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THIS WEEK VOL. 23 ISSUE 40 ISSUE #1084

er l Truck Hau ng

cover story

in this issue

Surl

y Lo

DEC. 19 - 26, 2012

THE QUESTION IS, WHERE WON’T IT TAKE YOU? Mon-Fri 10-7, Sat 10-5, Sun Closed • 6847 W. Washington St, 46241 • 317.241.4660

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APOCALYPOLIS!

Want to learn to say Apocalypolis? Uh-POC-uh-LIP-uh-liss. There you go! Now you can follow the fascinating tale of the coming Mayan-predicted end of the world, and how that end will begin — right here in Apocalypolis. ST O R Y AN D ILLUST R AT IO N B Y W AY N E B ER T SC H

A&E CLASSIFIEDS COVER STORY FOOD FREE WILL ASTROLOGY HAMMER HOPPE LETTERS MOVIES MUSIC NEWS WEIRD NEWS

hammer

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PROTECTING THE CHILDREN

The parents of 20 children in Connecticut grieve and we grieve with them. President Barack Obama was wise to read passages from the Holy Bible during his address Sunday night. Only Scripture can attempt to make sense of the horror of last Friday’s school shooting. We certainly can’t.

news

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GUARDS SEEKING SECURITY

at Epworth United Methodist Church

Tiara Johnson and Tonya Yarborough have a lot in common. Both women are mothers, and both are security guards with several years of experience. Johnson works for a Wishard Health Services contractor at the construction site for the new Eskenazi Hospital in Indianapolis; Yarborough works in the financial district in Chicago. BY FRAN QUIGLEY

Located at the corner of 65th Street and Allisonville Road.

6:00 p.m. Family Friendly Service 11:00 p.m. Candle Light Service www.epworthindy.org

ae feature

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SUPER-SIZING MOVIES FOR AMERICA

Judd Apatow‘s new film, This is 40, is a sorta sequel to Knocked Up, starring Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann, Apatow’s wife (their two daughters play the daughters in the movie). INTERVIEW BY ED JOHNSON-OTT

Come and Celebrate Christmas with us

music

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GIZMOS RUMBLE AGAIN

Being a punk in Indiana today is easy; simply rip off your favorite bands, post some demos to your Facebook page, hop on a few shows at the Mel and you’re good to go. Being a punk in Indiana in 1977, however, was a completely different story. BY NICK SELM

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ARTICLES

ISDA awards bioenergy leadership by Jordan Martich An interview at the end of the world by Sean Armie Winter snap-shots by Katelyn Coyne “No” to same-sex marriage and tax cuts by The Statehouse File

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All-star benefit has highs and lows by Scott Hall Increased funding for full-day kindergarten by The Statehouse File

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IndyCar’s holiday messages to NUVO

EDITORIAL POLICY: N UVO N ewsweekly covers news, public issues, arts and entertainment. We publish views from across the political and social spectra. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. MANUSCRIPTS: NUVO welcomes manuscripts. We assume no responsibility for returning manuscripts not accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed envelope. DISTRIBUTION: The current issue of NUVO is free. Past issues are at the NUVO office for $3 if you come in, $4.50 mailed. N UVO is available every Wednesday at over 1,000 locations in the metropolitan area. Limit one copy per customer.

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LETTERS We don’t normally print letters that aren’t in response to our published content. But, given the season, we could not resist sharing this letter from prison:

Holding happiness hostage In prisons all over the world there is no doubt a shortage of holiday cheerfulness. It seems as if leftover cold turkey eaten after midnight transforms guards into gremlins determined to destroy our happiness. Before I reach the chorus of “Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer,” a guard homes in on me like a heat-seeking missile. “No singing!” “No dancing!” “No, you may not festoon your bed with strands of popcorn!” Once, a guard threatened to confiscate my Santa hat. Feigning indignation, I ripped the red and white cap off my head and sulked away like a grounded teenager, trying my best not to laugh. Last year, a female guard discovered a family of miniature snow people living beneath my cell window. I watched with a silent scream face as she kicked off their tiny heads and stomped their bodies to snow dust, grinning with glee the whole time. What could I do? No matter how hateful a person acts we do not have to suffer their grinchiness, because suffering is a choice. I noted, if someone shushes your singing, destroys your decorations, or squashes your snow people, forgive them, for they live in a prison of their own making. The best gift you can give to the grinches and gremlins in your life is a heart full of compassion. You have the choice to be joyful, so have a happy holiday, anyway.

— Sarah Jo Pender

Fear mongers & red herrings Mr. Wyss, I advise you to do some research on the effects of marijuana as compared to alcohol (Op-ed by state senator Thomas Wyss). You obviously are working from some incorrect and outdated ideas. As a state senator it is your job to be knowledgeable about the issues you decide, and if this post, with its complete lack of any scientific evidence and its comparison of marijuana with spice and bath salts is any indication, you clearly haven’t been doing your homework. Indiana deserves better from their legislators than fearmongering and red-herring fallacies.

— Alix Naveh

It’s too bad so many people are ignorant to what marijuana is and what it does in the body by comparison to meth, alcohol, bath salts, cocaine, etc. Marijuana is a natural substance to which the properties are exactly what is already in the body...leaving absolutely NO COMPARISON to any of the above mentioned “drugs”. It’s like comparing a tomato plant to the effects of nuclear waste. Google “endocannbinoid” and get some real facts and statistics on this cancer killing plant before more people suffer because of ignorance and decades of misleading information of the REAL effects of cannabis.

— HempCJNews

Very confusing Having listened annually to Amahl and the Night Visitors for 50+ years (reviewed last week by Rita Kohn), I found it very confusing to have opera portrayed as the dream of a modern-day disabled boy - complete with a creche. The magic and meaning of the story was lost by an attempt to make it current and real. Also, the mother’s lament about rich people (inequities) lacked the sense of great grief I have usually experienced.

— Anna

Rendered awestruck You are a bad ass (reply to Katelyn Coyne’s The Bicycle Diaries of a Big Girl). I haven’t read your blog is a while. I believe the last time you were just getting started. Congratulations on adapting and adopting. I’ll add you to my Reader - thanks!

— Jack Nolan

I just started commuting last week. New to downtown. I am LOVING riding to work. I, too, love my lights. And the moon and lights render me awestruck some nights. Now I need some boots.

— Shelly Williams

Taking Hammer to task Hammer says, “Young people know what it’s like to be constantly harassed over the phone by bill collectors. Like them, I also do not like to pay back — or even discuss payment arrangements with — those to whom I am indebted”. Nice responsible citizen, not paying his bills. Could be the reason we are in trouble. And he supports states violating national law by passing legalize pot laws ... hmmm ...but when states were passing illegal immigration laws ... HEY, you can’t do that. You are violating national laws. Look in the Mirror of Truth, Hammer, I think you will see the problem.

— Roger That

WRITE TO NUVO

Letters to the editor should be sent c/o NUVO Mail. They should be typed and not exceed 300 words. Editors reserve the right to edit for length, etc. Please include a daytime phone number for verification. Send email letters to: editors@nuvo.net or leave a comment on nuvo.net, Facebook and Twitter.

STAFF

EDITOR & PUBLISHER KEVIN MCKINNEY // KMCKINNEY@NUVO.NET EDITORIAL // EDITORS@NUVO.NET MANAGING EDITOR/CITYGUIDES EDITOR JIM POYSER // JPOYSER@NUVO.NET NEWS EDITOR REBECCA TOWNSEND // RTOWNSEND@NUVO.NET ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR SCOTT SHOGER // SSHOGER@NUVO.NET MUSIC EDITOR KATHERINE COPLEN // KCOPLEN@NUVO.NET CALENDAR // CALENDAR@NUVO.NET FILM EDITOR ED JOHNSON-OTT COPY EDITOR GEOFF OOLEY CONTRIBUTING EDITORS STEVE HAMMER, DAVID HOPPE CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS WAYNE BERTSCH CONTRIBUTING WRITERS TOM ALDRIDGE, MARC ALLAN, JOSEFA BEYER, WADE COGGESHALL, SUSAN WATT GRADE, ANDY JACOBS JR., SCOTT HALL, RITA KOHN, LORI LOVELY, SUSAN NEVILLE, PAUL F. P. POGUE, ANDREW ROBERTS, CHUCK SHEPHERD, MATTHEW SOCEY, JULIANNA THIBODEAUX EDITORIAL ASSISTANTS JORDAN MARTICH, JENNIFER TROEMNER EDITORIAL INTERNS JOEY MEGAN HARRIS, AUDREY OGLE

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HAMMER Balancing gun rights, public safety Protecting children should be priority

C

BY STEVE HAMMER SHAMMER@NUVO.NET

harlotte, Daniel, Olivia, Josephine, Ana, Dylan, Madeline, Catherine, Chase, Jesse, James, Grace, Emilie, Jack, Noah, Caroline, Jessica, Benjamin, Avielle and Allison. We see lists of children’s names all the time. Choirs, sports teams, spelling bee champions and such. The success and growth of our children enriches us all. But the parents of 20 children in Connecticut grieve and we grieve with them. President Barack Obama was wise to read passages from the Bible during his address Sunday night. Only Scripture can attempt to make sense of the horror of last Friday’s school shooting. We certainly can’t. The mass murder epidemic in the United States is out of control. Every public place is now a potential kill zone. No mall, movie theater, school or office seems safe. What was once a rare occurrence is now almost routine. Every time there’s a mass murder spree, some people say things such as, “This isn’t the day to discuss gun control” and criticize those who do. In one sense they are absolutely correct. Families need time to mourn; it takes time for all of us to wrap our minds around the fact 20 first-graders were gunned down at their school. Even if it wasn’t a good day to discuss gun control on Tuesday, chances are these same people won’t find today a good day either. When will that day come? On Dec. 21, when the Mayan calendar ends? Christmas Day? Martin Luther King Day? Arbor Day? Guns, when not being fired, don’t kill people. Your neighbor’s World War II rifle in its glass case poses a threat to no one. A deer rifle when properly used usually only endangers deer and other hunters. But allowing America to be the world’s leader of putting sophisticated, militarygrade rifles into the hands of its own citizens is threatening to make our nation no more secure than Afghanistan or Lebanon. How can the nation not afford to address the issue of gun control? There is a cult of gun hoarders who make a mockery of the Second Amendment’s so-called right to bear arms by bearing them by the hundreds. Even moderate steps, such as background checks and limiting gun magazine sizes, are too oppressive for these people. The man arrested in Cedar Lake, Ind.,

on Saturday for threatening to kill as many schoolchildren as he could had 47 guns. I’ve never heard of Cedar Lake before, but I bet his gun collection isn’t the biggest in town. Guns don’t kill people, but gun owners who obsessively collect guns the way I once collected baseball cards do kill people. Today is a good day to discuss gun violence and how to decrease it while maintaining the lawful rights of honest, law-abiding people who wish to shoot for sport or to own a gun for personal protection. You don’t need a Russian assault rifle to fend off a home invader or someone who’s trying to rob you on the street, and you most certainly do not need thousands of rounds of ammunition in order to do so. But the response from some is that we need even more weapons out there. Maybe the recent tragedies would have been averted if all schoolteachers, movie theater and mall employees were equipped with assault rifles. Maybe all students, moviegoers and mall shoppers should also have assault weapons as well, in order to act as a check on the teachers and concession-stand workers. The weapon the shooter in Newtown, Conn., used was an AR-15 rifle, a weapon designed to kill many people in a very short period of time. It’s also the most popular rifle in America and is apparently endlessly customizable. Gun dealers can’t keep them on the shelves, according to a New York Times story, with at least 3.5 million of them in circulation. Maybe we need to remove all concealment laws and walk around with our guns on display at all times. Maybe that will solve the problem of violence. Or maybe there should instead be a reasonable compromise with mental health evaluations, restrictions on the deadliest forms of ammunition and limits on the sizes of individual gun collections. Doesn’t that make more sense than becoming a nation where everyone is armed to the teeth? I understand the rights of lawful gun owners. But President Obama spoke of another right, one given to us by our Creator and not the Constitution. It is the most sacred and joyful of rights —the right to raise our children without fear of them being murdered at any given time. The president talked of struggles in life. “We’ll make mistakes, we’ll experience hardships and even when we’re trying to do the right thing, we know that much of our time will be spent groping through the darkness, so often unable to discern God’s heavenly plans,” he said. “There’s only one thing we can be sure of, and that is the love that we have for our children, for our families, for each other. The warmth of a small child’s embrace, that is true.” The right to love our children supersedes any Second Amendment right. The time is long past for us to protect them, and ourselves, from outrageous attacks by crazed gun aficionados. We demand that our lawmakers and law enforcers enforce this right.„

“Today is a good day to discuss gun violence and how to decrease it …”

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HOPPE Michigan, meet Indiana How to gut a union

I

BY DAVID HOPPE DHOPPE@NUVO.NET

ndiana made the national news last week. And not just because the girls’ basketball team at Arlington High School lost a game by 105 points. In story after story, Indiana was cited as having inspired Michigan’s Republicancontrolled House and Senate to pass legislation enabling nonunion workers in unionized shops to opt out of paying union dues, even though the unions negotiate contracts on their behalf. This legislation is commonly called “right to work.” Its detractors call it “right to work for less” because they see it as a device for undermining unions. Chief executives and Chamber of Commerce types are all for undermining unions because, as far as they’re concerned, paying workers less and providing fewer benefits helps them compete better in the global marketplace. Which is another way of saying it makes working conditions here a little more like those in China. In any event, it is remarkable the extent to which Indiana has become a guiding light for other Midwestern states. This is due, in large part, to the job Gov. Mitch Daniels has done. Daniels has been a role model for his fellow Republican governors, like Scott Walker of Wisconsin, John Kasich in Ohio and now Michigan’s Rick Snyder. Daniels provided them with what amounts to a playbook on how to take control of a state government and they have been eager to follow his lead. What these governors see in Indiana represents the end-all and be-all of public policy as far as today’s Republican politicians are concerned: a balanced budget, low taxes and a state surplus. Like Indiana, all of these states were once known for a manufacturing prowess that, over the past generation or two, has fallen into decline — hence the desire to stick it to the unions. The idea seems to be that states where workers have no power to bargain with their bosses for improved pay, benefits and/or working conditions, are bound to attract new business. As an anonymous CEO put it on Chiefexecutive.net: “Indiana is centrally located, has a balanced budget and excess reserves on hand, is a low overall tax environment, is business friendly and is now a right-to-work state. If you want to locate in the Midwest, there is no other state in its class.” This CEO could have added something about how Indiana’s having super

Republican majorities in both houses of its state legislature, not to mention a new governor named Pence, promises to make this a regulation-free zone for the foreseeable future, free from pesky environmental and workplace safeguards. But I guess that would have been gilding the lily. It’s no wonder so many Republicans considered Daniels the most qualified guy for their party’s presidential nomination before last November’s election. He’s done everything in Indiana that they want to do to the country as a whole. If you listen closely, you can hear echoes of Daniels’ voice now, in the wrangling over how to avert the so-called fiscal cliff. The belief that government’s most important job, even in the teeth of the worst economic crash since the Great Depression, is to maintain a balanced budget, is Daniels through and through. You could say this makes Indiana a preview of the America Republicans dream about. So what’s that like? To begin with, if you work in Indiana the chances are you make less money than your peers in other states. Indiana ranks 42nd in the nation in per capita income. With our right-to-work law, that number could dip a little more. But that’s OK. Surely our business-friendly atmosphere means that Hoosiers are being hired at a brisk clip. Well, not exactly. As The Indianapolis Star recently reported, private-sector job growth actually fell during Mitch Daniels’ eight years in office. Indiana lost 1.3 percent of its private-sector jobs under Daniels, whereas these jobs increased by 1.2 percent nationally. Thank heavens our taxes are low. The only trouble is, we get what we (don’t) pay for. Another national news story last week revealed that, for the first time, Indiana ranks in the bottom 10 in the country in terms of public health. We’re 41st, according to the United Health Foundation, down four places from last year. This places us among such worthies as Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas and West Virginia. I could go on. Apparently the education level of our workforce ranks in the bottom 10 nationally. We have the second-to-worst air pollution in the U.S. But, hey: Indiana is a great state for business. “This is not simply a matter of preference, of convenience, but … many of our neighbors would have a job, or a better job, if we made this change …” That was Mitch Daniels, at the beginning of his first term as governor. He was talking about what a difference adopting daylight saving time would make to our economy. Eight years later, we fall back and spring ahead with the best of states. Somehow, though, resetting our clocks twice a year hasn’t turned into jobs. Unemployment here is actually higher than the national average. At least we’ve put the unions in their place. Michigan, knock yourself out. „

You could say this makes Indiana a preview of the America Republicans dream about.

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HAIKU NEWS by Jim Poyser

North Korea sends up a rocket without the use of Photoshop Benghazi distracts from Rice’s sad record on Iraq and Keystone even Michigan falls to right-to-work powers as unions go bust if Portland suffers shootings in a mall then we need to stop shopping in 30 years whites won’t dominate; tea party will have to drink jo in Illinois that bulge you see means he isn’t happy to see you Florida can have Tony Bennett try and fit square pegs in round holes Ballard announces switch to electric cars – now if we could kill coal… given fast warming temps the apocalypse can’t come along too soon coronavirus that jumps from animals to humans could hasten

GET ME ALL TWITTERED!

Follow @jimpoyser on Twitter for more Haiku News.

THUMBSUP THUMBSDOWN MARIAN AND BUTLER VICTORIES

Marian University, already a dominant force on the national cycling scene (the Knights clinched their 19th national cycling championship in September), dominated the gridiron this season, as well. The 5th ranked Knights conquered a 20-10, third-quarter deficit to take out Iowa’s 3rd ranked Morningside College to win the NAIA national championship, 30-27 in overtime. That spirit of fighting-until-the-last-minute also paid off for Butler University on Saturday, when its men’s basketball team defeated No. 1-ranked Indiana University, 88-86 in overtime. Sophomore Alex Barlow’s sloppy shot, taken with just over two seconds left on the game clock, was anything but precision execution. Still, it captured perfectly (as did the whole game) just what makes basketball in the state of Indiana so dang beautiful.

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THE COST OF DOING BUSINESS

A Wall Street Journal analysis released Saturday supported the GOP’s contention that right-to-work laws correlate with greater economic development; it also flagged a correlated cost — lower wages. “Manufacturing employment has grown 4.1 percent in right-to-work states [that eschew mandatory payment of union dues] over the past three years, compared with less than 3 percent in other states. Meanwhile, factory jobs pay 7.4 percent less in right-to-work states.” Overall in 2011, Indiana’s $774 average weekly wage compares to a $920 national average, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

HOTEL WORKER LAWSUIT SETTLED

Local hotel workers announced a settlement of their lawsuit against the subcontractor Hospitality Staffing Solutions (HSS), which they had alleged had failed to pay them for all the hours they worked and forced them to work off the clock. (“We Deserve Better,” Fran Quigley, NUVO 14-21). The workers and the union UNITE HERE also reported that multiple area hotels have severed ties with HSS, including the Hyatt Regency Indianapolis, Marriott, the JW Marriott, and the Conrad. “We have proven that, when a group of workers stick together, we can make a real change,” said Elvia Bahena, one of the 16 plaintiffs in the suit filed in U.S. District Court. “We still have a long way to go until hotel jobs are good, familysustaining jobs, but today represents a big step forward.” The terms of the settlement agreement are confidential, but plaintiff Eva Sanchez said she was very pleased with the terms and the precedent set by the litigation. “We have set the example for people in the Latino community that they should not be treated like slaves,” she said.

THOUGHT BITE By Andy Jacobs Jr. Peace of mind: Never let the Sun set on an unpaid bill.

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news Security seek more training, health care Union guard workers see better benefits

T

BY FRA N Q U IG LE Y E DI T O RS @N U V O . N E T

iara Johnson and Tonya Yarborough have a lot in common. Both women are mothers, and both are security guards with several years of experience. Johnson works for a Wishard Health Services contractor at the construction site for the new Eskenazi Hospital in Indianapolis; Yarborough works in the financial district in Chicago. But when Johnson arrives at her worksite at 6 a.m. and puts on her high-visibility vest, hard hat and safety goggles, differences begin to emerge. Johnson is paid just $10 per hour, significantly less than Yarborough’s near $13-per-hour wage. Yarborough has been thoroughly trained in handling emergencies, Johnson has not. Beyond viewing a short safety video required of all Wishard staff, Johnson said security guards at the construction site are provided no special training. “We are pretty much given a uniform and told to stand there and open a gate,” she said. Through her work, Yarborough has health insurance that allows her and her son to see a doctor and get discounted prescriptions. She has not had a co-payment for eight years. Johnson said the health insurance offered by her direct employer, a company called Securatex, is all but worthless, covering only a fraction of health care costs in return for employee contributions. Johnson and most of her colleagues choose not to pay for the policy, instead paying out of pocket for whatever care they can afford. But health crises have a way of ignoring such budget planning. When Johnson suffered from heat exhaustion after a 12-hour work shift in August, her emergency room bill added up to almost $4,000. Now, collection agencies are calling her home and writing threatening letters. After making the rent and car payments and buying groceries, there is no money left over from Johnson’s paycheck to cover that kind of debt. Johnson and Yarborough agree on the reason their lives are so different, despite their similar jobs: Yarborough is represented by a union at her workplace, Johnson is not. Yarborough’s employer has a contract with the Service Employees International Union (SEIU) that includes annual raises, a grievance procedure, and seniority rights even when security guards need to switch employers. “It is strength in numbers,” Yarborough said. “We got all this through the union. The company is never going to

onnuvo.net 8

PHOTOS COURTESY OF SEIU

Security guard Tiara Johnson demonstrates in front of Health and Hospital Corporation headquarters (above). Security guards demonstrate outside Wishard Hospital. Tiara Johnson is third from right, Tony “Coach” Young is sixth from right (left).

“Eventually, someone is going to get hurt.” — Tony “Coach” Young Securatex security guard

give us that on our own as individuals.” In contrast, SEIU efforts to organize Johnson’s employer Securatex have not yet been successful. Also, Illinois mandates initial training, background checks, and refresher training for security guards like Yarborough, while Indiana law includes no such requirements. (A 2010 proposal to require minimal training for security guards in Indianapolis failed to pass the City-County Council.) Workers going without health care while helping to erect a state-of-the-art hospital presents an irony that Johnson and others guarding the hospital construction site do not shy away from invoking. They have held demonstrations outside the building brandishing giant Band-Aids lettered, “Working Without Health Care at Wishard Hurts.” They marched in front of the Health and Hospital Corporation of Marion County, Wishard’s parent organization, with a giant pill labeled, “No Healthcare is Hard to Swallow.” Wishard’s current hospital is patrolled by security guards who are direct Wishard employees receiving better pay and benefits than the Securatex guards. And

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NEWS

Johnson is quick to praise Wishard’s commitment to its low-income patients and the community’s overall health. “This situation with Securatex is not up to Wishard’s good reputation,” she said. “Their responsibility is to hire a contractor who shares their values. Wishard needs to do its homework a little more, instead of saying, ‘You are the cheapest, so I’m going to go with you.’ ” Todd Harper, public affairs manager for Wishard Health Services, said that Securatex has complied with all Health and Hospital Corp. training and staffing requirements, and that the wages and benefits offered by Securatex are comparable to other local companies offering on-site security. “Safety is a top priority at the construction site,” Harper said. “We are proud to report that our safety statistics are better than both federal and state averages.” (Full disclosure: In October, I was one of several IU and IUPUI faculty members who signed a letter to Wishard CEO Dr. Lisa Harris asking Wishard to ensure that its contractors’ employees receive fair wages and benefits.)

DIFFICULT SITUATIONS Like Johnson, Tony “Coach” Young also works for Securatex at a local government site. Young is a security guard at the Duvall Residential Center, a Near-Eastside work-release facility that houses over 300 inmates. Young is among many who echo Johnson’s critique of Securatex for fail-

„ ISDA awards bioenergy leadership by Jordan Martich „ Info graphic on equal employment opportunity by NUVO Editors „ Poll: “No” to same-sex marriage, tax cuts by Zach Osowski

ure to train its guards. The company has lost several security contracts with local government agencies in recent months, and multiple sources inside and outside the company say that Securatex’s training practices are seriously deficient. Young said he has worked at Duvall since 2010, but has never received any self-defense or conflict resolution training through the job. A broad-shouldered part-time wrestling coach at Manual High School, Young said CPR and first-aid training was required before he was allowed to coach high school wrestlers, but the training wasn’t required for him to be assigned to guard the 340 inmates at Duvall. Young and other guards say that as few as five security officers are assigned to oversee the inmates on an overnight shift. The Securatex contract with the City of Indianapolis calls for an armed guard with special deputy arresting powers to be on site at all times, but guards say there are many times when no such deputy is present. One night in September, during Young’s shift, several inmates got into a fight. Quickly, another two dozen inmates joined in, and the situation appeared on the verge of escalating into a riot. Young radioed for backup, but no one ever responded. The situation cooled down, but Young said the next time may not end so peacefully. “Eventually, someone is going to get hurt,” he said. “And that is because the City of Indianapolis made a decision to hire a contractor that is cheap, but does not train their employees.” John Deiter, executive director of the Marion County Community Corrections agency that oversees the Duvall Center, would not comment for this article, citing instructions from the city’s Office of Corporation Counsel. Securatex did not return calls seeking comment. However, Securatex president Patricia DuCanto recently told WRTV-6 that the company meets all the training standards set by its contracts. DuCanto also told WRTV-6 that the negative attention directed toward Securatex was the product of the SEIU organizing campaign. The union has been organizing security guards in Indianapolis for the last three years, and has recently reached agreements with several other local security companies. For his part, Young happily admits to being an advocate for union recognition at Duvall Center. “We are dealing with all walks of life there, so we need better training, better wages, and better health care,” he said. Tiara Johnson agrees. She, too, cites the need for benefits and a wage that would allow her to pay her rent, car payment, and to buy groceries. Johnson and her husband recently agreed to adopt 2-year-old twin girls whose mother faces legal trouble, so money will be tighter than ever. But Johnson has the focus of an experienced security guard, so she circles back from economic concerns to the issue of safety. “We need the training,” she said. “Right now, we are out there just hoping to get through difficult situations so we can go home to our families at the end of the night.” „

„ Lugar calls on Congress, Obama to cooperate by Samm Quinn „ Increased funding for full-day kindergarten by Samm Quinn „ Seeking nominees for Torchbearer Awards by The Statehouse File


Obama’s vigil remarks from Newtown

Following shootings a change is needed Editor’s note: As we reflect on last Friday’s tragedy in Connecticut, may this abbreviated transcript of President Barack Obama’s words of sympathy and support offer some guidance. A video version is posted to NUVO.net. People eager to get active on gun control may want to tune into a group started last weekend by Zionsville’s Shannon Watts — see facebook.com/ OneMillionMomsForGunControl. Scripture tells us: “…do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away…inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.” We gather here in memory of twenty beautiful children and six remarkable adults. They lost their lives in a school that could have been any school; in a quiet town full of good and decent people that could be any town in America. Here in Newtown, I come to offer the love and prayers of a nation. I am very mindful that mere words cannot match the depths of your sorrow, nor can they heal your wounded hearts. I can only hope it helps for you to know that you’re not alone in your grief; that our world too has been torn apart; that all across this land of ours, we have wept with you, we’ve pulled our children tight. And you must know that whatever measure of comfort we can provide, we will provide; whatever portion of sadness that we can share with you to ease this heavy load, we will gladly bear it. Newtown — you are not alone. As these difficult days have unfolded, you’ve also inspired us with stories of strength and resolve and sacrifice. We know that when danger arrived in the halls of Sandy Hook Elementary, the school’s staff did not flinch, they did not hesitate. Dawn Hochsprung and Mary Sherlach, Vicki Soto, Lauren Rousseau, Rachel Davino and Anne Marie Murphy — they responded as we all hope we might respond in such terrifying circumstances — with courage and with love, giving their lives to protect the children in their care. We know that there were other teachers

who barricaded themselves inside classrooms, and kept steady through it all, and reassured their students by saying “wait for the good guys, they’re coming”; “show me your smile.” And we know that good guys came. The first responders who raced to the scene, helping to guide those in harm’s way to safety, and comfort those in need, holding at bay their own shock and trauma because they had a job to do, and others needed them more. And then there were the scenes of the schoolchildren, helping one another, holding each other, dutifully following instructions in the way that young children sometimes do; one child even trying to encourage a grown-up by saying, “I know karate. So it’s okay. I’ll lead the way out.” (Laughter.) As a community, you’ve inspired us, Newtown. In the face of indescribable violence, in the face of unconscionable evil, you’ve looked out for each other, and you’ve cared for one another, and you’ve loved one another. This is how Newtown will be remembered. And with time, and God’s grace, that love will see you through. But we, as a nation, we are left with some hard questions. Someone once described the joy and anxiety of parenthood as the equivalent of having your heart outside of your body all the time, walking around. With their very first cry, this most precious, vital part of ourselves — our child — is suddenly exposed to the world, to possible mishap or malice. And every parent knows there is nothing we will not do to shield our children from harm. And yet, we also know that with that child’s very first step, and each step after that, they are separating from us; that we won’t — that we can’t always be there for them. They’ll suffer sickness and setbacks and broken hearts and disappointments. And we learn that our most important job is to give them what they need to become self-reliant and capable and resilient, ready to face the world without fear. And we know we can’t do this by ourselves. It comes as a shock at a certain point where you realize, no matter how much you love these kids, you can’t do it by yourself. That this job of keeping our children safe, and teaching them well, is something we can only do together, with the help of friends and neighbors, the help of a community, and the help of a nation. And in that way, we come to realize that we bear a responsibility for every child because we’re counting on everybody else to help look after ours; that we’re all parents; that they’re all our children. This is our first task — caring for our children. It’s our first job. If we don’t get that right, we don’t get anything right. That’s how, as a society, we will be judged. And by that measure, can we truly say, as a nation, that we are meeting our obligations? Can we honestly say that we’re doing enough to keep our children — all of them — safe from harm? Can we claim, as a nation, that we’re all together there,

letting them know that they are loved, and teaching them to love in return? Can we say that we’re truly doing enough to give all the children of this country the chance they deserve to live out their lives in happiness and with purpose? I’ve been reflecting on this the last few days, and if we’re honest with ourselves, the answer is no. We’re not doing enough. And we will have to change. Since I’ve been President, this is the fourth time we have come together to comfort a grieving community torn apart by a mass shooting. The fourth time we’ve hugged survivors. The fourth time we’ve consoled the families of victims. And in between, there have been an endless series of deadly shootings across the country, almost daily reports of victims, many of them children, in small towns and big cities all across America — victims whose — much of the time, their only fault was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. We can’t tolerate this anymore. These tragedies must end. And to end them, we must change. We will be told that the causes of such violence are complex, and that is true. No single law — no set of laws can eliminate evil from the world, or prevent every senseless act of violence in our society. But that can’t be an excuse for inaction. Surely, we can do better than this. If there is even one step we can take to save another child, or another parent, or another town, from the grief that has visited Tucson, and Aurora, and Oak Creek, and Newtown, and communities from Columbine to Blacksburg before that — then surely we have an obligation to try. In the coming weeks, I will use whatever power this office holds to engage my fellow citizens — from law enforcement to mental health professionals to parents and educators — in an effort aimed at preventing more tragedies like this. Because what choice do we have? We can’t accept events like this as routine. Are we really prepared to say that we’re powerless in the face of such carnage, that the politics are too hard? Are we prepared to say that such violence visited on our children year after year after year is somehow the price of our freedom? All the world’s religions — so many of them represented here today — start with a simple question: Why are we here? What gives our life meaning? What gives our acts purpose? We know our time on this Earth is fleeting. We know that we will each have our share of pleasure and pain; that even after we chase after some earthly goal, whether it’s wealth or power or fame, or just simple comfort, we will, in some fashion, fall short of what we had hoped. We know that no matter how good our intentions, we will all stumble sometimes,

in some way. We will make mistakes, we will experience hardships. And even when we’re trying to do the right thing, we know that much of our time will be spent groping through the darkness, so often unable to discern God’s heavenly plans. There’s only one thing we can be sure of, and that is the love that we have — for our children, for our families, for each other. The warmth of a small child’s embrace — that is true. The memories we have of them, the joy that they bring, the wonder we see through their eyes, that fierce and boundless love we feel for them, a love that takes us out of ourselves, and binds us to something larger — we know that’s what matters. We know we’re always doing right when we’re taking care of them, when we’re teaching them well, when we’re showing acts of kindness. We don’t go wrong when we do that. That’s what we can be sure of. And that’s what you, the people of Newtown, have reminded us. That’s how you’ve inspired us. You remind us what matters. And that’s what should drive us forward in everything we do, for as long as God sees fit to keep us on this Earth. “Let the little children come to me,” Jesus said, “and do not hinder them — for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Charlotte. Daniel. Olivia. Josephine. Ana. Dylan. Madeleine. Catherine. Chase. Jesse. James. Grace. Emilie. Jack. Noah. Caroline. Jessica. Benjamin. Avielle. Allison. God has called them all home. For those of us who remain, let us find the strength to carry on, and make our country worthy of their memory. „

"These tragedies must end. And to end them, m, we must change." change 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 12.19.12-12.26.12 // news

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Because Ideas MatterRecommended Readings by the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at Butler University Complications: A Surgeon’s Notes on an Imperfect Science Atul Gawande Picador, 2003 Reviewed by William Johnston Atul Gawande’s Complications: A Surgeon’s Notes on an Imperfect Science is an extraordinarily interesting non-fiction account. The title says it all—Gawande’s thesis promotes the idea that diagnoses and surgical procedures in medical science aren’t the clear-cut practices that hospitals and the medical profession often make them out to be. There are three reasons why the book works so well. First, Gawande is a fabulous author—his writing honed by his contributions to the New Yorker, he has developed an ability to tell medical stories accurately but with simple beginnings, an increasing sense of drama that increasingly pulls the reader into a full-absorption wonder, and then—bam!—a resolution that leaves you open-mouthed and astounded by the outcome. The stories also come with values—you end up really caring about the people involved, or about the medical procedure, or about whatever issue it is that Gawande sneaks into the mix. Most important, he writes with a refreshing honesty, admitting his own shortcomings. How many medical doctors, no matter how accomplished and admirable (and theirs is a venerable profession), do you know who do that? Most people agree that honesty and compassion are two of the most commendable characteristics we humans can uphold. For Gawande, they are part of his very being—his left eye and his right. And they permeate this book throughout. If you want a candid peek into the work of the medical profession and how it can impact your health issues, pick up this Gawande jewel. — William Johnston is professor of mathematics at Butler University.

Go to www.butler.edu/BookReview for more recommendations by the faculty and staff of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at Butler University.


go&do

For comprehensive event listings, go to nuvo.net/calendar

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THURSDAY

New books about IU, from IU

FREE

Winter Solstice @ Indianapolis Museum of Art The IMA will welcome the change ‘o’ the season Thursday with ice carving/chainsawing, craft-making, historic holiday decorations (rest assured that the tinsel is lead-free), hot chocolate and, of course, shopping opportunities. Also a good opportunity to catch up with Beauty & Belief, an edifying survey of Islamic art through the past millennium, which closes Jan. 13. 5-8 p.m. on the IMA grounds (including the Lilly House), free, imamuseum.org

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SATURDAY

Indianapolis Symphonic Choir’s Festival of Carols @ The Palladium Your sole remaining chance to catch the Indianapolis Symphonic Choir’s Festival of Carols — and the only date for the program that hasn’t been sold out for weeks (tickets remain available as we go to press, Choir reps assure us). There will be many, many carols (“Joy to the World,” “Away in a Manger,” Handel’s “Hallelujah” chorus), performed by the 150-member choir, along with the Greenfield Central High School Madrigal Singers, guest starring on three pieces. 8 p.m., $20-38, indychoir.org or 317-843-3800

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STARTS 21 FRIDAY

SATURDAY

Hoosier Hysteria Day @ Hinkle Fieldhouse

Eddie Griffin @ Crackers Broad Ripple Those who know Eddie Griffin best through his tepid sitcom, Malcolm & Eddie, and cinematic masterpieces such as Scary Movie 3 and Norbit may be surprised to find that his stand-up is politically charged and, more often than not, funny. Wordplay forms a central part of it — “They call it television (points to eyes) programming (points to head). They’re telling you visually to program; you’re being programmed.” And it’s informed by a strong libertarian streak: “You know Obama ain’t running shit. Puppet on a string ... I thought it was called the United States of America, not the United Empire of Earth.”

High school basketball players, coaches, referee and student managers all invited, one and all, to Butler’s celebration of Hoosier Hysteria Day, which happens to coincide with a game between the Bulldogs and the University of Evansville Fightin’ River Otters — wait, scratch that; they’re the Purple Aces, because that makes more sense. The whole thing is being put on in conjunction with the Campaign to Save Hinkle, which hopes to raise $16 million, in total, to repair and preserve the legendary Fieldhouse. A far more family-friendly choice than Hoosier Nymphomania Day, if one has to choose between days named after outmoded women’s illnesses.

Dec. 21 and 22, 8 and 10:30 p.m.; $27.5037.50; crackerscomedy.com

2 p.m., discounted tickets available at butler.edu/hoosier-hysteria

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from all sales to the NGO, whose stated mission is to “work with communities to end hunger and poverty and care for the Earth,” in part by providing families in need with a wide range of livestock. Donation boxes will also be available to cut out the middle-artist if you so choose. Participating artists include Carla Knopp, Wug Laku, Chris Magee, Nancy Lee, Kat Wedmore and Paul D’Andrea.

FRIDAY

FREE

Heifer fundraiser @ Circle City Industrial Complex A rare gift opportunity for that lover of goats and art (if not art made by goats) in your family. This Friday, the crew at Circle City Industrial Complex will host an open house raising funds for Heifer International, donating a percentage

onnuvo.net

5-8 p.m. @ 1125 Brookside Ave., no entry fee, heifer.org

BLOGS

„ Bicycle Diaries by Katelyn Coyne

„ Complete First Friday reviews by Charles Fox and Dan Grossman

HERMAN B WELLS: THE PROMISE OF THE AMERICAN UNIVERSITY BY JAMES H. CAPSHEW, IU PRESS MR. TUBA BY HARVEY PHILLIPS, IU PRESS DAVID BAKER: A LEGACY IN MUSIC EDITED BY MONIKA HERZIG, IU PRESS BEING LUCKY: REMINISCENCES AND REFLECTIONS BY HERMAN B WELLS, IU PRESS

To be sure, books about Indiana University constitute a small fraction of the total output of the Indiana University Press for any given year; witness, for instance, our recent reviews of titles in the press’s Global African Voices series, dedicated to translating new, and often experimental fiction from the continent, or from the Michael Martone-edited Break Away Books imprint, a grab-bag of Midwestern fiction and memoir. But who will tell the stories of the university’s pioneers if not its press, particularly if those pioneers turned down opportunities for higher-profile jobs in their fields in order to serve the greater good from Bloomington? Four books released through the past year tell of three innovators — university president Herman B Wells, composer and jazz pedagogue David Baker and tuba advocate Harvey Phillips — who fought to realize social justice and academic and artistic excellence, each in his own, idiosyncratic way. Phillips (1929-2010), whose extensive, breezy, often funny memoir, Mr. Tuba, was first published this fall, was a precocious tubist in his first years at Juilliard — which he entered after he made his name as a “windjammer” (circus musician) for Barnum & Bailey and as a freelancer — when he sat down to play the first published tuba solo, “Rocked in the Cradle from the Deep,” based on a sea chantey melody. “I entered my reserved practice room, turned on the light, took off my overcoat ... and suddenly had no interest in practicing,” he recalls. At a meeting the next day, he poured out his concerns to a music theory professor: “It was upsetting to hear other instruments practicing great music by master composers while the tuba was stuck with ‘Beezelbub,’ ‘Asleep in the Deep’” The professor urged him to transcribe whatever he liked from the history of music, while noting, a little sarcastically, that no violinist would ever feel his pain; if he wanted to play great tuba literature, he would have to do something about it himself. And thus: “I was given a mis-

PHOTOS

sion,” in 1951, while a Juilliard freshman, “to develop, improve and expand literature for the tuba.” Baker, born in 1931 and still the incredibly active Chairman of the Jazz Studies department at IU, followed a not dissimilar route (and they collaborated often later in life; Baker wrote the foreword to Phillips’s memoir, recalling a Concerto to End All Concertos he wrote for Phillips that featured ballet dancers, “33 mm slides of Harvey and me in various artistic poses” and 15 tape players distributed throughout the audience, as “a good illustration of the excesses of which both Harvey and I are guilty”). Just as Phillips learned the tuba without a theory book and outside the university — his decision to join the circus at age 17 was a key one, at a time when some of the best brass players came from the circus and military band tradition (think Sousa) — so did Baker have to teach himself jazz, hanging around clubs, listening to records and learning on the street at a time when conservatories couldn’t be bothered with such an upstart, popular form. Not that Baker wasn’t interested in classical; if Phillips tells of turning down job offers from the Boston Symphony and Met Opera, Baker found himself with nary an opportunity to break into a segregated orchestra scene at mid-century, despite his evident talent. Further, an early chapter in David Baker: A Legacy in Music, a collection of essays that will vary in interest to the general reader (some get a little deep into theory, particularly those that recount his classical and jazz output in depth), tells of his run-ins with bigots, from the time he got thrown out of the Jordan Conservatory of Music for dancing with a white girl, to when he got run out of Missouri by vigilantes for marrying across the color line. One could imagine both men choosing not to return to an academic setting. But both Phillips and Baker made a mid-career shift to teaching in a sustained and systemic way that which they learned in a piecemeal fashion. Baker has been described as taking a “dump truck” approach to teaching, inundating his students with just enough material to leave them overwhelmed, but not quite flailing (stu-

„ Prince Rama at Service Center by Dan Axler

„ Indianapolis Art Center winter exhibitions by Brandon Knapp

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dents recall that he knows just when to insert a word of encouragement). Baker was at the forefront of understanding jazz as a discipline informed by the entirety of music theory (he played with George Russell when Russell was developing a jazz theory then thought abstruse, but which is now accessible to the advanced student), and JB Dyas’s essay from David Baker, “Defining Jazz Education,” lays out, in a way that leaves the reader with infinite respect for his average student, his curriculum for lifelong jazz learning. Dyas notes, “In the same way saxophone great Charlie Park revolutionized the music of jazz, setting its lingua franca for all generations to come, David has set the standard for its teaching and learning.” Dyas describes Baker’s ear training regimen as having the aim of teaching students “to be able to genuinely play what one hears, not hear what one plays” — and the amount of sustained study required to reach that goal by Baker’s program is beyond impressive. And where does Wells (1902-2000) come in? Quite simply, as the president who enabled people like Baker and Phillips to do their jobs, even if those jobs didn’t necessarily exist before they created them. It was Wells who laid the groundwork for a world-class music school when he hired a guy from Texas, Wilfred Bain, who wanted to develop, of all things, a world-class opera program in the Midwest, with the idea that it would be, according to Wells’s autobiography, “the most useful and comprehensive activity around which to build the applied music fields — orchestra, stage direction, voice, scene design, ballet and so forth.” It took a while to get from there to the founding of one of first jazz studies programs in the nation by Baker in 1968, but such a step was in keeping with Wells’s vision of the university as a vehicle for, as he put it in a 1939 speech excerpted in Being Lucky, “the fearless inquiry into every subject in search of the truth — fearless inquiry, not only in the ‘safe’ realm of the physical sciences, but in the social sciences as well, even though they deal with the stuff of which human emotions and passions are made.” Social and physical forces collided, of course, in the ‘50s, when Alfred Kinsey was engaged in his groundbreaking research, which Wells supported partly by keeping a certain distance (a distance

in keeping with his resolution not to interfere with the academic freedom of a professor or student), as well as by gentle, well-timed diplomacy, as when he allowed a board member to point out the erotic elements of well-known paintings to the governor of Indiana, causing the governor, somewhat chagrined, to cease all objections to Kinsey’s work at a time when he could have easily impounded the materials related to human sexuality that were being sent to Kinsey from around the world. And Wells didn’t have to budge one inch from his vision, informed, as James Capshew puts it in his valuable study of Wells’s work, by the “genius loci” of the campus and university, in order to defend Kinsey. As Wells puts it in Being Lucky, first published in 1980 and issued for the first time in paperback this year,: “I had early made up my mind that a university that bows to the wishes of a person, group or segment of society is not free and that a state university in particular cannot expect to command the support of the public if it is the captive of any group. It must be a free agent to deserve the support of all the public, free of untoward influence from any group — business, church, labor, politics and so on — and the only way to keep it free is to be willing to fight when necessary.” Capshew’s book helps to flesh out elements of Wells’s life that are discussed in passing — Wells often refers readers to other books or the historical record, in the case of Kinsey, or gives only a cursory account of great accomplishments — while putting his efforts into the context of the growth of the university. Unlike other biographers, Capshew isn’t interested in interpreting Wells’s personal life from a contemporary vantage point, and he makes an interesting point about the relationship of Kinsey’s work to our understanding of Wells: “Kinsey’s pre-occupation with the measurement of sexual expression left little room for qualitative insights into the erotic imagination or the study of other forms of affiliative behavior [beyond sexual behavior]. In short, Kinsey’s system was poorly designed to capture Wells’s psychosexual individuality,” which was characterized by intense friendships, often with male friends, as well as a domestic arrangement which saw his mother keeping his house until her death (which he admits in his autobiography helped relieve a certain loneliness). A certain Midwestern reticence to talk too much about one’s inner life may inform both Wells’s and Phillips’s memoirs (and it’s interesting to note that both grew up in humble, rural settings — and played low brass in their youth!), but they certainly have more than enough to say about the work they did, the values they defended and the relationships they forged with colleagues.

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Frankie Camaro

Author Leila Peter's

new book now available on Amazon

I Dont Remember Tuesday Weld Featuring Big Guitars Grammy Nominee, Frankie Camaro and Mark Cutsinger of the Zero Boys. Recorded at Queensize Studio, Indianapolis, Summer 2012. On Sale Now on iTunes, Amazon and many other music stores! Listen and Download at: tunecore.com/music/motomusic

Moto Music

Moto Music Recordings and Publishing: motomusic.com Big Guitars Reunion in Austin Texas, at Antones, Valentines Day 2013

leilapeters.blogspot.com


A&E FEATURE

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Judd Apatow (left) and the cast of This is 40.

Judd Apatow Super-sizing movies for America BY ED JOHNSON-OTT EJOHNSONOTT@NUVO.NET Judd Apatow changed the face of contemporary comedy. In the early ‘90s, the former stand-up comic (he was quite good, though he won’t admit it) co-created and produced the TV sketch comedy The Ben Stiller Show, which achieved cult status. Then he became a writer and consulting producer for The Larry Sanders Show, one of the best – and most influential – comedies ever made. Apatow also created the TV cult classic Freaks and Geeks, with a cast including James Franco, Busy Philipps, Jason Segel and Seth Rogen, as well as Undeclared, which gained acclaim despite poor ratings. The 45-year-old produced the film Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy before making his directorial debut with The 40 Year Old Virgin, which he co-wrote with star Steve Carell. It was a landmark in contemporary comedy. Where filmmakers Peter and Bobby Farrelly broke barriers by mixing heartfelt moments with R-rated humor in There’s Something About Mary, Apatow’s work was richer, mixing hilarious bits with credible and relatable lead characters. Apatow later directed the massive hit Knocked Up, as well as Funny People. His producing credits include Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby , Superbad, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Pineapple Express, Get Him to the Greek and Bridesmaids. Whew. His new film, This is 40, is a sorta sequel to Knocked Up, starring Paul Rudd and Leslie

Mann, Apatow’s wife (their two daughters play the daughters in the movie). Apatow and I spoke by phone recently. NUVO: What’s the experience like for you when you see Apatow-style movies you’re not directly connected with, like I Love You Man or Cedar Rapids? JUDD APATOW: Well, they are called Apatow-style movies but I’m influenced by other people. What I do is greatly influenced by Barry Levinson, Kevin Smith, Cameron Crowe, James Brooks: It’s a soup of people that I look up to. I’m just trying to promote a certain type of emotionally grounded comedy, or if it’s a big broad movie, that is unique. So when you see all these movies that I produce, the only common denominator is that it’s movies that I want to see. And people I like, actors I like, directors I like. So you get a sense of my taste. They were conceived by me and most of the time I’m just cheerleading for them. NUVO: Much has been said about all the incredible actors you brought in or made more prominent. I was wondering about two actors I love that you haven’t worked with that I know of: Paul Schneider (Mark Brendanawicz in Parks and Recreation’s first two seasons) and Mike Birbiglia. APATOW: I know Mike Birbiglia very well, I’m friends with him. Those are really talented guys. Birbiglia’s movie Sleepwalk With Me is fantastic; I’ve seen it many times. And Paul Schneider, I haven’t had the chance to work with, but I love the Jesse James movie (The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford). I think it’s one of the great movies of the last ten years. There’s always a ton of people you wish you could work with, but you need an idea that has a place for them. I always start with the idea and then sud-

denly I have a list of parts, so I think “Who would be fun to work with? Maybe this time I’ll beg Albert Brooks to be in the movie,” but it all starts with a script. NUVO: A couple of years ago, a news story said that you were talking about doing another Pee Wee Herman film. Has anything come of that? APATOW: Yeah, Paul Reubens finished a draft and now we’re trying to go make it – it’s very, very good. I hope we get a chance to do it this year. NUVO: You were pleasantly surprised not long ago to learn that your 22-yearold script for The Simpsons is going to be produced. Is it the exact script you sent in 22 years ago or did you have a chance to change anything? APATOW: Oh, no, it will require a real rewrite, it’s the first thing I ever wrote. It’s a very good idea but I think the fun of this experience will be having a reason to collaborate with some of the great people who work at The Simpsons. Al Jean, who runs The Simpsons, was one of my first bosses. He hired me to write for a TV show called The Critic with Jon Lovitz back in 1993, so he’s one of my earliest supporters. It will be really fun to see how their system functions and I’m sure they’ll wind up making it much better than I would. NUVO: Any chance of you making a cameo in the show? APATOW: I never thought of that! You’re right, guest voice! I’m going to push for that – you’ve lit my fuse! NUVO: I saw that you read all the reviews of your stuff. That’s got to be affect you on an emotional level. Have you ever had the urge to call or contact one of the reviewers?

APATOW: I used to do that when I worked in television. Every once in a when somebody would write something so mean I would call them and go, “What is the matter with you? How can you say that?” They say you shouldn’t do that because then they’ll hate you for life and then go at you harder next time, but I was a kid and I would just jump on the phone and call The New York Times and start yelling at people. Especially when I though it was needlessly vicious and personal. But for the most part I’ve given that up. Not that I don’t want to, but in the old days there were certain reviews that could sink your movie or television show but now there are many more voices out there, so one opinion doesn’t carry the same level of importance as it once did. I can’t call 900 people. NUVO: I was reading some of the reviews and, aside from people who just don’t get what you do on a fundamental level, the most common criticism is your editing, that your films aren’t edited tightly enough. APATOW: Well here’s the thing. I like a slower pace, that’s just my natural rhythm. I don’t like super fast-paced comedy. I like to play out moments. I’m a little more a fan of shows like the original English version of The Office. I like awkwardness and I like scenes to fully play out. That’s just me. I don’t cut my movies like it’s Trainspotting. I respect that style, but I want these movies to feel like documentaries. Some people want a short movie, but most people can handle three hours of Harry Potter or Titanic, so for me to have a movie that’s a little over two hours doesn’t seem like a big deal. Movies are very expensive, it`s a pain in the ass to get out of the house to go to one, so why are people rushing to go home? You know, that extra 15 minutes is free. You don’t pay extra for that. I’ve super-sized it for America! „

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A&E REVIEWS

PHOTOS BY BRANDON KNAPP

Sculptures by George Kim at the Indianapolis Art Center. GLOBAL SPACE INDIANAPOLIS MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART, THROUGH JAN. 19 e 19th-century painter John Frederick Kensett was the perhaps surprising inspiration behind Clement Valla’s work on display at Global Space, an exhibition concerned with interconnectedness in the Internet age curated by Indy native Ben Valentine. Kensett, a member of the Hudson River School, created paintings imbued with extraordinary detail and a profound sense of place, with an abiding concern for atmospheric effects and lighting.

PHOTO BY BRANDON KNAPP

Sofiya Inger’s Story Dome at the Indianapolis Art Center.

VISUAL ARTS GEORGE KIM: SCULPTURES INDIANAPOLIS ART CENTER, THROUGH FEB. 3 w George Kim has been watching the local art scene from a comfortable distance for years, all the while making incredible sculptures in private. He recently approached Indianapolis Art Center Director of Exhibitions Patrick Flaherty to ask him to look at his art, and we are lucky that Flaherty accepted his invitation. This exhibition constitutes a rare moment in the local art scene, with a mature artist of remarkable prowess and vision emerging from private practice into

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the public eye. Kim, who has no formal artistic training, has been making sculptures from black walnut logs for 30 years. His first public exhibition features a small sampling of his output. The sculptures’ shape and form are determined by the attributes of each piece of wood, taking each piece’s imperfections into account. The sculptures on view mostly resemble humans and birds, their elongated limbs reminiscent of Alberto Giacometti. What is most interesting is how they combine high art sensibilities with references to indigenous and outsider art. The finish of the wood is gorgeous, and the shapes and proportions of the sculptures are stunning.

a&e reviews // 12.19.12-12.26.12 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

— CHARLES FOX

Valla emailed a photo of Kensett’s “Almy’s Pond, Newport” to a Chinese painter, Zhongbo, who works for a outfit that churns out replicas of famous oil paintings. Villa asked Zhongbo to add a depiction of a scene from his “village,” in fact a fullfledged, industrialized city, to his copy of Kensett’s work. Zhongbo adds a skyscraper to the 19th-century scene, which he places smack dab in the middle of the painting, but otherwise attempts to copy Kensett’s work faithfully. Valla then asked another Chinese painter to copy Zhongbo’s work, then another, and so on. Subsequent renditions of the painting by the other artists become increasingly bizarre, even expressionistic. And the skies become increasingly, unnaturally, blue. Other work continues this exploration of the idea of outsourcing, and crowdsourcing, one’s artistic practice online, including Jasper Elings’ video “Sharing a Beautiful Sunset.” By sharing, he means showing hundreds of photos of particular sunsets, all by

different photographers, from around the world in a speedy blur. The piece nonetheless suggests the actual sequence of a sunset. Another artist in the show, Lorena Turner, took products that were made and packaged in China, dusted them for fingerprints and photographed them under black lights. The results are the stunning, and sobering, Made in China, which reveals the fingerprints of anonymous sweatshop laborers. — DAN GROSSMAN

END OF THE WORLD INDY INDIE ARTIST COLONY, THROUGH THE APOCALYPSE e You may want to check out this show before Friday, when the world will evidently come to an end. Everything has already come to an end in Floyd Bailley III’s “Writing on the Wall,” a captivating digital image, printed on brushed aluminum, that shows a bunch of what might be random bits of human bones and trash in an alien archeologist’s dig a million years in the future. Among these mounds of trash, will the aliens find a VHS cassette containing episodes of Charlie’s Angels, in which the late Farah Fawcett played a leading role? A painting by Cat Stevens (apparently not the famed singer) entitled “Farah Fawcett in Hell” looks more like a mutant creature that’s been skewered and skinned in preparation for roasting than the platinum blonde icon. Somewhat less disturbing are several beautiful acrylic on panel paintings by Gabriel Lehman. One untitled painting depicts a girl on a mountaintop yearningly reaching up towards the birds above in a strangely-lighted sky. — DAN GROSSMAN


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Gavin Rouille, “Pussies for Peace,” from TINY TINY GALLERY 924, THROUGH JAN. 4 r The virtue of showing so-called “tiny” art (no bigger than 6” by 6” by 6”) is that you can pack a lot of work into a gallery space. More than 100 different Indy artists, working in a wide range of styles and mediums, are featured in TINY, from Emily Budd’s bronze sculptures of seemingly alien creatures, to Rachel Bliel’s stoneware wall-hanging butterflies. Site-specific offerings take advantage of the sleek gallery space, including Rachel Baxter’s “Thallophytes,” which look like fungi as they cling to a wood support beam but are actually relief prints with watercolor. You might wonder how you might incorporate such fungi into your own living room. This isn’t a question to ask with Stacey Holloway’s “Bridge to Comfort,” a model bridge in the shape of an arch that can fit snugly on two people’s noses when they’re facing each other at four inches apart. A video featuring Holloway and various partners depicts the piece in action. — DAN GROSSMAN

a magnetic blackboard with “I’M ____ING WITH YOU” written on it, and below the statement are an assortment of colorful, magnetic letters that are doubtlessly reminiscent of many viewer’s childhoods. Although many innocent verbs that could be inserted to complete the statement, there simply aren’t enough magnetic letters present to make a great variety of words, and the mind jumps to expletives in this case anyways. Other pieces that stand out in this year’s show include Martin Kuntz’s bizarre painting of Santa Claus’s face inside of a Wu Tang Clan emblem, which doesn’t really make sense until you read the title, an oft-cited quote from Ol’ Dirty Bastard: “WU IS FOR THE CHILDREN.” Stacey M. Holloway continues to explore plane crashes in her work, and her mixed media piece, “In & Out,” is excellent. Two ornate, circular wooden frames each contain half of a model plane, so that one looks like a plane has crashed into it and the other appears to have a plane flying out of it. Chris Fry’s “Robin” is a sequence of many images of a disrobed action figure in various strange poses, cleverly repurposing the children’s toy to a sort of voyeuristic and pornographic end. — CHARLES FOX

THEATER Q ARTISTRY: CHRISTMAS QAROL CABARET IRVINGTON LODGE, DEC. 14 AND 15 q

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Kurt Nettleton “Kitch,” from Toys

TOYS: A HOLIDAY ART EXHIBITION PRIMARY GALLERY, ENDED DEC. 15 r Primary Colours’ annual Toys exhibition marks its tenth anniversary this year. Perhaps unsurprisingly, local artists continue to keep the theme fresh and engaging, even after a decade. What always stand out in Toys are sharp, witty pieces that add a darker, more adult edge to the objects we once innocently enjoyed. Kurt Nettleton’s “Kitch” (sic) most embodies this approach. The piece is comprised of

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Ben Asaykwee and company delivered a spirited Christmas revue last weekend that would shoo away humbugs in even the Scroogiest of Scrooges. Joined by Tiffanie Bridges and a company of talented singers, Asaykwee crafted an intimate, inviting, joyful and touching experience. Asaykwee and Bridges soared in duets including a gentle version of “The First Noel” and a chipper “Winter Wonderland.” And Bridges’s enchanted rendition of “The Christmas Song,” accompanied by a smooth sax solo, came close to Nat King Cole’s iconic recording. Familiar faces from the Q Artistry camp provided back up for a hilarious parody of “Carol of the Bells” that served as a fond farewell to the Hostess Company, and a lively take on Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” They also led the entire audience in a sing-a-long, a tradition in keeping with Q Artistry’s focus on community togetherness. Asaykwee kept that focus on community when — in the intro to a subtle, emotionally-charged rendering of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” — he talked up the importance of relying on neighbors in times of crisis. — KATELYN COYNE


MOVIES

Move Yourself 6-Week Summer Ballet Program 10 July 26,2013 26 6,, 2013 June 10-July SUMMER INTENSIVE (ages 11 & up) Intensive instruction, renowned guest faculty, outstanding choreography, weekly performance showcases, flexible scheduling.

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Chasing Ice e When Chasing Ice premiered at Sundance, it came away with an Excellence in Cinematography award, along with subsequent, numerous Audience Awards at various film festivals throughout the circuit. What it should win is an award that honors the fact that this film combines scaring the crap out of you with eliciting awe regarding the majesty of nature, which in turn scares the crap out of you that we are so rapidly melting it all away. I don’t know what that award would be called, but I bet the subject of Chasing Ice, photographer James Balog, couldn’t care less. Here’s a guy who traveled to remote locales, through the harshest conditions, leaving his family, ruining his knee, draining his own wallet, so he could bring us living, visual proof of what we are too dim to otherwise grasp: That we are warming the earth with our fossil fuels foolishness, and the speed by which we are changing our climate — the actual chemistry and physics of our atmosphere — is so alarming, we can no longer delay encompassing change in how we treat nature. “The story is in the ice,” says Balog, early

Chasing Ice screens Dec. 27-29 at The Toby at the Indianapolis Museum of Art, alternating with Beauty Is Embarrassing, a profile of Wayne White, who co-created and shaped the look of Pee Wee’s Playhouse before cementing his place in the fine art world with his seemingly endless series of playful word paintings. The documentary’s title is taken from one of the typically weird, pithy statements — which include “We peered down its dark layers to the bottom, a glint of shiny meaning,” “Donald Judd was a son of a bitch wrecked his train in a whorehouse ditch” and “I’ll smash this painting over your fucking head” — that he renders in tall, three-dimensional lettering against thrift-store-quality landscape paintings. Chasing Ice Dec. 27, 7 p.m.; Dec. 28, 4 p.m.; and Dec. 29, 3 p.m. Beauty Is Embarrassing Dec. 27, 4 p.m; Dec. 28, 7 p.m.; and Dec. 29, 1 p.m. Tickets run $5 for members and $9 for non-members. More at imamuseum.org.

www.indyballet.org

PHOTO BY FREDDIE KELVIN

on in Jeff Orlowski’s film. Balog was attracted to the “limitless universe of form ... insanely, ridiculously beautiful.” He was aware of climate change, but in the beginning of this process, in 2007 when he set up cameras in Greenland, Iceland, Alaska and Montana, he had no idea he was going to witness “visual evidence that grabs you in the gut.” The visual evidence Balog is referring to is the discernable retreat of glaciers, the calving of ice into the ocean, the carving of moulins in the ice of Greenland; in short, the geological scale change that humans are creating. Chasing Ice is interpolated by statements from Fox News pundits, from politicians like James Inhofe, and from the grating, hatefilled larynx of Rush Limbaugh. Their obtuse denial all seems so puny in the face of such magnificent ice — and its palpable demise. Balog shakes his head about all the arguing. “We don’t have time,” he says, exasperated. He should know. He photographs time. He captures time. And in the time-lapse photos, the proof of our greenhouse gas emissions’ impact, the glaciers dying before our very eyes, is the evidence of our coming collapse. Take your skeptical uncle to this film. Take you kids, your parents, your friends. Face it. Then let’s figure out what to do. — JIM POYSER

A SHORT LIST OF THINGS TO DO Refuse the straw (most superfluous waste on the planet)

need a little guidance? let NUVO show you around town

No more plastic water bottles (second most superfluous waste on the planet)

Reduce or eliminate meat consumption (meat = greenhouse gas emissions)

Reduce or eliminate car travel (cars suck)

Wear a sweater, stupid (reduce the heat, darling)

Join something (HEC, Beyond Coal, H-IPL, KIB, CILTI, etc.)

Don’t back down from the deniers (they are wrong)

cityguides available online

Love nature (you are nature)

Love local (live small)

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MOVIES Hyde Park on Hudson t If the one-of-a-kind handicap-adapted presidential car is rocking, don’t come a-knocking. Yes, Hyde Park on Hudson includes a scene where the leader of the free world gets a hand job on a sunny day while sitting in the driver’s seat of his custom-made vehicle. And you thought Bill Clinton invented tacky presidential sex. Hyde Park on Hudson is a slight film, an insider’s look at one aspect of the presidency of Franklin Delano Roosevelt (the legendary Bill Murray – more about him later). The key event is a visit from King George VI (the stuttering royal of The King’s Speech, played here by Samuel West) and Queen Elizabeth (Olivia Colman), who need money from America to support the war effort in England. That part of the movie is consistently interesting. The dynamics of the relationship between the King and Queen, the treatment of the couple by their American hosts, the pivotal late-night exchange between the King and FDR – all juicy stuff. Too much of the movie, however, focuses of the friendship turned sorta

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romance between the president and his dreary sixth cousin Daisy Suckley (gamely played by Laura Linney). She’s an accommodating drip, putting her squarely in the powerful-men-with-drab-mistresses category occupied by Monica Lewinsky, Tiger Woods’ various liaisons, and many others (one who doesn’t fit the category is Marilyn Monroe, although it could be argued that she was less a mistress of John F. Kennedy and more a guest star). Anyhow, Suckley (oh, how she must have suffered in high school with that last name, assuming oral sex had been invented back then) is central to the story because the whole shebang is based on letters of hers, discovered after her death in 1991, detailing her relationship with FDR. Was the real relationship accurately presented in the film? Probably not, as the movie appears to show memories of events where Suckley was not present. More importantly, who gives a hoot about the sorta affair? It was apparently just one of many. What’s interesting is the FDR we’re presented, played with verve by Bill Murray. A number of reviewers have prefaced their praise of Murray’s performance by stating it initially looked like stunt casting. What nonsense. Murray is as established as a serious actor as he is a comic legend. Anyone still dismissive of Mr. Murray just hasn’t been paying attention. He paints FDR as a man used to creating uproars by his presence, occasionally reveling in stirring things

go&do // 12.19.12-12.26.12 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

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Bill Murray as FDR in Hyde Park on Hudson .

up. Surrounded by his wife Eleanor (Olivia Williams, given woefully little to do), his thundering mother (Elizabeth Wilson), his secretary Missy (Elizabeth Marvel) and scads of others, he is often overwhelmed by his support team. Murray’s FDR rises above (and sometimes below) the noise and fuss, snagging moments here and there, like his wonderful late night meeting with the King. Don’t know if the president was that

paternal, or if the king was that emotionally needy, but the scene works very well. Hyde Park on Hudson is packed with interesting business, but the film as a whole feels incidental, a minor offering with too many unanswered questions, and a noble president whose manipulative tactics in both politics and personal relationships get depressingly icky. — ED JOHNSON-OTT


FOOD Visions of Sugar Cream

Pies, produce at Locally Grown Gardens BY KATHERINE COPLEN KCOPLEN@NUVO.NET I’d move into Locally Grown Gardens if Chef Ron Harris would let me. I’d curl up between the bushels of apples and boxes of garlic; I could pluck one of the bags of fleur de sel — imported in bulk from France — to use as a pillow. I’d wake up to the smell of sugar cream pie and coffee and the daily hog roast. It feels like home, and that’s the point. “The whole market is everything that I’ve always enjoyed in my life,” Harris, who is often called simply Chef Ron by regulars, says. When Harris opened Locally Grown Gardens in a 1950s Standard Oil Gas Station in 2008, everything came from his house: the oven, the porcelain, the flatware. Harris is locally grown too. His first job in a kitchen was a high school job as a dishwasher at MCL Cafeteria. After stints at Ciatti’s Italian Restaurant, The Keystone Bar & Grill and the Illinois St. Food Emporium, Harris graduated in 1990 from the Culinary Institute in Hyde Park, N.Y., then found his way into highprofile positions with Larry Forgione (An American Place, Beekman 1776 Tavern) and Jean-Georges Vongerichten (Jo Jos). He was swept at that time into the burgeoning local, slow food movement. “Working with Larry was working with everybody. In the ‘80s, everything was just new,” says Harris. “Wolfgang Puck, Paul Prudhomme, Alice Waters — we would do dinners with all of them throughout the year. They all ran in tight circles.” Building relationships between farmer and chef was a priority in those kitchens. “[Forgione] sourced top-notch ingredients from all over the country. The farmers would bring something to your back door, and then you’re cooking it,” says Harris. “It makes it more intimate. It made my product more valuable and the connection more natural.” After five years in New York, Harris returned to his hometown with a job offer: Corporate Chef for MCL Restaurant & Bakery. While there, Harris developed those same relationships with local farmers. “I thought that the best thing that MCL could do was empower the farmers and source ingredients directly from the farmers in the Midwest — corn, melons, strawberries, etc,” he says. “It was a very new thing for these farmers to do that kind of volume. It went really smoothly overall, but it took years.” After 12 years with the company, he was ready to launch his own spot, just steps from the Monon Trail and off 54th Street. “When I first started in April of 2008, I was initially just going to do produce,” says Harris. “Then, the fall came along and the produce was running very lean and I needed to make a living, so I went

PHOTO BY KRISTEN PUGH

Locally Grown Gardens is located in a converted gas station.

back to my roots of cooking. I thought, I can make pies, I can do hog roasts – I had no idea of a blueprint of where I was going to do, besides offering the things I’ve always enjoyed and knew I could deliver.” Harris opened a sitting area to serve his fare (menu items vary seasonally, but often include grilled salmon and freshly made salads), and moved in his collection of cookbooks, creating a food library framed by massive glass windows. His produce selection grew steadily, always seasonal and often local. Throughout the spring and summer and into the fall, the wide doors of Locally Grown Gardens are thrown open and more treats (in October, pumpkins; in April, herbs) line long, rough-hewn tables in the store’s front lot. Fridges in the back are stocked with chilled glass bottles of specialty sodas, fresh eggs and a small selection of cheeses. But what we keep coming back for is the pies, gorgeous and silky, with thick crusts, including a sugar cream served year-round. “People have a lot of memories of that pie — either they have memories of it or they’ve never heard of it, one or the other,” Harris says of the sugar cream. “You don’t see it around very often.” Harris bakes an average of 300 pies per week during the summer months (and around half that amount during the winter), including seasonal pies like peach, blueberry, pumpkin and apple as ingredients allow. Has all that pie baking has soured him to the idea of eating the sweet treat himself? “No, no. I’ve actually developed more respect for the pie because how it allows me to live. Sugar cream pie — I cannot turn that down,” says Harris. “The seasonal pies like the blueberry? I’ll eat at least a couple slices a day. So I might eat 2-3 slices of pie per day in the summer.” Harris has made Locally Grown Gardens into a collection of what’s best in life, culled from a lifetime of caring deeply about ingredients, aesthetics and community. And pie. There’s still plenty of time to place your order for Christmas. „

Locally Grown Gardens 1050 E. 54th St. (317) 255-8555 locallygrowngardens.com

PHOTOS BY KRISTEN PUGH

Chef Ron Harris with his Sugar Cream and Apple Pies.

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music

WHAT YOU MISSED

Gizmos rumble again Dale Lawrence recalls punk’s wild ride in ‘70s BY N I CK S E LM M U S I C@N U VO . N E T

B

eing a punk in Indiana today is easy; simply rip off your favorite bands, post some demos to your Facebook page, hop on a few shows at the Mel and you’re good to go. Being a punk in Indiana in 1977, how ever, was a completely different story. “We were the only punks in town,” says Dale Lawrence, frontman for legendary punk act The Gizmos about the Bloomington scene. “People either hated us or treated us like a novelty act.” Formed in 1975 as an elaborate eight-piece recording project, The Gizmos began as a proto-punk shock band. Songs like “Muff Diver” and “Pumpin’ To Playboy” comically paid homage to raunchy sex. Despite the relative success of their first few EPs, the band dissolved in 1976. In an attempt to keep The Gizmos’ name afloat, Gulcher records owner Bob Richert put out ads recruiting musicians to Gizmos frontman Ted Niemiec. Answering the ad in Primo Times was a young Dale Lawrence. “I had just got Never Mind The Bullocks [by the Sex Pistols]” says Lawrence, “and I was eager to be in a band.” Armed with the Gizmos name and reputation, the reformed band sought to keep the ball rolling. Ironically, Niemiec dropped out of the band after a semester to pursue his med school career and eventually became a gynecologist. With no original Gizmos, Lawrence and bandmate Billy Nightshade decided to keep rolling as The Gizmos, but not without some changes. “We stopped playing all the joke sex songs,” says Lawrence “and started to focus more on being a punk rock band.” “The Sex Pistols were our number one influence but we listened to The Clash, The Vibrators and X Ray Specs,” says Lawrence, “I liked Television and the Ramones too, but the British stuff was better.” The next few years for The Gizmos were an uphill climb. “It’s hard to communicate how isolated we were,” says Lawrence. “We played anywhere we could and rarely more than once.” After struggling in Indiana for two years, the Gizmos packed up and

onnuvo.net 26

PHOTOS BY LIZ NICOL

Phoenix on the Fault Line, Bullet Called Life, Veseria and Hero Jr. performed together at Rock House Cafe on Saturday, Dec. 15.

SUBMITTED PHOTOS

Photos and album art featuring The Gizmos

moved to New York City in 1980. Despite moving to a more punk-friendly city, the Gizmos didn’t fare much better in NYC. “Whereas we were a couple steps ahead in Indiana,” says Lawrence, “we were a couple steps behind in New York.” The Gizmos fizzled in NYC and Lawrence moved back to Indiana in 1982 where he found that punk rock had finally started to catch on. After the dissolution of the Gizmos, the members dispersed throughout the country, each pursuing their own musical careers –– Lawrence led the Indianapolis version of The Vulgar Boatmen and reuniting infrequently for

REVIEWS/FEATURES

one-off shows in the Midwest. Gearing up for only their 7th reunion in over 30 years, Lawrence, now an Irvington resident, seemed a bit incredulous to be back at it again. “We knew that we were the best band it town,” says Lawrence, “But we didn’t think that we’d be playing a reunion show 35 years later.” „

GIZMOS White Rabbit Cabaret, 1116 Prospect St. Saturday, Dec. 29 9 p.m., $10 advance, $12 at door, 21+ With: Burnt Ones, Apache Dropout, Vacation Club, Thee Yolks

„ DJ Indiana Jones’ beat burger; All-star benefit has highs and lows; An interview at the end of the world with Prince Rama

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PHOTOS

PHOTO BY KRISTEN PUGH

Sufjan Stevens as the Christmas Unicorn at Old National Centre.

„ More photos from Sufjan Stevens; more photos from Phoenix on the Fault Line, Hero Jr., Veseria; Birth of Fountain Square;


A CULTURAL MANIFESTO

WITH KYLE LONG

Kyle Long’s music, which features off-the-radar rhythms from around the world, has brought an international flavor to the local dance music scene.

An alt-Christmas playlist No matter how hard you try, it’s impossible to hide from the ceaseless assault of Christmas music during the month of December. I’m not a grinch and I don’t exactly hate Christmas music, but I’ve grown profoundly tired of hearing the same handful of holiday selections endlessly recycled over and over again each year. With that in mind, I’ve created a playlist of some of my favorite alternative holiday classics.

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MILES DAVIS –– “BLUE XMAS” In 1962, Columbia Records asked Davis to contribute a track to their Jingle Bell Jazz compilation. His response was to phone vocalist Bob Dorough (Schoolhouse Rock) who composed the ultimate Christmas protest anthem decrying holiday greed. Lyrics like “When you’re blue at Christmas-time, you see right through all the waste, all the sham, all the haste and plain old bad taste,” or “lots of hungry, homeless children in your own backyards. While you’re busy addressing 20 zillion Christmas cards” sum up the vibe here. WOODY GUTHRIE –– “1913 MASSACRE” Guthrie’s 1941 ballad documents a tragic incident in American labor history. As the song tells it, a group of striking copper miners had gathered for a Christmas Eve celebration when a band of hired anti-union “thugs” invaded, yelling “fire” into the crowded dancehall. The false warning created a panic and 73 people (mostly children) were trampled to death in the ensuing stampede. LEROY CARR “CHRISTMAS IN JAIL (AIN’T THAT A PAIN)” This 1929 classic from famed Indianapolis blues super-duo Blackwell and Carr, finds Carr begging Santa to “bring someone to do my bail.” The Christmas in jail motif would be repeated in many more in pop music compositions like John Prine’s “Christmas in Prison” and The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York.”

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CAETANO VELOSO “IN THE HOT SUN OF A CHRISTMAS DAY” From Caetano’s 1971 English language album, this was recorded in London during his exile from Brazil –– Veloso was banished from the country for his artistic opposition to the ruling military dictatorship. Introduced by a mournful orchestral arrangement of the traditional “God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman,” “In the Hot Sun of a Christmas Day” is a somber meditation on a regrettable fact: war, torture and repression don’t take a holiday on this holy Christian day.

“Machine guns in the hot sun of a Christmas Day. They killed someone else in the hot sun of a Christmas Day.” LOUVIN BROTHERS “SHUT IN AT CHRISTMAS (SHUT IN PRAYER)” Country music duo the Louvin Brothers were famous for their plaintive, heartfelt ballads. This 1952 example finds the brothers asking Christmas revelers not to forget the shut-ins –– persons confined indoors by illness or disability –– during their holiday celebrations. A strange, but touching Christmas obscurity. JAMES BROWN “SANTA CLAUS GO STRAIGHT TO THE GHETTO” A brilliant example of James Brown’s ability to use pop music and pop culture to create simply understood statements of social commentary. TOSIN MARTINS –– “SILENT NIGHT” Ever wondered what it would’ve sounded like if afrobeat revolutionary Fela Kuti converted to Christianity and recorded an Christmas anthem? This 2010 recording by Nigeria’s Tosin Martin answers your question. Not a version of the familiar Xmas classic, but an original and funky meditation on the birth of Jesus. JORGE BEN –– “NATAL BRASILEIRO” Simply one of the most joyous and soulful Christmas party songs ever. This track was recorded in 1978 by the tremendously talented Ben, a Brazilian singer-songwriter on par with American artists like Stevie Wonder or Bill Withers. WILLIE COLON –– “ESTA NAVIDAD” This song is pulled from salsa legend Willie Colon’s two volume set of Puerto Ricaninspired holiday tunes, Asalto Navideño. In my opinion, it’s the greatest Christmasthemed collection of music ever released by a single artist. Asalto or parranda refers to a late night caroling tradition popular in several Hispanic-Caribbean cultures. LARA BROTHERS –– “RIO MANZANARE” A wonderful example of traditional parang music, a Venezuelan variation on the parranda. The Latin music style migrated from South America to Trinidad and Tobago where it mixed with regional musics like soca, chutney and calypso resulting in of the most infectious genres of Christmas music you’ll ever hear. „ Scan this QR code with your smartphone to listen to a playlist of these songs.


MUSIC Bill Wilson back on racks High-profile reissue for Indy folk legend BY RO B N I CH O L S M U S I C@N U V O . N E T One night in February of 1973, Indiana folk rock legend Bill Wilson was a 25-yearold musician looking for a break. So he drove to Nashville and knocked on the kitchen door of producer Bob Johnston, the guy who had produced Bob Dylan’s Highway 61 Revisited and Blonde on Blonde albums, and Johnny Cash’s At Folsom Prison and I Walk the Line records. What happened after that is murky, beautiful and puzzling. According to the liner notes of Wilson’s debut album, Johnston answered the door to find Wilson standing there, saying “I’m Bill Wilson and I want to make a record.” “Well, you came to the wrong house,” Johnson answered. “You can’t just show up and make a fucking record.” “Will you listen to one song?” asked Wilson. “One song,” said Johnston. A Vietnam vet who hung around in the Austin scene, Wilson’s spark must have been evident to Johnston, because the producer let the singer in, allowed him to play 12 songs, and as legend has it –– there are no offical notes that confirm it –– rounded up many of the guys who played on Dylan’s Blonde on Blonde to record Ever Changing Minstrel in one night. The remastered (from the original tapes) album is now reissued by Tompkins Square with rare photographs and notes by reissue producer and Tompkins Square label owner Josh Rosenthal. “I bought the original album for a quarter at a record store in Berkeley, California in January 2012,” Rosenthal says. “I had never seen it before. I worked at Sony for 15 years, and thought I knew the catalog pretty thoroughly. I loved it and worked out a license with Sony We’ve almost sold through our first press. We can probably sell a few thousand around the world,” Rosenthal says. Originally released on Windfall Records (a major imprint of CBS/Columbia at the time) in 1973, the tracks laid down are a time capsule of the Nashville-Dylan hybrid of folk rock from the early 1970s folk rock framed by piano, filled with airy drums, kept gritty with some surprisingly dirty guitar lines and, just because that’s what was happening at the time, includes Elvis-inspired gospel backup vocals. Lyric-driven ballads backed by session pros and swampy, Memphis-like singer-songwriter soul cuts; the sound of Dylan, Jerry Jeff Walker and Joe South. As it happened, Columbia Records was changing management when the record came out and Wilson, the singer-songwriter from Indiana, suddenly wasn’t a priority. The record faded away. It doesn’t make the record any less thrilling. Instead, there is a mystical quality to the music. How does this fall through the

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Bill Wilson

cracks? And how many other talented musicians suffered the same circumstances? “Rainy Day Resolution” talks of “singing this song of freedom,”and “Pay Day Giveway” is highlighted by Clapton-esque guitar lines and rolling blasts of words that give the verses a “Blinded By The Light” feel. It’s a revealing glimpse of the early, fire-isburning Wilson, who still holds a legendary place among the cult of Hoosier folk rock affecianados. A Central Indiana influence for 20 years of songwriters, he spent more time playing clubs, coffee houses and lounges than he did pursuing another record deal. He struck one more time as a songwriter, cowriting “Sultans of Swing” for Dire Straits. He later told an audience that he bought a truck with the money he made off the song after it became a hit. “To Rebecca” is a beautiful slow build slice of acoustic guitars, while one of the best cuts is “Father Let Your Light Shine Down,”straight out of the Saturday night gospel barns; inspirational church music cut from the musical cloth of the south. “Following My Lord” carries forward the subtle theme of looking for faith that rides through the record. The title cut sounds like it could have come the same hazy dawn that inspired Kristofferson to write “Sunday Morning Comin’ Down.” The set’s closer, “Monday Morning Strangers,” pulls out a “sleepy sidewalk pushes on” line that furthers that connection, with the loniliness of Sunday replaced by a “whenever Monday morning rolls around.” Added bonus: the track contains one of the juiciest Allman Brothers-like guitar solos unearthed in a long time. After the debut, Wilson went on to record more independent albums, including Made in the USA (1982) and Talking to Stars (1977). His final album, Traction in the Rain, came out a year before his death. “Indianasong” from that album revealed how good Wilson was at what he did, all those years later. He had grown into a John Prine-like performer, and that genius is part of what makes this reissue sweet and beautiful and sad. He was really good. A massive heart attack claimed Wilson’s life in November of 1993, while he was in Nashville visiting a friend. „ EVEN MORE Log on to NUVO.net to read more about the reissue.

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M A R C O ’ S MUSIC

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PHOTO BY KRISTEN PUGH

Sufjan Stevens at Old National Centre on Friday Dec. 14

REVIEWS OWEN THOMAS LANGUAGES {OR: GET DARK & FIND YOURSELF.}

w With his first solo album, Owen Thomas will not escape comparisons to his former group, The Elms, the Indiana rock and roll band that disbanded nearly two years ago on the heels of their best album, The Great American Midrange. On Thomas’ new album Languages {Or: Get Dark & Find Yourself.}, the rocker has written a damn good set of songs about rejection and fortitude. Thomas clearly hasn’t run from the band’s sound. Instead, he has created a more lyrically introspective record and allows two of his former bandmates –– guitarist Thom Daugherty and Thomas’ brother Chris on drums –– to give the set a familiar, though updated, sound. And he wraps his words in music that is hook-filled, heartland power pop. He has crafted a record that takes a strong lyrical step into the potentially slicker space of pop music without losing the crunch and earthiness of the Elms. The heartland combination of music and lyrics makes for one of the very best albums – national or local –– of the 2012. “Houdini” opens the set an understated vocal amidst churning guitars and gospel-pop chord changes, finally giving way to Thomas’ “Philadelphia Freedom” shouts of “Yes I do” by song’s end. “I Don’t Miss Carin’” may be the best cut on the record, a great groove that belies a bittersweet message to a former love. Daugherty’s guitar slides in and out with hard-strummed chords, and he adds a sweet and dirty little solo to Thomas’ vocal “whoo-whoo’s.” Soul-based pop from an Indiana guy? “I Might Be a Ghost!” lets Thomas use his supple voice to turn the tune into a midtempo hip shaker. It’s a tightly produced record, though a thumping drums and a healthy slice of guitar seep their way into the mix, dare we say, perfectly. Daugherty and Thomas are a potent combination of vision, feel and execution. Gloss and raunch. Shine and grease. Neither player solely one or the other. The two former bandmates still work well together, sharing

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Owen Thomas bits of beauty and midwest rock grit. “I Am High Above You” glides along and slowly, and subtly turns into a pulsating little rocker “What You Say and What You Do” brings memories of The Cars with some 1950s doo-wop-ish chord changes. One addition to recording canon here is the use of loops to give the album a contemporary feel. Much like Spingsteen crafted his recent Wrecking Ball album around pieces of music and beats, looped together and overlayed with the trademark Boss sounds, Thomas travels a similar-sounding road. He shows chops as a rock singer in the Jagger tradition of sass and smart, and lets his guitarist and drummer push the energy level higher. Smartly done. “Who Knows” closes the album with a nod to the old sound of The Elms. The song’s line “Who knows where the road is going” is as good of a theme as any to describe the new album. The record –– and life –– is a search for truth and resiliency when both facts and emotion intrude. And as the closing song provides a gentle reminder of how good The Elms were as a band, the song also gives power to the sounds that came before it on this record. It helps prove just how good the music is that Thomas is now making on his own. –– ROB NICHOLS


MUSIC Back to heartland roots

Dane Clark steps away from drums BY RO B N I C O L S M U S I C@N U V O . N E T As the engine the makes John Mellencamp’s band rumble, Dane Clark sits behind a drum kit, driving the sound. With his own band and album, he stands squarely in front, with a guitar and directing his own take on the heartland rock sound. Clark and his band will team with another Indiana rock and roller, as they are joined by Larry Crane’s band for a night of heartland rock on December 20, at the Bluebird in Bloomington. “The seeds of the idea for this show came from a live acoustic show we did in the WTTS Sun King studio last summer with Larry and Jennie Devoe,” Clark says. “I’ve been thinking about doing an Americana Revue-style show, and this will be a good way to start. “We will run the show with both bands set up to save time, and I will do a couple songs [and] he will do a couple songs,” he says. We’ll sit in with each other’s band. We will do our own music, and so will he, and throw a few Mellencamp chestnuts in their too.” “I think I did intend to go deeper into the Americana steel guitar and dobro sound,” Clark says, as we talk about his new album. “Records don’t ever turn into the one you envision as you go through the process.” That said, Clark’s Songs from the Hard Road resonates with splashes of radio country and Mellencamp-inspired Lonesome Jubilee porch sounds. It’s a record that solidly based in the sound of Middle America. “You’ve got to be realistic in the music business,” Clark says. “Nobody buys music anymore. You write songs so you can sing, get a band and go out and play. I love music. I have a great band that can pull it off. He knows even the big guys don’t have the same power. “One has to realize the state of the music business in 2012. Bruce [Springsteen] can put out a record, and it doesn’t sell like it did 20 years ago. What we make is modern music for adults. I hope people find a song that radiates –– a lyric with a spark of truth.” Clark, who started playing piano when he was very young before moving to guitar and drums, realized that he “wasn’t going to be Jimmy Cage or Elton John” but that he “could play like Keith Moon and John Bonham.” “A drummer in a live setting is steering the ship. He’s the engine. With my band, I trust my drummer to be that engine.” “I hope we can crack a little bigger audience,” Clark says. “It’s more about a few degrees of success –– working to get to the next level.” One of the side trips Clark has taken with the record is a reconnection with the legendary late 1960s rock band Moby Grape. After being enthralled by the band’s debut album (“It

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Dane Clark

was life changing for me,” he says) Clark had a chance –– many years later –– to meet guitarist Jerry Miller and do some recording and touring with the group. Clark connected with Miller when he used his Mellencamp pass to get backstage at Pine Knob in Detroit in 2007 for a ‘60s-based Summer of Love show. It has led to the new album’s closing track “Over It” featuring the band –– a chance for Dane to finally get the group together for an album track. “Anything bad that could have happened to the band, did,” Clark says, of their history. “They only got the name back two years ago. There have been a lot of mishaps, but it was a great thing; five guys, and all five wrote and all five could sing. They were overloaded with talent. It’s a relationship to a band that Clark is especially proud of, and you can hear the warmth in his voice when he talks about the San Francisco rockers. “I don’t know if there is an Indiana sound,” Clark says, when I ask him if there is such a thing. “Though I believe there is, I still want to hear what someone closer to the heartbeat has to say about it. “Rock music doesn’t really exist as we knew it,” Clark says. “What happened with rock is it became country music: Bob Seger with a fiddle. When John started using a fiddle in the ‘80s, and that would be country music now. My roots are Midwest influences. Anyone my age is influenced by The Stones, Dylan, Cash and Haggard.” “I want my record to catch on with people who think country radio is too cheesy for their tastes,” he says. “I wanted to make a record that isn’t appealing to the lowest common denominator.” With these shows this month, Clark –– and the gutsy, Telecaster-driven rock of Crane –– will both get their chance to find that ground that exists between country and rock; a place both artists feel comfortable. „

DANE CLARK & LARRY CRANE

The Bluebird, 216 N Walnut St., Bloomington Thursday, Dec. 20 8p.m., $10, 21+

MAIN EVENT

NEIGHBORHOOD PUB & GRILL WEDNESDAYS

with The Blues Ambassadors at 9pm

Friday Night Blues SPONSORED BY SOUTHERN COMFORT

TY ORLD PAR END OF W 12.21 Going Up in Flames with Dicky James & The Blue Flames 12.28 Mike Milligan and Steam Shovel Blues

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SOUNDCHECK

SUBMITTED PHOTO

The Day After will celebrate their fourth anniversary

Wednesday

HOLIDAZE RETRO REWIND ANNUAL SWEATER PARTY

OTHER THURSDAY PICKS

Electronica Hannakuh at the Vogue Mississippi Heat at the Jazz Kitchen Altered Thurzdaze with Mayhem and Mark Instinct at the Mousetrap Keepin’ it deep holiday party at the Blu Lounge

The Vogue 10 p.m., 21+

All right, all right –– the ugly sweater party has exploded this year. Even your great aunt knows that it’s funny to pull on oddly shaped green and red jumpers with holidays decorations –– and the ones you’re making fun of? They’re hers. But the Vogue has been throwing Sweater Parties since way back, and they show no signs of stopping. So grab your blue jingle bell landscape knit or Frosty the Snowman with bells or whatever you’ve got deep in your closet. HOLIDAZE BIRDY’S XMAS BASH

Birdy’s Bar and Grill, 2331 E. 71st St. 7 p.m., 21+

Birdy’s is planning a holiday bash featuring Creme De Les Femmes Burlesque, Vinyl Shriner, Broodis, Kiss Me Under the Cameltoe, Scott Kline and more. Get your holiday party on early on the Northside. HOLIDAZE HOLIDAY SINGALONG Jazz Kitchen 7 p.m., free, 21+

Presented by the Indy Jazz Fest, this is a night of classic holiday songs and musical guests that have so far been kept a secret. See you at the Jazz Kitchen for an injection of Christmas cheer (for free!)

OTHER WEDNESDAY PICKS

Code Orange Kids, Full of Hell, Wounded Knee at the Hoosier Dome A Very Dope Wednesday at Tru Bass Wars at Indy’s Jukebox Shana Falana, Dead Princess Black Unicorn at The Melody Inn Free Jazz Wednesday with Jesse Whitman Trio at Chatterbox Jazz Club

Thursday

IMPROV DRUM-POCALYPSE

The Melody Inn, 3826 North Illinois St. 9 p.m., $3 or free with food donation, 21+

Listen, if the world really is ending (we’re almost kind of tired of typing that –– just get it over with already!), all we want to do is spend one more night jamming with friends. Luckily, Eric Brown and Deadrisk are hosting an improv open stage at the Mel on the Night Before It All Ends. Bring a food donation for free entrance.

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APOCALYPSE Friday It’s the end of the world as we know it –– or is it? Either way, there’s a bunch of places to get your party on in Indy this Friday. Log on to NUVO.net for even more listings. The End of the World with Harley Poe, Up!Scumbag, The Gitmos at the Melody Inn Hairbangers Ball, Rocket Doll Revue at Vogue Juicy Friday at Blu Lounge Parasia at That Place Flying Toasters at Ale Emporium The Max Allen Band, Joint Session at the Mousetrap Sexy Santa Party at Bartinis End of Days Party at Fountain Square Brewing Co. Living Proof at Moon Dog Tavern Gene Deer’s It’s a Blue Christmas Show at the Rathskeller End of the World Party with Ghosthouse, Party Lines at Metro P3 Productions at Bella Vita on the Marina FX Teen Night at Old National Centre We’re Phucked! at Talbott Street I Love Fridays at Mucho Gusto Bar End of the World as We Know It at the Emerson Theater The Bishops at Mo’s Irish Pub Mayan End of the World Party with Soult Street Band at Louie’s Hype War Machine, Chinese Jailbreak, Crow Cannons at Beale Street End of the World Party at Landsharks Jester Kings at Britton Tavern Friday Night Vibe at Sensu Howlin’ Happy Hour and Dueling Pianos at Howl at the Moon Mike Reeb at Lazy Daze Coffeehouse I Love Fridays! at Dunaway’s End of the World Party at Big Car Gallery Biscuit Miller and The Mix at the Slippery Noodle Jon McLaughlin, Sarah Scharbrough at the Jazz Kitchen Rockpocalypse Now at 247 Sky Bar Chase Rice at 8 Seconds Saloon Ughly Sweater Christmas Party at Cadillac Ranch Robot Love Songs, New Vegas, Full Monte, Standout Story at the Hoosier Dome Hillbilly Happy Hour at the Melody Inn End of the World Party featuring Chicago Typewriters, Rivetshack, Rick Dodd, The Dickrods at Birdy’s


SOUNDCHECK 9 p.m., $10 without mask, $7 with mask, 21+

Is the New Year’s Eve Masquerade Ball out of your price range? Or just not dark enough? You belong at the Post-Apocalyptic Masquerade at Indy’s Jukebox, with a pack of performers (burlesque, poi, DJs) and masks for all. We particularly love Krazy Karoline, who’s worked the goth/ industrial scene since 2001 and Jin-XS, who you know from Juxtapoze, Revenge and spots at TRU. Don’t forget your mask –– it’s $3 off admission! ANNIVERSARY DAY AFTER FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY The Hoosier Dome, 1627 Prospect St. 7 p.m, $8, all-ages

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Riff Raff

Saturday

HIP-HOP RIFF RAFF, OREO JONES

Radio Radio, 1119 Prospect St. 10 p.m., $10 advance, $17 at door, 21+

The first of two great hip-hop events going down in the city on Saturday, rising local Oreo Jones will open for Riff Raff, former MTV reality star and new acquisition on Diplo’s label Mad Decent. The new label has injected tons of dance into the tracks of new release Birth of An Icon, but Riff Raff’s still the same ol’ Riff Raff –– uber odd (not unlike his opening act Jones), a kind of rap cartoon character that people love to hate. Or love to love –– it doesn’t matter. HIP-HOP SCOOT DUBBS, FREDDIE BUNZ, BREAKDOWN KINGS, MORE Sabbatical, 921 Broad Ripple Ave. 9 p.m., $5, 21+

We’re so happy that the owners of Sabbatical have embraced hip-hop –– although we shouldn’t be surprised: their previous club Locals Only loved it just as much. Check out this showcase featuring Scoot Dubbs (now living on the West Coast, but back for the holidays!), Freddie Bunz (a floor rolling verse machine), Breakdown Kings and Ace One. DJ Deadrisk will hold it down. Happy hip-hop holidays! DANCE POST-APOCALYPTIC MASQUERADE Indy’s Jukebox, 306 Prospect St.

BARFLY

We’ve gotta say –– we sometimes love how early shows start at the Hoosier Dome. And this one is necessary –– there’s seven bands on the lineup, including It’s All Happening, To Kill a Monster, I Will Define, Modern Hearts, Follow Me Forward, Morality and the band being celebrated: Day After. The five-piece aggressive pop punk group has melted hearts for four years. Will your heart be next?

OTHER SATURDAY PICKS

Mayan Survival Party at The Vogue Naughty/Nice Holiday Party with Living Proof at Britton Tavern Flamingo Nosebleed, The Shake Weights, Man Made Monster at the Melody Inn Day after the End of the World at the Mousetrap

Sunday

BIRTHDAY C TAY B DAY

The Melody Inn, 3826 N. Illinois St. 8 p.m., $6, 21+

Christian Taylor’s throwing himself a 39th birthday party, and it’s a doozy. A stacked lineup and two stages make the Mel the only place to be this Sunday night. Featuring more than a few of Taylor’s favorites, including Miviludes, Big Bats, Shawn Woolfolk, Be Here Now, Psychic Feel, Swig, John Flannelly, Evan Snyder and Dave Carter –– and definitely Taylor himself. A tireless scene stalwart, Taylor deserves a packed house for his birthday. Plus, there’s more than a bit of Indy star power here. Get there early for a booth! EVEN MORE See complete calendar listings on NUVO.net and our brand new mobile site.

by Wayne Bertsch

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Look for the December issue of ILG on stands!

HEALTH & WELLNESS ISSUE


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Plus, priest vs. priest Plastic surgeons in Turkey and France told CNN in November that mustache implants have suddenly surged in popularity as Middle Eastern men use their increased lip bushiness to convey power and prestige. Surgeons extract follicles from hairier parts of the body in procedures that cost the equivalent of around GRAND $7,000 and show full results in about six OPENING months. An anthropology professor told CNN that, by tradition in Arab countries, a man of honor would “swear on my mus-

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tache,” use mustaches as collateral for loans, shave off a vanquished foe’s mustache as a reward, and gravely insult enemies with “Curse be upon your mustache!”

Latest Religious Messages

• At the religious festival of Pon, thousands of Muslims travel to Gunung Kemukus, on Indonesia’s main island of Java, to have the required sexual intercourse with a stranger. The experience, which supposedly brings good fortune, has become heavily commercialized, but nevertheless, about half the participants are “pure,” in that no money changes hands. More than a quick tryst is involved, according to an October Global Mail dispatch. The pilgrims must first pray, then bathe themselves, then select their proper stranger, then bathe themselves afterward (carefully saving the water for later re-use), and finally return seven times at 35-day intervals to refresh their ritual. • According to testimony in Perth, Australia, in November, one retired priest, Thomas Byrne, 80, bit off the ear of another, Thomas Smith, 81, in a brawl over a parking space. Father Byrne and Father Smith are residents of the same retirement home in the Perth suburb of Dianella. • For centuries, some residents of India’s Madhya Pradesh state have allowed themselves to be trampled by garishly dressed animals in periodic attempts to have their prayers answered. The November “Ekadashi” (the 11th day of certain months of the Hindu calendar) this year began with prayers, followed by the liquoring up of the animals (cows in Ujjain and buffaloes in Bhopal, for example) to “remove their inhibitions,” according to a WebIndia123 report. Even so, according to local press reports, hardly anyone ever gets hurt.

Cultural Diversity

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• Things People Believe: (1) Personalities are heavily influenced by blood types, according to the Japanese. People with Type A blood are thought to be “sensitive perfectionists and good team players, but over-anxious,” according to a November BBC News dispatch, while O’s are “curious and generous but stubborn.” Some industries market blood-type-specific products ranging from soft drinks to condoms. (2) Names given by their parents heavily influence a person’s fortunes in life, according to many Thais, but that means relief from misery is just an official name-change away, according to a November Wall Street Journal dispatch from Bangkok. Services-for-fee are available to help find prosperous names, with one smartphone application suggesting five for the equivalent of about $10. • Saudis Remain Freedom-Challenged: (1) In September, officials in Jeddah detained 908 female Nigerian visitors who were not accompanied by appropriate male guardians as required for all females in the kingdom under age 45. (Women older than that are allowed merely to carry notarized permission slips from husbands, sons or brothers.) That the Nigerians were in the country only to NEWS OF THE WEIRD CONTINUED TO PG 38

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classifieds TO ADVERTISE: Phone: (317) 254-2400 | Fax: (317) 479-2036 E-mail: classifieds@nuvo.net | www.nuvo.net/classifieds Mail: Nuvo Classifieds 3951 N. Meridian St., Suite 200 Indianapolis, Indiana 46208

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD NEWS OF THE WEIRD CONTINUED FROM PG 27 make the required Muslim Hajj pilgrimage did not deter Saudi authorities. (2) Saudi immigration officials in November began a text-messaging service to notify husbands if a woman attempts to leave the country (at an airport or across a border) without the official “yellow sheet” authorizing her departure. • Update: Japanese and Chinese traditions absolutely reject the idea of reusing wooden chopsticks, and for many years Japan’s (and then, China’s) forests easily met chopstick demand. But Japan requires 23 billion pairs a year, and China 63 billion, which the wood industry (even China’s) eventually could not provide. In 2011, Korean-born Jae Lee built a factory in Americus, Ga., near forests of poplar and sweet gum trees that proved the ideal combination of softness and hardness for the sticks. In 2011 and early 2012, he supplied Japanese, Chinese and Koreans with 20 million pairs of “Made in U.S.A.” chopsticks every week. (In June, Georgia Chopsticks LLC was inexplicably closed by court order, even though its sales had remained brisk.)

Questionable Judgments

• Police were seeking a 6-foot-3 man concerning an attempted child-abduction in November after a father intervened as the man led the father’s 2-year-old daughter toward an exit of the Fashion Square mall in Charlottesville, Va. The father alerted Fashion Square’s security, and the

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cops took the man into “custody,” which turned out to mean escorting him off the property and warning him not to return (catch and release?). • Questionable Product Launches: (1) The Demeter Fragrance Library (maker of such “classic” scents as “Dirt,” “Crayon” and “Laundromat”) has added to its line with “Sushi” cologne, reported the website FoodBeast.com in November. Fortunately, the scent is not that of raw fish, but “cooked sticky rice,” seaweed, ginger and lemon essences. (2) A company called Beverly Hills Caviar recently installed three vending machines in the Los Angeles area that sell nothing but varieties of caviar (ranging from pink mother of pearl ($4) to Imperial River Beluga ($500 an ounce).

Perspective

• “In beautiful La Jolla Cove,” wrote The New York Times in November, describing the cliffside-vista community near San Diego, “art galleries and coffee shops meet a stretch of unspoiled cliffs and Pacific Ocean” -- unspoiled, that is, until recently, when seagulls took over. Now, because of California’s showcase environmental regulations, use of the cove has been restricted, and cleaning the bird droppings from the land is subject to a permit-application process that might take two years. Some residents profess not to mind (“Smells just like the ocean,” said one, “but maybe a little ‘heightened’”) while others are appalled (“As soon as we pulled up, it was like, this is awful”). Even though the smell grows

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“more acrid by the day,” according to the Times, residents’ and visitors’ only shortterm hope is for cleansing by the traditional winter rains (which, fortunately, do not require California permits).

People Different From Us

• Update: There was no one more different from us than Dennis Avner, last reported here in 2005. Having transformed his body through surgery, tattoos and implants, he had almost completely adopted the persona of a cat (“Stalking Cat,” as he was known in the body-modification community). Mr. Avner had tiger-stripe tattoos covering most of his body, dental implants sharpened to points to resemble tiger teeth, and metal-stud implants around his mouth to hold his long, plastic whiskers. Ear and lip surgery had made his head more catlike, and special contact lenses made his eyes appear as ovals. Mr. Avner passed away in Las Vegas in November at the age of 54, reportedly of suicide.

Readers’ Choice

• (1) For two months, up to Nov. 20, the water company serving Johnville, Quebec, had left standing a utility pole even after the Quebec highway department had rebuilt Highway 251 to a location that left the pole squarely in the middle of the new two-lane street (which thus became a popular sight for fans of incompetence). Fortunately, during the two months, no accidents around the pole were reported. (2) A 35-year-old man was shot to death in Wilkinsburg, Pa., in September when he took a break from a game of dominoes on a secondfloor balcony around 11 p.m. and urinated over the rail. Unfortunately, an unidentified man was walking below. He yelled, “Yo! Yo!” and fired several gunshots, killing the urinator. Thanks This Week to John McGaw and Judy Cochrane, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

Least Competent Criminals

• Rookie Mistake: Joseph O’Callaghan, 31, was sentenced to nine years in prison by a court in Belfast, Northern Ireland, in November for having robbed an armored-car guard in 2011. He had made off with the guard’s cashbox, but since he had accosted the guard on his way into Northern Bank, and not on his way out, the box contained no money.

©2012 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.


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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

© 2012 BY ROB BRESZNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Isaac Newton is regarded as one of the most influential scientists in history. But the time he spent as a member of the English Parliament was undistinguished. The only public comment he ever made while serving there was a request to close the window because he was cold. Basketball star Michael Jordan had a similar schism. In the prime of his outstanding career, he took a year off to try playing baseball, which he did poorly. After analyzing 2013’s astrological aspects, Aries, I’m guessing that you should cultivate a firm intention to avoid doing what Newton and Jordan did. Keep playing to your strengths and emphasizing what you love. Don’t get sidetracked by peripheral concerns.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In 2013, I’d like to help you cultivate an even more reliable relationship with your intuitions and hunchFINANCIAL SERVICES es than you already have. You may not need much DROWNING IN DEBT? guidance from me, since the astrological omens indiAsk us how we can help. Geiger Conrad & Head LLP cate this will happen quite naturally. There’s another Attorneys at Law 317.608.0798 www.gch-law.com kind of inspiration I hope to offer you in the coming As a debt relief agency, we help months: clues about how to be “bad” in ways that people file for bankruptcy. 1 N. Pennsylvania St. Suite 500 will give your goodness more vigor. And when I say “bad,” I’m not referring to nastiness or insensitivity, Indianapolis, IN 46204 but rather to wildness and playfulness and experiLEGAL SERVICES mentation. Here’s one further service I want to proLICENSE SUSPENDED? vide, Taurus: helping you build a greater capacity to Call me, an experienced Traffic Law Attorney, I can receive gifts, blessings, and support. help you with: Hardship Licenses-No Insurance SuspensionsHabitual Traffic Violators-Relief from Lifetime SuspensionsDUI-Driving While Suspended & All Moving Traffic Violations! Christopher W. Grider, Attorney at Law FREE CONSULTATIONS www.indytrafficattorney.com 317-686-7219

RESEARCH STUDIES

RESEARCH STUDY NOW ENROLLING! IU Psychotic Disorders Clinic is currently seeking volunteers to participate in a research study of SCHIZOPHRENIA. If you qualify, all study medication and procedures are provided at no cost to you. Study lasts about 60 weeks and subjects will receive compensation for each visit for participation. Call (317) 274- 0474 for more information. Refer to NIGHTLYTE study.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the year 1900, few people believed that human beings would ever fly through the sky in machines. Most scientists thought that such a feat was impossible. For years, the Wright Brothers had a hard time convincing anyone to believe their flights were actually taking place, even though they had photos and witness reports as documentation. Although the leap you’ll be capable of in 2013 isn’t quite as monumental as the Wright Brothers’, it could be pretty important in the history of your own life. You may also have to deal with skepticism akin to what they had to face. Be true to your vision, Gemini! CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 2013, I predict you will see why it’s wise to phase out an influence you have loved to hate for far too long. Uncoincidentally, you will also have a talent for purging emotional burdens and psychic debris that you’ve been holding on to since the bad old days. No later than your birthday, if all goes well, you will be free from a subtle curse you’ve been casting on yourself; you will finally be attending to one of your long-neglected needs; and you will have turned some rather gawky, halfassed wizardry into a smooth and silky magic. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 2013, I pledge to help you raise your lovability. It’s not that you are unlovable now, of course, but there’s always room for improvement, right? And if people become even more attracted to you than they already are, then you’re likely to get a lot of collaborative and cooperative work done. You will thrive as you and your allies work on projects that make your corner of the world a better and more interesting place. So what are the first three actions you could take to raise your lovability? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): First question: Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’m afraid I will never achieve my noblest dreams or live according to my highest ideas”? Answer: There’s a very good chance that in the coming year you will banish that fear from the sacred temple of your imagination. Second question: Have you ever wondered if maybe you unconsciously undermine the efforts of people who are trying to assist you? Answer: In the coming months you should discover exactly what to do to prevent such a thing from happening. Third question: Do you know the single most important question you should be asking in 2013? Answer: I predict you will figure that out sometime in the next three weeks.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 2013, I will be encouraging you to journey into the frontiers and experiment with the unknown. I will seek to inspire you to go in search of teachings you’ve needed for a long time. Are you ready for this expansion, Libra? Are you feeling a natural urge to explore forbidden zones and discover missing secrets and mess with your outmoded taboos? As you might imagine, doing this work would motivate you to develop a healthier relationship with your fears. To bolster your courage, I suggest you find some new freedom songs to sing. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2013, I will do what I can to ensure that your fiscal biorhythms are in close alignment with the universal cash flow. You should have pretty good instincts about this worthy project yourself, Scorpio. And so there’s an excellent chance that your wealth will increase. The upgrade will be especially dramatic if you are constantly scheming about how you can share your riches and benefit other people with your generosity. I think there will also be an interesting fringe benefit if you maintain maximum integrity as you enhance your access to valuable resources: You will develop a more useful relationship with your obsessive tendencies. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In 2013, I pledge to conspire with you to achieve more mixtures, connections, accords, and unifications than you ever thought possible. I will furthermore be a fount of suggestions about how you can live well in two worlds. I will coach you to create a peace treaty with your evil twin and your nemesis, and I will help you develop a knack for steering clear of other people’s bad ideas and sour moods. I can’t of course guarantee that you will never again experience a broken heart, but I swear I will do everything I can do to heal the broken par t of your heart that you’ve been suffering from. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): When he was 21, the Capricorn writer Jack London set off to prospect for gold in the 1897 Klondike Gold Rush. He had a rough time there. Malnourished, he suffered from scurvy and leg pain. To make matters worse, he didn’t find much gold, and returned home broke. On the other hand, he met scores of adventure seekers who told him stories of their travels. These tales served as rich raw material for his novel The Call of the Wild , published in 1903. It made him famous and is generally regarded as his masterpiece. I’m guessing you will begin a similar trajectory in 2013, Capricorn. Events that may at first seem less than successful will ultimately breed a big breakthrough. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I can’t force you to seek more pleasure in 2013. I won’t nag you to play harder and explore the frontiers of feeling really good. However, I will say this: If you don’t plan to put yourself into at least partial alignment with the cosmic mandate to hav e maximum fun, you may not get the best use out o f the advice I’ll be offering though my horoscopes in the coming year. Please consider the possibility of ramping up your capacity for pure enjoyment. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The study of ancient Mayan civilization owes a lot to the fact that Americans started buying lots of chewing gum in the late 19th century. Huh? Here’s the connection: For a long time, chicle was one of the prime ingredients in Chiclets, Juicy Fruit, Bazooka bubble gum, and many other brands of chewing gum. Chicle is obtained from the sap of sapodilla trees, which grow in abundance in Central America and Mexico. Over the decades, workers harvesting the chicle accidentally found many Mayan ruins covered in overgrown vegetation, then told archaeologists about their discoveries. I foresee a metaphorically comparable sequence happening in your life during 2013. In unexpected ways, you will be put back in touch with and benefit from lost, forgotten, or unexplored parts of the past.

Homework: What’s the best gift you could give yourself this holiday season? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

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LICENSE SUSPENDED? Call me, the original Indy Traffic Attorney, I can help you with:

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INDY COIN SHOP 496-5581

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ARRESTED? Call me, I’m an experienced Criminal Defense Attorney, FOR HELP WITH THE FOLLOWING TYPES OF CASES:

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KYLE L. ALLEN ATTORNEY AT LAW 317-759-4141


NUVO: Indy's Alternative Voice - December 19, 2012