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The Man in the Bear Outfit


Copyright © Jan Noble 2010 ISBN 978-1-907513-21-3 First published 2010 by Not Your Average Type www.notyouraveragetype.com info@notyouraveragetype.com

Nº 9/12 for Kim


The Man in the Bear Outfit


1 You don‘t say - You know the one about the guy in the bear outfit? - The guy in the bear costume? - No, the guy in the bear outfit. - What‘s the difference? - The guy in the bear costume‘s dressing up, he‘s just pretending to be a bear.


2 Who is to say Most of the time he‘s docile we never see him, he‘s sleeping. Most of the time we spend watching The Observation Channel we never see him. We know he can be dangerous. We spend most of our time exploring the four corners of the flat screen watching the movie mirror for proof of his existence. Most of the time we don‘t find him. Granddaddy said he saw him once


dipping his paw into a silver lake. He said his fur came out all soggy but the ripples, he said the ripples . . . Granddaddy said he was lucky. Mind you Granddaddy had stayed up awful late. In fact Granddaddy‘s been up an awful long time. Sometimes I think Granddaddy might be the man in the bear outfit. Something about his eyes like they‘re not his real eyes


3 Let it be said The man in the bear outfit fits the bear outfit. The man in the bear outfit hunts by night. The man in the bear outfit does not think he is worthy of the bear outfit. The man in the bear outfit considers the bear outfit from the inside. The man in the bear outfit observes the changing of the seasons knows well the long summer months and is grateful in winter. The man in the bear outfit is generally aware of how ridiculous the bear outfit is.


The man in the bear outfit does not choose to wear the bear outfit but does so despite its irritation. The man in the bear outfit is ready to die in the bear outfit but not because of the bear outfit ready to defend himself knowing that the bear outfit offers him no obvious protection apart from the fact that it is a bear outfit knowing that it is not the bear outfit that he will be defending. The man in the bear outfit knows that every bear outfit is different. The man in the bear outfit does not know his own color. The man in the bear outfit does not know whether or not he is a woman or just a man in a bear outfit.


The man in the bear outfit winks at the girl in chicken outfit. The girl in the chicken outfit doesn’t know The man in the bear outfit is winking at her because The man in the bear outfit is wearing a bear outfit. Tonight The man in the bear outfit remembers how cold the world is and how lonely it is being The man in the bear outfit. He zips up tightly and prepares for another sleep hunting dream hugging night of moons reflecting on placid winter lakes of a million silver fish in cool water pools of rolling over and over in the snow and how it would be to be


with all this and without his bear outfit.


4 What the man in the bear outfit never tells us under his bear outfit the man in the bear outfit sometimes wears another outfit

what we don‘t know is the outfit he wears under his bear outfit another bear outfit?

what we shall never know which outfit the man in the bear outfit considers to be his one true outfit


what we shouldn‘t want to know what the man the man in the bear outfit has on when he takes off all of his outfits


5 Some answers to some questions that the man in the bear outfit is often asked no, no I‘m not a wolf in sheep‘s clothing no, I told you it is not a costume no, not a uniform not fancy dress no, it is necessary. I do not dress up for state occasions yes, no, yes what you see is not what you get no, yes, no no more questions please, no more questions.


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The Man in the Bear Outfit