NOT SO GLAMOROUS Episode 1 - To Tinseltown
Written by Nolan Collins Story by Danielle Edmond
HOLLYWOOD BLVD - DAY
HEATHER (18), attractive and wide-eyed, walks with KEVIN (20), handsome and stylish. Heather looks down at the stars that grace the sidewalk. HEATHER I thought these would look nicer. They see Marilyn Monroe’s star. HEATHER (CONT’D) Marilyn would not approve. KEVIN Nobody should approve, Heather. This is disgusting. HEATHER I still want one... one day. KEVIN We need money first. HEATHER It cost’s money to get one of these?! KEVIN Well, it does... but I mean we need money for rent. They reach the BANK. HEATHER We’re here, Kev. Where all our fantasies come to an abrupt halt. KEVIN What happened to the glass that was half full? HEATHER Someone must’ve drank that half. They head into the bank. INT.
BANK - CONTINUOUS
Heather and Kevin take their place at the end of the line.
2. KEVIN How much money do you have? Heather reaches in her purse and pulls out a wad of bills. She separates them out... a five and two ones. HEATHER Seven bucks. Kevin rolls his eyes. KEVIN In the bank, genius. HEATHER Not sure... you? KEVIN Nine hundred, seventy-two dollars and twelve cents. HEATHER (sarcastic) You sure? She laughs at him. KEVIN I’m OCD... Leave me alone. The person in front of them in line, a TRENDY GUY, giggles to himself... obviously eavesdropping on Heather and Kevin. HEATHER (to Trendy Guy) Something on your mind? TRENDY GUY (mocking) Nine hundred, seventy-two dollars... (to Kevin) That’ll get you a burger and a tank of gas out here... HEATHER Why don’t you shut up and mind your own business? Trendy Guy turns back around, not wanting to mess with the combative Heather.
3. KEVIN (quietly to Heather) Be nice... he’s cute. HEATHER He’s a jerk. KEVIN (louder) Doesn’t make him not cute. Trendy Guy hears Kevin and looks uncomfortable. comes and he hustles to the window.
HEATHER You’re such a slut. Kevin just shrugs his shoulders as a window opens up. Heather and Kevin head to that window manned by a bored, blonde BANKER wearing way too much makeup. BANKER How may I help you? HEATHER I’d like to get a balance statement from my checking account. The banker types furiously on her computer. CUT TO: INT./EXT.
KEVIN’S CAR - DAY
Kevin drives, Heather rides shotgun. They pass palm trees in downtown LA. They head into a dirty part of the city. HEATHER Twelve hundred, fifty-six dollars?! KEVIN And seventy-eight cents... HEATHER How are we going to afford an apartment? Kevin parks on the street. inside.
They feed the meter, then head
APARTMENT COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS
They head for the office. HEATHER This place doesn’t look very nice. KEVIN My friend suggested it. HEATHER Oh, yea... Jeffrey. You said he can get us jobs, right? Before he can answer, they reach the office where they find ROSA, the landlady. Rosa is in her mid thirties and Latin. She has a large pink flower in her hair and wears a low-cut top with a margarita in her hand. SALSA MUSIC plays in her office. ROSA Hola. What a caliente couple! Rosa Hernandez. Como estas?
She winks at them, smiling. HEATHER That means rose, right? in English.
Kevin shakes his head in embarrassment. Of course.
She can’t decide if she should be offended or not. KEVIN Great. Nice to meet you Ms. Hernandez. I spoke with you on the phone, we want to rent the one bedroom. ROSA Call me Rosa, and aren’t you’s a little young to be movin’ in together? She takes a long sip of her margarita while eyeing them. HEATHER Well, it’s not like that. just--
5. ROSA “Just friends”... I get it! Don’t want to mess up a good thing. Smart! She winks at them then grabs a key. ROSA (CONT’D) Let me show you the place. Heather, angry, starts to say something, but Kevin touches her arm and gives her a look that says “let it go.” INT.
APARTMENT ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Small bedroom, small kitchen, small living room... everything is small. It’s clean, though. The front door opens and Rosa enters with Kevin and Heather behind her. ROSA This is it... living room (points to the kitchen) Kitchen... She looks suggestively at the two young people. ROSA (CONT’D) And a spacious bedroom. She gives them a huge smile, but Heather can’t take it anymore. HEATHER We are not together. be together!
We will never
ROSA (to Kevin) To bad for you, ese, she’s muy guapo. Kevin stays calm. KEVIN She’s not really my type. HE IS GAY!
Rosa looks shocked at this.
6. ROSA Dios mio! What a shame! That gorgeous body... (checks Kevin out) ... and it’ll never enjoy the warmth and curves of a woman! She moves a little, suggestively, demonstrating her Latin curves. ROSA (CONT’D) Well, I guess I’ll let you and your... ahem... friend move your stuff in. She shuffles out, sipping her margarita on the way, still not believing they’re just friends. HEATHER (still peeved) Sounds good! Once Rosa’s gone... KEVIN That was mean. HEATHER Well, I hate when people make assumptions. KEVIN It was mean to me! If I want someone to know I’m gay, I will tell them... I don’t need you shouting it to everyone. Heather sighs. HEATHER Sorry... Let’s just go move our stuff in. CUT TO: INT.
APARTMENT ROOM - NIGHT
The room is still pretty empty except for one chair, and two sleeping bags. Kevin and Heather are each in one of those sleeping bags. Bed time. KEVIN I’ll call Jeffrey tomorrow.
7. HEATHER You think he has any leads on jobs? KEVIN We’d better hope so. BEEP BEEP BEEP! Kevin’s phone alerts him to a new text message. He grabs the phone and checks it. INSERT - TEXT: Not sure if you made it to LA yet, but I’m back in the outback... enjoy the sunny weather! - Jeffrey HEATHER Who was that? KEVIN Get some sleep... we start the job hunt tomorrow. What?
She thinks for a second... the realizes... HEATHER (CONT’D) Oh... shit. THE END.
Published on Nov 20, 2012
This is the pilot episode of a comedy/drama webseries that I was hired to write for an actress/producer in LA. It's a 7 episode first seaso...