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12/7/12 2:18 PM An evil rampaging skillet


THE EVIL SKILLET PART I By: Noah Morgenstern There once was a boy named William Johnson. He was not an ordinary boy. He was very smart, top of the class, and had a photographic memory. He was also very cunning. He had one brother, and one sister. He had a pet anaconda. He woke up one morning, feeling very sick. His parents were going to be away for two weeks. He decided to make scrambled eggs for breakfast. He got a skillet, an egg, and went to the stove. He set the skillet down, cracked the egg, put it in a bowl, put the skillet on the stove, lit the stove, buttered the skillet, whisked the egg, poured it on the pan, and than barfed on the egg-filled pan. It flipped over, and slowly morphed into a tank. It shot a fume of smoke into his face. Missiles made of smoke appeared on the sides of the skillet-tank. “The skillet’s evil!” William said. “Shut up, you wimp. Stupid pans don’t have feelings,” Prim said. Prim was William’s older sister. “You would die if you were in the Hunger Games,” William’s older brother Nicholas said. “Why are we standing here when an evil skillet-tank with smoke missiles is on the loose!?!?” said William. “This is going to be exactly like the Hunger Games if we don’t move our tushies!” BAM! “Run!” Nicholas said. “Oi! Prim! Where the heck are you!?” William said. “Going to Sara’s!” Prim shouted. SLAM! “Will, get your NITRON VORTEX NERF GUN. I’ll get my BB tank.” Nicholas said rubbing his hands together. “How can you be so calm!?” “Because it only shoots smoke,” Nicholas said in an exasperated voice. “Nothing truly dangerous about smoke. Actually, get any Nerf guns you can carry.” Seventeen minutes later, Nicholas ran over to William’s room. “Come to my room when you’re done,” Nicholas said.


And so William did just that. “Create a Lego base with people on it will you?” Nicholas made a small base held up by one pillar. “Look at this,” William said. He got a gun called the VIGILON out of a knapsack. WHOOSH! A loud sound like PFKKCHKT signaled that William had hit the pillar. Pieces flew everywhere. “I’ve got an idea. Get the drone, walkie-talkies, four of them, the ipad, and duct tape. Tape the drone to the tank, then tape a walkie-talkie to the drone.” “I know what you’re thinking. Awesome idea. But what’s with the drone?” “I just hope that the other tank will somehow make it fit the size of the person or thing using it or something.” “Good idea.” “We can talk in one walkie-talkie and what we say will come out of the other.” “That will only help us if the tank talks.” “True, but right now we need some sleep,” William said. The two boys went to sleep, with the sound of bangs and crashes to sleep with. The next day, they put their plan into action. “Turn on the drone,” William said. They had painted the whole tank black with an electric blue line lengthwise and Operation Alpha in white on the back of the tank. “Is the tank ready?” William said. “Affirmative, General,” Nicholas said. “Quit talking like that!” “Does it really matter how I talk?” “YES!!!” “Fine……Lieutenant.” “QUIT IT!” “At least I didn’t say ‘General’.” “Okay, then. Quickly put it down the stairs.” “Yes Sir.” “I can live with ‘Sir’.” “I see the other tank!” William said excitedly. “There’s some kind of symbol on the back of it.”


“Omega,” said Nicholas. “Look.” He showed William a book. He opened it. “Look here.” It read on one spot: Ω=Omega. Last letter of the Greek alphabet. Some people say it is a symbol of bad luck. That was all William needed to know. “NOT cool. Not cool at all.” “Greetings,” the skillet said through walkie-talkie. “So it can talk,” Nicholas said. “You can join me, or be terminated,” the tank said again in a robot-like voice. “I shall make an alliance with you,” Nicholas said through the walkie-talkie. “I will now grow your flying device so you can spy on the enemy.” “Fly!” Nicholas whispered. They saw the land shrink as they rose up into the air. “I shall give you three cannons now,” the skillet said. “Test the cannons, Will!” Nicholas whispered. “I am turning off communications now to save energy,” William said. He saw three blurs come out of the barrels. “That skillet doesn’t stand a chance!” Nicholas said excitedly. “I’m glad Mom and Dad aren’t here. They would kill us.” “This is going to be a bad week,” William said. “Most likely.” “Most likely? ENTIRELY LIKELY!!!” “Whatever.”


12/7/12 2:18 PM


12/7/12 2:18 PM


12/7/12 2:18 PM


12/7/12 2:18 PM

THE EVIL SKILLET  

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