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Josephine April 2012

from the

St. Joseph’s women’s magazine

YOU CAN LEARN THE SECRETS OF GOOD DECOR Color palettes and a personal touch can go a long way

MORE INSIDE: Local H&R Block owner builds on her success

THE NEW WORLDS OF HAIR From wigs to extensions, you can change your style instantly and for as short or long as you want

Controlling your temper can help save relationships


ARE FOOD SENSITIVITIES

MAKING YOU

SICK?

Adverse reactions to foods and food chemicals Adv

can play a role in many common illnesses: • Fibromyalgia

• Joint and muscle pain

• Irritable bowel syndrome

• Weight imbalances

• Migraines and other headaches

• Heartburn/GERD

• Eczema/skin rashes

• Arthritis

• Autism/ADD

• Chronic sinusitis, chronic fatigue and insomnia

If foods are playing a role in your symptoms, a dietitian can help you find lasting relief. Contact your St. Joseph Hy-Vee dietitian to set up a consultation to find out if your food is making you sick and how to regain your health.

Sheri Caldwell, RD, LD, CLT

Registered Dietitian & Certified LEAP Food Sensitivity Therapist Visit all of our wonderful Hy-Vee departments:

FLORAL • KITCHEN • ITALIAN • CHINESE • DELICATESSEN • PRODUCE • BAKERY • SALAD BAR DAIRY • FROZEN • MEAT & SEAFOOD MARKET • PHARMACY • HEALTHMARKET • WINE & SPIRITS

• 201 N. Belt Hwy. • 816-232-9750 Follow us on

@ STJOSEPHHYVEE and become a fan on

at facebook.com/stjoehyvee


editorial: (816) 271-8594 toll-free: (800) 779-6397 advertising: (816) 271-8527 fax: (816) 271-8686 josephine@ newspressnow.com

Our staff Editor Jess DeHaven jess.dehaven@newspressnow.com Presentation editor Paul Branson paul.branson@newspressnow.com Photo editor Todd Weddle todd.weddle@newspressnow.com Designer George Stanton george.stanton@newspressnow.com

online extras Follow us on Twitter: @JosephineMag Find us on Facebook: facebook.com/ josephinemagazine

J

Josephine website: newspressnow. com/josephine

|04/12

Josephine

St. Joseph News-Press P.O. BOX 29 St. Joseph, MO 64502

the regulars editor’s note

4

events calendar

6

the 5

8

average joe

28

getting real

29

meal time

30

inside

Cover photography by Matt Reid/Josephine magazine

cover girl Mandi Massey knows a thing or two about hair. She’s been a stylist for 10 years, spending the last 2½ of those at Trendsetters in St. Joseph. She’s also tried out more than a few hairstyles of her own. “I’ve done it all,” she says. “I love hair, lots of hair.” Mandi has both worked on and worn hair extensions, which she says have grown in popularity in the last two years. “My hair is long now, but they are a lot of fun, a way to change it up,” she says. When she’s not working, you’re most likely to find Mandi hanging out with her 4½-year-old daughter, Aspen. “She’s very girlie and we do a lot together,” she says. “She’s a major diva, so we shop, dance and go to kid-appropriate concerts.” To read more about hair extensions and wigs, turn to page 22.

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| Josephine magazine |

April 2012

Stay sharp Six ways to improve your memory

10

Gift it forward? Regifting might be OK, but it really is the thought that counts

12

Decor for dummies Avoid decorating faux pas with personal touches and color palettes

14

Making it big, one Block at a time Local H&R Block owner uses her success to help other women

16

Return to sender How to greatly reduce the amount of junk mail you receive

20

The wonders of wigs and hair extensions The simple hair change, if only for a day

22

Temper, temper Controlling your anger will spare those you care about

24

You’re late... again! It’s time to clock in with some tips and tough love

26

3


editor’s note

Spring is here!

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By JESS DEHAVEN Spring’s finally here, and even though we had an unusually mild winter, something about being able to open up the windows and get outside has given me an extra burst of energy. For me, spring is a great time to clean up and freshen up around the house. In this month’s issue, we have a few stories designed to help you get your house in order. If you’re considering changing things up with the look of your home, check out Jennifer Gordon’s story on page 14. She’s talked to experts about common decorating mistakes and how to avoid them. If you’re going to put in the effort and the money, you want things to look good. If clutter is your problem, you may be considering what to do with some of those unwanted items you received for Christmas, Valentine’s Day or your birthday. Maybe you’re tempted to regift? Before you do, read Kristen Hare’s story on page 12. If the clutter is in the form of paper coming in through your mailbox, Kevin Krauskopf has tips on cutting down that junk. You can find that feature on page 20. And don’t forget to like us on Facebook (Josephine Magazine) and follow us on Twitter (@Josephinemag). Not only will you find links to our fresh content, you’ll also be eligible for upcoming giveaways and special Josephine events.

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april

area events

SUN

MON

Every Monday 9:45 a.m. (weigh-in at 8:30), TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) a non-profit, weight-loss support and education group, East Hills Church of Christ, 3912 Penn, 238-7245.

WED

April 3 6:30 p.m., Pony Express Chapter of Cowboys for Christ, Pony Express Saddle and Bridle Club, north of K Highway on County Road 371. Call 238-7503.

Every Wednesday 7 a.m., Farmer’s market, 3821 Eastridge Village. 7:30 a.m., St. Joseph BNI weekly meeting, Pony Express Museum. Call 262-9684.

April 17 6:30 p.m., Pony Express Chapter of ABWA meeting. To find out more and to make reservations, please call Vickie at (816) 244-5648 the Friday before the meeting. April 24 10 a.m., Welcome Wagon Social Club of St. Joseph, monthly meeting, Rolling Hills Library, 1904 N. Belt Highway. Call 279-1947.

April 2 7 to 9 p.m., St. Joseph Camera Club, Rolling Hills Consolidated Library. 6:30 to 9 p.m., NWMO Genealogy program, 1940 Census Release Party, with a speaker from the National Archives, 1940s music by Riversong and 1940s dances by Dance Arts Center, East Hills Library Theater. Refreshments and prizes, call 233-0524 for information.

April 16 3 p.m. and 7 p.m., Young Living Essential Oils presents free natural health seminar, 1570 Calhoun St., Chillicothe, Mo. Call (660) 707-0097 or e-mail millergloria@att.net. 6

TUE

7 p.m., Introductory session to Creighton Model Fertility Awareness and Appreciation, Heartland Medical Plaza. Course is designed to help couples cooperate with their fertility in family planning. Call 232-2258.

2012

THUR April 12 9:30 a.m. St. Joseph Garden Club meeting, Joyce Raye Patterson Senior Citizens Center, program “From Garden to Table” by Sheri Caldwell of Hy-Vee. Guests welcome. Call 232-9151.

FRI Every Friday 5 to 8 p.m., Friday Night Wine Tastings, Smooth Endings Fine Wines, Spirits and Cigars, corner of Belt and Beck, (816) 749-4WINE, $5 per person.

April 19 5:30 p.m., Wine Tasting, AlbrechtKemper Museum of Art. Cost is $10 per person. Call 232-9750. April 26 6:30 p.m., St. Joseph Aglow Community Lighthouse, St. Joseph Library at East Hills. Call 351-2139. 7 p.m. NWMO Genealogy program, John Atkinson, “The Life and Times of William Bent,” Corby Building, Fifth and Felix streets. Refreshments, no admission fee, call 2330524 for information.

3 p.m. and 7 p.m., Young Living Essential Oils presents free natural health seminar, 1570 Calhoun St., Chillicothe, Mo. Call (660) 707-0097 or e-mail millergloria@att. net.

April 2012

| Josephine magazine |

newspressnow.com/josephine

SAT Every Saturday 7 a.m., Farmer’s market, 3821 Eastridge Village. April 21 1 p.m., Hyde Forge Questers, 5900 N.E. Palomino Drive, program on Stetson Hats Co.


The

5 8

April 2012

tips for life

Online guide MONEY. For those who want to learn more about investing, the New York Times suggests the website LearnVest.com, a personal finance site geared toward women in their 20s and 30s. Complete a short questionnaire, and the site generates an action plan personalized to a woman’s unique situation.

| Josephine magazine |

The power of fire WHAT IS HE THINKING? Our Shea Conner explains an aspect of the male mind: Why do men love to barbecue so much? Why do they all gather around the grill like a bunch of condors around a rotting carcass? Many women often have asked this question. Heck, many accomplished members of academia have pondered this question as well. Some chalk it up to tradition. It’s an expected behavior that men have passed down through the ages. Our fathers barbecued. Our grandfathers barbecued. Now, we’ll do the barbecuing. Others consider the male affection for barbecue to be nothing more than a naturalistic fallacy. A few even claim that it’s a Neanderthal-esque instinct. The possessor of the meat — the source of the prestige food — is the one who’s going to impress the most females. I say they’re all wrong. We like barbecuing because we get to throw things on a fire. It’s the only time that cooking can be deathly dangerous.

newspressnow.com/josephine


Try for nice

Get to sleep easier

RELATE. Research shows that being considerate actually produces what’s called a “helper’s high” that can boost both your relationships and your health. A study conducted in 1988 found that 43 percent of participants said that after they helped someone, they were stronger and more energetic. Thirteen percent said they felt less pain.

HEALTH. If you want a good night’s sleep, turn off those electronics. According to a report in More magazine, the sleep-promoting hormone melatonin is suppressed by light. Any kind of light will make it harder for you to fall asleep, but especially the blue waves given off by LEDs (light-emitting diodes). That includes TV sets and the screens of many electronic devices. So don’t bring laptops to bed, and turn off the TV 30 to 60 minutes before you want to sleep.

Save the date ORGANIZE. Expiration dates serve their purpose, but in the case of some products, knowing how long a container has been open is a more helpful indication of whether it needs to be thrown out. Real Simple magazine recommends developing a habit to help with this: The first time you crack open a product in your fridge or pantry, write the month and year on a small sticker and place it on the bottom of the jar or bottle. Next time you reach for it, you’ll know just how fresh it really is.

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Stay sharp Six ways to improve your memory By SYLVIA ANDERSON I Josephine magazine

D

o you have trouble remembering names? Following directions? Recalling where you put your car keys? It’s not because you got the short end of the stick when brains were given out.

MATT REID/Josephine magazine photo illustration

10

April 2012

| Josephine magazine |

“We are all born with a certain potential, but your memory can be trained and improved at any age throughout your life,” says Dr. Pascale Michelon, author of “Max your Memory, the complete visual program.” Michelon is a cognitive scientist at Washington University and founder of The Memory Practice in St. Louis, Mo., a company dedicated to health and fitness. And some of the same things that keep your body in shape are responsible for the condition your memory is in, says Dr. Phillip D. Wann, professor and chair of the psychology department at Missouri Western State University, specializing in physiological psychology and neuropsychology of learning and memory.

newspressnow.com/josephine


Our experts suggest these six ways to make your memory razor sharp EXERCISE “Probably the most important factor for improving memory is regular physical exercise,” Wann says. “Exercise enhances lung and cardiovascular functioning, which has a direct effect on brain function.” Aerobic exercise, such as jogging, swimming, bicycling or dancing, is the type that has repeatedly been shown to influence the brain’s performance. Michelon suggests 30 minutes to an hour, three to four days a week. “New evidence suggests that resistance and strength physical training, such as using free weights and exercise machines for 60 minutes a week, can also improve brain function,” Michelon says.

CONTROL STRESS Chronic stress has negative effects on both your body and mind. “It can kill brain cells in regions supporting learning and memory,” Michelon says. But don’t try to control it with alcohol and cigarettes. Heavy drinking and smoking are associated with higher risks of dementia, Michelon says. A better idea is taking up yoga and meditation. They can help manage your stress by increasing the level of gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), a chemical in the brain that regulates the activity of neurons. Depression and anxiety are typically associated with low GABA levels. “Some older adults are thought to have dementia when they are actually suffering memory problems from depression,” Michelon says.

SLEEP Sleep deprivation impairs memory and judgment, Michelon says. On the other hand, a good night’s sleep can improve your memory for what you learned yesterday, what you have to do

today and how to do things, because sleep is when the brain refuels, organizes information and may play a role in consolidating “how-to” memories. To sleep soundly, avoid any caffeine, alcohol or nicotine before bedtime. Don’t eat a heavy meal and avoid strenuous physical activity (other than sex) within three hours of bedtime, Michelon suggests.

STAY MENTALLY ACTIVE “Staying mentally engaged with a variety of activities, including social events and regular interactions with other people, is also important,” Wann says. “There are some studies that suggest challenging games, crossword puzzles, etc. are useful in maintaining mental function. I don’t find these studies very convincing, but these activities certainly can’t hurt and they may help.” The problem with regularly doing crossword puzzles, for example, is that after doing them year after year, they are no longer a challenge, Michelon explains. In the same way, watching TV does not challenge your brain either, unless it is an educational program, she says. Activities such as reading, writing, visiting museums, lectures, games and playing cards are more cognitively effective. And maybe shopping helps, too. “At one conference, I heard a Harvard Medical School neuroscientist who is an expert on Alzheimer’s disease argue that shopping is the very best activity for delaying the onset of AD,” Wann says. “Shopping involves complex cognition and decision making, so she may be right.”

TRY MIND GAMES As we age, brain cells shrink and lose connection between them, Michelon says. But a recent study found that this can be reversed after two months if people learn and recall information daily. There are some “mind games” you can do to help

improve your memory. For example, in “Max Your Memory,” Michelon suggests using the “Journey Method” to memorize lists. You take a mental walk through your house or on a familiar route to work. Then create a link between each item on your list. So if you need to pick up stamps at the post office, you might imagine a poster of a giant “stamp” hanging on the wall of your entrance hall. Imagine books sitting in your dining room, to remind you to go to the library. When you are done, you just take a memory walk to remember the whole list. That’s because pictures are easier to remember than words.

FOCUS Many memory problems are actually caused by a failure to focus and attend to what is important to remember, Mann says. It may seem like multi-tasking can help you get more done in a day, but don’t do it. Instead focus on one thing at a time. And schedule any task requiring a lot of recall for when you are well rested and alert.

NEED MORE HELP? g “Max Your Memory” has 200 exercises, strategies and tips to boost your memory and is available at most bookstores and at www. thememorypractice.com. g For older people who may be worried about their memories, Wann suggests taking a simple test developed at Ohio State University that can be found online at http:// sagetest.osu.edu. It is called the Self-Administered GeroCognitive Examination (SAGE) and takes about 15 minutes to complete. Those who do not do well on this brief test should then consult a physician for a more extensive assessment.


Gift it forward? By KRISTEN HARE I Josephine magazine

T

o regift or not to regift? That is the question. Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of really bad gifts, or to take arms against a sea of junk, and by regifting them, end them.

12

April 2012

| Josephine magazine |

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Regifting might be OK, but it really is the thought that counts OK. Sorry. Shakespeare didn’t write that, but the famous lines from “Hamlet” (“To be or not to be...”) sort of captures the angst of regifting. Is it OK? Not OK? Isn’t it better to pass something along that you don’t really want? Or is that just bad form? “Yes, it’s OK to regift,” says Michelle Spotts, who works at Country Boutique. “I think people do it all the time.” They might, but how do you know when it’s OK and when it’s not? Emilypost.com offers these tips on regifting, which, the site points out, is really a product of most of us having too much stuff.

REGIFTING IS OK, THE SITE SAYS, IF: g You’re sure the person you’re regifting to will really like the gift. g It’s totally new, in the original packaging.

Spotts would not regift anything that was personal, such as clothing, but home decor items, such as candles, are probably fine, she says. If, on the other hand, someone took the time to get something for you, expecting to see you in it, or it up in your home, you should keep it, she says. “I put that stuff out when they come to visit,” she says. “That’s a hard call.” For Sherry Trout, owner of Keeping Good Company, it’s not about regifting, but regiving. If she gets something that a friend could use more, then maybe that’s OK. But never for birthdays or weddings. Don’t regive to be cheap, but because you know someone who needs the object. “As long as you rewrap it,” she adds, “and you have good intentions behind it, I don’t see anything wrong with it.” For Tammi Gumm, owner of Clara’s Fashions, however, the intentions of the original gifter also should be considered.

If someone takes the time and effort to pick something out just for you, she says, then you better keep it. In high school, she says, monogrammed sweaters were all the rage, and she got one as a gift. “It was the ugliest thing I have ever seen,” she says. But she told the giver she loved it. However, if it’s really something you can’t use, then instead of regifting, why not find a charity or a fundraiser? “Give it to someone so that possibly some good can come out of it,” she says. Emilypost.com has one other rule in regifting etiquette. Whatever it is you’re regifting, make sure it’s not something you got from the person you’re about to give it to. Not only would they be horribly offended, but you might not get anything from them after that. To gift — to regift, no more.

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Decor for dummies Avoid decorating faux pas with personal touches and color palettes By JENNIFER GORDON I Josephine magazine

H

ome decor faux pas and fashion don’ts often share the same roots: colors and

patterns. To keep a living space from the home decor equivalent of a “What Not to Wear” nomination, simplify your designs.

JESSICA STEWART/Josephine magazine

Sherry Trout recommends using like colors and greenery to bring together a bookcase or arrangement.

14

April 2012

| Josephine magazine |

Pick a color palette for the whole house, recommends Sherry Trout, owner and designer of Keeping Good Company. Rooms don’t have to be the same color, but they should flow together, especially if there’s no separation between the living room and the kitchen, or the sitting room and the dining room. “If you have a purple living room and the kitchen’s brown, your eye will stop,” Trout says. Instead, try a red tone in the living room if you want to keep the kitchen the same color. Ceilings and trimmings also can be painted a lighter shade on the paint palette for an added touch. Decor also should reflect a similar color theme. If there’s chartreuse in the throw pillows, a similar shade of chartreuse should appear somewhere else in the room, maybe in a vase or a painting. When you consider adding a decorative

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Include small seasonal pieces that can be changed out easily to reflect the time of year.

object to a room, give it the same consideration you would a new sweater. Don’t make a purchase that doesn’t match anything you own. Go easy on the trends. Turquoise might be everywhere in stores, but you don’t want curtains to show the decade they were purchased the way your grandmother’s shag carpet or avocado green love seat marks that time period. Going timeless with big pieces like couches and curtains serves you better in the long term because it gives you freedom to play with different colors and patterns, says Nancy Gillespie, an area woman who owns interior design booths in both Kat & Co and Rusty Chandelier. Her basics allowed her to try out a bolder trend. Gillespie recently reupholstered her chairs with a floral pattern and balanced it with stripes, a move that wouldn’t have been stylish 10 years ago. Though colors ought to coordinate, types of items can and should vary. Houses with a lot of antique furniture should try a touch of shabby chic’s painted furniture, recommends Kathy Boatright, owner of Kat and Co. Trout agrees. “If your room looks like a page from a catalog, that’s kind of a mistake because you don’t live that way,� she says. “Maybe an idea is a look from a magazine that you like and then you incorporate your own stuff.� Leave room for family picture frames on the mantle or on the bookshelves. Keep the frames coordinated by buying different sizes in the same material or hues. Bring out an inherited decorative plate or vase if it’s in the room’s color scheme. “I think when I go to friends’ homes, the ones I love the most are the ones that show their personality. Some friends have

very elegant, expensive things, but it’s not interesting,� Boatright says. Fixing faux pas don’t require purchases or paint. Bring sofas and tables away from the corners of the room to create cozier conversation settings. Lower a picture or a painting to incorporate it with the top of an end table or a bookshelf. Check to make sure an area rug has an anchor in a sitting area, either under the dining room table or by the couch. If you’re not sure what decor mistakes you’re making or if you fixed them, bring in a trusted friend or family member to help. Sometimes in homes, as in clothing stores, a second opinion can be all you need to avoid a misstep.

Before

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Making it big, one Block at a time Local H&R Block owner uses her success to help other women succeed By ERIN WISDOM I Josephine magazine

S

is Woods’ career history has come with its splashes of glamour. She shared a corporate jet with actor James Garner, for example, when she worked for Hallmark and went on a publicity tour for its 1986 television movie “Promise.” She went to the Emmys every year she worked for Hallmark. And today, she is the proud owner of eight H&R Block offices in St. Joseph, Savannah, Lathrop, Plattsburg and Smithville.

True, this last tidbit may not fit with the former ones — and it likely doesn’t seem as exciting on the surface as any career path laced with Hollywood perks. But for Woods, it’s every bit as big a deal. “When I had the chance to purchase offices here, I thought ‘What a great opportunity,’” says Woods, whose tenure with H&R Block goes back to years before she began purchasing her franchises in October 2009. And her family ties to St. Joseph go back even further, although she is a Kansas City native and continues to live there — sort of. “Let’s say I sleep in Kansas City; it’s like I live here.” Prior to this arrangement, Woods spent about eight years at the start of her career in retail management, putting to use a degree in fashion merchandising. She then took a couple of years off when her children Please see LOCAL/Page 18

Sis Woods is pictured at her St. Joseph H&R Block office, located at 702 S. Belt Highway. MATT REID/Josephine magazine

16

April 2012

| Josephine magazine |

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Sis Woods is the owner of eight H&R Block offices in St. Joseph, Savannah, Lathrop, Plattsburg and Smithville.

Local H&R Block owner uses her success to help other women succeed CONTINUED FROM Page 16 were young and used that time to earn a master’s degree in statistics. This came in handy when, after a couple more years off with her kids following her time at Hallmark, she went to work for Morgan Stanley and then was recruited by H&R Block to manage 13 offices in Bakersfield, Calif. She later worked on developing the textbooks used in tax-preparation classes, then served as a consultant for 42 franchises in seven states. All of this prepared her not only for owning her own franchises but also for understanding the needs of her employees, 90 to 95 percent of whom are women. “I think family is so important,” she says, “and one reason this job is so great for women is that it gives them flexibility.” Perhaps this is why every summertime class she’s offered for prospective hires has been full. Everyone who is hired is required to take an additional 24 hours of classes each year, outside of tax season — and they aren’t the only ones staying busy. In addition to focusing on training classes, marketing plans and office remodels or moves during the off-season, Woods also is developing a business services group under her franchise umbrella aimed at helping people set up and manage companies. Since starting this last summer, she’s

had a handful of clients — the kind of slow and steady start she feels is important in maintaining her core franchises and helping her nearly 80 employees find success in what they do. Among these is Ruth McDonald, the manager of the Smithville office and a 22-year H&R Block veteran. “I never, ever thought I’d be a company person,” McDonald says, adding that the flexibility H&R Block offered her when her children were younger and the sense she had that the company cared about her family are what changed her mind on this point. Feeling like she plays a valued role in the company matters, too, especially since Woods has come on board: “Since Sis has taken over, she’s made a point to make sure everyone’s involved in the growth of the company. She’s really interested in collaborating with people.” Having herself been with the company so long and in so many positions, Woods knows the payoff of staying power — and it’s something she hopes to help her employees enjoy, as well. “I love the tax professionals I work with; they’re very committed to doing the best for their clients and ensuring their clients receive the refunds they’re entitled to,” she says. “That’s really rewarding. I know if I can keep them for three years, I’ve got them hooked for life.”

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Return to sender How to reduce the amount of junk mail you receive By KEVIN KRAUSKOPF I Josephine magazine

Y

our mailbox might be full, but how many of those envelopes are going straight in the trash can? If you’re fed up with junk mail, rest assured: There are ways to greatly reduce how much of it you get.

“You can almost wipe it out entirely” in a few simple steps, says Aaron Reese, manager of information and media services for the Better Business Bureau of Greater Kansas City. But first, how do all those companies get your name and address to begin with? Well, it almost always comes from you, Reese says, either directly or indirectly. Any time you provide your personal information when buying a product or service, there’s a good chance the company will add you to its mailing list. Unless the company explicitly states they won’t do so, you can bet they’re going to sell that information to other companies as well. Josephine magazine photo illustration

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Please see Page 21


Get the junk out of your mail with a few easy steps CONTINUED FROM Page 20

STEP 1, then, in reducing how much junk mail fills your mailbox is simple: Be judicious about with whom you share your personal information. According to the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse website, www.privacyrights.org, your information can be sold after you buy a car or a house, use a shopping card, sign up for a credit card, subscribe to a magazine, buy something from a catalog, give money to charity or fill out a product registration form. Seems like you can’t win, right? “You can have your information acquired by lots of different people very quickly,” Reese says. Some junk mail is just annoying. Other junk mail, however, can contain sensitive information that can be used to steal your identity or open a credit card in your name. Any credit card offer you receive, Reese says, should be shredded. If you leave it intact and put in the trash, a motivated criminal could dig through your garbage and fraudulently fill out the offer. Not to mention, a criminal who doesn’t want to get his hands dirty — literally — could

swipe the offer right out of your mailbox, he warns. Luckily, the Federal Trade Commission and the Consumer Credit Reporting Industry offer a way out. STEP 2 in reducing your junk mail is to visit optoutprescreen.com, a site run by CCRI, and fill out the online forms. Or, you can submit your request by calling (888) 567–8688. Doing so allows you to opt out of all credit and insurance offers for five years, or, by printing out a form and mailing it in, never receive an unsolicited offer again. (Reese says it may take roughly 60 days to stop receiving offers after opting out.) A Feb. 15 article on usnews.com states that the protection offered through optout prescreen.com won’t remove you from credit card companies’ internal mailing lists. Contact each credit card company you hold a card with to stop receiving their internal offers. For other types of unsolicited offers, you can fortunately do a lot of damage at once. “You just have to contact the Direct Marketing Association and ask them to be taken of the mailing lists,” Reese says. “ ... That takes care of a large chunk in

one swoop.” A large swoop, indeed. STEP 3 in reducing your junk mail is more like taking out 5,000 birds with one stone. The DMA, on request, will remove you from a list that a group of more than 5,000 marketing and sales companies use. For a $1 fee, you can opt out of commercial offers from companies that use this list for five years. To do so, visit www.dmachoice.org. However, any time you give your information to a new company, your address can wind up on another mailing list. Reese suggests going to optoutprescreen.com and dmachoice.org once every year or two — or whenever the junk mail starts to pile up again. “You have to be somewhat vigilant in staying on top of it,” he says. If it’s your e-mail inbox that’s flooded with junk, there’s hope for you yet. Email services such as Gmail and Hotmail have effective spam filters. And Reese points out, any unsolicited e-mail offer that does make it through will contain an opt-out link, per the Can-Spam Act. However, the more you give out your email address, the more spam you’re going to get.

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A wig is pictured from Hair Goods, owned by Justine and Harold White on Seventh Street in Downtown St. Joseph.

The wonders of wigs and hair extensions By LINDSAY LADEROUTE I Josephine magazine

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very now and then, women get bored with their hair. Sometimes it’s the cut; other times it’s the color. But most of the time, we are either too scared to make the change or change our minds so much that we would want a new style the next day.

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| Josephine magazine |

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The simple hair change, if only for a day A simple way to play with your look without making a permanent change is to invest in wigs or extensions. Any woman easily can change her hair, even day to day, with the correct use of a wig or clip-in extensions. Wigs and extensions come in a variety of materials. “They can be made of yak hair, synthetic hair or human hair,” says Manda Kay Sanders, a hairstylist who lives in Overland Park, Kan. When choosing between synthetic or real hair, it is important to know how you want to wear and use your hairpiece. If you want to be able to wear it either straight or curly, human hair is the best choice. “Human hair wigs and extensions can be styled as usual, although I would recommend not using the highest setting on styling tools to avoid damaging the hair,” says Heidi Bowles, a hairstylist who lives in Overland Park. If you are looking into buying a synthetic hairpiece, be aware that many synthetic hairpieces will melt if you use hot tools on them, Sanders says. The price of a wig or extensions varies a lot. When it comes to price, “the quality of the hair is always a major factor along with length,” Bowles says. Blonde hairpieces are usually a bit more expensive because they are generally color treated. But fear not, there are hairpieces available within anyone’s budget. “They can be as cheap as $10 or cost you up to thousands,” Sanders says. The best places to buy them are at beauty stores or at a salon. But be wary of ordering them online, Bowles says. “Ordering online leaves a lot of room for error in color, size, density and fit,” she says. The best way to store your wig or extensions is in a box wrapped in tissue paper, Bowles says. Be sure to gently comb them out before placing them in storage. For human hairpieces, you should clean them after three or four uses or after using heavy products.

Want more

“Human hair can be washed by hand with cool water, shampoo and conditioner. Synthetic wigs and extensions should not be washed. A synthetic wig can be ‘freshened’ with a dry shampoo,” Bowles says. Don’t worry about your current hairstyle when choosing a wig; the only necessity is to be able to tuck all of your hair under the wig. For extensions, be aware of your length. “When adding extensions, it is best to have at least 4 inches of length. The length is necessary to cover the clips of the extensions,” Bowles says. If your current cut does not effectively cover the clips, the extensions will be noticeable and will not correctly blend with your natural hair. Mandi Massey of Trendsetters in St. Joseph prefers working with sewn-in extensions. She says those do need more

maintenance, however. “They need to be tightened every six to eight weeks,” she says. “I get close to those clients because I see them so frequently.” Massey says the sewn-in option is popular as a temporary fix for those trying to grow their hair longer and for special-occasion events like weddings. “It just gives you more to work with,” she says. The next time you get a hankering to change your hair, be sure to stop by your salon or a beauty supply store to look into investing in a wig or extensions. They are one of the best accessories to own. You can easily add drama to any look or try out a different hair color without it being permanent. Don’t worry about it looking fake, because as Sanders says, “done right no one will ever know.”

Submitted photo

Blonde hair extensions usually are more expensive because they are generally color treated. Hairpieces can be as cheap as $10 or can range in the thousands of dollars.

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Temper, temper Controlling your anger will spare those you care about By KELLY FINDLEY I Josephine magazine

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ou can get glad in the same pants you got mad in. We’ve all heard a million times that it’s a waste to stay angry, but we’re human. We just can’t forget overnight that someone has hurt our feelings or maybe hurt someone we care about. TODD WEDDLE/Josephine magazine photo illustration

“People displace their anger and take it out on not-deserving people like spouses or family,” says Dave Brown, director of counseling at Missouri Western State University. People tend to get mad at work, and to keep their job they push down their temper until they are at home where they won’t get in trouble. They won’t have the chance of getting fired for just one bad day. “When someone is unable to control their anger, relationships take a major toll,” says Susan Shuman with The Center. “This is true in any setting: work, home, with friends, etc. It could also escalate to the point where the police or other authorities have to become involved in order to ensure safety of others.” When you take anger home though, it’s normally the people you love who get the worst part of the deal. Though it is not always the best way to deal with anger, people must find a way to release it. “Controlling your temper is important for the simple fact that it can help keep you out of some kind of trouble,” Shuman says. “Whether it be with a significant other, co-worker, family member, friend or truly any other person,

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being able to control your anger and associated behaviors helps to keep things from getting out of control.” Anger is a basic human emotion that shouldn’t make us feel ashamed. “It is what we do with it that makes the difference,” Brown says. Self-control is a major functioning part of being able to handle your temper. Brown says it might be silly, but counting to 10 will help you calm down. Or try other things such as walking away or finding that person who you can talk through things with and who can help to calm you down. “The use of simple coping skills may be a good place to start when learning to better manage your anger,” Shuman says. Coping skills are walking away and ignoring the distraction that is upsetting you, taking deep breaths or talking to someone. But people are not limited to these, Shuman says. Being angry is normal. It is the blind rage that people should find help for. If you know that you are not good with confrontation, then avoid it as much as possible. Don’t be the person who creates the tension.

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You’re late ... again

It’s time to clock in with some tips and tough love By CATHY WOOLRIDGE I Josephine magazine

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ou’ve planned a night out with the girls, but one of the girls is late. Again. No matter what the occasion, she always will be at least 15 to 30 minutes late. It’s so annoying. Why can’t she be on time?

“People need to understand that lateness, like most behavior, is complicated,” says Dr. Adam Buhman-Wiggs, assistant professor of psychology at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kan., a licensed psychologist in Kansas and president of the Kansas Psychological Association. To be fair, all of us have been guilty of being late on occasion. Sometimes it’s just unavoidable. There was an emergency, the car broke down, your doctor was swamped and you had to wait, the baby sitter wasn’t on time, something came up at work ... For others, being late is a habit. Research has shown that 15 to 20 percent of the population has a problem with being on time. And simply telling someone to be on time is often as futile as telling a person who loves chocolate not to eat it. It just doesn’t work. “Oftentimes, they can be very apologetic, but it (lateness) continues,” Buhman-Wiggs says. To tackle the problem, you need to understand the reason for the lateness, experts say. Buhman-Wiggs says that attitude can be a big reason for lateness. According to WebMD.com, some people are late because they don’t want to do what others tell them (“you’re not the boss of

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me�), they want or need to be in control and being late is one way to do that, or they’re just self-indulgent. Perhaps they fear having to wait for others to arrive so they make sure to arrive last (and usually late). And, sometimes, the tardiness may be due to their inability to manage time effectively. Whatever the reasons, chronic lateness affects not only personal but professional relationships. It can end a friendship, lose a person a job and disrupt family life. The solution is a combination of communication and a little tough love. First, the person who is always late needs to have an honest “conversation� with herself or himself about why he or she can’t be on time and how to change that behavior, Buhman-Wiggs says. Finding an accountability buddy might help, he adds. The accountability buddy can help set goals, such as “if you are on time for a week, I will buy dinner.� Of course, communication isn’t one-sided. Those fed up with the chronically late person need to get involved, too. Experts say to talk with the person who is always late and share your frustrations with her behavior. Let her know your expectations and that, from now on, her behavior will have consequences. “Make sure their lateness has a negative consequence,� Buhman-Wiggs says. For instance, tell your friend that if she is more than 15 minutes late, you will leave. Then, if she’s still late, leave. “You have to be willing to follow through,� Buhman-Wiggs says. If lateness is due more to the inability to effectively manage your time, ehow.com offers these tips:

      

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g Set specific, attainable and realistic goals. Make a time calendar, suggests WebMD. com. Write down how much time you think you will need to do tasks and how much time it actually took you to complete those tasks. Then, allow yourself even more time to do the tasks and that will help you be on time. “The most powerful thing they can do is an attitude change,� Buhman-Wiggs says.

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average joe

T Coming together Interracial marriage becoming more mainstream

ALONZO WESTON is a columnist and reporter for the St. Joseph News-Press. The St. Joseph native has served on the News-Press staff for more than 20 years. He and his wife, Deanna, have two children and a dog. The St. Joseph native is also a sports junkie who doesn’t pick up after himself. If you’d like to suggest an idea for this column, contact Alonzo at alonzo.weston@ newspressnow.com.

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he hardest thing to get used to was the spaghetti. In my household and that of other black families, we mixed the pasta, sauce and hamburger all together in a big pot to make spaghetti. When my wife, Deanna, and I got together, I saw she cooked the pasta and sauce separate like they did in many white households and restaurants. I never saw the point in cooking and serving pasta and sauce separate. To me it seemed logical to cook it all together so the flavors would blend better with the pasta. But after awhile of living together, I got used to my wife’s way of cooking spaghetti. Now it seems foreign to eat it any other way. Another thing we had to get used to was Thanksgiving dinners. I grew up where we not only had turkey on the table but collard greens, chitterlings and, every now and then, some sort of wild game. By contrast, my wife grew up where noodles were a Thanksgiving staple. For her, collards and chitterlings might as well have been on a menu from Mars. Over time, our Thanksgiving dinners have become a compromise of cultures. There’s no chitterlings or wild game, but collard greens and noodles are fine. Food aside, my wife and I found that we had more in common than we had differences. And our

| Josephine magazine |

differences had less to do with racial culture than with personal tastes. She likes more R&B music than I do. I like more jazz. She likes Mexican food. I like ribs. She likes “American Idol.” I hate it. When we got together more than 30 years ago, we had few things in common with other couples. We were one of the few interracial couples in not only the city but the United States. Most everywhere we went we got funny looks. Now according to a recent Pew Research Center study, we’re part of a growing number of interracial couples in the United States. According to the study, 15 percent of all new marriages in 2010 were interracial. The total number of all mixed marriages is 8.4 percent, compared to 3.2 percent in 1980. The study also said that 63 percent of Americans now view interracial marriage as acceptable, compared to 30 years ago when only 33 percent of Americans approved of mixed marriages. Due to this increase in interracial marriages, multiracial Americans have become a fastgrowing demographic group. Currently they make up 8 percent of the minority population. “The rise in interracial marriage indicates that race relations have improved over the past quarter century,” said Daniel Lichter, a Cornell University sociology professor quoted in a Washington Post article. “Mixed-race children have blurred America’s color line. They often interact with others on either side of the racial divide and frequently serve as brokers between friends and family members of different racial backgrounds.” Race has never decided for me whom I should love.

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arage sale season is here. Folks everywhere now get up an hour earlier so they can “hit a few sales” before they go into work. My mother was the queen of garage sales. She went every single day. Nothing made her happier than opening up the newspaper in January and exclaiming, “Oh, a garage sale in winter!” This was her hobby before there were shows like “American Pickers” on television. She would get up very early in the morning because, as she explained, “all the good stuff is gone by 10” and take off, only to return late morning with a car full of stuff we may never use — but the price was right. She did have her share of mishaps, like the expensive leather boots she purchased for my father. Once he tried them on, we found the reason they were so cheaply priced was they were two different sizes. Then there was the time she bought me a beautifully embellished shirt. I proudly stepped off of the school bus and went into my fifth-grade class when the curlyheaded girl who sat next to me said, “Hey, that’s my shirt!” Embarrassed, I replied, “No, we bought it at a fancy store in Kansas City.” She replied, “My mom embroidered it by hand and I watched her. She just sold it at a garage sale.” Needless to say, I never wore that shirt again. I never inherited my mother’s love of the garage sale. I tried a few times to get my piece of the bargain pie, but I just walked away thinking, “I prefer my sales at the store.” Except for the time my sister dragged me out, convincing me it was a great day for a sale. When we arrived at the location written on the glow-in-the-dark sign stapled to the electrical pole, we walked in the back door like they directed.

The typical array of clothes was hung neatly around the room, old kitchen gadgetry was placed on folding tables and books that had been read had colorful stickers on the front that stated the price the homeowner was suggesting. I scanned the room and saw a gold frame leaning up against the wall. I walked to it and knew immediately it was so unique I had to have it. Inside the frame was a handpainted canvas with tiny three-dimensional, hand-crafted flowers popping up from it. It was beautiful, but my thoughts were on the thick frame that I just knew I could take home and put something else in. I asked the young lady who held the money box, “How much for the picture?” She replied, “Would you go “five”? My mom is an artist and she made it, so it is kind of special.” I looked at it and knew I was going to dismantle it when I got home, so I did the garage sale thing. “Will you take three-fifty?” She hum-hawed around, then said, “My parents divorced and she left the painting for my dad. He said to take whatever was offered because he hated it and wanted it gone. I guess three-fifty will do.” I walked over to her and handed her a $5 bill. She looked at me. “Seriously?” I said, “Oh, do you not have change?” She looked at me and replied, “My mom is going to be so mad.” Then she handed me my change. I took the painting to the car, still confused as to why the checkout girl seemed so upset. Then my sister brought clarity. “You just bought a $500 painting for $3.50!” I laughed at her silliness, until she took an invisible pencil and connected the dots for me. She was right. Since that day, my beautiful work of art hangs prominently in my front room, and needless to say, I did not dismantle it. Every time I look at it I think, “I may stink at garage sales, but my mom would be so proud of my bargain.”

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| Josephine magazine |

getting real

Bagging the bargain Another garage sale season is upon us STACEY MOLLUS is a humor columnist who believes laughter is the best form of exercise and happy people are the best looking people. She loves her family, chocolate, clothes that are stretchy and things that sparkle. You can contact her at queenofchocolates@live.com or follow her on Facebook at “Queen of Chocolates.”

April 2012

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meal time

Tahoe time A wonderful perk of living in San Francisco/Sonoma, Calif., was being three hours away from Lake Tahoe. We rented a house there for a week each summer and winter, looking a lot like Dust Bowl refugees when we were on the road. Two vehicles carrying two adults, four girls and two large dogs. Winter meant skis, poles, snow boards and sleds. Summer meant bicycles, tennis rackets and roller blades. Along with games, clothes, supplies and my Cusinart, we were packed! A long day skiing or on the water was really tiring. Yet, hungry faces were always looking at me (something like baby birds). The following recipes made my life much easier. ERIC KEITH/Josephine magazine

Tahoe tart

Pepper pie This is a ratio recipe, so use your favorite peppers and cheese. I used canned green chilies and Monterey Jack with cilantro for Mexican, fresh roasted red and yellow peppers with goat cheese and basil for the California version. Just make sure to blot dry the chilies or peppers if jarred or canned. 8 to 12 ounces roasted chilies or peppers 1½ cups grated cheese 4 eggs 1½ cups milk Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste Herb of choice, finely chopped Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Butter the bottom of a 9-inch deep-dish pie or quiche pan. Line bottom of pan with peppers. Sprinkle cheese evenly over the chilies. Beat eggs lightly, add milk, salt and pepper, mix well, pour over cheese. Bake for 15 minutes, then lower heat to 325. Bake 20 to 30 minutes more or until the custard seems set. If the custard trembles a bit, remove from oven, it will continue to cook. Don’t overcook; a knife inserted should come out clean. Sprinkle herbs on top.

Garlic rolls We grilled a lot in the summer, so I often served these super easy garlic rolls. Everybody loved them.

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1/2 teaspoon salt (I use kosher) 1 tablespoon water 1 teaspoon very finely chopped garlic 2 teaspoons finely chopped parsley 1/4 cup vegetable oil 8 heated soft white dinner rolls In a small bowl, stir the salt into the water and let stand for several minutes until salt is dissolved, then stir again. Add garlic, parsley and oil, mix again. Put heated rolls close together in a shallow dish and drizzle the flavored oil evenly over them. Serve immediately.

smooth top, tap pan on counter to removed any air bubbles and settle down the batter. Bake 35 to 45 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out with only a few moist crumbs attached (it will be chocolate covered). Let rest for 10 minutes, then run knife around the edges. Invert onto serving platter, sprinkle with confectioner’s sugar. Serve warm or room temperature with whipped cream or ice cream.

Tahoe tart A quick yet elegant dessert, this tart worked when we had company both winter and summer. 3 cups nuts, toasted and finely ground (your choice, walnuts, pecans, filberts, etc.) 1 box premium brownie mix, 17.6- to 22.5ounce box size (I use Ghirardelli. This does not work with a cheap mix.) 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted 1/3 cup milk, whole or 2 percent 1 large egg, lightly beaten Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Butter 9-inch round cake pan and line bottom with parchment paper. Combine all ingredients, mixing well. Pour batter into prepared pan,

| Josephine magazine |

LONNIE GANDARA TAYLOR is a St. Joseph native who has returned home after a prestigious career in the culinary field. She taught cooking classes in the San Francisco Bay area for years and was a professional assistant to Julia Child, James Beard, Martha Stewart, Simone Beck and Martin Yan, among others. She is a graduate of the Paris Cordon Bleu, the Academie du Vin in Paris and the first culinary class held in the Oriental Hotel in Bangkok, as well as being the author of five cookbooks.

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Josephine April 2012