Leo (July 23-Aug 22) Fires light as the past returns in the form of an old flame. Don’t forget that the girl code is an irrelevant and patriarchal social construction – do what your heart desires. Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) Nature becomes of increasing importance this week. Despite your desire for adventure, it’s advised to avoid smoking the devil’s lettuce by the Uni Lakes, especially at 2 am on a Wednesday.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) The moon is lingers this week, bringing with it a sense of loneliness. Don’t worry, the feeling that all your friends hate you is all in your head... we think. Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) Procrastination is one of your finest qualities, but try to overcome the allure of postponement. You can’t be a fourth year forever, so perhaps listen to a TED Talk on how to get your shit together for some mid-week inspo.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) Creativity swirls within your aura. As opportunities to flaunt your talents appear, keep broadcasting to a minimal. Future employers won’t be impressed by your need to publicise drug use.
Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19) Your starmap is showing some new connections this week. Nevertheless, remain grounded and make wise choices. When Mum and Dad ask how you met your new boo, Tinder isn’t the answer they’re hoping for.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) An orbital disturbance causes confusion to settle on your horizon. While your constant efforts to please everyone are admirable, they’ll eventually backfire and leave you isolated. Try picking a side for once.
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) The strong energy of Venus is heading your way. Instead of focusing on speed, perhaps do things properly for once rather than your usual half-assed effort. Nobody’s impressed by a one minute wonder.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) Jupiter’s presence causes you to fall into a spiral of erratic behaviour. Sadly, your binge drinking and resulting embarrassment cannot be blamed on this; it’s time to start making better decisions.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Passions are ignited as Saturn polishes it’s rings. There’s no doubt you’re punching, but thankfully they haven’t realised yet. Confidence is key, lock it down while you still can.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) A beckoning Pluto brings your loyalties to the forefront. While there’s nothing wrong with chatting with a mate’s significant other, constantly sending shower snaps is bound to give the wrong impression.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Planetary alignments reveal new hurdles. Despite your best efforts to overcome personal challenges, you’ll inevitably revert to old habits and do nothing but complain for the next few months.