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What To Do About Them Fuzzy Boundaries Power abhors a vacuum. When organizational boundaries and job descriptions are not clear someone will step up or inappropriately take over. Lack of clear boundaries fuels unarticulated assumptions and perceived lack of respect. Running Amuck Improvisation is great in jazz - horrible in conflict resolution. Most people never have a difficult conversation because they do not know what to do or how to do it.The result? Important conversations never take place or if attempted have poor results Blame and Shame Game Ruminating over whose fault something is never resolves a conflict. Neither does attributing a problem to someone’s “personality”. Discussing an issue is productive only if the discussion leads to resolution, which means identifying the problems and moving to problem solving. Arguing with the Line in the Sand The shortest distance to career suicide is to cross the line that differentiates standing up for yourself from insubordination. Failure to recognize and respect the insubordination line also escalates conflict at work. Those who do not feel heard or respected will attempt to BE HEARD through unconventional means - usually by talking more, louder, faster, and to more people. Fixes: What To Do and How To Do It

Action Speaks. Provide updates as you can. Do what you say that you will do. Define Boundaries - personal and professional. Articulate where your boundaries are and where you believe other’s boundaries to be. State “Here is where I see the demarcation line between our jobs. Do you see them the same?” Avoid Running Amuck. Instead have a plan and stick to it. For Example: Step 1-Determine for sure how the other person defines the problem. Step 2-Tell the person what you believe to be their perspective (you could be wrong). Step 3 Articulate how you see the situation. Step 4 Set an Agenda to address each issue-yours and theirs. Step 5 Dive into the discussion on issue at a time. Step 6 Memorialize agreements and next steps. Move from Blame and Shame to problem solving. The problem is never the person -- the problem is the impact of the behavior. Make a deliberate move to problem solving by articulating how each person defines the problem then ask “So where do we go from here?” Respect The Line In The Sand. Once decisions are made it is time to move from advocating your position to supporting the decision. Ask when the time for evaluating the success of the program will be and, in the meantime, track the success by objective measurements. It might be that you simply believe the priorities should be different. Unless your job title allows you to make those decisions, it is your job to support the decision. The saying goes knowledge is power. So now that you know the top 10 hidden escalators of conflict, I challenge you to look around your workplace do you see any of the hidden escalators. Find one then try out the fix. See how it goes.You might be pleasantly surprised.

Define the Correct Problem by determining the Unarticulated Assumptions and Unmet Expectations. Do this by asking “What about this situation did not meet your expectations?” Explore if Perceived Lack of Respect is an issue or THE issue. Ask “Does respect have anything to do with this?” Assess if the Communication Style is driving the conflict, and then adapt your style to the other person’s. Add more details for the storyteller. Speak in bullet points for the headliner. Ask broad general questions that do not require stating an individual preference for the hinter. Avoid playing The Fixer. Ask those involved if they want your assistance in their own efforts to solve the problem. Do not volunteer to take on a burden that someone else can and should do on his own.

spousenetwork.org

Organizations hire Carol Bowser and Conflict Management ductivity by easing workplace conflict and tension, to train skills, to evaluate internal conflict resolution processes, to er levels of performance and to facilitate tangible change

Strategies, Inc. to increase proemployees in conflict resolution coach key employees to highwithin the working environment.

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National Military Spouse Network Magazine  

We are the National Military Spouse Network (NMSN) - the pre-eminent networking, mentoring and professional development organization committ...

National Military Spouse Network Magazine  

We are the National Military Spouse Network (NMSN) - the pre-eminent networking, mentoring and professional development organization committ...

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