12/30/2020
Mymomsentmeatextearlythismorning. Dad is having trouble breathing. I am taking him to the hospital.
Iwasalarmed,butIknewGodwouldprotectmydadandmyfamily.Fourdaysearlier,my entirefamilygotdiagnosedwiththeCoronavirus,andthedoctor'sofficefellsilentasthenews wasletout.Wehadjustbeentalkingabouthowgoodour2020hadbeendespitethepandemic.
Somehow,wegotblessedbyGodduringatragicyear.
Welefttheofficehappy,laughingatthefactthatweallgotCOVID-19onedayafter Christmas,pinningwhocould'vebeentheonetohavegivenusthevirus.Acoupleofnamesgot broughtup,butwealldisagreedbecausetheywouldneverriskothers'livesjusttobeoutside. Thatnight,mydadhadtotakeabreathingtreatmentbecausehewashavingahardtime breathing.Iopenedmybibleonmybedandreadit,prayingformyfamilytostayhealthy,butI
trustedGod.Iknewhewouldn’tletmedown,butsomehowinjustfourdays,mydadwasinthe hospital,andIknewGodwouldkeephimsafe.
IFacetimedhimlaterthatmorningonDecember30th,2020.Hewashookeduptooxygen, buthelookednormal.Wetalkedaboutmymominterviewingforhernewjob.Iaskedhim questionshewouldneveranswerbecauseIwas“justakid,”andinthatmoment,wejustboth laughedwitheachother
IwasaChristianmywholelife.Iwenttochurch,praisedandworshiped,prayed,Idedicated myentirelifetoGod,andIwasn’tashamedtodoso.
02/01/2021
Amonthandthreedayssincemydadhadbeeninthehospital.WespentNewYear'son FaceTime,andhecalledmeonmybirthdayandpromisedwewouldpartywhenhegotout.
“InJesus'name,youwillwakeup”mymomwassobbing,tryingherbesttostayquietonthe phonewithmydad.Shecalledmysisterandmeintotheroomtosaysomethingtomydad beforetheyputhimontheventilator.“Iloveyou!Iwillseeyouwhenyouwakeup,Dad.”I cheerfullysaid
Dayswentby,andwewouldgetonZoomtoseehimlyingontheventilator.Helookedso skinny,andhestartedtolooksick.Somedayswerebetterthanothers,butIprayeddayand night.MymomorganizedaprayercallthatmyfamilyandIwoulddoeverynight.Iknewmy dadwouldsurvivebecausehewasfighting,andmyfamilyandIprayedevenharder.
02/14/2021
TheTexasfreezehadbeenbrutaltous.Wehadpower,water,andeverythingthatnooneelse hadduringthefreeze,butwedidn’thavemydad.Thehospitallostpoweracoupleoftimes;we
celebratedValentine'sDaywithoutmydad,oneofhisfavoriteholidays(mybirthdaywas obviouslynumberone).
Mygrandmacameintotownearlierthatmonthtosupportus.Thefreezewasdepressing.I justwantedtorotinmybedforever,lettingtheblanketconsumeme,eatmewhole,devourme, endmysufferinguntilmydadwasbackhome.
02/18/2024
Theprayercalltonight,mymother'sdad,apastor,prayed.Theprayerfeltgood;thecallwas over,andeveryonefeltgoodaboutit.Thatwastheprayerthatwouldsavemydad'slife.Weall hadaspecialtwinkleinoureyes.Mygrandmacameintotheroom,sayingrandomthings, slippinginafew“Hallelujah”.Shewasjustashappyaswewere.
Outofalltheprayercallswehaddone,thisonewastheonethatfeltsospecialandpromising, especiallycomingfromapastor
02/19/2021
Iamuplatetonight,itisaround2am,andIamjustdoomscrollingonmyphone.Isuddenly hearmymomonthephone,“Okay,wewillheadover.”Aminutelater,sheopenedmydoor,her voicecracking,“Dadisdeclining,weneedtoheadovertothehospital.”
Itwasaround3amwhenwearrived,andmymomprayedtheentireride.
Mydadwashookedtoallofthesemachines,oneofwhichwasbeepingsuperloudly Ilooked atmydadforawhilebeforeIfellintomymother'sarms,sobbing.Thenursescameinfor comfort,butatthatmoment,Ineededmydadtotellmeeverythingwouldbeokay.
Thenursetoldusthatmydadcouldstillheareverythingandofferedusaphonecall;hewasin theICU,andwecouldn’tgoin.Whenwegotonthephone,wealltoldhimhowmuchweloved himandhowheneededtokeepfighting.Hisstoryisn’toveryet.Ineedhimtostay,Ineedhim inmylifemuchlonger,“I’monly17,”Isayonthephone.
5AM
Isatinmyroomcrying,butIknewIneededtoleanonsomeone.Igotonmyhandsand kneesandpleadedtoGod.“God,pleasesavemydad,lethimlivelonger,rpleasedon’ttakehim.
Justsavehim.Please,please,please.God,Itrustyou.”
11/14/2024
Iwasdiagnosedearlierthisyearwithpanicdisorder,anxiety,anddepression.Mydadpassed awayat5:40amonFebruary19th,2021.Threeyearslate,randIamtellingthestoryofwhyIno longerbelieveinGod.HowcouldIwhenIbeggedhimtosavesomeoneIneeded,andIlost everythingfortyminuteslater
Ionlygot17yearswithmydad.Hewillneverwalkmedowntheaisle,meethisgrandkids,he didn’tseemegraduatefromhighschool,andhewon’tseemegraduatefromcollege.Iwasjusta
kidwhoneededherdad,bad,andsomehowGoddidn’tseethatevenwhenIbeggedhimonmy handsandknees.