PUBLISHER’S CORNER Natasha Sankey
Parenting Like Our Parents We all have said when we were growing up, “I will never treat my kids like that.” That comment usually followed an action that we did not agree with from our parents. Let us tell it, when we were growing up, we were just going to be the best parents in the world, and we were not going to do anything that our parents did to us. Our parents were just the worst people in the world. How can they treat us like that?
Five years later……Ten years later……Twenty years later……..Now we are parents ourselves. Did we keep our promise not to ever do to our kids what our parents did to us? Do we still fell as if our parents were the worst in the world? Well, let me tell you my story.
I was raised by a single mother. She was married when I was conceived, but my Father met his demise while she was caring me and my mother chose not to remarry. Anyway, my mother was a very strong willed and mined woman. She went as far as to get her PHD. Because of all of the years of education she had, that gave her high expectations for me. Well, I wasn’t ready to shoot that high. I also was an only child and very shy. My only friends were the individuals in my room that would collectively form a line across my bed every morning. You would call them dolls. When I reached puberty and started smelling myself, I just knew I was the queen and my mother was my peasant. I wanted to go the neighborhood least desired because there was more action over there. My mother did not want me going certain places. “ I am 16. I can go wherever I want to. You are the meanest mom in the world. I won’t be that way with my daughter.. I will let her go wherever she wanted to as long as she made it home on time.”
Again, Five years later…..Ten years later…….Twenty years later…….My 15 year old son says, “Mom, why can’t I ride my bike to FYE? I am on a bike , dugh. Not walking. I know it is getting dark, Mom but I am on my bike. I will get there and back faster. Man, you Bogus!!! “Did I keep my word about not treating my kids like my mom treated me? When we become parents ourselves, we do not look back at the time that we were growing up so much. We look at the here and now. I care about my son’s safety so if I am not going to ride to FYE with him when it is getting dark, he is just not going to be able to go. I don’t care what he thinks about me. Just like me, when he grows up and becomes a father he will understand. Just like Five years……Ten years……Twenty years later, I �inally know why my mother gave me boundaries that I tried so hard to cross.
Parents of Color magazine would love to hear your stories. Do you Parent like your Parents? In next month’s issue we are going to have a Child Psychologist speak about where our parenting skills derive from and what it tells us about us a parents. Please email your comments and stories to natasha@parentsofcolor.us. We will publish your story in next months issue as well as on our website