INT. BEDROOM - DAY A hand smacks an old 1970's alarm clock. Silencing it. A young man, KYLE, early 20's sits up. His hair is a mess. He looks confusedly at the alarm clock. He walks into the kitchen where his roommates are sitting. They are all wearing thick rimmed glasses, some with beanie hats. Some are smoking cigarettes. Bottles of hard liqour clutter the table. ROOMMATE 1 No way man, Bergman had it all, flair, nuance, intensity. ROOMMATE 2 Are you serious? Goddard was by far one of the most influential film makers of all time. Kyle ignores this and walks into the bathroom. He looks at his hair in the mirror and attempts to matte it down. It stays a disheveled mess. Kyle runs warm water and sticks his head under the sink. When his head reappears in the mirror, his hair is identically messy to just seconds before. Except now Kyle is wearing a gray and red track jacket. Kyle looks at it in bewilderment. KYLE What the hell? He distractedly shrugs it off and re-enters the kitchen. The roommates conversation continues. ROOMMATE 3 I'm just saying. Avant Garde film shaped the entire industry singlehandedly. Fuck that impressionistic shit. Right Kyle? Kyle looks at them in confusion. KYLE Uh. I don't really know anything about all that stuff... Suddenly ROOMMATE 3, a relatively hip looking young man, wearing a jacket similar to Kyle's, springs out of his chair and pins Kyle against the wall.
ROOMMATE 3 Listen man. You think you're better than me? You know what it's like to watch your own Mom drown in a public drinking fountain? No you don't. So don't act like you know me. Kyle is paralyzed with fear and puzzlement. INT. KITCHEN NOOK - DAY Kyle makes himself breakfast. It is a series of tight close-ups on the cooking process. We hear Feist playing over the scene. Kyle stops suddenly holding a fully made breakfast. He looks down at it. KYLE Well that was fast. EXT. APARTMENT STOOP - MINUTES LATER He exits the apartment and finds his friend BEN sitting on the bottom stair. Ben does not have the hip attire of the roommates inside, he wears a Metallica t-shirt and a baseball cap. He is smoking a cigarette. BEN What's with the hair? KYLE I'm not really sure. A beat. KYLE Since when do you smoke? Ben looks down at the cigarette in his hand. He appears surprised. BEN Hmm. I don't. That's weird. KYLE Dude it's not the only thing that's weird. A bunch of crazy shit just happened to me. Without so much as looking away from his eyeline in the distance Ben replies: BEN
Like what? KYLE Well first a 1970's alarm clock, which I don't own by the way went off in my room and woke me up. Then my hair was stuck like this. Then I was wearing this shitty jacket, and then my roommate had a weird Mom monologue. Ben smiles and laughs quietly. KYLE What. What is it? Ben continues smiling. BEN I know what's going on. You do?
KYLE BEN Yup. You my friend are in a student film. Kyle looks around. At the cigarette. His outfit. He looks up, seemingly at the overhead music. KYLE Son of a bitch... BEN Yeah man. You're screwed. Looks like you have to learn a lesson, or you're stuck this way forever. And I am not talking to you if your hair looks like that. A lesson? A lesson.
KYLE BEN KYLE Thanks man. I got to go. EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - LATER Kyle walks quickly down the street. Another assortment of hip alternative music plays overhead. We see a multitude of
angles as Kyle makes his way down the street. On more than one occasion we see Kyle pass by the same object. A sign. A hydrant. A bright red car. Kyle seems to take notice of this. Examining his surroundings as he walks. He grow frustrated and begins to jog. EXT. HAMPSHIRE COLLEGE - LATER Kyle walks toward the center of campus. He sees few people as he passes through. Finally he spots a sign for the Media Department and heads in through a door with a sign that reads: STUDENT FILM CLUB. The Fleet Foxes plays overhead. INT. FILM CLUB - MOMENTS LATER Kyle enters a room with a large round table. Around it he sees twenty or so people that look similar to his roommates. Thick rimmed glasses, beanies, and horizontally striped sweaters. The same music that was playing overhead now appears to be playing through a stereo. The conversation being had hear is nearly identical to that of Kyle's roommates. CLUB PRESIDENT If you ask me, Goddard was by far one of the most influential film makers of all time. VICE PRESIDENT No way man, Bergman had it all, flair, nuance, intensity. Kyle looks at them puzzled and amused. Finally they take notice of him. CLUB MEMBER 1 Hey, what's up? KYLE Oh. Um. You guys are the student film club right? CLUB MEMBER 2 That's what the sign says.
Many of the members snicker at this. Kyle raises an eyebrow, unamused. CLUB PRESIDENT What can we do for you? KYLE Um. I guess I'm stuck in a student film. And I was wondering if you guys could help me figure out how to end it? CLUB MEMBER 3 Woah, that would make a killer student film. KYLE I think we've established that. CLUB PRESIDENT Well I think it would make a great excercise. What kind of ending are you looking for. KYLE I don't really care. Just whatever is the easiest. CLUB MEMBER 1 Well you could cut to black... EXT. SIDEWALK DAY - SIMULTANEOUS Kyles holds a large black poster board and chases the camera's view point down the street, attempting to cover the lens in blackness. Whenever he gets close the camera backs further away. KYLE Goddammit! Get back here! INT. FILM CLUB - MOMENTS LATER Yeahhh.
KYLE I don't think so.
CLUB MEMBER 3 Have you tried doing something open-ended and ambiguous? EXT. SIDEWALK - SIMULTANEOUS We see Kyle slinging a worn-out red backpack over one
shoulder and begin walking up over a large hill. A lulling, sad indie rock song plays overhead. INT. FILM CLUB - MOMENTS LATER KYLE I think that might take too long. Club Member 3 slouches in her chair. Crossing her arms. Asshole. What?
CLUB MEMBER 3 KYLE Club Member 3 smiles innocently. Nothing!
CLUB MEMBER 3 CLUB MEMBER 2 Have you tried killing yourself? CLUB MEMBER 4 Oh yeah, plenty of student films have the main character kill themselves! The entire club nods and smiles in agreement. EXT. TALL BUILDING - SIMULTANEOUS Kyle looks up at the outside of a large tower like building. He marches bravely to the entrance. EXT. TALL BUILDING - MOMENTS LATER Kyle is atop the building. He cautiously peers over the edge for only a split second. Nope.
KYLE EXT. TALL BUILDING - MOMENTS LATER Kyle walks quickly, if not meekly out of the same door he previously entered through. INT. FILM CLUB - MOMENTS LATER KYLE No way. You guys. You're supposed to be film makers! All of your ideas
are shitty and terrible! The group hangs their heads in shame. They are tight lipped and their brows hang heavily. CLUB MEMBER 2 C'mon man. That was just mean. KYLE I'm sorry but it's true. Why do student films have to suck so much? CLUB MEMBER 1 We don't care if you think they suck. We do it for us. Suddenly Club Member 3 jolts out of her seat. CLUB MEMBER 3 Yeah we do what we love. And we don't give a Jesus Crap Mary Christ what the hell you think! A silent beat. The entire group looks over to her. She looks aroud quickly. Embarassed. She sits back down sheepishly. KYLE Wow. I'm sorry. I guess I just figured since you guys put yourselves out there, that you were okay with being ridiculed. I never thought it would hurt your feelings. CLUB PRESIDENT (Teary Eyed) Nobody does my friend. Nobody does. More sad acoustic indie rock begins playing overhead. The two people on either side of the president grab his respective hands and grip them tightly. KYLE Well I was wrong. You guys are cooyou guys are alright. CLUB PRESIDENT Well thank you stranger. We hope you find your happy ending. Just then the sad acoustic music stops. And everyone looks
over head in surprise. Kyle looks at them all, gleeful. KYLE We did it! I learned my lesson! Thanks guys! Kyle sprints through the door and out across the campus. Leaving the door open as he does. With tears in his eyes the Club President stands and shouts, with a smile across his face. CLUB PRESIDENT Get out of here you crazy, beautiful man! Find your happy ending! EXT. APARTMENT STOOP - LATER Kyle reaches his stairway, Ben is sitting in the same spot where we last left him. The cigarette is gone. BEN What's with the hair? Kyle touches his head and realizes that his hir is in a much more managable style. KYLE I'm not sure. Kyle sits next to Ben on the stoop. His gray and red track jacket is gone. BEN Did you learn your lesson? Kyle smiles. KYLE Yeah. I guess I did. BEN What was it? KYLE That student filmmakers work hard, and they're okay people. BEN They're not my cup of tea. They always try and throw some random twist at you for no reason. And
their music sucks. KYLE You said it pal. Kyle claps Ben on the shoulder and heads inside. Leaving Ben staring, once again, into the distance. INT. APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER Kyle's roomates are now in the living room playing xbox and drinking glasses of water. They are in t-shirts, jeans, and an occassional college sweatshirt. ROOMMATE 1 Hey is Danielle coming over? ROOMMATE 2 Yeah after swim practice. She's bringing pizza. ROOMMATE 3 Nice. I play winner. ROOMATE 1 You play never. The three guys laugh. Kyle smiles and turns to leave. ROOMMATE 3 Hey man. Sorry about earlier. I don't know what was wrong with me. You alright? Kyle continues to smile. KYLE Trust me. I've never been better. INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER Kyle reaches his room and turns on the light. ROOMMATE 1 (O.S.) Hey man, there was a package for you today, it's on your desk. KYLE Thanks dude. Kyle draws his shades and heads over to his desk, turning on the lamp. A large square box sits on the desk. His name is written
thickly in black marker. He grabs scissors and splits the packing tape slowly down the center. He reaches into the box and removes an item. It is a large black pistol. KYLE Really? A gun? Really? Come on! CUT TO BLACK