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Well first of all, I don’t enjoy sneezing all day, and I don’t really care for your mocking me. So when I’m sneezing, just back off, O.K.? I mean, really. It’s not my fa—ah—ah…Oh! Excuse me. So sorry. Here…wipe that off there. I’ve taken all the medicine in the package just this morning, even though it said it was supposed to last all season—Ah—ah—Oh! Sorry again. My bad. What is what? Huh. Funky. I’m not really sure what that is, but I’m pretty sure it came out of my nose. I—I—phooey! Pardon, here let me get that. Oh, wow. Mushy. I understand what it looks like, but

I’m sure it’s just mucous. Give me a break. Nobody’s ever sneezed that hard. Sheesh! Besides, I’m sure if that’s what it was, there would be some definite comse…consen… consequences. What do you mean, “Like what?” Somethink like just spicking to you, I guess. Don’t you thimk I would have sun difficutty? Thass not what I said. I’m spenking ravver plainly. Maybe iss you—ah— ah—jenkees! Back off, man! I’m the one who hassa deal wiff it, so don’ be selling me wha to do! I’ll jus’ shove it all backup innare an’ evertink will juss be hunky-dunky. Serrously. Are you laffung aa me?

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One of the stories from the book, "Twisted: Tales to Rot Your Brain Vol. 1"