

Full-time class

Class #1 Class #2 Saturday, 9-5:30 Sunday, 9-5:30 Monday 6-10pm Monday 6-10pm

Class #3 Monday through Thursday 9am-2pm


FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

© 2011 BY ROB BRESZNY Services | Misc. for Sale Musicians B-Board | Pets To advertise in Marketplace, Call Adam @ 808-4609

MISC. FOR SALE

Advertisers running in the CERTIFIED MASSAGE THERAPY section have graduated from a massage therapy school associated with one of four organizations:

VIAGRA FOR CHEAP 317-507-8182

ANNOUNCEMENTS MORGAN JOHNSON MISSING!!! from Plainfield, IN. 27yrs. old, Black Male, 5’8”, 155lbs. Has Seizure Disorder - Needs Medicine. Driving White, 4 Door 1995 Pontiac Grand Am. License #JS1830. If you have any information, please contact: Captain Arndt, Plainfield, Indiana Police Department 317-839-8700 OR 911 Facebook: www.facebook.com/findmorganjohnson

SERVICES HOUSE

BUSINESSES FOR SALE

MULTICULTURAL BARBER/ BEAUTY SHOP Tuesdays Buy (1) HairCut @ Reg Price 2nd HairCut 50% Off 120 So. Girls School Road Indianapolis, IN 46231 317-271-4247

UNIK BOUTIQUE FOR SALE Women’s Fashion Clothing Retail Boutique 1200 sq.ft. total, 800 sq.ft. display floor. Prime Location Crooked Creek Shoppes 7940 N. Michigan Rd. Suite #7 Indianapolis, IN 46268 Call 317-334-1045

WANTED AUTO CASH FOR CARS We buy cars, trucks, vans, runable or not or wrecked. Open 24/7. 317709-1715. FREE HAUL AWAY ON JUNK CARS.

MUSIC INSTRUCTION PATIENT TEACHER Piano, Voice, Guitar, Songwriting. Butler Grad. Experienced! Email: musicbymichael@aol.com. “NUVO” in subject.

Certified Massage Therapists Yoga | Chiropractors | Counseling To advertise in Body/Mind/Spirit, Call Ryan @ 808-4607

FINANCIAL SERVICES DROWNING IN DEBT? Ask us how we can help. Geiger Conrad & Head LLP Attorneys at Law 317.608.0798 www.gch-law.com As a debt relief agency, we help people file for bankruptcy. 1 N. Pennsylvania St. Suite 500 Indianapolis, IN 46204

LEGAL SERVICES LICENSE SUSPENDED? Call me, an experienced Traffic Law Attorney,I can help you with: Hardship Licenses-No Insurance Suspensions-Habitual Traffic Violators-Relief from Lifetime Suspensions-DUI-Driving While Suspended & All Moving Traffic Violations! Christopher W. Grider, Attorney at Law FREE CONSULTATIONS www.indytrafficattorney.com 317-686-7219

ADOPTION PREGNANT? ADOPTION CAN BE YOUR FRESH START! Let Amanda, Kate or Abbie meet you for lunch and talk about your options. Their Broad Ripple agency offers free support, living expenses and a friendly voice 24 hrs/day. YOU choose the family from happy, carefully-screened couples. Pictures, letters, visits & open adoptions available. Listen to our birth mothers’ stories at www.adoptionsupportcenter.com 317-255-5916 The Adoption Support Center

American Massage Therapy Association (amtamassage.org)

International Massage Association (imagroup.com)

Association of Bodywork and Massage Professionals (abmp.com)

International Myomassethics Federation (888-IMF-4454)

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the fictional world of the wizard Harry Potter, muggles are people who have no magical powers. Because of their deficiency, certain sights may be literally invisible to them, and certain places inaccessible. I’m going to boldly predict that you Aries people will lose at least some of your muggleness in the coming year. A part of your life where you’ve been inept or clueless will begin to wake up. In ways that may feel surprisingly easy, you’ll be able to fill a gap in your skill set or knowledge base.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): On January 15, 1885, Wilson Bentley photographed his first snowflake. Over the course of the Additionally, one can not be a member of these four organizations next 46 years, he captured 5,000 more images of but instead, take the test AND/OR have passed the National Board what he called “tiny miracles of beauty.” He was of Therapeutic Massage & Bodywork exam (ncbtmb.com). the first person to say that no two snowflakes are alike. In 2012, Taurus, I suggest that you draw Treat yourself to the best. CERTIFIED MASSAGE inspiration from his example. The coming months Come, relax, and indulge. Sky. THERAPISTS will be prime time for you to lay the foundations 317-640-4902. for a worthy project that will captivate your imagiISLAND WAVE MASSAGE You Should not Have To nation for a long time -- and perhaps even take Tuesday-Ladies 1/2 Off! grow inflexible Swedish, Deep Tissue by Certi- you decades to complete. loose your sensual fluidity forget what innocence is Get MYOFASCIAL RELEASE!

Constipate have gas or acid reflex have cold or inflammation GET ENZYME NUTRITION NOW! Visa, MC, AmEx, Discover West Carmel or West 38 www.BlueSwanZuni.com Call Dr. Jeren 317 752 0369 For a fantastic massage you know and love. Call Clowie. 317-205-6550 Relax the Body, Calm the Mind, Renew the Spirit. Theraeutic massage by certified therapist with over 9 years experience. IN/OUT calls available. Near southside location. Call Bill 317-374-8507 www.indymassage4u.com GOT PAIN OR STRESS? Rapid and dramatic results from a highly trained, caring professional with 13 years experience. www. connective-therapy.com: Chad A. Wright, ACBT, COTA, CBCT 317-372-9176 COUPLES MASSAGE INSTRUCTION By Certified Therapist $140 Northwest Indy Fred Freeman (317)513-4676 www.massagewerksindy.com Christmas Special!

fied Therapist In Call/Out Call Available. Call Rex 765-481-9192 EMPEROR MASSAGE Stimulus Rates InCall $38/60min, $60/95min. 1st visit. Call for details to discover and experience this incredible Japanese massage. Eastside, avail.24/7 317-431-5105 MASSAGE BY MISTI In Carmel 317-804-4216 MASSAGEINDY.COM Walk-ins Welcome Starting at $35. 2604 E. 62nd St. 317-721-9321 REDUCE STRESS AND MUSCULAR PAIN 1425 E. 86th Street. Call Ron. 317-257-5377. www.ronhudgins.com PRO MASSAGE Top Quality, Swedish, Deep Tissue Massage in Quiet Home Studio. Near Downtown. From Certified Therapist. Paul 317362-5333 MASSAGE IN WESTFIELD By Licensed Therapist. $40/hr. Call Mike 317-867-5098

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In her memoir Blood, Bones & Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef, Gabrielle Hamilton suggests my horoscopes were helpful to her as she followed her dream to create her New York City restaurant, Prune. “I killed roaches, poisoned their nests, trapped rats, stuffed their little holes with steel wool and glass shards,” she wrote, “while my girlfriend . . . walked through the place ‘purifying’ it with a burning sage smudge stick and read me my Rob Brezsny horoscopes in support.” I would love to be of similar service to you in the coming months, Gemini, as you cleanse whatever needs to be cleansed in preparation for your next big breakthrough. Let the fumigation, purgation, and expiation begin! CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 1992, 30,000 Americans signed a petition asking the governor of Hawaii to change the name of Maui to “Gilligan’s Island.” Fortunately, the request was turned down, and so one of the most sublime places on the planet is not now named after a silly TV sitcom. I’m urging you to avoid getting swept up in equally fruitless causes during the coming months, Cancerian. You will have a lot of energy to give to social causes and collective intentions in 2012, but it will be very important to choose worthy outlets that deserve your intelligent passion and that have half a chance of succeeding. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Palace of Versailles once served as home for French kings and their royal courts, and was the hub of the French government. To this day it remains a symbol of lavish wealth and high civilization. Set on 26 acres, it has 700 rooms, 67 staircases, 6,000 paintings, and 2,100 sculptures. The grounds feature 50 fountains and 21 miles of water conduits. And yet the word “Versailles” means “terrain where the weeds have been pulled.” Prior to it being built up into a luxurious center of power, it was a marsh in the wilderness. I nominate it to be your inspirational image for the coming year, Leo: a picture of the transformation you will begin. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A guy named George Reiger is a certifiable Disney freak. He has covered his skin with 2,200 tattoos of the franchise’s cartoon characters. If you plan to get anything like that much thematic body decoration in 2012, Virgo, I recommend that you draw your inspiration from cultural sources with more substantial artistry and wisdom than Disney. For example, you could cover your torso with paintings by Matisse, your arms with poems by Neruda, and your legs with musical scores by Mozart. Why? In the coming months it will be important for you to surround yourself with the highest influences and associate yourself with the most inspiring symbols and identify yourself with the most ennobling creativity.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the Classical Nahuatl language of the Aztecs, the word teocuitlatl literally meant “god poop.” It was used to refer to gold, which was regarded as a divine gift that brought mixed blessings. On the one hand, gold made human beings rich. On the other hand, it could render them greedy, stingy, and paranoid. So it was potentially the source of both tremendous bounty and conflict. I suspect that in 2012, Libra, you will have to deal with the arrival of a special favor that carries a comparable paradox. You should be fine -- harvesting the good part of the gift and not having to struggle mightily with the tough part -- as long as you vow to use it with maximum integrity. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): What spell would you like to be under in 2012? Be careful how you answer that; it might be a trick question. Not because I have any interest in fooling you, of course, but rather because I want to prepare you for the trickiness that life may be expressing in your vicinity. So let me frame the issue in a different way. Do you really want to be under a spell -- of any kind? Answer yes only if you’re positive that being under a spell will help you manifest your biggest dream. And please make sure that whoever or whatever is the source of the spell is in the service of love. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The Environmental Working Group wrote the Meat Eater’s Guide to Climate Change and Health. It concluded that if every American avoided eating cheese and meat one day a week, emissions would be lowered as much as they would be by removing 7.6 million cars from the roads. This is the kind of incremental shift I urge you to specialize in during 2012, Sagittarius -- whether it’s in your contribution to alleviating the environmental crisis or your approach to dealing with more personal problems. Commit yourself to making little changes that will add up to major improvements over the long haul. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Suzan-Lori Parks is a celebrated American playwright who has won both a Pulitzer Prize and a MacArthur Foundation “Genius” Grant. During the time between November 2002 and November 2003, she wrote a new short play every day -- a total of 365 plays in 365 days. I think you could be almost as prolific as that in 2012, Capricorn. Whatever your specialty is, I believe you will be filled with originality about how to express it. You’re also likely to have the stamina and persistence and, yes, even the discipline necessary to pull it off. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Pigeons are blessed with an extraordinary ability to find home, even if they’re hundreds of miles away. They have an internal compass that allows them to read the Earth’s magnetic field, and they also create a “map of smells” that gives them crucial clues as they navigate. A team of scientists performed some odd experiments that revealed a quirky aspect to the birds’ talent: If their right nostril is blocked, their innate skill doesn’t work nearly as well. (It’s OK if their left nostril is blocked, though.) What does this have to do with you? Well, Aquarius, you’ve been like a homing pigeon with its right nostril blocked, and it’s high time you unblocked it. In the coming months, you can’t afford to be confused about where home is, what your community consists of, or where you belong. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): One of Alexander the Great’s teachers was Aristotle, who was tutored by Plato, who himself learned from Socrates. In 2012, I’d love to see you draw vital information and fresh wisdom from a lineage as impressive as that, Pisces. In my astrological opinion, you need much more than a steady diet of factoids plucked from the Internet and TV. You simply must be hungry for more substantial food for thought than you get from random encounters with unreliable sources. It will be time for you to attend vigorously to the next phase of your life-long education.

Homework: If you’d like to enjoy my books, music, and videos without spending any money, go here: http://bit.ly/LiberatedGifts.

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.21.11-12.28.11 classifieds 39


LICENSE SUSPENDED? Call me, the original Indy Traffic Attorney, I can help you with: Hardship Licenses Probationary Licenses No Insurance Suspensions Habitual Traffic Violator Charges and Suspensions Lifetime Suspensions Uninsured Accident Suspensions Child Support Suspensions Opearting While Intoxicated Charges and Suspensions BMV Suspensions, Hearings, and Appeals Court Imposed Suspensions All Moving Traffic Violations and Suspensions

Free Consultations Christopher W. Grider, Attorney at Law www.indytrafficattorney.com

317-686-7219

TO ADVERTISE ON HOTLINE CALL 254-2400

TOP DOLLAR PAID

We pay more for cars, trucks, vans, runable or not or wrecked. Open 24/7. FREE HAUL AWAY ON JUNK CARS!

317-709-1715.

FAST CASH 4 VEHICLES

PAYING TOP $$ FOR JUNK & RUNNABLES! $200-$500

317-989-0379 Full Body Massage $28 Fast relief from stress and pain. Head to toe relaxation.

Diabetics/Stimulate circulation. Reflexology. Jerry 317-788-1000.

GUITAR LESSON GIFT CERT. Buy/Sell/Trade + Live Music for Events Rob Swaynie-Jazz/Blues/Rock www.indyguitar.com 291-9495

KENTUCKYKLUB

Female DANCERS needed. NE Corner of Kentucky & Raymond. No house fees. 241-2211 Leave Message.

MORECASHFORCARS!! Junk Cars Too, Free Pickup/Tow Fast

1-800-687-9971

MuscleForMuscle.com Therapeutic, Sports, Deep Tissue & Swedish Massage, 750-5668.

PAID FOR SPECIAL ABILITIES Volunteers with special abilities such as ESP, sixth sense, perception of auras, or clairvoyance needed for research study of perception, attention, and personality at Indiana University School of Medicine. You should be in good health, and between the ages of 18 and 55. Participants will be paid. Call (317) 941-4502 for more information.

HERBAL INCENSE BEST QUALITY LOWEST PRICE GUARANTEED

DISCOUNT TOBACCO

EVERYTHING FOR EVERY TYPE OF SMOKER www.IndySmokeShop.com ww.IndySmokeShop.com • Open Monday y through Sunday y | 9am - Midnig Midnight SOUTH SIDE 6918 Madison Ave 317-405-9502

EAST SIDE 4783 North Post Road 317-222-5281

WEST SIDE 5629 Georgetown Road 317-292-9697

3561 Shelby Street 317-426-3048

3535 S. Emerson Ave. 317-222-6418

3121 Kentucky Avenue 317-292-9479

BLOOMINGTON (NOW OPEN) 3295 West 3rd Street Bloomington, IN 47403

Martinsville Coming Soon!

7016 Shore Terrace (Next to Main Event Bar) 317-591-9795

NUVO: Indy's Alternative Voice - December 21, 2011  

A Barfly Christmas Carol