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OPINION

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Better to forgive than to hold a grudge against those who gossip. Sreenshot from facebook.com/nusconfessions

Do you have someone you need to reconcile with again? Sreenshot from facebook.com/nusconfessions

caused you the hurt. Holding on to the grudge tends to drain one’s energy, enthusiasm and peace of mind. At any point in time, we have the right to change that. Peace and conciliation are built on the decisions we take in these moments of our life. Forgiving someone helps to bring back the peace that has been lost, so let us choose to take things in our stride and remain unshaken by the negative behaviour of others towards us. We all have a predisposition

not to accept things when they are perceived as unfair. It is this aversion towards unfair outcomes and a fear of vulnerability that leads us towards being unforgiving. Yet, at each moment of bitterness, we need to ask ourselves, “Do I want to give away any more of my time to the person who offended me? Do they really deserve all this energy and attention?” This question is enough to get us back on track. Dwelling on the hurt not only jeopardizes our peace of mind, but also results in us displaying

our frustrations on the friends around us. This in turn endangers our relationship with the others. Forgiveness is the knife that can sever heavy chains of emotional hurt, allowing us to focus our attention on other more important aspects of life. The art of forgiving is not an easy one and many a time, people need external support or guidance. One helpful approach is to differentiate between the wrongs committed out of personal failings and those that are done with malice. We forgive the former, while we show mercy towards the latter. There is an old poem which reads, “Do your best unto the person who you perceive harmed or wronged you; this will result in the person bowing his head in

shame and atoning his guilt”. This is easier said than done. One needs tremendous amount of courage, compassion and empathy to act in such a noble manner. The truth is, no one ‘deserves’ forgiveness, for very often the harm that has been done cannot be undone. Similarly, no one ‘earns’ forgiveness. It is we who ‘choose’ to forgive. It is a decision, a choice we make to heighten and brighten our lives. So forgive and forget, take a deep breath and concentrate on what demands your attention the most. Or as Po, the eminent Kungfu Panda, would say, “attain inner peace!”

The RIDGE - March 2013 Issue  
The RIDGE - March 2013 Issue  

March 2013 issue of THE RIDGE - the largest student-run magazine in the National University of Singapore

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